#(like how she was '''just trying to help''' when she nearly drowned both of the aforementioned lilies)

[miodiodavinci]

you ever end up typing a rant in the tags so long tumblr physically cuts you off and the post publishes with probably only 1/3rd of the tags

[bangtan-junkie]

Dissonance (Part 1) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (f)

Part 1, Part 2

Genre/Tags: coworker!JK, enemies to lovers, smutttttt, slow burn (ish?), ANGST

Word Count: 5744 words

Synopsis:

Your coworker, Jungkook, got on your nerves. While everyone saw him as sweet and charming, you saw his true (annoying) colours that lay beneath. It was no secret that you hated him. No one knew that more than him. But a night out, drinks in your system, and a girl flirting with Jungkook in front of you might bring up some uglier feelings and be Jungkook's last straw.

Note:

lol sorry I'm not great with synopses. but yeah this is rly just angst and filth enjoyyy. part 2 soon hopefully. also would love requests or feedback so lmk

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as Jungkook spoke. Jungkook was a newer employee and the whole office knew you didn't like him one bit. He was a kiss-ass and there was nothing you hated more than a kiss-ass. Not only was he a kiss-ass, he was also annoyingly good looking which only made people like him more. While you were busy busting your ass for work and cleaning up after other peoples' mess, he was able to get anyone to do whatever he wanted with a flash of his smile. To top it all off, nearly every woman in your office threw themselves at him - even the senior ladies. You couldn't stand it. Watching them twirling their hair, putting a hand on his chest as they laughed at his every word, it made you sick. What was worse was watching him flirt back - seeing him check them out, grab them by the waist, or whisper in their ears. Everything about him made your blood boil and you refused to give him an easy time like everyone else.

Jungkook was fully aware of your disdain for him. He didn’t miss how your eyes rolled when he walked into the room, or how you avoided him like he was the plague. He paid no attention to it at first, trying his best to charm you as he did with your peers. But every smile, joke, or conversation was shut down. He thought it wouldn’t bother him, but with each passing day, every scowl, every eye roll, and every glare, he felt his irritation growing. But he refused to give you the satisfaction of knowing that he cared about your opinion. Instead, he tried his best to show you that you had no affect on him at all. With every insult you threw at him, he turned it around and threw a cheeky, flirty comment back at you. He only did it because he knew it would piss you off even more. As amusing as it was, his frustration was building up as you pushed his buttons.

Unfortunately for the both of you, you shared a social circle at work because you were in the same department. As if you didn't get enough of each other at work, you were occasionally forced into seeing each other outside of work when your coworkers decided to go out. Tonight was one of those cursed nights as your group agreed to go out for drinks after work. So you sat at the end of the booth, downing your drinks faster than you probably should, watching one of the girls attempt to seduce Jungkook in the booth. You tried to focus on the conversation happening on the other side of you but found your mind wandering back to the two of them. She was practically in his lap by this point and had unbuttoned a few buttons of her top. Jungkook's arm was snaked around her waist while his other hand lingered along the hem of her skirt. You downed your next drink, trying to drown the burning sensation you felt in your chest. It was certainly drowning your common sense in the process, your head already beginning to feel fuzzy. The girl was asking stupid questions and resorting to plain flattery in an attempt to flirt. Your already bad mood from work combined with the drinks you were powering through was quickly worsening your mood and making you more bold.

"You're so sweet," she giggled, "No wonder everyone likes you over in your department."

"Not everyone," you mumbled under your breath with a roll of your eyes. Jungkook rolled his own eyes and ignored you but the girl looked over at you confused.

"Sorry?" She asked.

"Don't be. I was just agreeing with you. Jungkook is soooooooo sweet," you mocked, looking directly at him. She gave you a strange look and turned back to him.

"Looks like you're famous with all the ladies," she smiled, playing with his tie.

"Oh you have no idea," you laughed to yourself. Jungkook closed his eyes in an attempt to calm himself down and avoid reacting. "His reputation exceeds him," you giggle. This time she gave you a dirty look and ignored you.

"Too bad you're not in our department. You'd be a sight for sore eyes," she raked her eyes over him and winked.

"That's about all he's useful for, you should take him really," you grumbled. That was Jungkook's last straw. He finally turned to you, acknowledging your existence.

"Are you serious right now?" He glared. Your stomach flipped as you finally got a good look at him - tie loosened, sleeves rolled up, and fury swimming in his eyes. Yeah, the alcohol is definitely getting to me - you thought to yourself. You just shrugged in response.

“Get up. Now,” Jungkook demanded, voice low. You rolled your eyes but complied and slid off your chair as Jungkook slid out of the booth. As soon as you were up, you were being dragged away with a tight grip on your wrist, . He took you to the far corner of the bar, out of sight from the booth everyone was at. You rubbed your wrist in pain when let go of you.

“What are you doing?” He asked. You noticed the tick in his jaw as he clenched it. It made his jawline look even sharper. Dragging your gaze away from his jaw back to his eyes, you gave him a questioning look. “Don’t play fucking dumb right now,” he belittled. Your stomach dropped at the insult.

“I know you’re celibate, but I’m trying to take this girl home and fuck her brains out,” he sneered.

You gulped. Something about this Jungkook was doing something to you. He never got angry with you. He always had a witty remark for every insult you threw his way. Seeing him like this was different; it was more real than his cocky facade. His brows were furrowed and he was glaring at you like he wanted to grab you by the neck. Fuck he looks so hot. Normally you would never let yourself think that, but the alcohol swirling in you was clouding your judgment. Fortunately, you were still sober enough to hide your lustful gaze.

“I’m trying to save the girl from a night of disappointment and misery,” you snickered. Your answer only seemed to anger him more. He stepped forward and you took a step back. His annoyance was written all over his face. A few more steps and he’d backed you against a wall and caged you in with a hand placed next to your face. You had never been so close to Jungkook before. Was he always this handsome? You could only stare up at him and hope he didn’t notice how turned on you were.

“We both know you don’t believe that,” he said, leaning down, his face way too close to yours. “You think I’m such a man whore right? Surely you don’t think I have these women coming back just for my pretty face?” He mocked you. You felt your face flush. “Then what is it? Why are you cockblocking me?”

You weren’t completely sure why you were acting the way you were. Watching that girl press up so close to him, whisper in his ear, laugh at his every work - it made you sick. Yet you couldn’t look away, you watched as he flirted so shamelessly and your stomach swirled with disgust.

“She’s fucking stupid. She fell for you. Really I’m doing her a favour.”

“Why do you care Y/n? Just because you don’t want me, doesn’t mean other people don’t.”

“Because they look so dumb fawning over you,” your gaze was hazy, “all they see is how ha-,” your eyes trailed down to his pretty lips, having the little sense to cut yourself off before saying what you were going to say. “They’re always the same; flipping their hair, laughing at your dumb jokes, climbing into your lap. And you eat it up every time.”

Jungkook’s brows furrowed for a moment before he scoffed.

“What, are you jealous sweetheart?” He joked dryly. “Wish it was you instead?” He asked, trying to annoy you and fully expecting you to get angry. Turns out, it worked. Something fiery and ugly crawled through your veins as the words left his mouth, making you feel hot. You couldn’t face what the feeling was - just knowing Jungkook was making you feel something so dark was enough to stop your train of thought. You refused to become one of those girls...you couldn't.

“You know what? Never mind, you guys are perfect for each other,” you mumbled while quickly slipping under his arms. The possibility of you being jealous was sobering. It cleared your mind enough to know you should get back to the table. Enough to see how dangerously close to disaster you were. But just as you made it a foot past him, he pulled you back, pressing your back against the wall. His gaze was different now - dark and piercing. It held you captive, like a deer caught in headlights. You couldn’t look away and neither could you pull out of the tight grip he had on your arm.

“What, that’s it? Not even gonna give me shit for that?” He questioned. The words were meant to be teasing but instead they sounded angry, nearly spiteful. His mind was racing as he put the whole picture together but refused to believe it. Embarrassment replaced the ugly feeling clawing up your throat, making your body burn up. His gaze became too intense and you had to look away. But he was not going to make this easy for you. He grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at him as he patiently waited for you to say something, to deny what he was thinking. This was a whole new side of him that you were seeing for the first time. What was worse was that some part of you liked it. Your embarrassment reached a new height as the tension grew thicker between you. You wanted to scream, to run, to get as far away from Jungkook as you could - anything but admit this new found truth. Tears threatened to wallow in your eyes as the unease began eating you alive. But you forced them back, refusing to embarrass yourself any further. After several moments of silence from you, Jungkook let go of your jaw and scoffed in disbelief.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” he uttered, bewildered, before hanging his head. The short moment gave you reprieve, a second to breathe again now that he wasn’t looking into your soul. Your mouth opened to say something, anything to redeem yourself, but shut when you couldn’t think of anything. Then Jungkook was chuckling, which turned into a laugh that made his shoulders shake. It wasn’t a joyous laughter. No, it was mocking, cruel.

“This whole time,” he started, his laughter dying down as he looked at you again, “I thought there was an actual reason you hated me.” He straightened his back, now towering above you, and moved closer. He was looking at you like he was going to eat you alive. You quickly avoided his gaze, choosing to stare straight ahead at his chest instead. One of his hands came up to tangle in your hair before he yanked it, forcing you to look at him again. You couldn’t help the moan that left your lips as he pulled your hair. It only fueled that hunger in his eyes.

“All this time, you just needed to be stuffed full of cock huh? Needed me to fuck the attitude out of you?”

The words immediately sent a rush of arousal to your core, leaving you breathless. If it wasn't for the little bit of pride left in you, you would've jumped him. Jungkook watched as your eyes filled with lust and anger as you steeled your resolve. He quickly glanced around to see if any of your coworkers were nearby before grabbing your wrist and dragging you into the washroom. All you heard was the door locking before you were pinned to the wall.

“Come on Y/n, I wanna hear you say it. Tell me you're jealous. Tell me you want to be in my bed instead of her,” he growled, getting more bold by the second. You gulped, struggling to contain your reactions.

"Shut up," you spat out, finally finding your voice. "Go fuck her for all I care." You gave him the best glare you could muster up. Jungkook's eyes lit up with the challenge you presented, but the dark glint in them made you nervous. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head with one hand.

"If you're gonna lie, at least do it well," he taunted, his breath hitting your lips.

"I don't care what you do Jungkook. Just let me go" you whined, straining your wrists in his grip. He only tightened his hold on you, hiking your wrists further up the wall and forcing you on your tippy toes. His sheer strength was slightly jarring as you were left helpless in his grip.

"Yeah?," he scoffed, "then maybe I should go back out there and pick up where I left off." You felt your stomach drop at his suggestion. Some part of you deep down wanted more. But an even bigger part of you couldn't stand the thought of enduring more of him flirting with that girl.

"She's a bold one, you know? She kept pushing my hand up her thigh, closer to where she really wanted it," he teased, voice low.

His hand trailed along your waist, over your hips, then down your thigh. Your breath hitched at the gentle touch. His fingers brushed along the hem of your skirt, which suddenly felt too short. You couldn't seem to peel your eyes away from his tattooed fingers that threatened to slip under your skirt. Your heart pounded in your chest as thoughts of what else his hands could do flashed through your mind. Taking advantage of your silence, he continued.

"She's filthy, she would've let me touch her pussy right there at the table," he groaned. "Could've had her riding my fingers in front of everyone, trying her best to stay quiet." You shot him a glare, finding the thought repulsive - unless it was you he was touching of course. "Would you rather I leave you here and go do that?"

"Fuck you," you answered with a little too much anger and disgust. It was obvious that you cared, and you hated that. Jungkook raised a brow, a satisfied smirk dawning his lips.

"I'll take that as a no," he mused, fingertips dipping under your skirt, ghosting over the inside of your thigh. You let out a shaky breath.

"I didn't...I mean...," you stumbled over your words, trying to find an excuse. You didn't want him to have the upper hand. It hurt your ego.

"Come on, use your words Y/n. Tell me why you don't want me to go," he patronized, waiting to hear your answer. His fingers continued to trail upwards, making you fluster more. You ignored his request, hyperaware of his touch. If he moved his fingers any further up, he'd be able to feel your arousal and the thought was mortifying. He'd never let you live it down.

"Jungkook," you gasped, getting higher on your tippy toes in an attempt to get his fingers a little further away.

"Yes?" He answered, intrigued by the sudden flustered expression on your face.

"Don't...your fingers," you managed to say, squirming under him.

"What about them?" He asked, stilling their movement but dug them into the flesh of your inner thigh. You closed your eyes and muttered a prayer under your breath.

"This isn't appropriate.." you said shakily, staring at the his hand disappeared under your skirt. He scoffed at your words.

"Not appropriate?" he chuckled. "You know what else is inappropriate? The constant belittling and insults you throw my way." The amusement dissipated from his voice. "The way you humiliate me in front of everyone is inappropriate Y/n," his words pierced you. The internal battle between guilt and arousal you were feeling left your head fuzzy.

"Listen, I'm sorr-" you started, genuinely wanting to apologize, seeing how upset he was. But he cut you off, not wanting to hear your apology.

"And what's especially inappropriate is the way you're looking at me right now," he growled. A rush of arousal flowed through you as he called you out. "It's inappropriate how your eyes are begging me to touch you."

The breath was knocked out of you as he pointed out everything that you thought he hadn't noticed. "I bet if I touched you right now, you'd be fucking soaked," he said, voice low.

"Jungkook please," you said breathlessly, begging him to stop speaking as your legs threatened to give out under you.

"Please what?" he asked, forcing you to spell it out for him.

"Please...I can't.." you whimpered. The sound made him groan.

"You can't?" he questioned, "Can't take it anymore?" Your eyes threatened to tear up again. "Want me to stop? Or do you want me to touch you?"

You took a second to think about it, calming your overwhelmed nerves. Were you actually going to give in to your desires? Was it worth the never ending humiliation and mockery you'd face after? You took one look at his hungry eyes and decided - fuck it.

"Touch me," you finally said, heart racing. His eyes darkened and he wasted no time in obliging. He quickly hiked your skirt up to your hips, his fingers slipping between your clothed folds. All thoughts escaped your mind as Jungkook finally touched you where you wanted.

"Fuck, you really are soaked - for me," he growled. You had half the mind to remind him that he was also clearly enjoying himself. But your eyes fluttered shut and the words transformed into a moan as his fingers rubbed over your clit again. Pleasure coursed through your body, the tension between you two only adding to the fire between your legs. "I turn you on that much?"

You could only huff in response, too focused on the pleasure. His fingers slid down, rubbing through your wetness. Then he stopped. You groaned at the loss, opening your eyes to shoot him a glare. You were met with Jungkook's dark, lustful gaze. His eyes scanned your features hungrily, catching on your lips before stopping at your eyes. The look on your face was one he was used to. The look of anger, frustration, borderline hate. Usually he despised it, but in that moment he savoured it. This time, it was mixed with desperation - desire. It made him proud that he was able to push you to this point.

"Are you kidding me?" you asked, clearly annoyed.

"So cute how you think you'll get your way every time," he mumbled, a devilish smirk resting on his lips. "You know what one of the first things I noticed about you was? How you weren't afraid to speak your mind." It felt strange to hear Jungkook complimenting you like this, but you still felt like this was a trap. "Obviously, back then I didn't know that I'd grow to hate it," he chuckled. You rolled your eyes.

"But I want you to speak your mind now. You've always said every terrible thing you thought about me. So tell me what you're thinking about me now Y/n," he said, eyes staring into your soul like he knew every filthy thought that was running through your mind. He moved closer, his lips grazing against your ear as he whispered, "Still thinking of how much you hate me?"

"No," you answered, wanting him to get on with it.

"What are you thinking then?" Every inch of you screamed at you not to answer. But you knew there was only one way out of this. Jungkook wanted the truth, he wanted to hear you say it.

"I'm thinking about your hands, your fingers," you said softly, grateful that he had his face buried in your neck so that you didn't have to look him in the eye.

"What about 'em?" His breathing was ragged against your skin, like he couldn't wait to finally hear the words.

"Thinking about how good they look on my legs," you admitted, heart racing. Jungkook didn't answer, only taking a sharp breath in. A few more seconds of silence and you gulped, deciding to take the leap.

"Thinking about how big your hands are. And how good your fingers would feel inside of me," you said, gasping as his fingers resumed their ministrations. Jungkook pulled his head back, finally looking at you again, a dark lust painted across his features.

"Thinking about cumming on your fingers and your cock," you said, your eyes fluttering shut as pleasure worked its way through your body again. "Thinking about how much I hate that you're making me feel this way."

Jungkook cursed under his breath, making you open your eyes.

"Why?" The question was simple, but it felt heavy. His eyes bore into your; anger, lust, and focus swirling around in them.

"I don't wanna be one of those girls," you answered, voice barely above a whisper. A cold look washed over his face for a brief moment.

"How does it feel then? You're here, soaked and begging me to touch you. About to cum on my fingers. I'm the one making you feel this good," he growled, fingers picking up their pace. "Are you angry? Disgusted?"

His fingers had you hurtling towards the edge, leaving your mind hazy. You barely processed his question as the pressure built up in your core again. All you could do was moan his name as you quickly reached your climax. But then his fingers were gone, leaving you crashing. There was a moment of silence as disbelief and anger coursed through you. When you looked back at him, his expression seemed colder.

“What the fuck Jungkook?!” you nearly shouted when you finally came back to your senses. “I was so close!” you grit through your teeth.

“Oh were you?” Jungkook mocked, observing your angered reaction.

“I should’ve known. Of course you’re a selfish douchebag in bed too,” you spat. A smirk formed on his lips as he raised a brow at your words.

“It’s bewildering that those girls come back when you can’t even get them off once. I guess it is just for your pretty face,” you sneered, wanting him to him to be equally as pissed of as you. He let go of your wrists and buried a hand in your hair before yanking it back. You yelped at the harsh tug that forced your head back, exposing your neck to him.

“God you really just keep running your mouth, don’t ya?” He growled. “A few more seconds and we both know you would’ve creamed your panties.” You gulped at his words, unable to deny them.

“But only good girls get to cum,” he whispered, his hot breath on your ear sending shivers down your spine. He let go of your hair, putting a little space between you two. “You think you deserve to cum?” He asked.

“After months of being an asshole to me, never listening to anything I said, treating me like an idiot? All because you wanted my cock stuffed in your tight pussy.” The anger swirling in his eyes only turned you on more.

“Did you really think I’d give you what you wanted so easily Y/n?” he mocked. “After all that, did you think I’d let you have your way? Maybe finally fuck you how you’ve wanted? Have you screaming my name, squirting all over my cock, over and over again?” While his words added to the arousal between your legs, his tone left you humiliated. You could feel your face getting hotter.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to mutter while staring at the floor. Jungkook chuckled darkly before grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look at him.

“Oh baby, no. Sorry won’t cut it. If you want me to fuck you, you’re gonna have to earn it,” he growled, staring right into your eyes.

Then he let go of your jaw. He was angry with you, so angry. But watching you beg, cry his name, submit to him made his cock impossibly hard. As he fumbled with his belt and pants, you understood what he wanted. Without a second thought, you dropped to your knees before him. Jungkook cursed under his breath at the way you looked up at him. You reached forward to help him as he shakily unzipped his pants, but he merely brushed your hands away. You waited patiently, your heart racing in anticipation of finally seeing his cock. Relief spread across his face when he finally pulled his aching cock out of its confines. You licked your lips at the sight. Jungkook’s hand squeezed at the base as he slapped your cheek with his cock.

“Open,” he demanded. You obeyed, opening your mouth and letting your tongue out. Jungkook slapped his heavy cock on your tongue, groaning as you looked up at him. His cock twitched against your tongue as he admired the lewd image in front of him. You swirled your tongue around the tip before closing your lips around it. Jungkook grunted, still looking at you with dark eyes. But he refused to move, leaving you to do all the work for now. So, you slowly sunk your mouth down on his cock, brushing his hands away from the base. When you’d finally sunk all the way down, your nose brushing against his pelvis, Jungkook’s head rolled back and he let out a heavy sigh that sounded suspiciously like a whimper. Seeing him crumble under your touch boosted your pride and ego. Feeling like you finally had some power in this situation, you decided to go further, just to pull more of those cute whimpers out of him. You pulled back before sinking down on him again, letting his cock hit the back of your throat.

“Oh fuck, he moaned, his hands flying to the back of your head to grab your hair. You repeated the action two more times, pulling a string of curses and moans from his lips that hit your ears like music. Just as you were pulling your head back for another time, Jungkook’s hands pushed your head forward, thrusting his own hips so his cock was buried deep in your throat. The action caught you off guard, your hands coming up to hold his thighs, attempting to stabilize yourself. Your throat burned at the abrupt intrusion and you felt tears beginning to well in your eyes as he held you there. But the look of pleasure etched on his face and the pretty moans leaving his lips were incentive enough for you to stay there. You tried your best to focus on breathing through your nose as he buried his cock as deep as he could.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he cursed, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure. “Who knew your mouth felt this fucking good?” He asked rhetorically, his voice low and hoarse, finally opening his eyes. Seeing you looking up at him with his cock stuffed down your throat, tears streaming down your face, and trying your best to nod to his question proved to be overwhelming for Jungkook. He felt like he could cum right there and then. With a growl, he yanked you off his cock, finally giving you a chance to breathe. You coughed as you tried to catch your breath, trying to wipe away your tears and the saliva dripping down your chin. He had to look away from you for a moment or he thought he’d go crazy. So he slowly stroked his cock, letting his head roll back, as you caught your breath.

You breathed heavily, unable to do anything but look up at him in a haze. As soon as you caught your breath, you wrapped your lips around his cock again. Jungkook looked at you through hooded eyes as you eagerly sank down on his cock again. He didn’t even give you a second to readjust, a hand fisting your hair as his hips snapped forward. He set a rough pace, leaving your throat feeling raw already. You could feel his anger and frustration with every thrust.

“Fuck, I should’ve just done this,” he growled. “Every time you ran your mouth, should’ve just stuffed it with cock. Bet you would’ve loved that,” he grunted, quickly getting close to the edge. You whimpered softly around him, unsure if you were agreeing or not. “Such a fucking slut,” he groaned, punctuating the words with harsh thrusts. His movements were getting rougher and sloppier as he hurtled closer to the edge. You held onto his thighs for support, letting him use your mouth.

“Fuck I’m getting close,” he groaned. He cursed under his breath seeing the anticipation in your eyes. He quickly yanked your head back and stroked his cock quickly. “Fucking hell, you know how bad I wanna cum all over your face? Let everyone at the table see what a fucking cockslut you are for me?” He groaned, his hand moving quickly. You stared up at him, burning the sight into your mind.

“Don’t care, just want your cum,” you gasped, still catching your breath. That was all Jungkook needed to hear to completely lose himself.

He quickly buried his cock in your mouth again as he came. Curses and moans spilled from his lips, his hot cum shooting down your throat. You could see his adam’s apple move with every groan and it was driving you crazy. There was no doubt that you were soaking wet and you ached to be filled up. Your tongue soothed his cock, coaxing him to give you more. Even after he finished, he kept himself buried in your mouth, savouring the feeling. After a few moments, he finally pulled away. His gaze was piercing as he tucked himself back into his pants, straightening himself up. You finally stood up again, brushing at your aching knees. Your heart was pounding in your ears at the anticipation of what was going to come. After all, you’d definitely been good to him. Jungkook looked at your sloppy appearance and smiled sadistically.

“Who knew you were such a filthy slut?” He taunted, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear. “Sucking dick in a public bathroom so desperately,” he mocked. His tone made your stomach drop. Your heart continued racing with excitement and unease. He leaned in closer. “Should be enough dick to get you through the next week without being a bitch to me, right?”

You couldn’t hide the wince at his words. The spite in his voice stung. Sure he was degrading you before, but this time he sounded like he meant it. He stepped back from you, looking over you without a hint of warmth. “Might wanna clean up before you come back out,” he said nonchalantly, unlocking the bathroom door. “Wouldn’t want everyone to know that you had my cock down your throat,” he said coldly. Then he was out the door, leaving you a mess, alone in the bathroom. You couldn’t move for a few moments, still trying to process what had just happened. You’d never seen him that angry and bitter before. You couldn’t believe that he’d just left you to clean yourself up after all that. The only thing that snapped you out of your thoughts was the thought of someone walking in on you like this. You finally moved to lock the door again.

“What the fuck,” you sighed, looking at yourself in the mirror. You shot yourself a dirty look, seeing the state you were in. You felt humiliated. As you fixed yourself up, you mentally cursed yourself for letting your guard down around Jungkook. You should’ve known that he would act like a dick. Underneath that charming exterior, he was downright awful. Of course he would insult and humiliate you after getting what he wanted. You could feel the anger bubble up in your chest, threatening to make you march back to the table and yell at him in front of everyone. But you knew you couldn’t. You’d be exposing yourself in that process and the last thing you wanted people to know was that you gave in to Jungkook. You couldn’t be seen as one of those stupid girls that were chasing him all the time. You weren’t one of them. Taking a deep breath to calm down, you took one last look in the mirror. After making sure you looked decent again, you finally stepped out of the bathroom.

As you walked back to the table, an obnoxious, high pitched laugh made your stomach churn with dread. Jungkook sat there, his arm draped over the booth behind the same girl from before, smirking as he spoke to her. She was leaning in so close that any movement would have their lips touching. You felt sick when he whispered in her ear, chuckling at whatever she responded with. You could’ve thrown up right there and then, your blood running cold. There was no way in hell you were gonna sit there and watch him act like this after everything that happened. As soon as you got to the table, you grabbed your bag and jacket, refusing to look at the two of them.

“Hey, Y/n are you leaving?” someone asked. You couldn’t even tell who was talking, too busy trying to escape this hell. “Yeah, feeling kinda sick,” you mumbled, already turning on your heels. You heard some ‘goodbye’s and ‘feel better’s from behind you but you just hastily waved without turning around. When you finally got into the cold night, the air felt like a slap to your face. It smacked some sense back into you. Your mind reeled with the events of the night and you wondered what you could’ve possibly been thinking. You just started speed walking, nearly sprinting, towards the subway, desperate to get home and wash the filth and disgust that caked your skin and clawed at your insides.

[kawaiijohn]

Help a queer family of disabled nerds

Hey my name is Dante, I live in the Midwest with three of my best friends. We have four cats, one of which is my babyman whom I love very dearly.

His name is Latke Library Card Mango (LLCM). He's very orange and he's the light of my boyfriend, Kris, and I's life.

Cat pics are great right? Have a few.

A few months ago, latkes chronic bladder stones condition acted up which resulted in two emergency vet visits and a week long stay with his actual vet to get the stone removed.

It was the size of a chickpea.

Here's a photo of his post surgery when he had a nakie tummy. He was very very happy to see us.

He's since recovered, but the cost of this put us back around 1300 dollars in total. He's now on a special diet with rather pricey food to prevent this from happening but it might still act up eventually.

We've paid down some of his debt, but the interest is making it become more and more as we try to pay it down.

On top of this, our pipes backed up into our basement and refused to work suddenly a few weeks ago. We live in a house that is over a century old, and the clay pipes keep getting roots growing into them that causes them to not drain.

The roto had to come out and high pressure the roots out to clear them (which required expensive equipment), This put us back another grand.

To add to everything, our 700+ auto insurance bill is due in November, which is the worst time for this bill to need due, but both myself and Kris drive over ten miles to work during different shifts on opposite ends of town- neither of our jobs have public transit anywhere near them.

We are currently barely making ends meet-

I am a lunch lady at a public high school. I love my job. I feed kids who possibly don't even eat at home some days. I do work I am proud of.

However, I can only work around 25 hours a week without risking losing my insurance as a disabled person. My job does not have longer hour positions available, and I am too disabled to work more than this without ruining my body like I have done in the past.

I have been going without buying groceries out of fear that what little money I have in my account will be needed in an emergency. I will be out of work for a week this month, around Thanksgiving, and during Xmas break- unpaid due to me working in a school. Me being out also means no guaranteed meal every day.

Kris works in a factory. He is currently working 55+ hours a week to make what we can to pay off the bills and keep our house. He only has one and a half knees that hurt all the damn time and is barely eating either just to afford everything. His factory keeps calling for sudden shutdown weeks with little notice at the worst times, and he's the main breadwinner in the house for us.

The other two in our household, one is severely disabled and can barely work 10 hr/week (he is waiting on hearing back to receive SSI) on top of having multiple medical appointments a week to figure out what is wrong with his body and why it keeps failing. The other is a freelance artist who is working her butt off to make money while carting the previous to appointments nearly every day. She is full up on commissions at the moment, but when she opens them I'll reblog her posts.

I really didn't want to make this post. I hate asking for help. But we are drowning and there's no sign of land. None of us can afford to live on our own, nor can we move back in with our parents for various reasons.

All I'm asking for is some help. I don't care how much. Five dollars is five dollars. Five dollars is half an hour less we have to kill ourselves to make ends meet.

Even if we don't make the full amount, every dollar will help us get a bit closer to paying this stuff down so we can afford gas and regular grocery trips again instead of having to save up to go once a month like we are currently doing.

Our goal is 2000 dollars.

Yes, this is the high amount. I do not believe we will ever reach it. I can hope we can raise this much at some point.

But for now that's the dream number.

It's the number that is looming over our heads, telling us to pay up or lose our home.

It's not something we need this very moment, but just what we need in the next few months to be able to afford living without destroying our body or working three jobs/ridiculous hours.

We thank anyone who can spare a few bucks to help us, and if you can't afford it just pass this post along to someone who might be able to.

Please send as friend/family if you can, PayPal is threatening to withhold money sent as transactions now if you receive over a certain amount.

This includes sending things through my ko-fi account- so here's the preferred methods:

Progress:

388.74/2,000

Thank you for reading. I love you.

[sunshineandspencer]

A kind of look

A/N: Trying to act normal while my brain is in the realm of Spencer-Ville is impossible. The spirits possessed me, have a oneshot. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Summary: Apparently Spencer has been looking at her a little different recently. 

Word Count: 898

Warnings: nothing really just fluff

“He’s looking at you.”

“What, Spence? Yeah, I know.”

“No. I mean he’s looking at you.”

They’d been saying this recently, Emily and Morgan. Making little comments that didn’t quite make sense, and trying to convince her of something that obviously isn’t real. 

Somehow, drunkenly, she’d told Penelope about her crush on Spencer. Which resulted in her telling Derek, and him telling Emily, until it became one big family affair to try and get them together. 

Even Kevin, who she barely even knew in the first place, made a passing comment about how cute they are together. 

It’s aggravating, she wants to throttle them, but obviously that’s not allowed. 

Most recently, Emily has been trying to convince her that Spencer looks at her differently. Which sounds completely insane. 

Spencer Reid looks at her the same way he always has, politely and just a little to the right of her eyes. It’s adorable and endearing, making her want to smother him with affection until he drowns in it. But unfortunately he just doesn’t feel the same. 

No matter what Emily tries to tell her. 

Granted, she has felt his eyes on her for quite a while now, but that’s pretty normal. 

He zones out staring at people sometimes, has freaked out a lot of LEOs that way. So she doesn’t take it personal when he zones out in her direction, getting lost in his own beautifully massive brain. 

It’s completely normal, and when she turns around to indulge Emily’s insanity, she’ll see it. 

When their eyes met, she was immediately made aware of the fact that it was, in fact, very different. To the point where she’s pretty sure she’s forgotten how to breathe. 

His eyes almost seemed to be blurred at the edges, gazing at her so gently that she felt like she would break if he looked away from her.

So this is what they meant, Christ, it’s suffocating. But in a way that makes her want to go and ask him to help her breathe. 

And when Spencer finally realises that he’s staring into her eyes rather than admiring her from afar, he stiffens. Eyes darting away to focus across at his computer monitor, scrambling for something to hold onto and sending his pencil hold flying. 

Only drawing more attention to himself as he dove to the floor, searching for pencils and a way out. 

Just as he thought the worst was over, hunched on his hands and knees under his desk, holding his hands to his burning face, he felt someone poke his shoulder. 

Hands falling away, hoping it was just Morgan come to tease him. And then nearly choking at her being crouched down with him. Tripping over her name as he forced it out. 

“Wha- what are you doing down here?”

Smiling softly, she held up a handful of pencils that she’d collected from around the room. The blush on both their faces being an equal match. 

“Helping? Sorry if I freaked you out just then.”

“No!” He lurched for her and found her shoulders, clinging tightly as she met his gaze. “You could never freak me out! I just.. wasn’t expecting you to look back at me.. that’s all.”

Oh yeah, she’s completely smitten by this man. Gently easing his hands from her shoulders so that his imbalance on his knees doesn’t take them both out. He’s called the human bambi for a reason, and it’s not just because he’s cute. 

Tilting her head gently, she shuffled a little closer until they were both under the desk. All conversation is suddenly being muffled around them, they’re in their own little bubble where nothing else matters. That bright smile of hers pulling at her lips in a way that makes his knees weak. 

Not ideal when they’re the thing he’s currently supporting himself with. 

“And.. why were you looking at me, Spence?”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

He didn’t even need to think about it, which is what made her utterly melt. If it weren’t the middle of the day, and she couldn’t already feel Emily’s judging eyes on her ass, she would’ve dragged him down to stay under his desk forever. 

Instead, she leant in and pecked his cheek, grinning when she pulled back and he was looking at her again. 

Jesus, she’s never felt more beautiful than when he’s looking at her. Hopefully she’s playing off her nerves well, because she feels like she’s going to implode. 

“Takes one to know one gorgeous. Get back to work.. you can ask me out later.”

She got up first, crawling out from under the desk and practically skipping back to Emily. Whereas Spencer was stuck for a long time, hand to his cheek and daft smile on his face. 

Until Morgan said his name and he moved before he could think. Smacking his head onto the table in his rush to clamber back to being vertical. 

The rush of standing up so fast and having his cheek kissed sending him a little dizzy.

“Y-Yeah?”

“We’ve got a case, let’s get to the jet so you can make your ‘love me’ eyes at your girl.”

Spluttering something that didn’t even manage to come out as words, he just had to follow along. Wondering just how long it would have to be to class the time as later, already knowing exactly where he’s going to take her.

Want more?! Good!

[hhnguyen]

life of a traitor

I’m really sorry if this one seemed a bit messy, because I was trying to convey the feelings from multiple POV’s at the same time instead of just one. ps. i will drown in the Lo’ak x Tsireya ship. My OTP for life. 

♢ Pairing: Dad!Jake Sully x Oldest daughter!Reader, Lo’ak x Tsireya, Dad!Jake Sully x Lo’ak

♢ Word count: 4k 

♢ Genre: angst, family comfort - Warnings: cursing, Jake being a bad dad for once but we still love him 

⌲ Description: “You have shamed this family.” Words hurt and they sting. Yet you make sure your dad gets to feel that very pain in the wake of Lo’ak’s return. 

M A S T E R L I S T

“The Sully boy has been found!”

“The oldest is with him! They’re both back!”

You were holding your breath, you realized, as the village got closer. The lit-up lanterns that seemed like mere specks of stars in the night from a distance not long ago now seemingly looming over you with intimidation for what was to come. Both of you were perched on the backs of the Metkayina warrior's mounts that had spotted the two swimming back into the reefs after sending the tulkun off. 

And with Atanzaw flying above your heads, shining in the dark with his bioluminescent marks, it was an easy spotting as an uproar had started. 

Your brother reached the dock first, thanking the one who helped as you followed up shortly after doing the same. 

As if as one, both yours and Lo’ak’s gaze locked onto Ao’nung standing at the very front beside his parents. He was silent, though you didn’t know if that was due to the aftermath of his scolding or guilt for nearly killing your brother.

For his sake, it better had been the latter. 

You merely stood back as Lo’ak was ready to pounce on the boy himself until your dad quickly intervened with raised hands of peace, and you could not stop the disappointed roll of your eyes. 

“Hey…” Jake was trying to make eye contact with him, but sensing how his youngest son was too busy death glaring at the Olo’eyktan’s heir it was a futile try. “Let’s have a look at you.”

“He’s fine, he’s fine. Just a few scratches,” your dad declared, obviously nervous and trying to appear calm. 

“Define fine,” you muttered, not bothering to be too discreet and catching both the eyes of Tonowari and Jake. 

Your mother was next, as she threw herself down on the lower ledge and grabbed Lo’ak by his shoulders, nails probably digging in uncomfortably for a short moment. There was clear distress for her child on her face, but also the aggravation of him getting into trouble again. A very familiar combination when it came to your baby brother, admittedly. 

You still made sure to be closer to him as you stepped up, shoulders just barely brushing your dad’s arm in passing and hovering a mere few inches behind. A silent shield to be used if needed. 

“I pray for the strength that I will not rip the eyeballs out of my youngest son!” She growled with a frustrated grab at his face - Lo’ak did nothing but lean away, face stone cold in all the chaos. 

His indifference was worrying you as you reached out to subtly hook your little pinky around his own. An action that only the two of you and Kiri could do with your extra fingers. His body didn’t reveal anything besides the slight twitch at the touch, but he didn’t pull away, and you took it as a good sign. 

For now. 

“No. My son knows better than to take him outside of the reef,” Tonowari pushed Ao’nung down to his knees by the back of his neck, a sight that gave you immense satisfaction as your lips curled up into a small smirk. “The blame is his.”

Your father was trying his best to de-escalate the situation, you knew that. And although you had a lot to say, things were going smoothly at this point, so they were held back. 

“Okay, let’s go,” Jake accepted it, urging Lo’ak to get a move on and you started to follow until the next words made you freeze in shock. 

“No. This is not Ao’nung’s fault. This was my idea.”

What the fuck was he doing?

Stupid, stupid boy!

Your heart was starting to pump, the disbelief at that flat-out lie from Lo’ak not making it any better. And you made sure to voice it. 

“Lo’ak!” Your hiss was hardly low in volume, or gentle in its approach. It was a harsh, aggressive sound that made several people look as you grabbed your youngest brother’s arm and pulled him to you. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

You were pretty sure your nails were digging into his skin much more painfully than your mom’s did. 

But as the idiot that he was, he wrenched away from you and continued on as if you hadn’t spoken. “Ao’nung tried to talk me out of it. Really.”

Lie, lie, lies!

The word thundered in your head as you pinched your eyes shut with a rigid sigh. Your parents had so clearly lost their patience as your dad went up first, your mom grabbing Lo’ak either in anger or confusion. “Lo’ak!”

You weren’t sure of anything, to be honest. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally finished. 

“Come on,” Jake’s voice was sternly laced with exhaustion as you both followed him.  “I got this one.”

How many times hadn’t you heard that sentence? 

There was a tense moment of silence as your family walked away, but Tuk was absent you noticed. Which was a good thing in itself, supposedly. She didn’t need to see this ugly side of your family so young - there were certain moments for learning, whereas others would just create minimal trauma. Just like now. 

“Dad, you told me to make friends with these kids, that was what I was trying to do-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” 

You cautiously straightened up at the apparent held-back anger and glanced at your mom, hoping she might help to diffuse the situation. But her glare was still firmly settled on Lo’ak, as you licked your lips anxiously. 

This situation was not reached its peak yet, the comprehension of the current mood washing over you. 

“Dad…”

“You brought shame to this family.”

It felt like the air had been sucked out of your lungs and stones beings violently shoved in their stead, eyes widening at the horrible words your dad…no, Jake Sully just blatantly said to your brother. 

Because this was not the dad that you knew. 

How could he? 

Saying such words when Lo’ak was already struggling with himself. 

Couldn’t they see that? 

It was so clear, your confusion nearly befuddled you enough, but not quite.

Because your anger was there. Simmering, boiling - ready to erupt at any moment - because this wasn’t fair.

Your baby brother was being so strong. 

Oh, how his expression squeezed your heart almost painfully. The way his shoulders just only drooped before straightening back up and fists clenching as his cold mask slipped back over the hurt that had been there only for a single second. 

“Can I go now?”

Don’t go. Please, don’t go. 

“Any more trouble I’ll tie a knot in your tail, you read me?”

Stop.

“Yes sir.”

Just fucking stop.  

With a flick of his eyes, your dad dismissed Lo’ak like he was one of his soldiers, and as you tried to reach out for him, your baby brother ignored you with a visible lean away. 

An action that hurt you more than you realized until now. 

“Where were you?” Your mom spoke for the first time, turning to Neteyam. 

Someone that had nothing to do with this whole fiasco. 

“Yeah, what happened to keep an eye on your brother?” 

You spoke before he could. “Where were you?”

Both of your parents turned to look, identical frowns on their faces as they stared you down at your tone. But you would not budge at their intimidation. 

“Excuse me?”

“How could you?” 

“Y/N this is not the time for one of your tirades again.”

The disbelieving laugh that you let out was so out of character that even Kiri’s eyes widened warily. 

Your sister was someone who often silently observed those around you. And she knew that at this point there was no going back. You were clearly losing it. 

“Y/N…” Your mom noticed the same, sensing the seams of your sensibility started to fray at the edges as you and Jake were locked in a stare-down. 

You grinned widely, all teeth on show as your arms spread to the side. “You know what? Thank you for suggesting that dad! I would love to actually!”

Tirades were your favorite part time after all. 

His eyes narrowed dangerously, a finger hovering in the air as Jake hissed in a breath before muttering out harshly - his eyes flickering to the curious audience gathering at your volume. “Watch yourself, young lady.” 

“Why?” Your reply was all but spat out. “Are you embarrassed? Ashamed perhaps?”

“Y/N, you do not speak to your father like that!” Your mom’s voice snapped up, gaze hard with a hint of surprise which you assumed was due to your attitude. 

Admittedly a side that you had never shown before. Or at least managed to hold back in tense moments. 

“Why the hell not?!” your words were met by the gasps of Kiri and Neteyam at the audacity, but they were easily ignored as you whirled to look at your father. 

He had his lips peeled back in a mid-snarl, his animalistic side coming out to warn you of the hierarchy in this family.

“You always speak to us like that! Whenever your emotions are too much to handle and you lash out at us. You say it’s our fault all disguised under your excuse of being a worried parent!”

“Lo’ak is fourteen, dad!” Making sure you had his attention you stepped closer. “Four-teen. He’s fourteen and already thinks he’s a fucking failure - and do you wanna know why that is?” there was no pause in your words as you threw them at his face. “Because of you.”

“You do not get to talk to me this way, Y/N,” Jake was clenching his jaw to the point he was sure his teeth would shatter. “I am your father-”

“-what father tells their child they’re ashamed of them?” You offered him a bitter smile. “The one I know sure as hell doesn’t.”

“Your brother made his choice. These are the consequences that follow-” your dad was having a hard time holding back with the way his voice raised mid-sentence before forcefully stopping himself and releasing a breath. “-that follow along with his actions. I am trying to teach him a lesson.”

“Did you ask him?”

“What?”

“Did. You. Ask. Him?”

Jake sighed in frustration, his hands coming up to grasp at empty air. “What are you talking about?” 

“Did you even bother to ask your son whose fault this really was?” you weren’t interested in hearing his answer. “Do you even know your son? Because I do, and do you wanna know why again? Because I damn well pay attention!”

The laugh coming out of your dad made chills appear on your skin, but you were already far too deep in to turn back. Things were already fucked up, then why not cross the line a little more. 

“Okay then, you little smartass. Are you telling me I don’t care about my own kid?”

He thought he had you there.

 “Caring and knowing are two very different things.” This time you were the one who had him. Shutting down his own retort. 

“You say you love us. You say you care for us. But also that we worry you, and that we disappoint you. Fine - that’s fine dad. But you don’t get to say that we have shamed you.”

For once during this entire duration, you hesitated. 

Your next words were waiting on the tip of your tongue, heavy and loaded - something you didn’t want to say, but a part of you needed to let them out. To let your dad, or even Jake Sully, the former marine soldier hear them to his face from someone close to him.

To feel the same stabbing pain that Lo’ak most certainly did earlier. 

Your aggressive protectiveness came victorious. 

So you let them loose. 

“You don’t get to say that; because we’re not the ones who betrayed an entire race to be where we are.”

Jake stumbled back in shock as if those very words had shot him right in the chest and he couldn’t stop them. Stop the truth that they were covered in. 

It was like a pin dropped in the heavy silence that followed between the loose circle your family stood in. Your mother for the first time in her life since giving birth to you hissed in protectiveness over her mate - at her own daughter - your brother sprung to your side and twisted you away with a snarl of your name, in warning, not scolding. Whereas Kiri remained still, eerie gaze never leaving you.

However, you weren’t done. 

“Hurts doesn’t it?” your voice croaked as Jake’s eyes slowly raised to meet yours. “Words.”

You left without saying anything else.

+

Warm. Gentle. Comforting and so loving.

Tsireya’s hold on his hands was always a welcoming feeling. 

Her touch seemed to ground him more than he sometimes realized. A feeling that was unfamiliar to him mostly, and one that always reminded him of you. 

But right now, with the two of them sitting on a boulder on the edge of a patchy space of grass and gazing out into the star covered night together, it was a touch that calmed the stabbing hurt from earlier and made the night all more bearable. 

Lo’ak had no idea how many hours that passed since the chaos that had ensued after returning with you. His hearing basically stopped working after his dad’s true feelings had slapped him in the face with their words - that stung more than an actual slap would have. 

He would have rather taken that slap. 

“Are you okay?” Tsireya’s voice was soft and light, so sweet in its tone that he couldn’t even stop the small smile on his face after the tumultuous day. 

“I will be,” he admitted honestly. He would always be somewhat okay after a few days, that was the truth. 

The real question was if he would ever heal from it. That one he wasn’t so sure about. 

Lo’ak might not have been mistreated or even abused by his family. A minimum that was expected for a happy life. Because in a certain perspective, he was fortunate in the life that he did have. 

Two caring, protective parents. 

Four loving siblings. 

A grandmother for Tsahik. 

And a home. Kind off. 

Then why didn’t he feel fortunate?

“You can always rely on me, you know that right?” 

Eywa. How beautiful her large eyes looked staring up at him from her place, where her head was previously leaned on his shoulder. 

They were sparkling, he swore. The aquamarine color of them stood out even more in the darkness surrounding them. The bioluminescent lights of nature surrounding them made her all the more ethereal in his gaze.

So large and so loving and caring in the way they always looked at him. 

And not for the first time, Lo’ak found his own gaze wavering - flickering down lower on her face and to her lips, which were adorably pulled down in a slightly concerned pout for him. 

They might be young, just fourteen-year-old kids still growing. But he wasn’t stupid or ignorant at his age. He was well versed in romantic feelings and commitment to your partners, and how to cherish each other if the right one ever did appear. 

And his dad made good on his promise to teach them all about teenage hormones and urges, and how to control them in a respectful manner. To know when it was too early to start exploring what he wanted or not. 

Lo’ak wanted to kiss her. He knew that. It wasn’t a secret. 

But it was too early. And in the aftermath of his falling out with his parents, it seemed too…raw. 

He didn’t want to use someone he was growing to care more for each day as a way of making himself feel better. 

And Tsireya deserved better, being the kindhearted person she was. And he wasn’t quite there to give it to her yet. 

But one day, he hoped he would be. 

“Thank you,” was all he managed to say in reply offering a small tug of his lips as she stared at him for a moment longer before turning away, the clear tell of redness on the tip of her ears as she realized their proximity for the first time. 

He didn’t see a reason to tease her about it, not wanting to break the serenity that they were currently in. It was somewhat possible to block everything that happened. 

He did say somewhat. 

The rustling of bushes becoming louder made both of them straighten up and turn back, only to see Jake coming closer in a slow yet determined stride. 

Lo’ak felt his heart starting to beat faster, a sudden change from the steady calm it had managed to find in the last couple of hours. 

The reality was catching up to him again at the appearance of his father. 

Tsireya turned to look at him with her concerned wide eyes again, he didn’t manage to answer her before his dad had reached them - but Lo’ak didn’t expect to notice the nervous fiddle of his hands as Jake stopped only a few feet away. 

“Hey kids-” his pause was out of character. “Do you mind if I speak to my son a bit, Tsireya?”

As if Lo’ak couldn’t fall for the girl more than he already did. Because instead of letting the presence of his father and Toruk Makto completely intimidate her, she turned to him first; Silently asking if he wanted her to leave. 

Jake seemed to be surprised himself, although pleasantly so. He has been so used to everyone outside of his family doing most things at his beck and call, both as a clan leader and war hero. He had clearly underestimated the relationship between the two young teens in front of him. 

Tsireya stood to leave quickly at the assuring nod of Lo’ak, before parting with a polite smile in Jake’s direction and going back to the village with one last look over her shoulder. 

There was a moment of complete stillness before Jake came and sat down on the space previously occupied next to Lo’ak. The boy didn’t even bother to acknowledge his father, simply staring out at the lapping water, shoulders hunched over. 

His two braids on the side of his face felt like the only shield to cover him as he let them hang, avoiding eye contact firmly. 

Jake let out a heavy sigh, having already expected the cold behavior of his youngest son. 

He didn’t blame him either. 

He had acted like a grade-A asshole, with the biggest A to exist in the universe. And towards his own child too. 

Jake Sully has never claimed parenthood to be easy in any way. It was a hard, taxing journey that he obviously was still trying to learn from. It was a road that never stopped no matter how old his kids got. He would always be a father, but he’s admittedly been a shit one as of late. 

And that wasn’t only according to you. 

Your words had hurt. Like a damn punch to his face. Or ten. 

That was true - Neytiri knew it too. And that made him think and regret. If those words stung him as they did, how much had he hurt his own kid by saying something he didn’t even mean?

Not really at least. 

Jake had been angry at the moment. Pissed off, to be honest. But it was also the overwhelming worry of his kid’s disappearance that made him act out. But it was no excuse for anything he had said.

You were still avoiding him. Well, ignoring is more like it. Which was even worse. Besides your siblings, you were actively shutting out the presence of both him and Neytiri despite their tries in the last few hours to speak. 

Kiri was the one to voice out your thoughts. “She won’t speak unless Lo’ak forgives you first.”

Was it strange that Jake was still proud of you? You owned the same pride he did as a young marine and his first moments on Pandora. 

An unyielding pride that often got him in trouble. 

But for you, it was a pride that protected your siblings even against your own parents. 

“You know, sometimes I think you deserve a better dad.”

Lo’ak didn’t reply, but the shift in his body assured Jake that he was paying attention. 

“I never wanted kids. Never even thought of having them until I met your mother. The world was already shitty enough as it was, so I didn’t see a point in bringing new life into it. And after my injury, that thought cemented.”

“Well, I’m sorry for ending up being your kid,” his low mutter was an inner thought not ever planning to see the light of day. Especially in front of the man himself. But he couldn’t stop himself. 

Jake let out a shuddering breath, finally realizing how deep this…trauma his youngest son was experiencing. And you had been right again; it was all his fault. 

“No, no Lo’ak,” moving closer, his son didn’t resist as he gently grabbed the back of his nape to push their foreheads together. 

Despite his bitter words, his body still relaxed at the comforting feeling. Because it was obvious - even after everything, he still loved his dad. Still craved the comforts of his protective touches, and his overpowering hugs that were rare but much needed whenever offered. 

“I’m sorry, son,” Jake whispered, eyes clenched shut and voice wavering with tears. “I have not been the father you needed since the war started, I know that now. I will try to improve, and I can’t promise I won’t fuck up further in the coming days, but I will never not love you.”

“Dad…”

Lo’ak wanted to cry. 

And in the protective embrace of his dad, he did. He let those long held tears flow loose, dripping down his cheeks and starting to obscure his vision as his breath started to heave at the force of it all. 

“What I said wasn’t true. I am proud of the man you’re starting to grow into, and you have never shamed this family. I am the one who should be ashamed, never you.” 

“I-I am sorry-”

“Stop saying sorry,” Jake demanded pulling his son closer. “Your sister was right. My burdens should not fall on your shoulders. You’re still young and deserve to be a child, not a soldier. So I am sorry.”

Pressing his lips against the crown on his youngest boy’s head, Jake only held him as his silent tears turned into soft sobs. All the pain and hurt that he had bottled up because of him, finally being lifted off his young shoulders that should have never been born them to begin with. 

“Will you ever forgive your old man of his faults?” His dad asked after several minutes he finished crying, his deep voice hoarse with nerves. 

Lo’ak had no idea how long his meltdown lasted, only letting out everything in the presence of his dad without restraint until he had no more tears left. It could have been five minutes or ten. Who knew at this point? 

“You’re my dad…” he had whispered in return. “I will always forgive you.”

There was a thankful smile on Jake’s face, wrinkles crinkling in the corners of his wet eyes. “Then you’re a far better person than I have ever been. Thank you.”

He swallowed, and for the first time in a while, his next words had never been more genuine than at this moment. 

“I love you, dad.”

There was a firm, warm squeeze around his body at hearing that. 

“God, I love you too, kiddo. So much you don’t even know.”

Maybe he’d been mistaken after all. 

Lo’ak doubted this would be the end of their turmoils because life came with them. It was just how it was; parents get angry at their kids, siblings get angry at each other and vice versa. 

It was expected, but at least from now on he would be assured of his parents’ love for him, and their presence would be constant and there whenever he would need them despite their own faults as people.

Updates will unfortunately be a bit slow moving forward. My 3rd semester has started and I’ve started to prepare for my MA thesis + 4 classes, so my days are packed 🥲

taglist:

@nao-cchi @eywas-heir @ssc7514 @spicycloudsalad @calums-betch @httpjiikook @ricecakeslove @fanboyluvr @iwaslikeblah   @the-wandering-pan-ace @avatarloversblog @eternallyvenus @enchantinggoateefox @arianapntn @heydemonsitsme @slyvixen1029​ @promiseofeywa @love13tter @directioner5life @bambisposts-blogs @melllinaa  @sugarmummystuff6 @lovekeeho @marit332 @hai-kbai @missroro @lola2004sworld @kage-yaa​

[lilia-calderus-pet-goat]

Found-Family headcanons for a³'s coven of chaos, part 1: (because they all deserved more time with each other)

(part 2, here.)

(part 3, here.)

Agatha learned spanish for Rio, obviously—and spices up her dialogue with Spanish phrases out of habit. I assume she also knows other languages, being alive for as long as she has.

But I'd also like to think that language-learning gradually becomes something they all surprise each other with. And this is definitely super self-indulgent, because I'm always ecstatic when my native English-speaker friends are interested in learning my language.

For example, I definitely think Billy would ask Alice to teach him korean—and she'd be really excited for that. Not to mention, I feel like Billy just has the vibe of someone who'd be interested in learning different languages. (and korean in particular I think he'd definitely find interesting.)

I also definitely think Jen would try learning Sicilian for Lilia, considering the effort she makes to understand her and keep her comfortable towards the end. Lilia would be so moved, because she probably hasn't spoken to anyone in her mother-tongue in centuries. Like, it's literally considered an endanged language. (“Currently considered a “vulnerable” language by UNESCO, Sicilian faces increasing pressure from standard Italian, though it remains stronger than nearly all other Italian language varieties.”)

Mrs. Davis loves making food for all of them, always trying to diversify her cooking to suit their appetites, their cultures, the things each of them can eat, etc. It's a lot, but she doesn't mind!! She's a grandma!! She loves feeding people—and she missed having someone to cook for.

She grows her greens all by herself, too. Rio occasionally helps her with weeding and stuff. Mrs. Davis is freaked out by her rancid vibes at first, but ends up saying she's a “very sweet girl,” to which everyone responds by staring at her horrified.

Mrs. Davis would also definitely make a chore chart for everyone, but it never works out for a NUMBER of reasons.

First or all, Agatha always skips her turn with cleaning, saying that “she forgot.” She knows that either Billy or Sharon will just take care of it anyways. (Jen refuses to do any of Agatha's chores. “She can either do it by herself or drown in her own garbage-”)

Lilia always gets distracted and leaves her chores unfinished. She can only ever remember laundry, for some reason—she does everyone's laundry. But other than that, jeez. My girl is messy and that's okay. She has her very own unique way of finding where she puts her stuff, but others would merely call it chaos. Jen always picks up after her—and Lilia always huffs and puffs about how, “well now I can't find anything!”

Alice is the sort of person who accidentally creates messes everywhere, then stuffs everything wherever she finds. In drawers, under beds, you name it. Very, “out of sight, out of mind.” Like, she probably has “a chair” where she throws all her clothes.

Billy is very responsible, always abiding to the chore chart and oftentimes doing Agatha's chores too.

Jen is a total neat freak. She wants everything to be organised and under control—and she needs everything to smell nice.

She always makes the others scented candles. Agatha claims they're “useless garbage,” but uses them anyways.

Jen is also the one who usually keeps track of the bills and expenses, since she earns the most through her, “real job.”

Lilia is the sort of person to get lost in the mall, or even just the super-market. Alice has needed to look for her more than once.

Agatha loves crushing Jen's videos by appearing in the background and doing whatever bullshit she feels like.

Alice and Billy are everyone's mediators. Whenever someone gets in an argument, they're the ones who force them to work it out.

Alice is very protective of Sharon and Lilia, because she has mommy issues. Agatha has the opposite sort of mommy issues—but Sharon and Lilia treat them both like they're their kids.

The first time Billy brought Eddie to meet his coven, they literally put him through trials to decide whether he's worthy to date their son. Eddie is surprised he's been coven-approved.

“These women are insane, Billy—but then again, so am I for sticking around anyways.”

Eddie is very tired. His favourite coven members are Jen and Alice, who he considers the most normal. I REALLY think he'd fuck with Jen, because they're both so done with everyone else.

[helluvapoison]

Crystal Clear

Zestial x Reader

warning: lil violence, probably inaccurate old english

Consider yourself lucky to find yourself under Zestial’s good graces and watchful eyes. While he sends you bottles of delicious, ancient wine and carnivorous flowers, others are on the opposite end. That’s what Alastor tells you at least and he refuses to elaborate. While you’re curious to know what could be the opposite of flowers, you think your imagination might be an easier pill to swallow than the truth.

You’ve long since agreed to go on that promenade with the Overlord (which you’ve found out means a walk by a lake) but Zestial, according to the notes on the recent bouquet of grey roses, “hasn’t known a moment’s peace” for a month now. His cursive is flawless with accentuated strokes and curls that take up the entire card. You wanted to thank him for all the gifts but a call felt impersonal… and something told you he didn’t own a phone.

A letter would probably suffice except you weren’t sure where to send it. Alastor continued to be no help. At first it struck you as odd because you thought the two of them were friends but that’s on you, you should have known Alastor doesn’t have friends. So you set out to Zestial’s corner of The Pride Ring. It was old fashioned like Cannibal Town but not nearly as nice.

By that, you mean the people are just as shitty as they are everywhere else in Hell.

Not even two steps over the invisible threshold and you’re shoved into the side of a building, cool brick meeting your shoulder hard. You move to give the jerk a silent “fuck you” at the very least, raising your middle finger as she bolts away from you. Two steps the same, she’s dragged into an alley by a shadow.

“Pray tell,” A familiar voice, so smooth and close, drowns out the nearby screaming. Zestial himself steals your attention and your breath. You don’t even have time to wonder where he came from.

“Doth thyn own eyes deceive? A firefly has entered the web of a spider by thous own accord? Thy had not expected this turn of events. What brings thee to my web this hellish day?”

“Oh! I wanted to thank you for all the presents you sent.” You explain, patting your pockets for the envelope addressed to him.

Humming, his eyes roam across his name as he gingerly takes the pink paper. He doesn’t open it then, instead bringing into the abyss of his coat where it disappears from your sight.

“The pleasure belongs entirely to thyn own self,” Zestial says politely, his smile disappearing as he speaks, “Oh how outrageous thou must be, for thou has been generously patient. Apologies, firefly. Thyst swears this will not happen twice.”

You tilted your head, brows pulling together as you deciphered Zestial’s words. When it settles in you’re quick to hold up your hands. You’re so quick to fix things, you missed his pet name again.

“I—Oh! No, I’m not upset! I understand you’re busy.”

This pleases Zestial immensely, his smile returning and etching across his face once more.

“Thous kindness continues. Please, allow thy to return thee from whence thou came. Thyn would be remiss should something happen to thee.” He paused, voice dropping as he glared over his shoulder, “Twice.”

Zestial swiftly offers his arm to you when you try to see what he was looking at. A part of you did know he was sparing you a gruesome sight… the other part didn’t care as much as you should.

Falling into step with the Overlord, you’re suddenly aware of how much labor he’s putting into walking at your pace. It looks effortless enough. He practically glides as he walks anyhow. Still, it didn’t go unnoticed by you. Despite slightly delving into his frustrations (via cards) about how busy he was, he seemed in no rush to return to his territory to deal with whatever it may be.

“I looked up what promenade means, by the way,” You say eventually, though the silence between you both was comfortable enough, “I’d officially like to accept your invitation now. When work slows down for you, of course.”

Zestial chuckles, looking straight ahead, “Thyn has been working tirelessly to ensure uninterrupted time with thee. Much like this, only with a more suitable location for such a sweet soul as thou.”

“Tirelessly, huh? Don’t forget to take breaks,” You chastise playfully.

“In thys undead existence, thyn has come to be sure that there is no time for breaks. Change is constant and quick. Thyn is forced to adapt when thyn does not wish to or thy will be left a—how did one say? A relic.”

Now it was your turn to frown.

“Someone said that to you?”

His amusement remained alive as ever despite the terrible insult.

“Fret not. There shan’t be much for one to say any longer.”

You cross your arms and nod firmly.

“Howevermore, mayhaps there was truth in one’s words. It appears to thy, that the more thyst resists the ever growing changes of this modern day, the farther thyst casts thys own self into darkness.” Zestial sighs and trails off towards the end, “Tis a rather lonely existence.”

Slowly, you nod your head. It takes a minute to translate what he said and another to respond but Zestial is nothing if not patient.

“Change is constant,” You begrudgingly agree.

He hums in appreciation, “Precisely.”

“But it doesn’t have to be lonely if you don’t want it to be. You have Carmilla and—” You hesitate which caught his attention.

“And?”

“Well, I was going to say me. If you want, that is.”

Zestial chuckles. It’s a dark, raspy sound that makes your bones vibrate and sends a shiver throughout your body.

“Thy would be honored to call thoust a friend.. for the time being. Thy can only be content in the darkness for so long now that light has been seen. Thoust will inevitably succumb to a courtship, thyself assures thee.”

“You lost me a little bit,” You replied, dipping your hand from side to side in a so-so motion.

The green of his eyes shrink upwards in amusement yet again. Zestial straightens, looking around as if debating something he doesn’t feel inclined to share this time. You show him the same courtesy he showed you and waited for him to gather his thoughts.

“As commerce for such a divine outing, and solidifying our enriching conversation, thoust will be repaid in kind. Just this once.” Zestial declares, holding up a single, slender finger from his coat, “You and I are much alike, dear firefly, we shall not be easily discouraged from our desires.”

He holds out his hand and waits for yours to join. It’s not a perfect fit, his fingers could wrap around yours two times over, but it feels nice. Zestisl is oddly warm with soft palms and an unfailingly gentle grip. Bowing, he kisses your knuckles like he did the first time,

“Until next time. Thy will count the seconds,” He says quietly.

You don’t realize there’s an audience until he sinks into the cracks on the ground and absconds from your view. If you’re honest, you didn’t catch quite a bit from the last few minutes. You’re still stuck in the web of time where Zestial said he desired you. At least you think that’s what he said. Funny, even when he says it in layman’s terms you’re still not sure what Zestial meant.

[joelalorian]

Fall Into Me - Chapter Eleven: Fall Into Me and I'll Catch You Darlin'

dbf!joel x f!reader | WC: 5k | E 18+ mdni

Series Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings. Joel is his own warning. Angst/despair, fluff, smut - this chapter has the works. Please excuse my lack of medical knowledge. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad and Joel uses various terms of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, etc.).

This is it, folks, the final chapter! Just the epilogue left now. Thank you for coming along on this ride with me. I have fallen in love with this little family and I hope you have as well.

Moodboard by the lovely @mrsmando. Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Chapter Ten | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Four days. Joel hadn’t left your bedside in four days, so immovable that the nurses took pity on him and asked an orderly to setup a cot for him in your hospital room.

You still hadn’t regained consciousness and Joel was losing his god damned mind over it.

The list of your injuries a mile long, among them a bunch of broken things – ankle, nose, ribs, wrist. That’s what you were right now, broken, and you had a hard road to recovery ahead of you. Joel agonized over your condition, freaking out when you had to go back into surgery shortly after coming out of it the first time. He’d barely laid eyes on you before they hauled you away again, machines beeping chaotically at whatever went wrong. You developed a hemorrhage, the doctor later told him, but they caught it in time.

Joel hadn’t stopped crying in four days, except for a brief time when Sarah was discharged. He held her for hours, trying his best not to smother or hurt her as she sat on his lap next to your bed. Aside from a purple cast on Sarah’s broken wrist, her limited injuries were already healing. Joel’s worry over his sweet little girl lessened a bit and he trusted Tommy, your dad, and your best friend, Emily, to watch over her while he sat vigil at your bedside. They brought Sarah by to see you twice a day, every day so far. Still, you hadn’t woken up.

He lost it the first time Sarah saw you lying there, barely recognizable from the injuries you sustained. Face bruised and swollen, body wrapped in casts or dressings. Sarah worried that you were dying, nearly inconsolable at the thought that you might die, might leave her, and her dad, forever. She couldn’t handle it, the thought of losing the only mom she’d ever known, ever wanted.

Joel had to leave the room at his daughter’s visceral expression of the pain she felt, her inconsolable weeping a reflection of his own anguish. He left Tommy to deal with it, and slid down the wall in the hallway, just a little way down from your room, shoulders shaking from the strength of his own sobs as the sound of Sarah’s caterwauling carried through the air. JB was the only one who could reach him through his pain, the understanding of one father for another as they both shed endless tears over you. He sat next to Joel, right there in the hallway, and wept with him, whispering words of praise of how strong you were, how much you loved them all, how you would pull through.

Joel fought hard to believe those words, to trust in JB’s hope as he was quickly losing his. He raged inside at how unfair life could be until he exhausted himself emotionally and fell into a dreamless daze in the cot next to you. When the sun rose above the horizon, he stopped trying to sleep, stopped pretending that he could while you remained unconscious.

“Come on, son. Go home and shower, take a nap in a real bed. You haven’t slept in days. I’ll watch over Spud, and you’ll be my first call if anything happens,” JB insisted the morning of day 5 at the sight of heavy bags beneath the younger man’s eyes.

Opening his mouth to argue, to adamantly refuse, Joel snapped it shut at the concerned look on your dad’s face. He gave into the exhaustion then, all the fight fleeing him, and he stood with shoulders hunched. He was completely deflated, emotionally and physically. “Ok, you’re right. I at least need a shower.”

“That you do. I could smell you down the hall.” Joel’s lips twitched at JB’s comedic effort, but he didn’t have it in him to smile or laugh. “Go on, git. Emily’s at your house with Sarah. She’ll stay while you nap – please try to get some sleep. I don’t want to see you for at least three hours, ya hear me, son?”

Joel nodded and kissed the small spot on your face free of bruising, slinking from the room with one last glance over his shoulder at you. He noticed how your dad kept calling him son – a new development since the accident and it warmed his heart in a way that he sorely needed during this torturous time.

The drive home a blur, his limbs functioning on muscle memory alone, Joel stumbled through the front door of his home with just enough energy to great Emily and Sarah.

“Joel!” Emily exclaimed, jumping from her spot on the couch to pull him into a tight hug. She adored him from the first second you introduced them, finding the man dreamy in that way that was a perfect match for you. It tore her apart to see him falling to pieces over your current condition. “JB commanded that I send you right to bed. Give Sarah a kiss then git goin’.”

Too drained to be disgruntled about being given orders in his own house, he swept Sarah up with tired limbs, ever mindful of her cast. “Hey baby girl. I love you. Have you been good for Miss Emily?”

“Yes, Daddy, I’m always good. Is she any better?” Sarah asked in her sweet, young voice that pulled taut at his heartstrings.

“Not yet,” Joel choked on the words, unable to fight the tears stinging the back of his eyes at his daughter’s worried face. He set her down on the couch before trudging up the stairs. Aching to climb into bed – as empty and cold as it would be without you – but he jumped into the shower first to wash the past few days away.

If only it was that easy.

Joel collapsed on the unmade bed, barely managing to throw a pair of sleep pants on after the quick shower. He was dead asleep seconds after his head hit the pillow.

An hour later, he pried his eyes open, clutching to the warm body clinging to him. For a brief moment, his mind thought it just another normal morning waking up to you at his side. Reality crashed down on him, hard, before he even had the chance to enjoy the thought. Sarah’s frame clung to him like a spider monkey in her sleep. She must have joined him for a nap at some point and was still out cold.

Her steady breathing lulled him back to sleep for another couple hours until Emily woke him with a shout. Joel bolted upright at the echo of his name, heart thumbing in his chest as he jostled Sarah in the process.

“Joel!” Emily called again as she reached the top of the stairs and peeked into his bedroom. “She’s awake!”

Mind still fighting through the fog to wake up, he stared at your best friend with owlish eyes.

“JB just called. She’s awake! You gotta get back to the hospital!” Emily stepped fully into the room, tossing a pair of jeans and a tee shirt at him to get him moving.

“Dad!” Sarah’s uninjured hand nudging him into action as she exclaimed. “Can I come with you?”

Finally, Joel’s mind kicked into gear. You were awake. He had to see you, but first, he needed to get dressed. “Not yet, baby girl. Lemme see how she’s doing and maybe you can see her tomorrow. We don’t want to overwhelm her, okay?”

Flopping back onto the mattress with a pout, Sarah muttered, “Okay,” as Joel eased out of bed with a groan.

It started with muscle twitches. Fingers flexing. A small grimace creasing your battered face. The process to consciousness was a daunting one that ended with fighting against the intubation tube. Even once a nurse came in and removed the tube, you still fought to come fully back to yourself.

“Dad?” Throat dry and raw, you could do little more than croak despite the rising panic. Your eyes darted around the room in confusion, landing first on your dad before taking in the plain white walls and clinical equipment. You were in the hospital, that much was obvious, but you couldn’t recall why. A thick fog wove through your mind, leaving you trying to make sense of anything, everything.

“Hey Spud. Sleeping beauty finally awakens,” your dad teased, his voice gentle but, even with a foggy brain, you picked up on the worried undertone.

“What happened?” It hurt to talk but you needed to know.

“You don’t remember? Of course you don’t, you got a pretty good knock to the head,” he muttered half to himself before tenderly taking your hand between both of his. “You and Sarah were hit by a drunk driver. Does that ring a bell?”

Like a light bulb coming on, things came back to you, brightening the dark corners of your memory. The ride home from school, going to get ice cream, the sudden and unexpected impact as you proceeded through a green light, the car rolling once, twice, then… nothing. With the memory came your brain’s recognition of pain and your body’s aches made themselves well known.

Everything hurt.

Seriously, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to move, to lie still. It hurt to just fucking exist.

“Oh my God, Sarah? Is she okay? Where is she? Where is Joel?” You glanced around the room as if waiting for them jump out from behind something, the panic returning as you gulped for air.

“Calm down, honey. The little nugget is okay. She’s home, Emily’s watching over her now. Joel’s on his way back. I’ll let him tell you how she is, but just know that she’s fine.” JB spoke in short, clipped sentences, not wanting to overwhelm you further, one grizzled hand stroking your hair back like he did when you were sick as a kid.

You tried to sit up but abandoned that idea the moment the room spun, the throbbing pain too much. Fuck, your face hurt like hell.

“Don’t do that, Spud. While Sarah might be okay, you were seriously injured. I’ll let the doctor explain when he comes in, but you shouldn’t try moving or anything just yet. You’re pretty banged up,” he explained softly.

You met your dad’s eyes, and you could see at once the toll your condition took on him. You had so many questions, but you couldn’t process them quite yet. The pair of you sat quietly for a little while until the doctor joined you, explaining the laundry list of injuries you sustained. No wonder everything hurt. They gave you more medicine for the pain now that you regained consciousness – you couldn’t believe you were out for so long – and things started to make more sense in your brain.

You’d be stuck in the hospital for a few more days before the doctor would even think about discharging you. As much as hospitals sucked, you knew it best you stay put when you couldn’t even sit up with collapsing back in pain.

Joel burst into the room shortly after the doctor left. Sipping at a cup of water your dad held for you, you nearly choked at the sight of him. You’d never seen him look so disheveled, so run down, his normal scruff grown out into a near full beard after a week of not shaving, eyes bloodshot and sunken, curls a messy, wild halo around his head.

“Oh darlin’,” Joel said as you attempted to smile at him. The bandages covering portions of your face and the swelling from the repaired break in your nose made it hard, but your eyes sparkled with happiness at the sight of him.

“Hi Joel,” you croaked in return.

He practically launched himself at your side, knocking JB out of the way so he could sit bedside. Hands hovering, afraid to touch, tears glistened in his eyes. “I was so fuckin’ scared. Thought I was gonna lose you.”

Tears sprung to your own dry eyes as the fingers of your uninjured hand tangled with his. The mere tickle of tears in your nose was damn near excruciating. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

Startled, Joel’s dark chocolate eyes searched your face, completely baffled. “Darlin’, what? What in the world are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

You blubbered as Joel and your dad stared at you bewildered. “I almost got Sarah killed!”

Joel cracked a smile then, the first one in nearly a week, before leaning forward to place a tender kiss upon your chapped lips. “The hell you did. You didn’t do anything but take care of her. None of this was your fault, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t shake the guilt though, not even days later when the doctor discharged you. Sweet, little Sarah waited for you with a bright smile and a mylar ballon that read Welcome Home as Joel and JB helped you into the house. The sight of the purple cast on her right wrist wiped the smile from your face. How could Joel not see that this was all your fault?

You could hardly hug the girl as guilt overwhelmed you.

Emily and Tommy stood behind Sarah as you wobbled through the front door, smiles not hiding the winces at the healing trauma on your face. Emily could tell at once that you were on the verge of breaking down, unable to take your eyes from the healing contusions on Sarah’s adorable face or the cast on her wrist.

Stepping forward, Emily pulled you into a hug, ever mindful of your healing ribs and incisions. “It’s so good to see you awake and in one piece!” she whispered in your ear. “None of this was your fault, you know that right?”

She knew you too well. You choked on a sob, burying your head in her shoulder for several minutes until you had your emotions back under control.

“Do you wanna sign my cast? Daddy got special markers for it! I wouldn’t let anyone else sign it before you came home.” Sarah held a silver Sharpie up for you, flashing those puppy dog eyes at you. Unable to deny her, you took the marker with a trembling hand and drew a heart on the topside of the cast, your name scrawled sloppily beneath it.

Delighted, Sarah handed Joel the marker next and, with a quick glance at you, printed his name above the heart you drew, adding Sarah’s next to yours so that it now read Joel hearts you & Sarah. The tears returned when both Sarah and Joel gazed at you with unabashed affection.

Perhaps they really did not blame you for the accident, for Sarah’s broken wrist, for all that you put them through in the past week and a half. You weren’t sure if you deserved their love, but you basked in it, allowing it to wash over you and heal your soul.

Six weeks of convalescing at home under the tender care of Joel and Sarah, and you finally felt like yourself again, emotionally, and physically. It took a while, but Joel managed to convince you to set free the irrational guilt you felt over the accident, aided by the news that the drunk driver pleaded guilty.

Wanting to celebrate your recovery and the removal of your and Sarah’s casts, Joel planned a small gathering for July 4th. Just the Millers, JB, Emily and her husband, and Maria – the attorney Tommy fell head over heels for last year finally gave into his advances and they were happily living together now. She was a gem and fell right in with the group, giving as good as she got.

“Darlin’, just put that down, I’ll get it,” Joel insisted as you pulled a plate full of raw steaks from the fridge.

“Joel, I’m not a delicate little flower who will break under the weight of a few steaks,” you teased lovingly. Placing the plate on the counter, you turned to Joel and slipped your arms around his neck. Fingers threading through his curls, you pulled his head down, pressing your lips to his. “I love you.”

Joel’s large hands slid down your back, grabbing your ass as the kiss intensified. “Mmmm, I love you, darlin’,” his deep voice rumbled against your mouth. A knock sounded on the front door as he placed another kiss on your lips. “Now, let me take care of this while you welcome our guests.”

Before long, everyone gathered in the backyard. Your dad, Joel, and Emily’s husband Ed stood around the grill while Joel cooked the steaks and Sarah showed off her swimming skills to Maria and Tommy. You and Emily sat on the patio with glasses of sangria just watching everyone you love.

“I know I’ve said it a million times already but thank you again for being there for them after the accident,” you said as you watched Joel manning the grill with confidence. “I know it couldn’t have been easy and I just want you to know that I appreciate you.”

“Always, that’s what friends are for.” Emily smiled at you. “You really got somethin’ good here, you know. That man, he was a complete wreck while you were in the hospital. And that little girl, she worships the ground you walk on. Those two would do anything for you and I know you would do anything for them.”

You heard from your dad how hard Joel struggled while you were in the hospital, how he barely slept, refused to leave your side. Emily reiterated it all and you knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that you would have done the same if anything happened to him or Sarah.

“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” you said after taking a sip of the fruity red wine concoction. “I can’t imagine my life without them in it.”

“That’s good, really good.” Too busy making googly eyes at Joel, you missed the knowing look Emily shot you.

“She can’t keep her eyes off you, son,” JB teased. “You ready to do the thing?”

“What thing is that?” Ed asked curiously.

“Imma ask her to marry me,” Joel mumbled, already feeling a little nervous. “I got the ring in my pocket, just waiting for the right moment.”

“Good on ya, man!” Ed replied. Turning to JB, he added, “I take it he has your blessing?”

Nodding, JB grinned at his future son-in-law as he replied, “He sure as hell does. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to take care of my little Spud.”

A flush rose along Joel’s neck and moved onto his cheeks at the praise. “Alright, alright. Let’s not talk about it anymore. I don’t wanna risk her overhearing something. I want it to be a surprise.”

The other two men nodded in understanding. “Just one last thing,” Ed said. “You should ask her during the fireworks. I brought my good camera; I’ll make sure to get great shots of it for you and the fireworks will just add to the ambiance.”

The steaks were grilled to perfection, Joel nailing that medium rare sear that you loved, and Maria’s macaroni salad was a hit. Once everyone devoured their food, you jumped into the pool, letting the water ease the lingering ache in your bones while your dad and Emily insisted on helping Joel clean up. Before long, everyone else joined you in floating around to kill time before the town’s fireworks show began. The house was perfectly situated to see them from a distance, so you didn’t have to fight the traffic to find parking in town to see the show.

Drinking in the sight of Joel shirtless, swim trunks sitting low on his hips, you licked your lips hungrily. He dove into the deep end of the pool, swimming underwater until he reached you in the shallow end. Popping up next to you, he slicked his wet curls back from his forehead with a grin. Fuck, he was handsome.

“Hey beautiful,” Joel greeted. “Enjoying yourself?”

Smile so broad your cheeks hurt, you nodded. “Today has been wonderful, thank you, Joel. This was exactly what I needed.”

“I’d do anything for you, darlin’. You know that, right?” he implored, pulling you close so that you could wrap your legs around his waist beneath the water’s surface. “I’ve never been so in love before. You have completely changed my world.”

“I could say the same about you, babe.”

“The fireworks are gonna start soon. Watch to watch them from the patio?”

“Sure,” you replied. So caught up in Joel, you didn’t notice everyone watching you both with broad smiles as the two of you climbed out of the pool.

Settling into one of the cushioned outdoor chairs, the soft glow of the string lights from that special date all those months ago glistening on your damp skin. Joel moved his chair closer and sat, holding his right hand out for yours, he grinned when you twined your fingers with his.

Suddenly, Tommy appeared in front of you both, carrying a fresh glass of sangria for you and an ice-cold beer for Joel. “Here you both go.”

“Thanks Tommy,” you said gratefully.

“You ready?” he asked, his dark eyes glowing warmly in the low lighting.

“For the fireworks?” you replied, slightly confused. “You bet!”

Tommy smiled indulgently, sharing a look with Joel before moving to the poolside to help his girlfriend out of the water.

Glancing around at your friends and family, you found everyone watching the two of you. You had the feeling something was up, that there was something you were missing. Before you could dwell on it, the first bursts of light exploded in the sky, the whistling boom echoing distantly.

Mesmerized by the show, oohing and ahhing with everyone, you didn’t see Joel slip from his seat to kneel next to you. As the finale began, he said your name, drawing your attention away from the sky.

An audible gasp left your lips as he gazed at you, love lighting up his tanned features. Your eyes darted around the yard to find everyone watching you instead of the fireworks, Ed snapping away with that fancy camera of his.

“Joel, what—” you began breathlessly before he cut you off.

“Do you remember that song we danced to, right here in the yard, beneath these very lights?” His smooth voice gave no hints of the nervous energy flowing beneath his skin.

You nodded, recalling the memory fondly. “That was a beautiful night.”

“It was, and I hope to have many more just like it with you.” Still kneeling, he reached his left hand into his pocket and your breath hitched. Your heart nearly dropped when you merely pulled his phone out, tapping at the screen until music began to play in the background.

Taking your hands in his, Joel began to sing along, his deep voice the perfect contrast to the artist’s.

“On the day that I met you,

The world had just spit me out.

On my way to the bottom

Sure I’d never be found.

Then you saw me for me

Made me believe in myself.

On the day that I met

It all turned around.”

Tears stung the back of your eyes, but for the first time in weeks, they were tears of happiness, not pain or guilt. You clutched at Joel as he went to pull his right hand free, and he chuckled.

“I fall more in love with you every single day. I don’t know how I ever got to be this lucky, to find someone like you, who fits so perfectly, so seamlessly into mine and Sarah’s lives.”

You finally loosened your grip so he could pull his right hand free, digging into the zippered pocket as you swiped at the tears coursing down your face.

“You are the woman of my dreams, the one I was sure didn’t exist until I met you. If I promise to fall for you over and over again, will you promise to be my wife, to be Sarah’s mom, to love us from now until forever?”

Gazing into his dark, gorgeous eyes, misty with tears of his own, you nodded. “Yes, yes. A million times, yes, Joel. I’d love to be your wife and Sarah’s mom.”

You were sobbing as he beamed, slipping a beautiful, understated princess cut diamond ring on your finger. It fit perfectly and your heart swelled, the love in you threatening to spill over, to burst straight from your chest. “Joel, it’s so beautiful!”

Joel stood, pulling you with him until your feet left the ground and he spun you in a circle once, twice, before setting you down on solid ground. You lurched forward, sealing your love, your promise with a heated kiss.

As if they hadn’t all witnessed every second of what just happened, Joel looked over at everyone and declared, “She said yes!”

The small group of your favorite people made a racket with their whoops and whistles, JB shouting above the rest, “About fuckin’ time, son!”

Unable to contain herself for another second – she had been incredibly patient, after all, letting her dad do the asking instead of her – Sarah burst from Tommy’s grasp, launching herself at you. Joel helped you sweep her up for a tight hug.

“It’s official now, right?” Sarah questioned, nearly vibrating with excitement. “You’re gonna be my mom now. I finally get to have a mom and not just any mom, but you. The best one I could have asked for.”

Just when you thought the tears ebbed away, the waterworks started once again. “Oh, my sweet, perfect girl. I promise to try my best to be worthy of such an honor. I couldn’t have asked for a better girl to go on this adventure with.”

“This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed,” Emily said, her voice catching as tears ran down her cheeks as well.

“Agreed,” Maria chimed in with a sniffle and Tommy pulled her close with a dumb grin spreading across his face. You could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he thought about how he’d propose when the time came.

You and Joel couldn’t keep your hands off each other once Sarah went to bed and everyone left. Your need for each other was too mighty to fight, not that either of you wanted too anyway. He treated you like glass the past six weeks, afraid to hurt you, to aggravate your injuries. You understood, but that didn’t stop the desire, the need for him and it frustrated you that he would not give in. Now that you were mostly healed, you wanted him to make love to you like he used to.

Readying yourselves for bed, you climbed onto the mattress, straddling Joel’s hips where he laid back against the pillows. Half hard already at the mere sight of you naked before him, he grasped your hips to grind your core down on him.

“I need you, my love. I need to feel you inside me. It’s been too long,” your voice a breathy whine against his mouth, your lips touching but not yet kissing. “Let me ride you.”

“Fuck, darlin’,” Joel gasped as you shifted against his now fully hardened cock. “Take what you want, sweetheart.” He watched with lust blown eyes as you slid his sleep pants down his hips, and he kicked them off to lay in a pile at the bottom of the bed.

So wet and needy, you didn’t even need foreplay. Sealing your mouth to his, you swallowed his groan as you slid down on his cock. Pausing for a moment once he was balls deep inside you, fingers threaded through his luscious curls, you sighed in contentment.

“I feel so fucking full, Joel,” you moaned, finally starting to move. “I’ve missed this so much.”

Joel gazed at you, completely enraptured and unable to speak. The words stuck in his throat, he just watched you move on him, his hips shifting upwards to meet your movements. It felt so good he knew he wouldn’t last long, shifting his hand between you to pluck at your clit as you rode him.

“Come for me, darlin’. I need to feel you come apart around me,” the words burst from deep in his chest, dripping with need as he got closer to the edge. Thumb moving frantically against your clit in that way that drove you crazy, he made you come apart within minutes.

“Fuck, Joel!” you gasped, burying your face in his shoulder, biting down on the flesh to stifle your moans. Waves of pleasure washed over you so strong you couldn’t move your hips anymore. Joel took over, thrusting up into you, drawing out your orgasm as your walls fluttered around him.

You sunk your teeth further into the meat of his trapezius, the shock of pain like a bolt of lightning straight to his cock. His movements grew sloppy as his balls tightened and he came with a guttural growl, sucking at your neck as rope after rope of cum splashed inside you.

Breathless and satiated, you stayed in place, allowing the aftershocks to roll through you both. You brought your hands up to cup his face, the patchy scruff of his beard tickling your palms. The diamond ring on your left hand sparkled in the dim lighting and you grinned down at Joel, so full of love.

He pulled you down to lay with him, his softening cock slipped out of you in the process, and you both ignored the mess as you cuddled together.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” You felt the words rumble from deep in his chest as he spoke them, pulling you impossibly closer until your sweaty skin melded to his. “I fuckin’ love you, darlin.”

Smiling sleepily, you murmured your love for him, your excitement over being engaged, the beauty of the ring he chose for you, until you fell asleep mid-sentence.

Your dreams were no match for the life you and Joel were creating together.

Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx

@pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @tammythr

@lulawantmula @islacharlotte @allyourfavesinoneblog @lover-of-books-and-tea @pedropascalsbbg

@ashleyfilm @brittmb115 @lilmizmoz @loveisacowboyyy @shotgun-shelby

@deninoe @casssiopeia @caitlynsixxx @skysmiller @missladym1981

@marirxse @lizzie-cakes @tynakub @subconsciouscollapse @babygabe @cuteanimalmama

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Hey urm sorry if this is weird but could you maybe do like reader is cliff’s sister and shes like playing bass and she like sounds like him and then like one of the metallica boys (idk whoHELP) like hears it and starts like remembering Cliff and starts like complimenting the reader

idk im sorry if thats weird idk i just had a dream about it and i thought it was cute😭😭

A/n: totally didn’t cry while writing this HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME WRITE THIS

Warnings: slight angst, Cliffs dead, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Part 2

It was like this curse that followed the family, first Scott died, to carry on his memory Cliff decided he'd be the best bassist around and you wanted to work on that with him, then Cliff died.

It had been a year since the accident, you hadn't touched your bass since that night you got the call. You slept in Cliff's room, where all the instruments, memorabilia, where everything was, it was your room now but you never called it that because you never moved your stuff into there.

Everything would stay the same, it was Cliff's room, but you couldn't sleep in your own room.

It was Cliff's birthday, what would have been his twenty-fifth. It was nearly 5:00 pm and you hadn't gotten out of bed yet. Your dad came in to check on you every hour or so, you never said a word and he understood why.

Cliff's bass was right across the room, sitting in it's stand. A thin layer of dust covered it, the last week you'd been trying to pretend like everything was ok but it wasn't, you stopped dusting off his things.

People would be coming over soon and you'd have to go down for a dinner party to remember Cliff. It made you furious. that's not what he would've wanted. Only, it was. It was exactly what he would have wanted, not because he wanted everyone to spend the day remembering him but because he wanted everyone to have fun and have a big dinner.

Without really knowing why you got up and picked up Cliff's bass, plugging it in and sitting down on the hardwood floor. You tuned it and just started playing.

James was the first to arrive, he'd been helping your parents with food and setting the table when he heard your playing. Your parents heard it too and couldn't stop smiling, James was close to tears and excused himself.

He walked down the hall, heading for the bathroom but he stopped just outside of Cliff's room. He assumed the playing would be coming from your room but when he heard it through the door he froze.

He didn't knock, just slowing opened the door and peaked in to find you sitting on the floor, tears streaming down your cheeks, all snot-nosed and choking back sobs while you played through For Whom The Bell Tolls.

James stepped into the room and closed the door behind himself. He walked over to you and sat down, throwing an arm over your shoulders and pulling you to his side. Your playing got messy and soon you were just sobbing against him as he held you, his own tears rolling down his cheeks.

James took the bass away from you, setting it on the ground before you slapped him. "What the fuck's wrong with you?" You demanded as he held the side of his face, cheek stinging. You took the bass from him and put it back where it was supposed to be.

"I'm sorry." He said, voice soft and weak. "I-I didn't mean to, I just..." He trailed off, thinking of words but there were none the find. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his lap, wrapping himself around you like you were the last bit of Cliff on this earth and he had to keep you safe. "You sound just like him." He mumbled, burying his face in your hair.

Dinner was gonna be ready soon but you weren't hungry, if you ate anything you'd just throw it up later. James didn't want to move, if he moved he was going to the nearest bar and drowning his sorrows, hell, he'd never leave.

So you stayed. Your dad came in to check on you but left when he saw you both crying. He wasn't going to get an answer so he didn't even bother and just left you two alone.

James started chuckling. It was broken and sad but it carried that element of stupid you missed hearing. You didn't laugh much anymore, not through September anyway, it was nice to hear even if it didn't sound quite right.

"What?" You asked, wiping your eyes and looking back at him over your shoulder.

He shook his head. "Cliff would kill me if he knew I was holding you like this." You were sitting in his lap in pyjama shorts and one of Cliff's old shirts -you never washed them but you didn't wear them all too frequently, only when you needed to feel closer to him. Your back was pressed against his chest and his arms were wrapped tight around your torso, clinging to you as if you'd vanish the second he let go.

You exhaled, smiling softly at the bass in front of you. "No he won't" You said. "He trusts you." You said.

James waited a moment before turning you to face him more. "You shouldn't do that, you know."

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you looked at him. "Do what?"

"Talk about him like he's still here." He said. It was a hard thing to say, he knew it was harder to hear but it had to be said. "You talk about him in present tense."

You looked back to the bass and gave a small, slow nod. "I-I don't want to let go of him." Your voice cracked as you spoke.

James nodded in understanding. "You don't have to let him go, I'm not, I'm never gonna let go of him. But you have to move on with your life, it's what he would've wanted." A long, heavy silence settled over the both of you.

"Fuck you." You grumbled. He was right, you knew it, but you needed to yell at someone. "Fuck you, you didn't know him like I knew him." James knew then he'd done something wrong, but he didn't budge. He tightened his hold on you, not wanting you to leave still, he didn't know what you'd do if he let go and he wasn't willing to find out.

"He was my bassist, my bandmate, one of my bestfriends."

"He was my last brother!" You yelled, tears filling your eyes once more. "I don't get another, you have another bassist, I don't get another brother!" It came out like the floodgates had burst, James didn't flinch. You needed this and if there was going to be someone to take it at face value it would be him, he knew he could take it and he knew nothing bad would happen if you took it out on him.

By the end of it you were sobbing and shaking in his arms, your dad was coming in every few minutes, other family members tried to help but James told them to leave, you didn't want them there, they couldn't fix anything.

James lifted you up and carried you to the bed, getting you under the covers and crawling in with you, letting you curl up to him while you cried, surrounded by Cliff.

People started leaving, it was around midnight. James didn't plan on moving, though your crying had calmed down. It wouldn't stop, not for a while, but it calmed down, now you were just sniffling and wiping your nose on his shirt.

"You can go to sleep, you know." He said, looking down at you while you stared at the bass across the room. He saw where you were looking and brought his hand to the side of your face, tilting your head up to look at him. He didn't say anything, couldn't think of anything to say, so instead he just kissed you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James cannot look normal it is confirmed

[spoonfulofmilo]

Could you do fic for Toto Wolff with wife reader? He opted to hold her hand during the celebration of the Merc's double podium because there were too many people. "Move through the crowd while holding hands so as to not lose one another – and not letting go afterwards". Just something fluff and comfort. Add something if it's not right. Tag me later!! Thanks :)))

sorry it's so short! but I loved writing this fluff, and honestly churned it out in like 1 hour.

also if you have older requests i am working on them, I am just also working on school work.

luckily, all my assessments are nearly done, and holidays are next week so yay! more updates :)

my masterlist can be accessed here

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

toto wolff x wife!reader

“AND THAT IS A MERCEDES 1-2 TO THROW THIS CHAMPIONSHIP WIDE OPEN AT THE SAUDI ARABIAN GRAND PRIX AND 3 YEARS AFTER WINNING HIS LAST GRAND PRIX HERE, LEWIS HAMILTON HAS WON HIS 104TH CAREER VICTORY AND WHAT A WAY TO DO IT IN HIS LAST SEASON WITH MERCEDES.”

The rest of Crofty’s speech was drowned out by the cheers of the garage around Y/N as the team who had gone so long without winning, especially Lewis’ side of the garage cheered and yelled and as the pit mechanics came back from where they’d been on the fence yelling and contributed to more noise.

Y/N felt a little overwhelmed. She hadn’t really been in the garage since 2021, due to her husband’s tensions during the year and her wish to continue to just focus on her own career. She tried to insist she was the team’s bad luck charm after Abu Dhabi, until people had pointed out that she’d also been there during the dominant 2020 season. And as she had spent 2022 and 2023, which also were not great years for Mercedes, she’d agreed to do a lot more of her work remotely and come to the grand prixs. She insisted that she was bad luck at the first grand prix, and Toto had basically dragged her along to Saudi.

Maybe she was their good luck charm, she thought, as the garage exploded when Max and Sergio had crashed into each other, making both the red bulls retire. The Ferrari’s had been having problems all weekend but no one truly hoped even when they were sitting in a 1-2.

At least until they’d crossed the line. And then they’d had hope. And then the celebrations had begun. Someone had already found champagne and begun spraying it around, no one thinking about the podium, until all of a sudden everyone was and they were all rushing around and Y/N was all caught up in the rush and being pushed around by everyone, trying to find Toto until she felt a hand slip into hers.

She jumped back, not wanting some strange man holding her hand until she looked up and realised that it was in fact her husband who was trying to hold her hand.

“Sorry…didn’t realise it was you.”

“That’s okay Liebe. I’ve got you. Now lets go watch Lewis on the podium, okay?”

The second she nodded in agreement, Toto slipped his hand back into Y/N’s as he tried to push through the crowd again. Being tall and the team principal helped, and as they weren't coming for the pre podium celebrations, which is where everyone else was rushing towards. As the drivers were hugged and yelled at again by the mechanics (honestly how were they going to have voices tomorrow, and how were the red bull mechanics’ voices not very raspy after doing this practically every week for the past few years). Y/N thought she was going to have to cancel her meetings for the next few weeks as she would just be unable to talk.

Toto pushed through the throng of mechanics, pushing through the Mercedes and Williams colours everywhere, trying to get a good position at the front, and then the announcers began, and Toto and Y/N were wedged against the barrier and they decided to stop and watch the podium.

Y/N watched as Albon mounted the podium, grinning to the feral screams of the Williams mechanics to her left. She’d ended up wedged between James and Toto, smiling at James’ excitement on Alex being on the podium. She smiled at him as the noise from the Williams side of the podium celebration. He smiled back, almost bouncing up and down by the excitement of what Williams was achieving. And as Lewis, George and Bono bounded onto the podium, bringing up a round of screaming and even Y/N raised her hands. And as she raised her right hand, she could feel Toto’s hand, still intertwined with hers. She smiled, locking eyes with Toto.

His eyes twinkled as he smiled down, before his attention was brought back to the podium and yelling at the drivers.

The German and British anthems blared out, and while Y/N knew most of the words of the British anthem (it was mostly just the same words on repeat ‘god save our king’). And while Toto was able to sing the German anthem while Y/N butchered it here and there. She loved listening to her husband singing or talking in his natural language. It was very hot, if Y/N had to admit it.

As they left the podium to go back to the garage, Toto had still not let go of her hand as they continued winding between what felt like millions of people crowding the pit lane.

When they finally returned to the Mercedes garage, and walked up to Toto’s office, Toto finally let go of Y/N’s hand and started to gather up his work and laptop to get ready to return to the hotel.

“Hey, toto?”

“Yes liebe?”

“Why were you holding my hand?”

“Well, I didn’t want to get lost, and I didn’t want you to get lost, liebe.”

“Yeah, but why didn’t you let go of my hand when we got to the podium”

“Do I need an excuse to hold your hand, darling?”

“No but…”

“Then I kept holding your hand because I wanted to keep holding your hand. Is that a good enough excuse?”

“Okay Liebe.”

Toto put all his files and laptop in his left hand after shrugging on his overcoat, and then offered his right hand to Y/N.

“Can I keep holding your hand liebe?”

“Of course you can darling.”

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @pear-1206, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3

[bubbleddisasters]

Stupid Shit I’ve done/Gotten myself into by accident/been dragged into as Twisted Wonderland Characters:

—————-

Ace : Heard my sister screaming bloody murder downstairs and didn’t do shit because I assumed she was watching a horror movie. Turns out there was a fire in the oven.

Bonus: Sniped my friend in the eye from across the Cafeteria with a Ketchup Packet, Meant to hit his glasses, but he repositioned them at the last second.

Deuce: Answered Maine four times on a Historical Geography test and was wrong all four times.

Cater: Threw my phone out of the window in a panic after seeing one of my Idols followed me back.

Bonus : Accidentally convinced a transfer camper from Wales I was from London after I quoted something in the accent to myself in the showers and was too awkward to tell them I wasn’t when they struck up the conversation.

(I am from America, and the camp is in America.)

Trey: Accidentally created a puddle of Dark Red Icing and Stepped in it four times in a row while making a cake at 2 am.

Bonus : Befriended and helped out the owner of a French Bakery down the street when they started out, they ended up becoming really popular (rightfully so, her stuff is amazing) and now I either get free shit and/or Friends and Family Discounts.

Riddle : I have read the dictionary on multiple occasions out of sheer boredom.

Bonus: I once read the bible and marked down verses. Im not religious I just needed to win an argument.

Leona: Slept through an earthquake and 3 ambulances coming to my house bcs my sister was hurt.

Ruggie: Waited for families going inside to pass by and asked them to hold the door for me so I could sneak into a VIP rooms for free food. (Usually only at fancy hotels but luckily this strategy is flexible when your 5’2 with a baby face.)

Jack: Used to Smash open large rocks containing Crystals or Quartz at the beach as a kid, and now I have a large collection of them.

Bonus: I have extremely good hearing, to the point I hear into the negative decibels up to -15 - -20 (according to the audiologist this is rare but i literally don’t know shit about audio and decibels) so my old dormmates used to try and bribe me to tell them what I heard about certain things or themselves.

Bonus 2: Almost got shot by an illegal hunter while in the woods with my sister.

Floyd : Cracked my skull open at the pool, lost consciousness for a few seconds and woke up in the water calling for help, then got confused on why I was calling for help.

Bonus : A Sea lion once came up to me while I was scuba diving and did little circles, bumped its snout on my mask and just followed me the whole time in a very gleeful manner as a temporary homie.

Bonus 2: Apparently ate / took bites of my moms library books as a little kid (????) according to the librarian.

Jade: Taught myself to untie my hands with my hands behind my back, tie by hands behind my back with my hands behind my back, deciphered, translated and memorized a fictional hieroglyphic language, Read from Act 1 to Act 6 of Homestuck, and accidentally discovered how to disguise Chocolate Ice Cream as Pistachio; all within the span of 2 weeks. (I had covid and was A-Symptomatic)

Bonus : Lived in the Woods for 7 months (in total), had a large bag of mica and Almost Drowned in a tent when there was no moving water nor rain. (Basically, I was asleep, Woke up underwater, nearly went back to bed, then shot out of my tent screaming “My Tent Titanticed!” )

(It was like 3 am don’t judge me)

Azul: Somehow ended up with $2200 dollars in $100s in Monopoly at the end of the game. Also have been stuck between two identical twins while talking with both and boi that shits TRIPPY. (I also almost died with them later but it was fine)

Bonus: I lived on a middle of fuck knows where island during the spring and summer up until covid, yet I absolutely despise eating fish or Shellfish, and the smell often makes me nauseous.

(Bonus 2: I love shiny things, but very specifically fancy looking keys. I also had a weird obsession with signing a shiny contract after watching Ariel. Another tiny thing Is I own a Flotsam and Jetsam Scarf which I chuck around when Floyd or Jade pisses me off ingame.)

Kalim : Got distracted by a cool leaf while at a fancy resort in Xatapa, Mexico, and waddled off from my parents and explored around to try and find more, somehow managed to get extremely far and ended up lost in a whole different city for 6 hours while trying to find my way back.

Bonus 1: I had an obsession with Kiwis for awhile as a kid, and our neighbors house had a Pangium tree that reached over to our yard. (It was planted before either families moved in so we didn’t know) I thought it was some kind of strange Kiwi and ate one. I didn’t like it and was like “Oh maybe its not ripe” and waited 3-5 months then tried it again, same reaction, repeat process one more time.

I went to my parents out of curiosity and asked them what it was, and so after some process I am unaware of but I think my mom brought one of the fruits somewhere, we discovered what it was.

Pangium contains Fatal amounts of Cyanide if not properly prepared. I was fine but for the love of anything please don’t try eating it like little me did.

Bonus 2: I’ve Almost died more times than I can count on both hands and feet. Im not an heir or something fancy I just have wackass luck.

Jamil: Once had to talk my sister out of jumping off a tour boat because our cousin dared her to.

Bonus : Managed to make French Toast in the middle of the woods with Dehydrated Milk, Cinnamon, Three Eggs I stole, and a loaf of bread we got once a month. Also made 3 kinds marinated chicken in the middle of the woods.

(My Cooking Style is literally “just trust me bro.” I’m like Lilia except it actually works and is edible)

Epel : Whenever we went applepicking at my Grandfathers house, I’d climb into the trees and throw or pass the apples down. Sometimes I actually wish I could sit in trees more often shits comfy.

Bonus: My Mom was a Champion Horseback Rider as a kid, and sometimes took us to this Ranch I shall not name for my own privacy, but I’d run around with this group of kids and this one herding dog like a damn movie protagonist, sometimes go riding horses, or the one time we stole a tractor and near crashed it (THE REGRETS I STILL HAVE-) etc.

The WHIPLASH from that to going back to a whitewashed Northeast suburban town is insane.

Rook: My Cousins and I, and sometimes the kids at the priorly mentioned ranch, would play the most intense games of manhunt (basically really intense hide n seek at night) ,

I mean wearing camo if you had it, alliances, little dollar store walkie-talkies, code words, binoculars, climbing in trees or hiding in bushes/tall grasses/Hay to “scout”.

I hid in a large pot/vase more than once and another time on a roof, and (ONLY ONCE, DO NOT DO THIS IM STUPID) under a car.

I still remain the top in last man standing points. Mostly bcs I’m stingy with rescues but shhh

Vil - Accidentally poured a lot of liquid eyeliner into my eye, was literally crying out Eyeliner for 30 minutes. Also taught myself to run and jump in heels as a kid because I thought it looked cool in movies.

Ortho : Unknowingly was Hacking my Elementary School Databank for several years,

I genuinely thought it was normal to go on the school website, press a few buttons and be able to find a friends address if I had a playdate and needed to tell my mom where the house was, a parents phone number if needed communication with my friends parents , and mostly ignored the other general info.

I didn’t even know I did this until my dad told me a few months ago that I almost got suspended for it but by the time they found out it was the end of my last year there. ;—;

Edit: I feel I should elaborate that my dad had somewhat recently told me that I almost got suspended for that in elementary school, but all that happened 5 YEARS ago. Hence why I was so surprised because I was never told back then.

Idia: Accidentally acquired both a Nahida and Eula in Genshin and was genuinely annoyed at the time, they are now my most powerful DPS’s…

Bonus : I own a shit ton of original Japanese first edition Pokemon Cards my cousin gave me, (they are probably worth more than me which is neat), and I have a giant pile of Pokemon plushies I have infact fallen asleep on or in on multiple occasions.

Bonus 2: I was playing Breath of the Wild, and my very first thing I did after getting off the plateau was beeline for the castle. I actually got all the way up and took out 2 blights but the Wind one kicked my ass.

Bonus 3: Got confessed to and asked out by a guy I did not like nor knew very well, and I panicked, said “Maybe, Sorry no.” And ran into a wall. Also have crawled through a chute to avoid an awkward situation as a kid (do not recommend its dusty and definitely not safe)

Bonus 4: Once didn’t sleep for 5 days.

Malleus : Accidentally attended a Private Party and a Private Funeral in the same week. I was not invited nor knew anyone present. Stayed there for most of it because I was too nervous to say I wasn’t supposed to be there. Whoop.

Bonus: Got nicknamed the “Trip Curse.” By my Old Dormmates because everytime I went on a trip with them everything seemed to go to shit or get hella chaotic.

Bonus 2: Another camping one: Once woke up at night with a shit ton of fireflies just chilling in my tent. It was serene but also I genuinely thought I was hallucinating for a few minutes.

Lilia: Literally will hang upside down anywhere I can, its so fun bro.

Bonus : I know an extremely large amount of useless historical information, and once genuinely realized I know more about poison than what flour and eggs are used for in baking.

Silver : Once befriended a wild horse ( Im like 90% sure he was a Chestnut).

I called him Clover the Dog like horse because he was honestly just a golden retriever in the body of a horse.

This is great and theres alot of sweet moments, but then theres the times you have a giant horse galloping full speed at you for attention or trying to nudge you affectionately and nearly pushing you into a creek in the process.

Sebek: Got groundstruck by lightning once. Also I am often told I have a loud voice.

Che’nya : a good friend of mine and I have an inside joke at school where if we see eachother through a window (my school has alot of indoor windows for some reason?), we’ll text the other “Behind you.” Or “To your left.”

——————-

Theres more things I can think of but I have run out of characters and this is getting too long, so ye!

[shotgunbunny]

Anon who asked if you take requests here, i wanted to ask you if you could write a third part to lumberjack!ari because he doesnt want to leave my mind 😩 i read both fics yesterday and ive been thinking about him non-stop. If you want and can could you write a third part where he got his little wife pregnant, her period is late but doesnt wanna get him excited for nothing so she goes by herself in town to buy a pregnancy test. He finds out and goes home mad, ready to punish her but once he gets there and sees the positive pregnancy test all his anger goes away and all he does is kiss her and praise her for being such a good wife who will soon give him a baby

༻𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬༺

WC:3.1k+ GIF by evansensations

{soft!dark!lumberjack!Ari x pregnant!reader}

{Warnings!! Soft!dark!Ari!! Ari being possessive!! Mentions of sex!! Mentions of abortion but like just the word!! Being pregnant!! Morning sickness!!}

Like real people do {part 1}

Eyes always seeking {part 2}

Ari was much softer after that night in the hot tub. From his glaces at you to how he held you. It was as if he was trying to apologize for how rough he could be through his gentle affection. And you were loving every second of it. It was such a change from his usual character. You were used to sharp glares and steeled looks and now when he looked at you, you saw adoration swirl in his blue eyes and a smile on his face. His hands that once held you so firm, now cradled your waist as he burried his face in the crook of your neck to drink your scent in and leave gentle kisses.

You had no idea why he had changed but you couldn't bring yourself to complain as you adored bathing in his love. Everyday after work you would make dinner and he would eat every bite with a peaceful smile on his face. Followed by him asking for dessert which always resulted in you on the kitchen table with your skirt of dress pulled up and Ari feasting on your pussy until you coated his beard with your essence. He devoured you everytime and would ask for a kiss in return. Loving Ari got easier by the day, and he couldn't help but let himself drown in your love.

Ari had changed after that night due to the overwhelming love he had for you. You accepted his gift and thanked him endlessly making his ego sky rocket. He knew that it was a gateway for an attempt to escape yet you never even tried, the thought had never crossed your mind. The fact that you had never even thought about running away from Ari made him soft. You wanted him just as much as he needed you. Being so gentle with you was so simple and easy that he fell into it. He loved holding you so closely and ghosting his lips across your neck. It was as if the final jigsaw piece finally slipped into place and Ari felt complete.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

It had been a month since that night and Ari had made love to you nearly every night whispering sweet nothings to you while he wrapped his arms around you and showered you in his love. Every moment was perfect in the Levinson household now that things had changed and Ari had opened his heart to you fully.

You remember when you were laid across his chest listening to his heart beat, your head rising with his breathing. Your hand was interlaced with his after a night of love making. You stared up at him, mapping out his beauty so that you could forever remember his glory and write about it in a poem one day. He glanced down at you before holding your gaze. He raised an eyebrow at you, and you giggled making his heart beat faster causing you to blush.

"What are you looking at, little love?" He said it so softly yet his chest still rumbled almost like a purr. You kiss his chin and he hummed producing the purring noise again. "You. You're so pretty Ari. Thank you for giving me your heart." His ears turned red and he smiled so gently. He brought your joined hands up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles and brought them back to lay on the bed. "Pretty? I've never been called pretty, but I'm glad you find me so appealing little wifey," a beat passed and his arms tightened around your waist. "Thank you for giving me your heart first little wifey. It's my most treasured item."

You blushed and giggled, everything he said was like poetry and it made butterflies errupt in your stomach. "I promise to protect your heart forever my handsome husband." Ari grunted, his eyebrows knitting together causing him to frown. Your heart sped up and you couldn't help but fear you had said something wrong when he suddenly kissed your forehead. You looked up at him and spoke it a hushed voice almost as if telling you a secret. "You shouldn't protect my heart, my love. That's my job. I'll defend every bone in your body, I'll protect your heart and soul, and I'll always keep you safe." And just like that you fell further in love with him.

You cherished that memory so dearly, yet the next morning wasn't as romantic. You awoke feeling so ill and ran to the toilet, you were as quiet as possible as you left the bed yet Ari immediately felt you leave and his heart raced. He heard the sound of you heaving in the toilet and quicky approached. He stared, worry swirling in his iris's as he saw you with your head in the toilet bowl. He walked over slowly and caressed your back, before gathering your hair out of your face.

When you were done, you groaned and felt Ari's hands leave you before you registered him returning with a glass of water and some medicine, you smiled up at him and thanked him.

That should have been your first sign but you assumed it was the new takeout that Ari had brought you last night, and he assumed so too. When you threw up the next morning Ari remained asleep. And it kept continuing, you'd get up and be sick while Ari slept peacefully. You hated it so much, throwing up nearly every morning was causing your mood to change to fast that Ari didn't know what to do. He assumed that it was your period yet didn't mention it as he was scared of offending you or upsetting you.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

You had woken up to empty you stomach again, early in the morning. You flushed it away and brushed your teeth, trying to think of what could be wrong with you. You spat out the remnants and rinsed your mouth with water before heading back to bed. You cuddled up to the sleeping bed, needing his heat after running out of it and into the cold. You decided to keep your ill episodes secret, you didn't want Ari to change how he was with you. Logically you knew he would take care of you and make sure you were okay, but the otherside feared he saw you as a sick wife he didn't want.

You sighed and stroked a lock of his hair out of his face before heading to sleep too. You were awoken an hour later by Ari's soft lips pressing on your forehead and a whisper of 'I love you.' before he headed off to work. You hummed and cuddled closer to Ari's side, breathing his scent in. You relaxed and fell back to sleep, dreaming of Ari and him building a treehouse.

You slowly awoke again, much later in the morning and yawned. You reflected on your dream and smiled, Ari as a dad would be so perfect. One day you'd have your own but for now you were happy hogging all of his attention. You knitted your brows together. Thinking of pregnancy sent your mind racing until it lingered on the big question: When was the last time you had your period? You gulped. It must be late.

Yet the more you thought about it the more things made sense. Your increases sex drive which Ari was thriving off. The sickness you were enduring every morning. Even how your eating habits had changed. Your heart raced. You needed to settle your mind, with a determined huff you dragged yourself out of bed and remade your bed. You decided you needed to go to town and get a pregnancy test.

You put panties and sighed remembering how they felt. You hadn't worn any in such a long time because Ari often claimed he wanted easy access to his wife. You chose to wear a simple dress and glanced outside. It was sunny, so you'd skip the jacket. You smiled, you hadn't been to town in such a long time. You decided to do a bit of glam, and decided to do a cute look so that you didn't look overdone, but you definitely looked pretty. You grabbed your bag and stuffed your phone and purse in, before heading down the stairs.

You slid your shoes, you hadn't worn them in a while either. Ari hadn't let you leave the house, but why would you want to leave, everything was so beautiful here. And Ari had made so much of the furniture that you often marvelled at it. You grabbed the pair of keys that dangled on the side and headed out and locked the door. You decided to call an Uber to get into town. You smiled, maybe you'd go and see friends. You shut that thought down quickly remembering how Ari had told you what they were really like. You were so grateful for a man like him, he took such good care of you.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you saw your Uber pull up. You checked that the door was locked and headed into town.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

Ari wiped the sweat from his brows after delivering another blow to the tree he was currently chopping down. He felt his phone buzz and he groaned before he pulled it out. He saw a text from his friend Richard, his heart started racing. Richard had agreed to help keep an eye on you, especially if you decided to wander.Suddenly all the heat he was feeling from the sun and his work disappeared, as he felt ice settle into his blood. There on his phone was a crisp picture of you in town.

His jaw tightened and his eyes fired up with rage. How could he be so stupid as to let his guard down. Ofcourse you'd wander, you're so curious about the world. He'd chain you down when he got you home. That was for certain, he'd teach you a lesson on trying to leave him. He dislodged his axe from the tree and threw it at the ground in a fit of rage before he stormed off to his truck and yanked the door open. He got it and slammed the door shut before speeding off home.

He'd wait for you at home, so you could do your walk of shame and give your shitty excuse as to why you'd even dare leave the sanctuary he had created for you. He parked his truck before unlocking the door. He practically kicked it open and closed. He stomped to the living room and sat brooding allowing dark cloud to linger over him and rain dark thoughts into his mind. He crossed his arms across his chest and he let out an angered huff. He'd wait for you.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

You were browsing the aisles with a shy look on your face. You kept your eyes down until you reached the feminine health section. You looked around and strolled past the pads and tampons, you swallowed. What if it was just a late period and you were over reacting? You sighed it was better to be absolutely certain rather than letting your mind torment you. You looked at the variety of tests. There were so many options. Your eyes glanced until you saw the named brands and you decided to grab 2 to be absolutely sure.

You headed to the self checkout with the clutched in your fist and scanned them both before pulling out your cash. You never remember having cash in your purse, maybe Ari put it in there. Your heart fluttered at his selflessness. He was such a good husband. Although you haven't had a proper ceremony yet, he did manage to get you both married with the forms. You cried tears of joy that day, you were officially Mrs. Levinson. But you couldn't help but ache for a beautiful church ceremony, and Ari had promised that soon he would grant your wish.

You put the tests in your bag as well as the receipt before heading out and ordering and Uber back home again. Your heart was speeding up at the possibilities and soon your hands began to shake both out of fear and excitement. Your Uber pulled up shortly and you began your journey back after a short trip into town. No one had really noticed you or cared.

And that was all thanks to Ari and his subtle threats at town meetings. How he had staked his claim on you in front of all the folks. How he had waved your certificate of marriage in all their faces and then told them if they wanted to keep their houses warm and their buildings etc. Then they'd obey his rules when it came to you. Ofcourse you were oblivious to him manipulating the whole town, and believed his every word when he claimed that they didn't care about you except him.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

You got out of the Uber and immediately noted Ari's truck parked outside. You were trembling, did he know? You had no other option but to bite the bullet. You sucked a breath in and slowly headed towards the door and opened it. You slid your shoes off and hung the spare key up. You turned around and jumped at the enraged look in Ari's eyes. Your eyes immediately filled with tears and before he could even utter anything mean out you babbled out, "I'm sorry! I don't know! But if I am we- we can have an abortion or something!"

Ari stopped functioning. His eyes went blank and his mouth went agape. He stared at you and your timid stance. Your eyes filled with tears and your bottom lip wobbling. You stared at him begging, pleading for any sign from him. Yet he was too busy in a loop of thoughts.

'Abortion.' That's all that echoed in his head. They are linked with pregnancies. And that would mean that you're pregnant. But that's impossible because you had your period. However Ari had been presumptions about it and when he thought you were, you had sex and there was no blood. Over and over his thoughts looped. His mind flashing with possibilities when he heard you voice sad and soft breaking him out of the inner discussion in his brain.

"I-I don't know if I am. I don't wanna get our hopes up." Ari immediately bundled you in his arms keeping you close. You weren't leaving him. You were potentially having his child. He felt his heart grow ten sizes, he pulled away and looked down, a stern look still planted on his face. "Why were you in town?" You gulped and reached into the bag pulling out the two pregnancy tests. Ari's eyes widened. His heart started racing suddenly coming to terms with the fact that he could potentially have gotten you pregnant. He might be a dad.

He gulped and looked down at you, "Have you taken them yet?" His voice was a whisper and you glared up at him. He was just too happy over what might be happening to realise how silly his question is. "They're still in the box. So no I haven't." You snapped at him. Ari felt more puzzle pieces connect. Your change of mood, the strange food you started eating. He stared down at you. "What are you waiting for? Take them."

You both ran upstairs, you went into the bathroom and Ari stood outside pacing, stroking his beard feeling every second drag on way longer than it should have. You came out and looked at him. "It takes about 2 minutes. I've left them on the side." Ari drew his eyebrows together before he headed towards you and gathered you in his arms. "Listen baby, all the sign point towards yes. But don't worry too much about my reaction okay. I'm happy if you're pregnant or not. All that matters is that you are okay and healthy." You stared up at him and nuzzled into his chest.

You felt safe, you felt loved. You both stood there embracing the moment not knowing what to do or how to act. You just simply stayed in each others arms where you knew it was safe and loving. Where nothing bad could attack, and nothing cruel could hurt you. In that moment you were just Mr and Mrs Levinson. And that's all that mattered.

When you pulled away, it had been way over 2 minutes. Ari looked down at you. You half smiled before heading into the bathroom and letting out a sigh. You looked down at both tests and tears gathered in your eyes. Ari felt his heart race at your watery eyes. You turned to him with a massive grin on your face holding both the tests. "I'm pregnant!" Ari had never moved so fast. He scooped you up in his arms.

He felt tears gather in his eyes. You were pregnant with his child. He was going to be a dad. He finally had a family. "You're pregnant baby!" You giggled wiping your tears and wrapping your arms around his shoulders hugging him tightly. He pulled back and placed his forehead against yours. "We're going to have a baby!" He whispered it so excitedly that you giggled. He put you down gently and you stared up at him seeing nothing but love reflecting in his eyes.

"We're gonna have a baby! You're gonna be a daddy!" Ari immediately began to smother you in kisses, making sure to kiss away all those tears. His anger from earlier melted in seconds, he was glad you went out. He pressed a kiss to your lips. Pulling away and swiping hair behind your ears, "You make so me so fuckin' proud mama. You're gonna have my kid! You're so fuckin' amazing!" You both smiled and laughed.

Ari looked down at you, his eyes returning to concern, "You haven't had morning sickness though?" You looked down shyly before gently saying, "I have. Every morning about an hour before you start work it happens. And I can't wake you because you look so peaceful when you sleep." You pouted. Ari immediately tilted your chin upwards, he stared down at you sternly, "Listen here wifey, I don't care how peaceful I look. You wake me up, you let me help you. It's my job baby. I need to take care of you. Got it?" You nodded and kissed him.

He smiled and his features softened up, upon feeling your lips against his. He was so happy in this moment, he couldn't stop kissing you and holding you. He admired every part of you. Feeling nothing but love fill his bones and his blood. You both stared at each other, drowning in adoration when Ari spoke again, his voice was a murmur and all you could hear was a rumble due to your head on his chest. "You're so perfect wifey, you're giving me a child! God I'm gonna keep you pregnant forever baby, that's a promise."

[amaiaqt]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤミㅤcome back, come homeㅤ⋆ ｡˚ㅤ♡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhow much do they miss you when you're gone ? ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤwanderer, kokomi !

"anonymous order; ...may i request just a tad bit too much with wanderer and kokomi ( im manifesting ) ? — message cut."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤfor a fellow manifester, let's get them !!! ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤthanks for requesting enjoy ! xoxo ♡

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤwarnings : mentioned injury ! ( kokomi )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ｡ﾟ ⊹ㅤwanderer !ㅤ

due to trying to focus on his studies at the akademiya, he often finds himself losing time to spend with you. where instead of melting into your warmth as he drifts off to sleep with you in his arms, he'd end up falling asleep while studying for a long test at his desk. where instead of waking up to you kissing his cheek and cupping his face, he'd be waking up to the pages of his textbook sticking to the sweat on his forehead.

he's not the only busy one in your relationship though, as a matter of fact, you might be the busier one.

from constantly having to deal with wandering fungi in an area you were tasked with clearing, to spewing curses under your breathe while charging into eremite camps under a commission. those fungi infestations aren't just going to fade away by themselves, those damned treasure hoarders won't leave the ancient ruins alone.

you're stuck with taking commissions all around sumeru. and poor kunikuzushi is stuck at his desk, worried sick and repeatedly tapping his foot on the ground and clenching the pen in his hand hard, - he wants to help you on those expeditions so bad. - glaring at the words on his paper as if they read insults to him.

so when nahida stepped into his room one afternoon, while he was studying, and announced your return from another expedition, he stood up from his seat so fast that his chair nearly fell over as he rushed out to finally see you.

"[name] ?" he called out as he turned to last corner before entering the sala, and there you were, seated comfortably on the sofa and blowing lightly on the still steaming tea in your hands. you looked up at him with an equally excited smile and set your cup down before standing up.

"kuni, how i missed —" arms wrapped around your waist and you were pulled into his chest, hearing his heartbeat. "i missed you more, i missed you so much more." he responded to your cut sentence, holding the both of you still for a few minutes.

"the akademiya has been hell, and you were gone on a week-long expedition, i was barely surviving here." you chuckled at your boyfriend's words, humming as the two of you pulled away and sat down, his arms still around your waist.

"sorry for being gone for so long, love. i got lost and ended up in an area i wasn't assigned to, those two last days were me being lost and stranded for a bit." "WHAT ?!" "yeah !" "oh don't act like that's the best thing you could've told me about your trip."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ｡ﾟ ⊹ㅤsangonomiya kokomi !ㅤ

kokomi often finds herself away for long periods of time. be it a need to take a break from social gatherings or drowning herself in plans for the resistance. either way, she considers herself lucky to have such a partner like you.

a partner like you that understands her boundaries and gives her all the time she needs, but knows to check on her as well. a partner like you who considers all her needs. a partner like you who feels meant for her. a partner like you who is just, so patient with her.

she thinks she should teach herself to be as patient as you, because right now, she was fidgeting with her fingers as she waited outside of the medical tent, wanting to tend to your wounds herself.

this afternoon was supposed to be one of those where she waits for you at home, but she couldn't just wait when she was informed that you got injured in the midst of battle. she needed to be there for you, so here she was, waiting outside of the tent as she was told.

"please be patient her excellency, our best on-field doctor is cleaning their wounds." "thank you for taking care of her, general gorou. i just wish i could tend to her myself." gorou frowned in sympathy for the priestess before excusing himself to check on his other troops, giving kokomi the space for her to wait in peace.

soon, the doctor stepped out of the tent, calling for her. "her excellency ?" "here, i am here." "they would like you to come in." and at that signal, kokomi couldn't keep herself together anymore as she rushed into the tent, her eyes finally laying on your bandage littered figure.

"darling !" "sweetheart !" her arms wrapped around you gentle, her cold tears tickling the skin of your collarbone, but you didn't mind as you held her close to you as well. "i'm okay now, see ? i apologize for worrying you my darling. ." you whispered softly into her ear as she hugged you, hiccupping between breathes as her tears still stained your collarbone.

"i missed you so much. i missed you so so much, i was so worried." her voice shook as she sat up, cupping her face as if grounding herself still. "i nearly knocked over a few things when i rushed out after i was informed you were here." you chuckled softly at her concern, taking her hands in yours and kissing each of her knuckles tenderly. "again, i apologize for worrying you, my darling." you spoke again, wiping away the tear stains left on her cheeks as she shook her head with a smile.

"no, don't apologize, i'm just glad to have you here now." she reassured.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ© amaiaqt, 2023 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤdo not plagiarize !

[lifecanbe-bea-utiful]

☆ The Aftermath ☆

(prev. next.)

Pairing: Veronica Sawyer x Heather Chandler (Heathers)

Summary: Veronica and Heather end up in the same diner after the dreadful party

Word count: 2836

Notes: This is my first time publishing any Heathers fanfiction so be nice please 😭 also this is supposed to be Heathers the musical but might take inspo from both so just a warning

“I can't believe this is happening,” Veronica mumbled under her breath. She kicked a rock aggressively before nearly stumbling over. God, how much had she drunk?

In short, the party had been a disaster. Veronica had screwed up. Big time. There was no way she could bounce back after all of that. In fact, just thinking back made her nauseous all over again.

Sighing, she took a deep breath of the crisp, night air, trying to calm down. Despite it being only late September, the night was cold and Veronica wrapped herself in her coat tighter while she mulled over the night in her head. Having to protect Martha from something that was technically Veronica's own fault, Heather turning on her in a bitchy rage, and the stupid, stupid fight she picked. Veronica didn’t know what had happened. Of course Heather could be bitchy, but not usually so harsh - well, not to Veronica. It stung, and hurt Veronica more than she cared to admit. She blocked out the feeling and focused on her anger. After all, anger could be useful, right? Anger is practical. Whatever the mystery feeling (which she refused to believe was disappointment) was, it wasn’t going to be helpful. She kicked another pebble with unneeded force and watched it skitter over the sidewalk, rattling against the near-silent night. It must have been at least 1 am, and she was far away from anywhere in town. Ram lived in one of those fancy, distant houses on the outskirts. It was dark too, much darker than when she’d arrived after getting a lift with…

Heather.

Shit.

Veronica stopped walking and leaned against a tree. She couldn’t exactly walk home - a random, vaguely drunk teenager wandering the streets in the middle of the night was never going to be a good idea - her car was at home, and the idea of going back to beg Heather for a lift made her want to throw up. Again.

Besides, she couldn’t go home like this. If her parents heard her sneak into the house, she was a dead girl walking. The original plan was to go to Heather’s house before, well, shit hit the fan and Veronica managed to toss herself to the bottom of the social hierarchy in seconds.

So what could she do? There was no one she knew in this part of sherwood. Well, there was hardly anyone to know around here. It was practically empty except for a couple of ugly ass houses built in the 50s, the Ram's house, an overnight diner…

An overnight diner. That could actually work. She could spend the whole night - or what was left of it anyways - munching on chilli fries till her mouth tasted better and drinking enough pots of coffee to hopefully drown out her thoughts. No grovelling, no getting yelled at, no getting abducted. Just chilli fries. Yeah, the diner was an option.

Veronica pushed herself upright and walked down the street in a fairly straight line. It was only a short, unsteady walk down a few blocks before she arrived at the diner; then only 9 more minutes before she sat, sipping a black coffee and chewing on what was probably more deep-fryer fat than potato.

The diner was pretty bleak. Excluding her, there was only a few people loitering around: a middle-aged woman in a huge overcoat aggressively biting into a burger, a young-ish guy who looked drunk out of his mind giggling and staring at his cup, a waitress who looked like she wanted to pack it in and head home - not that Veronica blamed her. Pale grey and faded red striped the wall in a feeble attempt to add cheer, but it was still a thousand times better than the party Veronica had left behind.

Sighing, Veronica pulled her purse open and yanked out her diary.

Dear diary,

My life is officially over. I hope they play _ at my funeral. The party was a mess. I left “keggers with kids” only to end up in a nightmare. It was chaos, fucking chaos, and somehow the it only got worse.

Diary, I have ruined my life. At least for high school. Probably longer. All because of the stupid argument with Heather-

Veronica’s pen hovered above the page, her mind drifting elsewhere.

Heather. Ugh.

Everytime Veronica tried to think about Heather Chandler, she couldn’t bring herself to focus on the other girl for too long. Veronica was used to being scared of her. After all, she had known her as only a mythic bitch until the near-end of sophomore year. And she was terrifying now, with the fate of Veronica’s entire social life in her hands, just waiting to be crushed between her manicured fingers. Veronica knew what Heather Chandler was: dangerous, merciless and not someone to screw around with. She didn’t care if she was liked; all she cared about was her position at the top of the food chain.

And she’d fucked Veronica over. Big time.

The funny thing was, Ronnie had been so sure. She’d been convinced there was more to Heather than some rich bitch who was obsessed with red. Heather Chandler was a person, and there’s good in everyone. There had been moments, Veronica was sure; when she’d smiled after winning a match of croquet instead of smirking and simpering like she did at school. Or the small look of disappointment on Heather’s face when she saw her results on a vocab quiz, before it frosted over into a sneer. Even the way her finger tapped subconsciously against the steering wheel of her Porsche whenever ABBA played over the stereo. A few scattered slivers of humanity that you couldn’t capture - there and gone so fast it was hard to be sure if they even happened. Nobody else noticed. But ever since Heather dragged Ronnie to highschool stardom, she had been almost certain that she wasn’t just some cruel Barbie Doll. But, as it turned out, Veronica was wrong. Heather was willing to snap anyone's neck under her stilettos.

Even Veronica’s.

She took another long sip of her coffee, breathing in the earthy smell. The facts were: A) she was dead meat come Monday. B) Heather Chandler almost definitely despised her. C) She had no friends, no options, no chance. D) These fries were delicious.

So Veronica had nothing to do now. Nothing to lose and nowhere to go. How very.

With a quiet grunt of irritation, she placed her pen down and laced her fingers around the mug, drumming her fingers in an inconsistent pattern. If her thoughts didn’t shut up soon, it was going to be a really long night.

– – – –

The loud car horn jerked Veronica awake. The girl startled up, dropping her hand from where it had been pressed into her face. By the time she had recognised the horn, the car’s occupant was already inside the diner.

Veronica heard her voice before she saw her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” To Veronica’s surprise, Heather’s voice was more dumbfounded than angry - although the queen bee’s tone couldn’t have been mistaken for anything other than cold.

With a barely suppressed groan, she turned to face Chandler. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“I always come here after going to parties - not that it’s any of your business.” Heather huffed, glancing around. “What’s that?”

Heather’s eyes narrowed when she caught sight of Veronica’s diary.

Shit.

Veronica quickly snatched the notepad and stuffed it away. For god’s sake, why hadn’t she just done that earlier? She couldn’t have predicted Chandler’s arrival but still, how stupid did she have to be to leave it lying-

“Well?” Heather’s voice was a knife through her thoughts.

“It’s nothing. A notepad to… practise in.” Veronica lied quickly. She had always done her best to hide her diary from Heather, for fear of being mocked. Clearly, writing down all your thoughts and feelings wasn’t exactly something to be considered cool by most people - and it definitely wasn’t seen that way by Heather. The other girl arched her eyebrow, but Veronica ploughed on. “Y’know, to perfect my forgeries and stuff-”

“Don’t screw with me, ‘Ronica.” Heather cut her off. “That’s your handwriting. Which is pretty shit, considering you're good at copying other people’s writing.” Heather unfolded her arms to lean against Veronica’s table, her hard expression slowly morphing into a smirk. “Why? Is it a diary or something? Because I don’t think there’s much point keeping embarrassing secrets from me when you're already dead meat.”

Veronica glowered at her, trying to ignore how terrifying the idea of Chandler flipping through her journal was. “I… It’s none of your damn business Heather.” She was pretty proud of how steady she kept her voice.

Heather scoffed, her tone one of mock hurt. “And here I thought we were friends.”

“You literally told me I was history.”

“On Monday. I’d said you’d be history on Monday.”

Veronica sat back on her seat, avoiding Heather’s gaze. With an eye roll so intense Veronica could practically hear it, Chandler sat down across from Veronica and stole a fry from her bowl. Veronica glared at her. Heather scoffed.

“Don’t give me that wounded look. You can spare a fry. Especially when you owe me an entire pair of shoes.”

“I thought I'd paid for those with my dignity.” Veronica muttered.

“Excuse me, Sawyer?”

“Nothing.”

“I thought as much.” There was a moment's pause. Veronica stared down into her mug, regretting every decision she'd ever made that could have led up to this moment. Heather seemed to notice her less-than-joyful expression and sneered.

“God, ‘Ronica. Why can't you just lighten up?”

“It would be easier to lighten up if you hadn't ruined my social life.” Veronica said through gritted teeth, her eye’s remaining angled down.

Heather paused for a moment - hesitated, almost - before replying to her in her usual, snobbish tone. “That's your own fault. Nobody forced you to side with Martha Dumptr-”

“Dunnstock.”

“Someone’s touchy,”

“Someone doesn’t like your stupid, lousy nickname for her friend,” Veronica countered.

Heather sneered. “Still defending little miss Shamu are we?”

Veronica was done. She looked up to face her scoffed back - I mean, she had nothing left to lose, why should she care what Heather thought of her now? “Yeah, actually. I care about Martha, because most people care about others! Most people aren’t mythic bitches who care more about their scrunchies than actual people. Not everyone’s a mythic bitch, Heather!”

A borderline hurt expression cut across Heather’s expression, but it vanished just as soon as it had appeared, replaced by a glare. “You are dead, Sawyer. Monday morning will arrive and you won’t even exist anymore.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the same position I’ve been in for the past few hours; nothing new here.” Veronica let out a mirthless laugh. “Might as well take the cheap shots now while I still can, right?”

The confidence in her voice felt alien. Maybe she knew for sure there was nothing left for her to lose. Or maybe it was just alcohol. Eh, brave, drunk, stupid, what was the difference?

Heather ran a hand through her long, thick blonde hair, her mouth twisted into an arch of distaste. “Hell, sometimes, you make it easy to hate you,”

“Well, I hate you more. That I can promise.”

The corner of Heather’s lips curled upwards in response to Veronica’s words, looking vaguely impressed by the girl’s nerve.

“You chose to fly with eagles,” false sympathy wrapped around Heather’s words. “Now it’s time to face the consequences, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, well, sue me for giving a damn.” Veronica mumbled. The girl across from her sighed incredulously.

“Why’d you do it, Vee? You said you wanted to be one of us, you wanted to be like me-”

“With you, not like you,”

“-So why’d you throw it all away?” Heather’s expression looked the most genuine Veronica had seen it; there was real confusion

“Because I care about Martha!” Veronica said, incredulous as to how she couldn’t get it. “I should have never written that stupid note in the first place. She’s like my sister-”

“I get that she’s your friend and all, but that was excessive.” Heather’s nose wrinkled.

Veronica thought for a moment. “Well, if you were a kid and you ran into a road, your mom would stop you, right?”

There was a pause. “Uh, yeah, okay. I guess.”

Veronica watched her closely. Weird reaction you got there, Heather. “The point is, it’s like that. She’s important to me, and so be it if I lose my spot in some clique for her.”

The red-clad girl paused. She hardly seemed angry now, more… pensive. Heather didn’t speak for a few beats, then: “You didn’t answer my original question.”

“Huh?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Heather clarified, this time her voice was less cold and more… something else. Something softer.

“Oh. Well, you were going to give me a lift back, but we had the fight seeing as you hate me now-” Heather shot her an odd look, “- I thought it would be best to walk back. Turns out I underestimated just how alienated Ram's house is from the rest of town.”

Heather muttered something that sounded like “what kind of high schooler uses the word alienated?” Veronica ignored her and ploughed on.

“There's no way I'm walking back now. It's too late, and my parents do not need to see me like this. So, I found this place and I'm staying over here.”

Heather stared at her. “Staying over here?”

“Yeah.”

“Overnight?”

“Yep.”

“No bed, just sleeping on the diner table?”

“Uh huh.”

“You-” A myriad of feelings flickered over Heather's face too quickly for Veronica to decipher - it took her long enough to process Heather showing that much emotion anyways - before settling into a hardened, haughty look. “No.”

Veronica blinked. “I uh, well- what?”

Not Veronica’s brightest literary moment, she would admit, but she also had alcohol in her system and Heather's firm response was sort of… baffling.

“No.”

After a sec, the Power of Speech returned to Veronica. “So. you want me to just wander around till morning?”

Heather rolled her eyes. “No, you pillowcase. Sleeping in some shitty diner is pathetic and embarrassing and-”

“What does it matter? None will mean anything in a year's time. Hell, it won't mean anything come Monday! “Nobody at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.” Sound familiar?” Sucking air in through her teeth softly, Veronica chanced a look up at Chandler. Her voice was bitter and she knew it, but there wasn't any point in holding back. “I'm over, Heather. Whether I sleep in a diner or not, I'll still be strung up on a wall on Monday. All. Thanks. To. You.”

Heather huffed, looking sideways. For the first time Veronica had spoken to her - ever - Heather refused to meet her eyes. “Look, I… I’m…”

“You're what?” Veronica cut her off, with no attempt to mask the irritation in her voice. It wouldn't have done anything anyways. Heather must have been really pissed if she was stuttering. She never stuttered; her eloquence cut through the air, sharpened into blades to match her cutting words. If Veronica had riled her up that much, well then-

“If you really don't have anywhere else to go,” Heather spoke through gritted teeth, “you could come… stay over at. My place.”

What!?

“What!?”

“You heard me.” The girl in red replied. Her eyes flicked to Veronica’s and something glazed over them. Something like…

Oh. Oh.

“Holy shit, you're guilty, aren't you? You feel bad!” Veronica nearly laughed.

A sneer rose to Heather’s lips, and she rolled her eyes. “Oh shut up, Vee.”

“No, I won't shut up.” Veronica replied immediately, before lowering her tone slightly. “Is this your way of saying sorry?”

The lack of denial said it all for Veronica. She let out something between a scoff and a breath. “Oh my god-”

“Do you want the offer or not?” Heather cut her off harshly. “If you'd rather be left here alone without any idea of how to get home, then enjoy your little loser fest.”

Veronica thought about it. Could she really consider going over to stay at The Mythic Bitch’s house. That was an awful idea waiting to happen, she would only dog her grave deeper… But still. A warm, clean, safe house sounded incredibly very right now. It was just one night; there was no way she could worsen her current situation in that time. And Heather’s fancy, upper class mansion of a house was the perfect place to crash out.

Veronica was knocked out of her contemplation by the drumming of Heather's fingernails on the aluminium table tops. Heather spoke, “Well?”

Was going along with this the smart thing to do? Probably not. Staying in the same house as the teenage girl who you vomited on earlier the same night didn't really come under smart ideas. And Veronica Sawyer was the sort of person who did the smart thing.

But not tonight.

“Fuck it. I'm in.”

- - - -

Hiiii thank you so much for reading, love you <333 /p I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you could reblog it'd be greatly appreciated (no pressure though! :D) have a great day!

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Things I noticed in the broken tape

What is Amanda holding here? I can't really tell. Also I realized, in the background of this, you can hear the music of the "everything rots" iconic scene and the audio of Amanda saying "I can feel myself... rotting." in the background. But Wooly's "Amanda's" kind of drown it out. And Amanda looks like she's crying here. She seems like a sad child in a scary situation, but she doesn't look like she's afraid of Wooly. We've seen her "afraid" face before... this isn't it. She's sad. And instead of helping her, Wooly is bothering her. Calling her name over and over, drowning out her cry for help.

Then there's the whole sequence of scenes of Amanda and Wooly being merged together... I think this kind of symbolizes how their stuck with each other. When Wooly died he came back. Whether both of them like it or not, they are the only other person they have in this world.

Then there's the flashing images of the door... Idk what that represents but flashing images of doors seem to be a recurring theme. Maybe it's the entrance to their world? Or the exit? *shrugs*

Now this next thing I will admit I completely didn't notice until I read a bunch of youtube comments pointing it out. But in the scene where they are all sinking, both Amanda and the opossum try to fight it, and while Wooly seems surprised and a little panicked at first he just gives in.

Then there's the whole meatman scene... everyone talks about how Wooly looms over Amanda as she screams but I have seen no one mention how the meatman is the one who makes her scream in pain like this. Also when he says this line, did anyone else physically feel that feeling when the shot is definitely more than a pinch... but like... in their whole arm? I feel it every time and that's why I always try to speed past that scene when watching Amanda videos cuz I hate that feeling so much it makes the whole thing feel 10 thousand times more creepy to me.

I feel like this section of the tape seems to really show how Amanda sees Wooly. Or just represent their relationship in general. She's in pain, suffering, and he just watches with a smile. As if nothings wrong. Looming over her. She can't get rid of him. She's in pain and he doesn't even seem to care. He does nothing says nothing about it. Just stands there smiling without a care in the world.

Moving onto to the We Can Fix it portion (have I talked about this before I can't recall?)

First off, what's up with the whole, losing their eyes thing that happens throughout the tape? Do we think that could be symbolic of something?

Moving on, is it just me or are these the FRIENDLIEST interactions we've ever seen between Amanda and Wooly? Like they are literally just chatting with each other. No angry glares no passive aggressive comments. They disagree about throwing things away, but Amanda doesn't get nearly as angry at him about it as she has with other things. Also it's kind of weird to see Wooly annoyed with Amanda and her being weirdly patient with him. If you showed me this tape back when Amanda 1 came out I'd tell you it was fake.

Also, is it just me, or does Wooly act a lot more... I don't know... human in this tape? Like, I feel for most of the games he feels like... a static cartoon character. Everything he says and does (especially in the first game) feels SO scripted. And while he has moments where he breaks this, it's usually brief. But... this whole tape he just feels so... human. Like not just this cardboard cutout who smiles and waves and always acts the same. Like, throwing old stuff away is a normal thing to do. Wooly kind of feels like a parent trying to get their kid to put some of their unused toys in the yard sale bin. (except way less mature about it). His genuine surprise when they fix the first two toys. The way he rolls his eyes at Amanda when she says: "Just let me look" And like, his little snide comments he makes like: "I could've been to the dump by now." Feel so unlike him, but still so much like something an actual person would genuinely say. In general, he seems to be doing and saying things that feel like things he would usually never do, and yet still feel so in-character. He seems to act more genuine in this tape.

And then, Amanda's concern when Wooly's eye gets torn out. Like, she looks genuinely worried. Wooly actually freaking out over it... I mean, when have we ever seen Wooly freak out like this? Sure he seems nervous or scared around Amanda at times, but like that feels different. And Amanda, actually tries to comfort him! Like does no one else notice how weird this is for them?!

Not to mention Wooly saying he doesn't like this game anymore. Wooly never seems to object to adventures. I feel like this scene between them says a lot more than we realize.

My theory is that the whole Broken Tape sequence caused some sort of change or realization in the two of them. Wooly suddenly saying "I can't take this anymore!" after whatever the heck that opening sequence was would make quite a bit of sense. Like that was probably horrifying for the both of them. The whole "getting merged together" thing?! The whole meatman showing up thing?! The whole, sinking into the ground thing?! Like while it looks clearly worse on Amanda it is probably horrifying for them both nonetheless. Between the opossum, the meatman, and Hameln maybe they silently agreed that there are much worse things to deal with than each other, so maybe they became slightly more tolerant towards each other? This behavior seems to continue on into the Do You Feel Safe? tape, somewhat. There's a clear change in their behavior. Amanda seems to directly call out Wooly's "nothing's wrong" attitude when he says the neighborhood feels "safe".

Then Amanda asks: "Does it Wooly?" and... once again we don't see Wooly's "Everything's Fine" mask on. I mean, how could it after the whole "Broken Tape" incident? Well I mean, it's kind of there. He still says, "Yeah, most of the time." But he sounds SUPER unsure this time. Almost like "I thought it was..."

Also I just love the face Amanda makes at us here. I don't know something about it is so funny to me. it's giving a sarcastic "yeah sure, most of the time Wooly." kind of vibe but also like she's look to us like we totally agree. Or even like a looking to us with a "Look at this idiot." vibe. I know I've already talked about this tape but I wanna talk about it more in the context of the continuity between this one and the last one. I really do think that Wooly tries to go back to his, "stay on script" mode.

I also just noticed here that Amanda doesn't seem too annoyed at Wooly's lecture... UNTIL

He flips back to the whole "Having Adventures with your friends!" thing. And she flat out ignores him, the way she used to in the first game. I think between these two tapes, Amanda seems to be more... comfortable and less annoyed around Wooly when he ISN'T playing a caricature of a cartoon character. Like, obviously, she says in this tape that she still doesn't trust him. This whole alley scene interaction seems very much like their first game interactions. Like Wooly is clearly trying to fit back into the whole "everything's fine" skit and Amanda isn't having it. This could why she doesn't like him in the first place. He acts like everything is fine when it very clearly isn't. And Amanda... flat out IGNORES him. She straight up tells him to shut up, and he looks kind of afraid of her, the way he used to in the first game.

Also I find it really interesting how Wooly suddenly switched back from talking about the show and how they should act to saying "but I really don't-" don't what? Don't like it? Cuz I feel like that's what he was trying to say here. I personally think the whole "playing along with the show" thing is not even about what Hameln wants. It feels more like a way to cover up the fact that Wooly doesn't seem to like all this. It's almost like he's reflecting the blame onto Amanda for their situation rather than acknowledging Hameln's role in all this. Which ties into my favorite Amanda theory:

Basically, I think Amanda and Wooly have very skewed perceptions of each other and both believe that the other has bad intentions. I think on Wooly's part, he's a lot more selfish than Amanda. Though, I feel like Amanda would be a lot more tolerant of Wooly if he was actually honest about how he feels about this situation. Because as much as he tries to hide it and pretend to like it here, he clearly doesn't. Of course he doesn't, he isn't stupid. But I guess it's easier to pretend nothing's wrong and play a part than to actually process what the hell happened to you. (or rather, the hell you went through). Honestly, I think Amanda is actively trying to process and overcome her trauma while Wooly is avoiding it, burying it. Though both are doing it at the other's expense.

However, in the good ending version, the opossum appears and creates a common enemy between the two. And they work together really well. If you help them beat the opossum, Amanda suddenly agrees with Wooly's sentiment that sometimes strangers can be scary. Then when Wooly asks if they could go home, Amanda teases him, asking if he's scared. What I find interesting is that he doesn't actually refute this. Which while it isn't admitting it, it isn't denying it either which is definitely a start. (and then there's the alternate scene where they beat up the opossum in complete sync with each other what the heck).

Whoops that got REALLY off topic. My point is, their relationship has changed, and they seem to be STARTING to communicate more with each other. Amanda still doesn't trust him, but I think this is a start. Yes she tried to kill him at one point, yes she hated him... but I don't think Wooly is as terrible as some people make him out to be. He's selfish and he actively ignores Amanda's feelings in favor of what HE wants, but I don't think he's doing it for Hameln.

Anyway I'm tired. I'll talk about the rest of the tape tomorrow. We cool with that? IDC I'M GOING TO SLEEP BUH-BYE!

[separatist-apologist]

Do you have any recs for Feysand-like characters romance but healthier? I love them but I love the wholesome parts of them so so much more and it would be nice to enjoy them in a sweeter setting. I will take books/shows, even movie works but not my favourite option.

It's fine if you don't have any. Thanks anyways.

I consulted my feysand experts (@thesistersarcheron, @rosanna-writer, @octobers-veryown, @kataravimes-of-the-shire, @velidewrites, and @reverie-tales - this is what everyone came up with) (under cut due to length):

One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig (duology, complete):

Elspeth needs a monster. The monster might be her.

Elspeth Spindle needs more than luck to stay safe in the eerie, mist-locked kingdom of Blunder—she needs a monster. She calls him the Nightmare, an ancient, mercurial spirit trapped in her head. He protects her. He keeps her secrets.

But nothing comes for free, especially magic.

When Elspeth meets a mysterious highwayman on the forest road, her life takes a drastic turn. Thrust into a world of shadow and deception, she joins a dangerous quest to cure Blunder from the dark magic infecting it. And the highwayman? He just so happens to be the King’s nephew, Captain of the most dangerous men in Blunder…and guilty of high treason.

Together they must gather twelve Providence Cards—the keys to the cure. But as the stakes heighten and their undeniable attraction intensifies, Elspeth is forced to face her darkest secret yet: the Nightmare is slowly taking over her mind. And she might not be able to stop him.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by Victoria E. Schwab:

France, 1714: in a moment of desperation, a young woman makes a Faustian bargain to live forever and is cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets.

Thus begins the extraordinary life of Addie LaRue, and a dazzling adventure that will play out across centuries and continents, across history and art, as a young woman learns how far she will go to leave her mark on the world.

But everything changes when, after nearly 300 years, Addie stumbles across a young man in a hidden bookstore and he remembers her name.

Unsteady by Peyton Corinne:

Rhys Koteskiy is back — at least, he's supposed to be.

During last year’s Frozen Four, the Waterfell University hockey captain, and NHL legacy, took a brutal hit that left him with a concussion and a new discomfort on the ice. Plagued by nightmares and panic attacks every time he attempt to skate, Rhys wonders if he’ll ever play again — if he’ll ever want to.

Sadie Brown is staying focused this semester — no matter what.

Currently drowning in debt, custody hearings for her younger brothers and skating practices, she's just trying to make it to the next day. A spitfire figure skater known for her bad attitude and frequent disappearing acts, she has a reputation on campus. And it’s not a pretty one.

When she accidentally witnesses one of the golden boy hockey captain’s panic attacks and attempts to help him, a strange sort of understanding strikes up between them.

No questions asked. Just comfort.

But Rhys finds himself drawn to Sadie. Where he feels empty, a shell of the man and player he was before, Sadie is so full of everything it bursts from her; every emotion she feels seems like it’s blasted at max. Rhys is desperate to feel anything, Sadie wants to stop feeling so much.

But healing doesn’t mix with secrets, and they’re both skating a thin line, unsteady .

Red String Theory by Lauren Kung Jessen:

 When it comes to love and art, Rooney Gao believes in signs. Most of all, she believes in the Chinese legend that everyone is tied to their one true love by the red string of fate. And that belief has inspired her career as an artist, as well as the large art installations she makes with ( obviously ) red string. That is until artist’s block strikes and Rooney begins to question everything. But then fate leads her to the perfect guy . . . Jack Liu is perfect. He’s absurdly smart, successful, handsome, and after one enchanting New York night—under icy February skies and fueled by fried dumplings—all signs point to destiny. Only Jack doesn’t believe. And after their magical date, it looks like they might be lost to each other forever . . . until they’re given one more chance to reconnect. But can Rooney convince a reluctant skeptic to take a leap of fate?

Neon Gods by Katee Robert:

He was supposed to be a myth. But from the moment I crossed the River Styx and fell under his dark spell... he was, quite simply, mine.

Society darling Persephone Dimitriou plans to flee the ultra-modern city of Olympus and start over far from the backstabbing politics of the Thirteen Houses. But all that’s ripped away when her mother ambushes her with an engagement to Zeus, the dangerous power behind their glittering city’s dark facade.

With no options left, Persephone flees to the forbidden undercity and makes a devil’s bargain with a man she once believed a myth... a man who awakens her to a world she never knew existed.

Hades has spent his life in the shadows, and he has no intention of stepping into the light. But when he finds that Persephone can offer a little slice of the revenge he’s spent years craving, it’s all the excuse he needs to help her—for a price. Yet every breathless night spent tangled together has given Hades a taste for Persephone, and he’ll go to war with Olympus itself to keep her close…

A modern retelling of Hades and Persephone that’s as sinful as it is sweet.

The Magician's Guild (Black Magician's Trilogy) by Trudi Canavan:

"We should expect this young woman to be more powerful than our average novice, possibly even more powerful than the average magician."

This year, like every other, the magicians of Imardin gather to purge the city of undesirables. Cloaked in the protection of their sorcery, they move with no fear of the vagrants and miscreants who despise them and their work-—until one enraged girl, barely more than a child, hurls a stone at the hated invaders...and effortlessly penetrates their magical shield.

What the Magicians' Guild has long dreaded has finally come to pass. There is someone outside their ranks who possesses a raw power beyond imagining, an untrained mage who must be found and schooled before she destroys herself and her city with a force she cannot yet control.

Hoarded by the Dragon by Lillian Lark:

A thief doing a final job and the dragon caught in a precarious situation that changes both of their lives.

He’s powerful and wealthy and he hates me.

But I have something he wants.

It wasn’t a part of the plan.

I’m the thief stupid enough to break into a dragon’s hoard… and walk away pregnant with his baby.

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson:

With a flick of her paintbrush, Isobel creates stunning portraits for a dangerous set of clients: the fair folk. These immortal creatures cannot bake bread or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and they trade valuable enchantments for Isobel’s paintings. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—Isobel makes a deadly mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes, a weakness that could cost him his throne, and even his life.

Furious, Rook spirits Isobel away to his kingdom to stand trial for her crime. But something is seriously amiss in his world, and they are attacked from every side. With Isobel and Rook depending upon each other for survival, their alliance blossoms into trust, perhaps even love . . . a forbidden emotion that would violate the fair folks’ ruthless laws, rendering both their lives forfeit. What force could Isobel's paintings conjure that is powerful enough to defy the ancient malice of the fairy courts?

Isobel and Rook journey along a knife-edge in a lush world where beauty masks corruption and the cost of survival might be more frightening than death itself.

Desire In His Blood by Zoey Draven:

Gemma Hara is drowning under the weight of her father’s debts. Working herself to the bone, she knows that if she doesn’t pay them off in time, the sadistic creditors will take everything: their home, their respected name, and, worst of all, her two beautiful sisters.

To save her family, Gemma agrees to do something reckless: marry a wealthy and mysterious stranger, who offers her a wicked bargain she can’t afford to refuse.

However, his bargain comes with one terrifying catch. Because her husband-to-be is a Kylorr.

One of the most fearsome alien races in the Four Quadrants, the Kylorr are beastly monsters, all muscle and menace, with powerful wings, depraved cravings, and berserker-like rages. The worst part?

They survive on blood.

Cold and cruel, Azur of House Kaalium, the High Lord of Laras, demands Gemma as his blood bride. To feed from her. To use her body in whatever way he wishes. For paying off her family’s debts, he expects her complete submission.

What neither of them predicts is how his bite doesn’t bring pain—it fills Gemma with more exquisite pleasure than she’s ever known. And as she finds her footing on a strange new planet, the one thing Gemma thought she’d never surrender might be at risk after all.

Her heart.

Too bad her new husband can’t seem to decide if he wants to break it…or keep it forever.

Master of Crows by Grace Draven:

This is the question that sets bondwoman, Martise of Asher, on a dangerous path. In exchange for her freedom, she bargains with her masters, the mage-priests of Conclave, to spy on the renegade sorcerer, Silhara of Neith. The priests want Martise to expose the sorcerer's treachery and turn him over to Conclave justice. A risky endeavor, but one she accepts without hesitation--until she falls in love with her intended target.

Silhara of Neith, Master of Crows, is a desperate man. The god called Corruption invades his mind, seducing him with promises of limitless power if he will help it gain dominion over the world. Silhara struggles against Corruption's influence and searches for ways to destroy the god. When Conclave sends Martise as an apprentice to help him, he knows she's a spy. Now he fights a war on two fronts -against the god who would possess him and the apprentice who would betray him.

Mage and spy search together for a ritual that will annihilate Corruption, but in doing so, they discover secrets about each other that may damn them both. Silhara must decide if his fate, and the fate of nations, is worth the soul of the woman he has come to love, and Martise must choose continued enslavement or freedom at the cost of a man's life. And love.