#(also alcoholism literally cannot explain away what happened in Amsterdam)

[secretsoftheuniverse1987]

Thinking about the idea of a James Tartt Sr. redemption, and I feel like some people just forget about Amsterdam? Or just don't take it that seriously? Like, I can freely admit my own biases and that I wouldn't have appreciated a James Tartt Sr. redemption arc even if Sunflowers had never been written, but I feel like it does deserve to be a part of this conversation. James's abuse wasn't limited to cussing his son out about football and throwing boots at his head.

[thetravelingmama]

The Incredible Gift of Traveling: Memories

I’m a researcher. Since the internet was available to mankind - yes my darling Mia, I lived in a world where the internet was not available until at least my twentysomethings - I have been investigating and reading about anything I can put my eyes on. I recently read that "Core Memories” is just a marketing invention for a kids movie. We don’t have core memories. We do have lasting memories, that for some reason, we just cannot forget. This makes sense in a way.

Traveling has done that for me. It has given me lasting memories, some I remember vividly. My Grandfather, now almost ninety-something year old, is completely right: there is no better way to spend your money than by traveling. No jewelry, expensive bags, shoes, even a house can carry such impressive memories as even a day of travel.

So today, my darling Mía, I decided to write down as much incredible memories as I can about all the times I’ve been lucky to get on a plane, train or automobile. Here we go.

1) Your father and I celebrated the new year for the first time together on 2018. I will never forget that entire day. We went to the usual tourist traps during the day. We took a small break during the afternoon, and walked to the corner store of our hotel to buy some cheese, bread and wine. We walked to the Eiffel Tower at around 7pm and did not leave our spot until the new year had come. I remember your Father. He was so happy when the clock hit twelve. We kissed and hugged and I felt he was happy, for the first time in years. It was a wonderful trip.

2) I once was lost at the Venice canals when I was at least 8 to 10 years old. I was with my Grandma and Grandfather, and for some weird reason, I took a wrong turn and boom... I was alone. The fun thing about that moment? I was not afraid. My Del Valle family has a curious sound that we do when we’re trying to locate each other. I just started whistling the chord, again and again. I heard my Grandpa, far away. Whistled again, and again. In about 3 to 5 minutes, I was with them again. Something so simple, right?

3) Again, during that trip, we took a trip through the canals. The Bridge of Sighs’s bells rang, and I sprang up at the gondola and pledged eternal love to my grandma first. I remember her laugh...

4) My uncle studied at England for many years. Twice we went to see him, and I got to explore the wonderful world of Punk culture. Blue hair, pink beards, piercings, cool weird music. It was eye opening, because it showed me, at a very early age, that the world is way different when you leave your familiar surroundings.

5) Our honeymoon was literally made in storybook paradise. We started off at Venice for three or four days, walking around and just marveling at how extremely beautiful that place is... then we took a cruise to all the Greek Islands, ending up in Santorini. I can’t even explain how incredibly beautiful that place is, how much I wanted to stay just one more day, just one more hour there. We deserved such a great place to celebrate our wedding.

6) Every time we travel with you to Disney, I remember our days as a couple without kids there. The experience is completely different. First, we were always drinking and goofing around. Second, we didn’t have a agenda or a schedule to follow. With you, it’s different. We have things we are aiming to do, we want you to enjoy the experience but without the urgency of us needing to hit every single ride. Although we do take it slow and just enjoy the days, when you are older and you come to the parks with your friends or partners, you will know how different it is when you have kids. Trust me.

7) When I hit 40 years old, I told your Dad I wanted to go to Mexico and get extremely drunk on Tequila. He delivered. We went to the amazingly beautiful - at at times, expensive - Beloved Hotel, and at my 40th birthday we spent it like kings. We started the day at Chichen Itza, and the afternoon, your Mother just drank herself silly at the hotel until I could not handle one more shot. It was a lovely way to celebrate my induction into the 40′s hall of fame.

8) One night at Camden Town, we were just beat after walking what seemed like forever. On a whim, we decided to go to the movies. Again, normal travelers don’t hit the movies because, well, they figure they have sightseeing to do. Not us. Many times we have taken a break and gone to the movies. That night, we went to see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. We loved it, and we loved that we saw it late at night there, in London. We still talk about it to this day.

9) One rainy day in Paris, the cold had won. Our jeans were extremely wet, we had walked for hours... and we were hungry. We walked into a small restaurant, expecting to have to communicate a little just to eat... but our waiter spoke perfect spanish. We ended up eating a great, hot meal, and the waiter was so amazing, he didn’t rush us at all. We stayed at least for three to four hours, just enjoying our meal, read wine and a great conversation.

10) You cannot imagine how many great moments your father and I have had at New York City. We have been bowling, taken short naps at Central Park, have gone to see loads of movies and shows, dined at lots of amazing restaurants. But our greatest moments, the ones I miss the most? Just me and your Dad walking around at night, talking while walking. You see, your Dad and I are walking travelers. We love to walk around, to explore, to see. We love and cherish every single street, corner, park. This is where we thrive.

11) Although I don’t know if it’s still possible to do this: I climbed my way up one of the Pyramids at Mexico. Sun or Moon, I really don’t remember. What I do recall is my Grandma, announcing with lots of trepidation, that she could not make it down once we were up there. WHAT THE... “Mama, we just have to do it!”, I said, looking at her deadly serious. “You cannot stay here!” It was funny as hell, but at the end, I managed to get her down. I remember that day vividly.

12) I remember ALL of the times your father and I have celebrated the New Year in great detail.

13) Again, once in Mexico, your father and I were just almost dead drunk at the beach, doing nothing. Suddenly, I heard the most sweet version, in spanish, of “I Say a Little Prayer for you”. I stood up, walked to the DJ and asked who was singing that song. To this day, I have “Vuelvo a Pensar en ti” in my iPhone, because it reminds me of a great sunny beach day of doing absolutely nothing.

14) I remember lying on some beach in Maui, alone while your father was trying to find some beach towels, while I contemplated the incredible fact that I was going to be a mother. Just two days before our trip, I had found out that I was pregnant. For a moment there we thought that our doctor was going to cancel our trip, but I strongly believe that you are here because we took a break and relaxed, even if we were far away from home. It was our last trip as a couple. It was magical.

15) Your father proposed during a very small trip to New York City. Central Park will forever be our home because it holds that memory. Also, the city is special because that’s where you were conceived!

16) Once Thanksgiving we went to NYC with our best friends. I cannot even begin to tell you how much fun we all had, specially you! You walked around Central Park during a very well deserved picnic - with Zabar’s take out, the best! You loved the zoo, and laughed every day while your Dad carried you around the city. Fun fact, EVERYONE stopped us to say how beautiful you are. In a city famous for people not caring about anyone else, it was refreshing to see and hear a lot of people gushing about your eyes, your smile and how lovely you are. It still happens to this day.

17) Your Dad and I ate Spacecakes at Amsterdam. He did not feel a thing. I ate my part and half of his, because I too didn’t experience anything. At the end of the night, I giggled for exactly a minute and a half and went to sleep. Years after that, I learned that I have a high tolerance for Cannabis, and I don’t feel anything if I try it. Alcohol seems to be king in my domain. Besides that funny memory, I do have to say that the second most beautiful place I have ever seen in my life is that place.

18) We traveled to Cuba with you last year. Although I consider that I have a lot of perspective in life, I did learn a lot about the human experience during that trip. Cuba is just like where we live, it’s just stuck in time. Compared to our Island, we are so very much alike... and so different at the same time. The memory I cherish the most? Seeing you walk with your Dad in a place we never thought we could visit.

19) Once during the change of guards at Buckingham Palace, my grandpa was with me just in front of the gates. He started explaining how the guards were not allowed to smile, or talk to anybody. At that exact moment, something incredible happened. A guard was looking at me and winked AT ME! I started screaming and giggling! “Papa, he broke the rules!”, I yelled. Yep, one brave guard did the unthinkable. It is one of those amazing moments that you never forget.

20) Last memory of the day: your Dad and I love graffiti. While people might walk around a city and say that it’s ugly or dirty, we only see art and design in almost all of them. You have to discard Tagging, which is just someone writing a name. That’s not art, that’s not graffiti in our book. So, the best place to enjoy it? Berlin. We walked almost the whole Berlin Wall, which has many amazing art. It’s a long trek, but we enjoyed it, immensely.

Bonus round! One afternoon, while walking the Senne, we were dead tired. It was almost 2pm and we had been walking since the early morning with absolutely no rush, no agenda, no items need to be checked. When we travel, we take our time. Why? Because traveling in a hurry is no fun at all. Don’t have time to see it all? Well, plan for returning again. So there we were, exhausted. We found a small, impromptu bar just near the river. Any other tourists would have walked by in a hurry. Not us. We sat there, had a couple of rounds of red wine and did what the locals do: just talk and watch the sunset. That day, the sun gave us a show.

Well, let’s close this memories post for now. I have lots of more cool stuff to tell you about. Now that you’re older, I’m so excited to finally take you beyond the parks and cities that you already know! I want to inspire you to travel and explore the world like my grandparents taught me. The best thing in life is to get out of your comfort zone and see how incredibly beautiful life outside your home is. Do you know what will be one of the best things I can hope for? That one day, when you are older like me, you can think back to all the amazing memories we had traveling together. If I inspire you to travel as I was when I was a kid... then I did something good with my life. Te amo mucho. Mamá.