#(beyond what's socially appropriate in a given situation. i'm not actually an asshole)
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Actually it's fine that my academic conference outfits are incredibly shambly (baggy linen overalls and birkenstocks today) because that's the only thing standing between me becoming the besuited asshole guy who bludgeons you into oblivion with the force of his confidence
#i feel BAD cause i'm applying for the same job as one girl here and i'm clearly much more personable!#and like objectively succeeding at the work (unlike three months ago) and also at a really good school in comparatively cushy conditions#it's not my fault if i make people feel bad about themselves and i shouldn't dampen my natural cheerfulness and sharpness#(beyond what's socially appropriate in a given situation. i'm not actually an asshole)#it's ok though because my heart for the lord does shine out i am confident. and that's where the confidence comes from you know#(moki. please report to your sweet roommate who was concerned about my sanctification when i was raging about justin#that in fact what i need to do to get over that is lean into feeling like i'm a justin myself. it's quite sobering.)
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