#(and i also kinda dont like it when curly and no one else is labeled 'morally grey')

[hakugreenfinch]

i feel like many peoples mouthwashing analysis is... distorted by a false dichotomy of "good people" and "bad people". "curly is a bad person" "curly is a good person" i feel like trying to determine the characters' morality like santa claus is not exactly the way to think about this game. it makes me think a lot about an excellent video essay on the boy wizard books where op points out that in that world there are "no good or bad actions, only good or bad teams" - that is to say if a character is decided to be "good" they will get away with as much abuse as they like. and i feel like mouthwashing is the opposite of that, there are no "good or bad" people, there are people who do good or bad things and its those things that determine them. you dont have to be a "bad" person to do bad things but also your worst deeds wont brand you irredeemable or deserving of nothing good.

jimmy 100% believes hes not a bad person and bad things just keep happening to him because of everyone else that wont let him be "good", but ultimately hes also just a person that chooses to do more bad than good so if his worst moments dont define him what else is there? everyone else on the ship is more or less aware of their shortcomings and/or simply dont try to categorize themselves like this. swansea is a great example of someone who has given up on trying to be a "good person" and escaped the dichotomy instead of trying to fit himself in a box that doesnt even exist.

i just think discussion around curly would be a lot less heated if we just dealt with the uncomfortable fact that hes not a good or a bad person, hes just a man genuinely trying to do good that keeps failing, for one reason or another. he wants to be good and so does jimmy, we all do, but if we keep focusing too much on being "good people" it becomes a dangerous game.

(also this is why i kinda hate aus and whatnot where jimmy "gets what he deserves", the game makes it very clear that abuse is a bad action that cannot make you better than anyone.)

[jellitchi]

hello friends heres some more artist au ,,, i have A huge infodump under the cut ... u were warned

uhm mumbo is a tattoo artist in this au, hes the towns electrician primarily but he does tattoo work too. hes terrified of needles on his own skin but really enjoys the process of tattooing. i think he mostly does geometric stuff. probably hrm.

gem runs and owns the fishing dock/bait shop. shes born and raised in this town so shes been here her whole life. shes okay at painting but her real passion is with clay- specifically sculpting. shes taking a pottery workshop w grian but she like the freedom sculpting has that the wheel cant really give her...? if that makes sense.. she still likes it. when she paints she gravitates towards gouache and watercolors, she likes the fluidity she can achieve w em. also is very fond of how gouache lets u set it down then return and reactivate it w water again lol

pearl is a relatively successful artist, shes constantly traveling for art shows and also to host workshops/look for inspiration. she used to paint a lot, thats how she kinda got her fame... she used to paint this one girl a lot idk she has curly orange hair and freckles and shes always painted really beautifully. then stuff happened and now pearl mostly sculpts now. she still paints and her paintings are her most popular works but shes more into working w clay.

hm more abt this au, pearl and grian are siblings and both grew up learning oil painting. jimmy is also in this au im still figuring out a role but hes their cousin— basically brother— i was thinking pearls manager js coz i think itd b funny lol.

the setting is a small coastal town hrmm havent thought too much else abt it, was mostly pulling from coastal norcal ish...

in this au scar and grian are really really tight and have been living w each other for like 5/6 ish years. i dont think they officially get tgt... they think theyre woke asf n say they dont like labels (kinda kidding) the real reason is just timing. whenever grian is sick of running circles and works up the courage, scar usually has some complications hes working through and grian feels like hed just be another stressor added to his plate so he just wills it away... then when scar is like Im gonna do it. Im gonna tell him. Grian is experiencing sum kinda dilemma and is rly stressed so then scar is like well it can wait... (this goes on forEver.) whenever they do sync up, usually theyre far too scared about ruining their friendship and having to find a new roommate or something. they both r very important to each other and if bottling up their feelings means they can hold onto each other and keep each other around then thats what theyll do...! yeah theyre doomed🤦‍♂️.... they still basically do romantic activities tgt- they just think its normal coz its them.... also everyone around them thinks theyre secretly dating or smth anyways Yeah this is the au in a nutshell im such a sucker for long term pinning friends to lovers or whatever😭😭😭😭😭...

[shytastemakerthing]

hi id like to request a romantic twst matchup ^_^ i dont label my gender/sexuality and the way i present myself fluctuaes but i could consider myself as androgyne (he/she). im an afro-carib with caramel brown skin, 4a curly hair. im more on the chubby side with a round face (two moles on each side) and apple body shape. i have a bit of a resting bitch face as well.. and my voice is at most monotone amd flat.

im pretty calm and mellow most of the time.. like an observer in the background. im a soft-spoken guy. usually im relaxed and unshaken, though my motivation seems to come on a whim every other day so i may seem out of it at times. its easy to keep my composure for most things and keep my emotions in check.  i have tendencies to be passive-aggressive when provoked and im kinda stubborn but i swear that im chill and friendly.

its easy for me to pick up from setbacks. im naturally intelligent but i dont really study to keep it.. its not like i dont want because, im quite self-aware, its just the lack of motivation. im also quite clever when the time comes and people still seem surprised abt it. im also a realist and i tend to give advice rather than comfort when the time comes. when im around the people i love i seem more chatty that usual, not like super loud or outgoing but im def enjoying myself.

i also laugh at like everything even if its unfunny as hell. my humor is mostly sarcasm and satire tbh. i like trying new things for the sake of trying new things. i also like playing video games, indulging in my interests (drawing, fashion, movies, etc) or whatever seems to catch my eye. ive been wanting to get a bass guitar and grow a garden one day. im also told im quite good with babies but not toddlers. quite the pacifier. my love languages are quality time and parallel play and id like to receive acts of service and words of affirmation (or the ones i give). thanks!! ^_^

A/N: Hello and thank you so much for your request, anon! I do hope that you like your match-up! Enjoy!

Tw: None

I match you with..........

Ruggie Bucchi

Honestly, with how crazy his life is, between doing jobs for Leona, jobs for anyone else, trying to get his schoolwork done, being like an unofficial vice housewarden for Savanaclaw, he needs someone who is as calming as yourself, After such a long day, knowing that he could easily retreat into the safety and comfort of your arms makes his hyena beyond thrilled. It's his favorite part of the day.

Ruggie loved just how real you can be about things. Too many people just beat around the bush or try to sugar coat things when there are times where you just need the brutal honesty of a situation. Seeing how he grew up, it was easy to say that he had a similar mindset. Not everything is all sunshine and rainbows. So the fact that you'll just tell him things as they are, no beating around the bush or trying to make things better, it is something that he greatly admired about you.

Look at the hyena and tell me he isn't sarcastic in some way, shape, or form. Sure, he absolutely loved himself a good laugh, oh, but he just loved your sarcasm. It always brings a snicker out of him. This means he will also get sarcastic with you and at you, or crack some jokes as well, some being better than others.

Seeing how you keep your composure is something that's always impressed him (even more so if your the Ramshackle prefect, because if he was ripped out of his world, put in a brand new one where he knew absolutely nothing, put in a dorm that was falling apart at the very foundation, he didn't think he could keep his cool the way that you do), and he certainly thinks that a lot of the students here could learn a thing or two from you.

Oh, he absolutely loves your hair! He has seen hair like yours before, but not often. Now, he is a very dedicated partner (and also got some experience with a lot of the kids that were in the village he grew up in), meaning he learned everything about your specific style of hair. How to care for it, how to style it, the whole nine yards. If you ever need someone to work with and style your hair, he's the hyena for the job (he will even do it for free....... or maybe at least for a doughnut)

Overall, Ruggie is a very dedicated partner. He may not have much, but he finds anyway that he can be able to show that he can provide for you. Just the fact that you actually looked his way and gave him a chance means more to him than you could ever possibly know.

[cwispyhologwam]

Admit it. Rick Sanchez X F!Reader

Word count: 2,382

Rick was... out of it, I guess you could say he was still himself, but not really he just seemed, off. When Morty tried to ask if anything was wrong, Rick would respond in a "normal" Rick way but, it seemed forced. It was barely noticeable but he could tell, even though after Rick basically told him to fuck off he dropped it. It was just after the whole incident with Unity, which didn't make sense to Morty because it seemed like Rick had gotten what he needed and wanted from her, or it, or they, he didn't really know how to refer to the entity, but that's besides the point.

He had spent the whole night in the garage when Morty woke up for school the next morning he found his grandfather passed out at his work bench with a strange device looming over his head. Morty didn't know why but looking at it sent dread coursing through his body, he had a feeling he knew someone who could help him and his grandpa. She was... Rick's friend? (Y/n) (L/n), well honestly he didn't know what their relationship was at the moment, because a few years ago she used to visit daily but again that was years ago, he thinks they might have gotten in a fight or something. But if anyone could help him, it was her.

So he asked his mom to give him a ride to her house, but it took some convincing because what mother wouldn't question why her 14 year old son is going to a 23 year olds house by himself, like what kinda porn set up type bullshit, but after he explained his concerns for his grandpa she agreed. Once he got there he told his mom he would get a ride home and she complied and left. He rang the doorbell of the large house and waited, once the door opened he felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs.

She was absolutely gorgeous, her (S/C) skin looked so beautiful in the sun's light and her (long,short,medium) (straight,curly,wavey, kinky) (H/C) hair was beautiful. She was (Tall/short) and (Skinny,medium,thick) it made Morty wonder if her and Rick were ever more than friends at one point. What really got to him was what she was wearing, it was a matching set, a long sleeve sweater and shorts  "Morty? Hello? You alright there kid?" He snapped out of his trance and nodded "Sorry, and sorry again for showing up unannounced but i need your help."

She looked at him for a couple of seconds before sighing "Listen first come in it's weird talking outside like this, and second, if this has anything to do with Sanchez I'm sorry but i can't help you." He frowned, why did she call him Sanchez? And why did her (E/C) eyes look so sad when she said it? He came in and she led him to her living room where they sat on the couch "So what happened?" He asked her, he really thought if he knew why she suddenly stopped talking to Rick he would be able to help "Morty, i guarantee if Rick is going through something right now it hasn't got anything to do with me, we haven't talked in years."

How did she know? "How do you know that's the problem?" he asked, she giggled playfully rolling her eyes at him "Rick and i used to work together, well if you could really even call it that, it was more like working next to each other and having conversations. But we were also intimate with each other and i know the only reason you would be here without him is because there's a problem concerning him."

His eyes widened if Rick worked with her that could only mean that she was a genius too, so if they were partners and lovers in one way or another then how could she not be the problem? But then again they hadn't talked in years. She was right there was no way she could be the cause of his grandpa acting strange. With that he felt pretty much defeated, what now? He didn't know how to contact anyone else or even who to talk to, it took him almost two weeks just to find her and she lived on earth there was no way in fuck he’d be able to get in contact with anyone else without Rick.

"So what do i do now (Y/N)? I just want grandpa Rick to go back to normal, I can tell he’s faking being his old self." He sighed and dropped his head, his shoulders slumped, he resembled a kicked puppy in all honesty, they stood in silence for a while before she sighed, "Have you met Unity? Or has he talked to them recently?" she asked with an almost sour look on her face, Morty nodded "Well there you go, she probably fucked him then left again" Morty had an oo0oh moment and nodded.

"Just like all things he'll get over it, now i think it's about time i take you back home yeah?" He nodded, but now he felt kind of bad she seemed really, bothered by something . "(Y/N) have you ever liked Rick? Or you know when you used to come over a lot were you together?" He asked as they walked out the door and to her car. "Yes, we did date at the time, well what i thought was dating until he bluntly told me it was nowhere near that and i was just quote un quote, "something to do." As they got in the car Mortys mouth dropped open no wonder she just disappeared from their life like that.

"i-im sorry Rick’s a real dick sometimes" she shrugged and focused her eyes on the road, ”Listen Morty your grandpa is a lot of things, a dick especially, and when it comes to emotions, especially his own, he becomes a coward, please Morty i know you've picked up about 300 shitty casualties from him but avoid that like your life depends on it. Okay? Or at least promise to try?” Morty could tell how serious she was without even looking at her.

 The rest of the ride was silent, once she pulled into the driveway of Morty’s house she groaned seeing that the garage was open and Rick was standing in front of it. With his arms crossed, the moment his eyes landed on (Y/n) she felt her stomach drop, her hands were shaking, which Morty noticed. "Fuck me" she said under her breath, Morty got out the car but she stayed still almost frozen. "B-Bout damn time yo-ughh- you got here." Morty groaned "How did you even know I left?" Rick rolled his eyes "your mom o-obviously di-ugh-dipshit." Morty shook his head and waved goodbye to (y/n).

She waved back, she jumped when she realized Rick was now at her window motioning for her to get out she rolled her eyes before reluctantly getting out. He looked her up and down before stopping and staring at her lips, his eyes just sat there for a good minute before she cleared her throat. "Did you have something to say or did you just wanna stand here lookin’ stupid?" He scoffed before taking a swig of his flask "Y-You know yo-ughhh you never wer- seemed like one to hold a g-grudge. Thought yo-you wou-ughh would have got- been over it b-by now."

she stared at him with a blank expression before she back handed him sending him stumbling "wha-what the fuck!?" he exclaimed as he looked at her he was gonna say more till he noticed the tears streaming down her expressionless face "How long have we known each other rick?" he looked at her questionably "hey y-your ughh c--" she cut him off her voice a little louder than before "How fucking long rick?" he stood up right and looked into her watery (e/c) eyes as he held his cheek. "5 years" she nodded "and how many times in those 5 years did you introduce me to the many girls you fucked, the girls you ploughed mindlessly just to get off?”

he looked at her questionably again "none." he said simply "how many of them did you introduce to birdperson, or squanchy, or the people you know from other fuckin universes, Matter of fuckin’ fact, how many of those whores did you see walking around with different dimension ricks at the citadle?" he didn't have to think at all before saying "none" she nodded

"Rick not only, not fuckin’ only did you introduce me to squanchy, birdperson, and other Rick’s and their (y/n), when you decided you were ready to go back into Beths life you introduced me to your family, to your only daughter, to your nephew, your niece, and the dickhead that you cant fuckin’ stand for knockin you daughter up, that that in itself should be enough proof that im not just a hole off the street for you to have fun with" he stood silently still looking into her (e/c) eyes.

"And that the crazy fuckin’ thing rRick! not once did we even have sex, we never went further than sleep naked together! So for you to have looked me directly in my fucking face, and tell me that I was simply something to do didn't hurt, what hurt was the fact that you lied! You lied Rick! Straight through yo motha fuckin’ teeth! The fact that you're a genius doesn't mean shit to me when you don't even have the damn brain capacity to admit when you care about someone! You are a fuckin coward! I know you're scared to be hurt again, fine! But dont fucking pussy out and act like the shit that we had meant nothing!"

Rick was at a lost for words he didn't want to get attached to anyone since Diane and he knew that, he watched as (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes ``It hurts like a bitch to love someone so much, and to know that they love you back but won't admit it, it just makes you feel like they’re ashamed of you, like you're ashamed of me, Rick i asked for nothing when we first met." she sighed

“I told you that i just wanted to learn, you took that as if i can get the bitch to trust me enough i can eventually fuck her, yet you never even made a move Rick, your exact words were, i dont want you talking to anyone else, and i accepted that as your fucked up way of asking me out. i never once asked to label us because i already knew what we were, i thought i actually meant something to you.” The two sat in silence for a couple minutes she had hoped he would say something, and when he didn't she shook her head and got ready to get back in her car " I have to go, tell Morty to come see me whenever i guess." she turned ready to get in her car till she fell through a lime green portal. She landed in Rick's room, on his bed to be exact Rick soon came in after opening another portal and walked through.

“When normal people want to talk they usually use their words.” she said as she rolled her eyes and stoop up intending to leave, she wasn't the person she was 5 years ago, he couldn't kiss and caress his way out of this one. She was sick of him talking his way out of things his words couldn't be trusted and his actions were misleading so at this point fuck it, fuck him, fuck his hugs, his kisses, his scent, fuck the way he looked at her with longing eyes and made her weak in the knees. 

Fuck everything, enough was enough, either he wanted to be with her, or he didnt those were his options, she hadnt even realized tears were freely falling down her (S/C) cheeks, she was shaking, she had tried to pursue a relationship with at least 10 other men and it all failed, she was taping her foot fast with her arms crossed as she kept looking at the ground 

She didnt want him to see her like that the man had barely said a fuckin word and here she stood crying her eyes out, damn near hyperventilating “I’m sorry … you’re right, i am a fuckin coward and everything you said is true … fuck this is making me nauseous, all this sappy bullshit, to sum up this shit show of our relationship i love you, i am a cunt for pulling that bullshit, like you didnt mean anything to me because unfortunately you do, i gave into the pathetic chemical reaction that makes me just as human and vulnerable as the rest of our shitty race, hell i might even be a little less Rick because of this shit but if it means you wont disappear again …. It's worth it.”

She slowly approached Rick and buried her face in his chest as she cried, finally the dickhead admitted to well, being a dickhead and a liar, and a coward, and a cunt pussy shit fuck bastard, and his way of apologizing, it was.. Shitty but that's what she expected, he held her tightly kissing the top of her head inhaling her sent messaging her scalp through her (kinky,curly,thick,straight) hair

Once again they'd be sharing the night together she already knew he wasn't letting her leave so after she had stopped crying and did all the things she needed to do before she went to sleep she crawled into bed with him usually shed sleep on his chest but tonight rick insisted on sleeping on her chest probably his way of making sure she stayed there. Of course the two were butterball ass naked it was the only way she could sleep, “i love you” rick said just as she was drifting to sleep she smiled and kissed his forehead “i love you too.”  

[thechangeling]

Enough.

So a while ago I made a headcannon post about Ty's sexuality and the autistic exploration of sex and sexual desire. I have now written a fic about it. This ones for Alex @bedspells my very own Alyssa. Also side note I want to make it clear that yes, I still ship kitty 100%. But I've seen plenty of people write fics and headcannons about Kit exploring things with other people. There's no reason why Ty can't do the same.

Edit: Ok a long time ago this fic actually got a hate comment on Ao3 saying that I was erasing Ty's sexuality by having him hook up with a girl because he was cannonly gay due to a tweet CC made in 2013. Now I don't even have twitter and I wasn't a part of the fandom back then. Despite all of that I actually don't really consider that to be the basis of canon? And in the books he doesn't really express interest in anyone except for Kit. So as far as I'm concerned this was fair game. Not to mention gay people sometimes experiment before they realize they're gay. Especially autistic people!! And that was actually kind of the point of this fic. So maybe just keep that in mind going forward. Thanks!

Tw for mentions and discussions of sex.

Ty could count the instances he hadn't been bothered by another person's touch on one hand. This was certainly one of them. It was so late into the night it could certainly be considered the next morning. Anush, Ty and Alyssa had been doing research on Livvy and the effect she seemed to be having on a serge of demonic activity in the area.

Ty was fairly stressed about the possibility to say the least. It felt like everything was spilling away from him. Livvy, his family, his career.

Kit.

He really didn't want to think about Kit but it was difficult. It was like trying to ignore a bleeding wound that everyone kept referring to as a paper cut.

The shining lights in all of this were Anush and Alyssa. Befriending both of them had been the best part of coming to the scholomance.

Especially Alyssa.

Meeting someone who shared some of his thoughts, feelings and experiences was more then refreshing. It was liberating. Talking, laughing and crying with Alyssa about the things that no one else would understand was like a balm for Ty's soul.

At a certain point Anush had announced that he was retiring to bed and they should both probably do the same. Livvy was still floating around the room observing their work. But as time went on Ty had stopped paying as much attention to her. Now he was resting against Alyssa with his head in her lap. She was sitting on the couch in the library, carefully running her fingers through his hair and rambling on about something, Ty wasn't exactly sure what.

Ty reached up to wrap a lock of her long dark hair around his finger, then watched it spring back into place again. Alyssa's hair was wavy but not curly like- like some peoples. So it didn't spring and bounce very well. That was the interesting thing about Ali in general. So many parts of her dress and appearance were so neat and polished and well put together that Ty almost wondered what it would be like to see her more disheveled. What would it be like to grab and twist and pull until she was left with something that wasn't glossy perfect waves.

Ty panicked a little at that thought. Where exactly had that come from? He was now more then ever painfully aware of the fact that he was lying in an attractive person's lap. And his sister was still in the same room.

Ty looked up to search for Livvy but realized that she was gone. Guiltily he realized she could have been gone for awhile now. But he hadn't noticed. Lately he had been feeling further and further away from his twin and he hated it.

"Do you think stars have feelings?" Alyssa asked wistfully. Ty laughed joyfully, feeling so light and and so far away from every bad thing that had happened three years ago.

"Because I was just thinking," she continued. "Like, what if they're lonley you know?" Ty had to smile at the Alyssa charm of it all. Also the autistic perspective might have had something to do with it.

"I don't know," Ty said, sitting up. "Maybe they're like us. Maybe they like being alone." Alyssa pondered this for awhile.

"Well no one can be alone forever," she pointed out, then laughed, rolling her eyes. "God how did we get here? Remember when we were supposed to be doing actual work Ty?"

"Well we were stupid to think that would last," Ty announced matter of factly. Alyssa shrugged and leaned back against the sofa.

"Probably. Once the neurotypical left it was all downhill from there."

"I disagree, Ty said softly, meeting her gaze. "I enjoy spending time with you." Alyssa instantly smiled, the kind of beautiful, honest, heartfelt smile that allistic people wrote poetry about.

Instantly Ty was reminded of someone else, another brilliant smile.

He shook it off.

"Me too," Alyssa finally answered. Then she shook her head. "Ugh feelings. Gross."

Ty rolled his eyes at her and laughed.

Then Alyssa sat up again as she seemed to remember something. "Oh yeah I meant to ask you about Anush. Do you like him?"

Ty shrugged. "Yeah he's really nice. He's become a good friend."

Alyssa shook her head. "No, no Ty, I mean-" She paused. "I mean do you like him like you wanna date him? Or do you have romantic feelings for him?" She asked.

Ty paused. He honestly wasn't sure. He had been trying to avoid thoughts of those types of feelings for a very specific reason. A Herondale reason. But the truth was he did like really like Anush. He enjoyed being around him. Ty just wasn't sure what that meant.

"I'm not sure," he answered honestly. "Maybe." Alyssa fiddled with her hair, rubbing it between her fingers.

"Hmm. Well do you even like boys?" She asked. "I just realised I've known you for five months now and I dont really know what your deal is," she said contemplating. "Like sexual orientation wise. I mean not that it matters, it totally doesn't," she stammered.

Ty shrugged. "It was never really relevant before. But I'm not really sure. I guess I'm fine with whatever." Alyssa beamed.

"So I guess that means you're kinda like me huh? She said happily. "I'm pansexual. Women are so beautiful and angelic and soft and squishy and awesome, but men can be good too," she mused. "I mean men are......men, but some of them aren't so bad. I mean look at you!" Alyssa tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Thanks," Ty responded dryly.

"Anyways you know what I mean," Alyssa waved her hand. "So are you attracted to him at least?" Ty sighed.

"Yeah I am," he admitted. "But I don't- I don't want a relationship Ali. I just can't."

Alyssa studied him for a moment. "Does this have anything to do with the Herondale pendent you wear that you always tell me never to ask questions about?"

Ty scowled. "Yes, but I don't want to talk about it." Alyssa rolled her eyes and put her hands up in surrender.

"Fucking shit fuck! Fine!" She complained. "Anyways, my point is you dont need to date him neccesarily. Just have sex with him and see how you feel?"

Ty sat up and faced her. "What?"

Alyssa laughed. "You heard me. There's nothing wrong with causal sex between consenting adults. I mean, if you want to."

Ty felt the urge to stand up to try and aliviate some of the anxiety he was feeling, but he stayed sitting.

"I've never done it before," he admitted. Ty was 19, he knew most of the people his age had already had some sort of sexual experience. But he had always been too afraid. Too afraid of people touching him and demanding things from him with harsh vague bullshit. In Ty's mind it was just another social interaction that he could screw up and then pay the price for it.

Alyssa shrugged. "It's no big deal. Virginity is just a social construct anyways." Alyssa was playing with her hair casually and biting her lip slightly, to indicate that she was mulling something over.

Ty shook his head trying to explain it. "No, it's- I mean see, you say that, but, one of the things I've learned about this world is that social constructs kind of matter to a lot of people." Ty was taping his fingers against his leg and trying to stop himself from shaking. Alyssa noticed this.

"Because people tell you that's it's no big deal and not to worry, and then other people make it into a big deal like it means something, and then everyone's telling you to do something different," Ty explained with a panicked, rushed voice. "I don't know who you listen to, or what to do!" He was moving his hands frantically while he spoke to emphasize his points.

"Hey it's ok," she cooed, inching towards him. "Trust yourself. Or if you feel like you can't, then trust me." Ty felt a pang in his chest. A cacophony of conflicting emotions erupted within him. But mostly he found that despite his better judgement he actually believed her.

They had created something different between the two of them. Something that almost transcended labels or rules or traditional allistic boundaries. Alyssa was like the armor he put on every morning, with the strength and confidence that he wasn't alone in this world. In the midst of all of their jokes and late night heartbreaking conversations. In the midst of this fragile peace they had created, there was something there. Something indescribable.

Something like the sound of the page being turned in one of his Sherlock novels, or the sound of their favourite songs. A connection. A lifeline.

Ty looked over at Alyssa's concerned face and smiled softly. "I trust you," he promised. "I don't really trust many people, but I've always trusted you," he admitted. Alyssa inhaled sharply. She made an interesting facial expression that might have been a facial stim and then gaped for awhile before finally closing her mouth and avoiding Ty's gaze.

"Yeah that's cool. I trust you too," she said casually. She had gone back to pulling at her poor hair which was shedding everywhere. Anush always joked that he could always tell where Alyssa was by following the trail of hair.

"So, about the whole sex thing," she continued rather unceremoniously. Ty had to laugh a little. "Do you think it's something you're actually interested in? Or do you just feel like you have to?" She asked.

Ty pondered this for a moment. "I think I might want to. I just want to be with someone that I trust. Someone who will be considerate of my boundries, you know?" Ty did a quick glance around the room to make sure Livvy was still gone.

"Wait she's not here right?" Alyssa asked anxiously, catching on. Ty shook his head.

Alyssa paused for a moment, looking lost in thought. She was flicking her fingernails against each other and continuing to murder her bottom lip by chewing on it. Finally she looked up at him, looking rather amused.

"Ok. This might just be the exhaustion talking, or the autism, or a combination of both. So if you feel uncomfortable with what I'm about to say, then afterwards we can just forget it ok?" Alyssa sounded serious. Ty just nodded, trying not to be concerned.

Alyssa gave him an interesting look, one that he was pretty sure he had never recieved before. Her eyes scanned him up and down, then she smirked.

"I could potentially offer my services," she said innocently. Ty blinked a few times, then continued to stare at her. She stared back unflinching.

Wait. What?

Ty shook his head in confusion. "Hold on. Wait. You mean-?" He cut himself off. Alyssa nodded with that same smirk. "Yeah I mean why not right?" She shrugged, relaxing back against the sofa. "But if you dont want to then that's totally fine."

"Wait." Ty attempted to clear his head and stay focused. He stayed frozen for awhile, thinking. Then he folded his arms around himself, applying pressure. "Why exactly?"

Alyssa shrugged again. "Well why not? You're hot. I'm hot, and besides you know me," she pointed out. She paused, and then giggled.

"Four hours into investigating the paranormal phenomenon of his dead twin sister and chill, then she offers to take his virginity," she cackled. "I so enjoy our quality time together."

"The way your mind works really concerns me sometimes, you know that?" He asked playfully. Alyssa rolled her eyes at him and shoved him gently.

"Hey you don't have to, it was just an idea," she said, raising her hands in defense. Ty was silent. He was still thinking about it.

"Most people don't really do stuff like this right?" He asked warily. "Like most friends don't just randomly hook up and then laugh it off later."

Alyssa shook her head slowly. "Honey do you see me laughing?"

Ty was conflicted. There was something in him, a new, complicated feeling. A burning desire that nagged at the back of his mind everytime Alyssa bit her lip or pouted.

If he was really honest with himself. Ty could remember another time when he felt this way. But that was different, that was-.

He shook his head. No. Ty wasn't thinking about that anymore. He needed a distraction.

"God I can practically hear you thinking over here Ty," Alyssa teased. "Listen. If it freaks you out to much then we can forget about it. But-." She paused and reached towards him. Their fingertips met and she slowly dragged her fingertips down the top of Ty's hand.

"I want to do this for you because I care about you," she said solemnly. "I want make you feel good. Because you're special, and I dont mean that in the bullshit ableist way. I mean I think that you're special because you have such a big heart and you care so much," she said with a laugh.

Ty felt like he was about to cry. He was taking in long deep breaths trying not to get overwhelmed. He didnt know how to respond to this, this kind of attention and praise. His heart felt warm and tight absorbed in so much fondness and melancholy and regret all at once.

He knew this wasn't anything like what had happened that day on the beach. This wasn't that kind of love that he was feeling for Alyssa and that was a good thing. Romantic love, he decided, was too complicated.

"You deserve good things and good experiences. You deserve to have your first time be somewhere familiar. Somewhere you feel safe, and with someone who loves you." Alyssa wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

"God sorry for getting all emotional like that," she joked.

Ty couldn't speak, so he just squeezed her hand. He hoped she would understand.

I love you too.

Ty took a breath, then nodded. "Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah I want that. I want you."

Alyssa exhaled, then grinned. "Ok then. Great. I'll see if I can pencil you in sometime this week," she joked. Ty cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Oh," he murmered, suprised with how disappointed he felt. "You mean later?" Alyssa laughed.

"Well yeah, I mean aren't you tired?"

"Are you?" Ty countered.

Alyssa shrugged. "Hey you know how it is, autistic sleep cycle. I'm gonna be up for awhile. I just figured you might want some time to think."

Ty shook his head. "No I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired of thinking Ali. I'm tired of worrying and overanalyzing everything." His eyes met hers, she seemed a little worried.

She moved closer to him so that she was practically in his lap. "You need a distraction," she said matter of factly. "It's ok." She moved her hands from his arms to grasp his waist.

"Is this good?"

Ty flinched. "More pressure," he replied in a tone that was hopefully not too demanding. Alyssa pressed her fingertips down harder into his skin. A soothing feeling washed over him.

"Good?" She asked, scratching his skin with her fingernails. Ty just nodded, feeling slightly dazed.

Alyssa smiled, lowering herself gracefully into his lap. Everything she did was with precision and grace. Alyssa was a dancer. It was one of her special interests. She had stopped taking lessons a long time ago though because she found it challenging to dance in a group.

She could never copy what everyone else was doing exactly on count when she was supposed to. She was always going off and improvising on her own. There was probably a metaphor in there somewhere.

Alyssa's weight against him was comforting. She was moving her hands up and down his back underneath his shirt while still applying pressure. Ty felt heat beginning to pool in the base of his stomach. He stared at her curiously, taking in her soft curves and her smooth golden skin.

"Can I touch you?" Ty asked, feeling his fingers twitch.

Alyssa moved her hands to his chest. "Sure." She said softly. "Just be careful. Remember pressure and all of that, and try to avoid my stomach area. For some reason it's really sensitive." Ty nodded, instantly reaching for her long wavy dark hair and twisting his fingers around it, pulling slightly. She laughed.

This drew Ty's attention to her mouth. Her lips were cracked and rough looking from Alyssa constantly biting them, but Ty still wanted to kiss her. He had never kissed anyone before. He needed to know what it felt like.

He moved his hands to her shoulders and then to her sides, pulling Alyssa even closer. "Can you teach me how to kiss?" He asked looking her in the eye briefly. She snorted.

"I don't think you'll like it very much," she murmered. "It's not really a good sensory experience. At least not for me. Allistic people seem to like it though."

Ty nodded. "Exactly that's my point," he said, using one hand to cradle the side of her neck. "I need to learn for other people later on." He absentmindedly pressed his thumb into one of the divots in her neck, just to fill the space. Alyssa sighed and dug her fingernails into his chest.

"Ok fine but you're gonna hate the tounge thing," she breathed. She leaned down very slowly and then carefully pressed her lips to Ty's, kissing him softly.

It was a weird sensation but not entirely unpleasant. Ty happily slid his hands back into her hair and began to fiddle with a few thick pieces. Alyssa moved her own hands up his chest to cradle her face, applying pressure with thumbs against his cheekbones.

Alyssa deepened the kiss and slid her tounge into his mouth. Instantly Ty winced and felt every cell in his body seize up. But he didn't stop. He was determined to figure this out. If he wanted to kiss someone who wasn't autistic in the future then he would need to. Ty relaxed his body and kissed her back forcefully, making out with Alyssa until the uncomfortable noise in his head was too much and he broke the kiss.

Ty shook his head and Ali laughed, stroking his hair. "I fucking told you so," she exclaimed. Ty shut his eyes and allowed his breathing to return to normal.

"Ok so that's something we can forget about for now, thank god. The beauty of this whole situation is that we dont have to follow any allistic script for this sort of thing." Ty opened his eyes. Alyssa was watching him carefully, still only centimeters away from his face.

"So is there anything you want to do?" She asked him. "Just tell me and I'll see if we can make it happen."

Ty saw no need to maintain any sort of filter. "Well there are a lot of things actually, but for some reason I really want to bite you," he said pointedly, glancing down at her neck. Alyssa burst out laughing, nearly falling over.

Ty glared at her. "I'm sorry," she gasped breathlessly. "I'm sorry it's just,-," she regained her composure, shaking her head. "I just love how we all used to be the weird kids who growled and hissed at people on the playground if they bothered us and now as adults we're just super kinky. Like it's kind of poetic in a way," she laughed.

Ty rolled his eyes. There was no need to ask what she meant by we. When Alyssa said we, it only referred to one thing.

"I'm sure it's not absolutely every autistic person," he protested. "Also we should move, on account of the fact that this is still a public setting." Alysza's eyes widened as if she had just remembered that.

"Oh right. Shit, as if these people needed any more reasons to hate me. Let's go!" She rolled off of Ty and stood in front if him, holding out her hand. "We can use my room." Ty stayed sitting, taking a moment to fully absorb it all.

He couldn't help but feel the weight of the Herondale pendent against his chest as a heavy reminder. He willed himself not to get distracted. Alyssa smiled at him slightly, almost as if she knew.

"Enough," she said softly.

Ty didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if their was anything he wanted say. Then finally he understood.

"Enough," he echoed back.

He took her outstretched hand and let her take him away.

@ti-bae-rius @eutony-in-whisper @dianasarrow @dianasarrow @stxr-thxif @talia-lightwood @doitforthecarstairs @thelandunderthehilll @zfoxdraws @waterlillies

[drugrattes-blog]

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tagged by: @overoutrage ( yells thank u ) tagging: steal it if u want we can be thieves ... together...​

GENERAL

name:  vera birthday:  16 / 06 sexual orientation: hetero p much ye ye school status: third year of highschool ( idk how it is in english lmao ... )

YES/NO

drink?:  i taste n’ try smoke?:  nope eat cake?:  when i can, yes! believe in true love?:  frankly i’ve never had any kind of experience and i’m still sixteen so? i don’t know? i’m not even rushy about it lmao, i just wanna have a super chill relationship when it comes, if it comes soon enough. so my answer is shrug emoji afraid of the dark?:  not really cat person?:  i love ducks fuck me on a fridge ( yes i love cats & i have one too ) virgin?:  yepperoni

FAVORITES

shampoo: anything cheap for curly hair disney song: friends on the other side - princess & the frog / hellfire - the hunchback of notredame !! actress/actor: jake gyllenhaal, edward norton, emma stone and um... idk !! car: i dont care about cars enough person:  ahh eh... irl people? i dont have favourites ( im sorry im not good at socializing ) but i quite like my friend sofia, my two friends rebecca’s ( they’re named both rebecca yes ) and most of my female classmates, along with diego i think, and my mom’s boyfriend type of weather: i hate all weathers. all of them. but i like slightly chilly weather color: salmon pink -- tho i love all colors 90s sitcom:  i never watched any... :’)

QUESTIONS

what is your special talent/skill as a roleplayer?   do i even have any tbh. i just write whatever flows to me? i try to both be active, as in i try to write and make sure my muse does something ( unless the thread’s based heavily on thoughts / speech / psychological stuff ) , all while still trying to make sure their emotions and thoughts show. im not sure if im good at achieving that but well, i have fun writing, and i like what i write, so it’s okay, i think?

what is your favorite type of roleplay genre, and why?    fluff... cute shit... romantic ... friendships... but also DEVELOPMENT! i also have a soft spot for gore-heavy themes ( physical stuff more than the psychological sutff, tho i’d like to explore that maybe? sometime? maybe by drabbling for myself smth ) , and i like making my muses grow, even if subtly. i also live for threads that involve arguing that leads to somewhere, even arguing that leads nowhere, tho, if that makes sense. AND FUNNY COMEDIC SHIT, I LIVE FOR THAT, I LOVE WRITING FUNNY THINGS!! all while hoping its not fun just for me ofc lmao

why did you pick your muse?    oh man, joan was just a side-character to another muse? franziska? but then i thought, hey, what about i try to rp this jackass, and whoops. there she is, miss america. i’m debating wether or not trying to give her some sort of story or just keep her as a ‘mascot’, i don’t know, but she’s being put so much effort in it feels almost like...  voidly to me to just do nothing else with her. she’s just so fun to write and draw.

if you could write any other muse - but know you don’t have the muse for him/her - who would it be?    a lot. a lot of my ocs. my dr ocs, my psg ocs, my indie ocs, the trash sisters convict & trash star along with the clumsy dj double, sandra, mr. zoe!! and tracy and all of my muses from my own canon! and lilith and wolfie aahh even if lilith and wolfie are quite nsfw due to the fact they’re prostitutes so-- i mean, in short, i’d write a LOT of muses, if i could. i have a lot of ocs.

what is one thing you think you need to work on as a partner?    heck im terrible at convos? like i’m shit bc i tend to drop them at some point, if i dont feel like replying... or just dont know HOW to reply. plus i drop silently threads, im a bit guilty abt that, even tho i think it’s necessary for me to decrease stress sometimes. i mean its not a bad thing but?? im too anxious to go up and say ‘hey wanna do another thread bc im dropping x this one’ just ? HECK

what would be your warning label to other roleplayers?   im a fluff monster and i fucking love ducks oh my god

what is your favorite episode/scene of your muse?    oh man. oh man. i dont have it... yet. i mean, there is one, but it has yet to happen. i’m plannin’ it tho. also tbh, joan’s relationship with drugs is in general... my fav thing. like it may seem such a filmsy reason to others as to why she does drugs, but for me? i think it’s essential. i’ve watched movies and read stories about drug addicts that got into it the way a kid usually gets into cigarettes -- either to be part of the group or either because they needed some relief, a detachment from reality, and like... it’s always been interesting to me. i’ve never did this kinda stuff, heck, ofc i don’t plan to out of my simple choice ( cigarettes mostly, drugs r srs danger wtf ) , but i’m trying my best to interpret this mindset of joan. plus the fact she’s been actually influenced by her own interests to do so, to be like others in order to stick around others, is interesting in itself. along with joan and her parents’ relationship, and their subtle pressure they put on her, unknowingly. it’s just. whoa. fucking hell.

what crack!ships do you have for your muse?   joan and rehab, joan and mac and cheese, joan and an healthy ring of friends, joan... joan and cats as a hateship.

what is your senpai blog?   none! i consider everyone equals to me wtf.