Sometimes writing historical fiction is like... you just want to know. You know you can't know, that no one knows and the evidence isn't there and barring some miraculous rediscovery, won't ever be, or you know if it's possible to know, it's buried in unpublished records or in publications you don't have the ability to access and might even need a postgrad degree to access or understand. But you just want to know. And you can't.
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