#(sick to my stomach is a fucking BOP and it's stuck in my head)

[lesbianmaxevans]

1.04 || 2.05

[rainylana]

“Do it for me.”

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: reader’s past struggles come back to haunt her.

warnings: reader has an eating disorder, talk of anorexia and weight gain/loss, throwing up food, angst, tears galore, panic attack, depression, language. requested by @eu1a i hope i did this justice to what you wanted as of how serious the topic was. thank you for requesting and enjoy reading:)

“Fuck,” You sobbed, hands gripping the toilet as you sat on your knees, rocking back and forth through cries. You sniffled and snotted, choking on cries that echoed through the bathroom, an absolute mess. It was shocking how one little comment send you into hysterics. You thought you’d gotten so much better.

All it took was one comment from your sister about your weight to ruin your whole day, to send you into the bathroom. You tried not to stick your fingers down your throat, but you were so upset you thought you’d throw up anyways.

You’d always struggled with anorexia ever since you were in middle school, but you’d been doing good ever since you’d gotten together with Eddie. He was good for you, kept you positive. He knew about your past struggles, but you knew he had a hard time understanding it. You didn’t blame him, you didn’t understand it all either.

You’d never had a healthy relationship with food, but being with Eddie healed you. He taught you to love yourself, be kind to the body that you were given. Even if you didn’t want to be, you faked it till you made it. Being with him had helped you get to a healthy weight, put on the pounds you needed to keep your immune system up and healthy.

Your dinner was sitting uncomfortably inside your belly, so you stuck your fingers down your throat and threw up your food, gagging as you did so. It didn’t make you feel better, though, and you sobbed as you drooled all over your hand, eyes watering and chest burning as you vomited your stomach contents.

One comment sent you into a spiral, and you didn’t know how bad it was going to be.

•

You were exhausted, and the loud boom of cafeteria chatter didn’t help the pounding headache that you were trying to fight off. Eddie was to your left, arguing with Gareth and Dustin about something regarding to their newest campaign. You’d tried to focus on what they were talking about, but you hadn’t been sleeping very good. Everything seemed foggy, cloudy, hard to see through and felt as if you were underwater.

Your stomach rumbled for something to eat, but you denied it almost every time, making you look pale and sickly. It had been a week since your sister’s comment, and it had been a week of straight hell. Your body was undergoing your own torture, and you were certainly paying the price for it. You felt so guilty, going behind Eddie’s back and doing everything you could to keep him from finding out that you were sick again. He never saw you like it before, not really, only having heard your stories. You didn’t want him to see you week. You were afraid he’d find you disgusting.

“Angel?” Eddie’s voice echoed in your ear, becoming clearer when he grabbed your left hand. “You with us, baby?”

“Angel,”

“Baby,”

Dustin and Mike cackled like chickens as they made fun of their dungeon master. Eddie rolled his eyes, giving them the bird. “Sorry,” He chuckled, laying an arm over your shoulder. “You good? You seem quiet.”

You smiled as best as you could. “Yeah- just..just tired. I stayed up all night studying for our science exam.”

Eddie bopped your nose. “That’s my good girl. Keeping up with those grades, huh? Well, maybe you should ditch the rest of the day and head home for a nap, yeah? Might do you some good.” He kept eye contact with his big brown eyes, making you fall harder in love with him. Made you feel more guilty.

You couldn’t describe your feelings. You knew you weren’t overweight by any means. You were healthy and were you needed to be. You hadn’t even been insecure about your belly that wasn’t as smooth as it had used to be, or the extra meat on your thighs. You worried about eating, what the food would do to you if you got out of control. What would happen if you weren’t pretty anymore? What would happen between you and Eddie?

You didn’t see yourself as ugly, but you feared food would make you hideous. The solution? Simply not eat.

“Yeah, maybe.” You nodded, looking down to your lap.

“Not eating anything?” He noticed your empty space on the table.

“Not hungry.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“You’ve not ate much this week.” He acknowledged, giving you an odd look. “You’re not coming down with something, are you?”

“No, no,” You shook your head. “Just been really tired. Not had much of an appetite.”

He frowned and scooted his bag of pretzels towards you, pointing so you could eat before he turned back to his friends, giving you a kiss on the cheek as he did so.

It took you five minutes before you could eat one.

•

Your gagging sounds filled the bathroom dreadfully, hunched over the toilet as you heaved out everything you had consumed that day, which hadn’t been much. You cried like a baby, guilt eating you alive. You didn’t know what to do. You knew you couldn’t go down this path again. You’d gotten so bad last time. You needed to talk to Eddie. You knew you had to.

The idea terrified you. He’d be disgusted of what you were doing wouldn’t he? He didn’t judge you before, but that was before.

You sobbed as you flushed the toilet and stood on shaking legs, walking to your bedroom to look in your mirror. You lifted up your shirt with trembling hands. You couldn’t even see your reflection from how hard you were sobbing, your heart broken and body wracking with guilt.

Before you knew it, you were calling Eddie.

His tapping on the window came as a relief and terror all at the same time. You pushed open your curtains to reveal his terrified face, and he jumped in as quickly as he could. “Baby, are you okay?” He grabbed your shoulders. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

You’d regretted it, though, now. It had given you a chance to calm down, his drive over there, and you were suddenly wishing you hadn’t called him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” You waved your hands, not looking at him. “I’m okay, now, I was just upset.”

“About what?” He pressed, warm palms on gone shoulders. “What had you so upset, darlin’?”

“Nothing, I’m okay.” You dismissed halfheartedly.

“Baby,” He said firmly. “Tell me what happened! Are you hurt?”

“No, Eddie, I’m fine!” You snapped harshly, making him jump. “I’m fucking fine!”

You obviously weren’t, because your tears had come just as quickly back again, and you covered your face with your hands as you sobbed behind them.

“Y/n,” He tried to reach out to you but you jerked away. “Please, you’re scaring me, what happened?”

“I can’t tell you!” You wailed, making him recoil slightly. “You’ll be so mad at me!”

“Sweetheart,” He softly and carefully wrapped his hands around your shoulders. “Calm down,”

Your breathing got out of control, and you pushed him away to put your hands on your knees. “I can’t,” You choked, gagging on your own breath. “I’m so-”

“Breathe,” He tried not to panic along with you, holding your torso as he brought you to the bed. “Breathe, honey,” He brushed your hair out of your face. “Shh, it’s alright. I’ve got you.”

You sobbed like a lost child, snot dripping down your nose as you hiccuped and choked. “Shh,” He soothed you. “Shh, I’m right here. Don’t rush, just breathe for me, alright? Need you to calm down.”

The panic attack drifted away after a few minutes, the terror washing away with an overwhelming amount of relief that made you sigh dramatically as you looked up to the ceiling. “Oh, god,”

He pushed your hair away from your sweaty face, adjusting your shirt that was falling off your shoulder. “Are you alright?”

You nodded heavily. “Thirsty.” You panted, getting up to shakily walk to your dresser for your water battle. He stood, watching you carefully to make sure you didn’t fall over.

You swallows your drink roughly, throwing down the bottle when you were done. “Oh, fuck, Eddie I’m so sorry.” You said exhaustedly.

“Y/n, honey, it’s okay.” He frowned, coming up to you. “But you’ve gotta talk to me, okay? I’m freaking out here. What happened that got you so upset? Did someone hurt you?”

“No,” You whined. “Stop asking me!”

“Y/n,”

“Eddie,”

“Fine!” He snapped. “Fine, what the fuck ever then!” He growled, stomping with heavy boots over to the beat. “Forget I fuckin’ asked.”

You gritted your teeth and crossed your arms, the familiar guilt swarming over you like buzzing bees. You carefully set down beside him, fidgeting with your fingers. Your eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry.” Your voice cracked.

“I’m just…I’m afraid of what you’ll say. I don’t want you to be angry with me.”

Eddie looked over at you with saddened eyes, reaching out to grab your trembling hand. “Sweetheart, I promise I’m not going to loose it, okay? I just want you to talk to me.”

He watched you sit in silence, big tears rolling down your cheeks as your lip quivered. He wanted to pull you into his arms, but he knew you needed your space.

“I’ve been throwing up my food again.” You let out a whimper, face burning with shame. “It’s just been a couple weeks.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “Throwing up…your food? As in when..”

“Yeah, like before.” You rushed, finishing for him. “I know it’s disgusting and I should stop. That’s why I’m telling you.”

Eddie looked to the floor, trying his hardest to figure out what to say. He should’ve seen the signs, should’ve realized you hadn’t been acting right, because you hadn’t, and all the pieces were finally connecting together:

“Two weeks?” He looked back up at you. “What happened?”

“My sister.” You sniffled. “She said that I was getting fat. Well, no, she didn’t say that. She said I was putting on weight, but you- well, you get it.” You stumbled, bringing up a nail to bite.

“Who, lizzie or Micah?” He said quickly.

“Lizzie.”

“That little brat.” He gritted his teeth. “I outta-”

“That’s my sister, Eddie.” You finally looked at him.

“I don’t care who it is.” He stood up, pacing. “Nobody should ever talk that way to anyone. That’s just messed up.”

“It’s not her fault.” You defended. “She’s right. Don’t be mad at her, Eddie.”

Eddie gave you a look. “Are you serious? You’re not gonna sit there and justify what she said to you, especially with…with your health.” He was flustered and red, pacing a whole in the floor as he walked from one end of the room to the other.

“Are you okay?” You asked him, causing him to stop.

“Am I- no, no, baby, are you okay?” He came down to his knees in front of you. “I mean- you know that I don’t know anything about this, so you just gotta be honest with me. I mean..well, are you alright? Don’t you..should you eat something?” He was rambling and he knew it, terrified of saying the wrong thing.

“I’m not hungry.” You blushed.

“How long has it been since you ate?” He regretted the word choice as soon as he said it, especially the way your face turned beat red, but he had to ask.

“This morning.” You answered.

“And did..did you, uh- throw it up?” He said carefully, looking up with big, brown eyes.

You were beginning to feel very small, not able to keep your eyes on him. You started to cry again. You held your belly and sniffled, his hands on your knees.

“Baby, it’s okay,” He tried to sooth you. “I’m not mad. I’m glad you told me. I’m just trying to understand.”

“Yeah.” You said hoarsely. “I’ve not been able to keep anything down.”

“Okay,” He said gently. “Thank you for telling me. Have you been doing anything else?”

“No,” You shook your head. “Just that. I’m scared I’m going to get bad again, it’s just so hard to stop.”

“What’s it feel like?” He tried. “Is it..like addiction? Are you addicted to it or is it something else?”

His slender fingers came up to wipe your tears, soothing your aching anxiety. “I-I..I,”

“Slow,” He stopped you. “Shh, calm down, slow, slow,” He guided you through your breathing.

“I’m too big.” You blubbered, coiling over and grabbing his arms. “I’m too- too, uh, big!”

“No, you’re not, y/n.” He shook his head, holding your shoulders. “You’re healthy. You’re exactly where you need to be.”

“But, what happens when I’m not!” You cried. “You’ll leave me!”

“What?” His eyes crinkled in surprise. “Honey, what, no. No matter what you look like I’m staying. No matter what.” He lifted up to hold your face.

“Sweetheart, you’re healthy and where you need to be.” He squeezed you. “It doesn’t matter if you loose weight or gain it, none of it matters to me, do you understand? All I want is for you to be happy and healthy. I want you to be the healthiest version of yourself that you can be.”

“I can’t do it,” You leaned your forehead against his. “I’m too stupid. I hate myself.”

“Do it for me.” He kissed your nose. “Please, just try to love yourself. Be kind to your body. I will help you in anyway that I can, you’ve just gotta be honest with me.”

You cried and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck. He didn’t realize how fast his heart was racing until he felt it vibrate against your own. He took a deep, shaking breath, allowing his own eyes to water.

[achliegh]

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 9:

FMRN

Would You Go With Me

My Stress

Today was the day, Leo was moving to Gryffindor with two sexy hockey players who actually want him. He hasn’t stopped smiling for the last 26 hours. He was currently in the shower while his boys packed a ‘sexy time’ bag in his closet. Casually bopping to the beat of FMRN as he rinsed off his body. Stepping out of the shower he starts drying off. Legs, stomach, chest, face and everything else. Walking to the closet for the connecting door to the bathroom he finds Finn sitting on a suitcase and Logan trying to zip it shut. Shaking his head he walks over to this plane clothes and starts getting dressed, just a simple pair of jeans, t shirt, belt and baseball cap.

The music was still in the background as Logan jumps up and whoops with triumph. Skipping over to Leo he pulls him in for a rather aggressive, excited, kiss with Finn following with his own sweet and gentle one of his own.

“That bag is crazy full, just so you know.” Finn smiles and kisses Logan’s forehead, the shorter of them was still buzzing like he drank six energy drinks. They heard a bell being rung for breakfast and all sprint over each other to get downstairs.

Judy does not play when it comes to breakfast.

After a healthy morning breakfast of shrimp and grits, or cheese grits if you are Leo, everyone started packing up the vehicles. Leo gets car sick a lot of the time in smaller cars so he is driving them to the airport, ‘them’ meaning Clay and Reg… Finn and Logan got kicked out into Thomas and Noelle's car. Logan fought a little about it but Finn knew that Leo still needed his space. So convincing Logan to go with him by offering a bag of salt and vinegar pork rinds, was rather easy.

Finn has noticed how easy to fall Leo is, he just hopes that Leo doesn’t hesitate with them. Logan didn’t make a very good impression the first time they left. Ever since then Leo has been, understandably, cautious around them. It hurts a little but Finn only ever notices after he looks back on a situation. How Leo looks unsure or hesitates to touch them.

He figured them living together might help Leo open up to him. He just wants him to be happy and safe with them.

“Why am I so nervous…? I have been talking about these two for the entire summer. Shouldn’t I be more excited?” Leo opens the gate with an app on his phone before setting it down in the cupholder. Reg and Clay share a look.

Leo has taken to getting drunk to open up about his fears, Reg and Clay have both become therapists for a sad Leo who isn’t thinking right. It usually stems from Logan's words he used to kiss Leo goodbye for the first time.

‘You are just… a guy who we had a fling’

‘You don’t mean anything to us Leo’

‘Stop being a fucking child Leo!’

Those words haunt Leo when he isn’t distracted in some way. It has gotten better ever since their trip to Gryffindor the first time, but they knew it still bothered him.

“Maybe it's because you are living somewhere away from Peanut for so long.” Clay smiles at him when their eyes meet in the rearview mirror.

“I did try and convince Logan to let him come with, but it was a no. I still can’t believe he is afraid of horses.” Leo snorts and visibly relaxes.

“You know you can always stay with me if you ever need anything, right?” Reg looks at him and gives him a soft smile. Leo squeezes his bicep in thanks. They continue the rest of the drive by Clay annoying Regulus until Reg climbs into the backseat to give him a couple of smacks with a bag of sunflower seeds.

A plane ride and a sleepy car ride later, Leo was carrying most of his bag into Finn’s apartment. He set everything down in the second bedroom and looked around. This was the smallest bedroom he has ever been in… But he was hoping he’d be spending most of his time in the master bedroom anyway. Biting his lip at the thought he is jolted out of his thoughts by two idiots trying to squeeze through the room door at the same time.

“I think we are stuck…”

“Non, I can get us out!” Logan pushes the bag that was in between then onto the floor and they both go toppling over. Leo couldn’t help that laugh that flew out of his mouth. He walks over to help them out just to be pulled into the pile on the ground. Right on top of his baseball bag.

“Oh fuck! Bat in my ribs!”

“You brought a bat!?” Logan is looking at him like he's insane but helps him stand after pushing Finn off himself. “How are you going to use that on the ice?”

“Lo… he plays baseball, not hockey.” Logan rolls his eyes and just ‘blah blah blah’s behind Finn’s back. “Why did you bring it though? It’s going to be too cold to play.”

“Gryff has an indoor batting cage, I looked it up before we left. Shouldn’t you know everything here by now?” Leo starts laying the bags out in a line and opening them up to start organizing the room. Clothes are first.

“Lo doesn’t get out much.” He gets a swift smack to the chest with a pair of long socks from said hermit. Rubbing his chest he smiles. “I have no excuse. Where do you want these?” Holding up the third pair of boots he has found while rummaging in Leo’s bags he holds them up.

“By the wall please.”

“So polite. Logan, you could learn something from him.” Logan makes a sound of offense and was going to say something back in return but Leo turns on his speaker and starts playing some country yeehaw shit, it's growing on him and he won’t lie about it.

“I love this song.” Leo grabs Logan by the wrist and pulls him close, one hand on his waist and the other interlocking their fingers. Swaying to the beat he suddenly pulls away to grab Finn's hand and spins him into his chest while singing “If I gave you my hand, would you take it And make me the happiest man in the world? If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, Finn. Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea? Let me know if you're really a dream. I love you so, so would you go with me?”

Swinging Finn around as Logan watched in awe Leo is pulling away from Finn and holding his hand out to Logan. Breathing slightly heavy just smiling his bright chipped smile with his wild blue eyes. Logan can’t help but take his hand and let himself be spun so his back is to Leo’s chest as he mumbles those same words into his shoulder. “If I gave you my hand, would you take it? And make me the happiest man in the world? If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, Lo. Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea? Let me know if you're really a dream. I love you so, so would you go with me?”

Hours of dancing and actual unpacking later, Logan had to leave to watch the kids while Celeste and Dumo head to their eye appointments. Leo was sprawled out on the sofa, mostly asleep, when he felt a kiss on his temple and heard some mumbling.

“I’m going on a run, I’ll be back. Okay?” Nodding a couple seconds later after the question sunk in, Leo gives him a quick peck on the lips and buries himself back into the couch.

When he wakes up Finn still isn’t back, his own phone is dead, and it's cold. He sets his feet on the ground after sitting up and a shiver runs through his body. Wrapping his arms around himself he walks to his new room and pulls on his thickest socks, that just happen to have a hole that his big toes catches on. He also decides to change into his one pair of sweats, the Lions ones from the hockey game, and the sweatshirt he wore with them. Putting the hood up and pulling it tight so just his face isn't covered, tying a little bow he doesn’t care how he looks, he’s warmish now.

Wandering into the kitchen and plugging his phone into an outlet in the island, he texts the boys asking what they want to eat, turning on the oven would feel nice. While he's waiting for a response he decided to look around. He walks into the living room where he was just napping to look at all the pictures Finn has of his team, family, friends and him and Logan.

Smiling he picks up a picture frame with Finn on some guy's back, Leo thinks his name is Kasey if he remembers properly. They are in a fountain but only Kasey is wet. He sets it down and picks up a picture that is not in a frame but just laying on the table. Odd. It is of Finn and Logan, they look younger and Logan has a blonde streak in his hair. They are smiling wider than Leo has ever seen them smile. Finn has his arm around Logan’s shoulder and Logan has his arm around Finn’s waist.

Their cheeks are pressed together. It’s sweet. Leo turns the picture over and reads what is written on the back.

‘The year I found the one.’

Leo smiles and sets the picture back down, walking over the wall that has pictures literally taped to it. He makes a mental note to buy some frames. He is taking in all the smiles of people he didn’t know, a man looking like Finn and Finn actually headbutting in a picture makes him laugh.

He hears his phone ding with a text notification, he makes his way over and notices the corner of a picture sticking out from under the couch. He pauses in his path and bends down to pick it up. It’s folded, but it’s a picture of Finn and Logan at the bonfire that Leo took them too. Leo unfolds the side of the picture and realises… there is a crease over his own face.

Ouch.

He folds the crease again and sees how it completely cuts him out of the picture. Leo actually has this same picture in the back of his phone case. Suddenly that tiny drop of doubt becomes flooding water filling up his head. Putting the picture down on the counter after he walks back over to the phone.

He opens his messages to the boys needing steak for dinner… maybe… Did they forget? He sighs and feels the doubt flooding from his brain to his heart. Shaky hands start some music to hopefully distract himself from the smell and texture of meat. Clicking his phone off he starts working on dinner.

Finn and Logan walk in the apartment together, laughing and still sweaty from the run that Logan joined Finn half way through. Taking off their shoes and setting Logan’s bag by the door, a heavenly smell fingers their nose holes.

They share a look of confusion for a moment when they realize the smell is actually steak… They thought Leo would have gotten the joke but maybe not. Maybe the ‘lol’ and ‘lmao definitely’ weren’t obvious enough. They make their way to the kitchen and hear the music and the sizzle of a pan.

They turn the corner to see Leo, looking rather sad. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks slightly green, he is watching a small steak cook in a pan with no emotion in those normally challenging eyes. His hair looks like he has ran his hands through it and gripped it so it is standing wildly on his head. His hood is tied but not on his head. He is slightly shivering from either it being cold or something else.

Finn was the first to approach him. Resting his hand gently on Leo’s as they hold the spatula with a death grip, he takes the tool away and tosses it towards the sink and having no clue where it landed. Logan has taken it upon himself to turn off the stove and move the pan off the heat.

“Leo?”

“Are you using me?” Leo just blurts out what he is thinking and automatically regrets it from the look of hurt on Finn’s face and the look of anger on Logan’s.

“Let's talk about this while we clean these.” Finn holds up Leo’s hand to inspect the tiny knife cuts he accidently got from chopping onions. Being pulled towards the bathroom, Leo is told to sit on the counter. He does. Logan takes the peroxide from Finn and wets a couple of cotton balls with it.

Scrunching his nose as Logan dabs his small nicks he looks up at Finn who is holding two boxes of bandages, one box is Bob the Builder theme and the other is Hello Kitty. Smiling Leo nods towards the Hello Kitty ones.

“What makes you think we are using you?” Leo zones out for a second, thinking about the song that is still playing in the kitchen and how they need to turn the music off. “Leo.” He remembers that he was being asked a question and clears his throat.

“I don’t know, It’s just that you guys were already together before I came into your relationship. I just feel like maybe I’m just here to piss people off or as some… I dunno fetish maybe. I know it hasn’t been super long but I thought that maybe you would have one or two pictures of me. And I saw the folded one where it’s folded over me…” He is avoiding looking at Logan at all costs.

“I can’t speak for Logan,” Finn cups his cheek and makes him look at him. “But I really really like you, and I’m definitely with you, for you.” Smiling at him Leo lets himself be kissed and melts into it. Pulling away they both look towards Logan, who seems to be lost for words.

“I can’t believe you would think of us like that!” Finn gives him a warning look and Logan takes a deep breath. “Sorry, I just- I’m not good at this type of stuff. I’m really bad at expressing my feelings and emotions, usually I show them in other ways.” He takes Leo's hand and plays with his fingers. “I’m sorry I just snapped a second ago, I’m used to Finn speaking for the both of us… but I’m realizing that makes us ‘one’ in this relationship when obviously there are two of us that really want you.” Leo smiled a little and lifted Logan's hand to his lips giving it a few kisses.

“I really like you too, Lo.” he smiles the tiniest smile and turns to look at Finn. “I like you too.”

Logan and Finn lean in to kiss Leo’s cheeks at the same time. Smiling, Leo lets himself receive the affection without worrying if it's real.

He can worry when he is alone.

[rainandhotchocolate]

Last Christmas

A/N Day number 3!! This one was harder to write cause I have a massive headache lelel so I hope it’s ok! This is just hella angsty/sad, about Sirius and Remus’ first Christmas without James and Lily. 

Enjoy! xx

“Come here,” James grinned, opening his arms wide. Sirius couldn’t help but grin back at him, his smile had always been infectious, and give him a huge bear hug. He winked at Lily who was standing behind him, leaving against the bannister, cradling a small bundle of blankets in her arms.

“And how is my godson?” Sirius made his way over to Lily who rolled her eyes at him.

“No hi for me then?” She pouted, but still tilted Harry forwards so that Sirius could peel back the blankets (Gryffindor coloured, gifted by Remus and Sirius when he was born). Harry was fast asleep, his mouth moving up and down.

“Fuck he’s so cute,” Sirius shook his head. All he wanted to do was stare down at him, or maybe squeeze him, but instead Sirius looked up and gave Lily a peck on the cheek.

“Have your parents come by yet?” Sirius asked Lily, following her into the living room. It would never not be weird that they have a whole house by themselves, at age 20. There was a large white fireplace that always made Sirius smirk, remembering James trying to connect it to the floo network whilst Lily and himself stood in the doorway sniggering and Remus dictated everything he was doing wrong.

Lily looked tired as she sat down on the couch, rocking Harry lightly. Her normally porcelain skin looked dull and pale, large blue-ish grey bags hanging under her eyes. James kissed the top of her head, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, one hand on the top of Harry’s head.

“So, what are you doing here?”

“I can’t just drop in on my favourite homebound couple?”

“Not when Dumbledore has banned anyone from seeing us.”

Sirius gave Lily a cheeky smile, ignoring her suspicious glare.

“Ok, ok, Remus wanted me to stall you.”

“For what?”

“Obviously something I can’t tell you, you dolt,” Sirius snorted, enjoying watching James get exceedingly excited. They’d been cooped up for about three weeks now and James had already sent him seventeen letters.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Sirius woke with a start, jumping upwards and narrowly missing slamming his arm on the bedside table.

“Are you awake yet?” Remus yelled from the kitchen. Sirius rubbed his eyes roughly, blinking in the light streaming in through the window. It was blindingly light. He stretched out his back, pulling of the covers so that he could peak out the window at the snow-covered ground and trees. It looked magical. Sirius closed the blinds forcefully and turned away.

Remus had laid out an oversized Christmas jumper on the bed that was bright green and had reindeer jumping over a twinkling Christmas tree. After a moment of staring he sighed and pulled it on. He wasn’t going to run Remus’ irritatingly optimistic outlook.

“It smells good in here, moony,” Sirius could smell cinnamon French toast and bacon frying. His stomach started to rumble.

“Took you long enough, though you might have- sleep well?” He cut himself off, turning to Harry to pour him a glass of apple juice. He was smiling happily in a small chair they’d bought specially for him. Sirius sat down next to him and wiped the maple syrup off his face, kissing the top of his head.

They had been ignoring the topic of death, or certain people, or really anything that reminded them of the gut-wrenching pain they’d felt a few months previous in Godric’s Hollow.

“Has uh Santa arrived yet?” Sirius watched Harry play with his food happily. Remus was stuck on keeping him involved in muggle traditions like Lil-

“Yes, we haven’t looked yet though, we were waiting for you,” Remus smiled warmly at the two of them, holding plates of their breakfast, “Before or after food?”

“After?” Sirius smiled at him, trying to keep his thoughts at bay. What would have they done? Did we get him the right things?

“Sounds good.”

They ate in silence, speaking occasionally to Harry as he babbled away. There was something about Christmas that made being with Harry so much worse. These were the moments they were meant to take photos of and put them in one of Lily’s photo albums or something. Were they meant to dress up?

“Ok, who’s ready for some presents!” Remus had his plastered grin on, the one he always gave to Professor McGonagall to get out of detention. Sirius was sure that Harry didn’t actually know what was going on but he reacted to Remus’ sudden enthusiasm with clapping hands, his bright green eyes twinkling.

Remus picked him up, pulling him against his waist and nodded to Sirius to head into the living room where they had put up a relatively small Christmas tree and tried to help Harry decorate it. The room was covered in presents, all around the tree and couch, wrapped terribly in brightly coloured paper that Remus had found in a muggle Christmas store in London.

“Ok Harry, which one do you want to pick first?” Sirius sat down on the floor with him as Harry crawled forwards, looking at the colours surrounding him.

“I have a feeling he is unsure what he’s picking,” Remus smirked as Harry merely giggled, touching all the wrapping paper. Remus looked over at Sirius who was avoiding his gaze, watching Harry like a hawk. He knew that Remus wanted to talk about it. How do you talk about a huge fucking gaping hole sitting in your chest about 80% of your day? About how it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs when he thought about them, let alone dreamt about them, waking up and thinking they were still there. Still alive.

“Dis dis” Harry tried to pick up the largest present sitting underneath the tree and fell onto his backside, still giggling.

“Alright, let's get that one opened,” Sirius took the opportunity to move out of Remus’ eye line and help him unwrap. It was a large book that Remus had bought him on magical animals and their properties. It had huge moving pictures of each animal, and Sirius made sure to find the page on werewolves first to show Harry.

“Classy move,” Remus snorted, but a smile flickered on his face and Sirius counted that as a victory.

They spent the next hour unwrapping Harry’s gifts, another broom, as his last one was… destroyed, a large toy snitch, a tiny cauldron that brewed small amounts of steam in different colours depending on what was put into it, and a number of small outfits and sweets.

“Dada?” Harry turned to Remus suddenly, looking up at him, head crooked to one side. Sirius’ throat constricted. Was he being absolute prick by wanting to avoid talking about this dead child’s parents? What a fucking asshole, bloody prat.

“He’s not here, Harry,” Remus said slowly, placing a hand on his shoulder carefully, rubbing his thumb across his clavicle.

“Mama?” Harry looked confused, Sirius wanted to be sick. The air was constricting in his throat. They’d told Harry that his parents wouldn’t be around anymore. They’d had to tell him a few times actually. Sirius knew that one day they would have to tell him exactly what had happened.

“She’s not here either, love,” Remus’ voice hitched. If Remus cried Sirius was toast.

“Where?” Harry's face had screwed up. Remus and Sirius had spoken about Christmas a few times, Remus wanted to discuss what they would say to Harry, how they would explain that his parents weren’t there for something that Lily had gone on and on about the moment it had begun to get cold. Why they were asleep in the house before Sirius found him in his crib crying loudly.

“They aren’t here anymore, Harry, remember?” Remus’ eyes were getting red, “Do you remember last Christmas?”

Harry shook his head and Sirius lifted him up and sat him against his knee so that he was facing Remus.

“Well, last Christmas your mum and dad dressed you up in a bright red reindeer outfit,” Remus laughed, wiping a tear from his eye but continuing to smile brightly for Harry, “and James jumped you around all the furniture whilst Lily tried to hide all the valuables. And then we came over for lunch and brought mashed potatoes which you ate for the first time, and we all opened presents together.”

Harry didn’t say anything back, but continued to smile happily up at Remus. Remus looked up at Sirius, eyes bright red and desperate. He silently asked for Sirius to continue.

“Uhh, I, do you know the first time you spent a whole day with us?” Sirius bopped Harry upon his knee, smiling down at him as he shook his head again.

“We surprised your mum and dad, when they’d just had you and were falling asleep standing up. We had a muggle spa connected to the floo network – the fireplace over there, so that they could get away for the whole day without Dumbledore suspecting anything.” Sirius took a second, his voice breaking every second word, “So we took care of you for the day. It was really hot so we set up a tiny pool in the back garden and dipped your feet in.”

“I’d forgotten that,” Remus mused, tickling Harry’s stomach and making him laugh louder.

“So had I, I… had a dream about it.”

A silence fell over them, Remus still grinning at Harry, but his eyes were looking down, avoiding Harry’s green eyes. Sirius noticed himself doing that sometimes too.

“I dream about them too, sometimes.” Remus bit his lip, still looking at Harry.

“Do you think it will ever be… not so hard,” Sirius mumbled, not wanting Harry to hear him.

“Maybe. I think though, it helps. Talking about them.” Remus looked up at him, finally. It made Sirius want to choke. They should be here with them, Lily should be bopping Harry on her knee, smiling as they opened presents together. James should be chatting about the best way to get him onto a broom as soon as possible in hushed whispers so Lily wouldn’t hit him on the back of the head.

Harry crawled forwards to grab the toy snitch, turning it around in his hand and squishing it softly.

“I miss them.” Sirius said slowly, watching Harry. He looked so happy. Sirius would do anything watch him remain happy for the rest of his life. To never have to think about his parents being murdered in their own house, whilst he was there.

“I miss them too.” Remus reached out an gripped Sirius’ hand tightly. Sirius felt like he might break a finger, but he let him hold on. Maybe they could get through this. Together.

 Taglist:  @averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana @avengersassemblee @maraudersandco @sly-vixen-up2nogood @katbernoulli @sirius-lysad @evyiione @minerva26love @aikeia @gollyderek @greatwombatblaze  @songforhema  @your-typical-giggle @myownviperroom

[thinkinboutkiribaku]

part I,

part II

∗ˈ‧₊°∗ˈ‧₊°∗'

"So, Bakugo-kun~~ my golden child, prodigy amongst my mistakes, missed you so much ; could you sign here, here and here. Use your cutest handwriting, it's gotta looks precious." Ashido blinked too much.

"The fuck are you talkin' about ?" Katsuki frowned his brows, expecting the sneakiest with her. "Wh-", when he noticed that what she had spread on the desk were shirtless picture taken (stolen) from their last sleepover ; his vein popped.

"Well, because I already accepted the money and sold these to the girls‎ ―that would be a fraud Bakugou. Ah! Did I forget to mention it ? " She bopped her finger playfully against Katsuki's nose, smiling. "Woopsie~~ ".  The sigh of her tongue sticking out aggravated his reaction so much. Only the affection-needy hold of Kaminari's arms around his shoulders prevented him from throwing fists.

"Whaaah, Bakubrooo, my man ! I missed you y'know ? Without you there's a never ending hole in the gang !" he exaggeratedly whined, holding onto tighter.

"He especially missed you 'cause he has no brain and you're the squad's brain ; Kaminari always goes dunce when you go."

"But I named you substitution brain."

"Dude !! You were out for a whole month, how do you expect me to weight the gang's dumb chaotic energy over my shoulders ?? For, I am only a mortal man," Sero opened his trembling hands in front of his face, surely prone to disastrous flashback. "Kaminari's a whole mess but even Kiri's started losing it these last few days ! Bro, please tell me you're staying for good this time !"

"He's stuck with us now, can't go back!" Kirishima leaped over Kaminari's shoulders, his weight forcing Katsuki to bend even more with his friend's burden.

"Bastards, you heavy shit-"

"The only way to get a man to stay, I see…" Sero mumbled, letting himself fall over him, alongside the others.

Following the vibes he's been giving off, Katsuki was never one to appreciate people's warmth permeating his precious personal space. But this didn't feel that much like intrusion, rather it felt just like coming home ; being enveloped by that kind of affection, he kinda missed it.

Still, Katsuki was never one to appreciate having his precious personal space ridiculed.

Thus he gave them extra time to savor and laugh their fucker's ass off before exploding and sending them flying. He was back after all, and that was how their dynamic always worked.

"So ? Finally regretting coming back ?"

"Definitely ! How can someone have that much stamina and shout non-stop for hours ? Mic-sensei ?? I can't !" Kaminari whined, spreading his arms all over his desk, empty paper sheets falling on the ground.

"I wasn't talking to you", Sero elbowed him. "And don't whine, you slept for half the hour, you coward."

"I kinda like Mic's lessons, they're easier to follow because of his voice. I don't get how you can sleep through it." Kirishima frowned.

"My sweet diligent child", Mina cuddled up behind the red hair, tightening her arms around his shoulders. "Always making mama proud."

"I thought Katsuki was your favorite child ?"

"He's too rebellious, I can't pamper him too much.", she tried ruffling Katsuki's hair, but even with his eyes closed he flicked her hand, "My best and yet worst creation... At least I can sell his ass whenever."

"Don't you dare bitc-!"

"Kirishima-kun, there's your twin waiting for you !" An extra classmate called from the door. She was next to a stranger that looked nothing special, waving dumbly from the corridor. Glaring at his face, he appeared as uninteresting and dim-witted as possible in Katsuki's eyes.

Yet, he noticed how eagerly Kirishima ran over towards that stranger fucker.

"Wait so we're all your children then ? And Sero's the daddy ? That's kinky."

"You're all my hard labor family and Sero wakes up from time to time to raise you…", she elbowed him. "Hey daddy~ pay more attention would you."

" Nopeee, I'm orphaning all of you asap now that Katsuki's back…" He whined, face against his desk." I'd still tap that though," he added with a smirk, soon joined with Mina's laugh and an elbow's soft poke.

"Eww, don't do that in front of me, i'm baby."

"Who's that fucker Kirishima just left us for," Katsuki paid no attention to his friends banters as his eyes were still fixated onto something ugly. Why was their stupid handshake that long. And why was Kirishima seeming to have fun in every part of it.

"Oh ! Right you didn't see that !"

"What."

"That dude's Kiri's lost twin, I'll tell you ! So we had PE against class B once and they got paired up and then― ! Hit it off like real bro ! Like, they both have that weird old school obsession with being manly and those old heroes movies references, hey― they even share their birthdate. I bet 5$ they're really long lost brother or something."

"Why only 5$ ?" Sero judged.

"Bro I'm broke. Anyway, since that time in PE they started hanging out together sometimes. "

"Kiri is so dazzling, he even get attention from outside our classroom. Sure is my favorite baby."

This shouldn't grip so hard, Kirishima had always been an affection magnet. Only a question of time before others got infatuated too. But Katsuki could feel an ugly emotion growling in his ribcage nonetheless. But he didn't come back for that shit.

"Katsuki ?"

"I'm going out for a bit, –-hungry."

"Hey, bring me something !"

"You can choke on this."

In need of some fresh air, Katsuki exited by the back door to wander in the corridor. Full of loud students packed together while he was walking alone. Fuckers were taking all the fresh air, Katsuki felt annoyed even more. He took a turn opposed to the cafeteria where students were usually attracted by, and hoped for some peace of mind at least.

Too bad,  going for the vending machine, he came onto Kirishima and his fake brother. They were exchanging money to buy each other stuff, and ―surprise― they craved the same candy. Acting on his reflex, Katsuki went back on his step, pressing his back against the opposite wall. It wasn't like he was hiding (of course not). He just didn't want to see the disgusting scene of Kirishima having so much fun with someone else.

He didn't go away immediately though. For some reason, their (really loud) conversation halted him.

"He was a giant, I swear I could see my life flash before my eyes !" the guy used mimics that made Kirishima laugh and Katsuki scowl harder. "I really thought we were done for."

"That sound really exciting though, feeling a life or death situation kinda !"

"It's all about that adrenaline rush."

"Sounds manly !"

"You should really join the team, it'd be fun. We'd make the perfect duo, just like in PE !" the fucker bumped shoulders with Kirishima, and what had been weighing down in Katsuki's stomach burned at the mention duo.

For he had no way to convey this ugly grip around his ribcage that was sinking deeper and deeper, all Katsuki did was kick the wall before leaving with angry steps.

He was feeling sick now.

∗ˈ‧₊°∗ˈ‧₊°∗ˈ‧₊°∗ˈ‧₊°

Awoken for a little while now, thanks to the light rain tapping on the window, Katsuki still didn't felt like moving. He already felt pretty lame for actually skipping classes to rest in the infirmary, but that … feeling back there, had been too much.

Now that he was all alone with his thoughts and the reminiscence of these feelings, he had a hard time fighting them from resurfacing. Of course Kirishima was going to be loved by other and that he would make new friends ; he wasn't the best friend of the infamous Bakugou Katsuki for nothing. Katsuki knew all that, but still…

It wouldn't hurt that much if his feeling weren't going overboard for him. They'd been friends since they were five and nothing could ever come between them on <i>that</i> level, that was promise. And right now they were surely the shiniest thing in each other eyes… But feeling like these made Katsuki apprehend the day someone would dazzle Kirishima's heart away. He knew he was the shit, but nobody could control their feeling…

He would know.

And as the rain was hitting lighter and lighter, announcing he could soon leave school dry, Katsuki decided to leave those feeling behind as well. It felt bittersweet as hell but there was nothing he could do about them in that state. He'll think of a plan after having tasted something, because after sleeping for 3 hours straight he felt damn hungry.

Thinking about what he could get on the way home, Katsuki turned in the infirmary bed, and to his surprise― came facing a red hair, siting roughly on a chair opposed to the bed, gaze consumed by his phone.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel at the very least happy Kirishima knew where he was and waited for him, even though school might have ended since a little while now. But that was bittersweet feeling as well, because now he was reminded how precious Kirishima was and how other people might be entranced by it too. Katsuki responded to that by watching how the sun, resurfacing from the clouds, reflected its light other Kirishima's crimson face. It became even more mesmerizing when Kirishima raised his head, offering a cute smile.

"You came back to play hooky huh…"

"Shut up", Katsuki grumbled as he put himself in seating position. "You.. Did classes end long time ago ?"

"Around half an  hour… And for your notice, I was planning on waking you up in another 15 minutes or so ! Don't think I'd forget you.", his last word hitting Katsuki's heart smoother than he could know.

"Don't think I'd forget you" came clashing right against the awful "We'd make the perfect duo" line from earlier. Katsuki turned his face towards the window just next to his, and as he expected, he could see the club training in the schoolyard.

"Hey… are you going to join a club ?"

"Huh ? Why you ask ?"

"Cause you seem the type that would like that type of shit."

"It does seems nice and all, but it goes on for hours right after school… I don't really like coming home late and… I wouldn't be able to go home with you. Or to go see you on set !"

Katsuki could feel through his skin that his cheeks were slowly blushing. That was so stupid and of course Kirishima would say something like that, but damn it felt good. Especially right now… Katsuki needed indulgence.

"I don't need you coming though… Can go home on my own.", he grumbled, reaching.

"I know that," Kirishima smiled, and the vision of the sun reflecting golden hour over his face made the air around Katsuki feel sweeter and his heart beating.

In front of such feeling, he needed a moment ; thus he put his face against his knee for a while, brutally inhaling whatever. When he dropped a bit from his airy feeling, he still felt high somewhat.

"Hey, let's go, to that taco place you talked about… Or whatever, I'm fucking hungry, shit."

∗ˈ‧₊°∗ˈ‧₊°∗ˈ‧₊°∗ˈ‧₊°

part I, part III

[bitionraingang]

One Leads to Another

THIS IS FOR MY BEST FRIEND! hope everyone enjoys it! There will be a part 2!!

Changmo X Double K X OC

It’s been weeks since I found out my now ex boyfriend had been cheating on me for 2 of the 3 years we’ve been together. I ran out of our shared apartment with all of my belongings and crashed at my best friend’s house.

“Alright. So today, we are going to party our asses off okay?” She asked.

“Hell yeah. I need this.” I replied while slipping on my little black dress. This dress is perfect, it isn’t revealing, but hug and accentuates all my curves.

I gave one last look in the mirror before turning around.

“Damnn… you look smoking hot Y/n.” Chang IIl, my friend said while eyeing me. It was pretty normal for our group of friends to throw suggestive jokes around at each other, until I became part of a committed relationship which didn’t matter anymore.

“Thanks, but I’m not reserved for you today.” I said slipping on my heels.

Chang Ill walked behind me and put his groin against my bent ass and wrapped his hands around my waist to pull me up after I strapped the heels onto my ankles.

“You sure you don’t want to be with me tonight?” He whispered into my ear while teasing me.

“Chang Ill we all know how many girls you’ve been with. There’s no way I’m letting you in me.” I replied while laughing and prying his hands away from my body.

He gave a peck on my temple and said, “Well you know I’m always open for you to have me.”

“Nu uh, not a chance.” I replied while walking towards Joonkyung, who held my purse. He helped me sling the purse into my shoulder and pulled me into a side hug.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked.

Joonkyung was my brother from another mother to me. He was always there when I needed help. He was the best friend that I ran to after finding out about my ex boyfriend’s wrongdoings.

“Yeah, thanks to you as always.” I said returning the hug.

“Are ya’ll done?! I wanna leave!” Deok Kwang yelled from the bottom of the steps.

We were seated at the usual V.I.P. rooms thanks to the famous boys. Right away we got started with some drinks. After taking a few sips of my drink, I turned to Joonkyung who was conversing with one of the call girls.

“Joonkyung, I’m going downstairs to dance a little bit.”

His arms fell from the girl’s shoulders and grabbed onto my waist.

“Want me to go with you?” He asked.

I pushed the few strands of hair that blocked his eyes and shook my head.

“I’ll be good. Have fun.” I replied.

The bass in the song was so strong that I couldn’t help but to move my body freely along the upbeat music. Within a few minutes, I was joined by a group of girls and guys who wanted to dance with me. We all bopped along to the music. It felt so good to let myself loose after such a long time. As I took a sip of the drink in my hand, I felt a warm pair of hands land on the middle of my stomach. I turned around to see if it was Joonkyung who had come to check up on me, but I was shocked to see someone with bright silver hair.

“Hey, I’ve been watching you dance since you got here and wanted to know if I can join you.” He “whispered” loudly over the booming music.

I was so shocked to see one of my favorite rappers of all time behind me, holding onto me, and asking if he can dance with me. “Oh my gosh! Aren’t you Changmo?!” I asked, somewhat shouting so he was able to hear me.

He nodded and gave me a big smile. I placed my hands on his and rocked my body against his. As we danced against each other, it felt surreal. I was dancing with the man who I’ve only listened to on my Spotify Premium account.

“You want to talk for a bit?” Changmo asked into my ear which sent shivers down my spine. I nodded and grabbed onto the hand that he was holding out for me to take.

He brought me to a secluded room that seemed to be near the room I came from. We sat next to each other as a waiter brought another glass of drinks for us.

“So, what’s your name?” He asked.

“I’m Y/n.” I replied.

“Well, I’m Changmo. As you know. I just wanted to get to know a beautiful person like you.” He said while tracing his fingers on my forearm.

“Is that what you say to all the girls you want in your pants?” I questioned laughing.

“No, I usually don’t have the courage to do this.” He replied somewhat sincerely.

I gave him a flirtatious smile and said,

“Well, you’re doing a good job in trying to have me want you.”

He returned the smile and shifted closer to me.

“Well then is it okay for me to give you a preview with my lips?”

“Just keep in mind I have high expectations.” I said smiling and then leaned in to close the gap between us.

The next morning, I woke up with my head buried in his warm chest.

“Told you that preview I would be worth it.” He groaned making me chuckle.

“Wait. Changmo.” I said abruptly pulling away.

“Yeah?” He asked, eyes widened.

“You didn’t know wear a condom… You’re clean right?” I asked warily. I always wore a condom, not just to avoid pregnancy, but in case of exposing myself to diseases.

“I’ll get you a morning after pill. Sorry about that I completely forgot.” He said trying to pull me into his arms again.

“No, I’m on birth control so that’s okay, but I’m asking about other things. You don’t have anything right?” I asked.

He chuckled, “Sorry, no one’s ever asked me that before. But yes, I am clean. You’re the first person I’ve ever had slept with without a condom.”

“Okay, just making sure because I always do, but I completely forgot as well.” I said easing back into his arms.

“Are you clean?” He asked teasingly.

I lightly slapped his arms, “you think I would’ve asked if I wasn’t?”

I closed my eyes feeling tired from the intense workout while Changmo continued holding me and placing kisses on my face.

“You give so many kisses to a person you’ve just met.” I said without opening my eyes.

“I usually don’t, but I can’t help it.” He replied.

After a tiresome day, I made my way to Chang Ill’s studio.

Hey.” I said slumping down on the sofa.

Without turning away from the computer screen, he humphed a hey back.

“Are you working on a new song?” I asked.

“Yeah I got a sudden inspiration.” He answered.

As if he remembered something, his body jumped and swiftly turned to face me behind him.

“What?” I asked without opening my eyes.

‘Where’d you go yesterday?”

“You could never guess…” I said while sighing.

“Did you go home with Changmo?”

My eyes popped open and I jumped up, “how’d you know?”

He nodded with a grin, like a parent proud of their child’s achievements and said, “I have my ways.”

And just like that, our lives went on. Changmo lived his own. I lived my own. That was until I got sick. And I mean very, very sick.

“Ugh… I didn’t even eat anything… why am I like this…” I groaned against my pillow.

“Chang Ill is bringing medicine and porridge for you so hold onfor a bit.” Joonkyung said while brushing my hair that was sticking to my forehead.

“Did you sleep without the A.C. on?” He asked.

“No… I don’t know why I’m like this.” I replied.

“Since when did you say?”

“Maybe like two days after the day we went out? I think..” I groaned once again feeling like throwing up.

“And you haven’t eaten properly since that day, right?” He asked cautiously.

“Yeah.” I said and got up to run to the bathroom once again.

Joonkyung followed behind me and patted my back as I tried to release the toxicity in my body.

“Y/n… you said you guys didn’t use a condom right?”

With a big frown, I looked up at Joonkyung and said, “Joonkyung, I’m on birth control. I’ve been on it for the past 3 years, since I was with Dong Hae.”

“You do know birth control isn’t 100% effective.”

“That’s like 1 out of a million. There’s no way that it could happen to me.”

With a concerned look, Joonkyung shook his head. “That 1 could be anyone.”

My body stiffened at that thought and I could feel my blood rushing to my heart rapidly. Biting my lips I walked out of the bathroom and over to the nightstand where my phone rested.

“Chang Ill.”

“Hey, you okay? I’ll be there soon. I’m like 10 mins away.”

“Bring a pregnancy test too.”

“Fuck. Are you being ser-” and I hung up. Joonkyung walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. Tears slowly escaped my eyes as dug myself deeper into his warmth.

I stood in front of the mirror, just staring at my reflection. I was too afraid to look at the test.

“Y/n.” I heard Joonkyung’s voice from the other side of the bathroom door. My head turned towards the door, but I couldn’t say anything.

“Did you take a look?” He continued.

My head whipped towards the pregnancy test that sat on top of the closed toilet.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?”

Taking a deep breath, I slowly picked up the stick and took a look.

“Y/n. Answer please.”

My heart dropped at the two big red lines that stuck out on the white stick.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.” I chanted roaming back and forth in the bathroom.

The banging on the door became louder.

“Y/n?! Open up! Open the door! Changmo! Look for the bathroom keys in the kitchen drawer!” Joonkyung shouted.

“Y/n, it’s okay. Just let me in okay?” He begged. My hand was shaking as I continued to stare at the stick that changed my life. Why hadn’t I used a condom? But I was on birth control. But if I had a condom, I wouldn’t be like this. My reflection in the mirror showed my disheveled hair, shaky body, with tears falling freely to my chin. The door to the bathroom jiggled open and came in a rushing Joonkyung and Chang Ill. They knew the test was positive from my current state and pulled me into a hug. I was crying in the arms of Joonkyung as Chang Ill brushed my hair out of my face.

“We’ll be here for you no matter what okay?” Joonkyung whispered.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” Chang Ill added.

It’s been 3 days since I’ve found out about my pregnancy. Joonkyung and Chang Ill stayed over at my house since the day I found out. I was taking in the truth better than the previous days. I still couldn’t eat, but Chang Ill forced me to for the sake of the baby in my womb.

“How are you today?” Chang Ill asked.

“I’m feeling better… thank you Chang Ill.” I said while gripping his hand.

“Hey, no need to thank. It’s what friends do.” He said giving me a hug.

“Are you going to tell Changmo?” He asked.

“I don’t even know his number… And it was a one night stand. He wouldn’t want a child from a one night stand.”

“I could try to get you in contact with him. And he deserves to know even if you decide to get rid of it.”

“Chang Ill, I know that, but what if he says to get rid of it? I don’t want to live with the fact that I got an abortion and an innocent baby died because of my or his selfishness. I’m not getting rid of the baby.”

He sighed with a look of relief and gave me another hug.

“I was so scared that you would say you wanted to get an abortion. Oh God. I feel my legs shaking.”

“You’re not the one pregnant or even the father.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, but I’m going to be the Godfather.” He replied.

“Uhh… that’s Joonkyung.” I joked.

“Hey!” He said pulling away from the hug.

“Just kidding, of course it’s both of you.” I said smiling.

“There’s that shining smile.” He said poking my cheeks.

Four months have passed and I was entering my second trimester. I haven’t met Changmo since that day and I was somehow able to convince Joonkyung and Chang Ill to not let Changmo know because I was afraid that he would make me abort my baby or take it away from me. Joonkyung was busy with his new album so these days I was hanging out with Chang Ill more. There were rumors that Chang Ill was becoming a father since he was seen so often with me shopping for baby supplies. Luckily, my face was not released to the public. There only were pictures of Chang Ill with a lady that looked pregnant occasionally joined by Joonkyung. Since the weather was still warm in late September, I had a thin shirt with a loose cardigan.

“Chang Ill, what do you think about this?” I asked raising a pair of baby Jordans.

“That’s so cute!” He replied with a giddy expression.

“Let me get it for you.” He said taking it out of my hands.

“No, you already bought so much for us! I want to buy it!” I exclaimed.

“But Coco is my first godson. Of course I have to buy it.” Chang Ill whined.

“I told you his nickname is Peach! Not Coco!” I said while smacking his hand away.

“I think Coco is cuter.” He said as he skillfully took the Jordans out of my hands and ran to the register.

“Chang Ill!” I yelled slightly as I finally caught up to him. He gave me a grin as I smacked his back.

“For my baby, anything.” He said giving me a side hug.

We were headed for my favorite ramen shop for dinner as Changmo got a call from his boss, Dong Gab

“Chang Ill, can you come into the office right now?” He asked.

“Umm, I’m actually out with Y/n right now and we’re getting dinner right now. Is it okay if I go in a little later?”

“Actually, can you both drop by? It’s important.”

“With Y/n? I can -”

“We’ll be there soon oppa.” I said cutting off Chang Ill.

“Alright, thanks see you.” Dong Gab said before hanging up.

“Y/n, we already know what this is going to be about. You’re pregnant. It’s only going to stress you out.” Chang Ill said looking back and forth from the road to me.

“Chang Ill , I’ll be fine. Dong Gab oppa isn’t going to yell at me or anything. Don’t worry. I’m stronger than you think.” I said trying to lift his worries.

He sighed loudly before saying, “Wait. Oppa? Dong Gab oppa? Yah! I’m older than you and Dong Gab, but you never call me oppa! Why is Dong Gab an oppa to you?”

I chuckled and said, “That’s because mentally, you’re younger than me!” which resulted in a pouty Chang Ill driving to 1llionaire Records.

“Hey Dong Gab oppa. How have you been?” I asked as he welcomed me with a hug.

“Good. What about you? How’s the baby?” He asked as we sat down.

“Peach is -” I started before I was cut off by Chang Ill shouting,

“Coco!” I glared at him before continuing,

“PEACH is good. He’s 4 months now, half way through!”

“That’s good.” Dong Gab said smiling.

“I called you guys in because right now there’s a video of you two going around at a shoe store buying baby shoes and Chang Ill called the baby his baby. And fans are going crazy right now.” He continued.

“A video? At a shoe store? That was literally 30 minutes ago.” Chang Ill exclaimed.

“Yeah, and Y/n, you’re face was revealed in the video. I’m trying my best to have lawyers take it down immediately, but then again because you were with someone famous, and it was taken in public, it might be hard to.” Dong Gab sighed.

Feeling overwhelmed at the situation, I took in a deep breath.

“Is there anything I can do?” I asked.

“No, you’re not revealing yourself to the public. Your face was enough.” Chang Ill said. If I were to come out and explain my situation, then 1) I would be telling everyone in Korea that I am a single mother 2) I would get backlash about being a single mother 3) I would get backlash about being a scandalous woman… the list could go on and on.

“Chang Ill’s right Y/n. There’s no need for you to expose yourself to the public. We’ll do that for him, but as for you, try to stay on the downlow and don’t hang around together in public too much.” Dong Gab said with a concerned look.

Chang Ill and I nodded as we drifted into our own thoughts before it was interrupted by Dong Gab’s million dollar question.

“Are you planning on telling Changmo?”

I froze and just stared blankly back at him. Changm Ill instead answered,

“She doesn’t want to because she’s afraid he might tell her to get an abortion or take the baby away from her.”

Dong Gab nodded before adding, “But you don’t know that… shouldn’t you at least try? If it doesn’t go well, you know we’ll all be here to make things right for you.”

“That’s not the only reason.” I started.

“What if he thinks I did that to him on purpose? Or like I’m lying about him being the dad, but want him to take responsibility? I don’t want to become a pathetic person.” I said finally letting out my true feelings.

Dong Gab got up to sit beside me and gave me a hug.

“You’ve got it all wrong. Look at you, you’re 4 months pregnant right now and you didn’t tell the father. He should know then you didn’t do it on purpose or that you’re trying to force him to be responsible for a baby that’s not his. Changmo is smarter than that.”

So somehow, I was now in front of Changmo’s studio. Chang Ill palmed my cheeks and lifted my head so I could meet his eyes.

“No matter what happens, remember that I will always be here for you. That includes Joonkyung, Dong Gab, everyone. Okay?”

I nodded and stirred up a smile so that he wouldn’t be too worried. One part of me wanted Changmo to accept the baby and become a responsible father. The other part of me wanted to turn around, go home, and hide in my bed covers.

“I’ll be out here so don’t worry. Call me if you need me.” He said lightly turning my body towards the door.

I stepped in and was faced with a young lady who was managing the front desk.

“Hi, how can I help you?” She asked.

“Hi, I’m here to meet Changmo.”

“Are you the new program’s producer? Did you make an appointment with him?” She continued.

“Umm… no. I need to speak to him as soon as possible for a private matter. Is it poss-”

“Honey, you’re not the first to try this tactic. If you really want to meet him, make sure you buy tickets to the next concert.” She said while shaking her head.

“No, I do know him personally. I just wasn’t able to get in contact with him privately.”

“Well, maybe that means he doesn’t want to speak with you. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She replied getting up from her seat.

“No, please. Can you just tell him Y/n is here to speak to him. He’ll know. Plea-”

“Y/n?” A familiar voice cut me off.

“Changmo!” I exclaimed.

“Hey, how you’ve been?” He asked while reaching out for a hug.

“Could’ve been better…” I said while returning the hug with my side, trying to avoid hugging him with my stomach that was bulging out.

“What brings you here?” He continued.

“I’m actually here to see you. I need to speak to you, is that okay?” I asked lightly grabbing his fingers.

“Yeah, of course. Let’s go to a cafe in the front.” He said taking my hand into his own.

“No, let me!” I said trying to push him out of the way from the register.

“No, no. I want to treat you.” He said blocking the view. Rolling my eyes, I turned around to grab a table.

To be continued......

[vincentferard]

Not Just A Bruise (an Erasermic One-Shot)

Somewhere in an apartment in Musutafu City, an air-conditioning unit whined loudly, filling the apartment with cool, brisk air. It was almost summertime, final exams were over, and for most schools’ things were starting to die down a little. However, that wasn't the case for UA High. Everything was just as pumped up as always, if not more so, in preparation for the upcoming summer camp. Normal assignments too, like English, maths, and science, were just the same as always.

Of course, that's probably how Aizawa got stuck in this situation.

With assignments still being in full swing and preparation for the summer camp going on at the same time, a certain blonde teacher got more than a little behind on his grading. Naturally, he turned towards his dark-haired best friend asking (with his whining it seemed more like begging) for help grading. The teacher had begrudgingly agreed to help, lecturing him lazily on his careless time schedule.

And that's where he was now. Sitting on his couch. Grading his best friend’s papers for him.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on his wooden door. Sighing heavily, he got up and answered the door. On the other side stood the green-eyed, cockatoo haired, leather covered man himself.

“Shōta!” He grinned brightly. “I came over to help! I just got done with my radio session so I have the rest of the night free!”

Aizawa winced slightly at his loud tone and rolled his eyes. “Oh, how considerate of you.”

The blonde pouted slightly at his sarcasm. “Hey, you know I don't like asking you to help with this!”

The dark-haired teacher rolled his eyes again but nodded, simply letting out a hum and stepping aside to let the blonde in. Once inside, Hizashi flopped onto the couch, picking up the ungraded papers.

“Why don't you sit down?” Aizawa asked sarcastically, sitting down next to his friend.

Hizashi just chuckled and shook his head, starting to grade the papers. “You did a lot, huh?”

“Of course. I actually do my job.” He jested slightly, earning a 'humpf’ from his cockatoo friend.

Sighing, he leaned forward towards the coffee table and started sorting the already graded papers into piles based on the assignment and class period. As he was putting paper clips onto the stacks, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.

“Hizashi?”

“Hm?” The blonde didn't look up from his papers.

“Hizashi.” His tone was more demanding, causing the other to look up in confusion.

“What's that?”

Four darkening purple marks decorated the side of his neck, just barely visible under the collar of his leather jacket. Of course, the question Aizawa had asked was rather stupid. It was obviously-- and he knew-- bruises. But that wasn't quite what he meant.

“Where?”

“Your neck.”

Hizashi frowned and quickly looked down, going back to his papers. “It's nothing. It’s just a bruise.” His response was quick and short and lacked any emotion in the tone.

“ It’s clearly not nothing.” Aizawa argued.

Hizashi looked back up at him with a frown, his glasses slipping down slightly, exposing his eyes. The skin around them was slightly poofy and pink while the whites looked slightly bloodshot.

“You’ve been crying, I can tell. Please don’t lie to me. “ He sighed.

“Please just drop it.” The blonde practically begged.

Aizawa didn't want to drop it. Something was wrong and, even if he didn't care to admit it, he cared enough about his friend to make sure it was remedied. However, to not upset his friend, he agreed. “Fine.”

A stuffy, uncomfortable silence took over the room for the next hour before Aizawa decided to get up and make dinner. It was already almost six so the sooner, the better. Walking into the kitchen, he pulled some ingredients out from the fridge and got a big cast iron skillet out from under the sink. Crêpes. He was going to make crêpes.

“Hizashi,” he called from the kitchen. “What kind of crêpes do you like?”

From the living room, he heard his friend call back, “Breakfast crêpes!”

Aizawa sighed and shook his head. Breakfast crêpes. For dinner. Who the fuck-

“Or whatever you have ingredients for!” His friend’s loud voice suddenly sounded behind him, causing him to jump slightly.

Turning around he scowled slightly, half jokingly half seriously. Rolling up a nearby newspaper loosely he gently and slowly went to bop the blonde on the head. However, before the newspaper even got close, the sight of Hizashi flinching made him stop in his tracks.

“Hizashi, I-”

“It's fine.” He quickly cut him off, smiling awkwardly yet warmly.

“Hizashi.” 

“I’m okay. It’s all fine.” He tried again.

Aizawa's stomach churned slightly, anger, worry, and guilt swirling around. Words filled his head of what he wanted to say. “It’s not okay! you’re not fine! People who are okay don’t act like this.”

Shit. He hadn't meant to say it like that but that was how it came out.

Hizashi's face dropped and he tilted his head. “Act like what?”

“I went to gently bop you on the head jokingly with a newspaper and you flinched.” Aizawa explained calmly.

The blonde bit his lip lightly. “So? I'm a pro-hero, I've had more than my fair share of beatings. Flinching is something that a lot of heroes do without thinking.”

“You've never flinched before.” He argued. “Not until you started…” He trailed off slightly.

Hizashi had started dating a guy named Inokuma three or four months before. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, he had a great sense of humour, was decently muscled, and was attractive. Hizashi stayed over at his place often, usually ending up being late to school the day after if he did.

“Hizashi...is Inokuma abusing you?” The dark-haired teacher asked quietly.

The blonde didn't respond, only frowned deeper and turned to leave the room. Without thinking, Aizawa reached out and grabbed his arm, earning a loud hiss of pain from him. He quickly released his grip but stepped in front of him to keep him from leaving the room.

“Jacket. Off. Now.” His tone left no room for debate.

With a heavy sigh, Hizashi glowered at the shorter male but complied, painfully slipping off the jacket to reveal his arms. A white tank top covered his torso, showing off deep dark bruises accommodated by small shallow cuts sprinkled like confetti. The sight was ghastly, more than just concerning. Aizawa was speechless, unable to say anything. Anger boiled deep inside of his stomach causing him to feel almost sick.

“Inokuma did this to you?” He questioned.

The blonde nodded slowly, opening his mouth only for soundless words to come out.

“When were you going to tell me?“ The dark haired male questioned again.

Hizashi shook his head slowly. “I...I wasn't going to.” He spoke. “I couldn't. I wanted to but I couldn't.”

“Why not?”

“I'm a pro-hero. How pathetic would it be if people found out that I was abused? And besides…” A few tears rolled down his face.

He didn't say it but it was obvious.

“Did he threaten you?”

A nod.

The anger in Aizawa's stomach grew but more than that, he felt something else: guilt. His best friend had been dating this guy for three or four months and he was just now noticing. Only now was he noticing that his best friend had been being subjected to domestic abuse.

“I'm sorry.”

Hizashi looked at his friend in confusion but before he could ask 'why’ his friend spoke up again.

“ This is all my fault, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could have done.”

Aizawa didn't look up. His fists were clenched at the side of his body, teeth gritted. Despite the fact that he didn't know he felt like he could've done something. Anything.

“I wish I could take the pain away.” He growled, picking up his phone. “You should have told me sooner.”

“What are you doing?” The blonde asked softly.

“I'm going to call the cops to go arrest that douchebag.” He answered back gruffly.

Hizashi quickly reached out, grabbing Aizawa's hand firmly. “Don't. Please.”

Aizawa looked at his friend and frowned deeper. His eyes looked so sad and scared.

“I’m never going to let him hurt you again. He'll be in prison. He won't be able to touch you.”

The bird man shook his head. “No, I know...but if the police know, then the media will find out and then-”

“I won't give them your name.” He cut him off. “I'll tell them that one of my friends is being domestically abused and I’ll tell them Inokuma's name.”

The blonde still seemed concerned but he nodded and released Aizawa's hand. Aizawa carefully set down Hizashi's jacket on the nearby table and gently grabbed the taller man's shirt corner, leaning him to the couch.

“Sit and rest.” He sighed. “I'm going to go call, I'll be right back.”

And with that Aizawa left the room, leaving Hizashi on the couch. He attempted to start grading the papers while his friend was in the other room but couldn't get himself to focus. Sighing, he curled up on the couch, shaking slightly. He knew Aizawa wouldn't mind. Roughly ten minutes later the dark haired man returned from the other room, sitting next to his friend.

There was dead silence before he spoke up. “It's all taken care of. They're heading over there right away.”

The blonde was silent for a minute. “Hey, Shōta?”

Aizawa let out a small hum.

I'm sorry…”

“Why?”

He turned towards his friend. “Because I didn't tell you and now we have to go through all this.”

“You were threatened.” He sighed tiredly. “Besides, I'm not worried about that. As long as you're okay everything is fine.”

Hizashi didn't respond, he only leaned against his friend slightly. More tears involuntarily slipped down his face. Hesitantly, Aizawa slipped his arm around the back of his friend's shoulders, pulling him into his side.

“Please don’t regret me... “ 

“Just breathe.” He mumbled quietly. “I could never regret you.”

Next to him, Hizashi was still shaking slightly, his breathing unsteady.

“Never?”

“Never.”

[aqlemonade]

(AB)CD Tour - Biadore

Summary: Follow Roy and Danny on the ABCD tour-- With occasional commentary from Courtney and Darienne. 

AN: Just a warning this is a bit long. I tried to work in most of the content we got from them during these four shows. I hope you guys enjoy! Thank u, next, bitch!

Fabric bunched under Roy’s hands as he helped Danny shimmy into Adore’s mermaid costume. “Jump, babe,” He instructed Danny. The younger laughed quietly as he did what he was told. One good jump from Danny, and a decent tug from Roy got the costume over his body. “What do you think?” Roy asked as he eyed the work he did on the garment. Danny turned around in the mirror; Hitting poses and flipping his short hair. “I guess I don’t have to ask,” Roy chuckled at his fiancé’s amusement.

“It’s fucking sick Roy, are you kidding? I look so hot,” Danny answered as he checked his ass out in the mirror.

“Yeah, you do,” Roy kissed his cheek. “But I mean the fit? Is it okay? Are you comfortable?” Roy ran his hand down the tail part of the costume, unintentionally sending a shiver through Danny‘s body. “I made it a few inches bigger than your measurements to give you some wiggle room.”

Danny shook his hips, “Well, I can wiggle in it.”

“You’re an idiot,” Roy said fondly.

Danny smiled at him with his tongue poking out from behind his teeth. “Your idiot. An idiot that you love so much you made this gorgeous costume for.”

Roy felt a warmth in his chest when Danny expressed how much he liked his outfit. He had made most of everybody’s clothing for the tour, but spent extra time making sure everything for Adore was perfect. “I’m glad you like it, honey.”

Danny turned to face Roy. “I love it, and everything else you made me! Really, Willow, thank you,” He reached out to embrace Roy in a giant hug, only pulling away slightly to kiss him. A few appreciative pecks turned into deeper kissing. Danny cupped Roy’s face as he slipped his tongue into his mouth. Roy’s arms tightened around Danny’s waist and brought him closer.

“Why don’t we take this off so it doesn’t get ruined?” Roy said breathlessly against Danny’s lips.

“Yeah,” Danny huffed out between kisses. They reluctantly broke away from each other, rushing to get Danny out of the mermaid costume without rushing so much that they ripped it.

Roy tugged the top half down, pressing his lips against Danny’s shoulders. He kissed all over his back, chasing the freckles and goosebumps on his skin. Soft hands slid down Danny’s arms before Roy turned him around. His lips closed around one of Danny’s nipples while he brushed the other with his thumb. Danny’s breathing got heavier as Roy’s tongue swirled around the nub. A small noise escaped plump lips when Roy flicked it.

“You’re so perfect,” Roy huffed as he peppered kisses to Danny’s chest. His fingers toyed with Danny’s nipples while he kissed a path to Danny’s neck. Suckling, kissing, licking and biting the tender flesh had those beautiful emerald eyes rolling back and Danny’s dick begging for attention.

“I’m not wearing underwear,” Danny said with a smirk; Almost a bribe to get Roy to take the rest of this thing off of him.

“Oh, you’re not?” Roy’s tone was just as playfully teasing as Danny’s was. His kisses had moved from Danny’s neck to across his jaw. His hands groped Danny’s ass over the shiny fabric of the mermaid tail.

“Nope,” Danny choked out. He cleared his throat to speak properly, “Seriously, I think I’m precumming on it.”  

The implication that the garment was getting soiled cleared away the fog in Roy’s head. “Okay, babygirl, let’s get this off of you.” Danny groaned at babygirl. Roy knew that made his legs weak. The older man kneeled on the floor behind Danny. “Stand up straight. I’m gonna pull it down, okay?” Danny nodded. At first he was just going to rip it off of him and hope for the best, but the side of him that spent hours making the garment washed that thought away. Roy slowly worked it pass Danny’s hips, letting his fingers linger on pale skin before allowing it to fall. “Step out, love.” Roy picked up the garment, folded it, and placed it neatly back into Danny’s suitcase.

“That was nice,” Danny mused with the cutest grin on his face.

“Yeah?” Roy inched closer to him.

“Yeah,” Danny pecked Roy’s lips. “You’re sweet.” Roy smiled at him, giving him another peck before grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him around. Roy bent Danny over the hotel bed, sinking back down to his knees behind the younger man. Roy smacked Danny’s asscheek, burying his face inside of him while Danny was still mid yelp from the sting of his hand. “Oh my god,” Danny whined, his teeth biting into his bottom lip as Roy lapped at him.

Roy went at him like he had never and would never be able to taste him again. His tongue was flat, swirling around and licking at Danny’s asshole. He played with the pressure he used on Danny. Heavy breaths and barely audible moans were the result of a light touch, writhing around and whimpering was the result of a bit (a lot) more force. Roy used his arm to steady Danny’s hips, his other hand moved between his own legs.

Danny was so beautiful. The sounds he made were incredible, and the way he reacted to Roy made Roy ache. He began stroking himself as his mouth worked on Danny. The vibrations from Roy’s gravely moans sent waves through Danny’s body. Shaggy hair shook out and stuck to a sweaty body as Danny threw his head back, mewling in ecstasy. Roy heard his name tumble from that gorgeous man’s lips, sending a heat through his abdomen and encouraging him to eat him out with a new ferocity.

Roy shook his head back and forth while keeping contact between his tongue and Danny’s hole for a new sensation. “Holy fuck, Roy,” Danny cried out. “Keep doing that—Fuck!” This man would never cease to amaze Danny. Their sex life never got boring or stale. Even after years of fucking, Roy would always surprise him. He always had some clever trick in his arsenal that would have Danny clutching the bed sheets until his knuckles turned white—Which they had.

A sudden change had Danny seeing stars. Roy slid his tongue in and out of him. His hand crashed down in the same place he spanked before, turning the rosey hand print into an angry red. Danny reached around to push Roy’s head further down. He was so lost in the moment he didn’t know what he was doing, but Roy happily allowed him to do it anyway.

He continued to open Danny up with his tongue, switching between penetration and gentle licks. Roy traced Danny’s rim, slipping back inside of him while Danny moaned and pawed at the hotel sheets. His hips started grinding against the bed for friction. A tremble came over his thighs. Seeing that, Roy knew Danny was more than ready for him. The man spit in Danny’s hole, making the younger groan and wiggle around for more contact that he never received.

Roy stood up in search for lube, though his mission was cut short as Danny had stood too and began ripping his fiancé’s clothing off. Danny tossed Roy’s tank top on the ground. His lips attacked Roy’s neck while his hands splayed over his chest. Roy’s head lulled back, tilting a bit to the side to give Danny better access. Danny smirked at how willing Roy was to give up control. To be vulnerable. To let Danny please him. Pale hands trailed down Roy’s stomach methodically. The muscles twitched and jumped under Danny’s touch. Roy hummed in approval.

It didn’t take long for Danny’s fingers to find the belt of Roy’s jeans. While lips kissed a tan chest he fiddled with the buttons and loops of his pants until they fell in a pool around his ankles. Danny dropped down to his knees, smugly smiling at the wet stain on Roy’s underwear. Danny’s pointer finger traced where it was, teasing his man’s cockhead. Roy gasped, his legs tensed up while his hips thrust into Danny’s touch. He couldn’t look down at him, knowing the cocky expression that was undoubtedly plastered on his face would make him choke.

Danny yanked Roy’s underwear down to be met by his gorgeous cock: Hard and leaking just for him. Danny licked his lips. He gripped the base before devouring him. All of Roy slid down Danny’s mouth until he hit the back of his throat. Danny gagged initially before adjusting to the size. His lips were completely stretched over Roy’s cock as he looked up at the older man. Roy swore Danny never looked as beautiful as he did right now. He began bopping his head up and down Roy’s shaft in a circular motion. Only the tip was left in when Danny pulled back. With a generous tongue, Danny lavished it with attention. He swirled all around, becoming neater in his movements when he wanted to focus on licking the top. Roy inhaled sharply as Danny’s tongue dipped into his slit. His hand tangled in Danny’s hair, tightening when he felt Danny’s tongue start a swiping motion.

“Shit,” Roy mumbled under his breath. Danny had taken Roy back in. His nose pressed against Roy’s stomach as he deepthroated him. “Dan,” Roy whined as tremors began to rake through his body. A laugh from the back of Danny’s throat made Roy’s head fall back and his balance stagger. His fingers combed through Danny’s hair affectionately. Danny cupped Roy’s balls, letting the heat from his palm get to Roy first before squeezing them just how he knew Roy liked it.

Despite the haze in Roy’s mind his hunger for Danny shone through. Roy tried to form a semblance of control, but utterly failed when a loud moan broke from his lips instead of the words he was attempting to say. “Where-where’s the lube, Dan?” Roy groaned through labored breathes. He needed Danny to stop before he came down his throat, but didn’t have the will power to make him. “Please, Danny.”

A string of spit followed when Danny pulled Roy out of his mouth. “Right there,”  he pointed to the dresser. For once Roy was thankful for a tiny hotel room. He reached right over, grabbing the lube without having to move. When their eyes met Danny was leaning on his knees, the most innocent look and sweetest grin on his face while he lightly stroked Roy’s dick.  

Roy reached down to cup Danny’s cheek. His thumb brushed the heated skin. “Such a little fuck,” He teased warmly. Danny snickered. It was exactly like Roy to break a moment like this just to joke with him. They both leaned in for a kiss. Roy guided Danny to stand up as their lips meshed together. His hands ran up Danny’s arms then down his back. He gripped Danny’s ass. One hand kneading the perfectly round cheek while the other slipped between to gently start massaging Danny’s hole.

“Let me,” Danny breathed. He picked up the bottle Roy had dropped on the floor while they were making out. Danny bit his bottom lip, looking Roy right in the eyes as he squirted lube on his hand. Roy’s mouth dropped when Danny started jerking him off with it. “That feel good?” Danny questioned with a smirk. His lips hovered over Roy’s. When Roy chased them for a kiss Danny backed away. “You’re amazing,” He kissed Roy’s neck instead. “So fucking sexy,” Danny praised with his lips dangerously close to Roy’s. He backed away again when Roy sought out a kiss, his lover whining at the deprivation; Which was all Danny wanted. “And all mine,” He crashed his lips against Roy’s. Desperate for him, Roy deepened the kiss immediately. His tongue pushed into Danny’s mouth, his hands held his face. Danny returned the passion Roy was kissing him with. “I love you,” Danny moaned against his lips.

“I love you too,” He grabbed at Danny, attempting to bring him closer than their two naked bodies pressing together. “I love you so much,” Roy panted. “I love you,” He became frantic in his actions. Trying to do everything he could to prove to Danny physically how much he loved him, as if chanting it against his lips wasn’t enough. “I can’t take this anymore,” Roy declared. “Bend over.” Darkness was all Danny saw in Roy’s eyes as his pupils were blown out. It made Danny’s mouth dry. He nodded his head like he was in a trace, bending over the bed like Roy said.

Roy swallowed down the hunger building inside of him at the sight of Danny’s hole on display. If he was religious he would stop right now to thank God for this man. Roy squirted more lube onto himself then onto Danny. He used his thumb to spread it on his fiancé, loving to see him squirm before he even did anything.

Roy adjusted Danny’s legs so he could position himself between them. Danny reached behind himself to hold himself open for Roy. The older man nearly melted at the sight. “You’re really trying to kill me aren’t you?” He sighed. Danny just shook his ass in Roy’s face; He took that as a yes.

Roy gripped his cock. “You’re good? You want this?” He pressed the head of his dick against Danny’s asshole.

The younger smiled with his tongue between his teeth while nodding. “Fuck yes.”

He glided inside of him, amazed at how easily Danny could take him now. Roy groaned, his eyes rolled back finally being surrounded by his lover. Roy gripped Danny’s hips. “You feel so good. You’re so good for me,” he rambled as he began slowly thrusting inside of Danny. The younger moaned as Roy started moving inside of him. He loved that familiar pressure of Roy filling him up.

“You can go faster, baby. I’m okay,” Danny gave Roy permission to skip the ‘warm up’ period. They were both as desperate as the other for Roy to start pounding into him.

“Let me know if you need to stop,” Roy said before slamming into Danny. Fast and hard was the pace; Clearly neither of them could hold off for anything less. Roy adjusted his angle until a high pitched yelp sounded from his fiancé. He focused his thrusting there, knowing he had found Danny’s prostate.

Roy’s fingers dug into Danny’s hips as his hammered away at him. Roy had never felt so desperate in his life. He wanted to feel every bit of Danny; Take as much of him as he could. Danny buried his face in the mattress as he bottomed out. Roy was fucking him with an intensity that he had never felt before, not even from Roy himself. “Oh my god,” Danny wanted to scream, but all that came out was a strangled whimper. “That’s so good! Fuck me, Roy.” Roy slapped Danny’s ass in the same spot as before. He watched as Danny’s body jumped from the hit and trembled at how it heightened his pleasure.

The pace became quicker. Danny couldn’t register anything that was going on beyond this moment. Tears welled in his eyes as Roy pounded against his prostate with each thrust, and with each thrust getting faster Danny could barely hold himself up. He was close to collapsing when he felt Roy’s hand pull his hair. His head snapped backwards with it. Roy holding his hair while he fucked him forced Danny to sit up a bit. His arms helped hold some of his weight, taking pressure off of his legs. “What good are those moans if I can’t hear you?” Roy growled. All the dirty talk made Danny’s balls throb. He moaned loudly for Roy, who showered him with praises once he did.

Bruises had to be forming under Roy’s fingertips. Every time his thrusts got harder his grip got tighter. The sound of their bodies smacking together echoed through the room, twirling around with their moans and whimpers. Roy was losing control. Danny had never been fucked so well in his life. Roy focused every bit of emotion he felt for Danny in his thrusting, and it started to get overwhelming for both of them.

“Ow!” Danny calling out in pain broke through every barrier between Roy and reality.

“Shit, Danny. I’m sorry,” He pulled out of his fiancé carefully. “Are you okay?” He rubbed Danny’s lower back. “Was I hurting you this whole time?”  

“No, no,” Danny reassured him. “This whole time has been great. That one was just a little much.”

Roy knew he was getting carried away. “We’ll slow it down then,” He decided. He grabbed a blanket off of the bed, spreading it out across the floor. “Come,” he opened his arms for Danny as he sat down. Without question Danny followed him. His legs gave out, making him fall into Roy’s lap. The couple giggled together. “Are you okay?” Roy asked.

“Yeah,” Danny answered between laughs.

“You still wanna do this?”

“Of course,” Danny smiled at him. “I’m fine.” Roy wound an arm around Danny’s waist. He pulled him in closer, adjusting Danny so he was in a proper position. Danny threw his arms around Roy’s neck, leaning in to catch his lips in a kiss. Danny moaned at the taste of his lover’s mouth. “I love you.”

“I love you, Dan.” Roy returned. He was so thankful he grew out of thinking that telling someone you love them every five minutes was embarrassing. He didn’t know how the two of them would survive not saying it like clockwork. Roy grabbed his dick, rubbing it in the rut of Danny’s ass.

“There,” Danny let Roy know when he found his asshole. Roy slowly pushed inside of him. Quiet whimpers were let out into Roy’s mouth. He allowed Danny to control how much he wanted to take from that point. He didn’t want to risk hurting him again. Roy’s hand moved to the back of Danny’s neck as he deepened their kiss.

Danny sunk down on Roy’s cock. Both men moaning when his dick disappeared between them. Danny used his knees for leverage as he started moving up and down languidly. Roy groaned as his fingers pressed into Danny’s hot flesh. Taking cues from the pace Danny set for himself, Roy started thrusting up; Meeting him half way and making beautiful sounds tumble from his lips. Danny whined, moving his face to Roy’s shoulder as their bodies rocked in sync with each other.

Roy’s hands ran up and down Danny’s back lovingly. Feeling the wet skin as he just wanted to touch his lover’s body. Danny’s arms tightened around Roy. He buried his face in Roy’s neck, occasionally pressing kisses to the sensitive area. Roy sighed. Everything felt so peaceful with Danny in this moment. He wasn’t too fond of the thought of it ending. The older man kept his thrusts calm and lazy. Danny followed Roy’s lead, sticking to whatever pace he set.

Roy lifted Danny’s chin to kiss him. The excitement from the kiss had both Roy and Danny speeding up the pace without realizing it. A guttural moan escaped from Roy when Danny clenched around him. The younger bit his fiancé’s lip, tugging it with him before catching his lips in another kiss. Roy’s nails scratched down Danny’s shoulder blades. Danny threw his head back as he rode Roy’s dick. His skinny arms stayed wrapped around Roy’s neck so he wouldn’t fall.

Roy stared at Danny in reverence for him. He was so vibrant and beautiful. The sweat on his body made him glisten. His lips were red and kiss swollen. Parted in a pant and shining with spit. His face scrunched up adorably, and his hair was damp with sweat. Roy quickened his hips just to watch his fiancé bounce in his lap with each thrust.

Roy took his bottom lip between his teeth. He could feel the start of his own orgasm building. “Danny...” The way Roy whined his name let Danny know his lover was close to his climax.

“I got you, babe,” Danny kissed his dimple. He pushed on Roy’s shoulders, guiding him to lay down. With the last bit of strength in Danny’s body he began riding Roy, not allowing Roy to help at all. “I wanna do this for you,” he moaned. Danny’s ass bounced against Roy’s v-line each time he slammed down. Roy scrambled for Danny’s hands, lacing their fingers together when he found them.

Roy wanting to hold hands as they made love caused butterflies to erupt in Danny’s chest. He pinned Roy’s arms above his head, leaning on him for stability while keeping their fingers intertwined. Danny hovered over him. Roy gave his hands a gentle squeeze. Danny smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Love you,” Danny mused happily.

“Love you too, babygirl.”

His hands tightened around Danny’s. As his orgasm got closer Roy began thrusting up into Danny frantically. With all of his strength Danny slammed back down with as much force as Roy thrust up with. His eyes began to water again at the intensity. His own orgasm approaching caused him to pulse around Roy. It was just what Roy needed to be taken over the edge. His thighs trembled as he came inside of Danny’s asshole. His stomach muscles twitched and contorted. The power of his orgasm made his whole body convulse.

“Woah,” Danny looked on in awe. He could barely focus on the amazing feeling of Roy’s liquid filling him up as he was taken back by the sight of Roy’s release. “That was hot,” he praised, leaning down to kiss Roy’s lips and chest. Roy wasn’t coherent enough to kiss back. His hands rested on Danny’s hips when Danny let them go. He focused on getting his breathing back to a normal pace.

Danny pulled off of Roy, rolling over to lie next to him. Roy threw an arm around him. Danny cuddled under it. “Give me a minute, I’ll finish you off,” Roy assured. He was so sated from his own orgasm he didn’t want to move an inch.

“S’okay, whatever you wanna do,” Danny said simply. Roy just had a stunning orgasm that left Danny breathless while watching, he wasn’t focused much on himself right now. Roy kissed Danny’s forehead, his fingers brushed through his raven locks. Danny caught Roy’s eyes when he looked up at him. They smiled at each other before moving in for a kiss. Roy tilted Danny’s chin to adjust the angle, and soon he was pulling Danny on top of him.

Danny moaned when Roy sucked his bottom lip. He gently nipped the younger before letting go. “C’mere,” Roy instructed, guiding Danny to move forward. He stopped him when Danny was in the perfect position. Roy leaned up to pepper kisses to Danny’s stomach. He kissed around his navel, across his pelvis, and down his happy trail. Danny had slipped into a state of bliss. His eyes were closed as a faint smile painted his lips. Roy couldn’t believe what an angel he was.

The older man laid back down. Danny scooted closer to him. Their eyes locked, Roy nodded to give him the okay to continue. Danny gripped the base of his dick, bringing the head to Roy’s lips. He guided himself into Roy’s mouth. His heart thumped at the sight of Roy below him gagging on his cock. Roy moaned around him, Danny’s eyes rolled back at the vibration. “Fuck,” he mumbled to himself. It wouldn’t take much of this to get Danny off. He was on the brink beforehand, and his thighs were already quivering as Roy bobbed around him.

Danny grabbed a fistful of Roy’s hair, using it to direct Roy’s movements. He made Roy go faster, thrusting into his mouth as his orgasm started to build again. Roy reached up to stroke Danny’s balls with his fingertips. The younger moaned his lover’s name as his body began to shutter.

Danny thrust himself into Roy’s mouth wildly. The hand in his hair pulled him harshly with Danny’s movements. Roy moaned, gagged, and coughed around him. His own hands were grabbing at Danny’s ass, his nails digging into the delicate flesh. “I’m gonna cum,” Danny warned before shooting his load down Roy’s throat. His body tensed up, shivers hitting like waves through his muscles. Roy swallowed every bit, his tongue swirled around the tip to make sure he licked Danny clean.

Danny collapsed in Roy’s arms. Roy wrapped him up in a warm embrace. He brushed strands of hair out of Danny’s eyes, happy that he was allowed to give such pleasure to this gorgeous creature.

The two eventually moved back to their bed. The blanket they fucked on now twirled around them. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” Roy announced. Danny yanked him back down when he attempted to get up.

“Don’t leave me,” Danny whined like a sad child.

“I’m just gonna shower, babe. You don’t wanna, too?”

Danny shook his head, “I hate showering.”

Roy looked at him with a blank expression. “You have cum in your asshole.”

“I like your cum in my asshole.” Roy rolled his eyes, but Danny didn’t let go. “Cuddle me until I fall asleep,” he pouted. Roy could never say no to Danny. Besides, he was practically half asleep anyway. Roy crawled back into bed, taking Danny in his arms. Danny clung to Roy, flinging himself around him. Roy’s hand slipped into Danny’s hair. He began massaging his scalp, knowing all Danny needed to fall asleep was someone playing with his hair. The younger moaned at the contact, nuzzling his face into Roy’s chest.

Soon Danny was snoring. Like trying to get through security beams Roy contorted his way out of Danny’s grip, pushing the blanket into his arms so he’d have something to hold while Roy was showering.

Twenty minutes later Danny hadn’t moved from where Roy left him. His naked body wrapped around the blanket Roy put in his arms. Roy didn’t have as much luck with sleep as his fiancé did. He stayed up for most of the night. At one point he got so bored he actually woke Courtney up via texts to harass her into teaching him how to make a boomerang. He took one of Danny lying in bed fast asleep, wrote can’t sleep on the video, and posted it to Adore’s Instagram story. Roy chuckled to himself thinking about Adore’s fans trying to figure out how she posted that.

Roy took another one just for them. One of him kissing Danny’s forehead as he slept. He saved it to Danny’s phone for him to find whenever he would.

——

“Honey, I’m home,” Roy called out as he entered their hotel room. He tossed his coat on the floor by the door. Just one of the less desirable habits of Danny’s that he had picked up over time.

“In here,” Danny yelled from the bathroom. Roy made his way to him, the sight in the bathroom struck a terror through his soul. The whole place was covered in red. The sink, the counter, the mirror, the floors, the shirt his fiancé was wearing. Danny turned around and it made Roy go pale. The red stained his arms all the way up to his elbows. “Hi, Willow,” Danny greeted cheerfully as if nothing was wrong.

Roy grabbed Danny’s wrists to inspect him with wide eyes and a racing heart. “Danny, baby, what happened?” Roy spoke frantically. He cupped his cheek where there was a splatter of red.

“I’m dyeing my wig.” Roy’s face changed from soft eyes and a concerned look to an unamused expression. He dropped his hand from Danny’s face. “What?” Danny followed him out into the room.

“Don’t you already have a red wig?” Roy questioned, deciding to bypass the fact he thought Danny had severed an artery.

“Yeah, but I didn’t bring that one. I thought I would use the pink wig for Ariel, but then I fell down a YouTube hole. Now my blonde wig’s red!” Danny was so pleased with himself it was actually pretty cute.

Roy chuckled, “So you have a red wig, but decided to dye the blonde wig that I bought you red?”

“Yeah. I can buy another blonde wig.”

“But I bought you that one. It was a nice, expensive wig.”

“You can buy me another one then!” Roy groaned. “Stop being a crab,” Danny teased. He moved to sit on Roy’s lap, bopping his lose with a finger that had extra dye on it. “How was the show? Did Courm talk through it? She always talks through everything.”

“You guys have that in common,” Roy mumbled. “It was good. We got to go backstage and meet her,” Roy said with a smile.

“That’s sick, babe! Did anything else happen?”

“Other than that it was a regular show. I mean it was amazing, but that was the cherry on top.”

Danny grinned at how Roy was beaming. Sometimes it was difficult to get Roy to talk about the things he liked. When he did it was utterly adorable. “I’m glad you had fun, babe,” Danny kissed his cheek. “I have to finish dyeing my wig, and you,” Danny poked his chest, “should get some sleep before the show tomorrow.” They kissed each other goodnight before parting incase Roy fell asleep before Danny was done. “Oh, wipe the dye off your nose before you go to bed,” Danny giggled before running into the bathroom.

“What?” Roy wiped his nose to find a dye stain on the back of his hand. “You little fuck!” He yelled. Roy heard Danny cackling from the bathroom.

—— Adore and Bianca walked hand and hand into Courtney’s dressing room where they had all decided to meet when they were done getting ready.

Courtney and Darienne shared a look before Courtney rolled on top of her. The blonde simulated riding Darienne while they both started moaning obnoxiously in an exaggerated tone.

“Oh, Roy, that feels so good! Fuck me! Fuck me!” Courtney took on the task of mimicking Danny.

“Shit, Danny! You’re so amazing! Dan, baby!” Darienne took on the task of mimicking Roy.

“I love you,” Courtney whined in an annoyingly high pitched voice.

“I love you more, baby,” Darienne made kissy faces at Courtney while smacking her ass.

Bianca just rolled her eyes at the pair. She didn’t appreciate the mocking, but it was all in good fun. The day Bianca Del Rio made a fuss about a silly joke was the day she quit drag and started her career knitting scarfs on Etsy.  

“You guys are assholes,” Adore chuckled along with them. She wasn’t one to be shy about her sexuality.

“From what we heard I’m surprised you’re walking with the beating yours took,” Darienne couldn’t help herself. Adore covered her open mouth. She was stuck between being shocked and rolling on the floor cackling. Her eyes shifted over towards Bianca who had completely detached herself from the situation. She sat in a folding chair in a corner of the room while scrolling through her phone. Adore walked over to her and gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze.

“You guys talk a lot during sex. Is that some new kink the kids are into?” Darienne really, really could not help herself from continuing.

“Don’t shame them!” Courtney smacked her arm. She turned her attention to the couple, “Communication is key during sex. It’s not only sweet, but necessary how many times you checked on Dorey. I’m proud of you guys,” Courtney said like the overbearing, yet well meaning mother she was.

Bianca shot her a look of disgust, “What the fuck? Did you guys listen to us the whole time?”

Courtney nodded her head. “With our ears pressed to the wall,” Darienne said.

“Don’t do that again.”

“Yeah, that’s actually really uncomfortable,” Adore backed Bianca up though she didn’t necessarily care herself.

The two threw their hands up in defeat.

“Sorry.”

“Our bad.”

——

Thank you for being a friend…

Adore bounced around backstage, the adrenaline from the show still coursing through her veins. When Bianca walked in from behind the curtain Adore jumped into her arms. Bianca embraced her warmly. “I suppose you had fun,” Bianca said as she patted Adore on the back. A smile still plastered on her own face.  

Adore was so ramped  up she still hopped in place as Bianca held her. Courtney and Darienne walked pass without a second glance. They were much too used to the couple by now to be phased by their affection. “That was fucking awesome! I haven’t enjoyed a show like that in a while.” Adore broke away from their hug to start walking back to the dressing rooms. Bianca grabbed her hand, holding it tightly and gently tugging her back a few steps so they could walk side by side.

“I had fun too,” Bianca agreed. “It felt more comfortable than usual.”

“No shit,” Adore was quick in her response. “You held my hand a lot,” She teased, waving their joined hands in the air.

“I did,” Bianca said nonchalantly.

“And you pretended to fuck me…And,” Adore said with more of an inflection in her tone, “you joked about fucking me.”

“I did that as well.”

“Even after getting all pouty when Courm and Darienne did it,” Adore poked Bianca’s cheek.

Bianca shrugged, “It helps if I do it. If I do, they can’t.”

Adore nodded. She understood how that made sense. “What do you think the fans are gonna think?”

“I don’t think I care what anybody might think.”

—— Roy held Danny’s hand as he took off his makeup. Danny had decided to wear his face for a bit longer. “We have to sleep on the bus tonight,” Roy reminded him.

“I hate the bus.”

“I know you do. Do you think we’ll both be able to squeeze into one bunk?” Roy didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to sleep in the same bed as his fiancé. Their schedules had gotten so hectic lately they were lucky to spend a full twenty four hours together.

“Probably. You’re tiny, Roy. You don’t take up much space.”

——

“I hate the bus,” Danny sighed as he approached theirs.

“I know, babe,” Roy rubbed his shoulder.

They climbed up the short staircase into the bus and stored away their luggage. Danny pushed back a bed curtain, “They look like a decent size. If we squish together we should be able to fit.”

“You guys can not have sex on this bus,” Courtney said in passing. “We’re gonna be right next to you!”

“Yeah, no shitting or fucking on the bus,” Darienne added.

“Fuck you guys! It was okay when you had your ear pressed up to the wall listening to us,” Roy shot back.

“Yeah, fuck off!” Danny laughed. “Who could even fuck in these tiny ass beds anyway?” He rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his fiancé. “Get in, let’s see if we can make this happen.”

Roy climbed into the bunk. “It is pretty roomy.” He held out a hand for Danny to take as he crawled in.

“Oh, yeah. This is fine.” Danny laid down. Roy had to situate himself a bit. Once he did he ended up in the perfect position to lay his head on Danny’s chest while being cuddled. His eyes began to grow heavy. His hand was under Danny’s shirt rubbing his stomach.

“I’m gonna go to sleep, Dan,” He mumbled, his journey to slumber already in motion.

“Goodnight, Willow,” Danny kissed him on the forehead. He rested his chin on Roy’s head, shutting his eyes and attempting to get some sleep on this bumpy ride himself.

——

Bianca stood behind Adore in their dressing room, brushing through her long pink wig. She pretended that she was helping her get ready, but Adore had been done for last twenty minutes. Bianca just wanted an excuse to touch her. She noticed her fiancé staring down at her engagement ring with a look of sadness, spinning it around on her finger. “Is something wrong?” Bianca asked nervously.

Her words shook Adore out of her thoughts. “What?” Adore looked up at Bianca. She shook her head when she realized what she was asking. “Oh, no, I just…,” Adore trailed off, beginning to fiddle with her ring again. She didn’t want to sound stupid, but she knew Bianca would never make her feel that way. “I hate having to take it off. It feels wrong.”

Bianca sat down in the chair next to her, taking her hand in hers. “Babe, look at me,” Bianca waited for Adore to look her in the eyes. “Do you want to tell our fans that we’re engaged?”

“Hell no,” Adore shot that idea down as quickly as Bianca proposed it. She sighed seeing Bianca’s expression fall. “I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want people to know. We’ve made it this far this smoothly because we’re quiet about it. I don’t want people to know, but I wish they did. I wanna be able to wear my ring,” Adore’s tone dripped in defeat.

Bianca squeezed her hand. “It doesn’t matter if they know, Danny. We do. We know, and that’s all that’s important.” Adore smiled weakly at her. She appreciated her fiancé trying to make her feel better, but it didn’t help.

“C’mon cunts! Showtime’s in ten minutes!” Courtney called into their dressing room.

Adore slid her ring off of her finger. “Showtime,” She said dryly before dropping it into a lock and key jewelry box.

—— “We’re engaged!” Bianca screamed at Adore on stage. Adore’s eyes widened. She held back the enormous smile attempting to break out on her face.

Adore didn’t know what to do or how to react; So she wrapped her entire body around Bianca’s from behind. In hindsight that only made the situation look more suspicious, but if Bianca could be as bold as she had been on stage Adore hugging her wouldn’t do much damage. —— “What the hell was that?” Adore slapped Bianca playfully on the arm when they got backstage.

“You said you wanted people to know without them really knowing, so…”

Adore’s mouth dropped. She couldn’t believe Bianca would go out on an edge like that just to make her feel better. It was perfect, too. Nobody knew if Bianca was completely joking, or joking because she was completely serious. Adore threw her arms around Bianca’s neck, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You’re the absolute best, B.”

—— Danny had a solo show to be at on their day off. Roy spent the night drinking and missing him. As Adore was getting ready her phone started to blow up with notifications

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 I mizss yowu

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 owhen are ydou comiong bacsk

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 ?

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 No funm wkithout youi

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 :(

Danny giggled at his phone. How lucky was he to have a fiancé who when they got drunk only thought about telling him how much they missed him?  

Danny ❤️ It’s only been half a day baby

Danny ❤️ I’ll be back in a few hours okay?

Danny ❤️ I love you I miss you too 💗

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 No coyme bcak nnow plebase t

Danny frowned at the ‘please’. Roy was so adorable.

Danny ❤️ Three more hours and I’ll be on my way

Danny ❤️ Are you still out?

Danny ❤️ Make Courtney or Darienne take you back to the bus to sleep a little

Danny ❤️ I think you might be a bit too drunk babe

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 Okya

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 I loove yoku

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 Cone bzack soon

Danny ❤️ I‘m coming right back after this show my love

Danny ❤️ Get some rest I’ll wake you up when I get back 💚

Husband 🌸💛💍💕 Ghoofnight

——

That was a wrap. The ABCD tour had ended. Roy and Danny went out to celebrate and spend time together before Roy had to start press for his next show. They pounded back shot after shot. Occasionally one would pull the other into a hidden corner of the club or a bathroom stall for a makeout session. Roy had a few too many drinks over his limit by the time they were making last call.

The couple clasped hands so they wouldn’t get separated in the large crowd pouring out of the bar. Unfortunately, their efforts had failed. Danny was no where to be found when Roy managed to stumble outside. Scared, confused, and most of all drunk, Roy started crying. “Danny?!” He sobbed, calling out for the man. In his altered state losing Danny was much more dramatic than it actually was. He thought he’d never see him again. That Danny had been whisked away in some Taken-style ambush which Roy was in no condition to Liam Neesan his way out of it.

Roy frowned. The wind blowing against tears streaming down his face made his cheeks cold. He plopped down onto the ground, leaning up against a potted plant. “Dan?!” Roy yelled for his fiancé again. He didn’t know what he was gonna do without Danny. How was he suppose to gather the will to get up from this spot knowing he’d never see—

“Roy?!” The older man perked up when he heard Danny’s voice. “Roy!” The sound got closer and soon Danny was standing in front of him. Roy’s eyes lit up. He reached out for Danny, who immediately helped him off of the dirty street. Danny secured an arm tightly around Roy’s waist to keep him from falling. “Baby, why are you crying?” Danny brushed his tears away. Red flashed before Danny’s eyes; His hands balled into fists instinctively. “Did someone hurt you? Is that why you were on the ground?” He began working himself up into an angry frenzy. Danny examined Roy’s face for any budding bruises or cuts. “I’ll fucking kill them. Who was it?” He looked out into the sea of people still buzzing around the bar. “Do you see them?”

Roy looked at him as if he had grown two heads. “No! I thought I lost you forever,” Roy slurred out an explanation, burying his face in Danny’s chest as he hugged him tighter.

“Oh,” Danny only had a split second to feel silly before he started comforting his fiancé. “I’m here. You were never gonna lose me,” Danny rubbed a soothing hand over his back. Roy was smashed. Danny had a few drinks, but thankfully for Roy’s sake he hadn’t reached anywhere near his level. Danny scooped Roy up in his arms bridal style without any trouble. “Let’s get you back to the hotel, yeah?” Roy nodded. Danny kissed him on the head.

“I’m gonna sleep here,” Roy said as Danny started walking. He leaned his head against Danny’s shoulder, closing his eyes for rest. Danny smiled down at him.

It was a short walk to the hotel, filled with a lot less stares than Danny expected carrying around a grown man passed out in his arms. The front desk gave him a bit of trouble, but once he showed the woman working their matching tattoos, engagement video, and Courtney running down in a bath towel to vouch for them she let them upstairs with a promise that she would be checking in on them at some point to make sure everything was okay.

Danny laid Roy down in bed carefully. He started untying his shoes and pulling them off when Roy woke up. “Hey, Mr. I can do all these shots my tolerance level is higher than you,” Danny teased, keeping his voice low and soft.

Roy groaned. Still just as drunk as he was before, looking at Danny caused him to burst into tears. Danny’s face fell as quickly as Roy’s breakdown came on. He crawled up the bed, wrapping Roy’s entire body in his arms and moving him to sit in his lap. “My love, calm down,” Danny rocked him back and forth. He treated Roy as if he was trying to comfort a child having a tantrum (little did he know he would be doing just that with their own kids in a few years time) since he assumed all of this was brought on by the alcohol. “What’s wrong, Roy? You have to tell me what’s wrong so I can make it better,” Danny cooed to him, combing his fingers through Roy’s short hair a few times.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Roy managed to get out between sobs and hiccuping.

“Willow, you’re drunk,” Danny tried to reassure him. “You’ll feel better when you sleep this off.” It just upset him further. Roy pushed Danny away from him.

“No! It’s not that! I miss you all the time. Everyday,” Roy’s crying grew heavier. “I never get to hold you or kiss you. I never get to hug you when I want to hug you. I wanna hug you! I wanna wake up and you’re right,” Roy drunkly slapped the opposite side of the bed, “there. I wanna talk to you, not to a stupid phone on stupid FaceTime. I wanna hold your hand while we wear our rings.”

Sure, if Roy was sober he’d be making a more eloquent argument, but Danny was brought to tears by the end of it nonetheless. There was nothing Danny could do to make it better. Everything Roy listed off couldn’t be fixed without a career change and mirrored how Danny often felt himself. He laced his fingers with Roy’s. “I know. I miss you too,” He said sadly. “But we’ve made this work for years. We’re Roy and Danny. Bianca and Adore. We’re not gonna let anything break us up, or make us feel like what we have isn’t special and worth fighting through all that shit to have it. We’re together forever, asshole,” Danny squeezed his hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “You’re stuck with me,” Danny smiled at his fiancé, managing to get a smile in return.

[kittensjonsa]

For @jonsa-creatives‘ Jonsa Spring Challenge Day 6: Song 

Where’s My Love - SYML

Summary: Recovering from her traumatic abduction, Sansa finds herself in a unique but necessary situation - stowed away as a vital witness under the protection of the Federal Government and one handsome FBI Agent, Jon Snow, keen to do his job well. Despite their arrangement and trying hard to be unaffected by what is happening around them, Jon and Sansa find themselves inexplicably drawn to each other. Rated PG. TW: abduction, implied torture, PTSD

Cold Bones

What she thought was sweat, tasted like blood. 

Sansa flinched at the thought, desperate to pry her hands free of the chained cuffs on her wrists. She would break her own arms but what good would it do in escaping this hell hole? Her laboured breathing slowly turned into sobs as the fear finally gripped her. 

I don’t want to die. Not like this.

“There you are my queen,” Sansa heard the door creak open. Squinting at the sudden light pouring into the room, Sansa watched as a shadow approached her. Grunting, she sat up, moving further, backing into the wall as much as she could. If only the ground would swallow her, it was a fate she desired more than this one.

“Look at you, you’re hurt my precious. Hope I wasn’t too hard on you. Well, I will be but for now,” Ramsay’s voice trailed off as he dabbed at her damp forehead. The dull ache returned and Sansa felt the room spin once more.

“Well, that was just warm up. I’m preparing you for your destiny, Sansa. Do you not know how important you are to me?” Ramsay sneered as he seized her arms and forced her to face him. 

Sansa had no will nor the breath to say a word. Only a tear that rolled off her cheek and onto the dirty concrete floor. 

With her eyes shut and one final deep breath, Sansa muttered her last prayer.

Jon’s heart was pounding wildly as beads of sweat pooled on his forehead. He listened intently for further instructions and counted slowly in his head, his body bent low, taut and in position. Stealthily, Jon moved towards the door with his revolver pointed straight as Edd and Grenn crept closely behind. Jon swallowed the sharp cold air as he listened again for any voices behind the frame. He had to be in the right place. All the evidence they had led to this very location. His instincts had strongly agreed and that was enough for him. He knew it, he felt it. The sick bastard’s time is up.

A muffled scraping and squeak broke the silence and Jon quickly signaled to his squad. It was all he needed to take action. His ass is mine.

A rhythmic beeping kept drifting in and out of Sansa’s ears and her mind’s eye was shrouded in bright white. Am I in heaven? Am I truly dead, she thought. Mama, Papa.. my family.

“Shhh… I’m here my darling girl. Right here,” her mother’s hushed voice spoke, to her surprise. 

“She’s up… Oh thank God.”

“Sansa…”

Tears formed under her closed lids as soft familiar voices surrounded her and Sansa wanted to run, towards them, to those voices. Not the white light. Where are you? A firm warm grip on her hand gave Sansa the strength to open her eyes.

Tears blurred her vision but there he was, her father standing over her with eyes brimming. “Oh! My sweet girl!” 

For the first time in her life, God was real. And He had heard her.

“Mr Stark, I understand your concerns but for now I think that’s the best alternative.”

“But my daughter isn’t the criminal! She was the victim! You can’t do this to us, not after what she has been through. And all she needs now is her family. The last thing we want is the FBI surrounding her. She needs to be safe!”

Davos sighed. He understood perfectly how Ned Stark must be feeling but Davos also knew that if Sansa were to return home, more people would turn up dead. Including her. Until further evidence uncovered to prove the Boltons were behind the trafficking ring, Sansa was not out of the woods yet. A safe house is what she needs.

“With all due respect sir, her safety is exactly what we’re keeping. She is our only lead in the investigation and believe me, Mr Stark, she will be helping a lot of people. She will be saving lives. But it is also extremely dangerous for her right now. I’m sorry, Mr Stark. We will make sure we stay in contact with you to let you know that all is fine and well. Please understand, the Witness Protection Program is, unfortunately necessary, for Sansa. I promise you, she’ll be in good hands.”

Ned looked down, fighting back tears again. He was beyond exhausted. He almost lost Sansa once and now that she was found, he had to let her go again. “Catelyn would be devastated. She doesn’t deserve all of this. None of us do.”

It was a heartbreaking but the more time it took to convince them, the more dangerous the operation would become. There was no knowing what the Boltons were getting up to, now that their mastermind and heir to the crime family’s empire was shot dead.

Davos laid a hand on the shoulder of the sobbing father.“I promise you, she’ll be well taken care of. We have our best agents on the job. Jon Snow. He was the one who saved your daughter, Mr Stark. And he’s the best one to keep your daughter safe. Please, Mr Stark. For her safety and your family’s.”

Ned glanced again at Catelyn who was cradling Sansa’s head, stroking her hair gently. “Let us say goodbye to her, then. Please.” 

There was no more he could say. Nothing that could make it better. It was the worst part of his job. The hardest and he hated it every time it came up.

Davos could only nod.

Sansa limped to the bed and surveyed her surroundings. It was cozy and simple but it was cold. The whole house was cold, without her family. 

“I hope this would do. The clothes are in there if you need to change and I guess.. I’ll go prepare dinner. There’s a button at the bedside table and press that if you need help. Oh, and a panic button just here,” the young man dressed in a suit with a head of combed down curls pointed to the edge of the headboard. “You know, if anything comes up. Which I’m sure it won’t. And I’m Jon.”

Sansa smoothed the small crinkles of her bed sheet and sighed defeatedly.

 “Thank you, Jon.”

It was a pain to walk or move but thankfully the kitchen was just around the corner from her room. Sansa hadn’t changed from the dress her mother had helped put on at the hospital. She didn’t have the courage to remove anything covering her body. Not yet. It was too soon to see the scars. 

Soft rock music and sizzles filled the kitchen and a delicious scent wafted through the air. Sansa watched as Jon, now clad in a t shirt and jeans stir the pan, bopping his head along to the music, unaware she was standing right behind.

“It smells good here.”

Jon almost dropped his spatula at the sound of her voice. “Oh Miss Stark! Sorry I didn’t hear you.”

Sansa winced as she sat down gently on the nearest chair. Jon rushed to help only to be refused by Sansa. 

“It’s all right. I can manage. I can’t depend on you all the time. It’s not like you’ll be around the house all the time anyways,” Sansa smiled politely. Jon turned off the heat and grabbed some plates. He hoped she’d like stir fry. It was the easiest thing to make given the short notice. 

“Actually, Miss Stark, I won’t be leaving your side at all. The house, I mean. Wherever you go, I go. So yeah, I won’t be leaving unless we have to.”

Sansa frowned. “Wait… What do you when we have to? You mean, we’re stuck in this house? That’s it? Well, what am I gonna do then to spend the time?”

“Well, your doctor’s appointments that’s one,” Jon said warily as he poured iced water for her, “and we can go out if you’d like. I just need clearance. I have a computer if you need to do anything and some books if you’d like to read. But yes mostly we’ll be staying.. in.”

Sansa suddenly lost her appetite. She had been rescued from one dungeon but only to enter another. “I’m sorry, I’m not hungry now. I think I’d like to go to sleep. Thank you for dinner, excuse me Jon…” Sansa sipped some water and began to stand up. Her heart started to race and her palms sweaty. She wanted to go home. 

“Miss… It’s just protocol.. I’m sorry if it’s something I said, I didn’t mean to-”

“My name is Sansa! Don’t they tell you that in the case file? Aren’t you supposed to know who the hell it is you’re protecting? For fuck’s sake!”

Jon kept silent and sat back down on his chair.

“I just want to be with my family! I deserve that at least! Why won’t you people let me?” Sansa snapped and headed slowly to her room. It had barely been three days since she left the hospital and all she wanted was to go back home and lay in her own bed, in her own room. Her family would keep her safe but deep down she knew it was true, a nagging sense that she was still very much in danger. 

A few hours had probably passed as Sansa stared at the ceiling and the unmoving fan that hung from it, that a growl in her stomach pushed her to get up. It was already dark and the view from the windows was only darkness. Sansa could not remember what it had looked like earlier during the day but she did not care. They were in godforsaken nowhere. The view was the least she cared about. Sansa was about to walk towards the door when a gentle knock almost made her jump. Dammit Jon.

“Sansa? Is everything all right? May I come in, please?”

Sansa hesitated. She should apologize but her mood wasn’t any better than a few hours ago.

“Sure, Jon. Come in.”

The door opened to a smiling Jon holding a tray of food. “I figured you might be hungry. Please eat Sansa. It’ll make you feel better. Please? It’s edible, I swear.”

Sansa’s mouth broke into a smile and opened the door wider for him to enter. “Thank you Jon. And for just now.. I’m sor-”

Jon shook his head. “Ah, no please don’t apologize. Besides, I get yelled at a lot. You can ask my Captain.”

Sansa sat up on the bed and pricked on a morsel of the heated stir fry with her fork. “Oh, this is good. You’re a good cook, Mr FBI Agent. What else do they teach you at the academy?”

Jon chuckled. “Shooting, unarmed combat, profiling criminals. You know, your typical every day stuff.”

Sansa smiled as she chewed on another piece of broccoli. “Of course.” Jon watched as she ate, his shy glances darting back and forth. Well, at least he’s cute. Not too bad to get stuck with.

“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow Jon? Or is there a plan?”

Jon furrowed his brows, wondering what to say. There was no plan. Keeping her safe, supervising Sansa Stark at all times and reporting to Davos by midnight was his plan. He had to think of something in between seven thirty in the morning and midnight.

“Well, not much. No plans. We can play board games, cook and watch some dvds, I guess. Would that be okay for you? Your next appointment is next week, which I’ll be coming with you.”

Sansa looked away and took a sip of water. She felt sorry that Jon had to be stuck with her. It was all her fault. Her fault that she went against her intuition and met with Ramsay that night. But all she wanted to do was tell him to back off and leave her alone. She thought she was able to handle him by herself. And all this; alone and locked away in obscurity without her family by her side, was all because of her.

“Sansa? If you don’t like that we can do something else,” Jon chimed in, sensing her discomfort. 

Sansa bristled. “Anything but going out in public, right?”

“For now, yes. But it won’t be forever.” No. But my scars will be.

The days passed and eventually blended as Sansa often did not know what day it was apart from the radio that Jon turned on every now and then. Neither did she care. She was still trapped in the house anyway. For God knows how long still. Jon had kept details of the investigation safe from her knowledge. And appreciatively so, for any mention of the Bolton name would give her nightmares. 

Jon and her had settled into a comfortable routine, him staying awake while she slept, and him resting while she was awake. They took turns to cook for one another. Sansa even baked her specialty, lemon cakes - which Jon had secretly grown to love. Groceries and things she asked for were delivered once a week, and almost every other day there was a new book to read and a new board game. But a favourite of theirs was Scrabble and some days the games went well into the night, allowing her to rest well after. Her sleep had gotten considerably better since the first night she arrived.

Sometimes, they would even go for a walk as Sansa needed to make sure her legs were healing but it tickled her that she had to put on a ridiculous wig and a cap everywhere they went. 

“It.. suits you,” Sansa remembered Jon tell her as she had the wig on for the first time. 

It was strange seeing herself with dark almost raven like hair. She looked like another person entirely. Which of course, was the whole point. It was strange to Sansa that she was beginning to enjoy this whole new other life vastly different from her old one. She could be anything, say anything and Jon allowed her to be. It was liberating despite the circumstances. There was no one to tell her she was wrong, no one to tell her she was not doing a good job. There was no noise. It was just her in her own little protective bubble. And it worked wonders. She had her bad days, when nightmares proved too much and missing her family had often dragged her down but having someone she could talk to and spend time with, was a lifesaver. Sshe was beginning to trust again. After what she had gone through, this was a milestone. And for that Sansa was beyond grateful. It was one thing that came unexpected.

“Hey Sansa, did you ask for hair dye?”

Sansa peered into the cardboard box that Jon was unpacking. 

“Yeah. I got tired of wearing the wig. Thought I might just change it completely. I mean, it’s easier right?”

Jon read the label and handed the box to her. “You don’t have to but sure, if it helps.”

Her last appointment with the doctor was the following week and it saddened her that she may not be out and about again. It was nice seeing a familiar part of town again. Although, she was still getting used to being called Alayne. Her pseudonym that Jon gave her when they were about in public. Jon had addressed her a few times and Sansa had often missed it but he assured her it wasn’t a big of a deal. 

Sansa dabbed the sides of her face that was streaked with black dye as she unwrapped the towel on her head. Flipping her head back, Sansa gasped as she stared at herself in the mirror. Black hair with blue eyes, eyes she recognised but a face that wasn’t her own. “Alayne,” she whispered. 

“Sansa, dinner’s read-” Jon paused suddenly, slack jawed at the dark haired beauty before him.

“You dyed your hair.. umm.. wow,” Jon gulped as he stared at her. Longer than he was supposed to. Sansa tucked her hair shyly behind her ears and sat down at the table. Jon was still visibly staring as he sat down on his chair. It made her chuckle at his gaze transfixed on her. He likes it, maybe.

“Well, do you like it?”

Jon blinked, finally and looked away, flustered. “Umm.. yeah I do. It looks good on you, Sansa.”

Sansa raised her finger to object. “Ah uh, Alayne.”

Jon smiled. “Right. Alayne.”

The dinner was unusually quiet, especially on Jon’s part although there were many instances where she nearly caught him staring at her. For some reason, the air between them possessed a palpable electric charge. And for once, between them, tension filled the atmosphere. It was both unnerving and amusing at once. This had never happened before and Sansa wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. Break the ice, she thought. The weird tension was making the room strangely warmer than usual. Just for fun. Fuck it, it’s been a while.

“You know, I’ve never watched p0rn.” Jon almost choked on his fish and coughed. “I beg your pardon?”

“I’ve never watched p0rn. Could we maybe get a DVD on one?”

Jon stared at her wide eyed, wiping his mouth, confused at the highly peculiar request. “Umm…. I guess that could be arranged.. if you wish.”

Sansa grinned slyly at the reaction she was getting. This is fun, this new persona. She could be anything and right now she wanted to be a flirt. It had been a while since she felt attractive, wanted or even beautiful. Ramsay had taken all of that away from her. But right here, right now with Jon Snow she was Alayne, the raven haired beauty armed with blood red lipstick and steely confidence. Sansa Stark could only dream to be like her.

“Although I would have to explain that to my umm.. captain.”

“Don’t. Tell him Alayne asked for it. Let’s just say, I’m curious.”

Jon chewed slowly on another piece of fish and sipped his water. 

What is going on right now?

He had no clue and he was not trained for this. PTSD? It was well documented that the disorder can cause changes in behaviour - but she was fine hours ago, he thought. What a 180. Nevertheless, he had to tread carefully. Maybe even hoped that it was just a prank Sansa was pulling. Though the stares she kept giving him had made him more uneasy than amused. It gave his cock something to wake up to. Great timing. Besides, it was hard to deny the bright red lips and the simple black dress she had on was doing things to him. 

Sansa decided to push it further. This, made her feel things. Why not?

“Maybe something on.. I don’t know, anal? With ropes and tying.”

Jon spat out his drink and stood up to excuse himself. He had to. And to take a deep breath. In the corner of his eye, Sansa was clearly smiling, almost giggling as her shoulders began to shake slightly but it was obvious she was struggling to keep her composure. Perhaps it is a prank, he thought. Haha, funny. Maybe he could play along too, if that’s what she wants. Hell, the night is still young and there’s nothing else to do. Inhaling another deep breath and smirking to himself, Jon returned to his seat. 

“Are you all right, Mr Snow? Don’t you like anal?”

Jon bit down his own laughter. “No I can’t say I do. I haven’t tried. Have you, Alayne?”

Sansa eyed him with a single raised eyebrow and Jon watched as the corners of her mouth turned up slightly. He’s playing along, how sweet. Let’s play, then.

“No but something tells me I need to be more adventurous.”

“Oh, is that right? Well, one shouldn’t be deprived of such… Adventures. And watching the DVD would help, how exactly?”

Sansa pursed her lips as Jon struck her with a question beating her at her own game. It was clear to her asking questions was his forte. He’s a bloody FBI agent, you idiot, of course he knows how to ask questions.

But Sansa would not give in. It was getting interesting, so perhaps… not just yet.

“Visuals. A how to video that tells me exactly what I should do to experience the pleasure it promises to deliver.” Sansa cringed at the line. Even the worst TV writers wouldn’t come up with that. She was losing and losing fast. 

Jon licked his lips and smiled. “Oh, I’m sure it will be pleasurable. You just need the right partner and the right tools.” 

He had to stop before he burst into laughter at the word ‘tools’. “Okay, Sansa, I’m sorry, please stop. I can’t.. oh my, that was hilarious.” 

Jon shook his head and happily returned to finishing his dinner when a hand crept up his thigh that made him jump. 

Sansa inched closer and licked her lips. “My name is Alayne. Tell me if you’re the right partner. And who the fuck is Sansa?”

Jon drew a sharp breath and grabbed Sansa’s hand that was almost pawing at his stiff cock. 

“Sansa, please don’t do this, I beg you. I’m not… I’m not here to take advantage of you. Not after what you’ve been through. Please… I’m here to protect you. Sansa, don’t make my job more difficult than it already is.”

Sansa glanced down at her plate and back to Jon’s gaze. His eyes had grown dark and it almost frightened her but she could not look away. His mouth were saying those words but his eyes were saying a different thing. It was just so… different from what she was used to. ‘No’ was always her line. To the men who groped and pawed at her, who thought she was something to be owned, who whistled at her and who tried all means to touch her without permission. 

But here was this man, who swore to protect her, looked after her and listened to her, held her tight when she cried out in the night waking up in bed in cold sweat And refused her because of his word and honour. It was admirable and in a weird way, turned her on instantly. She knew she wasn’t supposed to. They weren’t supposed to. But then again, who’s watching? 

“Why is it difficult, Jon? Am I difficult for you?”

Jon glared at her and shifted uncomfortably with her hand firmly in his, resting on the table. Jon squeezed her hand, the tension was a little too much now. Out with it.

“No. You’re not,” he paused as he tilted his head slightly away from hers. “I just… Being here with you, alone in this house, sitting with with you, laughing with you, holding you in my arms.. is difficult. Because… because I fucking want you. So much, it hurts inside. But.. but I can’t.”

Jon shut his eyes and released her hand. Covering his face, he was far too embarrassed and regretted his confession. So many things could go wrong, losing his job and his entire career for one. But Sansa.. he’s never met anyone like her. He’s never cared for anyone like the way he cared for her. He had even started missing her when he had to leave her at the doctor’s office and her therapist appointments. He had denied many times, too many to count. But every time he looked into those blue eyes and a smile that could light up the night sky, he knew he was in it, deep. No, his head reminded constantly but yet his heart said the opposite. And that was why it was so goddamned difficult. 

“Jon, look at me.”

He hesitated but looking up, Jon found himself nose to nose with Sansa. Shit.

“Sansa, please… I can’t.. we can’t.”

With a touch as light as a feather but burned right through him, Sansa cupped his face gently. 

“Kiss me.”

To be continued…

Okay fixed it and hope you enjoyed… whatever this is lol ( I tried but it’s 3 am and I’m stuck)

Till next time!

Elle xxx

[ecotone99]

[HR] Objects in the Rearview Mirror May be Closer Than They Appear

​

This one is my first go at a scary story! Let me know what you think!

*****

As far as anyone was concerned, there was nothing wrong with the car, except maybe that both Grandpa and Great Uncle Jim had died in it. Of course, if one could get past sitting down where two old guys bit the dust, she really was a beauty. Luke Ballinger’s seventy-five Mustang convertible was cherry red, with the original leather still intact and a chrome bumper that sparkled and shone like the day it hit the market. And though he’d taken extra care to ensure that the black, rubbery tonneau cover didn’t lose its luster during the time it was secure between the windshield and the trunk (which was every day for the ten years he had it) it still looked like it was aching to get out of the sun. Gloria, as the car had been christened, wasn’t just a convertible. It was like she wanted to cart around a group of hip teenagers with the roof torn down and her speakers straining with rock and roll and dirty pop songs. She sat in the driveway with a look about her that screamed anticipation; she had an engine that rested on its toes, bound beneath a slick hood that bled seduction and seemed to whisper: drive me, baby. Gloria looked alive. She was no Porche, but to the six grandchildren of driving age in the Ballinger family, she was the ultimate ride. It took one day for every foot Grandpa lay underground for everyone to start bickering over who was going to get it.

As it turned out, the car legally hadn’t been entrusted to anyone. Grandpa’s will left a lot of money to a lot of people, but there wasn’t any mention about where the convertible would go. And so the vicious battle to lay claim to Gloria began. Grammie Jean suddenly found six, new, very sympathetic helpers around the house. On a slow day, two of her grandchildren would show up at the same time with promises of Pine-Sol and elbow grease and then fight over who could offer the most of their services. The sudden interest in visiting confused her, especially since the children only really stopped over on holidays—but the front yard had never been so trim. She wasn’t complaining.

Five of the grandchildren spent a good two weeks completing chores that Grammie Jean hadn’t been able to get to for years, hoping that she’d find favour with one of them enough to write it over to them on their birthday or something. But the middle grandchild, whose name was Julie, quietly under the radar, had taken a different approach to trying to get the car. On the days that her cousins weren’t sniffing around her grandmother’s back yard, she would go over to visit. At twenty, she had chores of her own to worry about and though she had hoarded more than enough money to purchase her first ride, she preferred to keep that stockpile for other things. Levelheaded, logical and skeptical of anything she couldn’t see, reasonable Julia grew tired of watching her cousins’ repeated attempts at manipulation, and thought of a better plan. On a Wednesday in June, she marched into Grammie Jean’s living room and asked if she could have the Mustang.

“I don’t see why not,” the woman remarked, “Your grandfather hated the damn thing; wouldn’t even get in it some mornings. It’s about time someone gave it a good spin. Take it off my hands.”

That was that. Julie would never forget the look everyone wore when they congregated at Grammie Jean’s house the next Monday ready to begin working for a prize that was no longer available to them. She watched in triumph as their faces lit with shock, and then fell with disappointment, and then after a minute, as they each contemplated how to hide their anger about the defeat, twisted in disgust. The car, in three seconds flat, had gone from a thing to be coveted, to a dirty rag.

“Ew, Julia, Grandpa died in that thing. You’re sitting in his, like, juices.”

“I heard Great Uncle Jim kicked it in the front seat before he did. Sat in it a week before they found him too, I bet.”

“Dude, that car is totally cursed.”

“Julia’s probably going to die now.”

“Still gross, man.”

Julia didn’t have to shrug a single person off that day. She was enjoying her victory too much and each dig at her confidence only boosted it further.

It took about a week for her to discover why Grandpa loathed the car. On a breezy afternoon, Julia packed the Mustang to capacity with squealing girlfriends and took her for a spin. Gloria sailed down backroads, radiating freedom, and everyone drank it in and sang cliché choruses to songs that they didn’t know the names of. By the end of the day, with the sun still high for another few hours, Julia dropped her crew off one by one, and took off on her own to enjoy her new toy.

That evening, everyone seemed to be out tending to their yards. This meant that Gloria had an audience, and Julia loved it. People lifted their heads from their gardens to watch in awe as the red beauty cruised by. One man in particular seemed especially enthralled by the sight. He was in his forties, an infant beer gut just starting to swell from his waistline, slipping into the routine of mundane summer chores: he mowed the lawn on a tractor while his wife, easily ten years his junior, lay out on the grass in her bikini. Julia looked up and smiled; the man waved, and watched her drive past in admiration. She was so pleased with the attention that she continued to watch him, smug through her rearview mirror as the scene melted away.

Just before she lost sight of them, however, she noticed that the man, who couldn’t keep his eyes off of her bumper, had continued driving forward and was growing dangerously close to the woman on the ground. As her car rounded the corner, the front of the mower began chewing the towel, grinding grass, and then fabric, and then, before Julia had time to register what was going on, hair and flesh. The mower had been red, like her car, and, as she thought sickeningly before turning the corner completely, red like the puree now spraying generously out the back of it.

She hit the brakes, slamming her head off of the steering wheel. As she shook the stars from her eyes, she was unsure if the grating screech she heard came from Gloria or out of her own mouth.

That man had just ground up his own wife with the family mower. Right over the back of her head. She’d been listening to music too, Julia bet, and so she probably had no idea what was happening until her brain went to bits like strawberries in a blender. Julia opened the door and dry heaved a few times before her heart fell back from the inside of her throat. She sat up, slowly, sweating, and wondered if turning around was the right thing to do, and then thought about what she’d gain from it: most likely some serious PTSD and enough guilt to last her a lifetime.

You just witnessed murder. She thought, and then quickly corrected herself. Manslaughter. You saw manslaughter. He didn’t mean it.

Because he hadn’t meant it. He’d been wrapped up in her car, and like the pied piper to a rat, the Mustang pulled him right toward calamity. It was technically her fault.

Go back, she thought. Go back there and help. Julia knew there was a rule against driving away from an accident, but that usually only applied to the drivers stuck behind it. What happened to the people in front? Not everyone watched their mirrors every ten seconds. Leaving and forgetting about the whole thing was perfectly logical and, she assumed, even legal. Even if it is my fault. But the justification didn’t hold, and Julia tearfully found herself reaching for the gearshift to turn around. As she backed into a nearby driveway, Julia caught on to something and stopped. The street was quiet, and that didn’t make any sense at all.

Julia expected screaming, and wailing and shouting and sirens, but there was nothing to be heard over the hum of her engine. She waited, listening intently to any sign that her assistance would be needed. Instead of screaming, however, she heard a lawn mower. The tight knot that had formed in her stomach loosened, and then the whole thing turned to jello, threatening to send whatever was left inside it back out into her lap. Was that monster going back for round two? While every fibre of her being pulled her away, Julia took a wavering breath, locked the doors and put the car in drive. If the watery nausea she felt was right, she would be required to report something completely different to the police. She chanted to herself: I will not get out of the car. I will not get out of the car. Julia pulled out onto the road, and the Mustang crawled around the corner.

When she saw that the man was still driving around the lawn, earphones in, bopping his head to music she couldn’t hear, Julia let out a sob. That sick bastard, oh my God, he wasn’t looking at the car, he was watching me and he killed his wife, that sick fuck ohmygodohmygodohmygod—

But there was no blood in the grass. There were no scraps of skin or hair or grey matter dotting the ground. When Julia did gather the courage to look down, she saw that the woman, now slightly burning, had flipped over onto her back and was reading an issue of Cosmo. Julia let the car roll by, her body, now a bundle of live wire, thrummed as her cheeks grew wet.

I must be going insane, she thought. The man waved. A little blond girl that she hadn’t seen before, their daughter, she supposed, smiled at Julia as she jumped rope in the driveway.

That night, she googled symptoms of psychological disorders. Much to her relief, she didn’t qualify for anything out of the ordinary. Instead, she concluded the only logical explanation: she was tired. Her diagnosis was an overactive imagination and with a good night’s sleep, the prognosis was cheerful. When she woke up the next morning with the sun creeping in through her curtains and the lawnmower incident buried deep behind the duties of the day, Julia felt better.

Except that evening, through the rearview, she watched a jogger bring his run to a dead halt on the Town Bridge and swan dive over the side. This time, when she slammed on the brakes and pulled over, Julia got out of the car, phone at the ready like a pistol from her hip. She didn’t need to go very far. Before her foot made full contact with the sidewalk, she bumped into him head-on. Though the running man wasn’t impressed, a very shaken Julia informed him that she was glad he was still alive and he managed a confused smile before carrying on. A little girl eating an ice cream cone looked at her incredulously across the street. On the way home, she kept her eyes on the road ahead, and vowed to stop drinking coffee so late in the day.

A week later, Julia was switching lanes on the highway and caught a glimpse of the driver behind her. He was missing his head; jagged arteries grew from the stump left behind and spurted forth black blood like a clogged fountain. It created an abstract masterpiece on the inside of the windshield. It took everything she had not to pull the car off of the road. Later on, when her heart slowed and her hands grew steady, the same car whipped past, carrying a family of four. They were singing along to something upbeat on the radio, and their heads were very much where they were meant to be. Their daughter, small and blonde, made a face at her through the back window.

As time wore on, Julia became resigned to the fact that she was losing her mind and had begun practicing different ways to break the news to her mother every evening before bed. Nightmares of the grizzly deaths she was witnessing—now at least one every time she got behind the wheel— destroyed any hope of sleep, each scenario more gruesome than the last, played out in perfect clarity in a three by seven inch mirror. And each time she’d turn around, everything would be pristine and pretty again, and she’d wake up sweating and screaming and wishing she hadn’t asked for the damn car in the first place. She had started wondering whether or not the thing was cursed after all.

Eventually, after watching her Uncle Frank’s six-year-old golden retriever get his head squashed by the family Toyota while the line of cars leaving Fourth of July dinner backed out of his driveway, Julie had to admit that she had had enough. In a fury, she marched into her uncle’s garage, found a roll of duct tape and sealed the rearview shut for good. She washed her hands of the matter, and with some difficulty, was able to find her way back to the road using only her side mirrors. Curse or insanity, regardless of the matter, Julia was free.

She drove that way for weeks, and eventually—save for a few angry, blaring horns from the drivers she cut off—grew comfortable driving blind. Soon, the frequent hindsight bloodbaths became nothing more than a faded memory. All was well.

Until one Sunday Julia’s mother enlisted her to take Grammie Jean to church. That morning the two sat in her kitchen, sipping tea and sharing stories when the topic of the car came up.

“So how do you like it?” Grammie Jean asked.

“Oh, you know. It’s nice to have something to drive,” Julie replied, taking in too much tea and then having to swallow the scalding mouthful. She flashed a pained smile. Grammie Jean laughed quietly.

“You know you can tell me that you don’t like it. Luke hated it.”

“So you said,” Julie murmured. “Say—Grammie, did Grandpa ever say why he didn’t like the car?”

Grammie frowned, drumming her fingernails on the tabletop. “You know, it was something about it being bad luck— or some other complete nonsense. Kept seeing bad things in it. He was convinced that it was the Mustang’s fault that anything had happened in the first place. We’d be out driving somewhere and he’d yelp and speed up out of the blue,” she shook her head, “Come to think of it, I never did see any of the stuff he was talking about, and the damn coward never turned around to help if there was someone who needed it. I guess it was good he never did. Had I known his heart was so bad, I’dve never let him in a car in the first place.”

Julie felt a familiar anxious tickle.

“Didn’t Great Uncle Jim have the car before Grandpa did?”

Grammie Jean nodded, clicking her tongue. “Jim was the worst driver I had ever seen. That man managed to cause enough accidents to break a world record…And he never stayed,” her eyes fell.

“Once, when your grandfather and I were younger, Jim cut a couple off on the main road, and they swerved and ran down a little girl. I remember watching it happen out the back window, and screaming at him to stop, but he just kept driving. A few days later, I read in the paper that she had died. I wanted to call the police and tell them; that poor couple was in so much trouble, but Jim made us promise not to tell.” She shrugged. “Maybe that’s why I don’t care too much for skipping Sundays.”

“Wait, he did that in the Mustang?” Julia was feeling very peculiar indeed.

“Oh no,” Grammie Jean said, “this was long before Gloria’s days, my dear. But I think he had even more problems with that car that he did with any other. Toward the end, I think some of the reckless decisions of his younger days had caught up with him. He didn’t really care for driving much by that point, either. We’d all go out, and he’d spend the entire ride monitoring his rearview like he expected to relive some of his mistakes. The guilt got to him, I think.”

Julie had an inkling that guilt didn’t have much to do with it.

“But God, that little girl. Blonde pigtails, and a smile that’d win anyone over. I couldn’t get the image of her obit picture out of my head for years.”

Oh yes, Julia was feeling, very, very funny. Because the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she wouldn’t be able to forget that little girl’s face either. She had seen her almost daily in various ways that summer. Sometimes with a skipping rope, sometimes with a ballcap and jean shorts, always with blonde, shiny pigtails.

“Grammie Jean, How did Uncle Jim die?”

“Heart attack. Right behind the wheel, like your grandfather. Fitting, too. They were both so close.”

Julie felt the blood drain from her face.

“No need to look so nervous, dear,” said Grammie Jean as she collected the teacups, “the family had a history of heart disease. It was bound to happen sooner or later.” Grammie Jean stroked her face with an affectionate thumb, “You’re nice and strong and beautiful. You’ll be quite all right.”

Now more than ever, Julie found that she was reluctant to get into the driver’s seat. Don’t be silly, she thought, shaking her head as she helped her grandmother into the front. Your car isn’t haunted; it’s not demon possessed. Julie ran through every logical explanation that disproved ghosts and other supernatural things in succession as she gathered the courage to sit down and buckle her seatbelt. Even though she was able to reassure herself a bit, Julie eyed the covered mirror with apprehension. If you’re so sure, she whispered in her heart of hearts, then why don’t you take the tape off? Shuddering, she started the car, thankful to have that firmly in place, thankyouverymuch.

A cry from the right made her jump. Her first thought was that Grammie Jean had seen something too. The woman was staring in horror at the rearview, and for a split second, Julie felt relief. She was not alone. She was not insane. But in the same instant, Julie remembered that Grammie probably couldn’t see anything at all. And that was probably why she looked so mad.

“Are you insane?” she cried, waving wildly at the tape.

Yes, Julie thought. “Are you trying to get us killed?”

“Grammie, I—”

“I don’t care what sort of trend that fits. I will not risk my life in the name of fashion. You take that tape off right now.”

“Grammie—”

“Now, Julia!”

So Julie had to pull over and remove her saving grace. She was careful not to look as she scraped away the remaining bits of tape, and forced herself to only use the side mirrors when she pulled out into traffic. Aside from the furious lecture she received from her grandmother, the trip to church was rather uneventful. Julie managed to drop Grammie Jean, still grumbling, at the front and went to wait for her in the parking lot, incident free.

Alone in the car now, with nothing to protect her, Julie was terribly anxious. She had brought a book with her to stay occupied like she always did with long waits, but with the glaring portrait of hell above her head, it was hard to focus on her story. She knew that if she were to glance back, she’d get a shot of something gruesome. And now that she was aware at some level that there was something horribly wrong with the car, Julie had a feeling it would be the worst scene yet.

Of course, that meant that Julie believed in ghosts and other stupid things, and as any rational human being—as Julie proudly labeled herself—knew, it was silly to entertain the conjurings of the imagination.

That didn’t change the fact that she couldn’t shake the thought of the two men who had died where she was sitting. Before today, she hadn’t heard tell of a history of any ailment in her family. And both men seemed to have trouble using their mirrors. It was enough to leave a sour taste in her mouth.

There was also the sudden, stinging, sure as shit feeling that someone was watching her from the back seat.

Julie suddenly wondered if a short burst of intense fear was enough to send someone into cardiac arrest.

She could resist the mirror no longer. It was either time to dismiss her imagination or confront whatever was blocking her vision. Slowly, heart pounding, she lifted her eyes from her book to the rearview, praying—for the first time in a long time— that there would be nothing there.

But Julie was met by the cold, milky white source of the gaze that bored its way into her spine. The little girl was older than Julie thought she would be, but then again, it was hard to tell. She was sitting in the middle of the back seat; half of her face had been mashed in and torn away. Julie had never seen a car accident victim, but this one looked like someone had taken an eggbeater, stuck it into her ear and let it fly. Brain, blood, and clear fluid leaked through the grated, bony mess, and when she smiled—because that’s what they always did in the movies, wasn’t it? —six of her teeth fell out onto the collar of her shirt.

Julie’s friend was not alone. The girl lifted two mangled arms and draped them over the shoulders of the moaning corpses in the seats beside her.

Bloated and purple, as though they had been laid out on hot asphalt to rot, Grandpa and Uncle Jim grimaced up at her, two sets of gnarled hands clutching at their chests, where the buttons of their shirts burst from the pressure, their faces twisted and frozen in their final expressions. Grandpa looked horrified. Uncle Jim looked guilty.

There’s no room for me back there, Julie thought.

And then she screamed.

They heard it in the church. Halfway through the offertory hymn, the congregation fled the sanctuary to find Jeanie Ballinger’s granddaughter slumped over the steering wheel in her husband’s mustang. When they managed to pry her knuckles, white and hardened from the dash and get a good look at her, it was evident that there was nothing they could do.

The whole town agreed that it was a right shame Julia Ballinger went the way she did. Twenty years old, and her heart wasn’t strong enough to take the summer heat. There was talk about a cardiovascular health course at the community centre. There was talk about a memorial.

But there was even more talk about the look on Julie’s face when they found her. Some blamed it on panic. Some kids, trying to scare younger siblings told stories of monsters and killers in the parking lot. Most people left it to awkward, premature rigor mortis and left it alone.

Regardless of how anyone explained it, the look etched into Julie’s face was unforgettable. Frozen forever in a soundless cry, dull eyes stuck heavenward, the horrified grin she wore was so unsettling, the family opted for cremation.

The Mustang returned to its usual spot in the late Luke Ballinger’s garage. When the shock of losing Julie died down, the grandkids began to fight over it again.

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