#(and also in present tense lmao. i never do my actual writing in present tense. it doesn't vibe the same somehow.)

[a-most-beloved-fool]

Bashir falls asleep in front of Garak, and Garak, still strikingly unused to intimacy in any form, has... rather a lot of feelings about it. Sentiment. He knew already that he was far past the point of no return, as far as sentiment went, but it still surprises him, sometimes, to see just how much the contagion affects him.

In this case, it takes the form of paralysis. He sits there, heart in his throat, just watching Bashir, hardly able to move for fear of disturbing him, of waking him and breaking the illusion - or worse, waking himself, and discovering that it was all some wretched hallucination, yet another sign of his weakness, because surely it can't be real.

How could it? what do you mean this soft Starfleet doctor trusts him that much? Doesn't Bashir know he's a spy? He's killed people! More of them than he can count! And Bashir is snoozing away, seemingly unaware that he could be murdered. His head is tilted back against the couch, and that long, oh-so-fragile human throat is exposed, utterly defenseless - Garak wouldn't even have to try to slice through his neck. The skin would split as easy as a flower petal. He wouldn't even need a knife, though he certainly has one on him, with how thin human skin is! His claws or teeth would do the job just fine.

And Bashir doesn't even care! He's just... sitting there, sleeping. As though Garak is safe. Which surely he can't actually believe. It's simply beyond the realm of possibility.

Which means, certainly, that it isn't real. It can't be.

Still, Garak can't bring himself to stand. If it is only a dream, then it hardly hurts to indulge in it, just a little. To entertain the illusion that Doctor Bashir could feel secure with him, someday. So, he sits and he watches, tracing each motion of the Doctor's chest with his eyes, and he expects that at any moment he will wake up.

He doesn't, though. He stays seated, watching Bashir, and with every moment that passes it feels a little more real, and simultaneously a little more impossible.

Just under an hour later, when Bashir finally jolts awake, hair ruffled and gaze soft, Garak is still there, hardly moved an inch. Maybe Bashir notices that his position didn't change, maybe he doesn't, but either way, he smiles sheepishly at Garak, and apologizes for falling asleep on him.

Garak stands, feeling more in a dream then ever before, and assures Bashir that of course he needn't worry. It was no inconvenience. Then Bashir looks at the time, and apologizes again, this time for needing to leave so soon after waking up. He darts for the door, but not before reaching out and placing a hand on Garak's shoulder, beaming.

And Garak, now alone, can't help but stare after him, almost dizzy with emotions that he can't parse as his shoulder burns with the lingering imprint of Bashir's touch.

[spooky-bunnys]

haiii!! i love your writing so much. And this is my first time requesting ♡ hear me out but the thought of baji having a tall af omega male reader and having toman meet him for the first time?!!! imagine their faces HAHAHAAHHA they would be so flabbergasted seeing thee male reader who is really shy and he was so scared to meet the gang, he tried his best to hide behind baji he's gonna look like a golden retriever hiding behind a poodle fr— at first the gang was kinda skeptical and tried questioning male reader lots of stuff thinking that he was also an alpha THEN BAJI SIGHS AND EXPLAINS THAT HIS MATE IS AN OMEGA HES JUST VV TALL AND CUTE and then and then male reader shyly presents the gang his baked cookies and as the gang immediately kicks off baji like "this cookie is heavenly come get this dummy out of here and marry him rn and adopt us please."

I had to keep rewriting this cause I kept going off track lmao. Enjoy!

When Baji told Toman, he had a surprise, many were hesitant. Sentences with Baji and surprise together was never good. But it wasn't until they had asked Chifuyu, if he knew what the surprise was.

"Eh! Baji is bringing his Omega!" Nobody could believe it. Baji met his Omega? How did he even meet the Omega? Wait-why was Baji the first one to get an Omega?

Toman by now we're arguing over whether or not, Baji was telling the truth about actually having an Omega. Nobody was believing it. Baji the guy who fights almost everyone he meets. He has an Omega? Yeah, sure.

It wasn't too much longer, when they heard Baji's bike. Now, when Toman saw who was on the back of Baji's bike. There was one thing, everyone thought. "There's no way that's an Omega."

On the bike was Tomans first division captain, and a really tall fucking dude. Like this guy was taller then Draken kinda tall. Even if he looked soft and sweet after taking off the helmet he was made to wear. He still didn't look like an Omega.

With Baji though, things were tough. "Come on (Name)! It's time you meet the gang!" (Name) just nervously looked around and shook his head. "A-Alpha I c-changed my mind. I-I can't do this!" The poor Omega was practically trembling.

He could not only feel the judging eyes, but the scents were so strong! It was like they were pumping out their pheromones, on purpose! It was hurting his nose. Baji just gave (Name) a small smile and softly grabbed his hand. "Alpha is here for you."

(Name) felt his heart swell. His Alpha was amazing in so many ways. (Name) gave Baji's hand a squeeze. "O-Okay Alpha." Baji grinned widely and helped the Omega off he bike.

When (Name) got a look at the Toman members, he felt like he couldn't breathe. They were glaring, and looking him up and down. The Alpha with the cold dark eyes started talking first. "Baji, who is that?"

Baji puffed his chest out in pride. "This is my Omega (Name)!" Baji tried showing (Name) off, but the Omega immediately hid behind his Alpha. As Baji tried to coax (Name) out others watched.

"Does anyone else see a two dogs instead of Baji and (Name)?" Many hums were heard. Then there was a snort. "A poodle for Baji cause of his long curly hair, and a golden retriever for the other one because he's trying and failing to hide behind him."

Draken smacked the back of Mikey's head. "Ow! Ken-chin!" Everyone just rolled their eyes and ignored the arguing commanders. They were more interested in this "Omega".

Baji had finally gotten (Name) out from behind him, but before (Name) could even say anything. The interrogation began. Many asked him how they met, or what his sent was. But the one that broke his heart. The one that made him freeze up.

"Are you actually an Omega and not an Alpha?" (Name) flinched and Baji tensed. He looked and saw a male, with beautiful long light hair and a black mask. That made everyone go quiet. They all stared at him. Waiting for him to answer.

(Name) replied with a soft yes and looked away. He sweet (scent) then turned sour. Startling many surrounding them, but not Baji. Oh no. He was pissed. "Sanzu! How dare you ask him that!"

Baji marched forward to grab the masked male, but he felt a tug on the back of his shirt. It was (Name) signaling him to just leave it. Baji growled glaring hatefully at Sanzu. "He may be tall! But he's still my sweet, and adorable Omega!"

The others were quiet. Until (Name) softly spoke up. "I-I um." He played with Baji's hand and pulled his bag off his back. "S-Snacks?" He held the bag up slightly. Baji shook his head and grumbled.

Mikey snatched the bag from (Name), and quickly opened it. (Name) jumped slightly not expecting that reaction. Baji and Draken had practically barked at the sorter male. "Oi Mikey! It's not polite to snatch stuff!"

"Eh? But he said there was snacks! I'm hungry Ken-chin." Mikey pulled out a container containing multiple treats. Including-"DORAYUKI!" Mikey immediately stuffed one in his mouth and went for another one.

Baji quickly snatched the container back and growled. "They're for everyone nt just you! He worked very hard on these." Baji held out the container for the others. "My Omega worked hard to make these for you guys. Be grateful."

Everyone took one bite then froze. These were so fucking good! (Name) smiled brightly seeing everyone enjoy the treats. Baji puffed out his chest. Proud that his Omega was a good cook.

That was until Baji was practically thrown away from his Omega. Toman surrounding the taller male. (Name) jumped and started freaking out. "Oi! (Name)-chin! Hurry up and marry Baji so you can adopt us!" (Name) paled and started stuttering badly.

Trying to politely escape the crowd. Baji having enough and seeing his Omega panicking practically fought the crowd and stood his ground in front of him. "OI! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HIM HAVE A PANIC ATTACK! IF YOU DO I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

He then pulled (Name) down and quickly covered his face in kisses. Scenting him while glaring at the others, who slowly back up. Knowing if they were too close, Baji would actually kill them.

After (Name) calmed down, he finally turned back to Toman and slightly bowed. "I-I'm sorry but w-we're not getting m-married just yet." The Toman members grumbled. Then Baji smirked. "We might next year." (Name) blushed and lightly smack the Alpha's shoulder.

[abbyslev]

𝑩𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑺- 𝑱𝑱𝑲

A/N: HEY BABIES i’ve been working on this lmao i’m currently in my jjk obsession era i fear 😋 I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THIS HAHA I HAD SM FUN WRITING IT!! ESP GOJOS LMAOO lmk if you guys want PARENT GOJO HCS BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY CUTE IDEAS LMAOO

WARNINGS: not proofread i fear 💔

yuuji bsfs hcs here!

YUUTA

prepare yourself 

he’s very shy at first, never had friends really so when he saw how cool you were he was very shy to talk to you

ofc you initiated conversation !! 

he noticed how maki was very close to you, yet you were less tense and way nicer 

you showed him around and he noticed everyone knew you which kind of intimidated him 

he started opening up about his interest and you two traded numbers after a while 

after a month or so you two started hanging outside of class and training 

late night dinners!! 

you randomly buy each other stuff from the convenience store !! 

gojo started sending him on missions with you and you had so much patience with him

you were very sweet and walked him through everything 

of course in the middle of a battle he’d stay and watch over you, yet watching intently to make sure nothing went wrong 

late night calls 

always always always helping him study!! 

you could tell maki was holding back a crush and yuuta DEFINITELY had a crush on her 

you were trying to get them to date 

he holds your bags when you guys shop!! 

training together, he asks you don’t hold back on him 

sharing food. you put on his plate whatever you don’t like and he will gladly eat it up!! 

you like to mess with his hair a lot, especially since it’s already pretty ruffled 

once he opened up to you completely, you know when he’s upset 

you know how to comfort him best 

showing up at his door with takeout late at night (you had to beg gojo to get it for you) 

staying in his dorm while y’all eat and play street fighter 

you teach him more about your power and your energy, to which he looks more into !! 

takes interest in your interest, you do the same !!

matching outfits on non-school days on accident

panda laughs at you both btw 

you guys are inseparable basically, if one’s not there, neither will the other!! 

MEGUMI

a lot of people think megumi is this cold, hard kid with no emotion 

WRONG 

you grew up with him, basically being raised by gojo too

he took a liking more to you than gojo i fear 

as kids, you two would fall asleep against each other while his divine dogs protected you both 

gojo ofc had to have a photoshoot 

megumi genuinely respects you as a sorcerer, seeing the endless nights you’d spend in your room training 

he claims he uses full force on you when you two train, but he’s obviously lying 

meg can be a picky eater sometimes, so he puts it on your plate 

he appreciates when you slide your soup to him without a word though 

he likes his space, and he greatly appreciates that you know that!! 

sometimes he wants to sit with you in silence, and sometimes he wants to be alone, and somehow you can read his mood perfectly 

he will tease you sometimes when you guys are alone

if you’re sitting on his bedroom floor, he will ruffle your hair or even crack some jokes 

he actually does play some video games, whichever ones you get him as presents 

he’s not on his phone much, but he does text you back fairly quickly 

doesn’t like you going on missions alone, and if you do, he may send a divine dog with you sometimes 

genuinely doesn’t understand how you can stand gojo sometimes 

which by the way, he uses to make you two match as kids 

gojo literally tried to put meg in a dress and got kicked in the face 

how do you get kicked by a seven year old? don’t ask 

very very supportive, but also very honest 

you call him before you go on dates and ask his opinions on your outfits 

“isn’t that a bit much skin? what if she’s like…i don’t know…not into that? Is that how it works?” poor him he doesn’t know 

if he finds a cute girl and he tells you about it, YOU WILL TALK TO HER ABOUT HIM 

he gets all shyyyyy 

meg still gets shy telling you things 

pretty much trusts you though

“lemme see em hehehe” as he gets his divine dogs out for you so you can play fetch w them :((

his doggies also comfort you a lot so since he’s not very emotionally available he’ll let you vent while petting the dogs

only lets you call him megs. one time panda tried it and got the death stare from megumi 

“why can only they call you megs” “cause i’m his favorite :D”

doesn’t let anyone be mean to you, HE WON'T BE ACCEPTING THAT BEHAVIOR 

pls take care of bb megs HES THE BEST OK 

TOGE

it was kind of a rough start

you didn’t understand his cursed speech and you definitely got stressed with “bonito flakes” and “kelp” 

you would ask him things but you couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t reply 

shorty after you met panda and maki and they explained 

which right after, that night you bought a notebook so you could communicate 

toge thought this was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for him 

you guys ended up trading numbers and stayed up LATE sending each other videos and gushing about video games 

toge actually is pretty interesting, he hates not being able to talk about stuff with you

you finally got around to understanding his language !! 

that made everything much easier 

one time you were cold and he wrapped his scarf around you </33

don’t let his lack of speaking abilities fool you, this man WILL BE YOUR WINGMAN

you see a cute girl across the street, he’s chasing them down 

you two are an unbeatable duo, which is why you complete harder missions together 

training is ok, he can’t really use his voice so it’s just you two wrestling 

on missions you keep throat medicine on you for him

you help him study a lot, he’s actually very smart 

study sessions usually end up with you two on his bed, junk food everywhere and controllers in your hands,  hushed arguments between the two

you usually buy his lunch and bring it to him, but if y’all are out together, he pays for everything like the gentleman he is 

your biggest supporter!! if you fail at a move or can’t perfect something, he text you words of encouragement 

pls protect toge he deserves the world 

GOJO

dear god hold on 

how you survived high school gojo is beyond anyone’s comprehension 

you basically rasied meg too 

he’s tall… HE WILL USE THAT TO HIS ADVANTAGE 

hiding things from you all the time

if you are texting your situationship or something gojo WILL take your phone and read everything outloud 

if you fall on your ass or something embarrassing happens, instead of helping you he will record to humiliate you in front of his kids 

which btw they are your kids too !!

esp megs, you raised him and (though he’ll never admit it) he sees you as a mom

you submit to nobara’s shopping addiction i fear 

you’ll be in the middle of a lesson and HERE COMES GOJO BARGING IN 

the students stare at him in fear as he lift up one side of his blindfold to show you a funny video he found 

also don’t worry about having to pay for anything, he’s got it covered 

you try and deny him but he’s like “we all know you need it” annoying ass 

you also swear to never take him to family gatherings again 

but you do every single time 

the one time you took him your cousins fawned over him and your aunties asked if that was your husband and you had to explain he was your best friend 

gojo waved at your cousins and even fucking posed ???? 

you yelled at him on the way home but all he did was smile 

you used to tuck in megumi in bed and gojo would be like “don’t let the curses bite” and you would stare him down

gojo sends you on wild missions, yet still makes sure they’re safe enough for you 

he takes a liking to yuuji, meg, and nobara so he sends you to watch over them 

he knows your parental instincts are STRONG so he knows you will protect the kids with your life

one time megumi was being very open and honest with you about a problem and gojo interrupted you guys 

megumi never talked about his emotions again i fear 

if you ever get seriously injured he will joke around and take you to Shoko, but he’s really worried and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you

keeps you out of his battles, and will even fight yours

see a girl you like? he’s on his way to let her know and maybe even get her number for you! 

will literally bring you food at two in the morning 

it's just who he is 

knows he seriously fucked up when you pull his hair, lift his blindfold up and see your face like “>:(”

you usually call him saturo so when you say “gojo SATURO!” he knows he fucked up

he loves his kids…yet he leaves them with you and now you have to deal with their bickering 

on your off days he loves to take you to shopping and out to eat! it’s his favorite

“max out my card” as an apology but all you want is a real explanation to why he blew up your room and why his kids were laughing 

you flick his forehead a lot 

you and utahime gang up on him a lot i fear 

though she’s very serious and you just like to tag along 

he buys you cool little trinkets 

“what’s this?” “a special something” and its literally just a snow globe 

not very emotionally available either so he just jokes around and tries his best to help you 

you understand he can get upset and refuse to show it, so you just sit beside him and draw shapes on his knees until he says something 

his phone is full of you throwing fits and angry photos 

occasionally cute ones of you guys together 

he sends you thousands of photos of either him, scenery, his kids or strangers 

you do the same obviously 

one time you and shoko hung out and sent gojo a pic and he screenshotted shokos smeared lipstick and sent it with a “??”

you post him on your insta and all ur friends slide up asking for his @ 

yes his ego gets bigger 

your favorite thing to do is grab the back of his head and yank off his blindfold and curse at him 

use to shove megumi in your arms and scream into his hands 

“HE WONT EAT THE FUCKING VEGGIES PLEASE JUST HELP”

megumi gladly ate the veggies you fed him 

rivalry fr

“EW PUT SHOES ON” as he wiggles his bare feet in your face

will teleport to your room randomly 

you also steal his glasses randomly 

he KNOWSSSS when theres a woman in room

will start spam texting you for details 

he is part of the sassy man apocalypse i fear 

you and shoko shoo him away for some “girl time” and he goes “i AM one of the girls” with a little sassy eye roll

i could write about this man forever LMAOO

fav

NANAMI

its not a spoken title but trust everyone knows your nanamis best friend 

i mean why else would he allow you in his office just so you can gossip ?? 

gojo complains about being mistreated 

whenever he buys books he buys two, one for you one for him 

buys you lunch! 

since he does love food, friday and saturday night dinners are a must 

you guys like to try different foods from different countries! 

every once in a while he will drink wine with you 

you guys are pretty much a deadly duo 

will give you flowers! it’s sweet

he’s not big on social media but he will go on there to like your newest post 

gojo complains again i fear 

you planned a super big vacation for you both for his birthday and even got some days off for him

that was the only vacation he’s ever been on, and he couldn’t thank you enough

though you wanted to pay, he ended up paying for everything you wanted at the trip

you spent so much money on reservations and plane tickets, he was worried 

he refuses to let you pay for anything! 

he’s not a pro at dates, but he will help you plan out a date 

also buys you a new outfit and helps you get ready 

“Did you get her flowers? should we get her anything else, or is this fine?” 

biggest supporter, but also does not enable bad actions like fear 

“well you’re not my dad” “fine then, go and get butthurt” 

he’s very sarcastic and straightforward with you, you love it 

he’s very organized about his outfits, so you’ll mess with him by saying his shirt is untucked or something 

when he carries you on his back because you’re super drunk you’ll be like “you loveeeee mee” 

“you keep telling yourself that.” but he indeed loves you so much 

opens doors for you, car doors, keeps hygiene products for you in his car, never lets you pay, always has a jacket ready for you, carries your bags, gets you dinner, this man is THE gentleman 

“NNAAAAAAANAMIIIII” “oh god, what now?”

you bust into his office anytime 

you guys like reading the morning paper and sharing your thoughts on it 

you got eachother thin little matching bracelets 

he does wear his :(( all the time :(( he never takes it off :(( 

CUTE CUTE CUTE YOU GUYS ARE BESTIES 

tags: @saenora

[issushaim]

F and H for the fanfic asks? :3

F: Dialogue snippets

Okay, I LOVE writing Alastor and Vox interactions (evidently lmao)

This is actually not from a radiostatic fic as such, but writing them talking here pretty much kickstarted my obsession with them, haha.

I enjoy writing drunk Alastor pretty much any chance I get, but his absinthe moment in Sugarbomb was especially fun.

And this moment in CBH is still one of my favourites :)

I'm never sure if I put too many internal thoughts/narration between lines of speech (these examples are not too bad, but sometimes I'll be writing a conversation and then realise no one's actually said anything out loud for several paragraphs, lmao) but, well. It's a habit. H: How would you describe your style?

Hmmm. Difficult question! Fairly wordy I guess, though I try not to get too purple-prosey. I do love writing verbose pretentious bastards though (hello Alastor, Jing Yuan, Dottore) I've noticed I tend to focus a lot on characters' expressions and movements, and very little on physical descriptions of people and environments, haha. I write pretty much exclusively 3rd person limited pov, because I especially love using it to highlight characters' delusions and the lies they tell themselves. I also never write in present tense anymore because I always end up confusing myself and cannot keep it consistent, lmao.

[flickerintwilights]

let me preface this by saying that I’m sure someone will come around with a better take or a much better way of saying a similar one, because as I write this I’m mainly running on frustration and spite, and even though I’ve cooled down significantly since the initial watch (believe me lmao) there’s always a chance someone will explain it in a new way that paints the ending in a much better light. but for now I want to get out my salty take on this.

(this is, specifically, about the ending. the finale episode as a whole I’m not salting about.)

the ending is, to start, unresolved. I know people are probably countering this kind of statement by saying that Ahsoka is likely going to get a season 2, so it’s Fine actually, but that isn’t my problem. I’m not really concerned with whether it gets a season 2 or not in regards to this, because my issue is with how the ending is presented, and how in and of itself it doesn’t seem to think it needs a season 2.

we’re saying “of course it does”, because it is unresolved! we know it is! Ahsoka and Sabine are still on Peridea, any arc for Baylan and Shin fell off of a cliff and they end the series/season just being vaguely There also on Peridea, Thrawn has obviously returned but I’m not entirely certain that won’t be resolved in a movie, and Ezra came back but we haven’t seen a true resolution/aftermath for that (yet). There are loose ends. but the finale ends on a hopeful note, on what it clearly wants us to feel is a happy ending.

Ezra is back, but Ahsoka and Sabine are stuck on Peridea in the far-off galaxy, in a reversal of their places in the beginning of the show. Huyang too. Hera doesn’t mention them when Ezra gets back. there’s not even a hanging “Where are they?”. nothing. it is all presented as good, fitting; both Ahsoka and Sabine are apparently satisfied with where they are.

AHSOKA: Ezra is where he needs to be. And so are we. It’s time to move on.

and they smile and walk down to the happy village, while Anakin looks on with a smile on his face. cut to black.

but why are they happy about this? why is Anakin happy about this? just… why. it’s all so fucking inconsistent, downright backtracking on the development from previous episodes, specifically 4 and 5.

parallel to start off:

[Ahsoka takes her lightsaber hilt from her hip, and Baylan responds by doing the same.] BAYLAN: How inevitable. […] BAYLAN: It didn’t need to come to this. But you know no other way. (ep. 4) THRAWN: There’ll be no negotiating with the apprentice of Anakin Skywalker. (ep. 8)

already in ep. 8, Thrawn is making statements so similar to Baylan’s that it has to be an intentional choice, since both are fundamentally ramming the same thing in:

BAYLAN: Your legacy, like your master’s, is one of death and destruction. (ep. 4) AHSOKA: But my part of that legacy is one of death and war. ANAKIN: But you’re more than that. Because I’m more than that. (ep. 5)

death and destruction. Ahsoka’s fear and misbelief that she’s not more than that — that her past defines her, just as Anakin’s mistakes do. that Baylan is right. this fear is what’s holding her back, and the truth — that she is more — is what Anakin is trying to show her in episode 5. and if we go by “I choose to live” and Ahsoka the White etc, he succeeds.

so she’s developed! she’s realized that she isn’t just death and destruction, she’s more! Anakin agrees with this! great, wonderful. episode 8 seems to be taking this up again by having Thrawn tell her very similar things to Baylan, cool, hmm.

THRAWN: I know you because I knew your master. I concluded your strategies would be similar. One wonders just how similar you might become. Perhaps this is where a ronin such as you belongs. (ep. 8)

and then nothing changes. he says his line, meanwhile Ahsoka looks angry and tense but we aren’t actually Told anything specific about how she’s feeling or how she might potentially resolve this new conflict. it’s him trying to dig into her fears, but we never see her get to refute his statement, not to him or Sabine or even Huyang, and not to herself.

no. instead, Thrawn leaves, and Ahsoka and Sabine and Huyang are the ones left behind — but aside from a brief moment of shock, they’re fine. great, even. “perhaps this is where a ronin such as you belongs”, Thrawn says menacingly, and from what the show is telling us — yep. he’s right. hopeful music is playing, she’s smiling, this is apparently meant to be some kind of happy ending for her. therefore: she does, in fact, ‘belong’ here, and there is no need for her (and Sabine, and Huyang) to be brought back to their own galaxy.

and if Thrawn — the antagonist, in the show named for her — is right about that, is he also right that she’s “a ronin”? that she’s just like her master, so much so that he doesn’t even need to know her so long as he knows him? that all the ways she’d been shown to have learned and grown, they all meant nothing, because he’s stating the same shit that she was afraid of and no one says any different? that she will never be more than her past?

the ‘happy ending’ certainly doesn’t say no.

[tathrin]

Writing Year Wrapped (2023)

Ooh, thank you for the tag @sallysavestheday!

3 Favorite Fics You've Written This Year:

Of course we have to go with my current obsession, And In The Darkness To Unmake Them, an as-canon-compliant-as-possible Fellowship-AU that asks, what would happen if Celebrimbor got himself re-embodied and came back to Middle-earth to try and make up for his mistakes by helping to destroy the One Ring (and brought all his unhealed trauma with him)? Plus a slow-burn romance for Legolas and Gimli, a whole lot of delicious world-building for Mirkwood, and a more active role for Arwen too!

Five Times Gimli Died (and One Time He Didn't) is, I think, despite the simplistic and trope-y title, one of the most elegant things I've ever written, and I am very much in love with it. It's the story of Gimli and Legolas's romance, from beginning to end (well...not really end, because the joy of them is that they're a story that doesn't end—Gimli Immortality Agenda, you can't stop me!—but the story ends with the beginning of their happily-ever-after, which is a sort of end, no?), told in a series of scenes that takes place from Moria to the Undying Lands, and could almost slip right in between the pages of canon if you squint enough to overlook a little bit of meddling from Mahal on behalf of his new favorite dwarf (don't tell Durin).

To Live In Undying Lands is a series of snippets set in Aman after Legolas and Gimli cross the Sea, focused on both their new life there and that of our beloved Hobbits who went over before. And I went back and forth several times deciding whether to swap the placement of this one and Last Temptation... below, but I ultimately think that was a bit more of a stretch than this one, despite the fact that I Never Write Hobbits and am writing quite a lot of Hobbits for this one, and also I Never Write Snippets Without An Overarching Plot—and because I'm such a sucker for Gimleaf that if I have to pick a favorite between any two comparable stories, it's always going to be the one with them in it! (Also: Gimli Immortality Agenda, always!)

3 Fics That Stretched You the Most:

Dead Faces In The Water; Dead Faces Everywhere - I don't write present tense, I don't write modern AUs, and I don't write zombie stories...but here I am, writing all three at once! (Thanks, @katajainen! This story is 1/3 your fault, 1/3 @roselightfairy and @deheerkonijn's fault, and 1/3 Mira Grant's lol. And you were the inciting incident, so you get first blame!) And somehow having a great time doing it! (So much world building! I'm in paradise!)

The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm - probably one of the most overtly ambitious stories I've ever done. It's likewise in present-tense, although that's considerably less daunting now after almost forty chapters of zombies; but there were a lot of other balls to juggle on this story, including my first time properly writing both of the main characters as well as anything set in Ost-in-Edhil; and of skirting right up against the line of how close it came to all ending differently and making that (hopefully) feel almost like it could have gone differently and avoided all that tragedy in a way that, hopefully, both satisfies and distresses the reader.

And (I suppose this is a bit of a give-away, but it's not like I tried very hard to hide anyway; the anonymity is mainly designed to make people feel more comfortable offering con-crit, which I have no idea if it actually helped or not but I did get some lovely and helpful feedback on it, so I'm going to say the tactic has been a success) definitely Cliffside Revelations, which has the honor of being my very first explicit smut fic...even if most of the smut is an excuse for world building, which I'm sure shocks all of you lmao!

(And sneaking in an honorable mention of On The Far Side of the Sundering Sea, because my name isn't on the previous one so it probably doesn't technically count...which means I can slip in an extra story as a technicality, right? Right. Shhh, it's fine!)

3 Favorite Lines You've Written (loosely interpreting "lines" as sallysavestheday has cleverly demonstrated):

Oh this is difficult. Most of my best lines are only their best because of the context around them; and it's hard to remember them as distinct lines after their sections have been finished and posted. But this does at least save favorite and not best, so that helps; let's give it a try, then.

First, from Five Times Gimli Died (and One He Didn't) we have a moment of a revelation on Gimli's part, as he discovers that his heart might not be as alien to his Maker as he feared it was:

He stood in silence, staring at the unseen form of he who had made all Dwarves; of the Maker of stone and rock and mighty mountain. Mahal, who had made the Dwarves…Mahal, who loved the green.

This is one that definitely needs the context to make it work, so we're including the whole preceding paragraph from Blows Uncounted, a little AU-take on Helm's Deep where either the uruks are stronger or Gandalf is slower, and the battle has a darker ending.

For Legolas was not simply any elf: he was an elf of Mirkwood. Taur-ne-Fuin, the forest under nightshade; Taur-e-Ndaedelos, the forest of great fear. These orcs and uruks of Isengard, used to preying on earnest horse-lords and forthright farmers, had never met an elf of his sort before. Their northern kin could have told them stories of what befell orcs beneath the black boughs of Mirkwood…but orcs did not often come alive from those dark woods, not at least without Nazgûl to guard their travels.

And there were no Nazgûl here.

And taking a complete one-eighty in tone from the previous, I am quite inexcusably delighted with this one from Honeysuckle and Cider, and still giggle to myself whenever I re-read it:

"Uh," says Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King of Gondor, first of the House Telcontar.

(The line after it definitely qualifies as a runner-up, but I do think this one beats it out. Sorry, Faramir!)

Actually there's one other line I really wanted to put in here, even more than the one about the Nazgûl, but I'm not going to, because it's the very last line of the story it appears in, and reading it before you read that story would suck all the wind out of its sails, I think; so if you want to know what that is, you'll have to go read The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm for yourself.

3 Characters You Enjoyed Writing (that surprised you):

Anntar (Sauron), actually! I got to play with him as more than just a Menacing Presence in The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm and oh, he was so much fun! This was Sauron in full-on seducing-the-Gwaith-i-Mírdain mode, with maybe just a hint of how he actually wanted to be stopped, so that he could let the schemes for world-domination go and just be happy here with his smith-lovers...or maybe that was all wishful thinking on Narvi's part. Regardless, it was great fun to play with both failed and successful manipulations here, as well as to actually write something with my new favorite OT3.

Boromir may have come as even more of a shock to me, actually. I very quickly went from "distant fondness but very little interest" in Boromir to taking great delight in him, thanks in largest part to Dead Faces in the Water, Dead Faces Everywhere (and a little bit to Two Fell Into Shadow, although most of that was written or at least sketched-out earlier; but I'm counting it, because I don't think I realized how much fun he was fifteen years ago or so when I was writing it initially). Also, of course, his part in And In The Darkness To Unmake Them, although I haven't gotten to the point of posting any of his Grey Company chapters yet (shhh). He's such a wonderful sort of "I did not sign up for any of this; I have no idea what's happening; but I Am Participating Anyway!" sort of character, dragged out of his element commanding Minas Tirith's armies (where he's an extremely competent and confident fellow) and tossed into this baffling world of weirdness full of elves and magic and nonsense, for which he is so ill-equipped and ill-prepared. And yet he gamely goes along with it, because it needs doing! Whatever the fuck it is! He has no idea!

And last but certainly not least: Gimli, although this one may be less of a surprise; but it was a surprise to me how often I ended up writing from his perspective. I did not expect that, because I'm much more interested in elves (especially Mirkwood elves) than I am dwarves in general, and I've done a lot less world-building (a lot less) for Erebor than I have Mirkwood; but it's so much fun using Gimli as "the sensible perspective" (as well as an excuse to get really flowery with my wording sometimes, shhh!), not to mention an extremely astute and observant one, that he makes for a very addictive viewpoint character. I actually ended up having to make a conscious effort to switch to Legolas's pov sometimes, in fact, because it was so easy and charming to fall into Gimli's head and stay there! That was definitely a surprise to me.

3 Unexpected Inspirations:

This fucking dream! I still don't know what the hell happened to me that night, but it sure was unique and extremely unexpected!

And quite startling was the time where seeing the Legolas-always-looks-back-for-Gimli gif-post from the LotR movies cross my tumblr dash right to an Orpheus-and-Eurydice poll basically popped this whole-ass story fully formed into my head in one big rush of inspiration. Although the same thing happened with this post and And His Hands Ran With Gold and Shadow, so maybe I should stop thinking "random post on tumblr" is unexpected inspiration...

And uhhh....this XD

3 WIPs You're Excited About in the Upcoming Year:

And His Hands Ran With Gold and Shadow which I swear I will get back into working-on as soon as I get some of my other ongoing stuff finished, because I absolutely adore it! and I definitely want to write more on it! very much so! but the vibes required for writing it are so different from the other stuff that it's hard to switch back-and-forth between it and them (same goes for the zombie-fic).

An As-Yet-Untitled story set many, many, many years after the end of the War of the Ring in the Undying Lands, where our three beloved Hobbits (and one Dwarf) living on those timeless shores discuss their mortal lives, and decide when and whether to let them end.

The sequel to The Dark Reborn, because I am at some point going to drag my brain back into the galaxy far, far away enough to start reading and writing Star Wars fic again, and I fucking will finish this fucking awesome sequel trilogy fic I started, kriff it!!!

3 People Tagged to Share Theirs:

Tagging with zero pressure: @babybat98 @bifuriouswaterbender @katajainen

[4th-make-quail]

Salamander’s Big Ol’ Resident Evil Fic Archive

since we just had re4r, i figured it’s a good time to pimp out my resident evil fic! only recently knocked off my most prolific fandom spot by ffxiv (and that was entirely sart and basch’s fault LOL), although admittedly most of the fic is drabbles. what can i say, i was Having A Phase

Chris/Wesker

Addicted to You

Summary: Plain, out-and-out PWP. Table!sex, as it happens. Not much else to say! Tags: explicit Notes: first of a series of little fic challenges i set myself!

please (don't) wake me from this dream

Summary: Chris/Wesker, tentacle-porn. Or: what happened that one time in that volcano. Or did it? Tags: double drabble, tentacles, explicit Notes: one of my most popular RE fics, bizarrely enough for a double drabble lol. Anyway i really need to write more chris/wesker tentacle action

Steel Syndrome

Summary: Knife!porn drabble. Tags: drabble, knife porn, explicit Notes: holy fuck, this was written to commemorate the fuckyeahweskerxchris blog getting TEN WHOLE FOLLOWERS!! don’t remember why i stopped running that blog, it is lost to the mists of time

Like a Drug

Summary: STARS Alpha team get word of an illegal drugs deal going down somewhere in Raccoon City, but not everything goes as planned. Tags: explicit Notes: stakeouts! Injured Chris! Ill-advised fucking while injured (my speciality)!!

In the House of Flies

Summary: Knife!porn drabble. Tags: drabble, mature Notes: listen to deftones!!! I’m still correct about this song for these two :3c

Let It Burn

Summary: bottom Wesker! Tags: drabble, explicit Notes: it’s not all drabbles guys, i promise

Sketch

Summary: labcoat drabble! Tags: drabble, mature Notes: honestly… not all drabbles….

Second Skin

Summary: glove kink drabble! Tags: drabble, mature Notes: gloves… good…

Conduit

Summary: hypothermia drabble. Tags: drabble, hypothermia, general audiences Notes: bitches love huddling for warmth!! It’s me i’m bitches

Gunoil

Summary: The maintenance of one's weapon is important. Tags: gun porn, mature Notes: guns!! forearms!!! and we have an actual summary again lol

Unloaded Barrel

Summary: At the end of the week, Chris just wants to spend some time with Wesker. Unfortunately, paperwork has a habit of getting in the way. Well not this time. Tags: gun porn, fluff, explicit Notes: hey look more bottom Wesker!! Getting fucked with a gun!! ayooooo

Point of No Return

Summary: Chris wakes up back in time, before the mansion incident ever happens and boy is that ever fucked up. In which it's Barry's birthday, there are too many shots, and Chris has no goddamn clue what he's meant to do with all this knowledge that's haunting the hell outta him. Tags: alternate universe - time travel, fluff, happy ending, explicit Notes: my actual most popular resident evil fic! And, in fact, my most popular fic by kudos, even beating out one of the r76 fics i wrote lmao, wonders will never cease! I like this one - i think i actually started plotting a sequel but it never went anywhere. oops

Leon/Krauser

Appetite

Summary: Sieges are fucking boring. Tags: double drabble, explicit Notes: listen, i was going through a drabble phase ok!! Also this one has one of the most baffling comments i ever received lmao, only rivalled by the even more baffling one in Point of No Return!

Deadly Promises

Summary: Present tense knife fight Tags: double drabble, mature Notes: bitches love knife fights!!!!! it’s me i’m bitches once again

Wire in the Bone

Summary: knife sex drabble Tags: drabble, knife porn, explicit Notes: okay i REALLY need to write a full length knifeporn drabble with these two holy shit i’m sorry guys lmao

Not a Jungle

Summary: It's not a jungle. Not this time, but the damp heat reminds Leon of South America. Tags: knifeplay, explicit Notes: bottom!!! Krauser!!!!!! AYOOOOO

Jake/Sherry

On Bets and Their Consequences

Summary: Jake makes a foolish bet, and Sherry takes him up on it. Tags: mature Notes: shake, my beloved….. and hilariously one of like idk, three??? m/f fics i've ever written

All Bets Are On

Summary: Sequel to On Bets and Their Consequences - Jake loses the bet with Sherry and now has to pay her price. Tags: cross dressing, explicit Notes: i don’t even know about these two, don’t ask me!!

Parker/Raymond

A Little Different

Summary: Complete PWP - Parker and Raymond fuck for the first time. Things are... a little different. Tags: sounding, explicit Notes: the first actual fic in the tag and i still can’t believe there’s only 12 fics for these two?! TWELVE?! and ofc me being me, it had to be an obscure/unpopular kink for an even more unpopular ship LOL. play revelations, y’all!!!

Jill-Centric

Fading Entity - a gen drabble about Jill and the P30

Between Disgust and Desire - The P30 takes more from her than she has to give, and replaces it with that which she never wanted. Another gen drabble but can be interpreted as one-sided Wesker love on Jill’s side

[narastories]

Hi Nara, I hope you had a good day!

For Fanfic Writer Friday, do you want to tell me what you're working on (if you are on something currently)?

And if you've got time, I'd love to hear your opinion about the use of the past or present tense in fanfic, because it always gives me so much trouble. I don't really have a logic for using one or the other, so I'd like to know yours.

Thank you <3

Hi! Yes, thank you, I had a great day <3

Ooh, these are two very interesting questions.

1.

I'm sort of working on something... By working, I mean writing notes in my notebook and trying to figure out how to tackle this idea ^^" I really want to write a Dresden Files/FPA crossover! (Let's see if by announcing it publicly I can successfully shame me into going through with it... I doubt it, but we'll try it...)

I've never actually written a crossover, so that's already a bit daunting. Having to juggle twice as many characters/ships as I would normally is also a challenge... Currently, I'm trying to decide what POV/s to use, and how not to make this too long. But I think it would be fun to draw some parallels between the characters, and it would also be fun to bring two of the fandoms I like together like this.

Another, perhaps silly consideration is that I now have 99 fics on AO3... To make the 100th one a little bit special would be cool. (Okay, that might not happen because I have already uploaded my Yuletide fic, and I'm not actually sure where AO3 will put it in the order of fics once the authors are revealed on Jan 1st...)

Anyway, wish me luck, I can tell you that Philes would very much be on the menu ;) 2.

You're asking me this because of the tags on my last fic, right? xD

Oh dear, where do I even start? I actually wouldn't say I have a well-developed opinion on this. And I think maybe it's better if we split it into two categories: what I think of past/present tense, and how I would decide what to use.

Just from vibes alone, I would say past tense is very comfy. It sort of "disappears" because we're so used to it. No one will be turned off by you using the past tense. You can do anything with it.

Present tense, on the other hand, feels a bit more intimate to me. It can work well for a more poetic tone. It has an urgency to it like you don't know what's going to happen. But it will also very much turn some people off ^^"

I will also add that if I'm talking about multiple layers of past events, the English past tenses can give me a bit of a hard time, so using the present tense can gloriously simplify that lol

I do like reading either btw, but how do I decide what to use when writing?

I use past tense 99% of the time. (I mean, literally. I think I have 98 fics written in the past tense, wrote one in present, and I'm pretty sure the next one will be in the past tense as well lol) So I’m no expert here, although I do have some WIPs where I also used present tense and I would totally consider experimenting with it more.

To be honest, there is only one scenario where I would opt for the present tense always, and it’s the 2nd person "you" fics... Dare I say: *whispers* reader-insert. Which is a whole different can of worms altogether that we are now opening.

Personally, in my opinion, if you think old forum role playing was cool but you think self-insert fic is cringe, that’s a *skill issue*. Luckily, I have mastered my destiny and overcame feelings of cringe lmao (I'm joking, you only read what you want, of course.)

What I mean is, I find it very charming how self-insert or reader-insert fic specifically about RPG games kind of circles back around to the roots of the “role-playing” in RPG. I might not read certain types of reader-insert fics, but I think they have their rightful place in fandom.

Now, getting back to the topic of present tense lol To me, sometimes certain things will just fit better for a fic. For example, when I started writing my first Dresden Files fic, I started writing it in 3rd person, because 1st person felt intimidating. But the canon is in 1st person, and something in me knew that it just had to be done that way for the right tone, you know? (It doesn’t mean you have to stick to the way canon is written, of course. It’s more about what fits better with the mood you are going for and what effect you want to achieve.)

Same thing with my last fic: the fandom I wrote it for uses present tense and uses 2nd person for the main character. Yeah, sure you can write an OC and write 3rd person, but the right vibe I was going for was begging me to use the present tense. So yeah, in a sense it was me wanting to stick more with the canon vibe, even if that challenged me. Which is interesting because usually it’s the other way around, no?

That is a really long way of saying I tend to stick to what is closes to canon. But I think you should always listen to your gut and just write how you like it better.

Thank you for the thought-provoking questions and sorry for the long ramble.

[beevean]

I don't know if you can relate but learning Japanese has so far for me been a never-ending conga line of

Me: *translates a sentence in singular I-form, present tense* My answer manual: "Yeah that is actually plural we-form, also past tense. :3" like BRUH😭😂

(The sentence in question (I don't get kanji yet haha) was きょうしつ　を　そうじして、でんき　を　けして、それから　かえります。-masu!! No -mashita!!!! But what do I know XD)

bruh what, that is the non-past form. 帰る (the last verb) means "to return home". If you write it like that, it implies that it's something you're doing as you speak or that it's a habit. Where did they get the past from???

At least past and non-past (I call it that because it's both present and future lol) have different conjugations, pronouns are a mess. Japanese is a pro-drop, high-context language, meaning that in natural conversations you have to rely on context to have any idea of who's the subject or object 😂

For example:

"何故裏切った" makes perfect sense in Japanese, but it literally means "why betrayed". Who betrayed whom? Well duh, we don't need to specify, it's obvious, read between the lines :) English OTOH likes its pronouns and explicit context very much, so when translating you have to specify and hope that you guessed right:

This was easy. Sometimes it's not. This is how we get amazing mistranslations such as the President in ShTH going from implicitly thanking Shadow to explicitly thanking Gerald, because the Japanese script assumed that one would understand that the subject was Shadow without mentioning him.

... all of this being said, the Japanese used in a manual should be far clearer than this lmao. It's pretty well known that textbook Japanese, for example, relies too much on the pronoun anata because it's the most neutral way to say you, when in spoken Japanese it's considered rude. and i still don't understand how that sentence can be read in the past tense :V

[waddingham]

fic interview meme

oooh thanks so much for tagging me @scratchybeardsweetmouth !

Name: gayicedlatte on ao3 🤗

Fandoms I write for: the only one im writing for atm is ted lasso. ive posted for schitt's creek and twin peaks, written for the x files and good omens but never posted any of that

Two-shot: oh lord I think the only one I have is the vibrator fic fksjdjsj we're off to a great start!

Most popular multichapter: leg fic has the most kudos but honestly it's probably someday. that one still gets kudos and comments pretty regularly without any recent updates. but i think two sweethearts also passed it stats-wise so idk!

Actual Worst Part of Writing: i don't know really....i think posting and sharing is the hardest part for me.

How you choose your titles: a lot of times a story has been directly inspired by a song so I use lyrics a lot. otherwise i like to keep it simple these days, a single word or short phrase

Do you outline: almost never. they screw me up royally, I end up seriously overthinking it all and making a mess of the story and then get too frustrated to finish. i have to just write and go with my gut to be happy with it lmao

Ideas I probably won’t get to but it would be nice: I have a couple that I'd love to write and probably will sometime just for myself but are such specific experiences, I wouldn't ever feel comfortable posting for fear of misrepresenting something i haven't experienced personally

Best writing habits: i genuinely dont even know what this is asking?

Spicy opinion: i find present tense to be so much more enjoyable to write in. is that a spicy opinion?

if you read this whole thing and write fic guess what you've just been tagged!

[jvliaxox]

Canon Star Wars books every fan should read

The Aftermath Trilogy by Chuck Wendig: It’s based basically right after Return of the Jedi and is about a Republic crew hunting down Imperial leaders. I will be honest, some of it is slow and ik a lot of people aren’t huge fans of the present-tense writing and the “interludes”, however it does bring really interesting lore into Star Wars and I love its take on the found family trope. The first book is really slow, it wasn’t my fave however once you finish it the quality of the books does get better. It’s like the prequels, it starts off funny but after each novel it gets better. Empire’s End, the last novel, was honestly amazing and is so worth the read but you’ll need to get through the first two books first. If you’re an original trilogy fan or someone who just wants to learn more about Star Wars then you have to read this series it’s great.

The Padmè trilogy by E.K. Johnston: I have not read the final book (Queen’s Hope) yet, but I can say that the other two books are literally amazing. Padmè is actually a really great and important character and it was nice to see her as someone other than Anakin’s love interest. In my opinion, the books really do her justice. It was a pretty easy and quick read, especially as someone who (lately) has not been reading much. You also get some Naboo handmaiden lore and in Queen’s Peril you get some POVs from other characters which was cool. I honestly couldn’t think of any reason someone wouldn’t enjoy/want to read these books apart from not being interested in Padmè, I really enjoyed it and so did a lot of Star Wars fans so if you want to know more about Padmè, or you want to do some light Star Wars reading then read these books.

The Thrawn Ascendancy Trilogy by Timothy Zahn: I literally loved these books so much. Timothy Zahn created Thrawn all the way back in the 90s in his Legends trilogy and you can really tell this just by reading the books. The Thrawn Ascendancy Trilogy is begins right before the end of the Clone Wars and it’s basically like “what was happening in the Unknown Regions during this time???” as a book. Like it’s so interesting to see how this part of the galaxy was having its own conflicts and stuff going on and were pretty much oblivious to the Clone Wars, it really shows how isolated the Unknown Regions were to the rest of the galaxy. There’s also a lot of Chiss lore which is great, and the characters are amazing. One thing I will say though, the book is heavy on space-ship fights and a lot of the time when this was happening I didn’t understand like half the terms all the characters were using but the whole book was Thrawn just outsmarting everyone which is what kept me through it. It has me hyped for the other Thrawn trilogy which I haven’t started yet, but this is a great read if you saw Thrawn in the Rebels series and want to know more about him.

Rogue One novelisation by Alexander Freed: just a warning, if you read this you will never be the same, like ever again. When I started this book I thought I was gonna be bored because I was like “I already know what goes on in the movie, what more could I get out of this?” but Lord was I so terribly wrong. It’s an expanded version of Rogue One. You’re put inside the heads of the characters and you also get POVs from other characters that otherwise weren’t in the film and it is honestly just so amazing how much lore that a novelisation could bring to a movie, and to the Star Wars universe as well. Tbh if I hadn’t run out of tears I would have bawled my eyes out when I finished this book, it’s literally so good and if you love Rogue One then it is a requirement to read this book. Tbh you don’t even have to love Rogue One to love this, the writing was great anyone who likes Star Wars should read it lmao.

Bloodline by Claudia Gray: if you haven’t read this book then what are you doing with your life. This is one of the first Star Wars books I have ever read and I have no regrets at all. It’s about Leia’s final years as a senator in the New Republic, around five years before the Force Awakens. In the Force Awakens everyone was shocked that the New Republic was destroyed overnight by the First Order, but Bloodline does a really good job of showing how weak, careless, and corrupt the New Republic Senate really was. Like it actually frustrated me how annoying the Senate was, like you had senators who openly worship the Empire and senators who outright didn’t care about the people and at times it felt like Leia was the only sane person in the Senate. What is going on throughout the novel is that the Senate is divided between two factions: the populists and the centralist, and the senators are more concerned about someone from their faction becoming chancellor than actually doing their jobs. The book really does show how much Leia values duty to the Republic over herself, because at the start she is planning on retiring from the senate but stays for the sake of helping people, and eventually she leads the Resistance. Someone give my girl a break fr. But yeah if you wanna know what the hell was going on before the sequels (like we all do), or you love Leia (like we all do), or you love Star Wars politics, stop what you’re doing and read this book.

Honourable mentions (mostly books I haven’t read but a lot of ppl recommend)

The (canon) Thrawn trilogy

Lost Stars

Any of the High Republic books (I have only read Light of the Jedi and can’t wait to read more abt this era)

Battlefront II: Inferno Squad (if you haven’t played the game then probs don’t read this)

Any of the “From a Certain Point of View” books

The Legends Thrawn trilogy. I know this isn’t canon but I think it’s definitely worth a read and you don’t actually need a bunch of knowledge of Legends to read it.

Brotherhood

Master & Apprentice

Any of the Crimson Dawn comics

Dark Disciple

Ahsoka

The Alphabet Squadron trilogy

[honestlyvan]

7, 10, 17 and 19? 👀👀

(I assume this is for the WIP ask game)

7: What are you most proud of?

There's a couple of jokes in the Untitled Wrecker Fraternisation Fic that I haven't written out yet but I also think it's very funny that Impactor starts that fic out by commenting on how Bulkhead should bring his own booze if he doesn't want to feel obligated to entertain him, and then when Bulkhead does show up with booze he's like "are you kidding me. Do you trust me that little" and Bulkhead goes "calm down, Commander Martyr, I just never get a chance to drink the fancy stuff". Honestly I am really proud of the vibe of their interactions overall.

10: How would you describe your WIP's narrative style? (1st person, 3rd person, multiple POVs, single POV, alternating chapters, etc.)

I actually write all my outlines in omniscient 3rd person because I write all of my outlines as essentially scripts, stage directions and all. Often I'll know what character's POV I want to be following in each scene, so when I start editing I will fill in their thoughts first. So for First Do No Harm, it's 3rd person past tense, riding on Eunie's shoulder and for the Untitled Wrecker Fraternisation Fic it's 3rd person present, riding on Impactor's shoulder.

I should write more omniscient narrator, really. My stories always end up being from a single POV all the way through because I find switching POVs really unnatural.

17: Does your WIP have any themes or motifs?

..... I was gonna give a serious answer but then I realised "First Do No Harm" can be summed up as "bird yells at the Hedgehog's Dilemma" so lmao

19: Post a picture or gif that describes your WIP.

Still "First Do No Harm"

[sweetdeansaremadeofthese]

as a fellow jeffdean stannie. i’m v interested to know more abt ur novel-length fic

me too lmao!

but seriously, it keeps changing on me in small but fundamental ways. i need to actually sit down and plot it out PROPERLY (i started it before i knew how to outline a story), so i can be sure i'm actually addressing everything properly, satisfyingly, and in-character.

basically, This Must Be The Place starts post-s3, picking up with the aftermath of Craig's kidnapping! he's profoundly fucked up and traumatized after being held hostage for 3 months in a dirty basement in his own school, but most importantly, he's dealing with the fact that nobody noticed he was replaced.

i go out of my way to explore his identity issues, and how his relationship with others (read: jeff) plays into that. there's some gender stuff, but i'm still not sure how much i want to write from his POV. currently, he's got intermission chapters every so often, but i'm beginning to suspect that this may not be enough.

i'd originally made it a "jeff takes care of the dean and puts the pieces back together" (hence the jeff POV) but since i picked it back up and started working on earlier chapters, i'm beginning to realize that jeff is also dealing with his own identity issues at this point! he's spent the last 3-ish years learning how to be a completely different person, on top of his obviously extant mental health issues.

he's graduating! who will he be when he leaves greendale? can he survive without his friends? do they need him as much as he needs them? should he cut ties and run so he never has to think about them again?

craig is a welcome distraction from all of these things! it's easier to throw himself into someone else's business than it is to think about how fucked up he himself is!

but yeah, that's the gist of it. i'm absolutely not going to be publishing it anytime soon, because i want to get the whole thing first-drafted at the very least!

to anyone who read this til the end and is interested...here's an earlier draft of the first chapter. i have to decide if i want to keep craig's chapters in present-tense, but we'll see!

[justviwriting]

'Amy's Christmas'

Fandom: Doctor Who Characters: Amy Pond, Rory Williams, River Song, Eleventh Doctor (mentioned) Pairing: Amy/Rory Rating: G Words: 6.785 Summary: Amy writing down a story about all the different Christmases of her life. A/N: In 2021 I had the idea for a Christmas oneshot about Amy but I didn’t finish it in time to post it before/during Christmas so I decided to wait until next year. Obviously, I completely forgot about it lmao. And because I know I’ll probably forget again, I finished writing it and decided to share it now so it won’t die in my drafts. It’s a bit sad towards the end, just as a warning. Also, because the story is switching between tenses (and English isn’t my first language) I probably made some mistakes along the was ‘cause it got confusing, but I hope it doesn’t disrupt the story :)

[you can also read it on AO3]

I would like to tell you a story. A Christmas story. Not about a particular Christmas but about the many Christmases throughout my life. You might wonder how this could be an interesting story, but I have realised just recently that perhaps, the Christmases I have celebrated, and even the ones I haven’t, present the best way to but the insanity of my life into one short tale. Ever since I have started writing and publishing those stories you have probably read, I have told you, the reader, how many of those are not as fictional as they might seem. So, I wanted to share the story of my life. Now is perhaps the best time to do this.

When I was a child, Christmas had never been something I had looked forward to. I never hated the holidays but I never shared the excitement and joy all the other kids felt when Christmas approached either. For one, because I only ever had one wish, and that was for the Doctor to come back and take me on adventures through space and time, and with every Christmas that passed, I had less and less hope that he would actually return for me. So, no matter what gifts Aunt Sharon bought me, I never felt as happy as I should have been.

The lack of joy around Christmas was not just caused by my wish to see the Doctor again, though. There had always been an odd sadness rising inside of me every year, a sadness one should probably not feel as a little girl who had enjoyed a rather sheltered life at this point. A hollow sadness born from a distant memory of happy, bright Christmases that had been long gone.

I didn’t remember much about Christmas with my parents. Only a few memories had stayed with me in the back of my mind, like the smell of the vanilla scented candles my mother had put all around the house. And that old, worn-out star my dad had tried to put on top of the Christmas tree every year, hoping it would survive another. But really, that was it. I had been very young when my parents had died, or so I believed. I didn’t know how young, but I couldn’t remember when it had happened. Every year throughout my childhood, I continued to ask Aunt Sharon about our Christmases together with my parents, but for some reason she never wanted to tell me, even though I could see the same sorrow I had always felt inside me in her eyes as well. Still, she placed the few scented candles that still lay hidden in one of the drawers around the house, and also put the star on top of the Christmas tree, but only because I insisted. That was the first Christmas I properly remembered. The Christmas after I had met the Doctor for the first time. It had only been me, Aunt Sharon, and the dying star on top of the Christmas tree.

The year after that, Aunt Sharon had decided it would be fun to visit my relatives in Scotland during the Christmas time, so we wouldn’t be all alone on Christmas Eve again. I had not particularly looked forward to it, because I had known that I would be the only child there, and it was as insanely boring as I had dreaded. Before we left for the holidays, I had written a letter addressed to the Doctor and put it on the kitchen table, just in case he would finally come back, so he would know where to find me. I hadn’t given up hope yet that he might return and pick me up at any point. After all, he had promised. And I trusted him. To me, he was a friend, someone who wouldn’t lie.

To avoid the utter boredom of Christmas with my relatives the next year, I had spent the months before trying to convince Aunt Sharon to have my best friend Mels come join us.

“Please,” I had told her then, again and again. “I’m the only kid there. It’s boring. I need a friend with me.”

“I understand that,” Aunt Sharon had explained, “but can’t you pick someone else? That girl is only trouble. And God knows you’re already getting in enough trouble on your own.”

“Everyone else has a family to celebrate with,” I had continued persistently. “Mels doesn’t have any parents. She’s all alone. On Christmas. That’s not fair.”

Eventually, I had convinced her. Perhaps, in the end, she actually felt sorry for Mels, though she would never admit that to me.

Naturally, that Christmas was way more fun than all the one before – or at least the ones I could remember at that point. Every year, I had to convince Aunt Sharon again to take Mels with us, and every year I succeeded. When we were twelve years old, Mels had come up with the idea to give the Doctor a message. Next to the ancient house we were staying at, there was a huge corn field, covered in snow, so Mels had told me that if we dug through the snow to form the word Doctor, perhaps he would see it from outer space. So, we spent that entire Christmas on our message for the Doctor, ignoring my aunt’s pleas to come back inside. Sadly, however, he still didn’t show up, though I could have sworn that night I had heard the noise of that big blue box he travelled in.

As I grew older, I had stopped thinking about the Doctor. Well, that wasn’t completely true, but I had simply stopped trying to reach him, never giving up that small hope that he might return at some point. However, at some point, I had started to think that perhaps he had, in fact, just been part of my imagination. Somewhere deep inside me I had always known that wasn’t true, but it had been better to tell myself this than to keep waiting. And it made my aunt very happy, who, I believe, had been rather worried for my mental health.

Mels, however, was not tired of waiting. Sadly, she would not meet him when he did finally come for me. The Doctor did return, like he had said he would, just twelve years later than he had intended. He saved the entire world from aliens that tried to blow it up, then left again. As before, I waited for his return, but this time I stopped waiting early enough.

There was no Mels that Christmas after the Doctor, as she had ended up in prison, like I had always assumed she would. Instead of visiting my relatives, now nineteen-year-old me spent her Christmas by paying Mels a visit. She was the only person I could freely talk with about the Doctor. While aunt Sharon had seen the giant alien eyeball at the sky back then, she didn’t believe me actually meeting the Doctor. She had told me it had all been in my imagination, in a moment of fear, where an old childhood friend had come back to save me. She didn’t believe Rory either, because she had never taken him seriously regarding anything. Rory, my childhood friend and at that time boyfriend, also would rather forget what had happened. Well, the first days, even weeks, we had talked about nothing but the Doctor and the crazy events that had taken place, but then he had moved on. So Mels, mad at missing the Doctor, would keep asking me any sort of questions that Christmas. And I had to promise her, should the Doctor return, we would break her out and take her on adventures.

The Christmas after that, I also visited Mels – no words of the Doctor – and then spent Christmas Eve with Rory and his family. After I had told him I had no intention to visit my family this year, again, he had kept insisting on spending it with his family instead. Eventually, I had given in. I had always liked his family, they had always been friendly to me, but sometimes too friendly, too shallow in their conversations but at the same time too intrusive in their questions.

Before the dinner started, Rory pulled me aside, walking with me into the kitchen. I can still remember every little detail about that moment. The smell of the burned turkey, the slightly opened window to clear the smoke-filled air, and Rory’s very nervous, almost frightened face.

“Okay…so, there’s something…” He was taking several deep breaths in order to calm down, although that had rarely ever helped him calm his nerves. Had I not known him, I would have believed something terrible had happened. “You know,” he continued, “I was a bit annoying about you spending time with my family this year.”

“Yeah,” I simply replied.

“Well … there’s a reason for that,” he told me, his voice trembling more with every word spoken. “Something I wanted to do, but now … now I’m not sure how and when and…” He trailed off in his rambling.

“Rory,” I said then, laughing. “Take a deep breath and then tell me what you want to tell me.”

Another deep breath followed, and then he reached into the pocket of his jeans. The moment he took out a small box, exactly the size for a ring to fit in, the insides of my stomach started to turn, and for a short second I was not sure whether the cause had been joy or fear. When he opened it, and I saw the ring, I remember gasping slightly, but the feeling of fear had left me completely in that moment. He stood in front of me with the ring in his hand, which had been shaking so much, I was scared he might drop it, so I carefully took his hand into mine.

“I wanted to ask you, if you … if you want to marry me,” he said then. He had been looking at me the entire time, partly scared, partly hopeful, and so completely with love that I forgot to breathe for a second. However, his eyes had left mine then, looking down, as he said, “You know, I wanted to do it at dinner, properly, but then I thought … if you said no, that would be bad. And I didn’t want you to say yes just because you felt sorry for me, so I-“ He kept rambling on, looking at the floor, so in order to make him look up again – and also to shut him up - I had then taken his face into my hands, and once his eyes, still full of love and hope, had reached mine, I pulled him closer to kiss him.

“So…is that a yes?” Rory asked then as I pulled back, but leaving my hands around his neck, carefully caressing his hair. His hesitation and uncertainty made me realise then that perhaps my face was not showing my feelings properly, so I put on the brightest smile when I said, “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” I laughed, kissing him again.

We redid the proposal during dinner, and everyone was happy for us, obviously.

Among the laughter, childhood stories of us and champagne bottles, I suddenly came to the realisation that I was now an engaged woman. Not the little girl anymore. Not the girl who had spent hours sitting on the windowsill, looking out at the stars, waiting for the Doctor to come back. And who needed a Doctor when there was a Rory anyway?

But then, one night, I was awakened by a noise I never thought I would hear again. He had come back for me. Two years later, the Doctor came back. And I joined him. Forgetting about Rory, forgetting about Mels, I went on adventures with him. It was a childhood dream coming true, until the Doctor woke me up. He made the decision to take Rory with us, which, in retrospective, was the best decision he could’ve made. Well, there was that bit were Rory had died, but he came back to life, somehow. Most of you who are reading this probably know this story already, as I have written a whole novel about it – and yes, the story is true. But to summarise for everyone who is in the dark: We saved the entire universe and reset the timeline. Suddenly, I had parents. My parents never died, you see. They had been erased from time. And I brought them back to life. Like I had done with Rory before. Just my will against the universe. Not trying to boast here but that is pretty cool.

Anyways, suddenly there was that insane maze of memories inside my head. I remembered all my life, all the Christmases, with and without my parents. Suddenly, the scented candles had never left. Suddenly, Mels had spent Christmas at our house. Suddenly, Rory had proposed in front of my family, not his. But I still remembered the other Christmases as well. Like I said, a maze. Two different lives, but both real.

Then, we missed Christmas 2010. Weird to think about this now. I missed a whole Christmas. Not by not taking part in it, but by literally not being on Earth during that time. After mine and Rory’s wedding, we had left with the Doctor. Several months of traveling later, he dropped us off in February 2011. So, no Christmas. There was a Christmas 2012 though. But before I can get into that, there is some more backstory, because otherwise it would be way to insane to tell.

Now, this is a story I have never told before – or at least have never written about. And you will probably see why in a second.

I was pregnant which I had not known for a long time, because after the Doctor had dropped me and Rory off back on Earth, I had been kidnapped by some people calling themselves the Silence, which I can’t even remember ever happening. And I had been replaced by something called a Flesh, which is basically a clone, except that it only existed through my mental connection. So, I was in this place called Demon’s Run, somewhere in the future in space, but it felt like I was with the Doctor the entire time, going on adventures with him and Rory.

The connection between me and my clone had eventually been broken by the Doctor and I found myself at that place, pregnant, with contractions, giving birth … If you think that sounds bad, I can tell you it felt a hundred times worse than you could ever imagine. Which is why I have never written this story down before, and I why won’t go into details now either. Some things are better left unsaid.

What is important is that I had a child, a beautiful daughter called Melody, that I love with all my heart, despite everything that had happened. And then … then she had been taken away from me, kidnapped and raised as an assassin, raised to kill the Doctor.

And that girl turned out to be my friend, Mels, and she also was my other friend, River. Yes, I know, but stay with me. I had met my child several times throughout my life, without ever realising. First, by growing up with her, as my best friend Mels. Then, later, as a friend of the Doctor’s, taking part in some of our adventures, where she had also become my close friend. I know, that sounds confusing. Again, believe me, it’s even worse than it sounds. But it all turned out okay, eventually. I never saw Mels again, except for that time she had died and regenerated into River and then tried to kill the Doctor … But I met River again many more times. I never saw my baby again. I do love River with all my heart, however. And that is something.

So, at some point after all of that, the Doctor dropped me and Rory off back on Earth. He had bought us a new place, and Rory a car he loved, and we should’ve been happy, but I knew that this would be the last time I’d see the Doctor. The thing is, we had seen him die. A future version of him. And I knew that he knew. He had dropped us off to say goodbye.

Thankfully, River was there. A slightly older version of her. A version that had already lived through all this craziness a long time ago. She was there for us during that difficult time and also during Christmas as well. A few times I had tried talking to her about the Doctor, about his death, but I could never quite bring myself to do so. Rory was the one who had connected the dots; who had figured out that it would be her – our baby, our friend – who would kill the Doctor. I knew that it would have never been her intention. I knew she loved him. But it made sense that she would be the one, disguised in a space suit, killing him.

Then, the summer afterwards, I had woken up with a whole new bunch of memories buzzing inside my head, about a time that never was. A wedding between River and the Doctor in a weird, timeless place that resembled Earth, but not truly. Rory didn’t remember anything, but I realised what it was almost immediately: an alternative timeline. The Doctor had died. River had killed him, but only because he had insisted … After they had been married. Confusing again, I know, but at this point I couldn’t stop myself anymore: I invited River over, because I needed her in that moment. I told her about the Doctor’s death, and honestly, I was more than glad I had finally done so, after months of keeping my feelings and thoughts shut inside my head. Not only because it had helped unburden my heart, but mainly because she had intrusted me with a secret. A secret, I probably should not write out right now, but really, I doubt the Silence or anyone else of interest would read this story, so here it goes: He didn’t die. He was alive. He had faked his death, and River had always known.

River spent the next Christmas with us again. We waited for the Doctor to perhaps join us, but he didn’t come. Still, we had a beautiful time together.

Then, the next Christmas, he finally paid us a visit, had finally found the courage to tell us he wasn’t actually dead. I’m thankful River had told us before, because I would have most definitely punched him in the face otherwise. River joined us later, and we spent another beautiful Christmas together.

The year after that was the invasion of the cubes, another story I have published before. The Doctor had been gone for a while and didn’t come to visit us for Christmas, but River did, again. This time it was a younger River, so we had to be careful what we were talking about with her around, so to not share any accidental spoilers of her life. Overall, we still had a lot of fun. Well, until Rory’s dad came over.

He had entered, just rambling on about the weather outside, as if we had been expecting him. “So, are your parents coming, Amy? Oh, hello,” he added then, when he noticed River.

“Hello, I’m Brian.”

For a moment, every single one of us, even River, was speechless due to his sudden arrival.

“This is River,” I told him eventually. “She’s … she’s a friend of ours.” If River was in any way offended by my words, she didn’t let it show. She just smiled and reached out a hand to Brian, greeting him. “And no, my parents won’t come over,” I said then. “We’ll visit them tomorrow.”

“Oh, really?” Brian asked. “I know, I haven’t been in touch much with your family, but I’m ready to make changes. You know, spending Christmas alone isn’t really my thing anymore. Why don’t you invite them over? If they don’t have any other plans, of course.”

I was certain that, would I ask my parents, they would surely join us, but for a moment I thought that perhaps I should just tell him that they did, in fact, have plans of their own. We had kept declining their attempts to invite themselves to our Christmas celebrations, because we simply preferred spending time with River and the Doctor on Christmas Eve. It had become some kind of tradition, at least with River, and it was nice to have some structure and certainty in the otherwise uncertain life we led. And in our minds, all of them in one room had not appeared to be a good idea.

Still, I felt somewhat sorry for Brian, and I also knew that we would not be able to get rid of him either way, so I just said, “Sure, I’ll give them a call.”

After he had left to put the presents he had brought under the Christmas tree, River turned around to us, still a smile on her face. “I think it’s probably the best if I leave then.”

“No, stay,” I told her sincerely.

“I doubt that’s the best idea,” she replied, smiling.

“We don’t have to invite them over,” Rory said immediately. “My dad is fine on his own.”

River, shaking her head, replied, “You should be with your family. I have this,” she pointed at her vortex manipulator. “I can have Christmas whenever I want.”

She left shortly after that, and we spent Christmas with our family. Well, our other family. Or part of our family. Another part was missing.

After that Christmas, I made a decision. I had always known it wouldn’t be easy to tell my family about anything surrounding the Doctor. They had kept asking, and I had usually avoided their questions, but it was time to tell them the most important story of all.

I wasn’t even sure if I had never told them about River – Melody – because I knew they’d have a hard time understanding it, or because I was afraid of talking about it. About making it real. Somehow, in my mind, I could always separate those different people - Melody, Mels, River. I knew they were the same, but my relationship with them was different. Melody was the baby I had lost. Mels was the childhood friend I knew I would never see again. And River was the present, was one of my best friends, but she was neither Melody nor Mels, not really. I knew it wasn’t different for River. She had always known I was her mother, whenever she had met me previously, while I had been unaware. And sometimes I wondered whether she wanted me to be that person - her mother. She never said it, though, not even implied it. When she called me ‘mother’, it was usually in a less serious way, often jokingly. But I was her mother. And it was time that my parents knew that, too.

So, some time in November, Rory and I gathered my parents and his dad around in our living room. I had never been this nervous in my life before – and that said a lot. I was happy that Rory had been next to me, I’m sure I’d have never gone through with it if it wasn’t for him.

Then we told them. All of it.

Brian took it fairly well. I guess he had seen enough insanity in recent times. My parents needed a second. My dad continued calling me every day after that, always with a new reassuring message, that he loved me and wanted to meet River. My mum took a bit longer. I think she was a slightly scared. But as Christmas rolled around, and River appeared, my mum was suddenly smiling. This time, we were all together … well, except for one person.

Now, the Doctor had kept visiting us, and he had continued to take us on adventures, after letting us know he was not really dead, but he wasn’t there for Christmas. So, River had promised us to get him next time.

And then there it was. Christmas 2016. River appeared, the Doctor at her side. My parents were there, Rory’s dad was with them. A true family Christmas. If only we had known it would be the last.

Really, in a way, it’s beautiful. We didn’t know at that time, but we made that last Christmas memorable. Back then, I had hoped for more Christmases like that. A naïve way to think when you travel with the Doctor.

Rory and I had been sent back in time by a Weeping Angel. 1938 to be exact. None of our parents were even born yet and we were stuck in New York City. Where we also had to die. Or Rory did. Because I had seen his gravestone, which was the reason why the Doctor couldn’t come and get us. He would create a paradox, on top of several more paradoxes we had already created during that time, which, according to his words, could blow up New York. I had chosen to be here. My name had never been on that gravestone, but I hoped it was now.

That first Christmas we spent in a tiny, mouldy flat. It was cold, but we made due. Rory continued working as a nurse. Well, there was a world war about to happen, so there would be more than enough work for him to do.

That Christmas, however, we received a special gift. The manuscript to a book. A book River had written about our adventures in New York, right before the Angels had sent us back. A book, I had already read in some parts, because we had seen it before. Attached to it was a letter by River, which I still have with me. The paper now shines in a yellow hue, and the writing has faded slightly, but it’s still perfectly readable.

Dear Amy and Rory,

I’m sorry I have to contact you like this. I know I could come and visit you. I really could. Just using my vortex manipulator, I could go and talk to you, spend more time with you. I wanted to do it, but I decided against it. And please don’t take this the wrong way. I want to see you, more than anything, but I’m also afraid. Afraid, that the temptation would be too great. Could either of you, or me, really resist the possibility of getting you out of there? You know, I could get you back, right now. Back to your life, to your family. But then, we would risk a paradox, might risk the lives of thousand and millions of people. And in all honesty, I can’t tell you what way I would decide if I saw you, so I chose to stay where I am.

The Doctor is fine. I’m with him right now. He’ll be okay, and I hope you are too. I really hope you both are together, and are happy and love each other. That is all that matters. I sent you the manuscript to that damned book. I’ve finished writing it, but I need someone to publish it. I know you kept talking about writing books, Amy, even if you’ve never seriously considered it before. Now, I know that this is my story, but perhaps it can get you a foot in the door. When you get it published, please add an afterword, for the Doctor. He misses you and I feel like he would listen to you, so please tell him what he needs to hear.

I miss you, too. I wish I could come and see you, but I already told you why I can’t do so. However, if you want to talk to me, write me a letter, I attached an address. Please don’t come and visit it. I probably won’t be there either way, but I’ll check the mailbox every now and then, so you can send me letters from your time. Perhaps we can stay in touch that way.

I love you,

Melody

I had actually published the book. It took a while, but eventually I had found a publisher. And it became a bestseller. I’m also assuming you’ve read said book, if you’re reading this one now. So, yeah, the events were real, written out of the perspective of my daughter. We had also kept in touch with River through letters. We understood why she could not visit us, and we were not mad at her at all, because we, too, would probably take the opportunity to get out.

Several Christmases came and went now. No time traveling and missing Christmases and waiting for the Doctor anymore. That was in the past. Instead, we just lived our lives. Rory continued his work in the medical field, and I kept writing stories. Stories about our adventures with the Doctor. Some were a bit exaggerated, I admit, but for the most part it really was that crazy.

Then, in 1946, Rory and I decided to adopt a baby boy. We named him Anthony, and that Christmas we spent with our new, two-year-old son. We had always wanted more children, but after what had happened to me at Demon’s Run, sadly I couldn’t get pregnant anymore. Due to our insane and occasionally quite dangerous life, however, we had decided against adoption, as we were afraid, even if we did not travel with the Doctor anymore, that this part of our life would still eventually catch up with us. But now, that part was gone. Our family was gone, but we built a new one.

As the years went by, and our calm and happy life continued, things started to get a little more difficult again. Both, me and Rory, realised we were entering a weird time. For once, our parents had been born. They lived now, the same time we did. It was hard to resist the urge to go and visit them. But really, what should we tell them? And then there was 1969. We knew we had been there, in Florida and Washington. Our younger versions. Me, pregnant, not knowing yet. The Doctor. River. And then we realised River wasn’t just there once, but twice.

River had told us a bit about her childhood. She had said she couldn’t remember much, but I remembered her saying she regenerated as a little girl in New York in 1970. So, when that year arrived, I started looking for her. Rory had told me that it was a foolish thing too do, that the city was big and that I would only be devastated should I not find her, but I didn’t care. I kept looking. And eventually, I found a little girl.

She was about three or four, lost in the streets, but weirdly smart. She could communicate with me well, not like you would expect from a child that age. But that wasn’t what made me sure it was her. I just knew.

When I had taken her home, Rory wasn’t immediately convinced.

“What’s your name?” I eventually asked her, when I realised I hadn’t done so before. I had been so certain it was here that it had never even occurred to me to ask.

“Melody,” the girl replied. Then, as my heart made a jump, I saw Rory turning completely white. I went to give Melody something to eat in kitchen before I went back to the living room, where Rory still stood in shock.

“Don’t you see?” I said, tears in my eyes. “River told us about that old married couple taking her in back in New York. Now look at us,” I added. We were both well into our sixties now. Obviously, I looked better than him, but still, for a little girl we were both pretty old. “We were that old couple.”

Now, the tears also appeared in Rory’s eyes. “We can’t…”

“Of course we can,” I said. “We’ve already done it.”

It took a while to convince Rory, but eventually we decided to take care of her. We found a nice orphanage for her to live in, because we knew she couldn’t stay with us, as River had told us so, but every weekend she visited, and every Christmas we celebrated together. Me, Rory, Melody and Anthony. This was our family now, and the many Christmases we spent together made me almost forget the life we had before. Seventeen years of Christmas like this, until 1988. That was the year Rory died. He died the year he was born. The thing is, I had always known it would happen soon. I had remembered the age on Rory’s gravestone. Somehow, I had hoped I would die before him. Both, Anthony and Melody, were grown now. They didn’t need me anymore. But here I was, no Rory, just me and our children, one not knowing she was our child.

We had eventually told Anthony everything, including who Melody was. Despite us adopting him later in our lives, he was older than her and even though she didn’t know it, he cared for her like an older brother would. And we kept spending Christmas together, although times changed. Anthony had gotten married and I now had a granddaughter. Rory never met her, but he had known that she was on her way, so that was something. He knew we had a grandchild.

Now Anthony had another family, and while he spent Christmas with his in-laws, I decided to stay with Melody. Just like Mels and River, Melody had already decided to get herself into a lot of trouble. I had to keep an eye out for her, but I also didn’t want her to get too attached to me. The 1990s arrived and I knew Melody would soon go and meet my younger self. My younger self, that had just been born, across the sea… I knew I had to let go of her soon, while knowing everything she was about to go through.

Last Christmas I was putting up the decorations, thinking about whether I should encourage Melody to leave, while knowing I could never ever push her away, when someone knocked on the door.

“Did you forget your keys again, Melody?” I mumbled as I walked towards the door. “Or lost them? I swear, if I have to change the lock again, I’ll get you … River!”

I had opened the door and just starred at the person standing in front of me. It was Melody, but not the young version. It was her grown up version. A face I hadn’t seen in decades.

She just stared at me too, before a careful smile appeared on her face and she said, “Hello, Amy.”

I was simply speechless for a moment, at a loss of words like I had never been before. I had been sure that I would never see her again. When I didn’t say anything, River asked, “Is my younger self here or can I come in?”

“Er … no, no, just me. Come in.” I let her through the door and as we walked towards the living room I had just been decorating, I asked, “How do you know you were here as a kid? Did you always know?”

River turned around, still a smile on her lips. “I figured it out when you sent me that letter about adopting Anthony. And I remembered your names were Mr. and Mrs. Williams. That was just too much of a coincidence.”

I sat down with her on the sofa. “I thought you said you couldn’t visit us.”

“I know. That’s why I don’t have my vortex manipulator with me.” She showed me her empty wrist where her vortex usually was attached to. “I hid it away before I came here,” she explained. “I thought, after all those years, you might not want to get back, but I didn’t want to test it.”

I was glad she didn’t. Because, in all honesty, I didn’t know what I would do given the chance. Anthony had his own family, Melody would leave soon, and Rory was gone. It would have been good to see my family again.

“Rory is dead,” I told River then.

“I know,” she said.

“He would’ve loved to meet you again, too,” I said then. It wasn’t meant as an accusation, I was simply curious on why she decided to get here now.

“I know,” she replied with a sigh. “This visit wasn’t planned. I just thought about you both, specifically you, on this Christmas. With Rory gone and my younger self about to leave. Then I decided to get here. Talk with you for a bit, perhaps.” She smiled again, but this time it was a sad smile, and I noticed she started to fumble with the edges of the dress she was wearing, almost as if she were nervous. She rarely ever did that. “And also, I didn’t know whether you knew, but it was you who told my younger self back then to go and find you and Rory. I know I could’ve also told you that in a letter, but…”

“…but you came either way,” I said, smiling. “It’s great to see you again, River.”

We spent the next hours talking in the still not completely decorated living room. I told her all the details about my life in New York that never made it into my letters to her. She told me about what she had been up to lately, told me about my parents which I had asked her to comfort about my absence, and how the Doctor was doing.

Eventually, the door opened and Anthony walked into the living room. “Hey, I just wanted to check in with you and … oh, hello,” he said as he realised that I wasn’t alone.

“Hello, Anthony,” said River and Anthony just stared at her, confused at her for knowing his name.

“Anthony, this is River,” I told him, and slowly I could see the realisation hit him as he looked back and forth between us, stunned.

“River … you mean … Melody?” he asked, now staring at her carefully.

River gave him a smile. “Yes, that is me. But if I remembered correctly,” she added, gazing up at the clock, “I’ll be here soon. So, I’ll have to leave you two alone.” She got up and I walked her to the door, leaving a bewildered Anthony behind.

“You know, I always wondered,” I said then as she walked into the hallway, preparing myself to ask the question I wanted to since River had arrived. “When I got sent back by the Angel … did my name appear on that gravestone next to Rory’s?”

River looked at me, a sadness in her eyes that told me more than she probably wanted to. “Yes,” she said. “If not, I could just take my vortex and get you back to your time.”

“I know. That’s why I asked,” I told her. “You know, I never knew whether it was just Rory, and you simply didn’t visit us because you knew I wouldn’t leave him,” I said. “Now, I believe that also means that you know when I die.”

River’s smile faded. “Yes.”

I just nodded at her, putting a smile on my lips. Her eyes stared at me, with that sadness again, and even though I now looked noticeably older than her, I knew she was probably far higher age that I was. Her eyes had started to resemble more and more the way the Doctor used to look at me. All that age and wisdom and knowledge that most of the time felt more like a burden than anything else. Perhaps dying wasn’t too bad.

“Merry Christmas,” I told her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. The last time I had done that, she had been a baby.

“Merry Christmas,” River replied, the smile back on her face.

I spent that Christmas Eve with Melody. I convinced her to go look for her parents. On Christmas Day, Anthony and his family came for a visit. I took it all in. After that, I decided to write down this story. I know it will be the last story I will ever tell. Perhaps it is the only story that ever mattered.

[blinkaftermidnight]

2, 17, 29, and 36

2. Anything that you’d like to write but feel like you’re unable to?

You know, I really never thought I'd be able to write anything Star Wars, but I've proven myself wrong with that. I took a stab at a Leatin Grey's Anatomy, but it's so easy to get bogged down in the medical side that I didn't get very far with it.

Still, Star Wars fics feel very difficult for me even though I'd like to write them. It's just an intimidating fandom, and I read a lot of published Star Wars works and know I can't write like that.

I do have a fic from The Wilds that I finished forever ago and have the perfect title for, but something about it feels so wrong that I can't convince myself to put it out there. Maybe I'll take another stab at editing it sometime and throw it out with a disclaimer lol. I guess that doesn't technically count because I DID write it, I just don't think I accomplished what I was trying to do.

17. Past or present tense? Why?

Present. Every since I read The Hunger Games way back when, I've written in present tense. There might be some fics of mine out there in past tense (maybe old ones? I honestly don't know), but writing I prefer present. It sounds better, to me. Reading I don't really care or tend to notice.

29. What’s the hardest thing about writing?

Making myself do it lmaoo. Honestly, a lot of times it's FEELING like I've told the story I wanted to tell and turned it into something decent. Also descriptions take more mental energy and usually get shoved into the editing process because if the words are flowing, I like to let it go and fix it later.

Also editing is hard but sometimes I kind of enjoy it more than I enjoy writing it the first time lmao.

Also just...finishing something. So endings. And titles.

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What’s the one you’re most proud of?

Speaking of titles - song lyrics for the stuff I wrote for The Wilds and Star Wars. My FTWD fics and older stuff were mostly one word titles or something quick I just made up. Probably some song lyrics there, too. Titles are hard. They usually come last for me. I'll be ready to post and end up like oh shit I need a title.

Honestly my titles feel so cringey to me so I don't know if I'm proud of any of the song lyrics I snatched in particular. I do have a soft spot for we're falling apart still we hold together, but that might only be because I actually like that fic and I like its potential to be something even better.

Feel free to send more!

[clockwise-works]

4, 8, 22 - Mipha

Once again thanks for the ask, and beware, a lot of words below the cut...

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

hmmm, honestly a movie or an animated show would be lovely... but, I also don't necessarily trust the way she'd be handled. I mean yeah I'd love a canon Miphlink storyline in a movie or show, but even being more realistic and knowing it'd be approached in a "lightly alluded to so as to not upset non fans of that", it just seems like she and other characters would just be butchered and lose any nuance they could have for a 'General Audience' quippy movie. However, fics have basically proven a LoZ book would go SO hard, and a Mipha one, or at least her being a pivotal PRESENT character would be even better!

oh, a Zelda dating sim would be fucking hilarious honest to god. If Sonic can get a visual novel murder mystery game then give me my Zelda dating sim where I play as Link and can pair him with the right option! 😤

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I mean I could bring up how people dismiss her as a shallow love interest, or say she's 'more of a bland healer support' character, or worse a groomer, but at least for those two I can kinda understand that unfortunately some characters just don't resonate with some people. I get it! I didn't like Sage in Sonic Frontiers despite most of the fanbase loving her, I'm just not a fan of how they announce others as crazy for looking or enjoying the more deep elements of that character.

The one that really gets to me is when she's just reduced down to... Link's leash. His conscious. I think it stems from my greater disdain for the way a good portion of people flatten these characters (Link is a gremlin with no braincells, Mipha's his leash and is emotionally fragile who hates swears grrrr, Revali is a repressed gay boi who hates Link because he doesn't like him back :(, Urbosa is a girl boss lesbian drunk). Like no these characters have like actual nuance and potential! I get it in more humorous settings I guess, but it's just not for me. Goes to show how picky I am, that even when she's with Link it needs to be handled right lmao.

If you like those I don't care, like what you like obviously.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Well I just ranted about what I don't like so I'll focus on what I DO like lmao. I mean there's a lot ngl, I'm honestly just glad people took this character who had potential and emotion, and FLESHED it out. I think I do really like it when Zora/Hylian relations are rocky/not the best. It adds a little more tenseness to the relationship that helps reinforce the more timid or anxious parts of these characters. There's something... just romantic and hopeful in knowing that those two would be together in SPITE of that pressure. That they would champion a future where that's more common, more accepted.

Honestly the thing I really love though is when people approach her (and Link, but shhh we're talking about her) as someone who's afraid to tell people how she feels about them, out of fear of losing them entirely. I get that! I RELATE to that! For me personally, I'm not someone who 'falls' for people in one fell swoop. It... it takes time. I really need to know that person for a GOOD while before I can even realize I feel something, and that panic??? That "oh shit" moment because that person is your friend, they didn't start to talk to you out of anything more than wanting a friend. It's relatable!

As for non Link pairing stuff? I do love it when people give her little passions that are COMPLETELY headcanon. Her being into writing or art? Yeah! I like that! Let her search for an outlet to be creative and expressive in full! Her singing? Well fuck she's never sung in game but go for it! Bust out them vocals! I just like the small, non focused stuff. It makes her, and the world, and the history more filled and lived in. Even just a throwaway line of her having an interest in idk like Architecture leads to so much!

Hope my ramblings made sense...