#(i mean julie too !!! but i think connie would get a little more appreciation out of it since she's a farm girl??)

[dreamties]

Sonny is into natural history !! It's something he reads books on and takes notes about his favorite discoveries in a journal jam-packed with all his interests. He spends hours at the library perusing the history section, and then gardening and herbology and science. There is no specific natural history section, though he thinks there should be. He knows at least a dozen books that would fit into that section. Perhaps he should volunteer or get a job there, he thinks. But natural history is a hobby to him, not a career. It's something he loves, will spend an hour telling Leland and Ana about it. He's always patient with Leland, who can be slow with verbal information sometimes (but perfect with written ideas, always) and just needs a breather between topics. Sonny is always willing to respect that. He slows down and he shows Leland the pictures in his books- if he has any on him. He lets him look at the highlighted sections of his journal, doesn't pay too much mind to the scribbles in the margins and the excessive flow of ideas unrelated to the topic. Leland loves how passionate he is about this. Loves how caring he is.

Leland loves his friend nearly as much as Sonny loves his passions, loves his books, loves learning about natural history.

(Sonny loves Leland more than all those things. Sonny loves him as more than a friend, but not more than his other friends.)

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter 2018 Anime Final Review

Why yes, pretty much all the Spring premieres are done (don’t even remind me haha I’m so far behind) and this is horribly late, I had a busy couple of weeks ;---; and am still struggling to catch up, but here’s my final rundown of this long slow winter! Worst to best, as always.

Dropped

Basilisk Ouka Ninpou Chou: Although I’d said I’d keep watching for the Nobunaga twist, given the onslaught of new stuff for Spring, it’s unsustainable to keep watching something so mediocre I don’t even find anything to say about it. Also Nobunaga hasn’t been mentioned in three episodes.

DUMPSTER FIRE

Darling in the Franxx: So we’re halfway through the show and still feels nothing of importance has happened, except we learned “lesbians are not viable, what a relief” and also KOKORO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE BABIES. The whole Kokoro business is very unsavory because on the one hand the writing is a dick to Walking Fat Joke Futoshi, but on the other hand Futoshi is an entitled Nice Guy who acts like Kokoro has some obligation to return his feelings, so basically everyone sucks lmao. Btw, does anyone know what happened with episode 13? I went to watch it but what I got instead was a Deadman Wonderland episode, complete with the story of Palurdo meeting Lab Experiment-turned-Beast Waifu as children and making a promise that would subsequently be forgotten until they meet again in their teenage years. Jesus, does Womenz are Beastz: The Anime have a single original idea?

How am I supposed to measure my own disinterest and contempt

This basically means I didn’t care for these shows. I don’t hate them but I was aggressively unengaged in them and I can’t really rank them from worst to best because that would imply me having any measurable emotional reaction to them

Violet Evergarden: I don’t think I have much to add about this one that I haven’t said before. Tryhard Sad Anime Girl stories rehashing old clichés with little novelty to them,  with a bonus of a super poorly explained and thought out child super soldier tragic backstory that still has me ?????? The final episode has the addendum of trying to redeem That One Asshole in a “he treats her bad because he’s sad about his brother dying sob sob sob he’s totally not a jerk” and i was very annoyed by that.

Koi wa Ameagari no You ni: It’s complicated to talk about this show. I really liked the first episode, hated the 4-6, then was mostly bored by the rest of it. The whole romance angle was completely dropped in the latter half, but I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing given how tastelessly it was being handled in some moments, or a bad one given how bland everything else was. It felt like Akira’s crush on Kondo turned out to be insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It also felt like Akira was profoundly underdeveloped, and it bothered me because Kondo was developed properly. His character felt more fully realized than hers. Like idk, I just cared so little for the last few episodes and it didn’t feel like Akira’s emotional progression was very connected with the first half of the show. 

Fate/Extra Last Encore: I don’t even have a screenshot. Apparently the reason the show started so late into the season is that it took a long time to produce, and apparently there are two more episodes that will be released at some point in July. But really, what matters is that I have no idea of what this show was trying to accomplish. The characters were a bunch of pieces of cardboard spouting pseudo nihilistic philosophical nonsense and I don’t even know how to describe the plot. It was generic in its Boss of the Week approach but the execution was often very flat. Definitely none of the fun from Apocrypha’s cool characters was to be had in this iteration of the franchise.

Too much iyashikei

This season we had too much iyashikei and I’m burned out. Here are the ones I didn’t hate but also wasn’t super in love with.

Miira no Kaikata: I think this show would’ve worked better as 3-minute vignettes. 20 minutes of it was a bit too much and I struggled to pay attention. I also felt the dragon and MukuMuku had very tangential roles. I don’t have a whole lot to say. It’s cute, if cute is your jam this show is for you. Connie is best smol monster.

Hakumei to Mikochi: Another cute show that gains extra points for its somewhat unique setting, beautiful color palette and picture book aesthetic and because the two main girls are great characters. I particularly liked the first and last episodes. It’s a relaxing, fun little show

Sanrio Danshi: The harbinger of feminism made into a toy commercial, while not quite iyashikei, is still a slice of life that just occassionally indulged in too much melodrama. It was nonetheless a fun little thing that managed to turn cynical consumerism into a positive message for boys: it’s okay to like non-traditionally-masculine things. One of the details I liked most was that none of the boys had to give up on their previous groups of friends even after “coming out”, Kouta’s friends and Shuu’s team were supportive of them and even participated in their dumbass musical play. Some may even read this show as a not-so-subtle allegory on homosexuality and while I don’t think this was Sanrio’s intent (their intent is to broaden their market, plain and simple) the fact that it works so well with that reading is honestly great. I had very minimal expectations for this show and I’m happy it turned out better than those.

Classicaloid 2: Classicaloid isn’t quite iyashikei either but it fits in the “didn’t love it, didn’t hate it” category. I’m a huge fan of season one, but unfortunately a big part of S2 failed to capture the magic. I think most of it was restored in the second cour, specially with brilliant episodes such as the one where Dovo-chan becomes a super-realistic painting of himself, and the last three episodes really captured what made Classicaloid great. I’ve really come to love this cast, so I wouldn’t complain if we got more seasons (please do Vivaldi!!!)

Shonen is a Good Genre, Actually

Shonen as a genre/demographic is much reviled for its repetitive clichés and childish stories, but I think we live at a time in which we can have well-executed shonen anime that, although falling for the same old clichés, have enough heart and sincerity that makes them enjoyable. This part also isn’t necessarily ranked, since my favorite one will change depending on which day you ask me

Nanatsu no Taizai: Imashime no Fukkatsu: As I have mentioned before, this second season seems to be the polar opposite of the first one’s rapid pace. It’s been a while since I read the manga, but I feel like it took a lot less to get to the mid-season cutoff point there than this anime would lead you to believe, especially the training part felt excruciatingly long. NanaTai has other various flaws including its 1000% not funny harrassment jokes and the dumb introduction of quantified “power levels” (why Suzuki), but characters like Diane, King and Ban give the show a unique flavor. And I’m not even gonna pretend to be unbiased, I just love everything involving Ban, even the weird and questionable choice of bringing Elaine back. I’m excited that we’re finally approaching Escanor’s arrival.

Yowapeda Glory Road: I also forgot to grab a screenshot lmao. Yowapeda is a very particular beast, and with its episode count already in the hundreds, it’s not something I’d reccommend unless you’re super into dragged out ridiculous sports anime. This second season of Onoda’s second year has not been without its flaws either, starting with the, imho absurd persistence in making Sohoku look like underdogs even though they’re reigning champions. It’s made a lot of the first two days of the Interhigh feel a lot grimmer than this cheerful show ought to. Kaburagi is still an insufferable character, and the fact that he drags the team down doesn’t help him either, and I just wish the writers would let Best Boy Teshima win anything. I hope the second day ends on a lighter note, because the gloom and doom is making this a less enjoyable watch than it should be

Mahoutsukai no Yome: I feel a little better about this one knowing the final was anime-original, but at the same time I’m beyond livid with how it was wrapped up. I loved the second half of the series because of how well-written and emotional Chise’s growth was, and everything up to her embracing of Cartaphilus’s curse was a beautiful display of her strength and will to live. What I’m not here for is that asspull wedding whatever that makes no sense in the context of the previous events, especially because after the fact, Elias’s attempt to kill Stella is swept under the rug. This could’ve been my favorite show of the season without that bullshit ending and while I don’t regret watching it, it leaves me with a sad feeling of what could have been

Best of the season

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens: It had a slow start, but with its endearing cast and well-developed character relationships, HTR won me over, especially the last quarter. The animation was veeery barebones, but Lin and Bamba’s charisma and their organically developed relationship carried the show to be one of the most enjoyable of the season. I also really appreciate the fact that the series includes a gay couple with an adopted daughter and that Lin’s crossdressing is never used as a joke or treated as a character flaw or a “phase”. I love stories about found families and I’d love to see more of this gang fighting crime and doing shady business in their city of assassins.

Garo: Vanishing Line: This iteration of Garo had a somewhat slow start, but boy did it pick up steam in the second half. The action was great -the final fight against King had some incredible stylistic choices, the characters’ journeys felt complete and very human and the story was interesting and different enough from other Garo to not feel repetitive, yet with enough Garoisms that made it feel connected to everything else. Like I said, I love stories about found families, so the way Sophie found a home with Gina, Luke and Sword by the end was very touching. Watching Sophie’s journey has been a treat, and I’m immensely happy that this wasn’t a Guren no Tsuki disaster, but was more in line with the excellence of Honoo no Kokuin.

Gakuen Babysitters: This was the huge surprise of the season for me, I almost expected it to be pretty dull. Instead it turned out to be super cute and extremely heartwarming. It had a couple of duds here and there, mostly the not-actually-a-pedophile joke character and the early love triangle skits, but the former disappeared and the latter was vastly improved in the second half of the show. I wish Ryuichi’s grief had been dealt with a bit more, but I think what they did show was very well executed and empathetic. And the portrayal of the kids felt very realistic, including both children’s most adorable and most obnoxious behaviors. KIRIN IS BEST GIRL

Card Captor Sakura Clear Card arc: I have expressed some complaints and dissatisfactions with this sequel all through the season. Mostly in regards to the new cards and how the old ones seem to have been forgotten (also the lazy designs of the new cards). In spite of that, Sakura hasn’t lost any of its heart in these 20 years, the characters are still the kids we grew up with. It is an overwhelmingly cheerful and positive show, from Sakura and Syaoran’s shyly developing relationship, to the hopefulness of Sakura’s magic and just the simple day to day life of Sakura and her friends. In spite of all its flaws, Sakura is still my favorite show of the season and I’m happy we get to spend one more season with these characters. Just please give me more Yue??? 

Ooooof, finally I’m done with this! PLEASE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THE 20+ SHOWS I’M SAMPLING FOR SPRING AHAHAHAHA. There’s too much anime. Anime must be stopped, immediately. Don’t hesitate to send me your thoughts about the winter season, even if it seems I’m losing my mind a little Dx TOO MUCH ANIME

[mercuriallycooperative]

One of my long belated Steven Universe rewatch/reaction posts! Wow, I really did have lotsa thoughts about “Alone at Sea”, I can see why this stalled other posts. Also, it’s really long. Again, below is reproduced the unedited text of that reaction two years ago, typos and all. Blast from the past, isn’t it? I’m in no way caught up, so for all I know all these Jasper and Lapis issues have all been tidily dealt with in the meanwhile. I keep seeing other spoilers floating around whenever I browse my dashboard, ehehe... Something about one of the old theories being proven super super legit and ‘it was the truth all a long’ and revalidating some of the early speculative fic? Well, anyway. I’ll get to know the truth in time, I suppose. For now:

“Rewatching Steven Universe: Summer of Steven Edition”

Featuring: More Things I wrote before I did the first week’s worth of episodes!

(I wrote this second, immediately after the one for Monster Reunion. These are being posted in order now, though, finally.)

Week 2/Episode 9 of Summer of Steven (Thurs, July 28)

Alone at Sea

After watching for the first time:

Well then. That happened.

As much as I absolutely adore Lapis Lazuli, I do honestly like the fact that she is upset about what she did in the past, is guilty about the drawing away the ocean and the breaking Greg’s leg and the keeping Jasper trapped in a toxic fusion. Because yeah, those are things that are serious and need attention.

Like, I generally get the impression that during Ocean Gem and the taking of the sea that whole bit was a lot of panic and she probably severely mis-estimated the durability and strength of Steven, Connie, and Greg, because none of the things she was firing at then would have likely killed a gem, maybe poofed them or detained them, and Lapis strikes me as the oh-shit-that-was-overkill-wasn’t-it type. And while an actual “Sorry” to those involved would probably be good, and at the moment I think Lapis is kinda eaten up inside about a load of stuff, I think it’s generally good that she- I think what I’m trying to say is it’s good to see that Lapis is aware about how her actions have affected people.

Okay but Jasper though. I really, really appreciate the show did go into the fact that Lapis was wrong about the Malachite thing, that she acknowledges that she was doing it just to take out her anger on someone she was in control of, who she could feel like she had a reason to kick. I think they probably could have made that a little- not clearer, but maybe impressed the gravity of that a little more, because it did seem a little brushed off and a little like blame was deflected from Lapis there. I think maybe this will be addressed more in the future, though, next time we see Jasper maybe. Because on one hand, Lapis, that was super not okay. But on the other hand-

I get the impression that Lapis was terrorized at least a little on the way to Earth with Jasper and Peridot. Peridot mentions it was her that did the interrogating of Lapis, and “interrogating” puts me on alert right there, but like. There was something about Lapis’ body language, as it relates to Jasper and Peridot and her time on the Homeworld ship that, both now and at the time, made me really uncomfortable. Like. I dunno, my thoughts on Jasper are super nondescript, but she definitely makes me nervous, and coupled with Lapis’ experience trapped in a mirror for 5000-odd years, It’s not unreasonable to think that that is a reason Lapis acted so destructively, self destructively, and seemingly disproportionately.

Not a reason that excuses trapping someone in a shared mindspace so that you both basically kill eachother every day for months and give you both even more trauma. But it all does hint at the sort of rushing-headlong-into-this-is-TOTALLY-A-GOOD-IDEA-RIGHT-oh-god hysteria of decisionmaking that is not born of maliciousness, exactly, not the calculated kind. Just. A lot of bad stuff that ends up hurting everyone around you.

So like, we definitely need to see Lapis deal more with what happened with Jasper, and I think the show could do with impressing the idea that what happened was Not Okay a little more strongly. Like, in a Lapis and Jasper episode of Too Far+Back to the Barn+Friend Ship in terms of real talk, when (I hope) Lapis and Jasper are eventually both on the Side of Steven and Co., maybe.

Now, re: Jasper herself. Holy crap, that was moderately disturbing. Like, I’m worried about her now. (Also, she’s definitely not on Neptune- but definitely well within finding-the-gems-again range. I predict seeing her again before the Summer is out...) Like, she definitely doesn’t have her shit together. And I think- I get the impression that it’s a really unhealthy combination of power-drunk from any of the times she wrested control of Malachite from Lapis for moments, plus the trauma of Lapis using her considerable mental discipline (re: being able to control her hydromancy so well and at such volume) to take out her pain and anger on Jasper.

At the same time- I don’t want to be excusing Jasper any more than I want to be excusing Lapis. Jasper, most recently, immediately turned to threaten Steven after Lapis refused to re-fuse. During Jailbreak, the whole let’s-dangle-Lapis-in-the-air-and-tell-her-”Fuse with me”-and-”Just say yes” set off a number of alarms, and in a meta-sense, given that the Crewniverse has been good about what vibe comes across as a precursor to what information, I’m really getting the feeling something was up there.

It’s just, we haven’t really seen much from Jasper. She’s a threat (an old general) because she was sent by Homeworld (the oldest enemy) and of course some of that (must be) is a product of Homeworld and what they are but the question (one of them) is how much we can say Homeworld has super brainwashed her- because like. With Peridot, we’re getting the impression she’s young. She’s said it- that she’s one of the new Peridots. Presumably fairly recent, after the Rebellion, during the reign of this New Homeworld. And a lot of her, her lack of scope, her loud, bouncing-around superiority and her everything-in-its-place, it may come from the Diamond she served under, but it’s as likely it comes from the Homeworld that she was created in. But Jasper? She’s of the Old Homeworld. The likes of which created Centipeetle and Lapis and so much has changed, we’re told, between the new and the old.

Lapis was trapped in the mirror. Time likely passed so strangely, for a trapped, cracked gem whose purpose was to be a seeing-glass. And Centipeetle was corrupted, her mind trapped in mazes and probably either some amount of pain or some amount of- of insensibility, of hazy dissociation, but living ages and ages on Earth. And the Crystal Gems of course had their post-war cleanup mission of the world, and all the little history contained therein.

They were all, bar Steven and Amethyst, born of old Homeworld and the fires of the Rebellion.

So was Jasper. And of course Jasper had the added something (I won’t say benefit nor will I say misfortune) of seeing Homeworld change before her eyes. The changes that so shocked Lapis were ones that Jasper likely experienced firsthand. Jasper is old enough to have been an adversary on (what seems to be fairly) even keel with Rose Quartz.

Honestly, while I think Jasper is certainly more complicated than The Big Bad Evil Gem and that she’s certainly not to blame for all the badness that’s been going down, not least of which I mean Lapis and the choices she’s made...

I think that it doesn’t give Jasper enough credit, to say “Oh well she’s a product of The System and as soon as we get a chance to say things to her she’ll be toast legit Cheetomom”. Like maybe there’s a whole lot Jasper just doesn’t have the context for because Homeworld sucks and has toxic messages fucking everywhere but like. Jasper still has her own agency. And as far as I can tell, she’s old enough (experienced enough) to know that, the same way Pearl (when she’s not flipping her shit) knows that, the same way Garnet and Lapis know that.

If we respect her at all, Jasper needs to get the same responsibility for her actions/behaviour/personality that all the other characters get shit for when they act mean, or coercive, or otherwise threatening.

We dissect every second of, say, Pearl’s behaviour, or Amethyst’s, or Lapis’, or (a little less) even Garnet’s and Steven’s. And we pick out their traumas and neuroses and pasts and biases and some of the internet screams YOU ARE SHIT FOREVER BECAUSE OF THIS and some of the internet screams YOU ARE A PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL WHO CAN DO NO WRONG but the other parts of the internet (of the SU side of Tumblr) are pretty careful about saying, “Okay you have a reason for this thing, and I get that, but it doesn’t excuse you for the thing, and so accept responsibility, and we’ll move on and love you still”.

Jasper should be treated likewise.

... okay so that descended into a rant about ~70% of my Jasper related thoughts. I’ll probably have more after I end up reading the contents of my dashboard since last night. I’ve totally lost track of the rest of the episode.

Time to rewatch it and pick out more interesting bits!

1) Lapis looks happier, at the beginning of the episode. I like the little bit about Steven reminding her to close her eyes, on account of the last time Lapis could totally see through her wings.

2) It’s interesting how Greg is still keeping himself so friendly, even as his introduction is an awkward you-broke-my-leg-that-one-time. It’s very much the same way he greeted Marty, actually- very cordial even though he was uncomfortable. Very much just being the bigger person, not to be superior, but just. Keeping everything friendly-like.

3) For that matter, regarding introductions, Lapis looks very awkward receiving that introduction- it looks to me like both the okay-I-was-not-expecting-that-introduction-that-was-weird-how-do-I-respond-to-this and the sheepish-kinda-guilty sort of awkward. This is how I interpret it, of course, but...

4) “It was more than one [bad experience” says Lapis, regarding her time at the bottom of the ocean with Jasper. I’m curious what she means by this. More than one bad experience, yes, but- more than one bad experience with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean? More than one with Jasper, including time on the hand ship? I might be forgetting something in the rush of new episodes, but, this seems interesting to me. Or was she referring, there was more than one bad aspect to her experiences as Malachite, both the damage Jasper did fighting her, and the damage Lapis did fighting Jasper, and, in that last one, the damage Lapis hints later at having done to herself in terms of becoming someone she doesn’t want to be?

5) “I don’t deserve this.” Lapis definitely knows she’s done some stuff that’s not on. And she’s had time enough to work through some of the things that’ve happened, and to her credit she’s being fairly open with Steven despite what I see as some very reticent tendencies.

6) Actually, those kind of make sense. Lapis spent over 5000 years in a mirror, as an object, meant for the express purpose of revealing personal information without her consent. Even used as a general information device- or perhaps it was only that Pearl assumed that was her purpose- that’s a long time with very little agency about how she could communicate with others. So long spent having to communicate what she doesn’t want to, unable to communicate what she does, and then shortly after her release being interrogated (in one way or another) by Homeworld, is it any wonder that Lapis wants to work things out for herself and not spill all her thoughts with others? Is it any wonder that she has a hard time doing so?

7) It’s interesting, Steven just brushes aside the “I don’t deserve this” with an “Of course you do!” I think that for a lot of Steven’s life, he was able to solve a lot of problems this way. And a lot of the time, that’s because the problems he was fixing, the personal ones, were because of personally directed aggression without anything to back it up- intrusive thoughts, the perpetual self-esteem gremlins that are made of unsureness and the ghosts of a thousand poisoned thoughts. It’s less common that he’s really had to deal with people who have seriously done a thing wrong some time where he hasn’t been around to see it- he saw Amethyst shapeshift into his mother, he say Pearl’s deception about Sardonyx, he saw Peridot working for Yellow Diamond, and so he can understand that sometimes things need working out. But Steven- he also sticks so staunchly with people, believes so firmly that people default to good- as with Lars, I think in some ways Steven is still naive. And recently, he’s been going through stuff that pushes him to work on that.

8) Who the hell names a boat the S.S. Misery?

9) I do appreciate that Lapis finds the name of the boat and their poor attempts to cover it with a moniker based on her own amusing. I appreciate a sense of humor like that.

10) “Don’t put me in charge!” “You shouldn’t trust me with the boat.” Again, picking through this episode I do see evidence that Lapis is working through a lot of guilt regarding her fusion with Jasper. I think she needs a talk with someone who’s not Steven- but I’m at a loss as to who would even remotely be a good person for that. Amethyst has a 50-50 chance of brushing it off like Steven or being legit serious about it, Pearl would commiserate and have a 50-50 chance of having a guilty-spiral party or giving some good advice, Peridot doesn’t have any of the fusion-related context for this and would likely brush off the whole thing, and Garnet would be great except there’s a 90 percent chance of something in the conversation being horribly upsetting to her, and a non-zero percent chance that Lapis would end up seriously on the shit list. Like. All together with an open dialogue, they’d likely get a good problem-solving issue-addressing dialogue going, but that’s always the case. And how often does that sort of conversation happen.

11) I just noticed Lapis hydromancing the orange juice in her champagne flute idly, and it’s great.

12) Also, actually, when Lapis answers “I’m not putting that on my body” all bluntly about the hat and Greg just takes it in stride, it occurs to me that he’s probably used to that exact reaction from Pearl about all sorts of human things.

13) While I think that Steven is really good at just- being a good balm for grief in the soul, making people a little happier, just for a bit, I think maybe the fact that he keeps interrupting Lapis whenever she starts reflecting is kind of a double ended spear. Like. I think she does need time to reflect and come to conclusions and start figuring out where she stands- as in Barn Mates where it’s pretty clear that she needs some space. On the other hand, it’s likely she’s been spending a lot of time since then brooding, so one day of lightness would probably do some good. Just. It has to be a day when Jasper shows up and the starts of the breach of all the issues floating around. Well, it had to be sooner or later I guess.

14) I honestly can’t tell if Lapis and Steven’s enjoyment of the boat’s foghorn is because it’s a loud, moderately obnoxious noise, or if it’s because it’s a loud, moderately obnoxious noise that’s kinda reminiscent of the humorously timed fart noises they bonded over.

15) Lapis just really wants to help and to impress Steven. Even if it’s in ways *cough* floating water sphere of fish *cough* that are moderately alarming. I think even as we delve deeper into the less pure-cinnamon-roll aspects of Lapis’ character, it’s important to remember that, regardless of the rest of things, the be-helpful/impress-Steven thing is a really big part of her personality now.

16) And, despite the control Lapis must have to do so much of what she hydromances, I think she kinda needs to work on the smoothly-putting-things-back part. Although given, I suspect that may sacrifice speed to some extent.

17) It’s interesting that Lapis quiets Steven when he’s about to start gushing over her powers again.

18) The description of how-to-fish seems very much like some sort of meta-commentary or subtextual information about the current state of affairs.

19) Also, the entire fishing part was just me waiting for something to trigger somebody’s wave of discomfort/trauma about something related for the catching/eating of the fish. Although actually, description of the fish-catching as a metaphorical construct aside, it occurs to me that gems who aren’t heavily human socialized (so, anyone not Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, or Steven) would probably not see have any immediate unsettled response to any flesh-ilfe-form’s blood and internal workings beyond “this is messy”. Like, they’d have no reason to have the awkward sympathetic discomfort that I think a lot of humans get about such things, because of course gems aren’t flesh-life-forms.

20) When the boat starts shaking, I love the fact that Lapis immediately asks Steven what’s going on, like, Yes Lapis the Boat Shaking is a Very Important Human Boating Ritual, Perfectly Normal. It’s great.

21) Okay so wait. There was trouble with something (presumably Jasper) fouling up the rudder somehow (I’m imagining her accidentally getting her hair caught in there to be honest) and that’s legit okay plot is happening. But like. The engine also gave out. Is that a that thing fouling up the rudder can even do, or did Greg just happen to rent a boat that would have a) possibly gotten someone with no gem powers at hand stranded in the middle of the ocean to maybe starve to death and b) stuttered to a stop possibly forcing awkward conversation and weirdness even if plot wasn’t happening around it?

22) “It’s my fault. I’m the one to blame.” For the boat breaking, Lapis? “I can’t stop thinking about being fused as Malachite. How I used all my strength to hold her down in the ocean, how I was always battling against Jasper to keep her bound to me.” Okay, that’s guilt, I’m getting, that’s guilt, and probably some pain of injury, and what were those two throwing at each other down their in their minds? For that matter- did Malachite the fusion have even any chance to form a mind for herself? (Maybe it would be better if she didn’t have.)

23) “But it’s not like that anymore,” says Steven. Oh god, I didn’t notice this the first time. That’s the same thing Peridot says when trying to make up with Lapis before she’s ready. And the same point applies here- maybe it isn’t like that anymore, but the past still matters, what’s happened to us and what we’ve done still matters. And I think that Steven, who forgives (people who aren’t Marty or Kevin or Jasper) so very easily, who loves and (almost always) lets go of bitterness (particularly recently as his powers have started working and he doesn’t have to be afraid of not having them) and who’s succeeded (often enough that he’s trusted to do his thing) so much that he assumes his way is the correct one, Steven doesn’t necessarily get so much that even when a thing is done, it takes more than a skip, a hop, and a song to make the past better.

24) “You don’t have to be with Jasper.” Steven, oh Steven. I don’t think that she ever really did. And Lapis knows that.

25) “That’s not it. I miss her.” It occurs to me that her time as Malachite is probably the longest time, the first time, she’s spent in a stable (by which I mean ‘not likely to randomly change without her input’) situation over which she had any control at all for the last 5000 years. Trapped in the mirror, she had no agency. As Homeworld’s/Jasper’s/Peridot’s prisoner, she had no agency. But as Malachite, Lapis was a driving force bolting them together; as long as she didn’t let go, she had a lot of the power. It isn’t an excuse and it certainly isn’t right, but, is it any wonder really that Lapis misses the certainty of a fight against someone she had a reason (and an excuse) to fight, the certainty of a fight that she, for a long time, was winning? “We were fused for so long...“ Longer than any fusion bar Garnet that we have any precedent about.

26) “But- she’s terrible!” Steven only knows Jasper as an enemy, who, you know, knocked him out and also poofed (killed part of his mind probably insists in nightmares) one of his mothers in front of him. And that was his first experience with her- even Peridot, with her robonoids and suchforth, left a more neutral impression (even if this was partially because it happened before Steven had much context at all for Homeworld and what an invasion might mean). Jasper’s alarmingness (see a few points down) and sudden let’s-attack-Steven from this episode probably did not help that impression at all. I think Jasper might be Steven’s next big hurdle of understanding-folks. I hope we get a Jasper redemption, but I also hope we see Steven’s processing the way he distrusts Jasper, and see him (hopefully) decide to give her the chance he’s given others.

26) “I’m terrible! I did horrible things- I broke your dad’s leg, I stole Earth’s ocean- Go on! Tell me I’m wrong!” Honestly, even without Jasper’s sudden appearance, I feel like this episode could have got a whole lot done. Like. This conversation with Steven and Lapis definitely needs to happen. As much as Lapis needs Steven’s optimism and love and brightness, she needs him to stop brushing what she did under the table, she wants him to stop brushing it under the table. It probably makes her feel like she’s deceiving him, like she’s hiding things from him in order to have his support. And Steven needs to stop brushing it under the table so he can better help Lapis, and for his own safety- not from Lapis but in general. This black-and-white view of good-bad, even heavily skewed toward white, could well have him walking into a situation that just needs him to leave it alone for a little, to address very real issues and dangers.

27) Jasper appears, and her expression is moderately alarming. Like, all that fan art of how Jasper smiling friendly-like is still alarming? That alarming, but moreso because in this context it makes her look... like she’s been upset somehow. Like, in the literal stirred around until her behaviour is all in odd order way.

28) Also, given the rest of the day, I’m wondering how much Lapis may be thinking am I hallucinating did my thinking about her so much summon her wait are we still trapped somewhere am I still trapped somewhere is this reality Steven do you see her too? or stuff like that.

29) Okay the Lapis flinching as Jasper approaches does lead me to think that Jasper did something at some unspecified time that made a large mark on Lapis’ Afraid-Of-This meter.

30) “She’s the one you should be afraid of.” Jasper, are you implying you are afraid of Lapis? And hiding it (working through it) because as an old general (an old soldier) you’re used to that much? Also, Jasper, even sharing space with Lapis for months hasn’t taught you that Steven is not his mother? (Then again, it could be deliberate stubbornness as a reaction to any point of view Lapis has...)

31) “That’s not true.” I think, what Lapis means it that Steven specifically has nothing to fear from her.

32) “I thought I was a brute. But you, you’re a monster.” What the hell happened down there guys. What the hell. (Also. Is Jasper meaning particularly things Lapis did to her, while keeping them trapped together? Or is Jasper meaning that she’s seen bits of memories of things Lapis has done in the long-past, before or during the war? During Lapis’ much obscured history.)

33) Okay, the hitting Steven so hard he goes flying (or, for that matter, at all) is just not on. Jasper, we know Lapis wronged you, but that’s not how you continue this dialogue. (On a meta level, with that move that is clearly not okay, is the Crewniverse trying to make two wrongs don’t make a right very, very clear? And also, for that matter, keep Jasper established as Not Yet Good At All but More Complicated Than You Think? There was that magic the gathering color identity tweet or post or whatever by someone of the Crewniverse who also said we’ll be seeing some of that Complicated later, so...)

34) Where is Greg during all this, how much does he see, how much does he hear?

35) “Let’s be Malachite again!” “Why... would you want that?” It’s really, really alarming actually to see Jasper in that position of supplication. Like. Holy shit. None of these kids are okay. And Lapis’ expression seems to put across the same what the fuck oh shit you’re not okay are you.

36) Jasper’s whole Fusion Is Great Now We Can Be Super Strong! Stronger Even That Either Of Us! is really rather disturbing when put into both the context of Homeworld and it’s gem experiments thing and its cross-gem-fusions-are-an-abomination-that-must-all-die thing and in the context of Garnet’s major issues with fusing just to be stronger.

37) But. “We could fly!” I can understand that. We only saw the short shot of them flying in battle against Alexandrite, but, is it possible that between trying to mentally kill the fuck out of each other, that Malachite (how much of her independently there ever was) or Jasper and Lapis just. Flew somewhere as fast as they could go, trying to escape themselves?

38) For that matter- obviously Malachite is a very literally toxic fusion (google malachite gemstone toxicity for more information on that fun symbolism). But in other cases, what’s the difference between fusing solely for power, and fusing because you become someone you enjoy being because you can do such wonderful things which include, yes, flying and being extremely strong? Isn’t that what Sugilite has been, when we’ve seen her? As long as all parties are cool with each other to begin with, seriously, where are we drawing the line?

39) The whole dialogue between Lapis and Jasper is just really, really twisted up. “It’ll be better this time! I’ve changed! You’ve changed me!” promises Jasper, who by Lapis’ own account was the one so much was being taken out on. It’s like. Two abuse narratives being twisted back around upon one another, compounding each other. Yeah... none of these people are okay.

40) “I’m the only one that can handle your kind of power!” It’s tugging at my memory, but I’ve heard this line before. Read it somewhere, in a situation like this... An old Xena fanfic, a Buffy fanfic? Whatever it was, it was not of the good, and both people involved were hurting eachother in exactly this way.

41) Okay so people keep giving Lapis shit about punching Jasper off the boat without apologizing or actually fixing any of their issues beyond airing them a bit, but might I just point out that Lapis punched Jasper off the boat and far away immediately after Jasper began charging Steven and shouting “I’ll shatter you!” ? Steven is still squishy and not at all up to any sort of combat with Jasper, and it is certainly not wrong for anybody’s first reaction to be Keep the threat away from Steven!

42) Is this a new ending song? Like, a new part of the ever-progressing ending song? Huh. Cool.

Well that got long. Lots of thoughts and conclusions. See you next time, folks.