#(here's me just discovering the shang/mulan ship name)

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

Who's your favourite 'conventionally attractive Golden Boy™ who falls utterly head over heels for an unconventional looking powerhouse of a woman' pairing?

[scarletwelly-boots]

In honor of Pride, I’m sharing my LGBT Disney headcanon identities. Some have maybe one detail in their narratives that I took and ran with, and some are more commonly considered queer or queer-coded (or at least have more signs that I picked up on). Happy Pride!

Mulan: Genderfluid. I know that canonically she had reasons to pretend to be a man and that after she was discovered she dressed more typically feminine, but I have read some truly fantastic Genderfluid!Mulan fics, and as a genderfluid person who has grown up fascinated by Mulan, I like to view her as like me.

Shang: Bisexual. C’mon, did you not see his face when Mulan kicked him over that first time?! Boy was in love with her before she was outed. 

Ling/Yao/Chien Po: Poly. Yes, I know they have a whole song about girls and in the sequel they marry a bunch of princesses, but they were super close friends and had really good chemistry, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they all got together. 

Sebastian: Gay. That blue crab in the Under the Sea number is his boyfriend. And my name is Bastien and I’m gay, so Sebastian is also gay. I don’t make the rules. 

Ursula: Trans. Listen. This is the epitome of queer-coded villains. She was designed after a drag queen. I’m not saying all drag queens are trans, but a lot of historically labeled drag queens have since turned out to actually probably be trans. And there isn’t a point where she’s not presenting as a woman, so she’s likely not just in drag. 

Melody/Henry (Prince Charming): trans. OH MY GOD. This is my most bonkers Disney conspiracy theory. I’m sorry in advance for the long story with this one. So a year or two ago I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole about Disney theories and crossover theories. One theory was that there was (albeit conspiracy-esque) evidence to suggest Ariel is Prince Charming AKA Henry’s mom. The main reason I remember is that both are ginger, but I know there were other details. So the video creator was trying to figure out what happened to Melody between Little Mermaid II and Cinderella, but never thought Melody and Henry might be the same person. My theory based on this: Henry IS Melody. After LM2 he realized he was trans. It fits with the crossover theory without needing to explain why Melody was not at her potential-brother’s wedding. I know there’s a lot of conditions for this to work, but I think it makes more sense than the Melody and Charming are siblings but Melody is inexplicably MIA theory.

Lumiere and Cogsworth: Gay. Come on. Obviously. I will also accept that Lumiere is bi/pan and in a relationship with Cogsworth and Babette or w/e her name is. Doesn’t work as well with the live action BatB, but maybe Cogsworth is married and Lumiere is dating the feather duster and they’re also dating each other?

LeFou: Gay. Like even before the live action this much was obvious. Gaston should’ve A.) treated him way better, and B.) opened his goddamn eyes and stopped chasing Belle. (I’m on the fence about Gaston’s possible queerness though.)

Hades: Gay. I recently heard that James Woods, Hades’s VA, is homophobic. So now I’m headcanoning this out of spite in addition to, I’m sorry MF-er, but you played this guy ridiculously queer-coded. He’s gay. Deal, Woods. 

Timon/Pumbaa: Do I even have to say it? They raised TWO kids together!!! Gay!!!!

Scar: Gay. That lion was queer-coded to hell and back. I know there’s issues with villains being queer-coded, but if he’s gay, I’m counting him. 

Terk: Lesbian. Duhhh. She’s voiced by Rosie O’Donnell, of course she’s gay! Also all of her friends are guys, which I’m not saying makes you gay, but makes her butch-ness pretty damn overt.

Shere Khan: Gay. Sorry, I might ship him a leeetle bit with Scar. 

Baloo/Bagheera: These two were Timon and Pumbaa before Timon and Pumbaa. They’re gay. No, I will not take constructive criticism.

Jafar: Gay. Man, there is a huge problem with queer-coding villains in Disney. I know he sexually harasses Jasmine, but there could be a few reasons for this (other than the fact that he’s a jackass and needs to STOP): performative heterosexuality or bi. Or power-hungry AF and not caring what he has to do to get it. I’m leaning toward that one.

Genie: Pan or Ace. I could see him going either way. I think he gets a girlfriend in the tv show, so likely either pan or panromantic asexual. 

Elsa: Queer. Obviously.

Side note: I ship Elsa and Cinderella in the Wreck-It Ralph 2!verse. The bedroom eyes they give each other in the loungewear scene?! My gay ass felt that. 

Merida: Ace. C’mon. She’s literally an arrow ace! Isn’t this a thing? “I’ll be shooting for my own hand”???? Girl is ace AF.

Buzz/ Woody: Do I have to say gay? Is it not obvious? Get out of here with that Jessie/ Bo Peep shit. I can play in the poly sandbox just like with Lumiere and Cogsworth. And we do not acknowledge TS4 in this house. That movie was a disgrace. 

Jessie: Lesbian. I’ll take bi or pan if you want to insist she’s in a relationship with Buzz. She’s a cowgirl though.

7 Dwarves: Are they brothers? Or just roommates/coworkers? If they’re brothers, absolutely disregard because I’m not an incest shipper (okay, with the exception of Thorki). Otherwise, poly.

Donald Duck: genderfluid. Have you not seen that post going around of all the times Donald wears a dress and it’s not as a punchline? Donald is genderqueer in some capacity.

Live action BatB Stanley: genderfluid or bigender. He seems pretty chill about wearing typical men’s clothes, but when Madame de Garderobe gives him a dress he’s fucking thrilled. Stanley is me when I put on a binder. Genderfluid.

Kuzco: Pan and bigender. He’s very queer, both gender- and sexuality-related. Like he dresses as a woman in a whole scene and I don’t remember him putting up much of a fight about doing it? I could be wrong.

Feel free to add your own.