#(it isn't really but i respect anyone with a blocklist who would not want to see posts like this)

[primrose-path-of-dalliance]

alright. [claps hands together and rubs them] time to be positive for you guys!

specifically, i want to talk about one sweet conversation from e121: between yasha and jester during their nighttime watch.

to preface, i see yasha as the biggest caleb stan in the party who actually understands his internal conflicts and turmoil (and caleb feels similarly for yasha). veth loves the man and has supported him in just about every endeavour as the most enthusiastic and confident, but one journey she has never been able to accompany him on is the violent guilt, depression, and trauma of being a now-repentant war criminal lol. yasha and caleb’s conversation in e92 illustrated quite plainly that this shared understanding would be the foundation of their friendship. the ending of e106, when caleb tells yasha to “let herself some happiness” and she hugs him, cements this deeply.

to reflect on their conversation in e92, though: yasha knows that caleb is in love with someone, and that they’re a woman. ashley made some gestures to obfuscate at the time, reminding everyone that neither of them elaborated on who they were thinking of.

but i believe she knows caleb is in love with jester. the timing of e92 is conspicuous when it’s directly after e91, when caleb took jester aside before they went to bed and reassured her about travelercon/the traveler. while it followed the scene of nott’s kiss with caleb as well, what’s notable is how little of that scene had to do with caleb’s potential feelings. a major image of lollipops and hamster-unicorns and saying you’ve been working on it for weeks, then stuttering on “you have done so much for m—all of us” (as if about to say ‘me’ instead) is a little different.

but prim, yasha wasn’t there for that scene, you might say. how does this matter? well, caleb and jester's conversation wasn’t that private. he caught her in a hallway, where nott had been as well before excusing herself. my suspicion has to do with the fact that yasha peeking out of her room and accidentally overhearing and/or seeing some of that conversation is very much in the realm of possibility.

anyway, to my point!

let’s assume yasha knows that caleb is in love with jester. the curious dilemma is that caleb very clearly does not want to address it. his reaction to her question in e92 alarmed her—and she apologized. the fact that she has yet to bring it up again, either to him or to anyone else, suggests that she’s trying to recognize and respect his boundaries here.

in this context, yasha’s responses to jester re: her burgeoning relationship with fjord are intriguing. some relevant quotes (transcribed to the best of my ability):

YASHA: How do you feel about him [Fjord]?

JESTER: I mean... [She pauses to think, smiling.] He... It—it kind of feels different than I thought it would? After all of the books that I read, you know? Like it feels like... like we know each other really well. In all those books that I read, it’s two strangers coming together and forging this passionate affair! And it—[with laughter] it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like... like it feels comfortable instead?

YASHA: Hm...

JESTER: But in a good way?

YASHA: Well, from my experience—which is not a lot—I’ve found that... that passion and the love for somebody sort of is stronger the more you know them and the more you love them and... you know, I read—I read books, but I don’t feel like it’s ever really like that. It’s better.

[...]

YASHA: Well, I’m excited for you. No pressure, whatever happens. But... how beautiful, to explore those things.

compared to jester’s own excitement about yasha and beau, yasha does not express any similar excitement for fjord. her side of the conversation is instead focused on jester's experience.

this deliberate omission of any expectations on yasha’s side can be taken in a few ways. yasha clearly understands that this is a dynamic jester is excited to explore and is doing so for the first time. to emphasize that there’s “no pressure” is almost certainly because she wants to reassure jester that she’s willing to support her no matter what.

through a widojest lens, though—mine specifically—this also reads as yasha hedging her support of jester in a relationship with fjord specifically. although she won’t out caleb, so to speak, or betray what he told her in confidence, she is trying to maintain her support of him by being reserved on fjord and jester’s developing relationship.

to push this further, her response to jester’s assessment of a lack of ‘passion’ in their relationship so far is curious for how hesitant it is. to requote:

YASHA: Well, from my experience—which is not a lot—I’ve found that... that passion and the love for somebody sort of is stronger the more you know them and the more you love them and... you know, I read—I read books, but I don’t feel like it’s ever really like that. It’s better.

again, this can be understood in multiple ways. from one angle, this could be interpreted as both a reassurance and promise of things to come should they continue. the implication is that jester and fjord’s relationship has only just begun, so perhaps things will change as time passes and they grow closer.

from a widojest perspective, yasha’s hesitant response reads like a subtle warning. it suggests that if jester and fjord really do know each other so well already, then the passion should be there. if it isn’t, then how much does jester really romantically love fjord?

personally, i’m sitting here with a bag of popcorn eager to discover how jester grows into the kind of woman she wants to be. i adore yasha for being in the same boat, and i’m excited to find out if my widojest bias is in the right too.