#(funny thing is Vizerxa's interpretation is very different)
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hehehehe :>
ok so!
"Knew it already fine, misery inside" his knowledge of being in a cage makes it impossible to really enjoy things much, or him knowing something's wrong before he officially found out
"At myself, I would laugh, fallen down behind" humor to try and make up for it
"But I don't know a thing, love or losing, see? So I threw to the side any human in me" try to deny his humanity
"If I live a lie of shallow words and empty replies Then what am I? Hitting the walls of a stage that I couldn’t break" probably hin starting to panic when he first found out / realized the cage
"Then it stuck to my head, gotta run away" cage became more and more obvious to him
"Playing out like a scene, posing every lead / Near the end of the show, waiting in the wing, see? Run to the front stage, you're all actors anyway. No one to watch , you're all part of the play" he's started seeing how everyone else is in the same cage too technically, they just dont know
"There’s no one inside me/there's no one that's hiding/Always been me, empty, a body but nobody here to see" cage
"Broke it all with a touch if I do recall" Fyodor showing him the "truth", probably
"Hiding all of the shame, all I did was fall" same as b4
"We were young, never bound by a single sin" used to be young & y'know. not murderers
"Til before we could see, we were monsters in skin" time moves too fast
"But even if I had tried to move on why can't I leave my past?" look me in the eyes and tell me his past actions (murder) have no effect on him
"All they want now is safety from what's around" other people's ignorance is their bliss
"Waiting for help but never learning how" he doesn't know how to escape exactly. he's trying but chances are fyodors not helping
" So standing at the font line and maybe this time I'll be there with a flag high, outmatched but easygoing" him getting dazai and Fyodor from meursault
"Never gonna need a script with me / And here I keep them burning to twist the plot dramatically again" he went against Fyodors plan
"the final act im shaken to my knees, yet crying and lonely" is when Fyodor 'dies', & nikolai's following grief & despair. the following parts to the "instead you can see me break down from above" are him trying to tell himself it doesn't matter anyways bc emotions are useless to keep, but he's still very much grieving
"hey remember when you saw that they were nearing their end?" part is him to/about himself, in reference to how insane he acts w/ his murder victims
"So, hurry up and bite down whoever you found/ game over, give it up now/ mayday, a double agent/ struggling over love and discontent" him after Fyodor's death again, when the game is over. he's. struggling with his grief lmao
"A curtain dyed in black soon came to be/ And knowing that those eyes are watching.." Fyodor's end, and ssk literally watching
missing lyrics chunks i coudlnt explain rn. i give up my editing page kept reloading when I switched tabs to get lyrics and i am NOT patient i am in fact very furious with tumblr now <3
UGH MYSTIC I DESPISE YOU FOR INTRODUCING ME TO DRAMATURGY/j
Ive been meaning to answer your ask about how it could remind you of Nikolai but my thoughts about this song are incomprehensible and I'm feral :)
ITS LIKE. AUGH?!?!? I have been listening to it on repeat. HHEUSHDHSJHS ITS JUST SO ADDICTIVE. Look at what you've done/lh
But I could definitely see it as Nikolai and Fyodor as the man behind the curtain!
hehehehe :>
ive come up with like. 2-3 different meanings/interpretations of it relating to Nikolai shshsh
dw bro its stuck in my head too </3
ye :>
#(funny thing is Vizerxa's interpretation is very different)#yes yes yes :>>>#fhis was so difficult to type bc the page kept reloading every other time i jumped between my lyric page and this. fuck reloads.
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