#(they probably aren't as healed as we like and the whole 'play through the pain' is still rampant especially during playoffs but still)

[carnagechicken]

I think the reason I knew I'd become a Kraken fan eventually (besides the name and how beautiful the jerseys are) is because they're so new and thus the team culture wasn't solidified way back in the 60s. It's still a hockey team, so it's not perfect, but instead of a "yeah this is who we are" that got started in 1962, with 1962 ways of thinking, they're getting their "this is who we are" solidified now. A time in history much kinder to people like me. Again, I'm not saying the Kraken are perfect and can do no wrong and won't ever disappoint us with their behaviour, that's impossible, and it's a pedestal no person or organization should ever be on. But think about what we have in Coach Jess! Obviously you can (and should) say that's it's ridiculous that it's 2024 and we only now have the first woman behind an NHL bench but. She's here. She's finally here. And the players respect her and listen to her and like her. And that's no small thing.

Anyway, I just suddenly had Big Feelings about the Kraken and so I'm probably not making much sense but if I can't ramble on this website what's my account for, y'know?

[baeddel]

because i'm playing Bloodborne i can't just write down my thoughts on my computer without getting up to change the HDMI cable around, so i've been taking notes on paper. like a neanderthal. so far my page goes like this:

Flaubert—St. Anthony—'who sees' cannot be St. Anthony in Neb.'s city—but Anthony is 'focalizing' still?

Bloodborne—Gilbert—we misremembered—thinks he can 'die human', already sick—seems important lost use of legs! the scourge!

Symbols—repeating in a bicameral way, w/out knowing their importance—of flowers, virgins cf. Uzumaki

to expand in order:

Gerard Genette proposes the concept of 'focalization' to deal with the fact that 'who speaks?' and 'who sees?' is often different, in a way that isn't captured by the term 'point of view.' basically, we can see through the eyes of a particular character within the story even when they aren't narrating in first person; we understand that the narrator is still conveying their interpretation.

well, throughout Flaubert's Temptation of St. Anthony we are obviously getting St. Anthony's interpretation. in fact, most of the time St. Anthony is also the one speaking. when he isn't speaking we get a lot of explicit descriptions of his reactions to the things just described.

Then many things appear which he has never seen before—black hashes, jellies, the color of gold, ragouts in which mushrooms float like nenuphars upon ponds, dishes of whipt cream light as clouds.

And the aroma of all this comes to him together with the salt smell of the ocean, the coolness of mountains, the great perfumes of the woods. He dilates his nostrils to their fullest extent; his mouth waters; he thinks to himself that he has enough before him for a year, for ten years, for his whole life!

this keeps going as he passed through temptations which strain ordinary perception:

He beholds at one glance, the two ports (the Great Port and the Eunostus), both round as circuses

later there is a long sequence where St. Anthony wanders through a enormous palace belonging to Nebuchadnezzar and encounters fabulously gory scenes:

On the pavement below crawl the captive kings whose hands and feet have been cut off; from time to time he flings them bones to gnaw. Further off sit his brothers, with bandages across their eyes, being all blind.

eventually this elevates to descriptions of the entire city, the entirety of which St. Anthony cannot possibly be the observer:

From the depths of the ergastula arise moans of ceaseless pain. Sweet slow sounds of a hydraulic organ alternate with choruses of song; and one feels that all about the palace without extends an immeasurable city—an ocean of human life whose waves break against the walls.

actually, it occurs to me that Flaubert—or is it Lafcadio Hearn, the translator?—does insure against this boiling over of the perspective, confining the description to what 'one feels' would be true about the entire palace, as though you could guess something like that. later on, the return to St. Anthony's person is called out to help us stick the landing:

Anthony, from afar off, reads all these thoughts upon his brow.

i have nothing to say about it really, just an interesting use of narration.

on the second point, a minor correction to my big post; the player is actually misled about what illness Gilbert has. Gilbert does have the beast plague—we know that because he turns into a beast later. but he explicitly says he doesn't have it: "I can even die human." he says this because he believes that "their [Yharnam's] blood bought me time." he obviously came to Yharnam to seek blood healing from the Healing Church for whatever illness he had, and he thinks it worked. it didn't work; it gave him the scourge and its about to kill him just like it did everyone else in Yharnam. on the second playthrough we can understand the tragic irony in this line of Gilbert's, which on the first playthrough is a red herring.

Gilbert is the only character with a cough that i can remember, so that's probably his original illness. tuberculosis, why not? his other symptoms are side effects of the Healing Church's blood ministration, i believe. he can no longer use his legs. he blames his TB for this, as if to say 'thats how bad it's gotten now', but this is a widespread problem in Yharnam and appears to be an iatrogenic effect of blood ministration.

Gilbert's misunderstanding of his own condition reminds me a lot of Terrare. when Terrare was dying he got in touch with his old doctor and confessed to him that once upon a time, a long time ago, he swallowed a little golden spoon, and he believed that it was now stuck in his intestine and was killing him. it only made sense to him that he would die because of something unusual he ate, since his unusual eating defined his life so much. when they performed an autopsy on him they did indeed find the little golden spoon he talked about. but that's not why he died—he died of TB, like everyone else.

on the last point, there are repeating motifs in Bloodborne. some of these are: small white flowers, blind or veiled female figures, the spade (as in playing cards), perforation. there are lots more than that. these reoccur all over the place: statues, gravestones, architecture, the design on the reverse side of a wheelchair, and so forth. they also have cosmological importance; kin grow out of small white flowers ('lumenflowers') and flowers also have some relationship with the Great One named Flora, blindness is generally important in Bloodborne, from scourge symptoms (bandaged eyes) to blindness or blindfolding promoting higher forms of knowledge (Byrgenworth & the Choir both use it), and women are obviously important to Great Ones for their fecundity. the Spade i don't totally understand, but it represents Communion in the Choir cosmology. finally, perforation is seen on the Amygdala head and on some important otherworldly objects.

regular Yharnamites producing secular textiles cannot possibly know all that stuff, since not even all factions within the Healing Church know about all of it. further, we encounter them with as much frequency in the Chalice Dungeons (ruins of 'classical' civilizations). the implication, to my mind, is that these symbols work a bit like Oedon, expressing themselves through the creative activities of mortals who are ignorant of their origin and significance. they repeat the lexemes of the cosmic language over and over, never learning their true meaning. that's why it reminded me of Uzumaki—people start to, for example, make spiral-patterned pottery, ignorant of their role in the cosmic drama of The Spiral and its will.

it occurs to me that this implies a concurrentist or at least occasionalist theory of causation. Mr. Saito makes spiral pottery because he liked them, but Mr. Saito was also wholly and entirely making spiral pottery because The Spiral willed it. this is how many medieval Christians understood the relationship between God and Nature. i wonder if it has a parallel in Japanese thought?

[blackberrywars]

38, 41 (I’m always cruising for fic recs!) 42 & 48 ❤️

Thank you so much for playing!!! I appreciate the asks, and apologize for the amount of shit I about to write. I messaged you about losing this draft, but apparently tumblr just sent it to the bottom of my draft pile, so here we go! Putting it under a cut, because I went so overboard.

38: Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

Alright, so this one is a little complicated. On the one hand, my most popular fic by far is Flint And Steel, but while the numbers definitely shocked me the most, it didn't surprise me. Most of my stuff is of side-pairings and f/f stuff, which isn't as popular in this fandom, so of course a fic with the big three of Jaskier, Geralt, and Yennefer is gonna get more traction in the form of shares and comments. The ones that surprised me though? The first two installments of my lady laiden smut series, Sweeter Than Pride and Collars of Many Kinds. Those two got awesome comments and bookmarks from people I didn't even recognize. And the sheer number of hits on them means there's definitely people re-visiting them, which is the highest kind of flattery on my smut fic.

41: Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

I refuse to choose only one, so buckle up, you're getting six. Also, to everyone I @'d, I hope you don't mind, I can remove it if you prefer.

I Am Bound To You (With A Tie I Cannot Break) by @on-a-lucky-tide. He did a fucking incredible job at conveying very complicated emotions in actions, and made me cry for entirely too long. I want to develop this skill so badly.

A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by @heronfem. If you ever want a masterclass in translating characterization to a modern au, this is IT. It's a massive Laiden-centered project with the whole found family along for the ride, and they handle the large cast beautifully. I've never really done a modern AU, but if I do and it's half this good, I'll be thankful.

Lives in Legacy by @tantumuna. This fic is is not only long enough to make me pass out in envy, every word counts. It explores a truly dark omegaverse with Eskel and Geralt, and there aren't words to describe it. I felt truly indescribable amounts of pain while reading this, even during the healing, and I'm so glad to have done it.

Snow and Dirty Rain by ajfanfic. It's a lovely little series of 70s lesbians Geralt and Jaskier living through that era as queer women and adopting butch lesbian Ciri. It's just a wonderful, well-researched AU, and I want to emulate that kind of grounded world.

Worthy of the Honey-Comb by @castillon02. It's a portrait of Vesemir coming to terms with Kaer Morhen's destruction and having to step up for the remaining wolves and form a new image of what it means to be a wolf witcher. Combines flashback and present moment so well it makes me ache.

Ballads by @linearao3. This is not a witcher fic like the rest, but it is one of the best examples of synthesizing omegaverse into a book's canon. This made me feel so many things, and again, all the details and worldbuilding just make it spectacular.

42: Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

My dear @hellinglasses has become a dear friend and has always been a wonderful cheerleader. Ever since the day she sent 9 comments on all my fics to my dry-as-the-desert inbox. Her efforts have helped me write so much more than I thought I could, and while I love going back to re-read them all, this one om Calm Before The Storm is probably one of my favorites.

This comment by Ledgea will forever hold a place in my heart, because it was the first comment I ever received, on the first fic I ever wrote. They made it into an amazing comment thread, and it was just so encouraging to me as a first-time writer. (EDIT: I put the wrong comment by mistake, because i was trying to limit myself)

48: What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

According to my history, the last fic i (re-re-re-re-)read was Cock in the Henhouse by the wonderful @halehathnofury. It's a hilarious, filthy Geralt x Eskel anthology, and I have entirely too many feelings about it. Excellent for a night when you just need to feel good all over.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Okay so my playthrough clocked in at a little over 93 hours. Though probably a couple hours longer than that bc it took me 4 times to beat the Final Fight and there was also a couple of other optional boss encounters that kicked my ass lmao

BIG DA:O SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So fun fact: I fucked my playthrough up at like the 87 hour mark 😭💔 I tried to be a decent person and not kill Loghain and let him go through with the Joining. Did not expect that Allistaire would throw a WHOLE-ASS TANTRUM and ditch us for good right before the final fight 🤬

Like bro I GET why you were hurt and angry but also??? This is literally a war to save a zillion lives we needed all the help we could get. Loghain was gonna die anyway. You bitched at me EVERY OTHER TIME I killed somebody (ok Connor was an accident. But he bitched me out over Brother Genetivi when he was gonna reveal the ashes and everything?!?). Bro goes on and on about honor and helping ppl and the Grey Wardens and then he literally just DIPS before the biggest fight ever. I thought he was gonna come back at the end and help when he came to his senses but NAH. WE'RE STRAIGHT UP DIVORCED FOREVER HE DIDN'T COME BACK OR COME TO MY CEREMONY AFTER. I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN 😭💔💔💔💔 GLAD U LET UR HALF-SISTER DIE BITCH IM P SURE GOLDANNA'S HOUSE WAS RUBBLE IN BURNED-DOWN DENERIM. FUCK OFF YOU WHINY SELFISH PRICK I LOST SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU

Also Morrigan left that night too bc I wouldn't go with her fucked up demon baby plan lmao. Which I don't fault her for to be fair, I get she couldn't bear to see her only friend EVER die ☠️ I'm actually hype af for my future morally-awful playthru bc I will DEFINITELY be seeing that plan then lmao.

But yeah. MY CHARACTER GOT TO FINISH THE GAME AND GO THRU THE BIG FINALE FIGHT WITHOUT THE TWO BIGGEST SUPPORTERS THAT GOT HER THERE AND STARTED THE JOURNEY 😭😭😭 SHIT H U R T S

If I didn't have Leiliana and Meatball as my ride-or-dies my protag woulda been completely devastated for real like COME ON 😭💔 THANK GOD FOR HER BESTIE AND HER DOG THE REAL MVPS 😔🙏

Actually I was a little let down by the final fight. Like it was a cool concept and I enjoyed getting to play with the ballistas bc u keep seeing them in other parts of the game. But I basically had to play as Leiliana the whole time ajdkdjj. I built my character as a badass warrior with BUSTED strength and it was lowkey useless bc the final boss is out of range for 90% of the fight and I sold my crossbow to Sandal for more healing potions. Broooo 😭☠️💔

So yeah uh. SUPER awesome game I loved 90% of it (the combat on ps3 actually kills my hands bc of the constant L2 holding or tapping for radial menu and giving orders. SO PAINFUL please tell me they change this in the sequels it fucking HURTS). Fyi it actually was an interesting ending, I don't fault it and actually thematically it was cool to team up with Loghain for the last few hours, I'm just emotionally butthurt my whole imagined future with Allistaire went down the drain 😭💔 I love how many choices you get in this game tho and how they aren't always predictable. It's nice to not be able to 'game the system' for a 'perfect' ending as much as say, P5 or similar rpg/jrpgs lol. I like that you can fuck up REAL BAD with your companions lmao.

I have the other 2 games on ps3 waiting, fighting the urge to dive into 2 asap bc I want to digest Origins first but mmmm. I see why ppl went crazy for these. If I'd had these a decade ago I woulda replayed SO MANY times for real, this is what I wanted out of Skyrim story/companion-wise 🙏

[punkinspice]

Actually you know what I'm not done with these thoughts and I will go on.

Over the years I keep hearing how Shadow's writing and character has been absolutely obliterated, and yes, there have tons of inconsistencies and new writers with new interpretations and restrictions and as much as I love Boom, it did ultimately change a lot things, mostly for the bad unfortunately. (rip my heart) (And I also don't want to excuse bad the bad writing and laziness on part of writing and directing Shadow has been having in the mainline series, as for sure that plays a part in all of this too.)

That all being said, who's to say that after the timeline wipeout after 06, how much of it was reset? How far back did everyone have to go? How many of certain game events didn't happen because of it? How much of the development and growth that we saw Shadow go through in that game, get completely erased and reset?

With that in mind, and imo, we're seeing a Shadow who hasn't had that chance of healing in that way and is having to process and grieve in an entirely new way. This is a Shadow who hasn't been able to "put the past" behind him. And lets be real: as I stated above, Shadow literally had his brain messed with and had lies programmed into his brain. Shadow is someone who is legitimately recovering from actual brainwashing and reprogramming. He could very easily be compared to a cult survivor in that way, and trying to integrate into a new sense of self and identity that he's not even sure what or who he is. And as someone who is also in a process of healing and recovery from a lifetime of indoctrination, and was in a cult for a few years, I cannot even begin to tell you how complicated, painful and complex those feelings and realizations are. To constantly feel like you're being ripped in half because the Identity you once thought you embodied with you're whole being, is now crumbling before you as a fake shell of who you were told to be your whole life, while the actual authentic part of you who wants freedom and life, feels so utterly foreign and dangerous.

And then to constantly be around people, Sonic especially, who are able to simply embrace freedom and live their own lives open and honestly? Yeah, that has to be so grating and enraging because you wish it was that easy for you. But you can't explain why it's so enraging because you can't even begin to explain what you're going through, and it feels like everyone around you expects you to just be able to immediately move on from everything you've been through and for it all to roll off your shoulders.

Shadow is in a very intense grieving process and he probably doesn't even realize it. And Grief is Not. Linear.

He is angry. And he honestly has every right to be so.

You're also really not used to making choices for yourself. You've always been told you're whole life exactly Who and What you are and what you're meant to do. And now you're afraid of endangering those around you because you are uncertain of yourself and these intensely strong powers you have. Plus everyone you ever cared about before, was killed because of you.

So you self isolate.

At least those fighting voices in your mind aren't being over-whelmed with everyone else's opinions, and you're the Ultimate Lifeform! You're supposed to know how to fix these things and to Save the World! It's what you're meant to do! Of course the choices I am going to make will be the right ones! Doing things on my own, alone is the safest and only way to get things done! Isn't it?

AND THEN TO TOP IT ALL OFF SHADOW IS A LITERAL CHILD?? A TEENAGER?! He gets mistaken for Sonic, who is canonically 15/16 years old, so despite being "artificially" made, he obviously has to physically look around that age??? AND WHAT TEENAGER KNOWS WHO THEY ARE, MUCH LESS WITH THAT TYPE OF TRAUMA LOADED ON TOP OF IT ALL??? Also who knows how long he's actually been conscious? Just because he was meant to be "immortal" doesn't mean he didn't start out as a baby and was raised on the Ark alongside Maria, or maybe he was created after Maria's illness started manifesting worse? And Maria is like 12/13? There really is so much we don't know about it aside from theorizing, but reguardless.... Shadow is still very young. (And yes being frozen for 50s years doesn't mean he gained 50 years of experience; HE WAS FROZEN AND UNCONSCIOUS)

and THANK GOODNESS!!! He has friends and teammates who are also just as stubborn as he is and are always there for him to help pull him out of a spiral and to find him when he's self isolating.

Again, there's just so much there....... and sure is some of it projecting on my part? Probably. But what good is a Blorbo if you can't project at least something onto them? But that being said I really do think that there is an element to Shadow's character in this reguard that isn't ever really talked about, at least in a serious way that could be impacting his character in the ways that we've been seeing lately. His recovery from trauma. And I think that it could be a very interesting thing for us to dive into more.

Ok I feel like we don't often address the real tragedy of the ARK enough. This was a decades long government funded project where families lived. Where scientists were told that this was a safe place to come and figure out how to better humanity. Shadow himself was ultimately created to be a cure for disease and possibly immortality. To help bring hope to Earth!

There's also a high chance that GUN had secretly assigned certain scientists, Gerald included, to make the Ultimate Lifeform or rather the Ultimate Weapon because yeah sure, fear of the Black Arms for when they invade, but also probably more to control humanity if needed.

The invasion of the ARK is horrible in that everyone on that spaceship was executed, minus the small handful of survivors, but honestly to me, watching Maria die in front of him isn't the most tragic part about Shadow's experience. Who knows how long it was before he was captured by GUN after Maria sent him down to Earth. Maybe a few hours? maybe a day or two tops?

Shadow was captured by those who wanted him made, experimented on him against his will, Gerald snapped and messed with his brain and altered his memories to the point of becoming that Ultimate Weapon and exacting someone else's revenge on humanity. and then GUN called it all off, executed Gerald, and now without having a way to dispose of Shadow, locked him away in cryo-sleep for 50 years. (but they also kept him as a fail safe to be the Ultimate Weapon when needed)

When Shadow is awakened by Eggman, these things are still very fresh on his mind. To him this has all happened to him like it was yesterday. He didn't have the time or space to process all that had actually happened to him and it more than explains the actions he was doing the whole of SA2. And considering everything that he was going through, the fact that he was able to forgive at the end and undo and overcome the wrong he began to instigate in the first place? It really speaks to the true character of Shadow.

And honestly I could go on on how the rest of the series and Shadow's character arcs have been on his grieving process and that yeah, you do have a lot of set backs and there's probably still so much of that old programming and memories that Gerald messed with that I think he's still trying to sort out how much of it was true or not.

There's just.... so much there...

[kiridarling]

"𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐒."

izuku midoriya | friends older brother!izuku + college student!reader + f!reader + squirting + size kink + more! minors dni! does this count? as dark content?

— 2.4k words

"It's simple: I'll stuff you full with two fingers, but they only do what simon says. Understand?"

“[Y/N?]”

“Uh, hey Izuku!” You smile, grip tightening around the strap to your bag. Izuku fills the doorway, broad shoulders kissing both sides of the frame, and you can’t help but feel minuscule in comparison. “Kota around?”

Izuku shakes his head, peering over his shoulder for a second before returning his attention to you with a click of his tongue. "Uh, no I think he's out with Eri. They should be back soon though...it's been a few hours."

"Shit," you curse under your breath. Your friend's older brother smiles in apology, biceps straining under his white tee.

"You need something?"

"Yeah," you nod, forcing your eyes back onto his, instead of the broad chest presented at eye-level. "Just my precalc book."

Izuku waits a second, thinking, before his palm claps against the doorframe and he's walking deeper into the house. "Come on in, then! I'm sure he won't mind."

You step into the house after him, and it's...weird. Weird being with your Kota's older brother without Kota there, because despite the thousands of times you've been in your best friend's house and as well as you know the greenette, you and Izuku have never been alone.

"Find it?"

You've been rummaging through Kota's room for a solid ten minutes and somehow still empty-handed, moving slowly in fear you'll see something you can't unsee. And hey, with Kota and Eri dating, anything's possible.

"No," you sigh, ready to give up rather than find a strap-on. "It's fine. I can just come to get it tomorrow or something."

"How soon do you need it?" The greenette asks, his forearms leaning against his younger brother's dresser. You take a seat on Kota's comforter instead, silently hoping you'll find your book by accidentally breaking your tailbone against the damn thing; you're a little disappointed when all your ass comes in contact with is a plush mattress.

"Like, tonight," you grieve, knowing that tomorrow morning, your math grade will suffer severely. "'S fine though. There's always another test."

Izuku snorts at that, crossing the room to take a seat next to you. The bed whines under his weight but doesn't collapse, and you feel a little bad to say you're surprised. Voice full of reminiscence, he sighs, "Ah, the college days."

You giggle, "You act like they're lightyears behind you."

"They might as well be," the greenette shrugs, before reaching behind your waist to steal a pillow. "Couldn't tell you a thing I learned."

You shrug trying to remember the last time you’ve felt prepared for a test, “Neither can I.”

Izuku chuckles and nods, though you’re convinced it’s because he has nothing to say. An awkward silence takes possession of the room by the neck, and you shift awkwardly, unsure of what to say that could give you an excuse to leave, or at least redirect his strange yet heavy gaze. As Izuku licks his lips, you notice how close you two actually are, as he's big to the point where your shoulders almost brush, but not quite.

"How um, hows your boyfriend?"

You scoff at that, but you suppose it's been a while since you and the greenette have talked one on one—and the last time you had, you weren't single.

"Oh uh, he's fine, I guess," you brush it off with a shrug and a wave, cringing at the thought of how that ended. "I don't know. We broke up a while ago, so."

"Oh sorry!" Izuku flushes and throws a hand over his mouth, and you giggle.

"You're fine. He was an asshole anyway," you chuck a laugh, but it's not really that funny. Frankly, he's left too many emotional scars to count, along with the ones healing from past exes. "I...don't have a good reputation when it comes to picking boyfriends."

“So, I’ve heard—no offense,” he says sheepishly, though you don't blame him. You've definitely had a few surprise visits caused by a nasty break-up or two, knowing this is the place you'll probably find both of your best friends hiding out. When Izuku speaks again, it’s borderline awkward as his eyes dart around the room, cheeks puffed and lips pursed in apprehension. “Found...anyone new?”

You frown, “Anyone new.”

“Yeah!” Izuku exclaims, and it’s almost encouraging. “Like a new boyfriend.”

“Oh,” you laugh, shaking your head. “Um, no. Like I said, I don’t have much luck with that type of stuff.”

Izuku snorts, rolling his eyes before he’s adjusting himself to lay on the pillow, half of his body upright. “I bet you do. You might not realize it, but you do.”

Now it’s your turn to snort and roll your eyes, leaning back on your hands with a huff. "You're just being nice, Izuku."

"No, seriously!" He props himself higher so you can see he really is serious, evergreen eyes locked and deadset, "Like—okay, and this might be a TMI or something, but how do they, y'know, and then be dicks, y'know?"

"They don't."

"They don't...what?"

"They don't...make me cum," you heave with great depression, despite the seemingly surface-level complaint. With wrists tightening around your ankles, you hate uncomfortably in the silence, and watch Izuku's mouth open and close, before it opens and closes again.

"Like...never?"

"No." You give him a weird look.

"But what about your last boyfriend? I thought he—"

"I don't know what you're looking for, Izuku," you chuckle, shaking your head. The greenette seems more pained than he is shocked, eyes wide with a big fat pout in place of a neutral face. "It's not like I haven't had an orgasm before. Just...not with someone else."

"That's not the same!" Izuku defends, slowly becoming more animated than you've ever seen him. "It's like...more passionate with another person, you know? And that makes everything a whole lot hotter."

"Thanks," you huff, mood souring more than it already has. Izuku's mouth stills once he realizes what he's essentially bragging, guilt clouding his face. As you exhale out of your nose, you can't escape feeling bad for snapping. "Look. I'm perfectly fine with being the only person to be able to make myself cum. It's not that deep."

"You sound like you expect no one to be able to," Izuku snorts with a raised eyebrow, shoulders bumping against yours. "You've just...had bad boyfriend luck. That doesn't mean no one's capable of doing it."

"Well," you click your tongue bitterly, because you've heard all of this before, and you're utterly tired of hearing it. "They've been able to make all their exes orgasm. And it's not like it even matters, relationships aren't abou—"

"I could do it."

"I—" you blink, shaking your head at the pure audacity of his request? Suggestion? Comment? Whatever the fuck. "Excuse me?"

"I—wait, listen," Izuku rushes like you're getting ready to book it the fuck out of there, sitting upright so his body is turned to yours. "You're...it's...I've been told I'm good with my fingers, right?"

And what a way to start a story.

"Izuku, in the nicest way, every guy is like this," you scoff, "He thinks he's all that just because a chick or two said you made her feel really good. I don't need to fake another orgasm."

"You won't have to," Izuku purrs cockily, leaning forwards on his hands and making you wonder where all of this is coming from. "Let's play a game of simon says, yeah?"

"Simon—" your chest collapses with a giggle of pure disbelief, "I'm not that much younger than you, you know."

"I wouldn't be offering if you were," the greenette reasons, eyes growing dark slowly, if any. "Yes or no?"

"What's the catch?" You bargain and Izuku huffs a laugh. You can feel it on your face.

"No catch, Pretty," he hums, and you can feel the vibrations in your fingers. "It's simple: I'll stuff you full with two fingers, but they only do what simon says. Understand?"

You gulp as Izuku lifts a hand—and a very large one, at that—and it's jagged and rough with scars and bulky knuckles. His free hand makes you grab his wrist and you're fingertips barely touch, but you’re pulling his hand south by your own volition.

“Gotta take your pants off first,” he chuckles, and you flush red. That would be helpful, yes.

It doesn't take long before they're off though, flung towards a corner somewhere—and this is when you realize that maybe, you shouldn't do this on Kota's bed.

"Izuku maybe we shoul—"

But before you can say anything else, he's pushing your panties to the side and shoving both fingers into you at once, eyebrows folding as he groans under his breath from the sensation.

"So wet already? Clearly, someone likes this more than they let on."

"I—what the fuck happened to simon says!" You yelp, but his fingers don't move. Izuku just beams like the deceptive asshole he is.

"Game starts now," is all he says, and you're huffing, propping yourself up on your elbows. Izuku's fingers might as well have knocked the wind out of you, lungs struggling to find room to breathe as he curls his fingers to tap directly onto your g-spot with worrying precision.

"Simon says um, move please," you grunt out. Izuku's fingers stay still, and you frown, kicking him in the thigh. "Hey, I sai—"

"You gotta be more specific than that, Pretty,” he says with a grin. You snarl. "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

"I..." you start, but it's fucking embarrassing, and you know Izuku feels you twitch around him when you say: "Can you um, fuck me with your fingers."

He doesn't move.

"Simon says fuck me with your fingers, asshole," you grunt with narrowed eyes, though they widen when he starts to pump his fingers in and out, chuckling when you shiver from the dexterity.

Except, his fingers move painfully slow, and you find yourself gritting your teeth at the speed when he doesn't make an effort to go any faster. You click your tongue—he's really going to make you request everything, isn't he?

"Simon says faster," you growl with a challenge burning in your eyes, and Izuku meets them with equal fire, fingers finally forgetting their torturous pace for a much quicker one. Finally.

"Fuck! Simo—simon says right t-there," your legs spread wider and Izuku makes more room for himself in between. He hums with dark eyes as you whimper and whine his name, writhing in his younger brother's sheets like they belong to him—like you belong to him.

"I wanna touch you all the time, you know," Izuku grunts before cursing at the sight of your wetness around his fingers. "Make you feel good, make you mine. I don't think Kota would approve, though."

"We don—" you wheeze and he places a hand next to your head, towering over you. The angle only gets better, your hands digging into the sheets as Izuku's fingers curl just right. "We don't have to tell him."

Izuku chuckles at that, chest rumbling as he leans in closer to the point where your noses nearly touch. "You dirty fucking girl."

You moan at that, hips bucking into his hand. You're so close and yet you need more, something else to push you over the edge for good. With a whimper behind a bitten lip, you say, "S-Simon says rub my clit."

Izuku's thumb falls upon your clit and you squeal from the amount of initial pressure, thighs jolting from the white-hot waves that pump through your bloodstream as his thumb moves in small, ever-quickening circles that have you gripping for Kota's comforter for dear life.

"Iz—Izuku I'm gonna—g-gonna cum," you pant, and he's ripping his hands away before you can even reach a hint of the edge. You glare at him out of pure and utter betrayal, and he beams.

"Simon didn't say, did he?"

Your mouth flies open before your brain has time to process it all, "Simon says make me cum, p-please, I need to—fuck!"

Izuku's stuffing you full with his fingers in an instant and his thumb returns to its rightful place.

"Yeah? You gonna cum for me, Pretty?" His hands somehow find the energy to speed up to the point where the clap of his palm against your pussy fills the room, slowly being replaced by a lewd squelch as you tighten around him. He chuckles when all you can do is whimper, grappling for his big shoulders as he says, "Oh, yes she is. So fucking close I can feel it."

You let out a broken moan and in a blink you're squirting, body buzzing as you make a big wet mess of Kota's sheets. It doesn't even register how screwed you two are because you're too busy wading waist-deep in the sea of Izuku's eyes, chest heaving in time with his as he gives you a look of pure awe. Not at what you've done, per se, but at you, and that's when you understand it—the passion.

"We should uh, probably clean up," Izuku flushes as he chuckles, cheeks pressing into the crescents of his face, and you find yourself smiling along with him. With a final click, he pulls his fingers out, gesturing to a circular wet spot on his now see-through shirt. "You made quite a mess."

Fuck the passion.

You shove your fists into his chest and Izuku laughs, pushing your hands away with his one dry free hand, wiping the wet one on Kota's sheets.

"Izuku!" You gasp, looking at the new and improved addition to your mess. The greenette shrugs.

"What? We're going to have to clean it anyway," he shrugs before assuming the dry spot to your right and nestling his forearms in the pillow to peck you on the forehead. Then he freezes.

"I uh...am I allowed to do that?"

You roll your eyes, grabbing him by his squirt-soaked shirt to pull him into a kiss. Izuku hums at that, suppressing the urge to smile as his big hands find their way to your waist. He's an annoyingly good kisser

"No, you're not," you say with swollen lips once you pull away. Izuku grins, teeth digging into his bottom lip as his eyes flutter to yours for a moment, before they're staring into your soul again.

"I like you," he boldly states, albeit quietly, like he's talking to your eyes and nothing else. "Like, a lot."

"I—" You start, but you're interrupted by a click of a lock and the sound of the front door opening. Shit.

"Oi! We're home, Izuku!"

[catboyebooks]

re: chapter 3 closing thoughts AGAIN, i'm not done

i wanna talk about how this chapter is uh... absurd. illogical. strains suspension of disbelief. i mean, with the VR twist it makes sense, but we aren't going to get that reveal till near the end of the game. if you just played through this for the first time unspoiled you'd probably think this chapter makes no fucking sense, but i think it's also very clear that this is the point, because the characters also notice that things seem Off. like, it's all throughout this chapter:

kuzuryuu recovers enough to rejoin the group only two days after losing an eye and sustaining multiple other more minor injuries, which is maybe believable (something something yakuza have pain tolerance down to an art etc), but then it's immediately followed up with him slicing his own stomach open and recovering from that in the span of a few hours.

the entire despair fever motive quite blatantly makes no sense at all (pre-reveal). no one has ever heard of this disease before, the symptoms are extremely personally specific and implausible, and the explanation we get is also fishy and seems clearly made up ("oh this disease only exists on this island and it's spread by little bugs you can't see and it's totally been here the whole time i just never thought to mention"). yet three people fall ill with this disease at the same time. how this is supposed to be a motive is never even really explained. nonetheless, as soon as someone dies, all three sick people are cured instantaneously — this includes tsumiki, who nobody (except komaeda) even knew was sick until after the trial. can i point out that tsumiki was with hinata the entire time the bodies were discovered and the sick people were healed? even if there was some sort of miracle cure that could be administered, monokuma never had an opportunity to give it to her without the others seeing. she was not alone at any point during the investigation. this implies all three were cured instantaneously, as if by magic, just because the motive was no longer needed... which, again, seems like total nonsense pre-reveal.

tsumiki's execution (which i want to talk about more later) is completely bizarre and a bit hard to even follow when you're watching it. not a single aspect of it seems plausible if you don't realize this is happening in virtual reality. it doesn't even have an obvious subtextual meaning about her character in the way danganronpa executions tend to, except that she's used as a fanservice joke again (again, i wanna talk more about this later).

several minor details — like hinata remarking that the days seem to go by oddly quickly here and the conversation he and sonia have about how they've had perfect weather every day — that point in the direction of something about the setting/situation they're in being fishy.

the chapter fucking ends on the stinger of nidai returning to them as a robot. also nuts, and pushing it even in a universe with previously established sophisticated robotics/AI. a computer program that can mimic its programmer is one thing, monokuma as a sophisticated remote-controlled toy in dr1 is one thing, the giant mechs are also hard to believe especially in context but still not as crazy as a living human man being fully turned into a robot that is still the same human man over the course of a few days.

this isn't by any means the first time sdr2 has been deliberately absurd in order to make you question the situation. usami turned a chicken into a cow way back in the fucking prologue, to name just one example. but it's clearly ramped up this chapter, because most of what i talked about above are major plot points. these aren't just isolated weird moments that can be dismissed easily. the only reason the characters don't get completely hung up on all of this (though hinata is clearly getting increasingly bothered about the whole thing, as he has throughout the game) is because there's so much else going on that they don't have time to discuss whether the situation they're in even makes logical sense. even though it's becoming increasingly clear that it does not.

like i said before, i think this really affects the tone of this chapter. i can see how people might not like it, at least on a first impression, because it feels unbelievable/ridiculous, like the rules of the story are being made up as we go along. personally i like this stuff — not only as foreshadowing for the reveal, but just the contrast between the otherwise fairly grim tone a lot of this chapter has and the absolutely bizarre shit happening constantly. some of it's funny, some of it's just completely baffling, and it sort of has the feeling of being dream logic, which all things considered is entirely appropriate.

also regardless of the player's reaction, this is quite clearly having an effect on hinata. he's always a little bit of a walking internal crisis and he's been suspicious of the entire thing right out of the gate, but this is really dialing it up. he's picking up on how little sense everything makes, becoming increasingly confused about the situation, and in this chapter alone is unable to sleep all night on multiple nights because he is just too goddamn stressed. and like, tbh, he's completely justified here. but even if you aren't looking at it from his perspective, the fact that he's spiraling deeper and deeper into questioning himself and the others and his situation should have obvious Plot Implications going forward and contribute towards making this chapter feel like a turning point. imo.

[queercapwriting]

Hi Cap! I've really missed your weekly Sanvers drabbles. How about something cute with them doing a secret santa and they draw each other's name? Maybe they aren't even together yet but by the end of the gift exchange, they get a great/perfect gift plus a girfriend! :D

Maggie had no idea how her name even got added to this God-forsaken drawing, but she strongly suspected M’gann.

“Was this you?” she asked, halfway through her third round of beer. M’gann paused in wiping down the camera, face the picture of mild curiosity and innocence.

Maggie was pretty sure she knew better.

She flashed her phone toward the bartender, details of the DEO’s Secret Santa exchange on it. M’gann heaved the most affected shrug Maggie had ever seen.

“Was what me?”

“Oh my God.”

“What?”

“It paired me with Danvers, M’gann. I suppose that was you, too?”

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about.” M’gann nodded at someone down on the other side of the bar. “But I did hear her sister talking about how much Danvers used to like surfing.”

Maggie most certainly did not picture Alex Danvers soaking wet in the ocean.

No, she most certainly did not.

+++

“Kara.” Alex was lying on her back in her little sister’s living room, with her feet up on the couch. An open box of pizza was sitting on her stomach. “What am I supposed to do?” 

“Maybe start with sitting up while you eat, Alex, you know what happened with that pop tart when you were a senior in high school.”

Alex scowled. “It was a defective pop tart.”

“Alex.”

“I don’t even know what kinds of things she likes.”

Kara plopped onto the couch and swiped the box of pizza off Alex’s stomach. Alex glared, but worked her way up onto the couch. She took the pizza box back.

“Sure you do, you’ve been spending all that time playing pool together at the bar. And working all those cases. You can’t possibly only talk about work, Alex.”

Alex squinted. “I mean, we pretty much can. And do. She... she’s from Nebraska. And she... likes aliens? Not like in a fetishizing way, I mean, just - it - and guns. She likes guns? Sort of? It’s complicated. But she does like scotch. And beer. And -”

“And you are not getting her an alien or a gun for Christmas, so maybe we can do more brainstorming.”

+++

“Danvers.” Maggie tried to keep her tone even the next day, working some scene or another with Alex. Normally, she’d know everything about everything about where she was and what she was doing. Today, she was coasting on prior knowledge and the ability to... well, to detect. 

Because if Alex Danvers was distracting under normal circumstances, well, knowing she’d have to give her a damn present at the end of the week was a whole new layer of brain scatteredness.

“Sawyer.” She thought maybe there was a smile in Alex’s voice - who did she get for Secret Santa? - but no, she was definitely projecting. Wishful thinking. Alex wasn’t even into girls. M’gann was being ridiculous. Sweet, but ridiculous. Because even if Alex was into girls, this was Alex damn Danvers. So far out of Maggie’s league.

“What’ve we got?”

She tried to follow Alex’s words rather than just the pitch of her voice and the way her body moved. The way she squinted her eyes almost like a glare when she was concentrating, or pushed her hair out of her face almost like she was annoyed by it when she was trying to see something closer. Or the way she licked her lips sometimes, and she’d probably taste like -

No, no, nope, absolutely not.

“So Danvers, um. Doing anything special for the holidays? You going home for Chanukah, or?”

“Pfft, no.”

Maggie tilted her head, but said nothing. She just passed Alex the dusting powder she’d been looking for, wordless, because more and more these days, they weren’t needing words.

Alex sighed. “My mom and I aren’t a great combination around the holidays. Especially since my dad’s been. Um, gone.”

“I’m sorry, Danvers.”

Alex smiled, more with her eyes than with her mouth. It made Maggie’s heart break and heal at the same time.

“We’ll get together when it’s not the holidays - less intense, less expectations. But I will miss the ocean. It’s always nice, going home to the ocean.”

Maggie watched something like regret flicker across her face. But only for a moment.

“What about you, Maggie? Going home?”

She ignored the way her stomach always flipped when Alex used her first name. When Alex just existed at all.

She made herself chuckle. “No, definitely not. Wouldn’t be welcome even if I wanted to. Home... home is wherever I happen to be at any given time, which is pretty much everywhere and nowhere all at once.”

“Sounds lonely.” Alex paused her analysis of whatever it was she was examining - Maggie had long since lost track of their scene - and met her eyes.

“Not all the time.” She said it while she held Alex’s gaze. She said it before she could think. Dammit. Now Alex was going to -

“Good. You don’t deserve to be lonely.”

Maggie wasn’t sure if she was grateful or enraged when the rookie she was training ambled up to them, asking for guidance on how to file one piece of evidence or another.

She thought Alex looked disappointed, but she was almost definitely projecting.

+++

“Merry holidays, Danvers.”

The sound of Maggie’s voice made her jump way too high to just be startled. She wished, not for the first time, that she had a much higher degree of chill around this woman.

“Sawyer.” Oh crap, did her voice squeak? Who was she, Winn? “What uh, what are you doing here?”

She glanced around the DEO like Maggie was about to be tackled by -

“Vasquez let me in.”

Ah. No tackling, then.

“Is everything okay, what -”

“Yeah, no, I just um. You’ve all got that holiday party thing tonight, and parties really aren’t my thing, so honestly, I’m gonna skip it, but I - I got put into that Secret Santa thing, and I got your name, so I just wanted to um -”

How Alex hadn’t noticed that Maggie had been holding something behind her back the whole time, she had no clue. Maybe because her hair was down, and she was fidgeting a little and it was more than a little bit cute, and -

“Happy Chanukah, Danvers. Or, Christmakuah, or whatever.”

She was pressing something into Alex’s hands, and she was smiling that little titled smile, and she was walking away, and -

“Wait, you’re not coming tonight?”

Maggie stopped but didn’t turn around, not all the way.

“They’re not really my thing, Danvers.”

“But how will you get the gift from whoever drew your name?”

“M’gann’s going. I asked her if she would -”

“I don’t want to give your present to M’gann.”

Dammit. Had she sounded desperate, or ridiculous, or -

Maggie turned fully around, now. “You drew my name, too?”

“Um. Yes. Merry Christmas?”

Maggie laughed. Alex tried not to hate how much she loved that sound.

“You’re not a party person? Fine. Take this -” Alex held out the package Maggie had pressed into her hands without looking at it. “And bring it to the bar tonight, before the party. We’ll exchange our gifts then. Okay?”

“Okay.”

+++

“You didn’t only enter my name in the damn pool, you arranged it so Alex and I would pull each other’s names?”

“Maggie, I really have no idea what you’re going on about, but I’d love it if you put some of those motorcycle mechanic skills to use on the ice machine right now,” M’gann said without looking at her, keeping her eyes on the garland she was stringing along the tops of the bar.

She thought about arguing with her only friend - well, maybe except Alex Danvers - in National City. She thought better of it, and contented herself to muttering under her breath while she fixed the ice machine and waited for Alex.

At least it gave her something to do.

“So you’re the person we all have to thank when M’gann can put ice in our drinks?”

Alex’s voice made her jump so hard she hit her head on the damn machine.

“Oh, Maggie, no, I’m sorry, come here.”

Before she could so much as say “ow,” Alex’s hands were on her, tracing the spot where Maggie had banged her forehead, so gently it was easy to forget how easily - and happily - this woman carried a gun.

Because of course - she was a doctor, too. Why wouldn’t she be a little bit of everything intoxicating?

“I’m okay, Danvers.”

“You’re okay when I say you’re okay,” Alex muttered, almost more to herself than to Maggie. But there was a small smile on her lips.

“Alright then. You think I’ll make it, doc?”

“Only time will tell. But you’re good enough for now to at least give me my present.”

Maggie hated the way it felt when Alex took her hands away from her. She would gladly conk her head and dignity on an ice machine every day if it meant Alex’s hands on her. Well. Maybe there were less painful ways... no. No no no nope. Just a gift exchange. Nothing more.

“So it’s pretty silly, really, but you said you miss the beach. So um.”

Maggie shoved the small package back into Alex’s hands and pretended not to hold her breath.

It turned out that watching Alex’s eyes mist over with the sensation of home was all Maggie wanted to do, like... ever.

“You like it?” she asked. Her voice didn’t sound like her own, but it also had never sounded more like her.

“Maggie,” Alex whispered. Maggie gulped, and smiled - because yeah, she’d actually done a pretty cool job.

It was a snow globe - sort of. Sand globe? Something. 

She’d commissioned Brian to make it - the artistry he pulled off planet tended to look like magic on Earth, and that was exactly what she’d been going for - he’d owed her more than a few favors, anyway.

The snow globe was an exact miniature of a beach, complete with seagulls and sand dunes and way too much seaweed accumulating on the shore. She hoped that maybe, it looked like home.

“If you put your hands on the glass, it should transmit -”

“How is that possible?” Alex asked. The awe in her voice told Maggie it was working. Maybe she was the one who owed Brian a favor, now.

Because if the look on Alex’s face was any indication, the sound and smells of the beach were flooding her senses through touching the glass - just like she was there.

“It’s not much, but it’s -”

“It’s perfect. Thank you. Thank you. It’s... you...” Maggie’s heart leapt. Alex cleared her throat. “You’re going to have to explain exactly how it works to me.”

“Nerd.”

“Wait!” Alex set the globe down reverently, reluctantly, it seemed, which made Maggie happier than she’d care to admit. “Your turn.”

She gingerly placed a little red bag onto the table between them, looking anywhere but Maggie’s eyes as she opened it.

“Do you like it?” Alex asked, way too soon. Because speaking was not something Maggie remembered how to do, just then.

It was a Triumph, a perfect little replica, with gears that Maggie could already tell actually worked. With a license plate that spelled home, with an earth label instead of a particular state. Maggie held it close to her face, examining it with a reverence she didn’t know how to explain.

“It works, of course. There’s a neural link, in the bag, that you can just kind of put on your temple, and you can drive it around with your thoughts, sort of. It’ll connect to your real life one, too, in case you ever need your bike to come to you. And it says home, you know, as planet earth instead of just one state because yeah, it can be really lonely to feel like nowhere is home, but I don’t want you to feel alone, or lonely, and it also means that you’re your own home, and that’s actually pretty badass, and amazing, because if you were my home, that would be amazing, and oh my God please make me stop talking now -”

“Danvers.”

“Oh, thank Rao.”

“Why did you do this for me?”

“Because you’re my Secret Santa?”

“Danvers.”

“Sawyer.”

Maggie wanted to ask if she could kiss her. She wanted to ask if she could kiss her, and not stop, and take her home, and kiss her some more. She wanted to ask if she could show her exactly how perfect she found Alex’s ridiculous rambling, how perfect she found... her.

She wanted to ask, but this was good, this was amazing, and if she asked, it would ruin everything, and -

And then Alex’s lips were on hers, because Alex Danvers was nothing if not act first, talk later. 

A whoop from across the bar sounded suspiciously both like Supergirl and Alex’s kid sister Kara. She smiled into Alex’s mouth.

“This is okay?” Alex asked, shyer than Maggie had ever heard her.

“Yes.”

“The present was good then?”

“The present isn’t why I’m kissing you, Danvers.”

Alex pulled back. “So it wasn’t good?”

“Oh my God, Alex, it’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

She leaned her forehead onto Alex’s, because as much as she needed to keep kissing her, she also needed to breathe. 

But it was the holidays, and they had motorcycles and beaches and each other, and there would be time for all of it.

“Worked better than mistletoe,” she thought she heard M’gann mutter, and honestly, she couldn’t disagree.

[stainedglassthreads]

If you'd like some good analysis into Chara's character through the game Undertale, the original NarraChara theory is highly recommended, as is this analysis of Chara's relationship with Frisk on a Pacifist run. Hope this is. Enlightening or interesting, at least.

Anyways here's my take on trying to explain Chara as a character.

Chara is an incredibly ambiguous character, largely because, to preserve the twist that Chara and Frisk are separate people, neither Chara nor Frisk can be given much blatant characterization, and a LOT of the characterization of both is left to subtext. This didn't fully work, but I do think Toby learned from this and is trying to tackle similar ideas with the relationship between us, Kris, and the Vessel, as well as the dynamic between us, Kris, and Noelle in Snowgrave. My take on them is more about themes, and analyzing the two finale speeches. I think the most important thing about Chara is that no matter what, they are VERY concerned with control, power, and consequences. And also that, depending on how you play the game, you mold who they become.

If Flowey is a cautionary tale about what the Player can become, then Chara is a mirror being held up to the Player, or that's how I like thinking about it.

Specifically, I think in No Mercy, Chara was telling the truth that they were 'so confused' when they first awoke. I think that NarraChara theory is accurate, and that they probably first attached themself to Frisk when Frisk encountered Flowey--very specifically, at the moment Flowey's bullets disappear and Frisk is healed to full. Considering Chara's description of their journey, and Flowey's description of his backstory, I think initially Chara was shaken up after Asriel's actions, and in a malleable state. Depending on our actions, we encourage them to develop in certain ways.

In Pacifist, we teach Chara that Asriel was right. It's better to not kill and not be killed--literally the opposite of what they tried to do. We show them the damage that the consequences of their plan wrought upon Toriel, Asgore, Asriel, and Monsterkind as a whole. We show them that humans aren't so bad, and also deserve forgiveness. We show them how loved they always were. We offer them a chance to both atone and move on, comforted by the fact that everyone they care for, Frisk included, will live a happy and peaceful life.

In No Mercy, we teach Chara that they were right. The pursuit of power and control is to be pursued above all else, otherwise you'll end up getting hurt. Distance yourself from the harm you're causing as much as possible, and take control when necessary. When there's nothing left for you in the world, move on. Chara then proceeds to show us the consequences of our own actions--we can't just murder everyone and pretend like nothing happened. We have to give away Frisk's soul to return that world--and if we do No Mercy again, Chara explains that we and them are different now. Chara will follow our lead and support us no matter what, because you are 'partners' implying both have some degree of input, but they're free of attachments now. They don't understand why we'd want to keep doing the same thing again and again.

It's also implied, in Flowey's Post-Pacifist speech, that Chara had Some Opinions about Reset, somehow. Flowey talks about Reset, referring to it as 'The power you wanted to stop. The power I wanted to use.' I think Chara believes that actions should have consequences. Including their own actions. I think it's not without purpose that they killed themself in the same way Asgore was poisoned. That they chose their own soul to be the one absorbed rather than taking Asriel's. That they chose a slow, painful, attention-grabbing way of dying, rather than something quicker, cleaner, more subtle.

can i just say i do not get chara as a character and it is driving me up a WALL

[ma-gic-gay]

"Get. Out," Jason says, glaring at the mobster in front of him. "Aren't you supposed to be in a prison cell?"

"I was released on bail and wanted to see how-"

"Say her name and you'll be the one in the hospital bed."

"Is that a threat?"

"A promise," he smiles fakely, enjoying the fact he's the one with power in this situation. This sick bastard is the reason that his... Carly is traumatized and hurt.

"Please, leave," Carly requests softly. For a minute, Jason almost forgot she was there. He immediately goes back in his chair and wipes away her tears, which are coming fairly frequently. "I want him out of here and back in his cell."

"You heard the woman. Get out or I'll have security remove you."

"I own part of this hospital, Mr. Morgan. I'm on the board-"

"Not anymore," Michael answers, walking in with his kids and Willow. "Last night, the board took a vote. ELQ bought out your shares and the board decided you're no longer a part of it. So if I were you, I'd get out of here while you can still move."

"Are you threatening me, Mr. Corinthos?" Cyrus asks, amused. "That won't fly with anyone, really."

"You made a mistake, underestimating him," Willow chimes in. "I'd leave pretty quickly if I were you. After all, we know you're going back to Pentonville, where I look forward to you rotting in a prison cell until you die a slow, painful death."

"Ms. Tait-"

"It's Mrs. Corinthos, actually," she says, glaring at him while showing her engagement and wedding rings. "Because, you see, I love Michael and he loves me. That's what these beautiful rings mean. Something I doubt you'll ever be able to experience. Then again, maybe prisoners like knowing that their fellow prisoner is a kidnapper and rapist. Maybe not. I guess you'll find out."

"I have no reason to leave," Cyrus answers a non-existent question. "There's no need for me to. I just wanted to check on Carly. I do hope I can call you that, Mrs. Corinthos?"

"No," she answers, voice weak and tears still streaming down her face. "Please, leave. You know what you did to me. So do the cops, so does everyone else in this room. Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom if you insist, but otherwise, Cyrus, get the hell out of my room."

When he still refuses to move, Jason presses the "call" button near Carly's bed and Epiphany enters the room. "Mr. Renault. Unless you need medical attention, get out of this hospital."

"Nurse Johnson," he greets. "Nice to see you."

"Security!" Epiphany shouts instead of answering his greeting. "Cyrus is in 3115!"

A few moments later, a security guard enters and escorts Cyrus out, much to the man's protests. "I'm not doing anything wrong by visiting a friend!"

Epiphany casts a glance towards Carly, "You want a sedative or something?"

"No, thanks," the blonde responds, noticing her grandkids are in the room and breaking into a fake smile. "Hey Wiley, Ophelia! Did you two have fun playing with Donna and Avery yesterday?"

"Grandma, why are you crying?" Wiley asks. "And why aren't you at home?"

"I got a really bad booboo and so I'm stuck in here for a little while. Don't worry, bud, I'll be out of here and playing with you two again as soon as I can. Maybe we'll go get some ice cream to celebrate when I get out, how's that sound?" Carly asks her grandson, simplifying it greatly.

"Yay! Ice cream!" Wiley cheers while his sister just smiles.

"Hey, Mr. Wiley, I think you have to get to school," Michael says after glancing at his watch.

"But I want to help Grandma's boo-boos feel better!" He protests.

"Grandma needs her rest, Wiley. Tell you what, maybe your dad will take you here after school and you can tell her all about your day. How's that sound?" Jason offers, compromising.

"Will you make sure she gets her rest, Jason?" Wiley asks and they laugh at the young boy's concern.

"Yes, I will. But you've got to get off to school first."

"Okay. Bye bye, Grandma and Jason! I'll be back after school."

He waves as Michael takes him out of there, Ophelia still with Willow. "Ophelia, do you wanna say bye to her? Say bye bye," Willow urges, smiling.

Silence follows that. "She's being rude, sorry about that," she jokes before bringing her out to join Michael and Wiley in the car.

As soon as the door closes behind Willow, the silent tears multiply and Carly's loudly sobbing. "How did he get out, Jason? They promised me he'd go to jail, that he'd never see the light of day again. I know it's the PCPD, but they made a promise to me! And now he's walking around town, free to see me and make me feel like I'm back in that room and he's about to-" she trails off at one point, sobs overtaking her vocal cords.

"I don't know. I'm calling Diane; this isn't making any sense."

"No need to call, Jason. I'm right here. Heard Cyrus got let out?"

"He paid a visit to us, actually, only a few minutes ago," Carly says, abruptly ending her sobs.

"Well, the DA is going to take this case. Which means Robert Scorpio is your lawyer. I'm going to be assisting him, however, and I expect that Cyrus will be put away rather quickly. If he doesn't plead guilty, than you'll go to trial. His arraignment is happening tomorrow and he's out on bail until then. After that, he will be sent to Pentonville to either await trial or start serving his sentence," Diane summarizes quickly. "Carly, when are you expected to get out of here?"

"In a couple of days, but I think they'd let me out for a court date."

"You're not leaving until the doctor's deem it safe," Jason counters quickly. "If you can't go to the arraignment, I will. I'll tell you exactly what happened."

"Well if the doctors say I can go to court-"

"Look. I'll talk to the nurses and figure out what's going on here. You two can fight about this later. In the meantime, you need to be prepared for the possibility he'll plead not guilty and take this to trial." Diane interjects. "Robert will be by later today to discuss this with you."

"If he pleads not guilty and we go to trial, how fast can we get one?" Jason asks.

"A couple of weeks, probably. Which means keeping a low profile. No business talk, no crazy ideas. Just a coffee importer and a victim of what Cyrus did to you," Diane warns. "You two don't exactly have the best reputation."

"Hey, I'm a respectable businesswoman and he's a respectable businessman. We'll be fine," Carly smiles and Diane cocks an eyebrow at Jason.

"We won't do anything stupid."

"Good. I'm going to go talk to the nurses. Carly, rest up. We'll want you at court tomorrow." Diane says before leaving, her heels clacking along the tile.

"Don't tell me you want me to stay in the hospital," Carly says, starting up that argument again.

"I don't. But if it's the best way for you to heal-"

"It's not. I'm already bored to death and, as much as I enjoy your company, I want to be at home. Or at work. Back to running the world, you know? Not cooped up in this hospital bed, screaming every few hours because I feel like I'm back in that room above Jake's, which used to be such a fun spot but now it makes me want to die inside, thinking about it. Thinking about what he did, it taints almost all of our memories there and I think that's the worst part of it," the blonde admits, smiling through her tears.

"I can think, you know, about how we got our start, and when I focus on just you, it makes it all seem so much easier. When I don't, and I let my mind wander, somehow I end up thinking about what Cyrus did. I can't even indulge in nostalgia without thinking about him, Jason. The physical, yeah I'm sore but I'll be fine. Eventually, I won't have any physical mark of it. But the emotional one, what if it never goes away? What if whenever I think of us, and that little room, I always end up thinking about Cyrus? What then?"

"Then you'll just have to think of our other memories. At the penthouse, at any of your houses, with Michael, at the hospital, any of the years worth of other memories," he offers. "They're not our only good memories, Carly. They're just a few."

"My boy on the side, remember?" She asks and they laugh. "Robin couldn't find out and neither could Tony."

"Yeah," he smiles. "We were determined to never speak to each other outside of the bar and that room. It was pretty much our only rule."

"I never did like following rules."

"Not even the ones you came up with."

"Well, if I'd followed the rules, then you wouldn't know me nearly as well and you'd be leading a sad life without me in it. You wouldn't have nearly as much fun without me," she says confidently.

"I'd also have way less headaches."

"And be dead by now."

"Yeah, probably."

"I think I've earned a thank you."

"Thank you, Carly."

"You're welcome." Smiling, she realizes something. "Hey, I just realized that you didn't kiss me that nightmare."

"Did you really want me to kiss you in front of Cyrus?" He asks.

"It would've drove him nuts."

"Yeah, well Michael, Willow, and your grandkids were in here too. Michael's already barely not killing us for having sex, I don't feel like testing that."

"No one's here now."

"Is that your way of telling me to-" he gets cut off by the feeling of her kissing him.

They pull apart a few moments later, Carly having a satisfied smile on her face. "So, how long does this whole kissing me every time I have a nightmare thing last?"

"Until we decide to stop it," he answers simply, refusing to label whatever the hell is going on here. At least, none of that until she's more recovered from this, maybe when Cyrus is behind bars.

To be continued after I actually do school because fuck the education system

@ryleighjosephine i dont know what the song is sorry

[dorkzilla-exe]

Zim, Dib, and Seven Smeets

A ZaDr series: Ep 1, Hatching Day

Dib: Zim, will you come down.

Zim: *sitting on top of the fridge* DO NOT DISTURB ME WHILE I'M IN MY PANIC SPOT!

Dib: Im just-

Zim: *crying* DIBBERSON, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE!

Dib: you said that an hour ago, I've got everything set up for the celebration, so at least be down before 3, ok?

Zim: wait, you did the decorating? You did EVERYTHING?! ON YOUR OWN?!

Dib: *smiles sinisterly* yes, yes I did, all on my own, probably made some mistakes in color arrangement-

Zim: LET ME SEE! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE MESSED ANYTHING UP!! *jumps down from the fridge and scurries into the living room*

Dib: works every time...

Zim: Dib, you didn't actually mess any of the decorations!?

Dib: I studied hard when you were decorating for Gaz's birthday, so I applied your decoration tactics to this room and... well... ta-daa!

Zim: you really are amazing, Dib. You know that, right?

Dib: I got the hint the day you gave me a ring-pop and asked for my hand in marriage.

Zim: I swear I didn't know it was candy, the person who sold it to me said it was worth 5,000$ and would sell it to me for 4,900...

Dib: I really didn't care about being proposed to with a candy ring, a ring is a ring to me, wether it's candy or not. Although, it is very concerning how someone managed to sell you a ring-pop for that much.

Zim: don't remind me...

Dib: would you believe me when I say I still have it?

Zim: no, I actually wouldn't.

Dib: well I do, I had it dipped in resin so it wouldn't deteriorate.

Zim: wow, how have I not noticed it?

Dib: remember that box I where keep stuff like pendants and pins? That's where the ring is.

Zim: that's sweet.

Dib: wait a minute, I just remembered we've got one more thing to do...

Zim: The Smeet's play-pen! We've gotta decorate that! Get the streamers! I've got some decorating to do!

[About an hour later]

Dib: alright, living room decorated, snacks and cake ready, little gift bags customized for every guest, flowers and other table decorations, and Zim's in the play-pen with the eggs. We are ready for the guests to arrive and it isn't even-

[Knocking from the front door]

Dib: right on cue, must be dad cause he's been early to ever other party. *answers the door* hey- uh...

Tallest Red: hello there, you must be Dib

Tallest Purple: How has Zim been? We haven't heard too much from him since he layed the eggs.

Dib: uhhhh... Hi I'm Dib Membrane, Zim's husband. Zim's been doing wonderfully, aside from the random anxiety attacks and his weekends of depression. Please come in! We have plenty of Irken friendly food and drinks ready, but remember to save some for the other guests. You two apparently aren't the only alien guests on our list.

Tallest Red: Thank you Mr. Membrane, we appreciate your hospitality. *enters with Tallest Purple*

Zim: My Tallest! I didn't expect you to be here until 10 minutes later.

Tallest Purple: see, I told you we were too early!

Tallest Red: EUGH, we could've brought the little ones Paks...

Dib: actually, we already thought of that. My Dad works at Membrane labs and designed him "Membrane Paks". They are designed to make it easier for them to identify us in a crowd, immediately begin healing if injured, ward off any diseases and illnesses, higher pain tolerance, and give them a longer life.

Zim: the only major differences are the Designs and application process. Instead of implanting electonics in abruptly, we will apply them more delicately, carefully and less painfully.

Tallest Red: hmm, I see, it would also be much easier to identify them if they ever decided to work for the Irken Empire.

Zim: i mean, you're not wrong. But I also invited here to ask for permission to retire.

Tallest Purple: retire?

Tallest Red: eumm... sure? Why not?

[1 hour later]

Dib: Dad, Gaz, the tallest, Skoodge, Tak, Tenn, Keef, Z, Zita, Clembrane, Prisinor 777 and his kids.

Dib: that seems to be about everyone, all we're missing are-

Anne: *annoyingly beating on Dib's Door* DIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIB!

Dib: Anne and Flish...

Dib: *opens the door, making Anne fall into the house*

Anne: Crikey, you've grown! You're 'bout as tall as Flishey now!

Flish: howdy, Dib. Sorry we couldn't make it to yer wedding last year.

Dib: it's ok, come on in you two.

Tallest Purple: oh yeah... we banished HER here too...

Tallest Red: I feel like Zim isn't our biggest concern anymore.

Anne: My Tallest! It's been YEARS! how've ya been!

Tallest Purple: good~

Anne: *gasp* OH MY GOSH! The eggs! Aw, they're absolutely precious! Zim, you oughta call yourself lucky! 'Lotta Irkens can't lay eggs y'know.

Zim: eheh, I know. Which is why I didn't fully expect it.

Dib: you should've seen him, he cried his eyes out the whole time and more.

Flish: Heha! sounds like Zim a'right. But don'cha get all concerned and stuff. It's completely normal to cry during egg laying. Er, from what I've heard at least.

Dib: it's official, everyone's here.

Tallest Purple: great!... Now what?

Dib: Um, we talk.

Tallest Purple: sounds boring.

Gaz: I have Videogames.

Tallest Purple: Ooo, sounds intriguing! What do you do?

Professor Membrane: son, may I speak with you for a moment?

Dib: sure.

Professor Membrane: let's go into the other room, ok.

Dib: *nods and walks into the bedroom*

Professor Membrane: something is wrong and I can tell.

Dib: *walks over to the bad, grabs a pillow, and screams in it*

Professor Membrane: I know your stressed, but everything will be just fine. I'm sure you and Zim will be great-

Dib: But what if we arent?! I work weekends at a coffee shop and Zim works at a clothing store in a mall. We can't provide for SEVEN babies! It took a lot of saving to get this party set up! I rarely get any tips and the one tip I got last weekend was from Gaz and it was a penny.

Professor Membrane: Ok, now that's just sad.

Dib: I don't know what to do! It's hard for me to get a different job, a barista was the closest I could do because I apparently make really good lattes. *sob*

Professor Membrane: have you ever considered working with me in the labs? You already know everyone there and know the place well. Plus, I could adjust your schedule so you don't have to come every day and you get paid just for being there.

Dib: you'd do that for me?

Professor Membrane: of course! You really do need the money, I could have you work as a lab assistant, but that's a little dangerous. I could put you in the mailing room? Or-

Dib: what about food service? I can cook, I can make coffee, tea, and plenty of different desserts.

Professor Membrane: that's a wonderful idea! I could make you work down at the cafeteria so your talent isn't wasted on Lattes!

Dib: Consider me hired! Ill be there tomorrow evening-

Professor Membrane: no no, you should stay home for a few days.

Dib: but dad, I-

Professor Membrane: Dibberson, I know you want to help out as soon as you can, but right now, Zim and your children need you here. Besides, it's hard to bond with a child while you're away, right?

Dib: I guess it is.

Anne: *Bursts through the door* Dib! It's about to happen! One of the eggs moved!

Dib: bwha?! Already?! I didn't think it would be this early! *runs to the living room*

Zim: Dib! There you are! Hurry over here, you don't want to miss this!

Dib: *looks over the pen* which one moved?

Zim: This one right here. *puts egg in lap*

Dib: When will they-

Zim: any moment now...

Dib: *puts hand on egg, feeling for any movement*

Zim: Dib, can I admit something before they hatch?

Dib: go ahead.

Zim: I knew about the eggs since the first day they began developing.

Dib: wanna know something? The 4 months before I helped you with the eggs, I was suspicious that you might've been pregnant. I was kinda right.

Zim: yes, yes you were. AH! DIB, IT'S HATCHING!

Dib: *removes hand, watching both the eggs hatch and his family grow before his eyes*

Zim: thank you, Dib

Dib: hm?

Zim: thank you for everything. I'll love you forever and on.

Dib: *pure panic* wait, you dont die after the eggs hatch, do you?

Zim: No, no I don't, but I'll love you longer than you'll ever know. And that's a promise.

From then and on, Zib and Dib lived a happy and eventful life with 7 beautiful Human-Irken Smeets.

The End

Zim: Or is it?

Dib: Not really, but for now, yes.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Our Father, Who Aren't in Heaven (15x08)

I'm screaming.

Cons:

Buckleming episodes usually piss me off, but this one was actually really great. It was still plagued with the same pacing problems I always see in their episodes, though. A lot of great stuff happened here, but it didn't necessarily have a ton of room to breathe. Some of it did - the Cas and Dean stuff, the Michael and Adam stuff. And maybe that's the most important. But it might have been nice to have a longer beat with Rowena, or a bit more buildup with Eileen and the case. For an episode written by these two chuckle-fucks, though, I'm honestly really, really impressed.

Donatello is an okay-ish character, but his presence here felt mostly unnecessary. Didn't we have enough to juggle, without introducing him into the mix? Eileen, Cas, Rowena, Chuck, Michael, Adam... there's a lot going on here. It probably could have been done without him.

Pros:

I really don't know where to start, so let's start with Eileen. Just the fact that she's in this episode warms me from head to toe. She's... actually in the show. She's here, in the mid-season finale, where important Plot Stuff is happening. She's a real player in events, and after she came back from the dead, she stuck around in the bunker. Like she's... really in the show, you guys. Three episodes in a row!

On a more specific note, I love that Sam followed her and Eileen called him out on it... this could have been really creepy but I think they played it right. Eileen died and came back to life, and Sam is just starting to develop this relationship with her. It makes sense that he might be a little overbearing. And Eileen's reaction was pitch-perfect. She's a little annoyed, a little amused, but also maybe a little touched? And Sam takes the criticism to heart, realizing that he's probably overstepped. Later, when Eileen has a case that she needs to go on, to help an old friend, she goes to Sam and tells him, and he tags along. This seems like a good arrangement - Eileen isn't being stupid and running off by herself for no reason, but Sam is also respecting her boundaries and letting her approach him if and when she wants help with something.

We've also got Dean giving his seal of approval to the relationship, telling Sam that if he wants to do the family and relationship thing, Eileen is probably a good way of going about that. She's a hunter, she gets the life. And, as Dean says... Sam could do a lot worse. And Eileen could do so, so much better. I honestly think this little conversation was important to include. It's not like Sam needs Dean's blessing to start a relationship with Eileen, but... let's be honest, guys. Yes he does. Not literally, but can you really imagine either of the Winchester brothers being able to foster a healthy and lasting relationship with someone who didn't meet the other brother's approval? The codependency issues here are clear, and not to be discounted.

So then let's move on to Rowena. I loved her return here. It was totally unexpected, and totally brilliant. As I mentioned above, I really could have used more of her. The brief moment where Sam wants to hash out their last moments, and Rowena brushes him off, could have felt weightier. But the fact that we even got to see her again was such a gift. And what a natural end for her character! Queen of Hell. It fits, especially since I think we've pretty much confirmed that we won't be seeing Crowley again before the end. She got to show up looking like a boss-ass bitch, save Sam, Dean, and Castiel from getting their asses handed to them, shout orders, try to help them find Michael, assert her dominance and her happiness in her new role, and even try to kick Dean and Cas into gear, as she notices that they're clearly in some sort of "tiff." As brief as her return was, it certainly packed a punch, and I loved it so very much.

Cas and Dean's strained relationship right now is giving me life. This is the most Destiel-adjacent content we've gotten since Season Eight, and with the two of them returning to Purgatory, we're bound to get a lot of material in the new year, as well. The thing that I like so much about their story arc this season is that... there is a story arc. Dean has been cruel and dismissive of Cas in the past, and Cas has made mistakes, and circumstances have conspired to keep Castiel out of episodes as he goes off on his own quests... none of this is strictly new. But what is new is the narrative weight being placed on it. This is a slow-burn conflict that's going to have to have meaty screen-time to resolve. They had a serious fight, and it's actually affecting both of them in their actions.

Both Jensen and Misha are pulling out all the stops in giving this conflict the weight it deserves. There are so many delicious moments. They make their plans and discuss their options, but they can't even meet each other's eyes. There's the moment after Cas forces Michael to confront the truth, and Dean comes in and says "maybe you went too far." It's a gentle remonstrance, and he's clearly trying not to ruffle Cas' feathers. I loved the way Jensen played that, like he needed to talk to Cas about what went down, but he wanted to be careful not to antagonize him. When Rowena confronts them, they both do the typical thing of pretending everything's fine, still refusing to look at each other.

But the moment where my heart just squeezed in my chest was obviously when Dean cut his hand in order to do the spell to get to Hell, and Cas healed him, his hand hovering over Dean's fist without touching. Dean's hand unfurls and for a moment their fingers are centimeters apart, but they never touch. Many a meta has been written about the intimate way that Cas has always healed Dean, and how that juxtaposes to the way he heals other people. And in this moment, they don't touch, and it speaks volumes. I seriously have to ask the question - why was this moment in the episode? Sam could have been the one to cut his hand, or Dean could have, but then could have wrapped it up and moved on. It's not like we haven't seen Sam and Dean brush off wounds like this and ignore them before. This was a weighty, intentional moment. We lingered on it. I am alive, y'all.

Now let's turn to Adam/Michael. This is so amazing, and not at all what I think anyone was expecting when we found out Jake Abel was returning. Sure, Adam is a little pissed off at his brothers for leaving him in the cage, and sure Michael is still going on and on about being God's favorite, but even as so much has stagnated for these two characters, we've also learned what they've been up to in the cage for the past decade. They've made an arrangement. Only one body, but two brains... so they agree to share, more or less peacefully. Sam and Dean were shocked when Michael let Adam come to the forefront to say hi to his brothers. But the two of them seem to be... buddies. Adam is able to speak freely to Michael, to express his opinion that the Winchesters might have a point. Even though Michael can't quite listen to him in this instance, it's clear that he gives real consideration to Adam's opinions.

Adam was introduced on this show such a long time ago, and it would have felt disingenuous and annoying if we'd spent too long on the whole "you let me rot in hell" business. Of course that's something Adam would be thinking about, but it's not like Sam and Dean really knew him all that well. He doesn't seem to place much weight on his status as their brother, and I can't really blame him for that. He's had to forge his own path, and he's done so by becoming friends with the angel who is possessing him. I love that glow-up for Adam.

And Michael... he has to have his heart broken the same way Sam did when he found out that Chuck has been playing them all along. I loved the moment when Cas forcefully made him confront the truth, because of course it was too much, of course it was overwhelming, but ultimately it pushed him to understand that his loyalty to God is not worth the pain and suffering he's been through. And so, in much the way that Chuck knew how to cage Amara, Michael knows how to cage Chuck. He's willing to help by passing that information along. It's a spell, of course. And the most vital ingredient is something that can only be found in Purgatory. What with Sam and Eileen dealing with Chuck elsewhere, it's going to be up to Cas and Dean. They must return to the place where their epic romance really took off and began to slowly murder us all!

Chuck has Eileen and Sam right where he wants them, and even worse, Dean and Cas don't know. This is going to create great drama, as well as opportunities for our two couples (shut up and let me have this) to spend time together as we go in to the back half of the season. My heart is really starting to break, thinking about how little time we have left with this show!

I feel like this review could get out of hand very quickly. In many ways, this felt understated for a mid-season finale. Nobody died, the status quo didn't really shift all that much. But I actually liked it better for all that. Things are in motion. Character dynamics are being explored. This is a good season of Supernatural, y'all. Fingers crossed they can stick the landing!

9/10

[muttsterion]

What do you think Mysterion does after he gets some battle wounds? Does he pack it in for the night to properly recover or does he like patch up and brace through it until his shift over? (Or is it both depending on the extent of the injuries? It seems like it's canon that if he suffers from a crippling, but non-fatal injury or is just badly wounded that he'll rather succumb to them than hope for an ambulance, since it'll mean a brand new body and promptly going back to work the next night.)

I could see Mysterion trying his best to just fight through his battle wounds no matter how bad or painful they get. He may carry a first aid kit with him anyways more so to use it on others than himself but he might make an attempt to patch himself up . Sadly Kenny might feel like it doesn't really matter if he succumbs to the wounds or not since if he dies he'll just come back. He might not even willingly seek any help or rest up. If someone comes to his rescue and tries patch him up or get him to a hospital he may insist they don’t need to worry about him. In fact Kenny might even be leery of hospitals considering when he did go there his deaths were more prolonged(not to mention the one when the doctors literally ripped out his guts and replaced his heart with a baked potato). So he might even prefer letting his injuries run their course than to seek any aid.

And then I do wonder what happens when Kenny gets badly injured but doesn’t die from it.  I’ve played around with the theory that in connection with his immortality Kenny can heal from severe wounds that aren't immediatley fatal. I'm  pretty sure they would have limits though. The only canon we have of Kenny being badly injured but not killed is when he had both his arms and legs hacked off. By the end he apparently didn't die but by the next episode he was whole again. I don't know if my HC healing powers would include being able to heal his limbs back into place or have them regenerate like a salamander but that would be pretty cool. But probably not happening. :-P

[scripttorture]

I want to write characters suffering, and being hurt in ways that aren't just accidents, but I don't want to write torture apologia. If a character gets stuck in an automated alien "hospital" or "spa", where everything was designed to be beneficial and/or pleasant (but to non-human physicality), would that avoid those unfortunate implications? I love doing fantasy/sci-fi worldbuilding, so that bit would be an added benefit for me.

Idon’t see a problem with that concept.

Aquick look at the biodiversity on earth shows just how much thecomfortable norm varies between species. I mean we have humboldtsquid and naked mole rats and bearded vultures. The temperature,humidity and pressure differences in their preferred environments arepretty extreme and we’re not even getting into the reallyweird life like those snails living in high salinity conditions orthe invertebrates that can survive being frozen solid.

It’sperfectly possible for an environment built and designed for one formof life to be extremely uncomfortable for another. And this wouldresult in injuries and discomfort that isn’t necessarilyintentionally inflicted.

Evenenvironments where we cancomfortably survive can be extremely painful or distressing if theindividual involved isn’t used to them.

Sofor instance- the city I grew up in had temperatures that were around30-45C (86-113F) most of the year, with humidity ranging from 30-75%.We’d also periodically get really strong winds and a lot of dust. Ispent quite a bit of time outside every day and was perfectlycomfortable.

Nowthe first time I had to play sports outside in an English winter is….Not something I’ve ever forgiven that teacher for.

Butmy class mates were perfectly comfortable that day and probably wouldhave been in a lot of pain in the conditions I considered ‘normal’.

Gettingback to the main question- I think this avoids the stereotype of hightech torture because it’s not intended as torture. Or at least thedevices and environment weren’t made to torture.

Inmuch the same way if you wanted to set an abusive scene in anaquarium and a character was thrown into a low temperature tank Iwouldn’t interpret it as a fictional use of high tech torture.Because while the tank is high tech the torturers had nothing to dowith the design, building or installation of this thing. They’recoming along later and misusing it with minimal effort.

Ithink that’s the main thing to consider when you’re trying towork out whether a scenario crosses that line: how much effort is it?Remembering that if something was made specifically to torture thenthe effort involved in the device’s creation is part of thatoverall effort.

Tortureis fundamentally lazy.

Ifyour sci fi scenario already has a way to dial up the gravity onevery space ship then it may not be much effort on the torturer’spart to fiddle with a dial and subject a victim to higher G forces.It’s building such a device specifically for torture that’s aproblematic trope.

There’snothing wrong with world building or making your setting unique anddistinct. I certainly don’t want to discourage fantasy and sci fiworld building.

ButI do want people to think about what they’re implying when theybuild their world.

We’vebecome more accustomed to doing this around issues of race, genderand sexuality. I think we should do it around violence and abuse aswell.

Becausewhat we write is rarely neutral.

Evenif we’re writing something that’s nominally set in this world assoon as we pick up the proverbial pen we start defining things. Wedefine good and bad, beautiful and ugly. We define what a supportivefamily looks like and what a healthy romantic relationship is.

Andin the case of torture what we often get is…. people who have noclear idea what torture is or what it does attempting to define it.

Iknow that most of the time this isn’t maliciously intended. It’shard to find accurate information on this subject and we’re notused to talking honestly about violence.

Partof what I’m trying to say here is that just because your story issci fi (or fantasy) you don’t have to avoidusing torture. If you’re building a world that’s completelydifferent from ours then using more unusual tortures or even tryingto make up some unique ones makes sense. Things that might not bephysically possible here might be possible in your world. I don’tsee anything wrong with exploring that.

Thetrick is to try and go into this particular bit of world buildingwith a basic understanding of what torture is like. In much the sameway that you might look up a little bit about how geography effectsclimate before you draw or fantasy map. Or how space travel works nowbefore designing your own space craft.

Offthe top of my head the main things that crop up for sci fi are thatin reality:

Torture for information does not work

Even if complex wounds can be healed the damage torture causes is long lasting

Victims are not made placid or obedient when tortured

Torture is neither complicated nor scientific.

The vast majority of the time it isn’t high tech

Torture actually takes quite a bit of time

Non-scarring tortures still cause long term damage to victims and are still torture

Torturers are lazy, the more complicated a form of abuse is the less likely it is to happen

There’salso a whole host of tropes relating to unethical experimentation orsome sort of pseudo-scientific torture. Which often seem tomisunderstand how medical testing works as well as misunderstandingtorture.

Reallythe key thing here is to get into the habit of thinking through theimplications of what you write.

Ifyou make a sci fi world with a high tech device that ‘forces’people to tell the truth by inflicting pain- then yesthat’s torture apologia because it’s suggesting that pain can‘make’ people tell the truth. Which is a real world justificationfor torture.

Ifyour fantasy world has an obedience spell that inflicts pain and alsomagically forces someone to change sides and work for the casterwillingly- that’s probably alsotorture apologia because again, it’s suggesting pain ‘makes’victims change their minds. Which is another real world justificationfor torture.

Ittakes time to get into the habit of thinking these things through andspotting the stereotypes.

It’snormal to make mistakes along the way. And it’s OK. (Believe me youdo notwant to see some of my early attempts at tackling dark themes.)

Thinkabout your story. Read about the real world issues. Practice. Ipromise you you will get better and you’ll feel more confidentabout handling these issues as you go forward.

Ihope that helps. :)

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[deeplyconflicted]

Most of the time I'm fine. I'm moving on. You don't come to mind as frequently anymore and I don't give you the tears that aren't deserved.That aren't for healing..yet after seeing you in public for the first time in a year...with her still by your side..God it hurt all over again. My heart skipped a beat as soon as I knew it was you, my stomach turned and I never wanted to escape my body as fast as I did in that moment. I moved away from you so quickly, Ducking down aisles cause I just, I couldn't. I didn't want to see you..see her. Yet every fucking turn, there the two of you are. Idek if you noticed me though. I tried hard to make sure I was aware of my surroundings and I stayed as far away as possible. I wouldn't wanna cause friction in your happy relationship now would I? Lol...fuck me. I wanted to throw up then because there was so much anxiety. Everything was closing in, I was trying so hard not to cry. Trying hard not to show what I felt Especially not in front of my current significant other. I Gotta bury that shit for later. A more private time like now... However, All the stuff I've tried so hard to work through came bubbling back up to the surface, making it feel like I'm choking and I have been for days. It's not fucking fair. I'm choking back the tears and pain of all the time we lost, how shit played out, how much I fucking miss you... and your living life like la Dee fucking da. I hate it. I wish I knew if you suffered as much as I have. Or as much as I do sometimes because my head is obnoxious....you come to mind involuntarily, I'm just trying to do dishes, not think of you. So gtfo?? I'd just wanna know, Do I burn through your mind like a match eager to wage war with the world? Cause you do.. Do you miss me?.... Probably not, why would you? That's foolish of me to think.. Idk...That's toxic thinking. All of it..I'm just tired of it..I'm tired of everything... My heart hurts again like it was day one. I have fought off unblocking you every single day. Just to see if you notice. Maybe reach out. But instead, I sit there... Rereading the last few texts to remind myself that was goodbye. There is nothing left for us.. it's the end..this is painful and I don't think you're ever going to understand. You became more than a fuck boy to me..Sure, it started out that way yes...but god damn I loved you so much..you have no idea how many times I wanted to break everything off with my ex just to be with you or how fucking close that reality even came, lol even he knew. He knew I loved you more, he was jealous of that. But wanted me happy, so why do you think he let us continue??? but you proved to me, time and time and time again I wasn't ever enough to you for me to actually make that jump. I was just someone to fuck right? We we're just friends right? I was Someone to get you off... Fuckin... Pathetic. The whole god damn thing is pathetic and it makes me feel pathetic as a person. I wish I could forget you. I wish I could erase these feelings, erase you from my memories.. I hate this. I just hope getting this off of my chest will make it better and I can get some fucking peace of mind..

[godess-of-the-void]

Numinetale Chapter 4

They group got the call from Mettaton that everything was ready at New Home Square. And before the Monsters blinked they were already there. Sans looked at VI who was still wearing her red punk outfit.

How much power does she have? I can't bring that many people through a 'shortcut', barely two others besides me! Yet she can bring this large group through one without breaking a sweat!

"Darlings! Over here!" Mettaton wheeled himself over to the group. "The stage is ready when you are! And may I say, love the puck rock look."

"Thank you Mettaton for your help. This will do quite nicely with braking the Barrier... The second time around." VI let out a sigh.

Mettaton patted the woman's shoulder, "Yes Everyone in New Home noticed that the Barrier was back. So how are we going to break it with a concert?"

"Mettaton! Mettaton!" VI wrapped her arm around the rectangular robot. "This is no ordinary concert. This is also a rematch between you and... Frisk!"

Frisk eyes lit up. They took out a pair of sunglasses out of their inventory and did a dramatic pose. They then snapped their fingers and asked for some MTT brand foods from Mettaton. You know, for ratings. Mettaton was happy to give the ambassador a Starfait and a Glamburger.

Toriel had a thoughtful look to her face. "This have something to do with SOULS growth, does it not?"

The woman giggled as she looked away from the young teen and gave the Monster Boss her full attention. "RUNE is also a video camera and will show live footage to the Surface while we are doing the show. Mettaton. We will do a warm-up with Blooky and me doing a instrumental duet." At the mentioned of his name, Napstablook appeared. "I have practice playing 'Spooktunes' with my guitar, if that's ok with you." Napstablook gave a sad looking wink and disappeared. "Then I'll sing a solo to heal and humans SOULS that is fractured to increase our chances of getting SOUL PARTICLES. Then the dance off. I will be playing my guitar during the rematch to set mood and to gather the Particles to the Underground. Any questions?"

"What are SOUL PARTICLES?" Mettaton asked.

"Napstablook! Are you set? I want to play with you before the concert to do sound check." Napstablook waved at VI from the stage. The strange woman joined the Ghost Monster. They started playing one of DJ's songs for the sound check.

Damn, they sound good! Even if it was a sound check with just a DJ turntable and a guitar, they were killing it.

Mettaton looked at his cousin with pride. But it was short lived when he remembered that no one answered his question. "What the hell are SOUL PARTICLES!?!"

***

Napstablook and VI finished their part and the plan seem to work. While VI didn't out staged the Ghost, in fact quite the opposite actually. She have the whole stage to the DJ and played mainly back up. But it was enough for some SOULS, both Monster and a few Humans, appeared over the stage.

They joined the others, "Hey, Mettaton. How's the ratings?"

The robot was ecstatic! "This little RUNE sweetheart is the best! I must have Alphys make a replica. If only we had him three years ago. Our ratings just started but a good amount of them are from the Surface!"

VI smiled and lifted her guitar, "Cleft Sharp. Lime Light. Activate." Red Electric changed to a green pop singer costume with cat ears and tail. Her guitar changed to a microphone. She returned to the stage. Her voice was strong and beautiful.

Her song was sad and uplifting. Even though it didn't seem to make sense why the song have a happy tune, there was saddness to it. The lyrics had a rhythm and flow of enthusiasms.

Muster up your courage, child

And gather your determination

You've still got a fight to win

Your journey isn't over yet

Someday I'll forget the pain of

Living in eternal darkness

Hopes and dreams will save the world

And you will be the one to do it!

VI kept singing. SOULS of the Surface and Underground was being healed. They even glowed with brighten light.

Just know, baby, I'm sorry

To put an end to our story

I know someday you'll find a way back home.

So dry your eyes, no time to cry,

Just go and save the world!

Everyone in the Underground and on the Surface felt their SOULS grew.

Muster up your courage, child

And gather your determination

You've still got a fight to win,

Your journey isn't over yet.

Though I hate to say goodbye,

I'm glad I learned to love again

I'll be gone, but you'll live on,

Just say you will.

As VI wrapped up the song not a single eye was dry. She stepped down from the stage and winked at Frisk and Mettaton. "You guys are ready?" Frisk gave a thumbs up after wiping a tear from their face. VI changed back to her Red Electric form. Mettaton also changed to his other form.

VI was the first to the stage and started to play 'Death by Glamour.' Frisk was next waving at the crowd and the RUNES followed by Mettaton Ex. The two friends struck a dramatic pose and smiled. For every heel turn they struts their stuff.

The dance was epic. And everytime the ratings dipped Frisk did an impressive pose while taking a bit out of the Glamburger or Starfait. The two swirled, dipped, and sway in extraordinary timeing and grace. But Frisk was wearing out. So the brought out of their inventory a MTT Facesteack. The ratings where off the grid and the air above the stage was filled with cartoon heart shaped SOULS of many colors and white.

VI looked above her to count the number of SOULS there and was pleased to see that she now have more than enough for bringing back the dead and breaking the Barrier.

***

Mettaton and Napstablook was playing music and dancing on stage while VI was collecting SOUL backstage. VI was contently giggling to herself, "One of each color and a Boss SOUL for the Barrier. And another one of each color with a Boss Mon-"

"You idiot! Stop! Right! Now!" VI looked at the flower with a questioning nit on her brow. "And stop looking at me like that!"

VI giggled, "Flowery, why don't you want a SOUL?"

Flowery's face puffed up, "It's not that I don't want a SOUL. It's that I don't want to give everyone false hope. Besides even if you do brought Asriel back there is the issue with Chara!"

VI scratched Flowery behind one of his petals, "I think being around so many SOULS have made a SOULESS plant have empathy." VI got up at walked back to gather more SOULS.

Color formed under Flowery's eyes, "Hey! Get back here! Idiot! You aren't even listening to me are you?" Frisk joined Flowery and asked if he was alright. "No! I am not alright! I don't want to give everyone's hopes and dreams to shatter... AGAIN!"

Flowery felt a weight of someone sitting next to him, "i can relate, bud. the unknown can be scary. losing hope is terrible. but sometimes you just have to be there, doing all that you can. sometimes you have to believe that everything is going to be alright, petals."

Flowery faced the short skeleton. He knew what he was saying. Even though Sans himself was in a dark place, he still stand tall for his loved ones. Even if it was pretend, Flowery knew. The souless plant wrapped Sans with his vines. Sans'body tensed up but only for a moment before he realised that Flowery was hugging him.

****

This will work. It has to work! Flowery was right to be concerned about Chara. This is a dangerous game I am playing.

VI was a giggling mess. All the Monster SOULS in the Underground equals to on human SOUL. Not only should the Barrier break from seven SOULS and a Boss Monster Soul, but that rule should apply also to Asriel. Easy Pesy. But what Flowery said about Chara hit her hard. And she can't stop her annoying giggling!

"VOID HUMAN! WHAT IS WRONG! YOU SEEM TO BE NERVOUS!" The taller skeleton was behind her with Undyne and Alphys.

VI smiled at the trio of friends in front of her, "Nervous, nonsense!"

"Y-you ju-just giggled..." Alphys looked at the woman. "Y-you gi-giggle when y-you are ner-nervous."

"And don't even try to deny it! I have be with my bae for to long to not notice a nervous tick!" Undyne glared at VI, "Now spill your guts, Punk!"

Alphys waved her arms at her girlfriend nervously, "U-UNDYNE! Y-you ca-can't be forceful. B-but she is r-right ab-bout your ne-nervous tick."

Sans probably noticed as well, but have more tack not to say even a pun about it...

"Guys. I think Sans is more important than my tick right now." Papyrus looked at VI with curiosity, "Papyrus, when was the last time Sans made a pun?"

Papyrus' eyes bulged out and he started to run to where he saw Sans last. Everyone followed him. The Dreemers saw them rushing somewhere and decided to go with the group. They found Sans, wrapped in vines and a teenager's arms. All three of them with tear stains on their faces.

VI sat behind the skeleton. "Well, I am truly not helping your PTSD." Sans made a noise with his non-existent throat.

"Wh-what do you m-mean PTSD? As in po-post tr-traumatic s-stress disorder?" Alphys looks at Sans with worry and guilt in her eyes. "S-sans, wh-why you didn't t-tell a-anyone?"

VI groaned, "Sorry, Sans. I take it you didn't tell them everything about the Resets."

"tibia honest, I didn't thought it was such a bonehead of a move to keep some of the Resets a secret." Sans winked.

"You don't fool me, I see right through you!" VI elbowed Sans' ribs. "You're just a boney phoney with no guts to tell anyone anything. Now everyone has a bone to pick with you."

"you really know how to get under my skin, don't you." Toriel and Frisk tried to hold back their laughter while everyone else was groaning but smiling. Sans and VI did a little staring contest before Sans got up, "fine! but only if the kid and flower helps me tell them about the Genocide Runs."

Flowery unwrap his vines from Sans body, "Deal!" Frisk not only agreed but shook Sans hand. The three told their friends everything.

***

"I-I d-don't like it! N-not one bit!" Alphys was cross about the dangers of ripping a demonic spirit of a human's body.

Toriel was deviated. One of her children is a SOULESS plant, another is a vengeful ghost, and the other possessed by said vengeful ghost. And all three are murderers. Papyrus was crestfallen that his brother was still keeping things from him. Algore felt the story was very ironic that his children killed, but felt their actions were more justified then his.

Undyne, who always seem to headbutt her way through any problem was the first to asked, "Now what?"

VI got off the ground and dusted herself off, "Time to bring back the dead!" She activated another form, this time she looks like a cross from a mad scientist and a phantom of the Opera. Behind her was a pipe organ. "This form is called Purple Keys. This can formulate or make concentrations of Souls. For example mixing one of each color of human SOULS and one Boss SOUL can either break the Barrier or change Flowery back to Asriel."

VI put the gathered SOULS in the little drawers attached to the pipes. "Or combining seven SOULS of DETERMINATION with a Boss SOUL can, in theory, will drive Chara out of Frisk's body. They will absorb the concentrated SOUL and the will to live will be so strong it will form a new human body."

She moved Flowery to a spot in front of the organ, "Don't worry Flowery. If Chara goes all Genocide, Sans will Karmic Retribution their ass."

"Most likely their be a Hyper Goner." Smirked the flower. Frisk just asked Flowery if that was a pun. "Yes, yes it was."

VI started to play on the keys. The Boss Monster SOUL glowed brightly as it was absorbing the human SOULS. Flowery still in position looked at the Boss SOUL with DETERMINATION. The Boss SOUL now filled out by the human SOULS started to move to the spot the flower was rooted. With tears in his eyes, he claimed the new SOUL.

A bright flash of light filled the area. A little goat child stands where the flower used to be. Asriel looked at his parents and hugged them with all his might. Frisk and the skeleton brothers joined in when Asriel waved them over. A defening roar of cheers appeared out of nowhere!

"Darlings! I am so sorry, but I had to use RUNE to broadcast what you all was up to." The robot explained with RUNE hovering over him.

VI marched over to Mettaton, "How dare you use my RUNE to broadcast a touching moment!" VI grabbed the metal star by the neck and whispered, "How much did you broadcast? How is the ratings? How could I have forgotten RUNE! I am so proud of you!"

A glint appeared in the robot's eyes as he whispered back, "The ratings are sky high! Everyone from here to the Surface was watching, is watching! And I started broadcasting long before Sans, the flower, and Ambassador Frisk confessed to the Genocide Runs."

VI returned to her companions, "We are not out of the woods yet! We still have Chara to bring back! In case they are planning to go Genocide on us, we better brace ourselves!"

Frisk stand at the same spot as Flowery stood. VI placed seven SOULS of DETERMINATION and the Boss SOUL in the drawers in the pipes. VI gave everyone a thumbs up. The Boss Monsters conjured their weapons and magic. Even Asriel conjured his Chaos Blades, preparing for the worse. VI played on the pipe organ. Again the Boss SOUL absorb the human SOULS, but this time the Monster SOUL have changed to a human SOUL.

The red SOUL became bright flash and a red haired child in a green and yellow sweater stepped out of the light. "Hey, Partner." They looked at the Monsters that are ready for battle. "I am not going to do anything. Don't get me wrong, I still hate humans. But, Partner, you did what Ariel and I never could. You freed the Monsters and lived in peace with the humans for three whole years." Chara hugged Frisk, "Thank you for bringing my family back."

***

My daughter is doing well I think. But there will be problems. I will make sure of that. Let's bring in more friends into the mix.