#(sometimes telling yourself you arent going to show anyone the project helps!

[gliphyartfan]

Lately I've been feeling bad and feel like I'm going to hurt myself again. I want to know how you think yan Chain would react to a reader self-harming, I just need a little comfort :b

Hey there sweetpea , thank you for trusting me with your feelings. I’ll do my best to bring you a smile!

So, how I think the Chain would react?

Hmm

Well:

TIME wouldn’t let anything slip past his notice. The moment he saw evidence of self-harm, his almost deceptively calm tone would freeze them in place. ‘What have you done to yourself?’

Time would try to keep things calm around Reader.

He wouldn’t demand answers right away, they’d definitely be startled at being caught, he’d let them. come to him.

He’d tell them that when they were doing stoped then and there, like He says it softly, but his tone leaves no room for argument.

Whether it’s his hand resting gently on Reader’s shoulder or sitting quietly in the same room, he’d make sure they know they’re not alone.

he’d kneel in front of Reader, take their hands gently, and assure them that he’s here to stay, no matter what.

He’d quietly remind them that pain is temporary and that leaning on him, on them, is okay.

-

For WIND?

He’d immediately want to take charge, pulling Reader into a tight hug and whispering assurances and how Reader should have to feel so miserable as to want to do that.

He’d go out of his way to cheer them up, his antics sometimes over tha top but always sincere and concerned. Whether it’s telling stories, cracking jokes, or planning little adventures away from the group when they want space, he’d do whatever it takes to see Reader happy again. Cause beneath his playful actions, he’s deeply worried about them.

His yandere tendencies might slip through in how much he needs to see Reader happy. If they seem down, he won’t rest until he’s made them smile again, even if it means going overboard.

—

WARRIORS would mask his worry with charm, trying to keep things, ya know, happy and casual and upbeat to take Reader’s mind off their pain. But his concern would show in the way he watches them, his sharp eyes never missing a thing.

He’d focus on removing anything harmful from their reach while reassuring them that he wasn’t upset, just…worried (and hurt, and scared of the possibilities if he hadn’t caught them)

He’d start to insist on walking them everyone when the others arent around, pulling them close if he senses any danger, even if it’s just his overactive imagination.

He’d be a bit more touchy…holding their hand more, patting their shoulders and head, it’s all casual but it remains him they’re still ok.

——

FOUR would likely notice the signs before anyone else, his observant nature catching even the smallest details. He’d approach Reader cautiously, his voice soft as he asked if tehy were okay.

He’d of course, would be devastated but wouldn’t show it outwardly. Instead, he’d focus on what he could do to help, his hands steady as he tended to their wounds if they had any.

His colors would react differently. All equally worried, all equally wanting to comfort Reader. Maybe they accidentally overwhelm them and after that little mistake they take turns spending time with Reader.

Red wouod make flower chains with Reader.

Green would take them on walks.

Vio and surprisingly Blue, would have quiet moments. The two would just hang around while Reader did their own thing. (Kinda like how cats hang around each other without bothering one another? Like that!)

They’d definitely channel theur emotions into creating something for Reader, maybe a charm, a piece of jewelry? something tangible to remind Readee of their worth. His actions would speak louder than words.

Four when whole would keep close, offering quiet but unwavering support. If Reader needed a distraction, he’d work on a small project beside them, his presence a quiet reminder that they’renot alone.

——-

TWILIGHT would be devastated but wouldn’t show it outwardly. He’d, after making sure they won’t bolt in fear, immediately scoop Reader up in his arms, holding them tightly as if that alone could shield them from harm.

He’d be both heartbroken and angry, at himself for not protecting them better and at the world for making them feel this way.

Reader would feel like Twi’s entire world revolves around keeping them safe, even if it means following them everywhere (on two legs or four) or sleeping by their door at night. (Though if them want him in the room so they can snuggle, he definitely wouldn’t decline)

———

WILD wouldn’t say anything at first, his eyes taking in every detail. He’d carefully tend to their wounds with a mix of gentleness and…I’m gonna say delicate-ness? It’s just very careful. his hands steady even as his emotions were all over the place beneath the surface. his expression unreadable as he took the time to process what was happening. Then he’d gently pull Reader into a very gentle hug, his arms trembling slightly.

He’s become even more protective, Reader would catch him watching them constantly, his eyes always scanning for any signs of distress.

He’d channel his guilt into action, He’ll “accidentally” leave little gifts for them, freshly cooked meals, rare ingredients, trinkets he scavenged. and staying by Reader’s side as much as he could.

———-

LEGEND might not know the right words to say at first, he’s probably really caught off guard at what he catches sight of. But when Reader is looking at him in fear and trying to hide the evidence of what they’ve done, his actions would speak volumes. He’d take charge, patching up any wounds with gentle hands.

(He’d pretend his hands weren’t shaking, taht they weren’t betraying how deeply affected he truly was.)

He’d keep them company, even if he isn’t sitting right next to Reader, he’d be within their view. He’d take their hand and guide them away if he noticed them stressing out. He’d tell them stories of his adventures, small things that would bring a fragile smile on Reader’s face. And even if it isn’t bring a smile, it’d give them something to focus on. Something to ground them as them calm down.

And when Reader is calm and relaxed, he’d sit close and quietly admit how much he cares, how much Reader’s mere presence is worth to him and his life.

————

SKY would react with a mix of sadness and internal fury, fury at himself for not noticing sooner. He’d gently take their hands in his, brushing over any scars or fresh wounds, his voice trembling as he tells Reader it’s going to be alright.

He’s…not familiar with someone who has gone through this. If there was anyone like that in Skyloft, well…he never caught wind of it. So he’s very very terrified by this.

He’d be sleeping next to Reader that night…tho I doubt he’s sleep, probably watching how their chest rises and falls, scared that the rhythm would suddenly stop if he looked away.

Sky would be endlessly patient once he gathers himself, his warm, gentleness would be a constant source of comfort. He’d sit beside Reader, holding their hand if they let him, and quietly let them know it’s okay to feel whatever they are feeling.

He’d shower them with small, tender gestures, braiding their hair if it’s long, bringing them flowers, or playing his harp softly to them.

Sky might slip up by being overly protective, like insisting they stay close to him at all times. But he’d easily back off (for a little while at least) when Reader brings it up. Just wanting them comfortable and happy.

————-

HYRULE would be devastated.

He’d immediately try to take care of them, healing magic at the ready to heal any wounds. Gentle but practically pleading in a trembling voice if there are any other injuries he should know about.

He’d apologize frequently if Reader shows any signs of pain. He’d hold their hands afterwards, thumbs on their wrists, most likely focusing on the warmth and pulse beneath.

He tries not to hover, but it’s hard not to when his every instinct tells him to protect them.

If Reader ever tries brushes off his concerns to ask him not to worry, he’d..well not accept that.

“Don’t…don’t…lie to me. Please…even if you want me away from you for the moment, I’d rather you be honest…I just want to help.”

Hyrule would shower them with affection, his actions almost frantic as he tried to show them how much they mean to him. But he’s also holding back, scare he’ll push them away when they are already fragile in a way his magic can’t heal.

He wants them better, but he knows how terrible the fight against one’s mind can be. All he can do is be there by Reader’s side.

—————

Reader might not even notice at first, but slowly, anything that could be used to hurt themselves would disappear or get replaced with safer alternatives.

Legend quietly pockets sharp objects or anything suspicious without mentioning it. Four might ‘ upgrade’ certain tools so that they’re less dangerous (and not tell them why).

They are gonna be very focused on limiting access to anything harmless they’re trying not to make Reader feel like their autonomy’s being stripped.

They know nights are hard, so Reader would often find one or two of them staying up a bit later, coincidentally near wherever they’re sleeping.

Twilight might claim he’s just reading by the fire, while Warriors hovers at the edge of camp, but both keep an ear out for any sign of distress.

If Reader wakes up from a nightmare or dark thoughts, they’re immediately there, offering water, a blanket, or just a quiet ear.

They’ll all be aware that sometimes Reader’s thoughts get dark. So they plan little distractions, Wind invites you for a short stroll, Hyrule shares a story from his travels, or Wild asks for help with cooking or someone to tag along as he wanders around (if they’re up for it).

If Reader ever express guilt for worrying them, they instantly (almost too quickly) jump in with reassurance. Because guilt is a slippery slope that keeping spiraling down with great difficulty getting out of it.

They actively hold back on their more intense behaviors. Time wants to command Reader to stay put, but he softens his tone. Warriors wants to lecture them into next week, but he bites his tongue. Twilight’s instincts scream to keep them locked away safe, but he chooses to give them space.

Each hero attempts to give Reader breathing room, but they also catch themselves hovering, exchanging quick looks when Reader moves out of sight

They want Reader to feel cherished, protected, and above all, happy and alive. So they’ll do everything they can to accommodate and accomplish that.

[deobienthusiast]

patty, patty

• pairing: kim sunwoo (the boyz) x reader

• word count: 1,282 words

• genre: established relationship, fluff, comedy

• rating: G

• warnings: sunwoo being a cute tease

• notes: arent we all whipped for this sweet sweet boy??? i’ve yet to meet someone who isn’t, so don’t talk to me if you aren’t☺️

• requested: yes | no by anon

Days with your boyfriend, Sunwoo were quite rare. His job kept him away for days, weeks, sometimes months on end. When he had free time, he always made sure to spend it with you. You two hadn’t been together long, but you were beginning to pick up on some of his mannerisms. For instance, his constant habit of patting your head.

You’re not sure when it happened. Sunwoo isn’t someone who shows his emotions that much. You could tell in the early stages of the relationship. This being both of yours first relationships, you two were still learning things. Learning things about yourselves and about each other. For instance, Sunwoo was still trying to figure out your favorite color. You were still trying to figure out why Sunwoo wouldn’t admit that Eric was his best friend despite all the signs pointing in that direction (quite frankly you thought he was just being mean to the poor boy).

Sunwoo wasn’t big on PDA or over the top gestures. That’s when you realized the head pats were his form of PDA. You couldn’t get a peck on the cheek out of him, but rather a gentle pat to the head with his hand. He always gave you head pats. Sunwoo even said the cutest thing ever when he patted your head.

“Patty, patty.” Sunwoo whispered as he entered your apartment, patting your head.

Your roommate was gone for the weekend, leaving you to yourself. This proved to be the perfect opportunity to spend time with your boyfriend. Sunwoo smiled as you spoke.

“Busy week, Woo?” You asked him, noticing the tiredness in his eyes.

He shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Frowning, you spoke again. “You could’ve stayed at the dorm. I don’t want to be a bother.”

Sunwoo’s big brown eyes doubled in size as he shook his head. “No! You’re not. I wanted to come here and spend time with you. You also gave me a break from Eric.”

His statement made you snicker as his smile reappeared, bringing his hand up to pat your head again.

“You love Eric.” You said, turning to head towards your living room.

Your boyfriend followed in stride as he mumbled. “Don’t tell anyone that.”

Smiling to yourself, you plopped onto the couch. Sunwoo sat down next to you, leaving a respectful amount of space between the two of you. You both were still close, but not on top of each other. Turning a movie you both like on, Sunwoo looked over at you. He wouldn't admit because it would make him seem like a creep, but he liked to just watch you. This helped him pick up on your mannerisms, like the way you bit your lip when focusing on something. The way your eyebrows furrowed when you were listening to someone talk to you. How the corners of your mouth would twitch each time you got ready to smile.

You didn’t realize it, but Sunwoo did. His head pats weren’t warranted for no reason. He loves those little things you unconsciously did, and his head pats were ways of telling you that. It was always when he greeted you, or you finished a conversation. When you both finished a project together, like not ruining the kitchen when baking muffins. Or when painting your room a new color didn’t turn into a paint war because with Sunwoo, that’s inevitable.

As if feeling Sunwoo’s eyes on you, you giggled. “Can I help you Woo?”

His head shot forward as he went back to watching the movie. This time it was your turn to stare. Now, the cliché saying nobody is perfect was always thrown around, but come on, Sunwoo had to be, if not close to perfection. He had large, brown doe-like eyes and full pink lips. He had quite the sharp jawline and the cutest nose. His deep black hair fell softly upon his head, and just as softly as it fell, it felt just as soft. His skin was the perfect golden tan, and he was built like a greek god. In your eyes, Sunwoo was perfect. To each other, you both were perfect.

As the movie went on, Sunwoo started to get antsy. From his leg constantly tapping to finding a more comfortable position on the couch. You wondered how much longer he’d continue on before finally just reaching for his hand. Sunwoo froze as he looked over at you. You were looking at your conjoined hands before feeling a pat on your head.

“Y-you, you’re holding my hand.” Sunwoo said.

“You were moving too much. I thought it would help you focus.” You whispered.

Sunwoo’s eyes drifted to your intertwined fingers as he smiled slightly. “Your hand is warm.”

Laughing, you smiled. “So is yours.”

Sunwoo quickly let go of your hand to kiss his own, as you gave him a confused look.

“Sunwoo, you kissed your own hand.” You said.

The boy nodded as he patted your head. “Now I kissed your forehead.”

The action made you break into a smile as Sunwoo grinned. “Smooth, Woo. Real smooth.”

He chuckled as he brought his hand back down to wrap around yours. The two of you finished the movie you were watching with no more interruptions besides Sunwoo letting go of your hand every so often to give you “forehead kisses”. As the movie wrapped up, you went to stand, but Sunwoo’s grip on your hand made it hard.

“Sunwoo, I want to change the movie.” You said softly.

“I’ll change it,” He countered, making you raise a brow. “As long as you come with me.”

Rolling your eyes, you smiled. “Okay.”

Sunwoo let go of your hand quickly to pat your head once more before gripping your hand in his again. He walked the both of you over to the movie stand as his free hand skimmed the movies. Each title appeared and disappeared with each swipe of his fingers across the spines of the cases before he stopped on one. Pulling it out, he smiled.

“Beauty and The Beast, really?” You asked him.

A pout grew on his full lips. “It’s the live action one.”

Sunwoo’s eyes turned into puppy dog eyes as you giggled. “Fine. We can watch it.”

He let go of your hand to cheer silently prompting you to pat his head. The gesture made him stop, making you think you did something wrong.

“Did you just pat my head?” He asked.

You nodded slowly. “You do it to me all the time. I thought I’d return the favor.”

A large smile grew on Sunwoo’s face as he pulled you in for a hug without thinking. Your face grew hot at the sudden contact. Sunwoo never initiated any form of contact besides his head pats, so this was new territory. His arms tightened around you before he realized what he was doing.

“A-am I hugging you?” Sunwoo asked.

You nodded, laying a kiss on his clothes chest before wrapping your own arms around his torso, pulling him even closer.

“Can I be honest?” You asked, making him him with a gulp.

“I prefer your hugs to your head pats, Sunwoo!” You told the boy as his hold tightened some more.

You were met with silence before feeling what felt like a cloud land on the top of your head. Instead of a forehead pat, Sunwoo gave you an actual kiss on the forehead, making both your cheeks burn.

“You prefer the hugs, I prefer the kisses.” Sunwoo whispered with a red hue decorating his face.

Giggling, you looked at him. “I guess you should start saying ‘kiss, kiss’ now, huh?”

Sunwoo smiled. “I still like patty, patty better.”

[stvllioner]

hey guys, i just wanted to speak up about something because i have been getting questions if i was well and stuff and im not really sure these days. mainly because i have become uncomfortable on this blog.

and i beg that people who dont like me, please do not spread things about me please or this because i thought i owe this to my followers.

the reason as to why i feel uncomfortable is because it really dawned upon me that being here doesnt make me happy anymore. and you could see in how flat my writing has become, or how my behavior often changes from happy to sad/low in a quick second.

and since after the summer, being on here has been almost terrible for me. like i use to have many friends, many people i talked to or felt like i created a bond with a lifetime, just kind of up and left me in the dust. while i finally took the time to focus on me for once, they used it against me, they got mad at me and its just hard to keep quiet about since it has always been my goal to talk about my feelings and now i dont think i can anymore, as to why im writing this to you guys tonight..

i will not get into depth (or specific) about it because i feel like the more i try to explain myself, the more twisted it becomes. and instead of helping me, it hurts me.

over the few months, i found when i was taking breaks to be happier. 

and its not the thought of you guys, it was more of like the lingering feeling of the way i was treated by people lingering on my blog. and im afraid if i feel like this still holds truth, i will be leaving this blog sooner or later.

in truth, i feel like ive been mistreated or even to the point where my feelings were so construed that it felt like i have been gaslighted over and over and over again. and honestly i am not as mentally or emotionally mature as many people on here, and some of them know that but it was never regarded.

im sad that this experience has come to this, because i really loved interacting, interacting with everyone and sharing my stories, but with the bad experiences on here has even turned my love/passion for writing down -- and even watching anime. i feel reminded every time i see certain blogs all over my feed, or like “hey im safe with these group of people” then they would pop up again. i felt like im some sort of villain or like an unintelligent-idiot who cant think for themselves. and while people who brainlessly follow those people can blindly hate me is fine, because i will never change who i am for anyone. ever. and i hate having to make posts like these because i feel bad for being so angsty and not being the sav that you guys know because while the brand “savnofilter” or “sav” is an extension of me, i sometimes feel so detached because of how shut out ive fell in this fandom for like 5 months now.

and i sincerely apologize to any new followers, i use to not be this down all the time but it really has been brought to my attention that the only social media that has heightened my anxiety, my depression, and even a part of illnesses i thought went away has resurfaced all because of what has happened associated to this blog.

whether it be being shut out and begging for help from the people i thought would be friends, or that i was kicked to the curve simply because i was not in the right state of mind and basically told me it was my fault for being that way.

and when it was fun, when i had friends it never felt like a chore for me on here. but as i lose support like that, it just hurts even though i have someone who stays beside me all the time. once you lose that, that, ground you start to compare yourself, like normal human nature i think. i started too look at my blog and be like “why arent i getting as much as before, what am i doing wrong, what is so bad about my stuff thats good with theres”. and part of the factor was that its odd, because it wasnt even a place of jealousy. it was one of, how did i fall to be so unimportant? so... immaterial. and it was like, each writer i fell out with, everyone just followed them and im left here trying my best to fill in their spots because i missed having that friend group, or friends with me. the only who really cared for me even with the biggest arguments and hoenstly it was because they were the only the one that cared for me. and i am not trying to cause discourse so please do not contact other people about this.

and as much as i stay at this point to irk the people who want me gone, i feel like the subtle unintentional (or intentional) bad vibes being brought to me is choking me up. and its doing well.

it just, it was so odd being treated like actual shit. like dog dooky shit. like if i was the poop on the sidewalk that you walk around and wonder who fucking took that massive shit, shit. and i was afraid to speak up about it because i was afraid of the backlash id get for having fucking feelings. 

from someone who went through some shit when i was younger, and built this barrier, to being repeatedly told over and over again that my feelings are invalid, to have people to tell me “i wont do that too you” and then do it to me just made me grow as a person. or die as a person. im not sure yet.

not only was it a mixture of people leaving me for shitty reasons, it was how stupid this fandom got. yeah, stupid. completely idiotic. of course there are people who sense-ful(?) and i love you a lot for it. but like ive said before, its unfair, there is no love like there use to be. people arent how they use to be. people put on a show, but once behind close doors its completely different. and if youre thinking of anyone in specific, youve got some shit to reevaluate. 

i was so scared to talk about it before because i was so scared at the backlash id get because i was so tired for being the hurt one and being called the bad guy. and im not blind to me being a bitch, but when i feel like ive done something im upfront about it. im rambling but this happens when i finally let my thoughts out.

and if ive been truthful, ive fallen out of my routine with meeting up with my therapist which may one of the reasons i let it run on this long without really getting a clear conscience. and like ive said before, i had thought it had to do with my life but honestly the only grief i get is being on here. 

to be honest, i have projects and requests i really want to complete before i even leave. so maybe its a while before i leave, maybe if it gets too much i’ll just go. i do not know. but 2020 is the year i finally want to take my own health over everyone else before i did before. and even with how hurt i am, i still hold so much love for these people. so much. but ive always been too loyal.

i am sorry for this sorrowful note, but i do not know how much longer i will stay. i love you all, have a blessed night.

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

K-Pop life lessons (2 year old blog anniverary project)

I believe that music is something that can bring people together. I believe that the musicians we listen too and the things they create can teach us things. This goes for every genre, not just K-Pop. But there is a stigma around K-Pop of it just being men and women dancing around singing about ice cream, rainbows and happiness. It can be that, but it can be incredibly meaningfull and the artists teach us things. 

Here are some things I have learned: 

Monsta X , BTOB and Seventeen taught me that family isn’t just blood, it can go further than that. Your friends can become your family. 

SHINee and VIXX taught me that it’s perfectly fine to go against the grain of what others do. As long as you stay yourself. 

Day6 taught me that it’s okay to feel alone sometimes, but in the end you are never truly alone. 

Sistar, Girl’s Generation, AOA, Mamamoo etc have taught me that it’s okay to be confident and speak my mind when I feel like I am being done wrong. 

Here are some life lessons that other Kpop fans have chosen to share with me

“stray kids taught me that it's perfectly okay to be sad, depressed, or have anxiety because there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and so there's so many people just like me”

-@lysss-xo

“Super Junior taught me how to smile and laugh again after I had spent so much time barley going through the motions.”

-signed, A Shy Male ELF.

“VIXX and BTS taught me that even when you might feel down and think that nothing matters, eventually everything is going to get better.”

-        @michelleherrera16

“Day6 taught me that’s it’s okay to go at my own pace and everyone can feel lonely and thats okay Stray Kids thought me that everyone feels lost at some point and going into adulthood is scary and longing to go back to the easier days is normal”

-@its-simply-me19

“BTS taught me that I can't always think about everyone else, I'm young and I have my own dreams to go after. If I need it, I'll take the time to sort my sht out. That's thanks to SUGA's 'Nevermind'. Mikrokosmos made me realize I have a reason for being here right now, and my existence does matter. These two songs had lyrics that pulled me out of suicidal thoughts i'd been dealing with for 6 years. It’s so weird that certain lyrics had that effect on me. Although I still have depression and social anxiety, I’m slowly getting over it. I’m finding myself.”

-@moonkiddionysus17

“This is pretty basic, but BTS and Got7’s Jackson are teaching me to love myself since I hate myself to my core. It’s a long road but I know I’ll get there eventually ❤️⭐️”

-@broken-scene-queens 

“I know this isnt strictly what you asked butVixx and esp, Hakyeon inspire me. I see him being a leader and helping his members, vlogging, serving his country, moving out, spending time with friends and family, doing charity work in a very super low key way, being kind, gracious and just a lovely human being and it reminds me that's what I need to be. I want to inspire and carry myself with the level of maturity and grace he has.”

-anon

“Wanna One taught me the right way to life with memories, to not get stuck in the past holding onto memories crying because they're not coming back, instead I've learned to treasure memories and see them as something beautiful without pain, but with a smile on my face.”

-Anon

“VIXX and BTS showed me that there is nothing wrong with being sexually dominant and identifying as a woman -- their subby concepts gave me metaphorical wings. (my name is Coral but I don't have a tumblr I just check yours sorry)”

-Anon

“Monsta x and Dreamcatcher taught me to never give up on your dreams, no matter what anyone says, the amount of pain and heatbreak, or how long it takes. Dreamcatcher specifically taught me that it is okay to start over if what you were doing in your life did not turn out to be what you wanted. Sometimes it takes a little more time to figure yourself out before you are happy. ( Their story of how they went from Minx to Dreamcatcher really inspires me)”

-@brieflycraftycollectoruniverse 

“N.flying taught me that it’s okay to be weird, out of the box, and different. Taught me how to accept my weird personality and find others that accepted it as well.”

-anon

“So for me, it was VIXX. They were my first group and they came into my life at the right time. I had hit an all time low with my depression. 'Error' distracted me from the bad in the world and it was through them that I learned that there was still beauty in the world. Their lyrics inspired and Ravi in particularly inspired with his own struggles and his outlooks on life. I don't think I would be here or at least as happy as as stable as I am if it wasn't for them.”

-Anon

“A lot of the groups have fought me the families don’t end in blood, that you can make your own if needed, mainly 17 and Victon”

-🦋 anon

“iKON, EXO, and Monsta X taught me what a real family looks like, and how to support my fam through thick and thin. The most important lesson is that family doesn't end with blood, and sometimes it doesn't even start with blood. After all, the blood from a pact with your real family will always be thicker than the water of the womb.”

-@wynnewriteshq

“Red Velvet didn't really teach me much, but they gave me a reason to smile. Wendy said this on VLIVE a little after RV's 5th anniversary: "I will always be there for you, I will be there even when you leave because you can always come back to me." (paraphrasing) It made me cry a little on the inside because I found them the summer before I started high school. It was really rough but I had their music to make me happy.”

-Anon

“Tbh I got into kpop at a crazy time I'm a young mom and I felt so out of touch with who I am. It was more than one group, but the combination of "fun thing for me " and BTS had just started the love yourself series... it meant the world to me to remind myself that the me that exists under "mom" was worth love too.”

-Anon

“Got7 taught me that it's okay to have fun while chasing your dreams and ambitions. You're not doing anything wrong while having fun cause you're still on the path you wanna go. Even if there are people that don't believe in your dreams remember that you're doing for yourself, not for them. Do what makes you happy.”

-@ahgasedaa-mark

“Blackpink taught me to be the badass woman i am today. I think without them i would still be in my shell of depression and fear. Got7 didnt teach me anything they saved my life. Their music calms me and makes me feel loved with saying how beautiful, amazing, and perfect you are in their lyrics. I know it may sound cliche but their music has helped me a lot feel beautiful and good about myself. Bts did the same. both got7 and bts had taught me that i deserve better. They became my safe space when i have panic attack. They both helped me get me out of sexually abusive relationship and helped me gain the friends i have today. I have great friends that arent toxic and a closer relationship with my mom. I even met my boyfriend because without got7 and bts words i would have never gotten out of my house, get on dating sights, and go to japan. They have helped me immensely when i used to be shut in.”

-@kpopluvwriter

“RM of BTS reminded me that I love writing poetry to express the things I can't tell anyone. TOP of BIGBANG showed me that someone with anxiety issues can still do anything. Most of all, most of the groups I love have given me a community I can trust with more than just Kpop stuff- I feel safe telling fellow Kpop stans that I'm trans and nonbinary because I've seen such a supportive and loving community here.”

-Anon

“Kpop fan culture has taught me that you will always have a friend if you need one. Also that if someone is in distress another WILL come to help. Stray Kids, Bts, Seventeen etc.: have taught me that it’s okay to love myself and that if they love me I should love myself too.”

-@skylarrae168

��Stray kids taught me to never give up no matter how long it's going to take, it's okay to take your time and that no matter what I'm going through everything is going to be okay. Bts taught me that's it's okay to not have a dream and to just do whatever makes me happy and they also taught me how to be myself...like I should be always be myself and that there is nothing 'wrong' with me...if that make sense”

-@paigsa

“Kpop has taught me a lot of things subtly over the past couple years. But the ones I can really pick out are that. It taught me how not to give up on life when things get tough but just step back. It taught me how and when to cut out toxic people from my life. It taught me that I can still do so much despite my mental health and that my mental illnesses don't define me. It's also inspired me to start drawing again after a long bout of art block.”

-@z-stitch

“Kpop as a whole has taught me to be myself, to live more creatively and not to hide anymore.”

-@harmonal

Alot of these brought me to tears and I am so glad you all decided to participate in this and I really appreciate it. Please stick with me for the years to come ♥

[mare-sanguis]

A little Bill x Stan headcanon ♡ Self harm and depression~

The final fight was one month ago- and finally everyone was healing. 

Even the wounds on Stans face were gone. Only some scars were left.

Scars which would remind him of what happened- for the rest of his life.

They all really tried their best to get their shit together. They tried to meet up as often as possible to share their thoughts.

But some things were still left unspoken.

And especially Stan had them worried.

He wasnt the loudest of them all- but he also was never this quiet.

It just happened suddenly. The last day they saw him he seemed happy- never thought that something like this would follow.

But they cared to much to let it unspoken.

Bill was the first one to ask him.

"Stan- I... w-we all were w-wondering if everythings a-alright with you? Are y-you ok?"

Stan wasnt prepared for it, he just looked around in his friends group in confusion- didnt know how to answer because for him, for them, he wanted to be fine. To be ok.

"I'm good. Thanks. But why do you ask?"

"Because one day you were happy and now... youre like this." Eddie said, while dealing with some shit Richie was doing, muttering some swear words.

"Like this? Like how?"

It was Mikes turns. "Like... very lost in thoughts." Ben nooded to it.

"Everybody has a bad day sometimes. Dont you think?"

It was followed by silent noods- but they all knew well enough that it wasnt just one bad day.

And they were right. He didnt change. And it made them even more worried.

They were at the Quarry, in the water, the first time it happened. The first time they didnt know what to do. But it wasnt the last time.

Stan was the only one who wasnt in the cold blue water, that too worried the others. He instead was sitting at the small rock near by it- watching his friends having the time of their life, reading a book. And suddenly, it just hitted him.

The realisation that he could have lost his friends that day- that they could have died because of this psychopathic clown- hit him right in his face. It wasnt the best time, not the best moment and he hated himself for tearing the good mood down- everyone was laughing until they heard the soft sobs.

They all turned their heads in Stans direction, seeing him sitting there- looking completely lost, with the tears streaming down his face. He tried to calm down as quick as possible, to wipe away the tears- but his friends were faster and his tears and emotions too.

Bev got out of the water first and sat down next to him, followed by the others. Bev was like the mother of the group- always the first one when something was wrong. Always the one who understood the fastest.

"Whats wrong?" She placed a hand on his head and patted it. He didnt flinched, still tried to wipe the tears away.

"I dont know I... I just... my mind just keeps showing me pictures of you... all dead. We could have died that day..."

Everyone looked a bit shocked, but Bev just smiled.

"Well... we could have but we didnt. Because as a team we're strong enough to defeat who ever we want."

Stan just starred at the pages of the book, trying to calm himself down by thinking how stupid his behavior was now.

"I'm so sorry to bring the mood down like this. You should get back to where you all stopped." He whispered.

"No. We wont. Not until you stop crying and not until you stop making us worry." This time it was Richie. And his words were so true. It was like the first time he said something without joking.

"We see whats going on with you- we noticed the change right away." Eddie said.

"Was it really that obvious?"

"Well yeah it was."

Stan smiled a bit- and then Bill touched his hand, seeing Stan like this made him upset. Very upset. He was used to his his emotional outbursts but this time it was so different. It was pure and full of worries. He wasnt mad at anyone- he looked so different.

"We will h-help you through i-it. Thats a promise."

Stan smiled more. But he was still hurt inside- and his friends knew.

 

"Lets go back home." Ben said, just one hour later. Stan was still a mess and his eyes still red but he finally could see straight again. They nooded in agreement, packed up their things and headed back on the road, separating. Stan was ready to leave to but Bill stopped him right away.

"If you want... you... can come over. M-my parents arent home... until tomorrow morning."

Stan tiled his head slightly.

"I... dont know. I cant. Probably."

Eben if he looked like he was ok- he wasnt. His strange behavior wasnt the only thing that changed. It was summer- and he was still wearing long sleeves.

"Why not?"

"My father wont let me I guess. I should go now." He forced a smile on his face.

"Maybe next time." There still was it. This forced smile. Bill saw it clearly- and he didnt want to let Stan go like this.

So he grabbed his arm- he didnt put much force in it but it made Stan flinch anyway. He hissed out a quiet breath and pulled his arm away- rubbig it slightly.

"W-what was that S-stan...?" Bill sounded worried, tried not to stutter.

"What was what? Its my arm."

"How you... r-reacted to it. Why?"

"I just hit my arm by accident. Hurts a little- you know."

Bill nooded- didnt want to bother him more. He wanted to leave him alone, to let him go. But when he saw the red on his sleeve he knew he couldnt let him go. Not now and not like this.

"Whats this?" He pointed at the red spot on Stans sleeve. He heard him swearing a little "shit".

"Blood... I guess?" He wanted to sound like he doesnt know.

"Why? Were does it come from, Stan?"

"I dont know?"

They both didnt notice that Bill didnt even stuttered once.

"Stan what is it? What did you do?"

Stan turned away from him.

"Nothing." He rubbed the blood away as it dripped down his hand.

"Youre to honest t-to be a good l-liar. Youre hurting yourself."

"I'm not." He stepped away from his friend, tears starting to surface up again. Sobs escaping him.

And then he felt a soft hug around him.

"I told you. We will help. Thats a promise. What ever it is. Thats w-why we're friends."

Stan returned the hug, tried to calm down.

"Lets get h-home... and take c-care of your wounds."

Stan followed him home in silence, to awkward to speak a word. As they arrived home at Bills he straight went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit, leaving the other boy awkwardly standing in the floor.

"Lets go to my room." He heard Bill saying and Stan followed him up. His arm hurt likr hell, it was burning.

They sat down on the floor.

"Show m-me please..." he held out his hand.

Stan looked at it, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"You dont have to feel uncomfortable." Bill smiled a bit.

"Fine." Stan rolled up his sleeve, revealing a deep cut which was bleeding again.

"Oh Stan..." the other boy sighed.

"Why?"

Stan looked down.

"I dont know."

"I-is it b-vecause of IT...?"

"No... it was more than one month ago... how can it be related to this thing...?"

"Then... why...?"

Stan shrugged.

"Dont tell anyone."

"I wont. B-but... shat ever b-bothers you... what e-ever it is... I'll ... we'll help you. I promise."

Stan smiled.

"And what ever keeps you up at night... you have us Bill...~"

They both smiled at each other as Bill fixed the bandages.

 

And what remains is the shadow of my past

I look in the mirror and hate what I see

I don't recognise my face anymore

And wonder where all of my dreams are gone

Feeling lost and empty

I know I can't turn back time

But I just don't want to give up

I can't give up.

Notes:

The lyrics at the end are from Lacuna Coils new single "Save Me"

[matronaa]

Jungkook “fuckboy?” drabble

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 1,637

Genre: Fluff/mentions of smut?

Okay look its about 1 in the morning while im writing this and i just got done literally scrolling thru @jungshookz  e n t i r e page and honestly ive been delusionally laughing over her stories for like an hour and a half like the tattooartist!jungkook fic legit killed me i love it  and i’m probably going to force my friend to check her out because legit i love it so much and she seems like such a funny person and if she sees this 1) ily and ur writing and i wanna be friends but idk how to start a conversation because im a awKwARd bEan and 2) im sorry for probably spamming ur notifications with likes okay i couldnt help it so now im inspired for the first time in a while to write but im way to loopy to put together an actual fic so enjoy this ig

Okay i should stop rambling (okay just note that im so sleep deprived that i had to google ‘words for excessive talking’ to remember the word rambling because im an idiot and i cant think and ooo its 1:11 am rn make a wish b*tches)

Okay im sorry ill begin~

A/n all of this is completely unedited and if bad grammar annoys you srry not srry

Lets talk about what fuckboy!jungkook is oki

I feel like in reality there are just a bunch of rumors about him but hes so smol and hes the quiet type so he doesnt have the energy to dismiss them

Like im sorry soft jungkook is way to good in my mind rn okay #cuddles4days im not in the mood for him to strangle me with his amazing biceps

Anyway

you never rlly met him in the 4 years of going to the same highschool as him (since you’re in those smart people classes like humanities) until senior year

You and him had the same AP Lit. class lmao english class is  l i t

Which surprised you bc of the rumors like i thought he was a badboy ?? arent those normally idiots ??

Nah my bby is a smart nugget, he just likes to look hella bf 25/8

First day of school cliche where you show up late to class and have to sit next to him because i  d i e  for those plots okay

But you dont know thats him because you’ve never seen him, so you’re confused on why most of the girls keep glaring at you

But soon enough you catch on and you’re like fml

And then the professor is like “where you are sitting is your assigned seating for the rest of the year” and you’re like f m L

He ends up introducing himself to you because i mean like table buddies

But hes really nervous because hes a cute little bean and you’re hella cute cuz lets be honest ur probably wearing like basic black leggings and a hoodie with your hood over your head to hide the bed hair you didnt feel like brushing that morning

Oh, just me? Okay…

He likes ur name because it rolls off the tongue and he thinks it suits you even tho he doesnt know you

Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You dont really think hes a fuckboy because he seems so nice and he has the cutest lil bunny smile sEE

That is until after school u end up getting to ur locker late because u left something in one of your classes

And u see him pinning a girl against the lockers down the hall

And ur like well shit nvm

And u quickly get ur shit and go because das  a w k w a r d

But then he sees u run off and hes like awh crap i dun fucked up

A few weeks go by and u notice he barely really comes to class so u usually sit alone

On days he does come his chair seems extra close to yours and he’s basically smothering you

But u dont mind because he smells nice

And on the days he does come you get kinda excited because

1) you get a partner who doesnt expect you to do all of the work

2) this boy cute when he gets all intelligent

Ur  like “yes pls continue speaking about the essay we are writing that i have no idea is on because i kept getting lost in the sound of ur voice”

He notices when u zone out because you start staring at his lips when hes talking and he thinks its the cutest thing

One day u get assigned a week long project and ur close enough friends with jungkook to basically scold and force him to come to class all week

But only if he can force u to come to his house to work on it after school

Which you’re low key nervous of because ur going to a ‘fuckboy’s house’ by yourself

And u dont wanna do the dirty because ur a pure child haha not for long

But you agree anyway

And honestly even after the project is done (which you got an A on) you continue going over to his house because his bed is comfortable and he always has snacks

And his mom loves you

Like legit on days you dont go the next day you do she’s like “wheRE WERE YOU”

When the semester is over the professor lets you pick seats but you both enjoy each other’s company so you stay seated together.

finally ur at his house one day and ur just laying on his bed scrolling thru insta and he’s sitting on his bean bag in the corner on his phone and u look up at him and realise

Shit

You like him

Like a lot

And u mentally face palm because this was not supposed to happen

But it happened and you’re too far down the hole to climb out

Sometimes u end up napping at his house after school because his bed is more comfortable than yours and one friday night u wake up in his arms

And its like the best feeling ever

Its so warm and hes so cuddly hes like latched onto you

You stay under the warm blankets before you question when he even got in bed since he was playing video games before you fell asleep

And then his phone lights up and ofc you check it for him bc ur a nosey bitch

But not before you observed how adorable he was while he was sleeping

Nope not creepy at all

its his friend tae texting him (you didn’t really know his friends since you had different friend groups)

You check it and its smth like “stop staring at y/n while shes sleeping and reply u creep”

And you’re like w a t

So you scroll up and see that while u were sleeping jungkook went on a full rant on how cute u are and how whipped he is

And ur like holy fadoodles dis boy likes me

And so u decided to text tae like “this is y/n, does he actually like me”

Which turns into you both having a convo on how thirsty jungkook is until he wakes up

Hes like wtf r u doing and he snatches the phone and reads through your messages with tae while u like sit up to stare at him

And he’s still half asleep so it takes him to realise whats going on

“Omfg y/n i can explain-”

He starts rambling about how long he had been crushing on u and that he didn’t want to tell you because you seemed uninterested so he kept it a secret and never told anyone

And honestly he was freaking out because the onE tiMe he tells anyone that he likes you, you find out

But while he’s rambling you’re coming up with an excuse to text your mom that you’re spending the night at his house, so you just say he’s not feeling well and his parents are gone for the weekend.

Lmao she doesnt care she’s just like “lmao ik ur lying but have fun dont get pregnant”

Or Maybe thats just my mom idk

You have to shut him up by snatching his phone out of his hands and kissing him

When you pull away you’re just like “you talk too much lmao”

You explain to him that you like him too and u just get under the covers again and snuggle up next to him, and he wraps his arms around you

And you stay like that for a while before hes like “its late you should get home”

And you tell him you’re staying the night whether he likes it or not

And he is so down for that

But then you end up just spending the weekend there because why not his parents love you

And every night is just filled with cuddling, watching netflix, making out, late night snacks, etc.

Saturday night he gets a lil touchy and soon enough ur like straddling him and grinding your hips against his

But then he’s like “Ive never done this before” and you c o m b u s t

Ur like aren’t you like the school fuckboy how have you not done this

And he tells you its all just rumors and hes too lazy to set the record straight

And you basically decide to take things slow that night since it was you’re first time too and honestly it was so cute

It wasn’t really steamy rough sex it was more soft fluffy love making that is filled with giggling and exploring and appreciating each other

That was definitely the night you fell in love with him

Which is big because you thought love was gross

The next day you’re cuddling and he’s like “you know ur my gf now”

And ur like duh

You start going on cute dates after that like going to cafes or amusement parks

He loved taking you to the beach during the summer because u looked gr8 in a bikini

You found out you were going to the same college with was fantastic, so you decided to rent an apartment together nearby the campus instead of living in a dorm.

Which normally you’d be against because moving in together so quickly ?? but you felt different like this relationship was going to last

UNTIL HE CHEATED

Lmao jk gotcha bitch

My baby is too pure and innocent to cheat

Well innocent until you both get into bed and then oh lord it gets steamy

He wants to experiment with like e v e r y t h i n g and honestly you were down

But ofc you set some boundaries.

There were lines he couldn’t cross

I mean sometimes he tried but you shut that down real quick

Overall your relationship was perfect and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend

I mean he brought you pizza rolls and dr pepper to ‘study dates’ how could you not love him.

Oml it took me over an hour to write this its like 2:30 am why am i awake anyway imma go to bed now, idk ur name jungshookz but pls write more fanfics i need more to read late at night okay gnite

[b00bstone]

All the even numbers!

thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway. 

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable. 

4 Are you easy to get along with?

not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no. 

6 What kind of people are you attracted to?

smart funny ones. 

8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier. 

10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.

12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1.awkward by hailey knox

2 beautiful girl by sara barielles 

3. plot twist by sigrid

4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen 

and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.

14Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao

16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.

18Do you still talk to your first crush?

occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.

20Do you like your neighbors?

well the ones i know are pretty cool. 

22Where would you like to travel?

narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe. 

24Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to bed. 

26What do you do when you wake up?

lie there and try to go back to sleep. 

28Who are you most comfortable around?

probs my friend rabbit.

30Do you ever want to get married?

one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know. 

32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right. 

34do you play sports? What sports?

hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me

36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.

38Describe your dream girl/guy?

theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.

40What do you want to do after high school?

travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all.  what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to. 

42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say. 

44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space. 

46What are you paranoid about?

everything

48Have you ever been drunk?

not yet. but sometimes i want to be

50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue i think?

52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me

.54 Favourite store?

trader joes or target

56Favourite color?

yellow

58 Last thing you ate?

well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)

60Ever won a competition? For what?

i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once. 

62Been arrested? For what?

not yet. but im sure one day i will be.

64tell us the story of your first kiss?

we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.

68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.

70 Twitter or Tumblr?

well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on

72Names of your best friends?

adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine. 

74What colour are your towels?

blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one. 

76How many pillows do you sleep with?

3... 

78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped. 

80What colour is your underwear?

rn its grey. but its not the only color i have

82Favourite ice cream flavor?

fuck. ummmmm coffee?

84What colour pants?

rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping. 

86Favourite movie?

thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because. 

90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either

92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory. we are both scatterbrained. 

94Last person you talked to today?

adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd. 

96Name a person you love?

celestine. (not romantically)

98In a fight with someone?

not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey. 

100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? i know i know i dont have very many. 

102Favourite actress?

aubrey plaza. 

104Do you tan a lot?

nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow. 

106. How are you feeling?

blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit. 

108Do you regret anything from your past?

i regret everything ive ever done. 

110Do you miss anyone from your past?

well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school

112Ever broken someone’s heart?

i dont think so. 

114What should you be doing?

school. but ive given up on that. so. 

.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them. 

118Who was the last person you cried in front of?

probs my therapist. 

120Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state. 

122Are you listening to music right now?

nope. 

124Do you like Chinese food?

americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it. 

126Are you afraid of the dark?

yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic. 

.128 Is cheating ever okay?

like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher. 

130Do you believe in love at first sight?

yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.

132. Are you currently bored?

im always bored. 

134 Would you change your name?

last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe. 

136Do you like subway?

like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach. 

138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist. 

140Can you count to one million?

theoretically? yes. but will i? no 

142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed. 

144Curly or Straight hair?

rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a  lil. 

146Summer or Winter?

yes. i like both. dont make me choose. 

148 Favourite month?

july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav. 

150Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

152Was today a good day?

no. 

154What’s your favourite quote?

in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah. 

156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic. 

[sailorrrvenus]

6 Tips for Photographers from a Vogue Model

I’ve been working as a model for over four years now, which I love, but there’s plenty of room for improvement in the way that models are treated in the industry and I feel like this is a good place to start. I love collaborating with photographers on creative shoots and editorials, and mostly I find the people that I work with respectful and kind, but there’s always one or two!

Tip #1: Encourage a Healthy Working Environment

If you want to think of your photography as a career option rather than just a hobby then you should extend that professionalism to the people you work with. For example, models should be able to take breaks for food or water or to use the bathroom. When shooting on location, perhaps consider stopping halfway through for a quick break in a nearby coffee shop for comfort, or providing water or even a blanket if it’s cold out.

Never expect your models to change outfits in public, it’s fine if they offer and are comfortable doing so but don’t act like it’s a given; instead, allow models to change in nearby public bathrooms for privacy.

If you have organized a test shoot then it is fine to agree to TFP compensation for your models, but if you have been approached by a brand or other company and you yourself are being paid, you should definitely compensate your models financially, as well as providing images for them to use, if your contract with the brand allows – if not then the compensation should reflect the lack of images.

It is also important to respect other commitments of your model, they may need to leave at a certain time or not be available before a certain time and this may mean that you have to shoot slightly quicker than you would otherwise like to but it is important to remain respectful of this, especially if you aren’t paying them for their time.

Tip #2: Make Your Contracts Fair, and Mutually Beneficial

“TFP” as mentioned previously, stands for “Time For Prints” (or “Time For Photographs”) meaning that there is a mutual exchange between the model and photographer- the photographer donates their time and skill and the model receives prints or copies of the photographs for their own use. TFP is a very common means of operation in the current market, and it is important for contracts to reflect this fair exchange.

It is important that the photographer realize that they aren’t the only creative force at work during a shoot. Ideally, the ideas of all team members should be considered and respected equally.

An annoyingly common issue I’ve had to deal with when shooting TFP is feeling like you’ve shot some genuinely good quality and useful images, and then only receiving black and white images.

Of course, if this was the concept agreed on beforehand then this is completely fine but if not, it isn’t exactly fair. Instead, if you think that the black and white files look better for some reason then feel free to send those to your model as well, but also send them the same images in full color, as this is only fair and polite.

Another equally frustrating thing that some photographers do is to not want to share what they feel is their best work with other members of their creative team, which again is very unfair to all the other parties that were involved in the shoot.

The emphasis with TFP shoots should be that all creative parties’ contributions are treated equally and fairly. Always send over high-resolution files in color, and preferably without a watermark on them as this looks very unprofessional.

Tip #3: Always Respect a Model’s Safety and Boundaries

Anyone who has ever worked as a model for any amount of time will quickly learn one thing: you don’t always get to feel safe at work. In fact, you tend to feel unsafe quite often.

This feeling is typically more likely if the creative team is smaller, for example just a photographer and a model – a very common arrangement.

Thankfully, I have been in only a small amount of genuinely risky situations as a model throughout my career, but it shouldn’t be an accepted or expected part of the job. Karl Lagerfeld famously said earlier this year that “if you don’t want your pants pulled about, don’t become a model”. It’s actually not a particularly controversial opinion to have, and low-level forms of physical and sexual assault are almost an accepted part of the job. This is far from being a problem with just photographers, or a problem with even a considerable percentage of working photographers, but you as a photographer can do your bit to help.

I would hope that this would go without saying but based on my own experience it sadly doesn’t, but make sure you always respect a model’s personal and professional boundaries, never push a model to shoot in a way that they aren’t comfortable with and if they wish to bring a chaperone with them to a shoot then let them. As a photographer, you should try to create a working environment that allows models to voice what they are or aren’t comfortable doing and always respect that without trying to convince them to go beyond that.

Tip #4: When Posing Try to be Specific

This is particularly important if you are shooting with a new or less experienced model, as they may not be familiar with how to pose themselves properly.

Not long ago I was given a vague and bizarre piece of posing advice which was to “just be water” as this was in line with the theme of the shoot. Needless to say, I didn’t have a particularly clear idea of what they wanted me to do.

This is a reasonably extreme example, but it’s quite a common problem. If you’re shooting with a more experienced model and you’re happy to just let them do their thing then that’s completely fine but if you’re looking for something quite specific it’s usually helpful to have a mood-board of specific posing styles rather than relying on vague directive statements alone.

The same can be applied to editorial and e-commerce shoots as well. It may also be helpful for you to show them the poses that you want them to do, you may feel silly doing this but they also probably feel quite silly trying to follow vague posing advice while being given little to no feedback.

Communication, in general, is undervalued in collaboration, and many photographers I’ve worked with have been quiet and introverted, making it difficult to actually understand what they are trying to achieve.

One of the best ways for a beginner to pose is through “mirroring” where both the photographer and model relax and then the photographer moves into a pose, expecting the model to mirror the actions and achieve the same pose. This also allows the photographer to directly see what needs to change in front of their eyes, and can adjust themselves and therefore the model appropriately.

Tip #5: Do Not Diminish the Role of a Model

I can’t tell you how many shoots I’ve been on where the photographer has made some kind of backhanded comment about how easy it is to model compared to what they do, or sometimes compared to having a “real job.” Now don’t get me wrong, models are met with these sorts of comments all the time, from all sorts of people who do all sorts of different jobs. But it is a lot more annoying coming from someone that you actually have to work with.

One of the worst incidences I encountered was when I was on a shoot for a graduate clothing brand and almost the second we started shooting the photographer starting saying things like “your poses need to be more interesting” (see my previous point), “come on! I thought you’d done this before!?” and “the only difference between you and any other girl on the street is your ability to pose, so pose!”

Needless to say, this was far from encouraging. I appreciated that this was a high fashion style shoot and required some more “interesting” poses, but as we were just starting to shoot I was surprised by the sudden aggression. It is completely fine to expect a certain standard from a more experienced model, but it is your duty to communicate this in a tactful and constructive way, rather than insulting and denigrating your subject.

Tip #6: Always Credit Your Talent

This is more of a prevalent problem on social media rather than in print, but it is still important to credit everyone involved in a creative project. This does differ greatly depending on whether or not you have approached a model through an agency or not as most modeling agencies require that you credit them rather than the individual model. However, if you have arranged a shoot with a freelance model, or a model that is signed to an agency or agencies non-exclusively, then it is preferable to credit them as an individual.

Giving people appropriate credit for the work that they have put into a project is another way to show them that you respect their work and value their input. It is very commonplace for a photographer, or another creative team member, to credit everyone involved on social media and not the model. This, as well as being credited in caption but not linked to your actual profile, makes it even harder for a model to market themselves on social media, which is increasingly important.

About the author: Arianne Hargrave has been working as a professional fashion and fine art model since 2015. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. Hargrave has been featured in Vogue Italia, Scorpio Jin, and the front cover of Afi Magazine. She is open to collaboration and can be contacted through her Instagram and her full portfolio can be viewed on her website.

Image credits: All photos by Simon King

source https://petapixel.com/2019/03/01/6-tips-for-photographers-from-a-vogue-model/

[dunntekraleigh]

SEO Project Management Considerations - Part 2

The blog post http://dunntek.com/seo/seo-project-management-considerations-part-2 is available on DunnTek and is Part 2 in a series about SEO project management. I recommend reading Part 1 first if you haven’t already done so.

SEO Strategy

My intent with this section is not to articulate any sort of one-size-fits-all SEO strategy, because such a thing simply doesn’t exist in any actionable form, but, rather, to explain some of the associated issues that are going to affect which project management methodologies are used and how they’re applied. Youve probably seen ads where marketing companies say theyll provide SEO services for $200 per month. Having reviewed many such services myself, I can say that, at this price point, what you’re usually going to get is a pre-formulated package of specific items like X number of blog posts, articles, and so forth, which are all done the same way for each and ever client. In the case where a business may be close to the tipping point in ranking, it is possible that such a formulaic approach mightbe all they need to tip the scales in their favor. In my mind, that’s really just a nailed-down business process rather than a strategy, because a strategy to achieve a particular result has to be specific to that result. If it’s generic, then I consider it to be a conceptual approach- not an actual strategy. It also doesn’t meet the industry definition of a project.

In most moderately competitive industries, the people that I encounter who’ve tried such offerings generally didn’t get the results they hoped for. This could be because they bought SEO services rather than SEO solutions. In other words, they paid someone to come do some plumbing and carpentry, but not to actually build them a house. Unfortunately, customers really don’t have any way of knowing whether what’s being proposed by a potential provideris going to work or not. How is a customer to tell whether the technical lingo in fancy looking Power Point presentations represents an actual bona fide SEO solution that’s going to create results, or just a bunch of paid hours keeping someone busy? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this which is why it’s important to select real business partnerswho have a vested interest in your long-term success. Let’s dig into somenuances of SEO strategy a bit further.

To begin, boiler-plate programs may not meet the commonly-held definition of a project since you are simply paying someone to provide a predefined commodity service that they sell the exact same way to anyone that asks. Within the field of project management, we refer to this as manufacturing since youre simply following an existing process that you do the same way each time. Is your company and situation exactly the same as everyone else’s? The question to ask yourself is whether you expect to beat a medium to high level of competition witha low-dollar service that does the same thing for everyone. I am not, by any stretch, disparaging this approach. In the right situations, boiler-plate services can achieve results. They may even create a good foundation on top of which more advanced services can be built. You just have to be careful in setting your expectations based on the level of competition and the degree to which the approach has been customized for your particular business. In moderate to high competition situations, a custom SEO approach will almost always be needed.

When you get right down to it, the goal of SEO is to help a website to achieve organic rank in search engines so that you get more traffic to your website, which leads to more customers and more revenue for your business. As a business owner, that’s the result you’re after.If thats the case, why do many companies sell standard list of pre-defined services? Because people keep buying it, hoping that it will work. Whether their service works or not, a single month’s payment covers their cost of having acquired you as a customer, so they come out ahead whether you keep paying them or not. When your business model is mass-production, your focus is different than when you cater to a small number of clients determined to grow their business successfully. As an SEO service provider, when you are working with such clients in your local area, you need to concern yourself with establishing a reputation for quality.

An SEO strategy is not simply developing a standard business process and using it the same way for everyone, knowing that it’s going to produce variable results for different clients since their situations are different. A strategy requires looking at what its really going to take to rank a given website based on the competition and, at a high level, mapping out the pieces involved. Several hours are neededto perform such an assessment. Due to the rapid evolution of ranking algorithms and the resulting adaptations made by SEO experts, any SEO strategy should be understood to be conceptual and that changes will be made over the course of the project.

Insofar as what project management methodologies to apply, traditional waterfall models that try to map the whole out from start to finish may lack the flexibility required for moderate to high level competition situations where the effort can span several months or longer and require adjustments at each step. At minimum, you’d be facing the high probably that two particular risks are going to manifest at any time without notice. These are search engine algorithm changes and additional actions taken by competitors. More iterative project management approaches should be considered.

Timeline and Milestones

Assuming that you arent simply following a manufacturing blue-print which follows a rote schedule, SEO is going to occur over a period of phases during which you will see website rankings fluctuate greatly. A process called the Google dance often takes 2-3 weeks for things to occur, during which time you will almost always see your website rank drop initially sometimes quite dramatically and then fluctuate for a short period of time. This is completely normal, is no cause for alarm, and can take a month or longer at times. After this period, if your SEO was successful, your website will return to a higher position than it was before. Your SEO activities should be organized around these cycles.

While the role of milestones in a more agile project management framework is a bit different than in a waterfall approach, there will almost always be certain things that need to be done early. It’s quite likely this willinclude such things as on-site website optimization, social media profile creation and optimization, and other such fairly standardactivities that might need to be performed prior tomoving on to content marketing and other activities, depending on your SEO expert’s analysis and recommendations.

In SEO, we are trying to woo Google to like our website. Like any romance, sometimes it requires more work and determination than you expected, and we aren’t in control of the timing. We have to take things as they come and be fluid. This canpresent a challenge inasset allocation for larger SEO firms that follow an IT governance structure such as the Information Technology Infrastructure Library (ITIL) and want to perform demand management. Resource scheduling is difficult when you don’t know when the next round of activity will need to commence.Enter the SEO ExpertThe role of your SEO expert is to guide you through these shark-infested waters to help you get your website ranked in the way that hopefully results in great long term results. This requires an intuitive understanding of SEO, an ability to assess risk, the application of technical skills, and the ability to keep things organized and on-track. Where the average lay-person will go wrong is mistakenly thinking the actual application of technical skills are the difficult part of SEO. In fact, once you know those things, they’re the easy part.

You are paying a real SEO expert for knowing whats actually going to work, and for having the kind of understanding needed to adapt as required throughout the course of the campaign.In practice, what a real SEO expert does may appear on the surface to be very similar to what a low-dollar provider might have done. For example, both might perform some content marketing such as writing blog posts as part of the engagement. The difference lays in the nuances of both how and when the techniques are applied and how its all knitted together. You may end up with just a bunch of digital tidbits floating in cyberspace, or you may get a well-orchestrated cohesive framework unique to your business that shows Google that you’re the real deal.

With Googles algorithmic updates happening on such a constant basis now, everything that you think you know is subject to change without notice. On any given day, you may be waking up to an entirely new set of rules. The SEO expert is on top of these changes and will make adjustments as needed based on knowledge that isn’t publicly available.Project DeliverablesPeople want to know what theyre going to actually get. This is just human nature, and it’s the reason that standardized services are so easily sold. They readily cater to the basic human desire to eliminate uncertainty. It seems more of a “sure thing” when you’re told that you’re going to get A, B and C, and you can cancel at any time. I take the view, though, thats its crucial to be crystal clear that the one and only primary deliverable of an SEO project is an improved search engine rank, andother secondarily deliverables may be provided as needed over the course of the project. Such secondary deliverables may include the creation or optimization of such things as:

Social media profiles

Social engagement campaigns

Primary business websites

Images

Videos

eBooks and other digital content

Every project is unique; no two clients need exactly the same thing. The thing about these secondary deliverables is that they may well change over the course of the project, and they should not be recorded as obligations. Note that this will be in direct contradiction to the approach taken by firms that take a mass-production approach.

This is the crucial difference between generic SEO that gives everyone the same thing and a customized SEO plan. With a customized SEO plan, the focus is on achieving rank not checking off boxes for doing work and hoping maybe it helps boost rank. Secondary deliverables are going to be a natural result of the SEO process, but they should not be its focus. Trying to nail them down in advance and put them into a contract is setting both the customer and the SEO agency up for serious heartburn when the dynamic changing environment necessitates a shift in the approach or timing. This is a veryrealistic scenario that is best avoided by letting your customer know up front that while you may advise them on your activities over the course of the project, no specific secondary deliverables are guaranteed to be provided because your goal is to help increase their rank, not to create digital artifacts for their own sake. The right customer will understand this and value having a professional in their corner with the know-how to make that happen.

It really comes down to whether the customer is focused on an improved website ranking and trusts you to do whats needed, or whether theyre more concerned about secondary deliverables that may not lead to increased ranking if theyre set in stone. Unfortunately, many customers will have had prior experiences with the second scenario and thus have it in their minds thats what they need to ask for simply because its all that they know. Their prior experience shapes what they think working with an SEO professional should look like. Unfortunately, that way of thinking could undermine their success so the agency may need to re-educate their customer prior to beginning work.

This concludes part 2 in this series about SEO project management that will be continued.