#(its a small moment i KNOW BUT ITS SIGNIFICANT OK)

[amethystina]

Your metas are as fantastic as your fics! I have two questions about the show that I'd love your input on! First what do you think You-Han thought about Ga-On in the bus scene in the first episode beside what you mentioned already? Yeah he doesn’t care for heroics much but he's also so dismissive of humanity and its cowardice and greed, and here's Ga-On risking his life twice for strangers including a criminal, doing the opposite of what people Yo-Han condemned for the fire did. Was any part of him impressed? And second, I'm confused on this, did adult Yo-Han realize that making Sun Ah jump from the window was a shit move or did he think it was ok since she was a thief and tried to set him up and he thought she likes him for his money? And did he ever realize that she had real feelings for him fucked up as they were? He's so dismissive all the time of her it's hard to say, but he also seemed to be offended when Ga-On asked if he was playing with her feelings. Thank you again you're the best.

Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun writing those metas and I'm a little sad that I haven't had the time to write more because I have so many scenes and concepts I'd like to explore. But it's difficult to find the time in between everything else.

ANYWAY. Moving on to your questions!

To be honest with you? Aside from what I've mentioned already, I don't think Yo Han felt or thought much about Ga On during that scene except how he might be useful to him. Like, sure, maybe some small part of him was impressed by Ga On's quick response, but even if he'd take note of Ga On acting unlike most people would in that situation (and unlike the people during the fire) he's also jaded enough that he'd probably explain it away as naïvité. That Ga On just doesn't know better. Or maybe even that Ga On does it because he wants to be heroic. Which obviously isn't true — Ga On's actions are genuine and not just for show or to get attention and praise from others — but Yo Han doesn't know that. Because he doesn't know Ga On at this point. So I think he's just... neutral.

Also, I think Yo Han was too busy with other things to really stop and consider his own feelings about Ga On's actions. Like, I think he focused more on "Oh, this young man is very idealistic and reckless — how can I use that?" rather than just admiring Ga On's bravery.

Like, he's already way, way past reacting to the situation and has gone straight to plotting how it can be useful to him. Especially if you consider that this is the day when his revenge plan is finally being set in motion. He's probably razor-focused on that, not Ga On or whatever he's feeling about said young man.

It's just too soon for him to see the goodness in Ga On and actually give a damn about it? (but he certainly will later — and then he'll start yearning) At this point in the story, I think Yo Han would view Ga On as any other piece on the board — and a pretty insignificant one, at that — that he simply needs to figure out and control.

Well, except for the part where he looks like Isaac xD

If Yo Han had any true emotional reaction to what Ga On did that day, it's probably directly related to Isaac, not Ga On as his own person. Because, again, Yo Han doesn't know Ga On yet. Maybe Yo Han even saw some parallels between the two in that moment, considering how heroic Isaac was during the church fire. Like, not only does Ga On have his face, but he'll brave danger to save others, too.

But, all in all, I think Yo Han just... didn't care all that much about Ga On? Or, well, he cares, of course (enough to intervene and stop the bus) but Ga On really isn't all that important to him here. So I don't think his thoughts and feelings about him were all that significant, either, except, again, in what ways Ga On might be useful to him and how he reminded him of Isaac (which Ga On would no doubt hate if he knew xD)

As for Yo Han and his relationship with Sun Ah, that's a bit trickier. Their dynamic is very, very intriguing and I can't quite decide how I want to view it, but I think I've settled on "playmates" xD

Because Sun Ah is the closest Yo Han has come to finding an equal. Someone who can understand his games, can play by his rules — but also invent her own when she feels like it — and keep him on his toes. Someone who can challenge him and push him to stretch his limits.

Which I think Yo Han found to be pretty fun at first, but he eventually realised that maybe having an equal who's exactly like you isn't necessarily a good thing — especially judging by his behaviour towards her. Like, he enjoyed their games, sure, but he didn't like when she started making assumptions, trying to weasel her way into his life, or tell him what to do.

Because that's what Yo Han does and he clearly doesn't like it when the shoe is on the other foot xD

(Like, for real: if you think about it, Sun Ah used very similar methods when she attempted to woo Yo Han as Yo Han used to woo Ga On (including the kidnapping). But those are methods that don't actually work on Yo Han because he's, well, Yo Han. They did work on Ga On, though x'D)

I do think that Yo Han was genuinely attached to Sun Ah to some degree (the moments after she shoots herself in front of him show that), but he's also pretty flippant about her feelings for him, yes. And I think that's because he thought those feelings were based on a foolish childhood obsession she couldn't let go of. Which, considering his unsentimental disposition, probably made him view them as pretty superficial. Kind of like you'd patiently nod along when a child declares that they're going to marry their cool, older cousin when they grow up? The feelings are real, but they're also founded in something that's not, so he doesn't take them all that seriously. If that makes sense?

And yes, I think that adult Yo Han intellectually knows that he shouldn't have made her jump out of that window when they were kids, but he also doesn't regret doing it x'D

Because it's all a part of the game. I mean, no matter what Sun Ah says, I don't think she jumped out of the window because she loves Yo Han — she jumped because she wanted to prove that she could. Basically calling him on what could have been a bluff, but they're both so stubborn that of course it wasn't a bluff. But she couldn't back down at that point, could she? She didn't want to, because that would mean he'd win and could say that she didn't love him as much as she claimed.

It's all just a big mind game, basically, where they're constantly trying to outsmart each other and call each other's bluffs.

Even the part where he's so dismissive of her feelings, I'd argue. Because, clearly, she enjoys chasing him and so the fun would end if he gave her what she wants. He's playing hard to get, basically, just because he can. Just because he wants to see what will happen if he does.

Which I think is why he reacts the way he does when Ga On questions him, because Ga On clearly doesn't understand the rules of the game. If Sun Ah didn't want Yo Han to use her feelings against her, she shouldn't have given him that as a tool for him to use. And she's smart enough that she wouldn't do something like that by mistake so that's basically permission in Yo Han's eyes. Nothing is sacred, and all that.

But, at the core of it, I also think that Yo Han's dismissiveness comes from the fact that he doesn't actually want her the way she wants him. He never did. He finds her entertaining and probably feels a certain kinship to her since she, again, is the closest he's found to an equal — someone just like him — but that's not as important to him. He's more focused on his revenge and taking care of Elijah (and securing himself a doe-eyed sugar baby). So yes, he likes the games and the challenge she presents, but she's not what he's looking for.

And he kind of gives up on that whole thing entirely after she killed K, threatened to kill Ga On, and just threatened Elijah in general. That's when things stopped being fun and there's no coming back from that.

Basically, I think that Yo Han and Sun Ah are very similar in how they think and behave and while that makes them equals in many ways — and means they can play a game that is quite literally on another plane than we mere mortals may understand — that's also their downfall. It would never actually work between the two of them because they're too similar. The push-and-pull would never end and, sooner or later, they'd tear each other apart.

If you compare Sun Ah with Ga On (because of course we have to) he manages the most vital part — which is to challenge Yo Han intellectually — but is also caring and responsible enough to back down when things are about to escalate beyond what's manageable. He'll go soft and warm and basically ask: "Is this really what you want?" And, sometimes, Yo Han actually seems to realise that "Uh, no, it's actually not. Let's try that again."

Which makes a huge difference not only for the longevity of their relationship, but also how much Yo Han ends up wanting it. Because, clearly, despite all the darkness and sharp edges, he does want love and softness. And, deep down, I think some part of him always knew that Sun Ah couldn't give him that — but Ga On can. And so that's who he chooses to woo.

(not me turning almost every ask into an opportunity to gush about Yo Han and Ga On and how they're perfect for each other)

ANYHOW. I hope that answers your question on some level? Tbh Yo Han and Sun Ah's relationship has too many nuances for me to sufficiently summarise it here (much like Yo Han and Ga On's relationship) but my suggestion is to see them as playmates. Like, just assume that almost all of it is a part of them trying to outsmart each other. And there are no rules because they're both certifiably unhinged.

So yeah! Thank you so much for asking! Though I must say: it might just go to my head if people keep asking me for my opinion on stuff like this. Like, does this mean my opinions actually matter? Oh my xD

Take care, darling 💜

[mo0dy-succubus]

Relax and let us care for you

Threesome

Dom!yuqi

Switch fem!reader

Sub!soyeon

Naked massage

A bit of temperature play

Small teasing

Small Degrading

Soyeon was always busy. Like 24/7. She was constantly stressed about working on new song. So much that she had to cut time with you and yuqi so she could work. You both respected soyeons productivity, but yall worried that she would burn herself out.

"Yuqi-ah, when is soyeon going to be home?" You say setting the table for dinner. "I don't know yet, she's been at the studio lately" yuqi says coming up behind you kissing your cheek. "Dinner smells nice though!" She says smiling big. "Thank you, I just wish soyeon was here, she hasn't been here for dinner for the past few days". "She'll be hear soon don't worry" yuqi says comforting you.

You and yuqi sit down at the table and began to eat without soyeon again for the third night in a row. "I wish she wasn't so stressed out.." you say feeling the weight of stress from your significant other. "Don't feel bad, you know how soyeon is, I know she is thinking of us" yuqi says moving over to you kissing your head. "We should do something for her!" Yuqi says. "Like what?" You skeptical.

Yuqi leans down to your ears and whispers. "Show her how much we care". Yuqis low tone voice sends shivers down your spine as you feel her breath. "We should treat her well~ she might be sore from working so much~" she says seductively. "Y-yuqi are you sure?.."

"Why not!" Yuqi says standing up. "Let's give her a massage we can go to the store and get some essential oils". You think for a moment. "Sure why not, it seems fun" you say joining in on the idea. "Should we go to the store now or wait till tomorrow" yuqi say in question.

"Tomorrow, it's getting late so let's sleep, plus soyeon gets home late so we shouldn't let her see the oils and stuff" you say standing up cleaning the table off. "Let's go to bed now I'm tired!". You look at yuqi as she picks you up and kisses as she carries you to your guy's bedroom. Yuqi places you softly on the bed and gets in beside you kissing you as she cuddles you. "I hope she enjoys our plan" yuqi says slowly drifting of to bed.

Soyeon gets home around 11 pm. She was worn out to pieces, she walks into the house and opens the fridge and automatically sees the plate of food you left for her. She smirks at the note you left her on the plate. She removes the covering and puts it in the microwave. Soyeon sits down and eats the meal you made for her happily despite her tiredness.

Soyeon takes a shower and puts on some comfortable clothes. She looks at you two sleeping together. She crawls into bed and cuddles you. You roll over to soyeon putting your face on her chest. She caressed your head as she falls asleep.

It was 5 am when soyeon had to get up again. She moved softly to not wake you up. That didn't work though. As soon as she moved you woke up whining for her. "W-where are you going..".

"I have to go I'll be back soon." She says rubbing your head so you would fall back asleep. "I'll be back early this time" soyeon says before leaving to get dress. She eats something light and gets her bag. Before she leaves she left a small kiss on yours and yuqis head.

Yuqi was the first to wake up between the two of you. She makes you both a Light breakfast. "Y/N  wake up I made food". "Ok I'll be there" you say stretching out all your limbs. You walk to the kitchen and eat the breakfast yuqi made.

"We should get going to the store" yuqi said getting up after eating her food. "I'll get dressed then we can go, don't wait on me" you say trying to eat quickly. "Slow down don't choke babe". "I will don't worry". Yuqi smiles softly at you stuffing your face with food.

Once you are done eating you and yuqi get dressed. You both go to the nearest store that carries essential oils and other stuff like that. It was your idea last minute to go to a adult store to get rope, blind folds, and more kinky stuff. Yall had a few kink items on hand but yall wanted soyeon to remember this moment for a while. " I think that's everything let's go home" yuqi says holding your hand and walking back to your guy's house.

"Let's hurry up and set up" yuqi says as soon as yall arrive home. Yall both put down the bags and begin setting the house for the mood. Yall make dinner and set up candles.The time was 8pm before you heard soyeon at the door. You and yuqi act natural as possible.

"Hey guys I'm home" soyeon says. "Welcome home soyeon- ah" yuqi says kissing her cheek. "We made dinner for you" you said cheerfully kissing the other side of her cheek.

"Oh thank you!" She smiles. You all sit down and eat. You and yuqi look at each other as you see soyeon dive down in her meal like she hasn't eaten all day. "Soyeonie" you say slyly. "We have surprise for you" you stand up pulling soyeon to her feet.

"Oh, what is it?" Her look of curiosity makes you smirk. "You have to put this on first" yuqi say putting a blind fold over her eyes. You both guide the blinded soyeon to the room placing her on the bed. "No peaking!!" Yuqi yells. You remove the blind fold for her eyes revealing the cute set up for the massage.

"Ta-da it's a massage" yuqi says. "Get undress and wear this robe. We'll wait for you outside the bathroom". Soyeon looks excited by the gift and goes in the bathroom to get undress."I'm ready" soyeon says coming out of the bathroom.

You and yuqi sit her down on the bed she takes off the robe and lies down on her stomach. You grab some warm oils and put them on your hand, rubbing them in before massaging soyeons body with it. Soyeon let's out a relaxed sigh as she feels your touch. Yuqi joins too as you work on her upper body, and yuqi works on her lower body. "Wowww...this feels amazing.." she says in tranquility.

Soyeon closes her eyes to enjoy the moment. Yuqi smirks at you as she continues to work on the back of her leg and thigh, just barley passing. Directly over her ass. You continued rubbing small circles on her shoulder releasing any tension Soyeon might have. The more you rub the oil onto her naked body the more the candle light reflects off of her glistening body.

"Soyeonie can you turn around now?" You say being finish oiling her back. "y-yeah" she says turning around on her back now. You start by massaging more oil down her neck down to her chest touching her chest earning a small moan from soyeon. Yuqi beings to spread her legs apart a bit massaging her inner thigh.

You begin to grope soyeons chest, squeezing them softy."B-babe what are you..?..AaHh~"soyeon let's out a moan when she felt yuqis finger enter her. "Look how wet shes getting, does this turn you on~?" Yuqi say pushing another one of her long slender fingers into soyeons wet craven. "W-hat are yall doing.." she says. "You worked hard alot recently so we decided to treat you to something special~" you say groping and massaging her chest more.

Soyeon moans feeling the pleasure on her tits and yuqis fingers. "You do want this right?~" yuqi says her voice deep and sexy. "Pl-please~" soyeon begs out.You and yuqi take whatever clothes you had on off. You and yuqi look at each other and crawl ontop of soyeons body.

Your wet pussy infront of soyeons face mocking her. "Are you gonna be good and lick mommy's pussy?~" you say. Soyeon begins to licks your wet folds. "Fuckk~ right there~, such a good girl~". You lean over to yuqi who is still fingering soyeons pussy and kiss her deeply.

Yuqi kisses back your tongue fighting for dominance. The feeling of yuqis fingers causes soyeon to moan against your clit making you lose the battle against yuqis tongue. You break off the kiss, saliva connecting you and yuqis mouth as you feel yourself reaching your high. "I'm cumming~ keep going baby~" you cry out. Soyeon begins moving her tongue faster up your slit until you scream cumming onto soyeons face despite how hard soyeon was trying to get all of it in her mouth.

You get off of soyeon and encourage yuqi to move her fingers faster into soyeon. "Yuqi-ah~, more~!, I'm gonna-~" before her sentence even got out she was coming undone on yuqis hand. "What a slut look at how hard she came~". Soyeon looks exhausted even though it was just the first round. You both laugh teasing her tired body.

Yuqi gets up to get something from the closet. You take this opportunity to dive in between soyeons legs. You gave a long satisfying lick to her entrance up to her sensitive clit. Your tongue begins to earn a few moans soyeon as you continue. Soyeons moans get louder as she tangles her fingers in your hair signing she's about to reach her second orgasm.

You pull away ruining her fun. "Babeeee....stop teasing me.." soyeon whines out desperately. Yuqi comes back with a strap. This one made soyeon lose her mind, the edging, the strap hitting all her sweet spots. Yuqi takes your spot and gets between her legs, thrusting the entire length into soyeons body.

"AaHHh~!!" Soyeon moans out, whimpering as yuqi continues to pound away at her cunt. You watch in amazement by the sight, as you get turned on extremely. You slowly slip a finger into your pussy a slow groan falls from your mouth feeling yourself clenching around your fingers. Yuqi moves faster going deeper into soyeon. "Yuqi-ah~! Harder~!" Soyeon says, her long acrylic nails scratching softly at yuqis back.

Yuqi moved harder into soyeon before soyeon finally reaches her second orgasm. Yuqi pulls out of soyeons heaving body. "I'd you want some you could have just asked baby~" yuqi says pulling your hand away from your pussy. "Please yuqi I want you to fuck me~" you say in a lusty voice. Yuqi smirks before flipping you over fucking your pussy directly infront of soyeon.

"Don't be shy give soyeon a good time while I fuck you~" yuqi says. You suspect that she wants you to eat soyeon out while she is taking care of your pussy. You lick her wet slit, feeling her warm body against your mouth. Soyeon, now a sensitive mess begins to squirm at your touch. You moan feeling yuqi going faster then she was originally.

"Yuqi~!, I'm gonna cum~!" You say trying your best to keep pleasing soyeon. Yuqi begins to make her thrusts harder. It didn't take long before you also cum on her strap. The vibration from your mouth from moaning against her causes soyeon to cum in your mouth. Yuqi pulls out off you making you flop on the bed.

Soyeons face flushed hot looking up at the ceiling dazed. Your roll beside her the soon yuqi joins. You all trying to catch your breath. "...that was...amazing" soyeon says pausing a bit. "Thank you guys..". You and yuqi smile before moving closer to soyeon cuddling each other to sleep.

[yurikogane]

this ones more of a ramble-y post, but. you know idrc its my tumblr its interesting to think about how the team in canon was supposed to be depicted as so close, but really they dont leave space with close connections despite fighting in a war with these people and living with them for an undetermined amount of time. like. ok let me explain:

when the paladins come back to earth, the only real new connections made were with the lions and lance dating allura. those were the only ones depicted with any sort of significance i mean. which is really interesting when you think about it: because for the most part these people are more so bonded through trauma rather than being depicted as actually knowing each other. theyre a unit but really when you take them away from each other in canon, what real connections do they have with each other that werent pre existing? garrison trio, broganes.. i think this is kind of furthered when we see how lance is kind of left to grieve on his own after allura sacrificed herself (which i could make a whole other post on bc it was so STUPID but i digress) and he just. went back to earth with his family? and there was no depiction of anyone really like attempting to help him or even that the rest of the team (minus coran) were really affected by her death. which is crazy, because she was supposed to be a leader figure and like a big part of the team. we dont really see that though and thats interesting to me. to circle back a little you might be thinking "oh but keith and lance had a pretty significant relationship build! they become friends doesnt that count" or "keith and hunk too! they had those few moments where they seemed to rely on each other really, so what?" and to those i say: we dont really see the effects of those relationships though. yes yes they had significance to the fans (cough klance cough) but like, looking at the whole story? if you took those interactions out, nothing changes. not like the others at least, because the build of relationships doesnt seem to have much of an effect on the characters when they return to earth / the small glimpse into the future we get. and it annoys me to no end that these people are supposed to be considered found family from space but they dont have interpersonal relationships that weigh on any real plotlines (which are shaky themselves...yawn) TLDR: basically just me ranting about how no real relationships between the characters were built in space despite voltron being said to depend on team bordering on family. i would have added more but it would end up on a whole side tangent about altean capabilities, plotlines to nowhere, and a long long tangent about how each individual was handled within the shows canon. thank god for fix it fanfics everyone??

[yakuzacanons]

Hallo! First of all, thank you about headcanons, even though I found this blog just a few days ago, I already read mostly everything and they are wonderful!

And secondly: what do you think about the characters' love language? I get some ideas, but it's very interesting what you can write about it.

Thank you in advance, and have a nice day!

This is so sweet and YES love languages are very good. I'm just gonna be operating off the big 5 basic love languages: words of affirmation, gift giving, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. I know there are probably other specific offshoots of these but I'm keeping it simple. Thanks for your patience and have a good one!

ALSO I am done with Yakuza 6 and am on Yakuza 7 so 6 related asks are officially ok. Ichiban coming soon, promise.

Kazuma Kiryu: Words of Affirmation

Kiryu isn't always the best conversationalist but he's a really good emotional support person. Great at hearing people out and even better at comforting or motivating them. In his most romantic of moments, he can be quite expressive, even if a little blunt.

Majima Goro: Quality Time

You'd think by the amount of weird and cutesy nicknames he gives everyone, especially his significant other and Kiryu, that he'd be a word of affirmation kind of guy but Majima actually just wants to spend the most amount of time possible with his boo. Spends the night as often as possible. Plus, spending quality time means he's got time to do all the other love languages and more.

Akiyama Shun: Gift Giving

Bless his silly stupid head but Akiyama is sorta no thoughts head empty. Less of a smooth talker and more just really lucky at saying the right thing. Great at planning gifts though, especially experiences like vacations, concerts, or festivals.

Saejima Taiga: Acts of Service

Out of all the boys, Saejima is the most traditionally manly man. Holding the door open, walking on the part of the sidewalk closest to the street, paying for the bill when on a nice date, etc. It's a total contrast to the brutish vibe people tend to get off of him but in reality Saejima is just REALLY nice and he figures there's no better way to say it than just showing it.

Tanimura Masayoshi: Gift Giving

In an ideal world, Tanimura would actually be a quality time type of guy but work gets in the way too much for that to be realistic. He compensates by getting you lots of gifts. Nothing too lavish but lots of small things, like your favorite snack while he was at the store because he thought of you or surprising you with a new CD by your favorite singer. For fancier gifts, they usually have lots of cultural significance than monetary value.

Ryuji Goda: Physical Touch

Even though Ryuji can afford to spoil you rotten with gifts, which he will do anyways, his love language is actually physical touch. The gifts are a nice gesture but its the physical intimacy that carries way more meaning to him personally. He won't go full PDA on you but he'll still hold your hand in public or have his arm around your shoulder. He always finds some way to gain physical closeness to you, even if it's not the most upfront or obnoxiously romantic way.

Nishikiyama Akira: Quality Time

He pretends his love language is gift giving because he wants to impress you but in reality he just wants some one-on-one time, just you and no one else. That becomes rather apparent once he realizes he doesn't have to try hard to seem cool in front of you. Secretly just a cozy little guy.

Mine Yoshitaka: Gift Giving

Total gift giver and not ashamed of it. Has a gift for everything. He's also pretty gentlemanly to acts of service sometimes end up going hand in hand with his gifts. In the bedroom though he's a words of affirmation type of guy. Probably the only one of the guys who distinctly changes his love language when having sex versus just spending time with his romantic partner.

Dojima Daigo: Words of Affirmation

Don't be mistaken, Daigo values quality time a lot but is often not available consistently to actually be with you due to how hectic his work is. Behind his somewhat quiet and hesitant demeanor is actually a man who just wants to sing you the praises you deserve and he will do his best to say so whenever he can.

Shinada Tatsuo: Physical Touch

Cuddle buddy supreme. Would smother you with hugs and kisses if he could. Loves laying his head on your shoulder or just snuggling up to you. In colder weather, he'll totally find excuses to be even closer to you, like holding your hand and putting both of your hands in his coat pocket before saying something dumb like "Now we can hold hands AND be warm!"

[finniestoncrane]

Your One True Nemesis

Chapter 11: also on AO3 Masterlist Here Arkham!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 1.9k i am sorry, i knew this was coming and chose not to tell anyone request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: angst, but also some cutie things!

“I’m going out.”

You turned to Edward, attention pulled briefly and without much enthusiasm from the book you were reading.

“Oh… ok, see you later.”

Returning to the pages, you managed to read a half a sentence before your brain suddenly clicked on and forced you to turn to him again.

“Wait, what?”

Stopped in his tracks as he put on a scrappy looking hoodie, of course in a deep shade of green, he looked to you blankly.

“Out. I’m going out.”

“Why?”

“Does there need to be a reason?”

You could feel your eyes narrowing as you looked at him, but you tried to remain as neutral as possible.

“Not necessarily. But it would be good to know where you were going.”

He looked as though he were considering his options, like it was a significant decision to make to divulge the information to you. And the longer he took, the more suspicious you got.

“I have to make a delivery.”

“What of?”

Eddie tossed his head back and groaned, rifling around in the messenger bag he had on his shoulder and producing a small brown parcel.

“This. It’s a… device. A favour. Just a little thing that’ll aid it’s recipient in the acquisition of information. You see, it draws its influence from mid-fifteenth century torture devices and-”

“Who is it going to?”

Irritated that you had interrupted him, Eddie tried to remain calm. It wasn’t worth it. You were already upset with him and he couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of dealing with you in an even fouler mood than the one you were in.

“Crane. Or rather, one of his henchmen. It’s a trade. I need some materials, some chemicals. Where better to get them than the old crow.”

As he spoke, Eddie was turning, adjusting his hoodie and walking towards the door.

“I could go.”

He stopped again, focusing his face to hide the irritation at the delay in his activities before turning to you.

“You?”

“I’d like the opportunity to go outside. I need some… space. Some fresh air.”

Eddie knew you were still mad at him. You were awkward and stinted, not smiling as much as you did before. Perhaps it would do you some good to get some space. Or, he quickly reframed his thoughts, it would do him some good to be without your bothersome attitude for a while. Truthfully, under normal circumstances, he would have preferred to have sent you in the first place. But he was hesitant to ask anything of you at the moment. He had to keep reminding himself that he wasn’t afraid of your reaction, or of pushing a further wedge between you both. It was just that he found it a waste of time to argue with you. That was all. Nothing else. He wasn’t worried in the slightest that you might leave. That making you do his bidding outside of the depths of his lair might be your final straw. Because he didn’t care you left. He could just train someone else. The thought made his heart sink though. And he reasoned it was likely because training someone would also be a waste of his precious time.

“Ok… either yes or no, Eddie.”

He was pulled from his thoughts by your voice, suddenly realising he was yet to say anything. And in silence, still, he removed the messenger bag and held it out in front of him. You stood up from the sofa, taking the bag from him. He took your phone and added the meet up location into the map.

“Now… the henchmen. I’m not sure which one it will be but they’re very… intense. As Jon is. Although I’m sure you’re aware of that.”

“Yeah… I know who Jon is. I’m pretty familiar with him.”

“Oh, I suppose you have a crush on him too?”

You shrugged, shifting your mouth as you tried to decide if you did or didn’t.

“Who don’t you have a crush on?”

Raising an eyebrow you looked Eddie deeply in the eyes, hurt by the spiteful remark but comforted by the fact that at this point, at least, you definitely didn’t have a crush on him. Turning quickly to avoid any further conflict, you made your way out of the sewers. And alone again, Eddie cursed himself for being unable to have a decent conversation with you.

Finally at the location, taking a longer route than you needed to in an effort to enjoy the freedom and the strangely fresh air, you took a seat on a nearby bench. After a few minutes, you lifted your arm to check your watch, suddenly bombarded by a figure who bounced up to you and dropped themselves down by your side.

“Ok, I’m not even late! And you’re checking your watch with that face on?”

You turned to who you assumed was the henchmen you were to meet. He was younger than you expected, around your age. And he didn’t look like one of Scarecrow’s men at all. You supposed it was an effort to conceal his identity as an affiliated goon, and it was actually refreshing to see a normal person when you had expected some unknown terror to arrive.

“How did you-”

“You’re in the right spot. Lucky guess. Also, you look particularly miserable which just screams ‘I work for Edward Nigma’.”

It was impossible not to giggle.

“Yeah, see… you know exactly what I mean. So, you got the… whatever it is?”

“Oh! Yes!”

Reaching into the bag you produced the brown parcel and handed it over to the stranger.

“God, you’re lucky I’m a nice guy, or nice-ish. You’re just gonna give me that without even checking I have what you came here for?”

Sweat began to form on your palms as you realised how much of a mess you were making of the exchange. In a fit of panic, you looked to his sides, trying to ascertain whether he even had with him the materials you were supposed to be collecting for Eddie.

“Relax, babe. Got it right here.”

From his pockets he produced six glass vials of a clear liquid and held them out to you. Once you had them in the messenger bag you offered him an unsure smile.

“See, told you I was a nice guy.”

Your smile warmed at his own. It was so strange and so pleasant to speak to someone who wasn’t condescending, or waiting for an opportunity to insult you. You’d almost forgotten what it was like, and you hated that it was over so soon. So you stood up hesitantly, slowly, your body unwilling to leave.

“Well, thanks. I should be going.”

“Really?”

“I don’t… I have to get back… don’t I?”

“Do you?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

He laughed, holding out his hand.

“Mark.”

You took it, shaking it as you introduced yourself.

“This stuff usually takes much longer, babe. It’s like a shitty version of the cowboys in a shoot off. No one has trust in the other side. So by my reasoning, you have plenty of time to hang out. You don’t have to though.”

Sitting back down beside him, he smiled with a sigh. Mark leaned back on the bench and put his arms outstretched along it behind him.

“You worried you’ll get into trouble or something?”

With an incredulous scoff you looked at him.

“Scared of the wrath of Nigma?”

Rolling your eyes you smiled again.

“Hardly.”

“Nah, wouldn’t have thought so, you look like you can handle yourself ok. And Nigma… he’s the kinda guy who would try and lecture himself out of a wedgie.”

To a point, you tried to stifle the laughter, but it was cathartic to get it out. And it was only more difficult to contain the cruel joy when Mark did his impression of Eddie.

“Stop that this instant. I will extend to you an offer. Rather than carry on towards your own humiliation and death, I will simply let you walk away in return for a signed statement, testifying towards my superior intelligence and conceding that I have utterly checkmated you. Now let go of my underpants. You’ll rue the day!”

“Wow, you really have him nailed down. You familiar with him?”

“I know of him. Everyone does. I don’t know how you can tolerate working for him.”

Sighing, you tried not to think of the answer to that question. You couldn’t face it at the best of times, and the last thing you wanted to do was ruin this nice moment. One of the only ones you’d had recently.

“I could ask you the same about Jonathan.”

“Fair.”

“Look, Eddie’s… ok. He’s funny, in his own way. And he can be surprisingly… normal. I admire him. I went out looking for him, to work for him.”

“Ah, so you’re kinda stupid?”

With a playful smack to his arm, you got up from the bench.

“Oh, sorry, babe. I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s ok. I really should be going now though.”

Mark was quick to stand up, staring at you as he shifted awkwardly.

“Look… you could… give me your number… if you want? It would probably be easer for us to communicate directly rather than bother the bosses… I think they’d appreciate the initiative there.”

With a smile, you agreed, taking his phone and adding your name and number into his contacts. And with a small wave, you left him, heading back to the sewers feeling renewed and happy.

The feeling didn’t last long though, because the minute you were back underground, Eddie was there to interrogate you.

“Who did they send? Did you get the goods? What took you so long? Actually, you weren’t gone long at all. Did something happen? Did you mess this up? I knew I should have gone myself.”

You interrupted his relentless questioning as you produced the vials and held them out to him.

“There.”

“Ah… I see. So you are capable of following instructions.”

Brushing past him, you made your way to the sofa and slumped down on it, arms folded over your face as Edward continued lecturing you, asking you question after question about your encounter without ever pausing to let you answer. Amidst the rambling, which your brain had managed to reduce to an irritating low hum, you heard your phone ping. You looked at the screen to see a message from an unknown number.

“Hey, it’s Mark! You can save my number now if you want. Hopefully things were all good when you got back to Nigma’s hovel. I bet he’s lecturing you right now as we speak. Good luck!”

The way Mark seemed to know Eddie better than you even did, had you giggling as you stared at the screen.

“Something funny?”

Edward had stopped lecturing and had moved closer to you, standing at the end of the couch and looking down at you.

“Just a message from someone.”

“A new friend?”

“Something like that. I’m going to make a start on dinner.”

You walked away from Eddie, clutching your phone and putting it back into your pocket as you made your way to the fridge. You could feel Eddie’s eyes boring into your back, no doubt pissed off at the way you were fraternising with the enemy. You couldn’t have imagined that he was jealous though, and even he was having a hard time admitting it.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

incoming hot take/rant about natsu and his romantic pairings and his understanding of love

gonna say something thats gonna get me in trouble

natsu has more objectively romantic moments (and i would even dare to say romantic chemistry) with lisanna than lucy.

now, with that being said, i like n*lu more than i like n*li (i do still like n*li tho. dont know why pol hate it sm. its cute!). but like. on a romantic level, natsu has veryyyyy little moments w lucy. he has way more emotional, powerful, and deep moments with lucy. but they’re not romantic.

but as its been shown especially in 100 yq, natsu doesnt really have a grasp on romantic love. he doesn’t get flustered or blush around lucy (for the most part), he doesn’t understand that lucy clearly has romantic feelings for him, and i think the most obvious piece of evidence of this is in 100 yq when that lady (please forgive me i rly have a hard time keeping up w all the villains) cast that spell that made snow dolls out of “the woman held closest in ur heart” or whatever. for gray, just juvia appeared. for natsu, literally every girl in ft appeared.

i just feel like even in the very small moments natsu and lisanna have, and as insignificant as they are in recent ft, natsu always seems a little nervous/shy. at least in old ft. now, its also very obvious that these moments of awkward natsu who may or may not have a crush on lisanna are waaaaaay less frequent now. but in the very beginning of ft when we first learn ab lisanna was literally the most romantic interaction ive seen natsu have with anyone. and i would argue this is the most romantic interaction his character has EVER had. in the whole series.

now, im not an idiot. i know nalu will be end game. as they should be!!! they have arguably the strongest bond of literally anyone in the whole show. u cannot deny their insane compatibility and how they just make sense! i also know that natsu loves lucy more than ANYONE (ok maybe other than happy. theyre prob tied). but i think natsu doesn’t differentiate this from romantic love. YET.

i think something will definitely go down where natsu has this huge revelation that he not only loves lucy but is IN love with her.

but for right now, the most romantic interest natsu has expressed with another person is lisanna. im standing by that.

there should also be something said for the fact i feel like mashima dumbed natsu down over the years???? like in the beginning he was playful, optimistic, brash, and fun loving. i think he is still all of these things but mashima has steadily made natsu less and less understanding of social queues and more socially unaware. idk if that makes sense.

^but i feel like if u asked ep 1 natsu the difference between love and romantic love, he would be able to tell u. now, i dont think he understands the difference. i do think this will change, but for rn thats how i see it.

anyways blah blah blah. to end this senseless rant, lisanna should have stayed dead. bringing her back to life was one of the DUMBEST things ft ever did. not even bc i like n*lu better than n*li. but bc the significance that lisanna had for natsu and what she meant for his character completelyyyyy went away. his childhood gf came back from the dead and he literally could not give less of a fuck about her now lmao. its so bizarre.

ok dont hate me byeeeeee

[fuszulykaleves]

Ok here we go! 2013 version of "István a király". Its the 30 year jubilee so its definitely special! (last year was also a jubilee, and boy, was it special) ((this is all in good fun, don't take it to heart))

Opening sequence. A cool visual. Approved! I am mostly skipping the overture, cuz nothing ever happens during the overture, other than the actors walking around.

7 minutes in and I'm proven wrong. They are already dancing. To the overture. Its good to, I just don't like the 'Hey!Hey!Hey!' shouts.

Ok, dance number done, now we can get into the meat of things! Let's hear the bard!

....

There is long ass silence here...I think the head priest is walking up the stage, very loudly also, for some reason.

Very awkward. I think the dude on the left is István. The priest gave the signal and the music began., weird, but ok....I'm crying laughing, Oh, my god! The priest is singing the bard song! And so very badly too! He sounds like a robot. No feelings in there.

Calm your tits, Terminator.

Ok, now everyone is singing. Even lord Géza! I haven't seen that before! He is usually silent and I don't really see the point of including him as a character, because the most significant thing he does is that he dies in the first act. There is just no time for you to become attached to him emotionally.

He also moves like a muppet here.

So dude left of the priest is not István. That's Koppány. I think he is shorter than István. Comical.

Veni Lumen cordium. One of my favourite songs. I mostly like these, i don't know what to call them, priest songs? Only with electric guitars and synthesizers. Very cool, much vibe.

I'm only now realizing, they are going very heavy with the electric guitar, and the synth is lacking.

Red crosses? I'm guessing for better visibility...

The people are afraid of the red crosses. I don't blame them.

A bunch of guys in black, with sunglasses just ran in nodded to the priest ran out, then a car pulled up, and now there are policemen suddenly on the stage????? The absurdity is hilarious.

Gizella climbs out of the car, and is escorted to meet with István, who looks... not thrilled, to be getting married. This looks like two mafia families are witnessing the union between their families....

No thoughts, head empty.

For a moment he wants to leave his bride , what the hell man. He is stopped by his mother. Gizella and István share an awkward handshake. Did I mention there is no music during all this? Yeeah. Extra awkward. (you can hear their breaths, eugh)

She actually has a good singing voice, small mercies.

I hate this. István is fucking afraid of his soon to be wife.

Koppány comes in, looks confused by the wedding, looks offended by the crosses, and leaves.

Romeo what the hell are you doing here? You took a wrong turn get out before its too late!

So, now would come the nobles yeah? They are playing "Gratitude to you Lord", which is at the very end? Weird.

Somehow, a bit choppily, they transitioned to the nobles song. Ehhh. Its drawn out. Honestly, EVERYTHING is needlessly drawn out in this version. For dramatic effect maybe? Back to nobles, they have a pause in the middle of their song, i thought it was over for a minute, but they started again. I don't know what was the point of the pause.

One more song and I'm leaving the rest for later cuz, I'm more tired than I thought I was, and it seems, I have more to say than I thought I would want to say.

Koppány comes in with a whip scares away everyone.

This is Réka. With a garbage bag. Koppány is so disappointed with his daughter, he doesn't even look at her. Réka starts picking up some thrash strewn about. What the hell is going on.

Oh, she has a nice voice too.

So this is the scene where Réka is praying and Laborc calls her out for this. Here, Romeo-lookalike-Laborc is like "Pst! Hey, what the hell are you doing???". He is whisper singing, its so weird, isn't Laborc supposed to be like "Shame on you for betraying your Father!". He is weirdly considerate for Réka here.

Ok, shaming is on full force. Damn. He held a note for 10 whole seconds, while running up the stairs. Impressive? Yes. Unnecessary? Also yes. He also sings pretty well. Honestly, the only bad voice until now was the priest. Everyone else is fine.

Look, guys! Its Hide the Pain Harold!

He comes in with this look of "I'm not mad, just disappointed". Everyone looks away in shame. (there is no music here again! very awkward. again)

Hide the Pain Harold Lord Géza walks back out and yells "Yes! It is needed!" (replying to the song before, where everyone chants 'Not needed!' referencing the Christian fate), takes two steps, collapses and dies. RIP Hide the Pain Harold Lord Géza.

[sapphickatpoet]

My Issues with Portia’s Route

(Spoilers)

I’m gonna cut straight to the chase: Portia doesn’t go through any significant character development. Now, I know that some may say that in her Upright ending, she no longer keeps secrets. Sure, that may be true, but the devs ignored something about her character that was established early on in her route. She felt like she was the side character in her own story. She felt small, like she couldn’t do anything to help. All she wants to do is to save her brother, and for a moment, she felt as though she couldn’t even do that. She doesn’t know her worth

Those secrets of hers were all kept so that she could get closer and closer to finding her brother and bringing him home safe. Everything she did was based around that hope. Well, aside from inviting the whole Satrinava family to the masquerade. That was out of her starting to care for Nadia. Yes, Portia’s secrets did get out of hand, but it seems that the devs ignored the reason why she kept those secrets in the first place.

Then, there’s the deal with Tasya. I understand why the devs did what they did. All the LIs had some sort of connection to Lucio, the main villain. All of them, that is, except for Portia. Tasya was added so that Portia could have a personal connection with the villain of the story. Tasya is a great character, but I personally don’t like her addition to Portia’s route. It took everything the story established about Lucio being the villain and twisted it on its head. Now, Julian turns himself in to…protect Portia? The whole shtick with the Hanged Man was completely erased. It was addressed in the route, sure, but that was about it. Tasya’s addition to the story reminds me of how Disney was writing twist villains for a while. She twisted everything on its head until the story was too different than how it was originally laid out to be. Lucio and his many crimes weren’t even addressed when he was brought back to life! We don’t even know what happened to him in Portia’s Upright ending

I feel as though Lucio could’ve still worked as the villain in Portia’s route if the devs remembered how Portia saw herself as the side character in her own story. Lucio wouldn’t know who she is, but The Devil would. This could lead to The Devil trying to tempt Portia into deals, and at the very end, him brutally taunting her and telling her that she’s weak. That she’s powerless to save anyone.

The Upright and Reversed endings for each LI correlate to the tarot card they’re associated with. For Portia, it’s The Star. Both endings seem to do a decent job at this, as in her Upright ending, Portia is hopeful for the future ahead of her. Meanwhile, in the Reversed ending, Portia has lost her zest for life. However, I don’t like Portia’s reversed ending. She’s still the main character of her own story, something that (in my opinion) should’ve been focused on in her route. Of course, the outcome of each route also correlates to the character arc of each LI. The reversed meaning of The Star mainly refers to hopelessness. Despite the changes to everything, Portia still seemed pretty hopeful.

It isn’t just Portia’s route with issues like these; both Muriel’s and Lucio’s routes are riddled with plot holes and other problems saved for a different post. Portia was just completely sidelined by the devs in terms of her story, and were simply shoving in plot points for the sake of plot by the end of her route. Portia has more development in Nadia’s route and Julian’s route than in her own.

And we didn’t even have the masquerade in Portia’s route. I’m still salty to this day.

Of course, if you like Portia’s route, that’s completely ok. It’s a fun route, I will say that. However, it just has way more cons than pros.

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Breaking work ethics

Part 1

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Note: As requested by my other half, @x-doctor-romantic-x, I made it as filthy as possible by her request 😂. Thank you sis for all the support you gave me when I needed it💜. She loved it, and I hope you’ll end up loving it as well. I’ll upload it in 3 parts.

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐Links: part 2

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Warnings: none (for now)

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Pairings: Wesker x OC

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Summary: Wesker and Gaby break work rules and engage in some steamy activities.

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Word Count: 1k

｡ﾟ･ 𖤐 Ko-fi: if you want to support me, visit this link

Wesker's attention was drawn to the sample in front of him.He watched as the cells moved under the lens, how they bumped into each other, and the overall behavior of the virus. It didn’t do anything unusual. After all, the virus was behaving just like any other living organism: it reproduced itself, it evolved, and it had its own genetic sequence. Relatively unnoticeable to the naked eye, they were powerful enough to take down the most significant life forms. This power astounded Wesker and convinced him to pursue a career in this field.

He zoomed in, being more drawn to his creation. It was quiet, so quiet that Wesker fell into his own thoughts. Everything was in order, not a single vial out of place. It was the perfect atmosphere to create a groundbreaking discovery. He reached for a syringe next to him, and he was ready to inject its content inside the sample, when…

SLAM

The door hit the wall hard as it was kicked with force. Wesker almost dropped the syringe. He redirected his attention to the source of the disruption, knowing well who might have been. Only one person in this world has that much courage to interrupt him in such a way.

Gaby stood confidently in the doorway, smirking deviously. She was his girl, and while she loved him deeply, she liked disturbing him while he was working, because she knew she always got away with it. 

“Playing doctor again, Albert?” She said while approaching him, maintaining the same smirk. She finished her job a few minutes ago, and after a cigarette break, she decided to check on Albert. 

“Yes Gaby, it still pays the bills. This better be good. " He said in an annoyed tone. He can’t really be angry at her. If someone else did half the stuff she’s doing to him, he’d become an experiment. 

"Oh, why the angry tone, dear? I just wanted to check on you. Is this good enough for you?”

She was teasing him, playing innocent. Wesker was not having it at the moment. 

“I’m not in the mood, Gaby, please.” His tone was less aggressive this time. 

“You’re always so stressed, you need to relax a little.” In her playful tone, there was a slight hint of worry. The truth is, Albert had been working himself out in the past few months, and that was starting to show. He lost some weight, he had huge dark circles under his eyes, and he was starting to get sloppy, which does not characterize him at all. 

When Gaby pressed her hands over his shoulders to give him a massage, he instantly tensed. 

“This doesn’t look good. You know? I don’t understand why you’re so stressed anyway. "Everything works according to the schedule.” Gaby moved to his side, looking at him while caressing his back.

“Not everything works well, Gaby. Your sister is starting to ask questions about the missions and your job. Your brother is getting suspicious as well, and there is this rookie that just joined, and God she is so clumsy. " He moved his head toward his temple as he kept remembering his problems. “Oh and by the way, would it kill you if you entered the room as a normal person?” 

"Yes,” she said in a firm tone. 

"OK," Wesker said, a small smile forming in the corner of his mouth.

“You gotta get out of this constant tightening up mood. It will do you more harm than good. "

“I can’t Gaby, a lot of things depend on me. If I fuck something up, it will inevitably reflect upon you, and I don’t want that. "

“I can handle myself.” Gaby placed her hands over her hips, adopting a super-hero like stance while looking at Wesker. He chuckled at the sight of his girlfriend. She always managed to put him in a good mood. "I'm serious, my love."You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“I know you are perfectly capable of handling yourself, but I just can’t stop worrying.” He said while lovingly gazing at her. She had this ability to make his day better, even when she would come in like a tank in his office. 

They were total opposites, and they had the strongest bond. Both were smart individuals with strong personalities, but they differed when it came down to personality. Albert was the serious one, always calculated and always with an imposing presence, while Gaby was a free spirit, with a sharp tongue and a great sense of adventure. 

“You know,” Gaby started to say, as he approached Albert, “there is another reason why I came here.” She placed her hands over his chest, gently caressing his body.  Albert got the hint, and removed her hands.

“We can’t sweetheart. I appreciate your concerns, but I must complete my work.Besides, I wouldn’t like Sergei or William to catch us in the middle of the act. There are rules.”

“You and your rules, Albert. C’mon” she scoffed, closing the distance between them. “How often do those two check on you? I tell you how often, twice a month. Sergei comes once at the end of the month to check on your progress and twice at the beginning of the month to give you the next tasks. William does the same, but he is here to complain mostly. "

Albert was hypnotised by her constant gaze. Her eyes were watching carefully for every single reaction that might give him away, while he was staring into those big, beautiful grey eyes full of love for him. It wasn’t long until words faded in the background and all he could focus on was her face, her beautiful red hair, her perfect nose, and red cheeks. Her lips moved with every word, but they were telling their own story. His attention was fixed on her lips for now, because of her dark-red lipstick that drove him crazy. 

[sternbilder]

ok so today I had one of the most fascinating and enlightening discussions maybe of my life and I need to share bc it blew my MIND (warning: long)

here's the context. there is a friend I have. they are a pretty good friend of mine that I've known for many years now and I appreciate them as a person very much. lately I have noticed that they've been texting me fairly frequently. which, from my point of view, is once every couple of days. not because they had something specific to say, but just saying hello or asking how my day was.

I'm sure this was well-intentioned, but this was starting to get a tiny bit grating for me. we just met up in person literally two days ago! and you had texted me not long before that, too! nothing new has happened since then! my day has been quite boring, actually! I thought, in my mind, as I swiped away the notification—and immediately felt like an awful friend.

I knew from past experience that responding to the message would invite an immediate and not easily escapable conversation that, due to my poor multitasking skills, would distract me from work or require me to context switch away from whatever else it was I was doing at the moment—cooking, doing chores, watching TV—and worse, amount to little more than idle chit-chat about the same boring quotidian complaints as usual. I am not one of those people who thinks they're above small talk or don't see its social value, but I found myself thinking, am I the one who is being not normal here in not enjoying having this specific kind of interaction MULTIPLE times a week with the SAME person?

so recently, I've been finding myself routinely avoiding opening this particular friend's messages for fear of hurting their feelings if they saw that I had left them on read for a prolonged period of time. I had even gone so far as to avoid posting in a group chat in which we're both participants so that they don't realize that I have, in fact, been online, just not responding to them, specifically. my hope was that after enough slow responses, this friend would eventually get the hint and give up on trying to maintain a steady steam of conversation, but somehow this has not worked so far.

this was starting to weigh on my conscience. I realized that I will have to eventually fight my conflict-avoidant tendencies and just confront this friend directly, for the sake of both my sanity and our friendship. but how to do this gently? tactfully? without implying that I don't value their friendship or that I perceive them as needy or annoying? that was the tricky question. because I know that my friend isn't doing anything wrong! if anything it is probably me that is weird and antisocial and I probably just need to work on my social skills!

but not wanting to feel like a total asshole and hoping to go in with an informed and reasonable mindset (knowing full well that my understanding of social norms isn't always the keenest), I asked a different group chat for their opinion, hoping to gain some perspective on what boundaries they generally considered normal and acceptable to exercise. I phrased my question thusly:

how many friends* would you say you have where you text on a regular basis (say, multiple times a week) 1:1 just to say hi, about nothing in particular *explicitly a friend, not a family member or SO

y'all. the responses were eye-opening.

there were four people who participated in this discussion, all four of whom were in different camps and had wildly different experiences:

0, and assumed most others were the same

0, but assumed most others were not the same

multiple, and assumed most others were the same

multiple, but assumed most others were not the same

1 was me; in retrospect, I am realizing that because I had assumed that these kinds of interactions were not typical, I had interpreted my friend's gesture as something much more significant than it probably was in their mind, which is to say something that they just happen to do with everyone they know and like—which created a sort of pressure in my mind not to let them down and caused a sense of intense anxiety when I found myself struggling to reciprocate. I am absolutely floored at the revelation that it is apparently normal and common for people to have MULTIPLE friends (not even partners!!! or family!!!) that they are talking to on a constant ongoing basis at any given time, and at the possibility that I was treating my friend's feelings with kid gloves when it REALLY wasn't that hashtag deep for them.

2 clarified that they never initiate these kinds of chats, but when others initiate with them, they're fairly comfortable with simply letting these kinds of pings go unanswered, assuming the other person will just move on to someone else without taking it personally.

3 confessed to me that they once tried to do something similar with me, and eventually gave up, but had felt a bit hurt and rejected at my lack of enthusiasm, because they assumed that I was doing this with other people, just not them specifically. they sympathized very strongly with my friend.

4 also recalled that they had at one point tried something similar with me, but sort of got that I wasn't one of those people who would be receptive to this style of communication and wasn't particularly bothered by this, agreeing with 2 that the expectation is not that the recipient HAS to respond, and that my friend should probably pay closer attention to the face-saving social cues I was sending by not responding or responding slowly.

but yeah, the takeaway from this conversation is that people's preferences and experiences and expectations when it comes to digital communication are WILDLY varied, and because both communication technology and the social conventions surrounding them are changing CONSTANTLY (just a few examples: are read receipts good or bad? what about typing indicators? online status? are emoji reacts or gifs/stickers an acceptable substitute for an actual reply? group chats vs. 1:1 DMs? synchronicity and formality of various communication methods like email and chat and video? are phone calls are still socially acceptable?) there are either no agreed-on norms or different camps of people have vastly different understandings of what the norms are

among the other highlights/a-ha moments of this discussion:

Friend 4 asked another friend who is even MORE extraverted than they are what their # was and they reported somewhere in the ballpark of 20-40 people in any given week which is absolutely buckwild to me (importantly, all four of us in the original group happen to be software engineers, a class of people notorious for their lack of sociability, so I have no confidence that I have captured a representative sample size even within this particular group—the numbers both 3 and 4 gave were still both in the single digits, though they are definitely the warmest and friendliest of the bunch)

I realized that one difference between me and 3/4 was that we fulfill our social needs quite differently? specifically, I mostly connect with friends over group chats, of which I have a handful that are quite chatty and at least one or two that I'm actively posting in on any given day. I also typically have at least one, often multiple, real-life social plans every week! I am, in fact, very satisfied with my social life, to the point where it is almost maxing out my social quota (especially recently now that I've started dating someone)! but anyway—I find group chats to be my ideal form of day-to-day communication because there's less urgency and pressure for any individual person to contribute if they're not feeling up for it, and ALSO in the case of group chats where at least one member is a straight man (which is the majority of them for me, and I call out straight men only because they are the only demographic I have historically had this issue with) there is less room for platonic interactions to be undesirably misinterpreted as romantic

3/4 expressed that they prefer 1:1 conversations because they feel more personal and they can be more vulnerable about sensitive topics, which I would generally agree with—though in several of my group chats, I personally do feel comfortable enough with all the members to share things about myself with the entire group just by virtue of having known everyone for a long time and having built group camaraderie, but they seemed to not be comfortable with this without having previously established a consistent 1:1 pattern of day-to-day communication (or maybe they meant they were uncomfortable with the group forum itself, even if they were cool with sharing with everyone individually)?

they also expressed that for them, frequent unsolicited checkins and 1:1 attention from a friend would feel exciting/flattering/validating for them, whereas for me it would feel overwhelming, especially if we weren't THAT close

I do use 1:1 DMs also, but for a very different set of use cases: 1) if I haven't caught up with someone in a while (read: weeks or months), in which case we'll often just not text super long and make plans to call or meet in person instead, or 2) if I have something specific to say, like "here's this meme/song/piece of news I think you'd like to see" or "I need advice on X" or "guess what happened that made me think of you" or "I heard X happened, are you OK?"

I found that whereas I have a very clear distinction between communication preferences with a friend (someone I talk to on a regular basis but don't have a constant line of individual communication with) vs. a significant other (more or less willing to do this, unless they preferred not to), such a boundary between a platonic and romantic relationship does NOT exist for all people which boggled my mind

but yes anyway. I am learning so much about the way people view socializing in the digital age and I am so curious to know more and I kind of wish more people talked about this more openly (specifically among friends! because in my experience this is something that is fairly common to sort out explicitly in a romantic context) because I think this is probably the kind of thing that no one talks about because people are either afraid of potentially hurting feelings or everyone is just kind of assuming by default that their takes are universal without realizing that no actually, many people have strong opinions on this that are the polar opposite of theirs

but my gut feeling is that there is a lot of completely unnecessary friction that could just be resolved if only we could agree that it's cool to be more upfront about what our communication preferences are without worrying about that being taken extremely personally by the other party? bc idk, every single person I talked to about this today was like holy shit this was a whole fucking revelation actually, I can't believe I hadn't thought about this before thank you for bringing this up

[adamwatchesmovies]

Deaner '89 (2024)

Despite being Canadian, I’ve never seen Fubar and hadn’t heard of Paul Spence before receiving tickets to a screening of Deaner ’89, meaning I had no idea what to expect from the film. I went to see it because I had tickets, not because the plot synopsis sounded enticing or because the trailer made me think “This will be hilarious”. In fact, I went in with low expectations. To my surprise and delight, this is an excellent comedy. Beneath the big laughs, clever gags and memorable scenes, there are some poignant bits of drama; emotions so genuine I think Spence (who both writes and stars) should consider doing more than comedy in the future.

In this mockumentary, metalhead Dean “The Deaner” Murdoch (Paul Spence) looks back at his unlikely rise to fame. His story begins in 1989 when teenage Dean was a small-town hockey all-star poised for the big league. One day, he receives a trunk from his late father. Inside the trunk covered in pentagrams and 69s, Dean finds a cassette that introduces him to the music of Dokken and the world of heavy metal.

As the film begins, Dean tells us that he suffered from some overactive gland/hormonal imbalance as a child. This is why he looks like he’s in his late 40’s (complete with a mustache) despite being in high school. That’s a sign this movie really isn’t taking itself seriously - all for the better. The jokes throughout vary quite a bit, from wild overexaggerations (such as when Aunt May, played by Mary Walsh, introduces Deaner to the bass) to wordplay between Deaner and his girlfriend’s jealous ex (“I’d give you the finger, but I’m saving it for Kitty!”) to weird moments of father-son bonding and plenty of surprises from that trunk. A motorcycle gang wants Deaner to throw a big upcoming hockey game so they can make money off of the bets people make on it, which introduces danger (sort of) and car chases (surprisingly well done for a small production), Kevin McDonald has a small but memorable part as the school principal and the interactions between Deaner, his adoptive father, Glen (Will Sasso), his adoptive mother, Mirna (Lauren Cochrane) and adoptive sister, Jen (Star Slade) also provide many unexpected laughs.

The family scenes, in particular, are significant. Along with the many jokes the film has queued up, there’s a subtle undercurrent of sadness. Both Dean and Jen are adopted and neither know of their Aboriginal roots. Glen and Mirna aren’t being malicious when they tell their children “Just tell those kids who tease you that you’re not Indian”; they’re doing what they think is best. They would have continued with that attitude had Dean not received that trunk from his late father. You understand why; society told them that was ok and their adoptive children’s biological parents didn’t want them. Deaner ’89 talks about the heritage many metis or Aboriginal people have lost or don’t even know they have but it mixes it in with a lot of humor, which makes it ring true despite the ridiculous events within the story. This makes it a celebration of culture and an acknowledgment of Canadian First Nations people’s reality without being too heavy - we’ve got plenty of drama movies for that.

In terms of criticisms, I’ll point you towards some jokes that don’t quite work, or are funny, but don’t quite fit in. At one point, for example, we meet the leader of the motorcycle gang that’s constantly hounding Deaner and he always wears a Halloween mask. Why? So eventually, their identity can be revealed. When you realize who it was the whole time, you won’t believe it… but why were they wearing a mask? There aren’t a lot of headscratcher moments like that, but there are a few.

Deaner ’89 is one of the biggest surprises I’ve seen in a while and it ends on an epic note. There came a point where I was laughing, but unsure how the story would end. This is all told in flashbacks. We know Dean became a successful musician… but how? The answer is clever, it uses the running time to its advantage and will leave you laughing through the end credits. While there may be farts and other juvenile bits of humor in Deaner '89, there are plenty of clever moments too. Even if it doesn't sound like your kind of thing, I'd take a chance on it. Deaner '89 quickly won me over and I won't be the only one. (theatrical version on the big screen, August 22, 2024)

[bigbluelemon]

ok so obviously no pressure but i've been meaning to ask all day: i want to start watching star trek (bc i need to get into classier sci-fi) but have absolutely no idea what to watch first...there are so many different versions man. i thought maybe since you like star trek i could ask you which series you like best so i could start there :P

!!!!! i am so excited i am bouncing up and down (though I dont know about classier scifi……it's mostly silly and hopeful, which is what I like about it, but i wouldn't necessarily call it classy lmao)

Oh there is going to be so much text im so sorry this is probably not what you were counting on lmao

Ok so short answer is: Strange New Worlds if you want a peek into what's happening in here, or whatever vibes with you from the old shows, but probably The Original Series (TOS) (starting from the roots) or The Next Generation (TNG) (still from the roots but a bit more energetic bc its the 80s now) are best

Most of it is on the same timeline, but independent enough that you are safe to start with +- any series you like the premise of i think. That said, I am a big admirer of Strange New Worlds, which imo is the best of both worlds (hehe) in terms of inheriting all the good trek stuff and also being a modern production. It's monster-of-the-week, it touches upon cool topics, and generally just a good show. You might need to look up a bit of context bc it has a small tie to Discovery and I don't remember if they explain it enough within the show (I think they do, but I was also watching them in order so I am biased) (I am also willing to admit that I might generally be nostalgia-baited here bc it is a prequel to The Original Series, aka the very first one with Spock and Kirk etc, but I still believe it's a good show and a good place to start to get a feel of what it's like)

Short answer she said. Oh well.

An even longer answer:

Wiki has a fabulous graph that I love with my whole heart, here it is:

You probably can't see shit here but here's the link where it's in good resolution: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek#History_and_production

I watched trek in 2021, where i sat down and just got through all of the stuff that was out there in order of release start to finish in the span of something like 10 months? 11? i even had a spreadsheet to track my progress, and it was a bit of a mind-altering exercise (I remember emerging out of it like: where am i. what am i watching next. there is no trek left)

All of that is to say that The Original Series is an obvious place to start, but tbh I don't like it much. It is very fun and has a great cultural and historical significance etc, but for me it's way too slow-paced (small attention span girlie here) and, well. misogynistic. It's just very much a product of it's time I suppose. Though I do adore the original cast and my heart belongs to the og wacky alien designs

The Next Generation is better in terms of, well, speed: my brother once said that it resembles a radio spectacle, and he is not entirely wrong. The public seems to agree that the first season is a wash, but tbh I don't find it that objectionable (though i do seem to generally have All The Wrong Opinions, bc I like Enterprise which is apparently considered the worst series overall? Idk it has it's unfortunate moments but I disliked Voyager more) Generally, TNG is a good place to start I think if you want to go in a somewhat chronological order but The Original Series is too much: it's very similar in vibes but a lot more watchable I think.

The last option to start is Deep Space Nine, it's a bit of an add one bc I think they were trying to do something a bit new with it, and I have to say that it took me two seasons to warm up to the main cast (it's not necessarily bad, but I am used to opening up any trek and immediately having 10 new blorbos and that didn't happen there and I was Sad) BUT it is genuinely very good. It's a bit darker in places, has great themes, overarching plot arc, my favourite eugenics plotline, great cast. Basically it's a bit grittier trek for those who are tired of vanilla pink glasses trek. (it's not. actually gritty. it's pretty chill still) It's not a very obvious place to start, both in terms of it's less well-known, and, well, it's the 'one that's not like the others', which is a bit pointless when you don't have a feel of what the others are like, but I don't really know what your taste is and I think it's always better just to watch whatever part vibes with you most instead of aiming for some sort of completionism or whatever. Unless you want the popculture primer that is, then TOS or TNG are your boys

There is a lot of other stuff, but tbh I wouldn't rec it as a place to start for various reasons (Voyager I just plain don't like; Enterprise has a cool premise but it's about the very beginning of space exploration and is much less trek-y bc of it; most of the modern stuff is either not very good or relies heavily on old stuff, either in terms of being prequels/sequels/midquels or being genre deconstruction (like Lower Decks, which I think is great but it's a bit useless if you don't know what it's trying to deconstruct)

Sidenote about the new movies (2009-2016): I don't have anything bad to say about them, I think they were the first trek I ever watched, but they are also very much mid-tier blockbusters in a trek coat and not very trek-like. Are they enjoyable? absolutely. Will they give you a good idea of what trek is? Probably not. They're also the only ones on the alternative timeline, so they don't actually tie into anything before of after and thus aren't a great launching point.

[graces-mindscape]

A Demon-Vamp side story; Truth/Conclusion.

My eyes flutter as my mind slowly comes back into consciousness. I groan as I try to sit up again, my body feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds. What happened? I rubbed the back of my neck as I sat up, trying to recall the last of the details. I had woken up this morning, like always..then it hit me like a bolder......we got attacked....the hellhounds! I ended up in Gabriel's house! It all came rushing back. I looked around the room; it seemed like I had fallen out of my chair. I noticed Gabriel cleaning something up in the kitchen, he soon took notice of me.

"Grace!!! Thank goodness you're awake!"

he set down a plate and came over to me, looking up and down as if examining me.

Nnnn.....urg, what happened?

"You passed out right after I gave you that drink." he replied

Oh.

I begin rubbing my sore head as Gabriel sighs.

"Grace...there's something I have to tell you." he said with a sad expression.

What is it? Why do you look like you're upset?

"......something happened in those woods. After you fought the hellhounds. Someone was standing beside you. I just happened to be flying by. I couldn't get a clear glimpse and the moment I got closer, they ran away. whoever he was...he saved your life. You know there's NO cure for a hellhound wound, and you know you should've died that night. And....in a way.... you did."

I look at him starting to get a little annoyed.

What are you talking about? You're not making any sense!

He sighs.

"What I'm trying to say is- ...Whoever that was, whatever his reason to save you, it wasn't just anyone."

he falls silent, the words so hard to say.

"Grace.....you've been turned into a vampire."

I froze. the words felt like lightning.

Wh-What...? But- It- That's impossible! I-It can't be...There's no such thing as-!

before I could finish, I noticed Gabriel looked a little offended.

S-Sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

"Grace, whether you like it or not, it is possible, and it did happen to you."

my heart started to feel like it was going a hundred miles an hour, my hands started to shake, my eyes frantically darted around this way and that. Gabriel grabbed my cheek and carefully turned my head to look at him.

"calm down..." he says softly "those are just your heightened senses kicking in"

I glare at him.

Heightened senses?? I grab his shirt, annoyed, as I start to yell

I already HAVE ADHD, how much MORE heightened do my senses need to be???

my anger slowly turns to sadness as a subtle but painful thought sets in.

I-If...I really AM a vampire, then that means that-.......that means I-.....tears begin to swell as I gasp

I-I'll have to-......Gabriel frowns with a sad look in his eyes right as he pulls me into a hug.

I-I'm scared Gabriel.... I don't want to hurt anyone...

"Hey....I know. Everything's going to be ok. I have a friend who has resources that will help you. You wont ever have to hurt anyone. I promise."

he smiles as he slowly lets go.

"Now, why don't you go wash up and get into a clean change of clothes?" he smells the air as he gives me a look of disgust.

"You reek of hellhound ash."

I look up at him a little sadly before nodding my head.

"There should be a few clean clothes in box in my closet leftover from my mom, one of those is bound to fit you."

Yeah......ok.

I get up and give him one last sad look as I walk to the bathroom, contemplating the news of my new reality.

--------

I've been getting a few small ideas for some mini demon-vamp, self-insert comics, but I had a feeling I should wrap up the previous comic I made first; I decided to write it out instead of drawing it because it does feel more like banter than anything really significant happening (and it would take awhile lol)

I'm not that good at writing, but hopefully it's ok ^^

I tried my best to stick to the main story's events while still keeping it different enough to be its own thing

As always, the original demon-vamp au is by @koko-doodle , so go check it out!

[dreamhous3]

Sierra 2100, Chapter 1 (2nd Draft)

Before I start working on the fourth chapter of this story, I wanted to go back and write another draft of the first three since there has been a significant gap between each of them. My writing style has changed and improved a lot since the first and I want to use better storytelling techniques for the rest of this (For example, Heavy Metal Cvnt was for fun but also a test of internal monologues). While being able to organise what I've done so far is cool, those posts just don't represent exactly what I want for this story (I am NOT deleting them though dw). This is probably the biggest thing I'm passionate about right now, and I really really want it to be good, even if that takes ages (the first ever draft I did of this story was written in October of 2022, and it's definitely going to take a few more years before it's done). These second drafts probably won't be much different if you read the first ones but I hope you're as happy with this go around as I have been so far.

1.

Sunlight set Sophie’s sleep ablaze. She leaned out of the bed with a sigh. The bedroom's cold hue imprisoned her. 

Lights.

‘Lights!’ Sophie demanded. 

Her small apartment came to life. A hissing pot beckoned her to the kitchen. Her hands dragged as she went about her routine. From the lounge, a muffled ringing was suffocated under a throw blanket. Sophie hesitated on her way over. She let the rays pierce through the blinds and into her skin.

You’re going in today. 

The ringing kept going, but she stopped again. Every sound around her was massacred by her focus on the phone.

Pick it up!

Its thin frame slipped out of the blanket like a strand of hair. Vibrations beat against Sophie’s heartless skin. She cut off the ringing with a flick of her thumb across the screen.

‘Hey, how you doing?’ It was Vinny. 

Thank god.

‘I’m coming in today.’ Sophie blurted out.

‘You sure? Still have a few more days left. I know the chief and all that are barking about you having any, but you don’t have to come back.’ His upbeat tone was at odds with his words. 

‘I do,’ Sophie swallowed, closing her eyes, ‘I do have to. You know I hate sitting around.’

‘Ok.’ An uncomfortable pause halted the conversation. ‘Have you thought about it?’ 

‘There’s nothing left to think about.’ 

‘Sophie…’ Vinny’s voice became a whisper. 

Let him in, just a little bit. Come on.

‘Sometimes I-’ A moment flashed before her again. Autumn leaves like her eyes. A splash where monsters tread. Laughs turned to-

No, no!

‘Hey, you alright?’ 

‘Yea I…’ A sigh collided with her palm, ‘I can’t do this now. I’ll see you at work.’

‘Ok, sure. Big case for us when you get here.’ 

‘Bye.’ The phone made a short dull tone when Sophie hung up. She chucked it back on the lounge, pressed her fingers under her eyes.

Fuck… 

Then continued her undead routine. 

The conveniently close but less than preferable tram station was thankfully desolate. Announcements, distant conversations, the humm of shuttles overhead, a wash of white noise in Sophie's colourless mind. A tram interrupted it with metallic screeching, clawing to a stop. Wind waved Sophie’s wrinkled formal shirt and blazer. The leather seats amplified the passengers' slight adjustments as they slumped down. Thick windows held back the metropolis of Sierra. A colony held in the jaw of its walls, separating the sharp teeth towers. The other sections stood out like a mirage. A nice, distant dream in the expanse of a recurring nightmare. It isolated the people, but it let their lies in. They spoke in every language still around, in advertisements, billboards, posters piling and ripping over each other. It all translated into the same empty promises. Between the neon that bled all over and the giant holograms that swam and danced in it, was a city with a green heart. Sophie looked over towards the scattered passengers. Torn shorts challenged swaying business attire. Stained hoodies folded next to silk blouses. Standing in the same tram but living in different worlds. 

‘Now arriving at Lavender Square.’ A hollow voice announced.

Sophie’s body dragged her out of the tram. Once she left the station she finally woke up, stretching her shoulders up as she walked.

I’m going in today.

The precinct looked down at her from the hill it weighed down on. Its carpet rolled out in wide, sandstone steps. Between the hike and Sophie's destination, many suits on their way to better paying jobs bumped past her. Sharp eyes raised just slightly out of rare metal eyelids, stabbing at Sophie. 

Flush cunts.

Her constant glare was unchallenged. Completely different styles of architecture stuck out of the ground, forming the corporate maze of Lavender Square. Privatised destiny with an air of authoritarian politeness. The agitating atmosphere disappeared as Sophie entered the vacuum of the precinct. Large glass double doors tangoed with the stream of people leaving and entering. Inside, a girl with bright green hair stuck her head up to a distorted screen imitating a window. A wide smile pressed her cheeks into the thin frame of her glasses. 

‘Sophie! Sophie!’ She frantically waved at her, even though she already had her attention. ‘It’s so good to see you back already, I thought I’d never see your badge again.’ 

‘Me too.’ Sophie clipped her badge off her belt and held it towards the receptionist. 

A cone of bright blue light shot out of her right eye. Its glow swam through the crevices of an engraved qr code.    

Still gets to have that hair. How many years in the field and I can’t even get a piercing? 

‘And you’re good to go.’ The scan blinked away into the shell of her glasses, and her smile returned.

Cute as hell though. 

‘Thanks, anything else?’ 

‘The captain needs to see you right away.’ Her gaze fell down to her desk, but quickly shot back up, the motion lagging behind the screen. ‘Oh and…’

‘Yeah?’ Sophie was already just a few steps from the elevator.

‘Sorry about-’

‘I know.’ A deep frown partnered with her scornful tone. The elevator dinged, and Sophie twisted back towards it. She poked the button for her floor and slumped against the back of the elevator. 

God I want this day to be over already. ‘Big case’ huh? I hope he was talking about the overtime. If it's any more shakedowns with a ‘warrant’, arresting ‘potential suspects’, I’ll take this place down with me. Wish I could just skip to the part where Vinny tells me about it. Of course I have to see the big dog first though. Getting fired would honestly be better than whatever he wants. Maybe that’s it. Couldn’t leave without Vinny though, he’d never forgive me. He needs me. 

She leaned her head back and sighed.

And let's be real, I need him too. 

In her mind, the breeze washed over her again. Waves of memory crashed against that moment. The trees breathed Autumn leaves, like her-

Stop! Fucking cut it out. 

‘Ding!’ The elevator shook her back into reality.

Sophie reached her head over the sea of cubicles looking for Vinny. All she found were agitated glances back at her from a variety of metal and flesh faces. 

He said he was here…

She gave up, and turned towards the chief's office. Suddenly, a weirdly tall officer bumped past her. 

‘Who-’ She spun around to see another following him. He had a short, stumpy build. The tall one had his nametag crudely stuck to his back for some reason. Sophie leaned her head slightly

‘C. Barker’? 

‘Sophie!’ The chief barked behind her. She groaned quietly, looking down. 

Here we go.

With a dishonest smile she looked back at him and walked over. 

'Two weeks, Detective Taureau,’ He leaned forwards with a sneer, starting before Sophie even closed the door, ‘you think that’s acceptable?’

‘I was only gone for like a week and half-’

‘Sit down.’

Sophie moved the chair a noticeable distance away from his desk before sitting down.

‘You’re going to make up for that time. With what we have to compete with out there, after how much we get outdone by those suits, you shouldn’t have taken any leave at all.’ 

‘As if we don’t work for them already.’ Sophie scoffed. 

‘Learn your place, Detective!’ He speared a finger at her. ‘Take this case with Lynelle, do what you’re told. If you have to reach for a suspect, you reach. If a third party tells you back off, back off.’

‘Who’s the ‘third party’?’  

‘Vargriff industries.’ The chief sat back with a smug grin.

You pig… 

Sophie grabbed his desk and pulled herself towards him. 

‘You want me to help out some mobsters you owe money? Sure, I don’t like it, but I’m getting paid right? You want me to help some suit get away with murder? Ok boss, your call. But them? No, fuck no! Not after what they did, not ever.’ 

‘She knew the rules, Sophie.’ He restrained his voice to almost a whisper. ‘She broke them, and couldn’t handle the consequences. Tell me, can you handle the consequences?’ His demeanour was suddenly still. Sophie’s right eye twitched as she gripped the gun in her holster, 

Put it in his mouth.

squeezing so hard her wrist ached. 

Put it in his mouth.

The chief's grin grew wider.

Paint the walls-

‘Dismissed.’ He finally said after an eternity of silence. Sophie stormed out immediately, the door left helplessly swinging about.

Outside the precinct, Vinny waved at Sophie from the bottom of the steps. A labrador-like smile stretched across his rugged face. Behind him, his sleek black shuttle rested against the concrete. 

There you are.

With a very brief grin back Sophie darted down the steps towards him. 

‘Sorry, I just left my office.’ He scratched the back of his head.’ But I guess you did too, hey?’

‘Whatever,’ Sophie circled around to the otherside of the shuttle, ‘let's go already.’ She quickly slipped in, not looking at Vinny once. 

‘Sure thing.’ He reluctantly sat down after her. The outside atmosphere shrunk as his door bumped close. Sophie closed her eyes for a strangely long time.   

'Hey, you there?' Vinny poked Sophie’s shoulder. 'Did you get any sleep, like at all?'

'Yes.' The answer punched out of her mouth at him.

‘Alright, alright.’ He raised his hands. ‘You just seem to be…somewhere else.’ 

‘I wish I was.’ Sophie held the bridge of her nose. ‘Couldn’t stay there though, not right now.’ 

‘I get it, I won’t ask about it, but I understand.’ Vinny looked back at the windscreen. ‘I bet it's been a real long day for you huh? Chief chew you up on the way over?’  

‘Something like that, old prick.’  

‘That’s him alright.’ Vinny chuckled. ‘At least we only gotta see him once we’re done with this. Let’s really abuse those smoke breaks this time.’

‘If you can afford it.’ Sophie smirked at him.

‘Hey, you know I’m good for it.’ He went to speak again, but a long pause haunted the shuttle. 

Just tell him about it already-

‘So, you know who we’re dealing with?’ Vinny broke the silence.

‘Yep, Vargriff.’

‘You…ok with that?’

Absolutely not.

‘I’ll be fine, Vinny.’ She said curtly. ‘Just a part of the job.’

‘Ok, I’ll stop pestering you, sorry. Anyway, they dabble in a few things, I’m sure you know. Mostly androids- Well, probably not anymore.’

‘Does this have something to do with that?’

‘It could, but from what the first responders found, it doesn’t sound like anything new. One dead, cause of death…’ Vinny sighed, ‘complicated. That’s the ‘big’ part of this. Two missing as well, wife and kid. There’s a witness, neighbour, but she won’t talk to anyone. Pretty shaken up apparently.’

‘Doubt she’ll talk to us either, but at least we have a witness this time. Anything else?’

‘Husband was in some kind of important position in the company, don’t think we’re supposed to know what though.’ 

‘But we’ll find out anyway, won’t we?’ Sophie smiled at Vinny. 

‘Great to have you back, Detective Taureau.’ He patted her shoulder and laughed. Vinny’s shuttle stuttered to life as he turned the key. It bounced and bumped slightly as it glided through traffic. Around them, skyscrapers shrunk to office blocks, apartments, then houses. The architecture became confused. Concrete and metal brutalism was overrun by suburban brick and synthetic wood. Unused chimneys held off steel extinction, while empty parks pleaded for visitors. As they approached the crime scene, Vinny’s shuttle crawled to a stop above the road, hovering next to the curb. It lowered and pressed into the ground with a hiss. Flashing red and blue decorated the plastic white neighbourhood like Christmas lights. Section Three’s famous mediocrity waited outside. 

‘Care for a smoke, madam?’ Vinny slipped a cigarette out of his coat and pointed it at Sophie.

‘Thanks.’ She winked at him as he lit it.

‘You reckon the suits involved will show up?’

‘Definitely not. At least,’ grey waves bellowed from Sophie's exhale, ‘I hope not.’

‘Let's bet on it.’ Vinny’s lighter glowed like a candle below his face. 

‘Why?’ She laughed at him. 

‘Come on,’ He involuntarily smiled back at her. ‘have some fun with me.’

‘Ok, fine. They won’t show, no way.’ She shook her head. ‘Those stuck up cunts won’t leave their office unless it’s to cheat on their partner or harass a barista.'

‘What if the victim was a barista,’ Vinny held a fist over his mouth, ‘who spat in a suit’s coffee instead of their mouth.’ 

‘Jesus, Vinny.’ Sophie tried to look mad at him, but they both exploded into laughter anyway. They finished their cigarettes at around the same time, putting them out in a compartment underneath the radio that definitely wasn’t meant to be an ashtray. Around the borders of the scene, a few patrol cops stood guard. No civilians around for them to shove away. The police tape blinked green, revealing its holographic nature, as Sophie and Vinny entered. It’s illusion of physical tape returned once they passed it. On the front steps of the white brick home was a twisted and contorted body of a thin man. A pool of blood sat under his head dripping down to the lower steps. The other side of his head looked cindered. 

Brutal… 

There was some kind of cable port there. Charred black splotched around the implant with an edge of bright pink skin.  

'Is that a neural link?' Sophie leaned down at the corpse.

‘Yeah, pretty standard for white collar people nowadays. Requires a lot of processing power to keep up. A corp like Vargriff would have a pretty inhuman amount to manage.’ Plastic gloves slapped against Vinny’s hands as he slipped them on. He began moving the head around, inspecting the damage. 

‘Is every employee vulnerable to something like this?’ 

'Well, all I can gather from this is what happened to his temple,’ Vinny tapped the burnt port, ‘where the link was slotted.’ 

‘Lit up like a stove, but that doesn’t explain the blood from the otherside.' She leaned over his shoulder. ‘Gimme a look.’

He turned over the corpse slightly, its head rolled over. 

Damn.

The otherside was a mess. Caved in, bruised, with bits of skin and flesh torn about as if someone tried to dig into his brain. 

'Blunt force probably, quite a bit it seems.' Vinne’s thumbs pulled the skin back slightly, and the crater leaked red.

'The burn looks more settled than that wound. This happened after, definitely. Killer was either sloppy, or especially sadistic.' 

'Both good theories, but the head trauma at least could still be an accident.’ A dense bump muffled under Vinny’s boot as he tapped the steps. ‘Very thick stairs after all.' He stood up, wiping his hands nonchalantly.

'What, you think the fall did this? Do you see how much blood there is? The body is all mangled too, which could happen after falling down the stairs, but not these ones. Way too short. Also, his head is resting here,' she pointed at a lower step, 'and his body is the wrong way for him to be going down. He had to have been burnt when he was still standing at the bottom of the stairs.’

'Then he turned around, tried to get back inside to warn his family, but ended up like this.’ Vinny stopped to think, scratching his scruffy chin with his metal fingers.’ Somewhat elaborate, but I see what you mean. It would explain a few things. What an awkward position to die in. Let’s get a second opinion.' He turned to one of the cops standing guard. 'Where’s the witnesses?' 

'She’s by the patrol car next to your shuttle.' He pointed towards a frail girl with her arms crossed. Her body shivered but her expression was distinctly still. Something about her made Sophie feel a familiar dread.

That day, I held that hand, I couldn’t move… 

'Any update on the missing family?’ Sophie asked him.

'Nope, nothing. There’s plenty of photos of them all around the house. All their belongings are still here. Letters everywhere too. School fees, pricey hospital bills, stuff like that. Nothing that could tell us where they went though.' 

'Guy gets burnt, thrashed about like this and his family gets taken without a trace…' Sophie shuddered.

'Hey, don’t jump to conclusions.' Vinny poked his finger at her. 'Technically, we don’t know that they were taken, just that they’re not here.' 

'It’s so obvious-' She cut herself off and rolled her eyes. ‘We’ll see I guess.’

‘We’ll see. Come on.’ Vinny waved her over as he approached the witness. 

The girl was stuck in a loop of animated shock. Her body's movement was the only sign of any life in her. Sophie slowed as she followed behind Vinny. The body language struck the same deep place. Up close it dug ferociously. She closed her eyes for a moment. 

Yes, that happened, now do your fucking job, Sophie.

With a hard swallow, she kept moving. 

'Evenin, I’m detective Lynelle, this my partner detective Taureau. Is it ok if we ask you a few questions?' He leant forward slightly, looking down at the witness with a soft look in his eyes.

'They took a child,' She whispered, 'he saw it all.' 

'What did he see exactly?'

'He-' Her voice shot up in volume, but stopped.

'He…what?' 

'So much screaming, they kept-' She burst into tears. Her hands reached for her face, clawing at it.

'It’s alright now, just-’ Vinny scratched his head and looked back at Sophie. 'Maybe you…’  

'Whatever.' Sophie shook her head and steered him away, then slumped down to her knees. He looked down at her with a confused frown, but didn’t say anything. She looked at the witness, 

I couldn’t move-

then felt a wave of sorrow choke her. She rubbed away the blue that fell from her eyes, then took the girl's hands. They became still in Sophie's grasp. Her eyes went wide and her grip hardened. Their gaze locked together.  

'What's your name?' Sophie's question melted the ice in the air.

'Angela.' 

'I’m Sophie. Could you tell me about your day?'

'Ok,' Angela wasn’t shaking anymore, 'well I got up, I went to work, at the gas station around the- the corner. Um, and then got a railcar home and…' Her head fell and her eyelids started to twitch. 

'Don’t tell me the next part, ok?' Sophie tilted her head slightly, following Angelas. 'I just need to know what they looked like, anything you can remember at all. Can you do that for me?' 

'Ok.' Her lips disappeared for a moment. 'It was two people, a tall guy and a short guy, kind of stumpy looking. They were in a van that had his company's logo on it, Vargriff. The guy they…’ She looked away for a second, ‘he worked for them, I don't know what he did, he never talked about it, I just know he worked there.' She looked at Sophie with shaky eyes. 

'Tall guy and a Stumpy, rigid guy?' 

'Uh, yeah. Shorter one made some joke about the tall guy's name tag or something like that.' 

C. Barker... 

‘Did they look like cops?’ The question shot out of Sophie.

‘Hold on, hold on,’ Vinny grabbed her shoulder, ‘what do you mean did they-’

‘Back off a second.’ Sophie's growling eyes swung at Vinny. He raised his hands and moved back slightly. 

‘I don’t…’ Angela started shaking again. ‘They were wearing vests and-’ Her eyes darted left and right.

‘What else?’ Sophie's grip became tighter than Angelas. 

‘Badges!’ She blurted out. ‘It was dark, but I saw their badges.’

Bingo. 

‘Goddamnit…’ Vinny turned away from them. 

‘Thank you, Angela.’ Sophie stroked her face after a long pause. ‘Come with me.’ 

‘Wait wait, please don’t kill- I won’t tell anyone,’ Angela started to cry again, ‘please don’t…please!’

‘We’re not going to,’ Vinny placed his hand on his gun, looking back at his colleagues, ‘but they might.’ 

‘Cover us, I’ll start the shuttle once we-’ 

Two cracks pierced the air. A round ricocheted off the patrol car behind them. Sophie yanked Angela down with her next to the shuttle. Six more shots screamed in the air, echoed in the bounce of spent shells. Sophie leaned down, peeping under the shuttle. She saw three officers fall down one after the other. One put a hand over a hole in his head before smacking hard against the ground. 

'You good Vinny?' Sophie shot a glance downward to check if she was hit.  

Nothing, phew. 

'I’m good,' He coughed, ‘fuck! Second shot hit me, I think.' 

Sophie looked over the hood to see a hole in Vinny’s vest, and she launched towards him.

'Stay down and cover Angela alright? Don’t move!' Sophie threw him down next to the curb side of the patrol car and opened a door to give him light cover. 

'Nah I got you Sophie,' He struggled to get back up, 'It’s just my plate. Oh man…' 

Before she could argue she heard footsteps behind them. Angla screamed. Darting back around, she saw another cop rushing them. Crack, flash, smack. A shotgun bounced towards them, a shoreline of blood kissed its stock. 

'I’m going to push ahead.' Red and blue lights spiralled softly over Sophie’s face. For a moment a still silence washed over. The click of her boots echoed as she swung her pistol between one side of the street and the other, watching the other patrol cars. What looked like a rifle stuck out in the corner of her vision. She opened fire in its direction. A burst of shots flung upwards, shattering a street light above Sophie. Fluorescent glass rained on her. While she desperately tried to shake it off another cop tackled her to the ground. She swung around, grabbed his wrist. Glass crunched between her palm and his skin. The cop yelled in pain. Sophie pressed her gun under his chin. He pressed his against her chest. Three shots. Thump. Sophie groaned as she pulled herself up.

First day back…shit.

She turned to see the aftermath. Vinny was leaning against the same car door, its window now shattered. 

'Like I said, I got…you.’ His head waved around for a second. 

'Jesus, Vinny.' Sophie pulled him in close. ‘I told you not to move.’

‘It’s alright, I didn’t get hit,’ He chuckled, ‘a second time. You ok?’

‘Yea, I’m ok.’ Sophie’s sigh brushed by his ear. ‘Thanks, man.’

‘Well, this is nice but,’ Vinny tapped Sophie's shoulder, ‘my ribs are killing me and that glass isn’t helping.’

‘Oh, I-’ It cracked against the ground as they separated. ‘Sorry about that.’ 

Sirens swam towards them, howling between the night silence. Vinny shook his head and leaned over.

'We got another minute right? I just need another-'

'No Vinny, we’re going.' She snapped at him, pulling him by his arm to the shuttle.

[metamoonshots]

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[deafearsdiary]

A Love I don't Want to Lose

Earlier tonight, I was talking to someone about unconditional love. Actually, we were talking about cheating on the person you choose to spend your life with. Unconditional love just made its way into the conversation. Naturally, what we were speaking about made me think of you. I find it funny that I think of you like I'm expecting for this relationship between us to come about the way I fantasize it. It's sad really. I don't know why I do. But I think I do it because everyday I try to not want you. I try to not think about you day in and day out. To not let everything remind me of you. Because I don't want to hurt my own feelings when things don't go the way I want them to. So what I do is I try and look for things to get my brain to understand why we aren't together. Why we wouldn't work.

You see, everything about you might be good for me, at least the things that I've experienced to make me fall in love with you are. I could write a list but for time's sake (and because I'm really tired), we'll just condense it to everything about you. Except for one thing. That thing, is what I think might be what keeps us apart. You see, I want to be the only one for you. But that's not how you roll. I don't know the reason why you entertain so many females at once, but I don't want a life like that. I want a life being happy with my spouse. I know you want to be happy too, who doesn't? But maybe your happiness and my happiness look different. The way that I am, I want to basically be the center of someone's world. I don't want to just be at the top of the list. I don't even want a list to exist. And I think that men that have lived their lives with a list, can never burn the list and just focus on one girl. I'm not faulting you for wanting more than one, I know that's how y'all are made, but not all of y'all.

I want so badly for you to surprise me. I want so badly for me to be the person that changes you, that makes you want to be different. And better. And I know that God can do anything. But it'd be naive of me to pray for that sort of thing. To pray that you'd change, and sign your heart to me. I bet it would feel so good to be the only one getting loved unconditionally by you. But I know that's not how you are. Maybe you just like options. Or the feeling it gives you to be loved by multiple women at once. Or you like getting women to fall in love with you because you're so good at it. But I can't be one of those women. I have to choose my sanity and happiness. I can't feel like I'm losing you again. And I can't feel like I don't matter. Because that's how it feels when I'm just a name on a list. I feel expendable. Unimportant. Unloved. Small. Ugly. Especially when I love so hard and deeply. I put my all into it. I don't want to feel insignificant in the end. For me to feel like the thing that you told me that made me so happy, and smile for weeks meant nothing. Because you probably said it to seven other girls. And they felt exactly what I felt. It's not genuine, or original. It just feels offensive.

I'm sorry that I'm this way, but it's just how I am. Maybe it's because I'm the youngest sibling so I never really had much of my own. Everything was a hand-me-down, or taken from me. I had to share almost everything, and even when I had crushes they'd prefer my sisters over me. I just want my significant other to be for me. I don't want their love to come with all these conditions. I don't want to have to get you to understand that when you love others like you love me, it just makes me feel like I've been stolen from. Robbed of my most prized possession, and you gave the OK. I want you to see my worth. Be satisfied with my love and companionship, and not feel like it's not enough.

And for me to feel like this, and want this, I shouldn't want to do that to anyone else. I can't be hypocritical, I can't try and take what isn't mine. I'm going to do my best and back off. And when I have my moments of weakness, I'm going to remember how I want to be loved. I'm going to remember how badly I want your love to myself. And how I would never want a heart that I thought was in my possession to be taken by someone that wants to experience the love you give. I'm going to pray I get the love I want, and that the love I want wants me.

But I'm also going to keep hoping. Hoping that you're different from what I see. Hoping that you've changed. Hoping that you'll read these and rescue me. Hoping that the scenarios I come up with have some truth to them. Hoping that I'll get that huge romantic gesture that I so desperately want. Hoping that you'll put effort into me, and show me, and only me, the love that you claim is already imbedded in your heart.