#(i've tried it when I was in London I can be a hater)

[seabeck]

When did the "chemicals in food bad" crowd move onto Tumblr

[moonlitlex]

ok. final thoughts on doctor who season 14 (2024) (because maybe if i say all of this i will finally stop thinking about how much i hate this season)

short version: i'm this season's biggest hater. if this season has a million haters im one of them. if this season has 1000 haters i'm still one of them. if this season has one hater it's me. if this season has no haters it means i have left this world. if the world is against this season i am with the world

long & nuanced version (under the cut)

i'm just really, really, really disappointed. i've always said that good writing can redeem any project, and it kind of feels like they just took it in the exact opposite direction this time. there's so much that went wrong and like 99% of it is down to the writing. i did a rant on my youtube channel (which i'm not gonna link here because i want to keep these accounts separate) and it was like an hour long so i'm not gonna go into detail but i'll just go over my main issues with this season

fifteen lacks depth. i think he's a very generic doctor lacking his own eccentricities. after the first season the doctor usually has quite a distinct personality, but i don't think we got that with fifteen. just compare the kind of characterization fifteen has at this point to like... eleven in his first season. he was a lot more fleshed out. we got to see multiple facets of his personality. it seems like they tried this with fifteen but everything we got to see ended up being really surface level. the susan thing just kind of happens. the rogue thing just kind of happens. he faces racism and he's just kind of incredulous and then the episode ends. it's not explored. the show just moves on to the next thing and we don't get to see how he deals with it.

ruby lacks depth. similarly, i think ruby is a very generic companion. she's a young woman from present day london which isn't in and of itself a bad thing but it's not backed up by much. like, what do we actually know about ruby? she's adopted? she was left on a church doorstep by her biomom? she loves her mom but is still disappointed she can't find her bio parents? these are all plot relevant things. what do we know about her outside of the stuff that is necessary for the plot? job? friends? life before the doctor? there are a few tiny glimpses, but not enough to make her a developed character.

fifteen and ruby's relationship is boring. they never fight. they never disagree. they never argue. they're never angry with each other. they never challenge each other on anything. they're shown to have this amazing best-friend rapport but it's never developed or fleshed out. it just kind of happens. one second they're meeting and the next second they're bffs who never disagree about anything and are always on the same page. it's just not an interesting dynamic.

i found ten and donna to be a very compelling dynamic but that's because they actually have a real friendship and have to deal with conflict and challenges and disagreements. times when the doctor and companion challenge each other are interesting. this is a feature of some really beloved doctor who stories for a reason. dalek wouldn't be so well loved if rose just agreed with nine the entire time. the conflict makes the story more compelling. meanwhile ruby can't even muster an ounce of discontentment with fifteen for the entire season.

season finale payoffs were not compelling and are in my opinion a result of prioritizing shock and surprise and social media buzz at time of release over telling an interesting story.

sutekh is not automatically a compelling villain and the way that arc is written is so... bland. he appears and kills everyone and the next episode they just hit the reset button. fine, doctor who has done this before, but there was interesting character writing back then to distract you from the baffling story decisions.

the season 3 finale had flying jesus ten but it also had interesting character dynamics. this one had sutekh defeated in the most confusing way possible (if he got his power from the time vortex why is it killing him now....) but there's barely anything going on in the character department. it's rtd so i expected hamfisted deus ex machinas, but i didn't expect the lack of care on the character front.

the susan thing was just... it came out of nowhere, didn't really make much sense, and then it immediately disappeared. the doctor thinking it's his susan was just confusing for me and it didn't land. like why would susan.... do that? why would she be basically following him around the universe by weaving herself into the scenery everywhere he landed? this is never even addressed. they just get the tardis anagram and he immediately jumps to it being his susan and you're not really sure why he's so convinced and it's never really explained.

ruby's mom being a normal woman literally just doesn't make any sense. it's never explained. "we thought she was really important" doesn't just do all the inexplicable things. why and how is ruby able to make it snow if her mom is just a normal person? why does the song in his soul scare maestro so much? why is sutekh of all people unable to figure out who her mother is? the reveal is played as a criticism of the audience for building up ruby's mom to be this huge mystery, but it wasn't the audience doing this - it was the writers. these are the clues they laid out and they're never explained. "doctor who is more fantastical now" also doesn't make any sense. fantasy has rules too. you can't just do whatever you want. the world still has to be internally consistent. the reveal by itself is a nice moment but it's just disappointing that they decided to laugh at the audience for taking their show seriously.

i've seen a lot of people compare ruby's mom thing with clara's impossible girl thing. i would like to point out 2 differences that make clara's impossible girl arc superior. first - clara's impossible girl arc never tries to weasel its way out of the mystery. the point is that who clara is is more important than the mystery surrounding her. ruby's mom mystery tries to erase the mystery entirely. second - clara's impossible girl arc is resolved the way it is because of clara. clara is a person who takes an action because of who she is. it shows courage and selflessness and care for her friend. ruby's mom mystery is solved by ruby and the doctor finding a database where they can match ruby's dna to her mom's. it doesn't say anything about her character. her character is irrelevant to the resolution.

i've also seen it compared to the hybrid thing from season 9, but with the hybrid there was never anything unexplainable happening in the first place so "it was just the characters obsessing about it all along" makes sense because it literally is just the characters bringing up the hybrid all the time.

the individual episodes are not... good. here are my opinions on each of them

church on ruby road - ok introduction, weird pacing, the goblin song was just tonally off compared to the rest of the episode

space babies - genuinely makes the doctor seem like a sadistic asshole at times like he keeps laughing at the literal babies for being scared of the monster and this is played for laughs (???), boogeyman reveal thing literally came out of nowhere there was no setup and it made no sense and was never really explained, a lot of tonal whiplash in this episode, poor exposition choices at the start

devils chord - maestro was a fun performance but nothing else about this episode is interesting, there are no beatles, the 4th wall breaks are tonally inconsistent with the rest of the season

boom - ruby gets sidelined but making ncuti act without being able to move any of his body slaps as a concept and while it was too on the nose, the thematic messaging aspects of this episode are coherent and don't talk down to the audience, some side characters get to be relevant to the story and moderately developed (mundy, splice, the dad), splice's actor was far too old to be delivering those lines and it didn't land well, the dad ai defeating the ambulance ai was a bit too much but was in line with the power of love and faith theme so i'm conflicted on how i feel about that

73 yards - did nothing right. there are a few minutes of good welsh folk horror at the start before that aspect of the story is undermined by those people in the pub. ruby gets no character development. the horror atmosphere is abandoned at the start and the horror concept is abandoned entirely partway through the story in favour of the political stuff with roger ap gwilliam, which is kind of resolved in a really anticlimactic scene which doesn't matter anyway because everything just gets undone at the end of the episode. there are no answers.

it's not a good horror story because 90% of it isn't horror. it's not a good political drama because nothing happens. it's not a good character study because we don't get to know anything about ruby's character. i genuinely think rtd has forgotten the kind of stuff he's written because he called this the best thing he's ever written and it's literally not even in the top 10 doctor who episodes he's ever written. like midnight is right there. the waters of mars is RIGHT THERE. this episode is all setup and no payoff.

also - i might just be autistic, but the "can i pay with my phone" joke doesn't land because not everyone can actually accept digital payments yet! it's like... an extremely normal question to ask. i literally ask all the time unless i see an "apple pay accepted" sign because sometimes the answer is "no, we only take cash or card". i know it was supposed to be something about how ruby thinks she's in the past or welsh people getting wrongly stereotyped for being backward but maybe rtd should've come up with a line that would actually be offensive and not just a completely normal thing to ask in 2024.

dot and bubble - this is probably my most controversial take. i hate this episode. i think it's a poorly written bad episode. and furthermore i think only people who are disconnected from all discussion around racism think it's got genuinely good commentary. for MOST of this episode, it's a "kids be on they damn phones" thing. like, genuinely. lindy can't even WALK without her phone. there's nothing in the episode to tip us as the audience off to the idea that the dots hate them because they're racist. everything in the episode is pointing at "the dots hate them because they're stupid as fuck because they're always on that damn phone".

lindy at first seems like a flawed but sympathetic character, and this could genuinely have worked with the racism commentary. if it's about them being racist cause they're sooooooo fucking stupid, maybe don't have lindy be an irredeemable extremely racist character who kills someone. maybe she's repeating all the rhetoric she's heard her entire life without ever thinking about it. maybe trying to convince her racist friends to give the doctor a chance gets her socially isolated. maybe it's about echo chambers and social bubbles. maybe lindy as an individual has no malicious intent either way but she still behaves in a racist way and still ends up siding with the racists because they're her friends and she wants to fit in and be part of the in group and trying to not be racist because the doctor seemed kinda nice got her socially ostracized so she perpetuates racism regardless. but none of this is what happens. this is a reading you can get out of it if you're really dedicated to reading into a story written by a guy who doesn't give a shit about racism.

lindy and all her friends are stupid and bad and racist and the doctor is still desperate to save them for some fucking reason and he doesn't even get to SAY anything to them, he just laughs incredulously and that's his entire reaction. the commentary in this episode is baby's first lesson on racism. it's a message of "racism is bad and stupid" tacked onto an episode with a message of "being on your phone is bad and stupid".

it's shallow. it has nothing to say. it's very clearly a story about racism written by a white man who has never had to even think about racism. the entire writer's room for this season was white as well. rtd didn't even think he should maybe consider giving the racism episode to a black writer. he just wrote a full episode where the message is "racism is bad you guys" and patted himself on the back for his social commentary. i think it's embarrassing that people praise this episode for opening their eyes to racism in the real world and helping them understand it better. literally all that tells me is they've been closing their eyes and covering their ears every time a person of colour talks about racism. like black fans have literally been talking about racism in doctor who for decades and clearly none of you listened to any of them because you're here watching an episode with an "omg racism is bad guys" message going "wow, i never though about it like that!" that's because you're an asshole.

"wow i didn't even notice that everyone in this episode is white!" that's because that's not out of the ordinary for doctor who. or for television in general. this isn't revolutionary commentary. it's an indictment of the season 14 writer's room that they thought they could write this episode without even taking a look around their own writer's room and thinking "huh, everyone here is white too. maybe we should try to change that." this show has been predominantly white for MOST of its history. i'm a huge critic of the chibnall era but at least that guy hired poc to write for the show. at least the bad racism commentary in rosa (which was, to remind you, "the future racist is wrong. racism is bad. also the entire civil rights movement was basically a happy accident") was written by a black woman. at least the weird british empire glorifying shit in the partition episode was written by an indian man (to be clear, stuff written by poc also deserves to be criticized. my point is just that at least chibnall had the basic common sense to hire people who knew more than him to write these stories). rtd didn't even consider this. not even a cowriter.

it's just embarrassing to watch white fans falling over themselves analyzing how this episode is soooo deep when it's simply not. racism isn't silly goofy stupid. it's dangerous. it gets people killed every day. it's even more ridiculous that the racism is addressed in the future episode but not anywhere else! fifteen goes to 60s england and... nothing. he goes to 1800s england and nothing. sure, future people are racist. whatever. are we seriously sanitizing the real, actual, real life racist past of britain? and then patting ourselves on the back for it? and ricky september being considered not racist? like, reading a book doesn't suddenly make you not racist. racist people aren't necessarily idiots. plenty of highly educated people are racist. making ricky explicitly racist while also a clearly smart character would have added nuance to this episode, but rtd didn't do that. watching a black man beg and plead with rich racist white kids to please let him save their lives is just... ridiculous.

there are countless (and i do mean countless) works by actual people of colour that discuss racism in a far more nuanced way. that go beyond "racism is bad and racist people are stupid". there are specifically black british shows you can watch that actually address racism and have real commentary on it outside of what you would expect a toddler who has just learnt about prejudice to say. shows that aren't about coddling while people. watch shows made by and for people who aren't white. read books written by and for people who aren't white. and don't just watch and read this stuff to "educate yourself" on other people's experiences. watch it because it's art. because it's entertaining or funny or interesting or dramatic, just like stories that are about white people are allowed to be. and stop praising an episode with a racism is bad message for being good racism commentary. seriously. we already know racism is bad. this is embarrassing for you.

dot and bubble was a "kids be on they damn phones episode" with "racism is so bad guys" tacked onto it and white fans fell over themselves explaining how it opened their eyes and it was so deep and meaningful and powerful and it was none of those things. it was bland and shallow and honestly really boring they spend WAY too long hitting us over the head with how the kids are so stupid cause they're on their damn phones. you should be embarrassed. if this episode was the first thing that made me realize racism exists and is bad you couldn't waterboard that out of me. grow up.

rogue - rogue was an underdeveloped jack harkness ripoff, there's no development of the relationship between him and the doctor, ruby got nothing to do, the proposal came out of nowhere, the chuldurs were an interesting concept but they literally didn't even do any of the larping they were there for apart from the one who was lady emily. murder is not a prominent part of bridgerton or similar regency era romances that they were supposedly there to cosplay

legend of ruby sunday - this episode is literally 99% exposition. like i'm not joking. there's exposition and exposition and exposition for the whole episode and at the end sutekh appears and kills everyone. also "i will kill everyone" is like. not a compelling motivation. doctor who is full of guys who want to kill everyone. there's nothing making sutekh particularly scary or compelling apart from the fact that he thanos snapped the whole universe and that's also not particularly scary or compelling because he spares the main characters AND because you know they're gonna hit the comic book reset button next episode. sutekh being attached to the tardis since pyramids of mars is unconvincing personally (it would've made more sense if it was since wild blue yonder)

empire of death - ??????? ruby's mom is just a normal woman. they leash sutekh like a dog and drag him through the time vortex which kills him for some reason and also hits reset on his kill switch for the whole universe and that just fixes everything. ruby calls her biomom her real mom instead of carla which just really rubbed me the wrong way. she exits the tardis to stay with her family and it's... fine. you never see why ruby and the doctor were attached to each other so them saying goodbye doesn't hit home. nothing happens and then suddenly everything happens. the fact that the reveal is unconvincing makes the whole thing worse.

conclusion: i think rtd ran out of ideas for doctor who. i think he shouldn't have come back. i think the 60th specials were season 4 fanfiction. i think they should've given the showrunner position to a different writer entirely. i think 8 episodes is far too short for a doctor who season (flux being an exception because it was one ongoing story). i think the bigger budget and better production value can't save a show with poor writing. i think gatwa and gibson are acting their hearts out and i wish they had better material because i really like both of them in these roles. i'm also kind of sick of murray gold's music at this point. he won't let emotional moments just sit and it's really annoying how every time anything happens there's a swell of music. i think rtd should give up on racism commentary and just hire someone else who can do it justice if he really wants it to be in his show. i think rtd should shift focus back to the characters and their interpersonal relationships because that's what he's good at and his plot resolutions have always been underwhelming deus ex machinas. i think they should give this show more episodes. i think they should change the broadcasting times to be a better slot in the uk and the episode should go up on streaming at the same time or after it airs. this season has little glimpses of potential (some of boom, first few minutes of 73 yards, episode concepts in general are quite interesting, more fantasy in doctor who is a fun concept) but squanders all of it with flat characters. i started dreading watching the next episode after a while because i kept hoping it would be good and then i would hate it.

but i still care too much about doctor who to not watch the show so i guess i'll be here this time next year picking season 15 apart. woo.

[pocket-lin]

hii <3

4, 11, 16 and 19 for the fandom asks??

(almost just wrote a plea for you to answer all of them but managed to restrain myself😅)

hi hi hi!! thank you for asking me these, this is so much fun!! reading back on these answers after I've written them is shocking because I really can just go on and on about stuff, huh? I really don't talk that much irl so I didn't know I had all this in me hahaha I'm so sorry!! I'm actually so embarrassed 😅 I'm gonna put the answer to 11 in a separate post so I can actually attach the picture I'm proud of!

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

the one ship that's jumping out to me is dramione. I am a huge hater of this ship (sorry sorry sorry if you're reading this and it's your thing I love you and support you!!!) but you guys make some really cool shit and I'm happy you have a community you can share it with!! I've poked around in the ao3 and tumblr tags and its absolutely not for me, but there's some really beautiful and horny stuff out there for this ship and I so genuinely love that for all of you!

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

if I'm being totally honest with you, I haven't interfaced with the harry potter canon in a very long time. i already own all the movies and books and stuff, so I wouldn't even be giving jk money by rewatching/reading them, but it just kind of makes my stomach hurt when I think about supporting her in some way. I've had to work through a lot of complicated feelings in regards to jk and harry potter in general, as I'm sure many people have had to do! her words and actions and how I feel about it are not complicated at all, but what to do in the aftermath of it was something I had to figure out. I mean, I have a hp tattoo on my ankle!! my pinned post is about this specifically, but where I've ultimately landed on it all is this: I don't want to let her steal any more joy from me than she already has. there are so many queer and trans people in this fandom creating such incredible stuff, and I just don't want to lose that! I got off on a whole tangent here and definitely have a lot more I could say on the topic, BUT all this to say, I can't really think of tiny hp details anymore!! and in this specific fandom, I'm totally okay with that!

19. your current fandom(s)

the fandom that I interact with the most is definitely harry potter, but I have a bunch of other stuff I'm super into!!

the whole reason I got back into any fandom–and the entire reason I logged back into Tumblr for the first time since 2018–was because of our flag means death!! I've loved rhys darby since flight of the conchords and was so pumped that he was a lead in an hbo show! I was totally shocked when ofmd turned out to not be queerbait!! something about that first season just flipped a switch in me and I looked for fan fiction for the first time in like, 10 years!! I actually didn't even know about ao3 and tried to go to ff.net and it was a whole thing. getting back into fandom was very intimidating, I'm not gonna lie. (wow I really could just talk forever huh?)

my other fandoms are: the sandman, the witcher, good omens (I was so late to that show but jumped on right before the second season completely on accident), check please!, disco elysium, red dead redemption (especial rdr2), the x files, the walking dead, the rivers of london series, and d&d: honor among thieves.

and then there's some stuff that I don't even know how I got into!! like, the spideypool ship. gang, I've barely seen any marvel movies, I haven't read very many marvel comic books. and I honestly don't plan it because I just don't like marvel (once again, could go on about this forever, I was a manager at my local comic shop and have many opinions). but someone I follow posted about a fic (and I am not immune to beautiful fan art) and then I fell down the rabbit hole!! def have recs if anyone is interested!

another one is the ted lasso fandom. I genuinely don't remember why we never finished watching the second season but then the reviews for the third season was kinda mixed so I never went back to it. and then I saw a writer I'm head over heels for had a ted lasso fic (other lives by @andthepeople) and WHOOPS I fell down another rabbit hole!! i also have ted lasso recs!

essentially, if ya boy's read/watched/listened to something, you know he's gonna go look at what the freaks (affectionate) are posting on ao3.

[azuresins]

*Builds a blanket fort, crawls inside, puts up a sign that says "Grelle Haters/transphobes do not interact with this post I am TALKING TO MYSELF PLEASE BE NORMAL THANK YOU*

This was pointed out a long, long time ago but it's never left my mind.

One thing I do miss about the anime adaptation S1, are a few of the filler-moments and Grelle interactions, specifically during the time when Grelle and Ciel were 'teaming up'... Ciel promised Grelle that if she helped him, Grelle could do anything they wanted with Sebastian.

And Grelle's immediate response was "...Even a kiss/kissing?" ... people, and even people who have worked on kuro content like the musicals, Season 2 (GODDDD), and other random material that's technically official... have been kind of quick to paint Grelle as this huge scary pervert, simply because what... They're outside of gender norms and that's what makes them predatory? Not that I dunno, they befriended a serial killer, and killed people who weren't supposed to die?

Ciel seemed pretty happy to allow Grelle full permission and access to do whatever they wanted with Sebastian and it doesn't really matter if he intended to make good on the promise or not, the point is all Grelle asked for was a kiss. They didn't ask to fuck him, some hot and steamy night or whatever (and we all know Sebastian fucks) they only asked for a simple kiss.

That's pretty innocent, all things considered. I think... she talks a big talk and walks a big walk, but she's probably a virgin, and after the laughs deep down she's actually extremely careful with her body, and who she takes to bed. IF she takes anyone to bed- I'm not actually sure she does, or not. I haven't seen a TON of fanwork, reflecting that very often and I can't say I blame fans for reacting that way because there's so much Grelle content out there but not much of it is connected to Manga canon at all... I just feel like that was a nice choice, on the part of the writers of S1.

It also warmed my stupid cold heart when Grelle stumbled upon a baby crying during the fire in london, and knelt to acknowledge it and tell it that she's not allowed to take it's life, just yet. People I think misunderstood that interaction and assumed they were being cruel or something-- I interpreted it as them acknowledging the infant and gently telling them, it wasn't their time, therefore it's possible someone else off camera rescued the baby and it got to live it's life. Some people are just really quick to assume the worst of them and I'm pretty sure 'degenerate' has been used to describe them before and I don't think that's fair, and I also don't see it.

When people pointed out in the past "but but but but Grelle tries to touch people without permission!" I take it with such a fat fucking huge grain of transphobic salt, because Madame Red full on rubs Sebastian's entire ass, RACHEL thought nothing of squeezing her own sisters tits, Sieglinde gropes Our!Ciel, I have NO idea whats going on with "Freckles/ Freckle Face" and their gender but they takes Our!Ciel's hand and make him grab their tit, and then there's all the filthy things Sebastian does. Not to mention the actual cultists/rapists, and kelvin who is an actual disgrace and sick fuck and Lao????????? I'm?????

Grelle all things considered is like THE LAST person in this manga I'd call a pervert. I know S1 isn't canon, and the plot kind of went off the rails... but I actually really liked those choices. PUT THEM BACK. 😠

In the manga and in official art drawn by Yana, I've noticed over the years Grelle has been drawn significantly more feminine, people who have never seen Grelle before can look at these pictures and not distinguish them from a cis woman... and I think that's a very nice choice, I just hope that we get more canon interactions with Grelle on a bit more of a personal level the way we did in S1, seeing as they're one of Kuro's more popular characters.

I find it an interesting choice that Othello has been just about the only character shown so far, that appears to be the most gentlemanly/respectful of her (and also hasn't tried to fight her/beat her lol) and for that reason... I think they're kind of cute, together and I hope they continue to be teamed up even if Grelle doesn't appear impressed or interested, I simply... can not unsee it. I am looking, I am NOTICING... very hard, and very respectfully in that ships direction even if it's kind of a rarepair and one-sided on Othellos part.

If William can stop beating her up for comic relief, that'd be great... but maybe I hope for too much. I think it'd be super, super, super funny if Grelle was gone for a few months, completed their transition and suddenly William fell all over his own ass and turned into a stuttering moron (because shes too beautiful) she was just, "Hiiii Will~ Gonna hit me again for filing my paperwork late? God forbid women do ANYTHING." And he was just. "Uh. --I'm.. -- No. That's enough. ////" I can see it very vividly in my head.

Anyway every time I talk about Grelle I get some weirdo in my askbox but I've been holding these thoughts in for quite some time...//////////

[hauntedwitch04]

Hi 👋🏼 for Angsty Sunday can you do number 12 with timothee chalamet?

Author’s note: Hi love, I’m so sorry to be this late, but I really have an hard time with organizing school and all. Hope you like it. Have a great day!

Themed masterlist I Themed Days I Join Taglist I  Angsty Sunday

"Why did you choose me?“ "You know very well why, [NAME].”

I didn't want our relationship to become public, for that very reason. Timmy and I have been together for almost two years now, but ever since we started dating we decided to keep our story out of the reach of fans. At least until a few days ago. We were walking around London and didn't notice that someone was taking pictures of us as we were walking around the city hand in hand, kissing a few times. Needless to say, the internet literally exploded at the news that Timothèe Chamalet finally had a girlfriend. Many were happy to know that their favorite actor had found someone, others on the contrary did nothing but negative comments on our couple, and this makes me feel very bad. In these days I read every post, comment and article and the comments of the haters only increased my fear of not being enough for him. 

Obviously I tried to keep this uneasiness of mine from him, but I couldn't do anything but push away even, and this makes me feel even worse, because the only thing I would need would be a hug from him. Today I'm on the couch reading yet another insult towards me, when I hear someone occupying the space next to me. I look up and see Timmy looking at me worriedly. 

"Honey, what is it?You're weird these days, I see you sad and distant, and I don't know if it's something I've done. Please talk to me, I want to help you." He says in a heartbroken tone as he takes my hands in his. 

I remain quite silent for quite a while until I decide to confess everything to him. I take a deep breath and begin to speak. 

"Why did you choose me?“ He looks at me for a moment, not understanding, then replies. 

"You know very well why, doll. Because I love you, and there isn't a person I wouldn't want to be with right now. Why do you ask? What happened that made you doubt that?" I look at him for a second and then burst into tears. Between sobs I try to tell him the story and he immediately reassures me, saying not to listen to these idiots and that they were just jealous of what we had. 

"I'm proud that you were able to open up to me, and allow me to help you, but please don't shut me out anymore, I'm here specifically to help you." I stare at him one more time and nod. "I wish I could have kept you safe from this world a little longer, I know how horrible it can be." He continues as he gently strokes my back with his hand, making me fall asleep as I forget all the problems that were crowding my mind before. 

Taglist 

• @rainelikerain • @shadowolf993 • @goldenharrysworld • @xoxoloverb • @s-we-e-t-t-ea • @ethereal-lovers • @nyx2021 • @uwiuwi • @vjmoral  • @hp-mcu-fan 

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Nancy

Rio: You know Rio: If you like, I could sleep with Mr. Tomlinson Rio: Take the heat and shine off you all in one, just ask Nancy: It's a kind offer Nancy: But it's not gonna fix any of the important stuff Nancy: And it's not like you deserve any of what would come from that unholy union Rio: Okay, you could give me names of the worst offenders and I'll sort them out Rio: not in similar fashion to teach, of course Rio: How are you really though, babe? Stupid question but gotta come Nancy: You can't take on half the school, Rio Nancy: If it was that easy I'd still be in London Nancy: Maybe it's a stupid question but I've only got an obvious answer so Rio: Sure I can Rio: Ain't my first rodeo Rio: Is there anything of actual use I can do to make everything not totally shit or? Nancy: Don't be nice to me Nancy: I can't handle it Nancy: And I just re-applied my make-up Rio: You ain't wronged me Rio: along with half the School, like but they LOVE taking shit personal when 10 minutes ago it was Quinn who? Rio: And we've all put our waterproof to the test before Nancy: If it was just her I wouldn't be thinking about leaving Nancy: Tristan literally has half the school on his side and it's not like I can blame him Rio: It's just insecurity Rio: 'cos you're not a total sadcase like the kids she usually works with, can't pick on them for loving on his Ma or swinging at her whatever Rio: he's just taking out his blatant issues about it 'cos he ain't had the chance before Nancy: Am I not? What would you call me? Nancy: Yeah, bit like how I was with his dad Nancy: At least he's got real issues, I've got...imaginary emotions? Or something Rio: Hmm Rio: I might throw hopeless romantic at you if I'm feeling really savage Rio: Nah, they ain't imaginary Rio: How much easier if they were Nancy: Hopeless is right Nancy: But I doubt either Sian or Quinn would call me romantic Nancy: Well, they weren't real. None of it was Rio: Not the fantasy in your head but the feelings were Rio: you can try and discredit them if it helps but in my experience, usually a pointless exercise Rio: but painful enough to feel somewhat fitting of a punishment, right? a start, at the very least Nancy: Ouch. Calling it a fantasy sounds....yeah let's not Nancy: I know you've got a point, that I should have let you make earlier Nancy: God, how did I let myself end up here Nancy: What the hell Rio: Sorry, as if the world wasn't ready to burst your bubble, like Rio: Shit happens Rio: You can't control it Rio: Arguably could've controlled it enough to not get to that point but I ain't got room or desire to judge too harshly Nancy: It's fine, I've heard worse from the world Nancy: I can though. I had been Nancy: Or so I thought Rio: 'Til you didn't Rio: exactly Rio: It's done now, the rumour mill will do it's thing, then you'll be free to deal with the actual mess in your head Nancy: It's his fault Nancy: The prick Nancy: I wouldn't have lost control if he didn't first Rio: Yeah Rio: She sounds devious Rio: Why her, like Nancy: He hates me and so does she Nancy: Match made, like Rio: He doesn't hate you, babe Rio: He's just an idiot Nancy: Okay, he hasn't forgiven me then Nancy: Point is, he's mad at me Rio: At least you've got reason to be mad at him now too, yeah? Rio: Fair fight Nancy: Like I need a reason, he didn't have one Rio: Yeah, not how he sees it though Rio: maybe you can get it all out there now Nancy: He sees things to suit him Nancy: Always has Nancy: Everything about her was right there for him to see before I left and after Rio: Yeah, it's fucked up Nancy: I shouldn't have to spell it out to him, he was right there Rio: I know Rio: I don't think it's like that Rio: like it's still shitty Rio: but it's not like, love Rio: he ain't like that, if nothing else, thank fuck, yeah Nancy: It doesn't make me feel any better Nancy: There's always girls around him, he didn't need to get with her Nancy: All their friends remember, they tagged me, so he can't have forgotten what she's like and everything she did Rio: He looked wasted Rio: in her photos Nancy: Lesbian or not, I know if he was that wasted he wouldn't have been able to get it up for her Nancy: It's not an excuse Rio: Let's not think about the logisitics Rio: it's not personal, physical reactions Nancy: You can say that, it doesn't matter to you Nancy: If he's so mad at me for moving to Dublin he shouldn't sleep with one of the main reasons why I had to Rio: Have you said this to him yet? Nancy: Fuck no Nancy: And I'm not going to Nancy: He knows what she did, he didn't stop it, whatever I didn't ask him to, but he still had a front row seat Nancy: She made sure everyone did Rio: Wouldn't it make you feel better, to rip him a new one? Nancy: Not really Nancy: I've tried enough times before Nancy: And she's the least of my worries now that half this school hates me and the other half loves me in a way I don't want, ever Rio: I can hear the threesome offers from here Rio: Ugh Nancy: Like, I get it, I'm a cliche, let me list the ways for you but then go away Rio: Keeps your inbox fun and fresh, I guess? Rio: Is it gonna be hate or love, know the feeling Nancy: I haven't even asked how you are! Nancy: Letting myself down in all the ways Rio: Oh God, same old, same old, no need to depress yourself further Nancy: Not to be like my brother and his (lack of) coping mechanisms yet again, but can we go out? Nancy: I'm over being staring at my walls or my phone crying or trying not to Rio: 'Course Rio: you're allowed to drown your sorrows at least 3 more times 'fore I'm calling you out on the parallels Rio: Anywhere with cheap drinks and GRL POWER bops? Nancy: Anywhere that my haters won't be Nancy: Because now I've called them haters which is the WORST thing Rio: 😂 Rio: May as well call 'em motivators whilst you're at it and be done with it Nancy: Sounded like a soundbite from my mum's mouth Nancy: That's the last straw. I wanna die Rio: Not before you've got a 'round in Nancy: If you come and help me not look how I feel then I'll owe you so many drinks Nancy: You'll be able to get as drunk as Buster, fuck everything up too Rio: I do owe you for the time I shamelessly stole your wardrobe so Nancy: You're literally trying to remind me and I still don't remember Nancy: So you're fine Rio: Still omw Rio: I've rocked many a makeover in my time, though it's been a while since any of 'em but Grace would let me 😂 Nancy: I have no energy to fight you Nancy: And can't look worse than I do right now Nancy: The bar is low low low Rio: Slap some cucumbers on those puffy eyes Nancy: Excuse me mum I need to take those from your water really quick, babe Nancy: 👌 Rio: When plain old water just ain't hydrating enough Nancy: @ my dehydrated but still crying self Rio: Dry it up, babe Rio: Gotta at least arrive at the club semi put together Nancy: Are they gonna let me in? Nancy: I can't do any more humiliation today Rio: Of course, you're nearly 18 anyway Rio: they let Indie in, you're fine Nancy: Tell it to Sian Nancy: And the powers that be so they don't sack her Rio: 😑 Nancy: If we're going out you need to work on your poker face Rio: I'm sorry but I'm not gonna cry for her, babe Nancy: You sound like the rumor mill Nancy: none of this is her fault Rio: Mm, she could've done more about it Nancy: She didn't know about it, what could she do? Rio: You reckon? Rio: She's a married woman and you probably weren't that subtle Nancy: You're talking to me not my brother Nancy: I can be subtle Nancy: I've had years of practice Rio: Not with love and shit Rio: No offence but you know it's true Nancy: Yes with love and shit Nancy: She didn't know until I wanted her to Rio: Okay Nancy: You don't believe me, do you? Rio: No but there's no need to push the issue Rio: you can't know either way now Rio: but they won't sack her Nancy: You should Nancy: You say I can't, but I do know, 'cause I've been over every moment in my head Nancy: I wish she did know, before, and she felt the same as I do but that's not gonna happen Rio: Yeah, and every time you go over it, the memory changes Rio: Sorry but you're not a trusted source on this Rio: especially 'cos you still wish that Nancy: I know Nancy: I can't just stop loving her Nancy: Everyone wants me to, even her, but I don't know how to Rio: Yeah Rio: Time, that's about all that'll do it Rio: or someone else Nancy: Did time work for you? 'Cause been there tried the second option already Rio: 'Course Rio: heals all wounds don't you know Nancy: I can't say I do know that yet Nancy: I'm still angry and hurt about Chloe and Buster so Rio: That's allowed Rio: got a decent amount of time left on both before people are eye-rolling Nancy: You think? It's been years since I left Nancy: I should be over it Rio: Nah Rio: she's still the same bitch Rio: why should you try and be above it Nancy: 'Cause I came here to change Nancy: So I shouldn't be the same bitch Nancy: It's pathetic, right? Rio: No, 'cos you weren't the bitch to begin with Rio: You don't need to change Nancy: if the alternative is this Nancy: i want to Nancy: I hate this Rio: Okay Rio: How do you wanna be? Rio: Let's make it happen Nancy: where to start, like Rio: You tell me, babe Nancy: My extensive wardrobe doesn't include a chastity belt so I'm gonna need more self control Nancy: Any ideas? Nancy: Not an app for building that as far as I know Rio: Hmm, idk Rio: could get yourself on tinder, the awfulness of people looking for a quick hookup will do wonders for your sex drive Nancy: Lord Nancy: That's a scarily good idea Nancy: Anywhere where straight guys exist in numbers Rio: The club will be the IRL embodiment so tonight is your lucky night Nancy: Luck isn't on my side lately but i've got nothing to lose Rio: That's the spirit Rio: Might as well put all your chips down now Nancy: Keep my phone for me later? Drunk dialing Quinn at the end isn't gonna work out the way it did at the start Rio: Not yet anyway Rio: Time, yeah? Rio: You take mine, swapsies Nancy: Likely not ever Nancy: You didn't see her Nancy: But sure, your phone camera gets me Rio: Never say never Rio: unless it's your married teacher Nancy: Don't give me undeserved hope Rio: I dunno Rio: It's not like you were married, you know Rio: or you properly cheated Nancy: Yeah but that's only because I didn't have the chance Nancy: I was still thinking about Sian most of the time Nancy: That's gotta hurt Rio: Bit insulting, yeah Rio: I wouldn't go back but maybe she liked you Rio: Either way, don't think there's anything you can do to make ammends rn so Nancy: She told me she liked me Nancy: And because I'm the worst human I didn't stop it Rio: Hardly Nancy: You're too nice to kick me when I'm down Rio: I ain't Rio: And I ain't above using someone for my own shit, not many are Nancy: I'm just as bad as him Nancy: Fucking twinning Rio: Different sins Rio: If you're gonna make like him, try not to give a shit about it, right? Take the perks with it Nancy: If only Nancy: At least he didn't like Chloe and use her anyway Nancy: That's just me and what I'm looking for in a girlfriend Rio: Oh, babe Rio: what a mess Nancy: Help me Nancy: Should I just go back to London or? Rio: Hmm, I don't know Rio: It'd maybe hurt less to not see either of them Rio: but you'd be more alone Rio: but, either way, it's a year and you're out of both Nancy: I don't know either Nancy: I wanna see them both so much and that's why I shouldn't be near either of them, right? Nancy: But June will murder me if I leave and I'll murder Buster if I have to share a house with him all the time again Nancy: Summer was Nancy: Oh God Rio: You're not a monster, you're allowed to feel that Rio: You aren't going to do anything else, the mistakes have been made, you're on learning time Rio: I can't really see London working, to be honest Rio: It'd be a step back, more than all...this Nancy: Yeah. I don't love it there. Closer to being at home here by far Nancy: I know I'm just scared to stay Nancy: But I need to girl up and stick it out, like Rio: Yeah Rio: We're all here Rio: that's a good % of the school pop so fuck it Nancy: 😂 real Nancy: be on your way faster 'cause whatever is closest or coldest in this fridge is being opened now Rio: 👍 Rio: Had to sort my own self but I'm in my car Rio: not looking a total state now, welcome Nancy: teach me how to make cocktails so I can make new friends? Rio: Ooh Rio: Fun Rio: Grandad gonna be pissed off but deal, old man Nancy: sorry but I need the gays to protect me now, granddad I can't wait for you to come over and be fabulous Rio: I'll invite some of my gay friends if you want Rio: not a hoe you out vibe Nancy: They'll back right off when they sense my 💔 so bring whoever you want Rio: See who's about and up for it Rio: first though, some tlc Nancy: If you bring a boy you like I'll promise not to gag Nancy: Or cry Rio: Trust, there are no boys making me gag or cry atm Nancy: Gross Rio: 😂 Nancy: And I assume disappointing? 🤔 Is that the goal, penis so big it almost kills you or? Rio: Oh honey 😏 Rio: I don't believe for a sec you're so 💔 that you're ready for the lowdown on the d Nancy: Trying to talk about you and your interests since I haven't shut up about me Rio: Sweet Rio: Maybe when I'm drunker myself I'll tell you all about it Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: So there's stuff to tell Nancy: Knew it Rio: Nahhhhhhh Rio: Not my own personal penis Rio: just the basics Nancy: Like basic teenage boys from your street or Ann Summer's basic range? Nancy: Either way, do better if I have to live through you Rio: Damn Rio: Pressure weren't real enough already, like 😜 Rio: Ma like, where's those grandkids @ Nancy: Like she wouldn't come at me with the same question Rio: We're all slacking Rio: for shame Nancy: Wait until she hears about my celibacy Nancy: Sorry auntie Nancy: I gotta do what I gotta do Rio: 'til you 👀 some cuties in the cloob Nancy: I'm giving myself to god Nancy: she's a babe Nancy: full nun mode activated Rio: You talking about Ariana Grande? Nancy: Never Nancy: I've got enough drama in my life without fancying a straight celeb Rio: Celebs don't count Rio: ask anyone, free pass, like Rio: off chance she's out in dubo tonight Nancy: It's 🌈 icons or nothing Nancy: But it's nothing, obviously Nancy: feel free to hit her up yourself though Rio: Picky Rio: I'm good tho, not really my type either Nancy: I could make a bunny joke but we don't need to get back into the Ann Summer's shelves Rio: Don't we? Rio: Celibacy ain't gon' be easy babe Nancy: I've done it before Nancy: First girlfriend, remember Rio: Pringle rules Nancy: Never say that again Nancy: Touches too much of a nerve, which in itself sounds dirty so Rio: 😂 Nancy: Don't laugh at me Nancy: Why did I have to ruin my life? Nancy: 😭 Rio: You had to know, yeah? Nancy: But I should've known anyway Rio: You'd always have a what if Nancy: Yeah but I've just swapped one for another 'cause now Quinn's a what if instead Rio: She's a has been now Rio: in the nicest possible way Nancy: Ouch Rio: Not a never ever though Nancy: Safe to assume Nancy: I wouldn't have me back Rio: Yeah but you're living up to your name rep rn Nancy: ? Rio: A negative Nancy Rio: sure that's not old Nancy: I was going on the McKenna part and I was like, how insulting is this gonna get? Rio: Too real for tonight Nancy: Too real for this month Rio: I'll allow it Nancy: Oh god, I'm gonna have to change all my birthday plans Nancy: Don't let me think about that Rio: Yeah, don't Rio: we'll sort something Rio: but I'm here Rio: pour me a drink and lemme in Nancy: 👌👌 Nancy: Excuse mum and dad's scowls Rio: 😬 Rio: Should I move my car lads Nancy: Back to the 24 and away from my bad influence I'm sure they'd say right now Nancy: not a direct quote Rio: I'll chat 'em round Rio: parents love me Nancy: 😏 Rio: Rude! Nancy: Hey, I'm preparing you for the kind of quality banter you'll have to get used to hearing if you hang around me Rio: Alright, the craic starts here Rio: deal with it, 'rents Nancy: 💚🍀