#(what makes us think he's a history buff? idk. vibes!)

[still-breathing-au-p3r]

[continued from here] [first post for October 18th]

Akihiko pulls a long, slow breath in and out through his nose. He feels both relaxed and energized, loose-limbed and pleasantly charged the way he does after a good warm up. His eyes have even drifted closed at some point.

So that’s what a second awakening is like, huh? He wouldn’t have guessed it would be so…comfortable. The brand new presence in the back of his head is unmistakably different from Polydeuces, but just as effortlessly familiar. Had it been the same way for Amada?

He opens his eyes to find Shinji staring at nothing in particular, his mouth slack with surprise. As Akihiko watches, his gaze refocuses but loses none of its astonishment as it snaps to meet Akihiko’s own.

“...Aki, what the hell was that?” 

For a moment, Akihiko isn’t certain what he’s talking about. The only thing he can think of is… “Wait,” he replies. “You saw it too?” Were second awakenings actually visible to everyone? Or maybe just to Persona users? And outside of the Dark Hour, too–

“I–” Shinji clutches loosely at the front of his hospital gown with his free hand. He drops his gaze again, his brow furrowed in concentration, eyes darting back and forth like he’s trying to examine the inside of his own heart. “Castor, he…”

Oh. Everything suddenly clicks into place. It hadn’t been Akihiko’s awakening Shinji had seen.

“Yeah.” Akihiko is taken by surprise when the word comes out as a breathless laugh. “Me too. Polydeuces isn’t there anymore. It’s Cincinnatus now.”

Shinji’s mouth twitches upwards and he snorts softly. Akihiko suffers a moment of intense confusion before he realizes: mister-history-buff probably recognizes the name. He wonders what it says about him that Shinji finds funny; he’ll have to remember to look it up when he gets the chance.

The amusement slides from Shinji’s expression, replaced with befuddled concentration. His fingers curl and uncurl in the fabric over his chest. His other hand– the one still clasped solidly with Akihiko’s– flexes too. It doesn’t seem like he even realizes he’s doing it.

“Hey,” Akihiko murmurs, concerned. He’d been so caught up in how easy his own re-awakening had been that he’d just assumed it had gone the same for Shinji, and he probably shouldn’t have. After all, Shinji’s first awakening to Castor hadn’t exactly been…a peaceful event. He leans in a little closer and gives Shinji’s hand a brief squeeze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong, that just felt–” Shinji’s jaw works silently for a moment. “So damn weird. It’s not– It isn’t bad, but it’s–”

“It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Shinji runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit he’s never been able to break even after he started wearing a hat nearly twenty-four-seven (his other hand still hasn’t let go of Akihiko’s, and the realization hits like a bolt of giddy adrenaline). “I ain’t a fan of not knowin’ why it happened either.” 

“It happened to Amada too,” Akihiko says. “When he told us about it, Mitsuru said that it was something there had been theories about for a while, but that they’d never actually seen happen before. The idea is that if a person changes enough, their Persona can change too. She called it a ‘second awakening’.”

“Huh…” Shinji laughs. Just once, and the sound is thin and utterly exhausted. “I guess they recognized the promise we made too,” he says, slanting a tired, crooked smile at Akihiko.

It’s hard to breathe suddenly, like the tide of warm gratitude and affection that floods his chest is taking up all the space usually reserved for his lungs. He swallows past the knot in his throat.

“Yeah, I– I-I think they did.” Akihiko’s voice rushes out in a thick, emotional whisper.

His grip on Shinji’s hand tightens and the movement tugs Akihiko another centimeter forward. It strikes him now, for the first time, that he’s been leaning in like this for a while now. 

It strikes him, as well, just how little distance there is between him and Shinji’s smiling mouth– near enough to feel the warmth radiating from his skin. 

It would take so little effort to close that gap entirely, wouldn’t it?

The thought makes his jaw ache and his breath skip in his chest.

…What thought would that be, exactly? 

What the hell is he thinking? 

What the hell is he doing–?!

He can’t just–

He can’t.

He’s still leaning in closer to Shinji as though drawn by gravity, but he wrenches his attention away from the stupid, catastrophic impulse that had almost overcome him.

Instead Akihiko presses his forehead to Shinji’s and closes his eyes.

It’s an old, familiar gesture between them, and the wave of comfort it brings is so intense that it even overpowers (most of) his mortification, leaving him feeling very close to serene. 

Shinji sighs, long and relaxed, just as soothed by the gesture as Akihiko is. Mercifully, he says nothing about what Akihiko had nearly done.

He’ll think about that narrowly averted disaster later.

[eunzul]

wow, people actually know I exist??? especially when it's the person you really admire????

thank you so much @estcaligo for the tag!!💕✨🌸

1. would you be mer, a beastman, a fae, or a human? (or other!)

as much as i love to live in the sea, i would rather be a beastman instead✨ its mentioned in ruggie's chats that beastwoman are a lot stronger and are often the ones who do the huntings.

they're so strong that leona and ruggie avoid getting into their bad sides.

and that makes me go "hell yeah, i wanna be buff like jack 💪✨"

2. would you be at rsa or nrc?

most likely in nrc. my soul is tainted with darkness and evil that nothing could ever repel it.

3. what dorm would you belong to?

with my crippling anxiety i would be in ignihyde. that's it.

oh and i took the dorm sorting thingy and i got ignihyde which made me shit my pants of how accurate it is—

4. what character(s) would you be best friends with?

im not really a social butterfly type of person and rather spend most of my entire day inside my room so i'll probably vibe with Idia more due to our introverted nature and same interest in video games

and also cater so we could send each other stan twitter memes around 2 in the morning and gossip daily about celebrity dramas.

5. what character(s) would you hate?

*sigh* sebek.

now i don't actually hate his character at all but if i ever met him in real life i would absolutely DESPISE him.

listen, i love his waka-sama too but with his loud boasting and bragging about him and saying that i suck cuz im human is just—

like boi aren't you human too 🤨🤨🤨

but he's also the same guy that i would have a crush on cuz he's cute and his voice lines in the game are just— 💕💝❤️💕💝❤️❤️💝💕💝❤️💕💝❤️💕

6. what character(s) would you date?

i don't really see myself dating anyone in nrc (also im probably aromantic but still questioning) but i would date my man azul out of everyone 🥰🥰🥰

i think azul is a traditional type of guy, the one who's in-charge of the relationship.

i don't like the idea of my partner carrying all the load but at the same time i leaned more to the submissive role of the relationship.

so yeah, i choose my octo boi 🐙

7. what would floyd's nickname be for you?

still shrimpy cuz im short 😔

8. and rook's?

idk man mademoiselle creator of art i guess??? or some art related nicknames.

9. what twst character(s) are you most like (personality-wise)

idia is just me but minus the brains the handsome face 😔

10. which subject(s) do you think you would excel at?

if i suck in science and in pe in real life, then there's no way im gonna excel in alchemy and flight.

so i think i'll be great in history.

11. what club would you join?

im no musician but I WOULD DIE JUST TO JOIN THE LIGHT MUSIC CLUB (or pop music club whatever)

they don't really do anything much other than eat snacks or chat and i want to chill with the music bois

and if we're gonna perform i'll just play my little kalimba.

12. how do you think you would survive in twisted wonderland/what would your life be like in general?

i'm an emotional trainwreck so at some point i will overblot in my life. whether I'm at school, work, in the sea or sand, wherever and whenever— it's gonna happen to me.

if somehow i survive my overblot, i guess i'll be fine. if I have great friends and family who will support me and if i put effort into everything and i think I'll be alright.

13. [optional!] what would your unique magic be?

honestly this is giving me the same problem i had with "what's ur bnha quirk?!?"

since i chose beastman in the first question, i thought it would be funny if my unique magic is being a 'copycat'.

like i can copy everyone's unique magic and use it as an advantage to find what's their strongest and weakest points.

or if we're tasked to battle as a team, i can copy one of my member's unique magic so it doubles our power and defense. it's really helpful especially if they are powerful.

Now @eemerald-eyes @eriange @dovechil its ur turn ✨

[bro-strider-hate-blog]

YOUR TAGS ON MY SIS POST??? IMMACULATE

I will include my tags again but only because i cant get enough of myself and not to sound like im tooting my own kazoo but this is the one time in my entire life that ive been objectively correct in every way

Lengthy and unrelated thing under the cut: 

Let me talk about canon bro for a second 😌 even though its barely and tangentially related to this and you dont have to read it <3, in fact i would encourage you not to read it i just wanna run my mouth. People love to use him as a cheap villain in their dave angst fics which is like... hilarious to me. Like i get it, since hes abusive he must also be misogynistic and homophobic and transphobic and also genuinely hates dave and revels in his suffering right? Lmeow no, hes just some guy and despite everything he is in fact trying his best. Hes naturally intense and aggressive and this doesnt translate well to child rearing, especially since his one goal is to make dave strong enough (physically and mentally) to Survive whats coming. The random sneak attacks ? The traps littered around the house ? To keep dave on his toes and buff his spatial awareness. The cameras ? To monitor his progress (if hes not up to standard then we’ll just up the “training”) and / or film some puppet snuff (puff ? Snupp?) so he can keep running his dumb website and like provide for them or some shit , or ig to buy random crap and throw it around the house. Who cares if the kid sees the porn anyway its just puppets, plus hes seen way worse at that age and turned out fine (no he didnt). Dave has to be resourceful , he has to be creative and think on his feet , lets have impromptu rap battles and scrabble games. He has to know numbers like the back of his hand (idk why this is even a phrase do any of you memorise what the back of your hands looks like) to effectively utilise his sylladex.... actually nobody even uses that shit idk why bro was so insistent on it. Dave is his protege, his charge, dave is NOT his friend and hes not gonna let him forget that. He teaches him all he knows, in the way he knows. Making comics, mixing music, ironic jokes, being cool and getting shit done. Actually its GOOD that the kid is terrified of him, if hes the scariest thing in the room then dave wont fear anything else. Lets spar then, if dave wins then hes trained him well. If dave loses then hell become resilient. Either way he has to be strong or else hell die, training is necessary. Its either this or failure and failure equals death. Do your own laundry, ration your own food, become independent as fast as possible because i wont be around to take care of you forever

Nothing bro does is without reason, neither is it “sadism”, its all very logical to him despite being horrific to any sane person because his only friend is the mansplain-manipulate-manspread puppet that raised him and he has awful coping mechanisms that barely stretch past beating himself 1. up 2. off. Like he kept his baby alive to the point where it could keep itself alive (kind of alive) and thats a win to him.

That was my thesis on why bro is not a bigot like ,, he makes porn of fucking smuppets, that gives him zero chance to fetishize The Ladies. I doubt he has porno mags littered around the house its just endless plushie dicks and asses (and the two puppets handcuffed together were legit kinda funny like Why). So why would dave have internalised homophobia if it did not stem from his brother ??? Acting as if his only friends werent exuding anti gay vibes, like christ, john “im not a homosexual” egbert, him and rose’s competitive flirting gag (before they found out they were related >.>), just generally the three of them accusing each other of being gay, yknow, as kids do (jade is exempt from the argument we love jade here). Things were just more homophobic back then and its not like bro and dave had a sincere talk about gender and sexuality in the 13 or so years they lived in the same house like why would you even come out to your younger sibling if you could just not !!! Lol !!! I could be getting all this info wrong lol so correct me if im wrong but bro has this cute comic artstyle and it was about someones charge (? Sibling?) straight up dying and the saw guy makes an appearance the end , like there was no sex or gore or whatever but if you look at sbahj the second page literally has an incest sex joke like where does dave even get his material from , which online sites has he been trawling , well haha its not bros job to monitor his kids search history lets ignore it and move on if the kid wants to be gross and make dumb jokes who is he to judge , spread your problematic wings and soar into the cancel clouds little guy

Anyway heres a disclaimer: if youre gonna clown on this post and tell me im an abuse apologist or some shit just understand that i have a lot of free time and love being a huge asshole when provoked but like youre so welcome to add to the discussion i love bullying my favourite character bro strider by steamrolling him we’ve talked about trans rights for too long now is the time for trans wrongs

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[bom-bombon]

idk if youre still doing that ask, but if you are do you have anything for virginia?

I have a whole story about Virginia and her complexity.... problem is that most of it is in my head and I can’t put it into words

Name: Elizabeth Henry

Age: 31-34

Gender: Cis female

Ethnicity/Race: European (English, there’s others, I just forgot)

Siblings: West Virginia and Kentucky

Height: 5’5 (165.15 cm)

Relations:

-Kentucky: She loves him. She adores him. Virginia doesn’t realize this out of him and West Virginia, she loves Kentucky more. Although he was a troublemaker as a kid, she still showered him with gifts of animals and helped him start a farm and planting. Even though she was distant with him when he was growing up, Kentucky understood why and was soon pushed into the responsibility of being a state, leading him to emphasize with her the workload. During the War of 1812, they became closer as Kentucky tried to be at every battle, supporting the country as Virginia took care of him and his wounds. She was proud of him. Nowadays, they are still on good terms. 

-Maryland: She has mixed feelings about Maryland. Mostly negative. Perhaps there was a time when they were colonies that Virginia thought Maryland as a friend but it’s complicated and a wip. Although Maryland’s positive attitude and some of his beliefs rubbed off on Virginia over the years, she finds him annoying. Since the Civil War, he became more wealthy than her which was a blow to her self esteem, seeing how she always bragged how successful she was and was then destroyed. She has hated how much influence Maryland had on DC seeing as they had different aspirations for the boy. Virginia wanted him more of a Southern gentleman and Maryland wanted him to be free and study all his heart desired, even if it included getting in trouble. And finally, and most importantly, she absolutely hates how he drives and how he even got a driver license. She has gotten into countless accidents whenever she is behind him and fights with him nearly every time. She’s tired of him. But she hates other people more so he’s okay for now.

-North Carolina: Though I don’t have a concrete and satisfying oc of North Carolina, I think that these two are good friends. They just vibe with each other from the start and have great respect for each other. They like to tease each other too.

Virginia: I guess I won once again, huh?

North Carolina, eye twitching: Oh, bless your heart, sweetie.

-Tennessee: She finds him kind of adorable with his optimism, his passion about music, and his habit for always volunteering to help. Virginia always had great respect for him.

-West Virginia: She doesn’t really like him. She used to really love him as she used to raise him but their bond just slowly deteriorated up until the Civil War. Like with Kentucky, she was distant but this had a greater effect on his mental health as West interpreted that Virginia didn’t love him anymore. She had so much to deal with that it physically drained her from wanting to spend time with West Virginia. She always told him she loved him but it wasn’t enough. When West Virginia was becoming his own state, he stole some secrets from Virginia and gave it to the Union. When she found out about this, she felt utterly betrayed. She always thought they were close albeit having opposing opinions. What made this hurt more was that West Virginia was actively participating in the campaign in the East, taking Richmond and causing damage. After the war, she heard some of the things he said about her which was the last straw for her. She began hating him from that point on. He betrayed her, hurt her, and talked absolute trash about her. She didn’t forgive him. Her hatred died down nowadays but she doesn’t really like him. Please know that this was from her perspective, okay?

Things I don’t know how to title but it exists: 

-first wanted to seek wealth

-was incredibly sick when she was young; she promised herself to never get to that point in life at whatever’s cost

-wealthy

-works hard

-makes bomb ass food

-mom friend

-motherly

-compulsive caretaker

-she was 18 when they declared her independence 

-sorta a history buff

-loves going to festivals

-has an obscure driver license plate, not sure what it is yet, but I just know that it’s probably out of vanity 

-(on the last point wtf is up with your license plate Virginians. Every time I see a plate that says Virginia, your plate always says something weird and I’m just so confused. Also you’re not very good drivers. There. I said it.)

Some things about her (development? idk): 

Due to the living conditions of Jamestown and the rapid growth because of tabacco, she promised herself to never get to that point in her life ever again. She developed a habit throughout the years of saving money and soon became her profession of either business or economics. 

Since she was the oldest compared to the other OG 13 an had two younger brothers, she had to grow up quickly and be the responsible one. She wanted them to be safe while they’re together. For example, when Virginia see anyone hurt, she was always the first to help them and give some sort of lecture. She also provided the food, with some help obviously, but she was the main chef. Whenever the other colonies get upset, Virginia has to step in and comfort them. At the same time, she was also delving more into politics and helping out with her government. With this mindset, she had little time to truly enjoy her childhood or even have one. She had to be the mature one. She had to be the responsible one. She had to be. This ultimately causes her to be stressed and thinking that is normal. It also lead to Virginia being to stubborn and thinks she doesn’t have to be goofy or have fun like the other kids.

Some writing but I’m too shy to show all of it so have this,,,:

She swiftly exited the party held in their shared house. Thoughts raced through her mind. Fun, gentle memories filled her mind with nostalgia only to be struck with regrettable decisions she made. Her breath quickened. Her blue eyes shifted from plant to plant. Her chest grew heavier by the second. 

--

The booming echoes of gunshots softly dies down, relieving Virginia of her stress. She and most of the female states took refuge at a nearby town from Yorktown. Virginia prayed once more for the safety of her fellow states who are currently in the siege. Pressing her hands together, she began reciting. Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Maryland, South Carolina, and Georgia - her brethren. The thought of them getting hurt distressed her greatly. They don’t always agree on everything but she’ll be damned if they don’t mean anything to her. Little by little, she began relaxing, but that anxiety never left. Once the last words slipped from her mouth, she glanced at the other girls. The tension in the air was palpable. They could only hope that this period of silence would stay silent.

Some quotes,, things?: 

Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico: *closes the windows and curtains fiercely and quickly while peeking out every now and then*

Virginia: *crosses arms with a disappointed look* So what’s your excuse for today? 

Nevada: [whispers] I said shut up! *looks at Arizona and New Mexico who gave her a nod*

Arizona: We’re good. We can talk now.

Virginia: What illegal shit have you done this time?

--

South Carolina: What are you? Barely 300 years old? Makes sense. You’re so young!

Rhode Island: Careful South, you’ll make the entire void we call Midwest cry *snorts*

Virginia: When Washington wanted us to get along, I’m not quite sure this is what he meant

--

Virginia: *disgusted by the whole thing*

--

West Virginia: Oh come on! 

Maryland: Listen, no one will make fun of you.

Virginia: I will though!

--

DC: How the hell did you get in my house??

Maryland: Not important! As long as we’re together.

DC: Virginia?

Virginia: Like he said, not important.

--

DC: If you don’t mind a whole house has to be clean.

Maryland: See! He’s not gonna make us work.

DC: Who said I don’t need help?

Virginia: *smacks Maryland*

--

Maryland: For someone who lived almost practically alone for the past 150 years, he makes some messes.

Virginia: You know, this is your fault.

--

Virginia: I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again, your brother’s a dick

Delaware: I agree.

--

Virginia: Why the hell is this here? *points to Maryland*

--

1812

Virginia: Show me what you have

Kentucky: A gun!

Virginia: NO!

--

Smith: Ugh, don’t be like that. [sees Virginia] And don’t worry about the kid too. No reason for her to starve under your rule too.

[doctorhawke]

aaaaahh thank you @missveils for the tag because this is the first one of these ive gotten to do for this sideblog and aaaaaaaaaaaah im having so much fun

1. NAME: charlie

2. BIRTHDAY: june 27!!

3. SUN SIGN: cancer (and everybody says it makes sense for me jfdlskghdlskfj)

4. HEIGHT: 5’5′

5. HOBBIES/INTERESTS: oh jflksdjgslk i draw all the time constantly, used to embroider a BUNCH of patches and keep trying to make dragon age ones because i have ideas but no motivation to get back into it, i also make playlists constantly and ive kind of been thinking about posting some of my da ones here because i love formatting them (i have a whole series on my main blog aka star trek but ive been sapped for ideas there because im very hyperfixated. but its SO satisfying making them and posting them). also i guess i should shoutout that im a history major and i enjoy reading historical nonfiction books though usually i only manage reading them for classes jfldskgjls

6. FAVORITE COLOR: ohh either blue or red but definitely like bright jewel tones in general especially for wearing

7. FAVORITE BOOKS: i haven’t read anything in ages but. love invisible cities for the vibes, italo calvino can be super gross tho. love richard siken’s crush. love novala takamoto’s kamikaze girls. love michael ende’s the neverending story.

8. LAST SONG: at this very moment listening to local god by everclear which i have a lot of thoughts on re: my inquisitor and his polycule involvement with varric (theyre in bisexual rogues together)

9. LAST FILM/SHOW: my last movie was the psych 2 movie (it was STELLAR im SO SOFT and it has me thinking about my da2 psych au) though idk if thats like.... Film... in terms of film it would be portrait of a lady on fire. i wept. show is FJSDLKGJSDFJ GOD DONT LOOK AT ME BUT SUPERNATURAL i watch it with my dad and we started a rewatch, in season three now and its jflsdkhgldsfj its still good i wont lie please nobody make eye contact with me. i also have a spn au with my cousland sisters and eventually im going to post about that fjlskdgjslkfjdslkgjdslkghxclkgjlsdkglkfjklxghdlkgjlk

10. INSPIRATION: ohhhh music always. always always it helps so much with figuring out What Having OCs Means... Who They Are... and i love the motif potential

11. STORY BEHIND THE URL: oh literally my first hawke was a doctor. i was so afraid to fight that my gf built him for me and made him a mage healer who just buffs everyone... now that i have six hawkes hes literally perfect for that hes their support mage and nyx is their damage mage. i will always have a special place in my heart for steve he romanced anders and theyre in doctor love together. isabela hated him because he was such a goody goody and it broke my heart because i wanted to be friends with her so bad (dw every other hawke in my little family gets along famously with her fjlsdkgdslkfj)

tagging @merrybandofmurderers @magebastard @jowanmancer @fenrismissingeyebrows also there are like a million people i would tag but ive already seen answer them so everyone just take these vibes: <3333333

[shortnotsweet]

Hello, your fiveya pride and prejuice had me on my knees. Everything you have writing for the umbrella academy is so nice, this fandom should be thankfull you are here making gold content. I'm not very creative and I still dont know which kind of prompts you would like, but the last au gave me some Elizabeth Swan vibes, so maybe you could do a Fiveya Pirates of the Caribbean Au? Whatever you make I'm sure will be wonderfull :)

It’s 1732, and Governor Reginald Hargreeves and his two adopted daughters, accompanied by the family butler, Pogo, are sailing to Port Royal aboard HMS Crown when they come across a shipwreck. The lone survivor of the tragedy is a young boy, shaking and shell-shocked. A sympathetic Pogo begs Reginald to allow him to take him in - Pogo himself will rear and provide for the child out of his own wages.

Vanya clutches the railing and looks out into the wreckage, into jagged mountains of burning wood obscured by ink black plumes of smoke that cast a ghostly silhouette against the dreary sky and the great gray sea, and can’t take her eyes off of it. It’s a tragedy, with glowing embers peeking through the remains of the ship, keeping it alive and drowning in the water, and Vanya is fascinated.

I do not want to know what transpired here, she thinks. She doesn’t need to know, anyway - it looks like a wasteland, like something writhing and nearly dead, and then her father takes her by the shoulders and pulls her away.

The boy is raised in a fine household, alongside Reginald’s two young daughters, both of whom are handsome, intelligent, and composed. His truest and most constant friend, though, is Vanya.

The Boy starts out as a Will Turner of sorts, only more confident and living in relative comfort, except with the knowledge that he is an outsider even among orphans, and a survivor of something terrible. He longs to go back.

By 1742, the boy is merely fifteen and already deemed an academic prodigy in a vast array of scientific, mathematical, mechanical and historical studies.

By the end of 1742, he’s gone, vanished into the night and headed for the sea. Vanya, not for the first time in her life, is alone.

Years later, she’s grown into a beautiful yet confined woman. During a botched proposal, Vanya faints, due to a combination of heat, anxiety, and a too-tight corset, plummeting into the harbor below, only to be rescued by a mysterious man

Surprise y’all guess who it is

Five and his crew are under a curse that renders them undead corpses under the moonlight, burdened with immortality. Idk why he’s cursed, ig he just got up to a lot of pirate shit lmao. The gold of his father’s pocket watch is key to breaking this curse, and he’s returned to Port Royal after all these years to retrieve it, after he gave it to Vanya for safekeeping the day before he abandoned the Hargreeves household to rejoin the life of piracy

She agrees, of course, but he is soon confronted by both Reginald and Leonard, backed by the Navy, on account of 1) being a pirate and 2) trespassing and in order to safely escape he takes Vanya hostage

In his time away, Five has become captain of the dreaded Academy, the ship that his own father used to command before the wreck. Vanya initially disapproves of his life choices because he may be older now and like damn ok, but 1) hygiene 2) the ethical ambiguity of piracy and 3) you left me dude without warning ,, tf is up with that?

Cue childhood friends reconnecting in really awkward circumstances + maybe Stockholm syndrome

Luther, Ben, Klaus, and Diego are members of his crew. While Diego is a fantastic swordsman, Ben has a connection with sea monsters that allows him to dissuade nearby creatures from bothering their ship. Klaus is a mystic they picked up along the coast who can communicate with the dead - it’s through him that they learn the specifics of the curse.

Five glances down at her, sleeves rolled above his forearms, his hair dripping saltwater over his brow. “The Romans did it, didn’t they?” Honor among thieves is how the saying goes. “They encouraged it, actually, especially in children. Stealing. Steal from your enemies, steal from your neighbors, steal from your friends.”

At this, Vanya’s eyes narrow. “I wouldn’t steal from my friends.”

Five shrugs.

“It builds character,” he says, “and it builds world skills. If you’re a thief, then you’re fast, resourceful, and, most importantly, you’re still alive. That’s helpful. It can be a good thing, to be a thief.”

“The greatest empire of all time, after Britain, just a whole lot of thieves?”

“That’s Rome, then, a bunch of thieves. The empire essentially stole its own foundation from other civilizations, you know? Arches and aqueducts and art - even the Republic was based on direct democracy.” He leans back and looks at her from under his lids. The floor below them shifts and sways along with the rhythm of the sea, and Vanya leans against the mast to keep her horizon line steady.

“So you’re a history buff now?”

“I always have been,” Five says defensively. “Math is just more exciting. You don’t need to get caught up with the Romans anyway,” Five laughs. “We’re pirates.”

“I suppose I need to find a way to make myself useful, then?” Vanya crosses her arms, squinting under the white hot sun. “Be helpful.” Do as the Romans do.

“No, of course not,” Five says quickly, uneasy, bitter. “You didn’t join the crew, remember? You were kidnapped.”

Days into her kidnapping on the high seas, Vanya ditched her heavy ass dress for a practical pair of trousers and tied her hair up. The sun smiles down on them in a thousand yard stare, reflecting white off the crests of the waves that jostle the ship further away from land, and her white skin has already shown signs of browning. She can breathe, though, better and easier than she’s ever breathed in her entire life

The ocean never ends, but Vanya can see something flickering on the horizon, something that looms across the skyline and drags the sky down to meet it. It feels like hope, like dreams once dashed in her girlhood, and now that it has come out of hiding, unclothed and unabashed under an impossible white sun, Vanya can’t stop looking.

The Academy is still being pursued by the Royal Navy, and Five can’t just return Vanya bc they're not only on the run but they’ve got shit to do, aka curse-breaking shit. Plus, he really, really doesn’t want to

And deep down he can tell that she doesn’t want to either

“But you like it here, don’t you,” he accuses her, hard and fast because he knows she’ll be honest, and the strategist in him wants to size the queen, wants to take her home. “You were miserable back there,” Five reminds her, his own eagerness a tangible thing to his ears. “Reginald made you miserable. Jenkins made you miserable, hell, even Allison made you miserable.” Vanya’s gaze remains unblinking, but the corner of her mouth twitches ever so slightly, her lower lip dragging it down. The sight of it gives him pause, and he wants to stop for a moment, wants to apologize for it, but the conqueror in him leers in approval and he’s plowed too forward, too far already. “You wanted to leave, every second of every day. That’s what you told me,” Five reaches forward to take her by the shoulders, gently crowding her against the railing, and she looks up and into his face, dwarfed by his height. “You’re free now, you’re here. Reginald can’t get to you. Why would you want to go back?”

You’re free now. There’s nothing for you there, he tries to say, and she must get this, because her eyes go alight, just for a second, and her lip curls into a snarl.

The thing is, she’s much happier here, with Five and his crew and a great, endless sea, but she remembers Allison all too vividly, remembers that she left her alone without warning. Vanya knows that it’s like to be left behind, and the thought of Allison alone with only their father for company strikes something hollow and sinking into her chest, something like dread

“I don’t want to go back,” she snaps, harsher than he expected, and he lets go of her. “Of course I don’t.”

You think I want to go back to corsets and Reginald’s voice in every hallway of that old, evil house, and Leonard crowding me everywhere, acting like I’ve already said yes, and this stench of absence that follows me wherever I go.

Oh, she realizes, of course he doesn’t.

“Then don’t.”

Vanya glares at him, hard and herself, and he can see the betrayal sink into her face and settle like silt at the bottom of a glass.

“It’s because we’re family,” she says, and the fifteen-year-old in Five finds himself enraged because Vanya’s family is supposed to be here, with him.

“I need to see her again,” Vanya enunciates carefully, forming every word with a nervous kind of fear, like she thinks he won’t understand, and Five’s anger dissipates almost as quickly as it had risen.

They’re going to break that curse, and Five will be a real boy (man) again. Allison won’t be alone, because her sister will come back for her (just as Five came back for Vanya). They’ll all have real, red, beating hearts, and Five will have Vanya for himself and Vanya will have one thing all her own - she has an entire ocean to conquer and no regrets

For once, Vanya has a choice, and it’s a pirate's life for her

[dbphantom]

BACKSTORIES BACKSTORIES BACKSTORIES BACKS-

Amara layers on the bravado and 'wants a bigger fight' shit not just because she's confident but also because she feels bad about leaving Partali since she was basically the only thing protecting her friends/family there, but she believes if she succeeds at Vault Hunting that she'll be able to bring the wealth back and help the community in a bigger way than just punching bad guys. Its sort of a 'I'm incredibly strong physically, but clearly not enough because I can't even help with this simple little problem' situation.

- the art book confirmed Amara is wearing a vial of water from Partali around her neck- I like to imagine the city has some significant statue/fountain with water in/around it that she finds comforting/inspiring

- Amara got her Siren powers in grade school during a schoolyard fight (she won, obviously)

- Amara's family has been threatened more times than she can count. She's always ready and has defended them before but sometimes she worries, especially now that she's not there. She spends a lot of her free time getting in touch with them. I like to imagine she has kid brothers who look up to her. She gives me an older sister vibe, I dunno.

- Amara is lowkey glad her fame hasn't followed her to Pandora/beyond because she was getting tired of interrupting her fights to take selfies and sign posters. She stills likes seeing just how far her name has traveled tho. Is a good confidence buff.

- Amara is sorta like Axton with her bravado. She also believes she's the 'main character' of the four Vault Hunters. It makes her a very good leader, but it can get slightly overwhelming.

Moze runs away from the Vladof army and 'abandons' (they think she's dead) her responsibilities to live her life and do what she wants with IB and also lives with the crushing (ha! Oh no.) knowledge that her poor leadership skills are what killed the squad she had just become captain of and definitely was not the Vladof corporation trying to keep their IB mechs from leaving circulation. Definitely not. She gravitates to Amara because Amara is pretty much the group leader and a v good one at that, and Moze likes that Amara is a lot of things she isn't. Also nice arms. She needs the money from Vault Hunting to support her free lifestyle cuz she doesn't want to work.

- Moze will cook and eat literally anything. Her family grew up poor so her palette is pretty much open to anything at least twice. She sent the money she got working in the military back home to them. When she fakes her death she contemplates moving back but she knows they'd spend money they don't have to make her stay with them so she watches from afar, mailing them her most expensive loot anonymously to make sure they'll be okay

- Moze really enjoyed video games as a kid, like the free ECHOnet ones where you played against other people. She ends up joining the Vladof military a) for money and b) because she doesn't have a viable career path after playing video games all of her youth

- Moze is a really good liar. She can make up anything on the spot and get away with it. On a totally unrelated note, Moze was a little delinquent as a kid. Smoking (-> bubblegum to break the habit?), underage drinking. Wasn't doing anything bad, just breaking laws she thought were dumb- passive anarchy. She fit in great at Vladof.

- Moze is super protective of the other VHs, to the point she's willing to self-sacrifice to ensure they survive even the smallest squabble. Amara is always like 'no wtf stop'. But Moze still tries anyway, in spite of the group's blood pressure. Which I guess maybe she ought to be taking into consideration.

Fl4k slowly gains sentience over time and begins to realize they despise their job despite being programmed to enjoy it (their hardware had begun to malfunction as the biologist researchers were using them long after their expiry date- so replacing bits with more modern parts led to some unintended interactions. they were found in an abandoned factory on the planet that was so dilapidated/overgrown nobody knows which megacorporation it belonged to). They were working on a species preservation planet, basically a giant safari/zoo planet where a bunch of species were brought to ensure they didn't go fully extinct because the borderworlds are crazy. The planet has lots of history books to see how the animals were meant to behave/look/be cared for and it's how Fl4k gained their affinity for animals. Long story short, during a walk in the jungle where they contemplated their newly-gained sentience, Fl4k met what is essentially the personification of death (not the grim reaper- he's different, like uhhhh the Raven Queen and Kravitz from TAZ- literally death itself) watching them nurse a dying spiderant back to health and they became obsessed with The Hunt (TM) in order to win her affections (and also pay back their debt to her for keeping a soul from coming her way because Fl4k gaining sentience wasn't supposed to happen, so that spiderant is off schedule but whatever mannnn).

-Fl4k is the best healer on the team because they know so much about biology due to the hours of reciting scrolls and sorting books they had to do. They also have a lot of obscure, random history knowledge

-Fl4k can eat, they have taste receptors (given they know greeble snot is mild), they just prefer not to because it is inefficient and not worth anything to them. I'm also not sure how yet.

- Fl4k was allowed to choose three more animals out of the thousands dying on their home planet the day they met death and nurse them back to health in order to have four companions join them on the hunt. Because. Idk. Sounds cool to me. They chose a jabber, a skag, and a rakk hive. Death didn't vibe with the rakk hive, so she gifted Fl4k the ability to summon a couple rakk instead, just like the hive.

- Death doesn't want the Destroyer getting loose because that's a lot of paperwork ahead of schedule, and Fl4k is more than happy to oblige and go on the greatest hunt to stop it. Death gifts them with some powers (gamma burst, rakk summoning) to help them on their mission. Also just to keep things tidy Fl4k is unaware of their end goal until it's mentioned in the story. All they know is that Death wanted them to become a Vault Hunter and go to Pandora to go on The Hunt (TM).

- Fl4k can be fairly bossy/commanding and does tend to tell the other VHs what they should do like they are part of The Pack. They had tried to take the leadership role in the beginning, but it did not work and Amara naturally fell into that position. They're still commanding, but the others take those more as general suggestions now and everything works fine.

And you already know Zane's, is pretty much just: 'How to Develop Trust Issues: the 7th edition (Written by the LGBT+ Community, Anotated by Cryptids)'. He gave it to Zer0 once during a full moon and he's 90% sure it was used for assassination practice. He gave it to Hammerlock next because at least Hammylock can treat a book right, you fucking heathen.

[chaosflight]

nightmare log 1

okay so i’m going to start logging these fucking nightmares

tw: violence mention ghost mention blood mention death mention

from what i can remember, it started off like any of the other bizarre dreams i’ve had this past week and a half, kinda hazy and kinda trying to tell a story, but mostly in a way that was all supposed to be subtext if it were a film.  it’s divided kinda into five parts, the first being the longest

the first part was the most coherent. it was almost like it was based off my favorite older film, the ghost and mrs. muir, where there was a lady who was alive and a fella who was not, except it was a trick.  they were both dead, ghosts to each other, repeating their lives over and over with these sorts of hints at each other.  the actual dream (i guess all that information was subtext) starts as she’s seeking him out in all the places she’s met him.  i guess that those things are always consistent? and their memories of each other always remain, no matter how many times they relive their already over lives.  she looks for him in her room, by the treeline, in the garden, and lastly by the fire pit.  

the first time she does this, she only sees charcoal sketchy shadows of him, and can’t interact.  the second time, she does interact with him, but something is changed, somehow.  she spoke to him, but he didn’t interact with her at all, like he was ignoring her.  She saw him from her bedroom in the fire pit, and went out to meet him since he wasn’t in the room, but he ran away from her by the trees, and in the garden, he was entertaining guests and couldn’t respond in his timeline.  so she had this small soliloquy that was supposed to be for him, about how she loves him so much, “like the wood in this pit, i want to be consumed.  but then the fire sets in, and the burns are too great” and then one more line, but she cut out.  i couldn’t hear her, because somehow she was now a charchoal ghost too, and we were at the fire pit instead of the garden, and she burned up and disappeared.  

then it flips over to him being the one ‘alive’, and he sees her from his bedroom by the fire, chases her immediately down to the garden, where the party is going, but all his guests are half ghosty and half there, so he ignores them.  She asks him to follow, i think? and then suddenly they’re at the fire pit, and she’s a charcoal ghost burning in long forgotten embers, and the guy hears her message, but again the only thing i can hear is those two lines, and then she’s cut off.  but, instead of disappearing, he steps into the fire with her, and says something like, ‘let us burn together, then’, and then they both become ghosts squared??? it’s implied that they died, again, or that perhaps their actual deaths were suicide by ghost or something.  

they turn into human outlines, holding eac h other’s hands, neither one in any way distinguishable from the other, and fly away down a street.  this is the end of part one.

the dream then takes a wild turn into some kinda commentary on goofy?  where goofy and his son are ghosts, and he’s kinda teaching his son about his history, but idk enough about it for it to be a factually realistic dream, so it very quickly veers into the third part:

we’re in our garage and we somehow had to fight for the legal ownership of the content of our garage?  like our stuff had all been there so long that the government somehow was allowed to possess it.  it’s worth noting that while the garage is implied to be the same one as the house we live in now, it starts out as actually the SIZE of the house in the dream.  there’s a lot of shit in there.  it’s also implied that i’m closer to my thirties, maybe even exactly ten years older, and it’s been a hot second since we’ve seen any of this stuff and it’s apparently really important.  

anyway, we’ve got literal construction equipment in the garage (bc it’s grown) to pull our shit down from these massive piles they’ve developed into, and as we move things we start discovering stuff, and this part goes pretty par for the course as far as growing architecture and mountains of petty trash being sorted can go.  

we’re halfway through when we discover my section.  there’s tvs and cameras.  oh my god, so many cameras.  i take so long reminiscing over them all that the rest of my family goes to lunch, i guess?  i’m alone, anyway, and the garage is somehow smaller again, but still pretty fucking huge.  There’s this one.  this one camera, that seems important, but i can’t remember how, but i want to go show mom and dad this particular one, maybe bc it’s the first? my first video camera? and as i’m walking back to show them, be all like ‘hey lookit this fucking relic lol’ i’m looking at the memory.  there’s nothing on it, which is weird bc i never delete  shit.  that’s a real life thing, i just do not delete things.  so i figured, hey, maybe it’s broken, so i open it up, turn the camera and the view finder around so i can selfie but see myself, and FUCKING SLENDERMAN IS IN MY CAMERA

i turn around, and he’s right there.  i fucking bolt.  he was putting out some FUCK OFF vibes.  i’m running further into the garage though, instead of into the house like i wanted in the first place, and that’s where it changes again?

this fourth part features a co-worker of mine, who i like to call mike wazowski, bc his first name is mike.  and it’s like a goddamn rick and morty scenario, where i’m morty and he’s rick, and we’re being brought before an alternate universe xenomorph queen that’s being held captive/protected by some unnamed government agency.  except the queen is male?  somehow thats important, except it’s literally never important again.  anyway, he’s enormous.  imagine the scale of a regular xenomorph to a standard queen, and that’s the scale of a regular queen to this AU queen.  he’s big. 

we’re in handcuffs, and i’m kind of unresponsive.  my mind is not in my bod.  i watch the whole sequence from very far away in this big white room where it’s all taking place.  the people who’ve got us captured/escorting us present the queen with another xenomorph, .  wait, no, there was a big buff angry lady first, who was yelling at us for upsetting the queen, and then pompously strode forward to apologize for this awful thing we did, and he fucking killed her and ate her.  he used one giant gross finger to impale her and then he ate her. it was horrifiying, even from my fortunate distance.  

THEN the rest of the guys present the queen with another xenomorph, which he then similarly eats, although more like a spider eats stuff.  he shot out his secondary mouth, and it clamped onto the other xeno’s back, and it shrivelled up and.  yeah.  while he’s doing that, he’s telepathically scolding us for ‘dealing with such a blight’.  and mike’s like ‘yeah, great going christina’, even though i’m fuckin catatonic.  i think he knew i could still hear him?? idk.  

the queen then continues to explain that we’ve opened some something, and that this Greatere Monster is now going to do it’s very best to fucking wreck our whole dimension, which apparently includes several universes?  i’m not sure that’s how string theory works but queeny mcmurder seemed pretty fucking sure. and then the dream switches.

this is part five.  it’s the worst, for me, personally.  

it starts with what’s obviously a recording, but i’m viewing it like I AM the camera, but i’m also IN the recording.  and me and these people are walking around a little kids playground.  everything is normal except this one installation.  it’s a big, pointy, metal mess of barely recognizable imagery.  it’s like if slendy and a xeno had a baby, and it’s skeleton was shifting through three different planes and someone took a photo and then lovingly rendered it in cast iron for all to play with.  

it was so weird.  it was so alive, even as a statue.  i walked through it, around it, we all did, and it was so eerie.  it was a thing that Should Not Exist.  it seemed like it could come alive at any moment and just.  destroy everything. 

and then suddenly i wasn’t in the recording, and i wasn’t a camera anymore, and i was. trapped.  inside it’s body.  the same skeletal, misshapen metal abomination was holding me, gently, but also not at all.  like it didn’t want to break me, but it would not let me leave.  i cried, so much.  i’d been there so long.  there was no light, only touch, and the only thing there was to touch was horror itself.  i wasn’t on earth, or in space, and space didn’t seem to matter.  neither did time, except that it just kept happening, the same insufferable moment happening forever, like a scream that never dies.  

the thing spoke to me.  it’s voice was impossible to describe.  it was grating like tin or steel, but it was also soft and smooth, whispery.  it seemed to be deafening, but it was also like a sigh.  i felt so many mouths against my face and shoulders as it spoke to me.  not all of them were human or even animalistic as anything i could name on earth.  i got impressions of what it was trying to tell me, but i didn’t know exactly what it wanted, except for me to stay there, forever in that impossible moment.  

sometimes there would be these.. animals? that would come near, when the thing slept.  it turned back into metal, and i was trapped in it’s frozen body, trying to wiggle out.  they were like rabbits, kind of hunched over and they moved haltingly.  they talked, and i could tell what they were saying.  they whispered, so jealously, ‘you’re living our dream’ over and over, ‘what you’re experiencing would be paradise to us!’ and then they would bite at my fingers and make them bleed, but the damage never lasted, i always healed from whatever they did to me, only the THING could really hurt me.  

and if it woke up when they were there, it would tear them apart, and i’d get drenched in their blood and their screams would get trapped in my head.  they were so happy to die by this awful thing that wouldn’t let me go.  

towards the end of the dream, what really felt like decades of being in that unseeing place, i was trying to hold together some hope i’d get out, and i remembered.  i remembered i love to sing, and that i always believed that singing could scare away wicked things, or at least make me feel better.  so, still bawling because i was so fucking terrified, i tried to sing.

and then i woke up.  not all the way.  but i was definitely away that i was in my bed, and so, so stiff.  like i hadn’t moved all night.  one leg under the cover, one leg out, and face down in the pillow, just like i like it.  i mentally recapped everything that happened in the dream to the best of my ability, and i feel like i’ve got an accurate summation of everything.  it doesn’t capture the feelings, though. the ghost story was wistful and sad, the goofy bit was supposed to be a continuation of that sense of.. losing out on something, the garage part was the spooky preamble to the paralyzingly terrifying fifth part, and the fourth part was... just really ominous.

the weirdest part to me is how stiff i am all over, but i somehow managed to get my leg out of my enormous comforter, and how my hair is super fucked up, even though, again, i was incredibly still all night.  i’m probably just scaring myself at this point, but it did freak me out.

so some real life things to mention: i’ve been asking for a video camera for christmas bc i want to start a video diary, and my phone is just.  unreliable.  

mike is usually a pretty snarky guy, and we closed the store together last night, so that’s probably why he made an appearance.

i stayed up super late last night recording stuff, and it was super dark and super quiet by then, so i was kind of freaking myself out before i went to bed anyway.

i did not have any wine or sleep aid last night, so my parents telling me it’s one or both of those things, HA!! i also didn’t eat anything when i came home, so it’s not that either.

i love slender man stories and the aliens franchise a lot, but i’ve never really been super scared of them before.

okay, that’s it.