#(except pineapple pizza. ive never tried it.)

[shortyisweird9]

'Lonely ghost serie'

Building bridges- part IV

Tw⚠️: swearing

Corpse was panicking, his heart beating in his chest as his legs moved him one part of his secret room to the other.

The reason for his panick? You.

He wanted to speak with you more, he enjoyed the slightly pessimistic but still loveable personality you have, the voice changer being something he was curious about.

Why did you wear it? Do you really hate your voice? Or did something happened and now you are ashamed of it or were you more concerned about keeping the anonymity of your presence? The possibilities were endless and so the kind of message he wants to send you.

Should he say just hi? Should he introduce himself in a longer paragraph? Should he just...send you a meme? His mind inclined towards that more: I mean if she doesn't like memes, she isn't the one.

————————————————————

You woke up with a startle when your phone decided to go off. You swore beneath your breath, your joints popping as you reach for your phone placed on the desk in front of you. Didi wasn't with you and right now you were too tired to care for it.

You moved your hair out of your face hissing when part of it tugged on your piercings. Your eyes leaking from the pain.

-Pentru numele Lui Dumnezeu.("For the love of God.")

You puffed your cheeks and closed your eyes when your head made the unfortunate contact with your bed frame, it seemed today was not your day.

You were send this:

"What the fuck?"

You giggled as you tried to come up with a response on your own.

You hoped this was the real Corpse not some fan account who tried to masquerade as him, last thing you need was some stranger to invade your private accounts.

You didn't made an account just for ghost since you didn't want to start a channel anyway. You have a lot on your plate between organising the festival and your numerous assignments, you didn't have the mental capacity and energy to entertain a mass of people even thought the idea interested you.

But leaving Corpse unanswered was a crime so you started to dig up through memes that will be matching his response.

Corpse in the meantime was freaking out, cursing at himself for thinking you wanted to chat with him. You already were a reserved person how dare he disturb your peace, how dare he comes in your DMs to only message you a lame ass-

Oh, you send him something back.

'You liked avocados, right? :))'

His heart melted for a bit but wait...he never said anything about avocados in that stream, he barely talked actually preferring to hear you tease and blame others. Does that...DOES THAT MEAN YOU WATCH HIS VIDEOS?

His hands shook in excitement, the smile in his face growing that means you probably liked him enough to continue to chat with him and he couldn't be more eager to.

'Yeah. I like pineapples too.'

'Pineapples? Even on pizza?'

'Especially on pizza!'

":)))). Okay, pineapple boy. I mean I don't personally like pineapples, I think I might be allergic to them actually but still...my mom likes pineapple on pizza tho."

'Sorry to hear that ,what fruits do you like ?'

Really, ' what fruits do you like'? Oh my fucking God , I swear to-

He facepalmed himself before paying attention to your conversation once again.

'Well,um I like peaches,bananas and mango and green grapes. Man, now I crave a bowl of peaches.'

'Mother I crave PeAcHeS.'

'Lol, yeah. Violence too.'

'Oh?'

'My neighbours been having a fucking sex orgy from how loud they were. Motherfuckers planning a milk farm.'

'Oh my god-ahahaha'

You sighed as you imagine him laughing, your knees melting everytime you heard him chuckle incoherently when he fails to swipe the card. Someone so precious,damn you need to be illegal.

'Up to play today?' He asked you.

You bit your thumb's nail,did you? I mean sure but your nerves were already extended to the max. Yesterday you went through an anxiety attack, but...

"Fuck it."

'Sure, I will love to.'

':) I'll send you the invitation soon.'

You sighed loudly as you held the phone as if it was the anchor that kept you from floating away. Smiling like an idiot.

Definitely, no one is allowed to make me feel this way.

————————————————————

You remained silent as you held in the pain from hitting your right knee on the chair's holders.

"Hello! Ghost?"

It was Corpse and he sounded excited,was it because of you? Nah, he is just in a better mood.

You couldn't except the idea of someone loving you truthfully as more than a friend, you couldn't let yourself believe you are worthy of such love ,not from an angel like him.

"Y-Yeah, hold on. Auch, fir-ai tu de scaun!" You cursed forgetting that your mic was on and that Corpse couldn't understand you.

"Ah, what?"

Aw,shit. Here we go again...

"H-Hi ah I mean ,hello. Yeah, hello...Corpse."

"Hello to you too goofball. What was that you said?"

"Umm..."

----------------------------------------------

"So you were basically cursing out a chair?"

"He hit me first."

"Honey, baby, a chair cannot hit you. It's just an object, a piece of furniture. "

"Easy for you to say, your chair didn't send you flying on numerous times."

You both laughed at the stupidity of the situation, you certainly didn't think that Corpse will be the one who will finally notice your ongoing drama with the chair.

"I am just saying , if I am found murdered, you know who to blame."

He rolled his eyes at you. Such a drama queen.

"Why did I thought you were American tho? Rae never mention anything about this and you even have an accent. "

"Is it Russian?"

"No, but it's there."

"Some people thought I have a lisp. I mean they are not wrong ,I have a gap in my teeth but still..."

"Probably, anyway ready to hang out with the rest?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Hey,hey. Calm down, I am nervous just like you."

"Even when you know them?"

You hated how vulnerable you sounded but he loved it every second because it meant you trust him to show your nervousness with him. To show a version some bitches may find pathetic, but not him. Never him.

"Well, it's not exactly easy to play when a beautiful woman is by your side."

Ah! You sneaky little-

"Well, that goes both ways you know? Now lead the way, gorgeous. I want to see just how flustered I can make you."

The Adam's apple in his neck trembled as he swallowed his shock, the voice changer did nothing to hide the flirtation and mischief in your tone. It only accentuated them.

"Y-Yes ,ma'am. "

——————————————————

"BOOYAH! That's how you do it! Man ,Corpse I wish I could high five you."

You jumped back into your chair, basking in his sounds of happiness and the sounds of disappointment of the others.

"Oh,man!"

"Sucks to suck, Sykkuno."

Another wave of 'huh' send you laughing head back.

"Aw,man. Not you too, Corpse."

"YOU CORRUPTED HIM!" Pooki accused you.

"No comment. Anyway ,guys, I seriously need to sleep tomorrow I have a huge lesson to attend to."

"That's sucks."

"Tell me about it." You giggled, your hands clasped into each other." Goodnight, guys."

"But it's--"

Oops , sorry Grease.

You stretched, your legs and lower back hurting from sitting in the same crossed position for 2 and a half hours.

A bing brought you from the realm of thoughts. It was from Corpse.

'I hope you had fun playing with us. :)'

'I did! Thanks for inviting me.'

'Of course! Hey, umm... can I ask you something?'

You titled your head, what could he want at 3 in the morning?

'Can we talk more tomorrow?'

Oh.

'Of course. Got me worried there for a second, I thought I did something wrong. '

'What no! You are fine.'

'Okay :)). Night.💗'

He sent you a voice message.

"Good night, baby."

————————————————————

Hey guys!💖

Hope you liked the fourth part of the serie. If you have any questions, ask away. Memes are obviously not mine, I don't have the talent.

Btw. What's your zodiac sign? Answer if you'll like.

Stay safe!💗

Tagged 💖: @moolujk @magenta-skyline @yoyoanaria @cherry-piee @simonsbluee @gaysludge @yikesyikesyikes95

[itsnotokbutwereallright]

Oh! Oh! If you’re taking prompts from the Drabble list, could you do a #38/39?? Or your choice!!

This rambling brought to you by writer's block, margaritas, and a sudden urge to write instead of working from home.

*****************

"I'm just tired"

"It just...hurts"

The capacity for want had been beaten out of Natalia and the other Red Room girls early. They were taught that wanting something meant it could be used against them. Money, fame, and the attention of a beautiful woman were the most common desires of their targets; the Red Room trained them to ensure the third became the only. Natalia quickly became adept at manipulating men (and sometimes women) to succeed. They were taught first not to express wanting. If a girl wanted a specific weapon, it was used against her. If they asked for an extra portion, they went hungry. And if they asked to rest, the girl never came back to her bed. Instructors repeatedly hammered into the girls that their only desire should be to serve the Soviet state; anything else was a weakness, and there was no weakness allowed in the Red Room. The girls learned not to ask for anything, and they learned to accept what they were given. 

One time, at the end of what had been a particularly bloody mission, she caught herself wishing she had more discretion about who died at her hands. She made the mistake of asking her handler why even those in their beds had to die. Her arm was broken and she was forced to sleep in a concrete cell for a week without medical care for questioning the orders she was given. It was a painful, but effective, lesson. Wishing led to wanting.

It wasn't until a man in black with a fucking bow and arrow was chasing her through Eastern Europe that anyone brought up wanting with Natalia again. When he finally cornered her in Budapest, panting against a wall with blood in her eyes and an arrow aimed at her heart, Hawkeye asked, "Do you want to hear an offer that doesn't end with an arrow in a vital organ?" She'd been planning to catch her breath so she could break his hands. The recruitment offer had sparked a pain in her chest that she'd grit her teeth against as she nodded. 

The next few days were a blur of questioning, testing, and more instances of that chest pain than she was willing to acknowledge. People kept asking her what she wanted, so Natalia did what she had been taught to do - manipulated them into giving her an indication of what they wanted and pushing that agenda forward. It was determined she was able to be released to the SHIELD base at large after only four days. When she walked into the cafeteria for her first meal outside of a cell, all eyes were on her until she slipped on a friendly mask and went through the line. The agents cautiously turned back to their meals, except for Hawkeye (Agent Barton, she reminded herself). He studied her with those cool blue eyes and a wry twist of the mouth as she sat, then stole the pudding cup off her tray. It was a game she'd been playing for as long as she could remember, and she knew better than to show a reaction. It turned that twist into a frown, but Natalia ignored it as she ate the vegetables off her plate and diverted him with asking about the various facilities. He'd want her to take an interest in her new home.

Clint would needle her into making choices between two things - pineapple on pizza or no? Milky Way or Three Musketeers? Cats or dogs? He normally did it at a time where she was focused on something else - once, memorably, as she was hanging out the passenger window trying to blow out the tires of an SUV that was chasing them through the streets of Puerto Vallarta. She'd been annoyed about that one and took it out on him on the mats - in the middle of the night, after she dragged him from his bed. Afterwards, as he lay panting on his back, he gasped out the logic. If she didn't have time to think, if he could get her brain to turn off, it became more of a gut instinct. She couldn't play off of what people wanted to hear, he'd said while side-eyeing her. The searing pain in her chest stopped her from acting on a want right then. She'd strolled to the locker room only to collapse with shuddering breaths as soon as the door closed. Natasha resolved that she would get rid of this trigger on her own. No matter how long it took. 

Six months later, she hadn't progressed much beyond smacking Clint's hand away from her pudding cups and stealing his fluffiest blanket when she came to his room. There would be plenty of times that Clint flashed that grin at her, the one so sure of itself, that she had to step back to keep the pain from showing. The smile dimmed a little, but it made Natasha work harder for the day when she could show how she felt.

A year after that, Natasha had started stealing the cookies off his tray, and was firmly team pineapple. She was able to go to him on particularly rough nights (the hospital fire, waking up to the smell of smoke in her nose and a ringing in her ears) and ask to stay - always on his couch. He didn't ask about the bed after her first vehement rejection of the idea. 

It was another six months before she could say the words to her mirror. The day that Natasha convinced herself to say them outside of her room, she walked into breakfast to find him sitting hip to hip with an agent named Bobbi - sharing a muffin. The heaving in her stomach had never been a sign of a trigger before, so she could only blame herself. Natasha dipped her head courteously as she nabbed an apple and headed back out to the gym. Stupid girl - wanting is weakness. The faintly Slavic accent couldn't be ignored, no matter how much Natasha had changed since the Red Room. They were right all along. It would just have to be packed away and ignored. She'd done it this long, she could keep doing it.

Except that she couldn't close Pandora's box once it had been opened. Every laugh, every secretive wink, every time Clint showed up to a briefing late and flushed, it was like a dagger to her heart. Natasha pushed herself as hard as the Red Room had taught her and tried desperately to forget. The risks that she took on missions became greater; Coulson and Clint side-eyeing her in briefings but unable to argue with results. And that pain in her chest became more and more frequent, until it was just a continuous pain that made her want to scream that Clint was HERS. Still she kept quiet, though the distraction of Clint and Bobbi started causing mistakes. Little ones at first that only she noticed, but they gradually became larger. When they were panting in a warehouse in Istanbul (not Constantinople, dammit Clint for singing that on the way here) it was clear she had Fucked Up. They had found temporary cover and Clint was cursing in several languages as he tried to staunch the bleeding from her abdomen. 

"What is going on with you?! You've been in black ops for as long as you've been alive! What the hell were you thinking?!"

She shook her head. She hadn't been thinking. At least, not of the mission. She'd been thinking about the slim gold band she'd seen Bobbi Morse wearing in the cafeteria this morning. One that matched the ring on the chain Clint stashed in his locker on the Quinjet before they disembarked. "I'm just tired."

He snorted at her. "Oh, spare me the bullshit. You could beat these assholes with only your pinky toe if you had your head in the game." They heard the roaring of ATVs at the same time. "Keep the pressure on that. I'll take care of this and then we're going home to figure this shit out." She shook her head again, but he ignored her and moved to high ground to take out the gang they had been assigned to monitor. Once that was done and the emergency evac was on its way, Natasha pretended to pass out to avoid the discussion. She did actually pass out from shock at some point, she assumed, as she woke up in a white room in a med bay with fresh stitches and an IV. Clint had his dirty boots on her bed as he played an invisible drum set to music only he could hear. It was just another thing she lo- 

Sharp pain, gasping as she came off the bed. Clint jerked up and tried to grab her so she didn't run. "Tasha, Tasha, I'm here! You're safe! It's okay!" Shallow, rapid breaths as she tried to focus on something other than the necklace that she could glimpse beneath his collar. "Come on, Nat, deep breaths," he tried to soothe as he reached to jab the nurse call button. 

"Back. Up," she managed to force out as she slapped his hand away from her remote. A panic attack. God, if Ivan could see her now. Yelena would kill her in a heartbeat. Clint jerked back, more from surprise than anything else. Hurt showed in his eyes, but he stayed with her. Natasha forced her breathing to regulate. If this is what her body was forcing her to, she would have to fess up. It took several minutes to get her breathing under control, but Clint stayed the whole time. "Sit down and stop staring at me," she grumbled at him.

"Excuse me for being concerned," he snapped, but he sat. "Does this mean you're ready to explain?"

Natasha closed her eyes and nodded. "You don't get to say anything until I'm done." It wasn't worth checking for a response. "I love you, Clint. It's not fair for me to say that to you, not with what you and Bobbi have, but I can't not tell you. It just...hurts. I've wanted to say something for two years, but I was trying to break the conditioning and I couldn't even out, and then when I could it was too late, and ever since then it's just been pain and I feel so weak and I hate it," her breathing started speeding up again and she had fistfuls of the sheets as she tried to anchor herself but couldn't and she ruined everything and…

Clint placed his hand over hers. "Two years?" Natasha slowly nodded, not loosening her grip on the sheets. "What a mess," he sighed. Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to cry in front of him. "Tasha, I've loved you since that day you let me steal the pudding off your tray without breaking all of my fingers. I waited for you to be ready. No one should go through what you've gone through. You survived, and you deserve to set your life on your terms. Bobbi and me? It was a bet that escalated really quickly. She's got her sights set on some British hot shot, and I've been busy pining after my partner." A tear leaked out of her eye and was brushed away, causing her to open them. "I want you, Natasha."

Finally, finally she could say the words. "I want you, too." He moved to capture her lips and she put a hand on his chest. "I also want a shower. And some food. Like pineapple pizza."

"Aw, Nat," was Clint's answering whine.

"And then? We'll see what else we find out I want."

He laughed, loud and long, and was allowed to push the button to call the nurse. "Let's get out of here."

[audreyineu]

budapest 4/6-4/7

getting to budapest i knew my time was limited, i only got a day and a half there, so i tried my best to hit the ground running. arriving at the hostel i found that check-in did not begin for 2 more hours though, so that kind of stopped me, but i just used the time to get some food. using that lovely little app called google maps i found a small pizza shop called pizza manufaktura and had a hawaiian pizza (pineapple on pizza is GOOD just accept it already). i also had some cherry juice, which was really good actually. i’ve never really seen fully cherry flavored drinks outside of icees, so that's definitely something that america needs to work on. i also discovered that the hungarian word for cherry is meggy. nice. 

i still had an hour to kill after that though so i tried to go find an atm and accidentally walked into the nagyvásárcsarnok, or, for english speakers, the great market hall. it’s an actual full-blown market where people bought their groceries

like people actually came here and picked out their meats, got some vegetables, maybe some spices. it was so cool to see. yeah sure i’ve been farmers markets back home but this was fully someone’s grocery store and it was just interesting to see the difference

the upstairs part was for the tourists and had a bunch of handmaid souvenirs, sometimes the person was sitting out in front of the stall sewing the cloths like the ones in the picture (its blurry, sorry)

there was also a basement-like area and i’m pretty sure the budapest black market operates in it. i’m on a pacific rim kick right now because of the sequel (which wasn’t that good but that’s a different blog post) and if you’ve seen the first one, i really felt like ron pearlman was about to walk out of a secret doorway and offer me some kaiju bone. it was honestly kinda scary, no one was really down there and most of what was being sold was meat and HUGE fish that they kept in a really really small tank, which i’m not really sure would be considered humane? but i guess they were there to get killed so. i’ll let peta deal with that one. 

i wanted to get a picture but the guys behind the stands were very big and also staring me down every time i passed. i decided they wouldn’t like the tourist girl taking pictures of their very compact fish.

anyway, i went back upstairs and bought some cookies, isler and puszedli. isler was a cookie covered with chocolate with jam in the middle and puszedli was a kind of gingerbread muffin type thing covered in a chocolate or vanilla frosting (chocolate was the best one for me). they were both really good but i gotta give a special shout-out to the isler. 

after that it was time to check in so i got changed out of my travel clothes and tried to figure out what to do. i decided to take one of those hop-on hop-off tours, which i typically try to avoid like the plague because i’m not a fan of blatantly shouting out to a place that “hey i’m a tourist!!” but, i had a limited time and those are good to see a city quickly

i rode around for a while. now consider these photos were all #shotonaniphone7 and taken on a moving vehicle so they're not great but.. its what i saw . budapest is pretty darn cool

i got intrigued by a set of stairs looked a bit italian, so i got off on the next stop, and that was definitely the right choice. i found myself at what i think was the bud castle (turns out budapest has two parts, buda and pest separated - i think - by the danube).

to get up you could either walk up a hill or pay to take a little tram car. i obviously chose the tram car, i can walk up a hill any day

all of the museums and the castle were closed by this point (it was around 6), so i couldn’t go in, but the views from up top were stunning

so i roamed around a bit

and started heading in the direction of the stairs that made me get off the bus in the first place. i wasn’t disappointed. it was a really cool little area, and felt really romantic. being there just kinda made you happy

and because i knew how to get back home from the liberty bridge, which was about two bridges down from where i was, i decided to walk back along the river (i took an evening stroll next to the danube!! how cool!) to the bridge to get back to my hostel. 

in my room i met a really nice girl from finland, she’ll come back into the story later, and got ready for bed for what i wanted to be an early morning so i could see as much as possible

of course this didn’t happen, i had a snorer in my room which kept me up so i slept through my alarm and didn’t end up leaving until 11. but it put me starting my day at lunchtime, and i’m not gonna complain about that! i found a small little restaurant called drum cafe who were known for their lángos and goulash. their menu was a trading card display book, which i loved, and i ordered from traditional beef goulash with rice

it was amazing. so so so good. i maybe ate it embarrassingly fast considering how much food there was but it was amazing, i didn’t want to stop eating it

after that i stopped in a small thrift shop i saw on the way there in hopes of buying the shirt that was on a mannequin in the window, but sadly the shirt was “only decoration.�� i did get two shirts there anyway

after i decided to walk over to the house of terror, a museum about the facist and communist regimes that held power in hungary and honoring those who died at the hands of those in power.

on the walk there i found a little antique market going on in an alley 

i almost bought an old hungarian swimming medal because why not, but i decided against it. there were all kinds of cool little knick knacks, but i restrained myself and began to actually walk to the museum

pictures were not allowed in the museum (i snuck one of the entrance) so i don't have any (except for the one i snuck) but the museum was increibily interesting. its one thing learning in history class about stuff that went on in eastern europe in the 40s-80s but its another to actually BE in a building where people were kept and tortured, a building where the arrow cross party (a nazi party based in hungary) and the state protection authority (the soviet secret police force in hungary) actually operated. it was. very very solemn. reading about life in that time and seeing the faces of all those who were killed. you ended the museum tour in the basement where the cells were and it was terrifying in there. maybe didn’t help that i was completely alone in the cells at that point, but it was so silent and dark and i think absolutely perfect to demonstrate how horrifying the experience would have been to be one of those prisoners. the doors to the cells weren’t even barred, they were fully solid. you wouldn’t even be able to see outside if you were shut in. every cell was solitary confinement.

so i left the house of terror and decided it was time for something a bit lighter and headed to the széchenyi thermal bath

yep, its THAT yellow building that you see in everyone’s pictures when they go to budapest. it was really nice and relaxing, though i gotta say would probably be better with a group rather than alone. i did meet some people there, but not the same as being there with friends goofing off, so i’ll have to make a return trip

afterwards i decided i’d get on the hop-on hop-off bus again since the man the first time never actually took my ticket and got some REAL hungarian lángos on my way there (if you remember i had some at the easter market in prague) and OH MY GOD was it good. the dough being freshly deep fried makes ALL the difference oh my god. literally just handed it to me out of the frier. i got it with cheese again and honestly i wish i’d just gotten it plain because the cheese took away from the dough. so, so good. it is a lot though, so if you ever get one i recommend that you get it to share

i got back on the bus and road around a bit, i really just wanted to get a better view of the parliament building

i got it for a little bit! not long enough to get a picture because i sat on the wrong side of the bus, but damn that's a beautiful building

i rode until the stop closest to my hostel & got off so i could pack up my stuff. i had a 6 am flight (i just got back to bristol as i’m writing this) and i wanted to be sure i had everything for my 3 am departure time to the airport. while packing my roommate from finland came in & we started talking and she invited me out with her and another guy in the hostel to go to one of the ruin bars called szimpla kert.  i thought you know what, we’d be out till around 2:00, why not just stay awake till i need to leave for airport and have a little fun doing it. so i booked a minibus to take me from the hostel at 3 am with another girl at the hostel and we set off to this ruin bar and 

WOW

they were playing a movie on a huge screen outside??? there was a room with a piano so people could just play music and sing?? there were so many different roms with different vibes and it was absolutely amazing . i wish i could have stayed longer! it was what every little hipster bar in williamsburg (brooklyn) is trying to be and god now that i’ve been to this bar i don’t think i’m gonna be able to go to another bar ever again 

after a night filled with singing (i WAS hanging out with two singers) we headed back at two so i could grab my bag and meet the other girl to leave for the airport and i made it with no problems. 

was i incredibly tired by the time i got on the plane? absolutely! but i had a fantastic time with some really cool people. and with that i’m back in bristol and ready to have some dinner. so i guess closing remarks? plan but at the same time don’t. let there be some spontaneity because spontaneity caused some of the best parts of my trip. also, WALK EVERY WHERE (if you can)

thanks for reading!

audrey