#(that 'both eyes' bit inspired by vixx hakyeon and sf9 inseong and their foreheads lol)

[kowaindar0u]

watching this video and thinking about idol au again omg ...

I think I really like the idea of yuichi being in a group (as opposed to a non-idol, though i still think he would've been recruited while doing some other behind-the-scenes job) and thinking he would be the type to secretly write & compose songs...

He might even be quite good at it. like ... shit I'm getting emotional thinking about it but ... He already writes in his diary a lot, so imagine him taking that kind of emotion and putting it into a song...

He'd write songs about anxieties, hopelessness at times, breaking down... songs he would describe as "the kind of atmosphere/surroundings i wish to have when I'm overwhelmed"... songs that just really talk about things he struggles to actually talk about ;_; ... songs for his friends...

(a song about appreciating his fellow group members, a song about a certain friend from another group with lyrics like "we don't have to say much and we're happy")

maybe at some point he surprises everyone with like. a straight-up angry song and even his close friends are like "i didn't even know you could get angry" lol

also circling back around to how he became an idol, he'd get recruited a relatively short time before debuting maybe compared to his other members, and so maybe he'd feel/actually be judged/resented about it and knows he needs to really prove he deserves to debut with them, so he'd practice and work on himself constantly ... it sounds miserable and probably kind of is but I think he would never have gone into all this or agreed to start training at all without having other people relying on him...

and oh man... i imagine his stage fright would never actually go away (again it's easier when he has members with him) but god... the first time he'd step on a stage he would be a mess like they'd look back at their debut performance especially and see him like shaking/clearly about to cry the whole time but still able to see he's giving his damned best... like he doesn't perform it well necessarily that day but it's something the members and fans look back on with a kind of endearment, especially as he gets a bit more confident onstage as they go

idk who he'd be in a group with or what kind of sound they'd have but i think whatever it is would have a lot of dramatic atmospheric type stuff (idk if that really suits him or if that's just what i like LOL but) ... like i can't imagine him really thriving well in a Poppy pop group without a lot of deeper substance (?), if not for personality/vibe reasons then because he's just got kind of a very unimpressed resting face LOL

also. can you fucking imagine. i imagine yuichi still keeping his eye covered most of the time LMAO so he'd be one member where like. one video he's got his hair parted a different way or pulled back somehow and the fans go INSANE because they get BOTH EYES

[speculative (?) gender stuff below the cut cause my brain said What If]

also i'm thinking ... maybe depending on how old yuichi is when stuff happens ... an Interesting angle ...

i know this is obviously Very Unlikely irl for several reasons but this is alternate universe of fiction so .

1 ) maybe he discloses to his company upon being recruited that he's trans like "i didn't say anything when i worked here as [whatever he did before, maybe stylist help] because i need Job but i don't think i can go in front of People being misgendered i would not survive" so they help him transition (yet another driving factor for his hard work afterwards) before debut ...

OR ...

2 ) maybe he initially debuted in a girl group that didn't really pan out, and after disbandment he Transed his Gender and re-debuted in a boy group...

Inch Resting ....

in 2, i think like...obviously his time in that first group would have been ... really REALLY hard, fucking miserable, not only for dysphoria reasons but because the group just could not find success-- perhaps their company was shitty-- but i think he wouldn't hold any disdain for like... fans of that group, those members, and the songs they performed together? like he'd still be friends with them if they wanted, and he'd even do reunion perfromances with them omg lol ...

okay actually i like this concept. and maybe after the first group fails he does go back to being a "civilian" and then 1 happens and ... !!

yuichi my beloved

idol yuichi i stan u