#(That's really the extent of my reply though hmm maybe I should have just Said that and answered dkdvfjnfhd)

[oldmanlusting]

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. lxxi - really proud of you sweetie ❤❤

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??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

The whole time you went out to buy snacks with San and Jongho, you couldn't help but think about how Yeosang was still cold towards you.

"Okay, first of all, you're not gonna let that shithead get to you, you got me?" San firmly said as he threw a bag of chips at Jongho's head, obviously aiming at the basket in his hand but he miscalculated.

"Second, hasn't he opened up to you slightly? Pretty sure he said something to Hwa hyung about being a dick to you yesterday," San shrugged as the three of you walked towards the cashier.

As Jongho put the basket on the counter, he chimed in with his own opinion, "I say let him be all pissy and bitchy towards (Y/N)," he scoffed.

You let out a whine of protest and smacked Jongho on his arm. Though that barely did anything as he only grinned and pulled you into his arms. "I didn't mean that in a bad way, I just meant that if he decided to back off, the rest of us, aka ME, can have more of you," he whispered into your ear as he snaked his arms around your waist.

Though you were slightly affected by Jongho saying that there was a chance that Yeosang wanted to back off of your relationship, you couldn't help but blush and giggle at Jongho's rather possessive words and actions.

The three of you left the convenience store with two bags. Both of course being carried each by San and Jongho as you stood in between them with your pinkies linked to each other.

"You know, you COULD just show what Yeosang's missing, maybe then he'd realize how much of a bitch he was being and that he'd stop," San said, snickering at himself.

You thought over San's words and realized that he was right. Rather than thinking that you're the one at the disadvantage, you can simply flip things around and make Yeosang break.

So you concocted a plan in your head all the way back and as you got ready for movie night.

Whilst everyone was running around everywhere, pulling blankets and pillows from their rooms, you sat idly by and kept a close eye on Yeosang. The way you were looking at him made it seem like you're a predator and Yeosang's your prey.

As everyone took their seat, you slyly directed each of the boys to sit where you want them to sit, leaving the last comfortable position directly below you, by your feet. Since you know Yeosang tends to go to the bathroom last minute, it meant that he was going to have to sit at the available spot if he wanted to comfortably watch the movie.

Just as you expected, he walked back and froze for a second when he realized where he would be sitting.

"Yeosang, come on, we're gonna start now," Hongjoong called out from his position at the edge of the sofa.

Knowing he can't do or say anything, Yeosang gave up and went to take a seat by your feet. You smirked inconspicuously as you leaned against Seonghwa who was at your right. You nuzzled into him as your legs reached over to Wooyoung's lap on your left.

In the first ten minutes of the movie, you let Yeosang relax, not letting any parts of your body touch his. This seemed to be effective because his eyes were focused on the screen and his shoulders seemed very much relaxed.

But when he seemed to disregard your existence, you let your knee and fingers brush against the back of his neck. As your skin made contact with his, he visibly stiffened. Knowing him, his eyes were most likely bulged out and his grip on the blanket he and San shared tightened to the point that his knuckles turned white.

You smirked at yourself at his reaction, knowing that teasing him was going to be fun and that he deserved it.

The subtlety of your touch seemed to awaken something in Yeosang. Maybe it was his triggered frustration or it was just simply the fact that you hadn't touched him in the longest time.

When your eyes peeked down at him, it was evident that his mind was thinking a hundred thousand thoughts a minute. With his chest rising and deflating with each breath dramatically, you know it's time to take it up a notch and to test your hypothesis.

Sexually frustrated Yeosang + subtle teasing = boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing.

"Oops, almost forgot my popcorn," you muttered lowly but loud enough for Yeosang, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung to hear. Once Seonghwa and Wooyoung let their grip on you off, you proceeded to swing your right light over Yeosang and stepped diagonally. With the newfound balance, you leaned your body forward to pretend to reach for the popcorn bowl.

With this position, Yeosang was in direct eyeliner with your clothed core. The shorts you wore were not helping either. It was the pair you wore were the ones Wooyoung bought for you; very tight and short, the black, stretchy material both accentuated and covered only half of your ass.

To make things worse, you pretended to lose your balance and fell directly on Yeosang's lap with a high, squeaky yelp, albeit very fake. The close proximity between you two enabled you to hear the choked gasp that came out of Yeosang. Not only that, but you felt something hard pressing against your ass.

Either Yeosang hid the remote in his pants or your plan worked well.

You turned your face to look at Yeosang with a faux innocent, apologetic face, "Oops, sorry Sangie," you apologized to him, batting your eyelashes at him.

It seemed that Seonghwa and San had caught onto your plan. They were snickering at the scene unveiling before them.

Without saying anything else, you stood up. To make things worse, with your ass directly in front of Yeosang, you 'fixed' your shorts; pulling it up and exposing more of your ass.

"I'll be back," you told the room, to no one specific, before walking towards the kitchen.

You pretended to look around in there, trying to find something when suddenly a set of footsteps followed. Before you could even turn to look at who came, you had been swung and pushed until your back hit the fridge's door.

The sight of Yeosang's flustered face combined with his glare greeted you. You tried your best to not look so smug. On the contrary, you pretended to be confused.

With hands pinned at the sides, you knew you couldn't do much. You tilted your head at him and blinked innocently, "something wrong, Sangie?"

Hearing the faux innocence dripping from your voice only made Yeosang growl, slightly ticked that you dared play him like a fiddle.

"Something wrong? Are you seriously that ignorant or are you just pretending to be dumb? I don't even know which one is worse but I'm fucking sick of you flaunting your ass like a damn peacock trying to mate," he rambled on.

Your expression changed as a smirk broke on your face, "didn't know you're one to give in so easily, Sangie? You think with your dick now?" you poked fun at him.

Yeosang's left eye visibly twitched at your words. One of his hands let go of one of yours to grab at the back of your hair, tugging it back rather harshly, eliciting a moan out of you, "are you comparing me with one of the cheap boy toys that you played with when you weren't here? Didn't know your standards were lowered to that extent," he smirked, trying to push you the same way you did him.

A gasp and a low groan left Yeosang when you cupped his dick with your free hand over his pyjama pants, giving it a bit more pressure to feel how hard he was.

"No matter how much you call them 'cheap boy toys', they have bigger balls than you, Sangie. How long did you plan on being all pissy with me, hmm? Did it hurt your pride that I had to be the one who initiated direct contact with you?" you snarled at him.

You could see his eyes burn in anger with a tinge of shame. You knew you had struck a nerve in him.

All of a sudden, Yeosang pulled you off the fridge, turned you around and pushed you down by the shoulder to the point that your cheek was pressed onto the cold countertop.

Excitement filled you as you realized where this was going. Your formula was spot on, your H1 was accepted and H0 was rejected.

When you realized that Yeosang was not doing anything, you took matters into your own hands. You pressed your scantily clad core directly against his boner.

"Not gonna do anything, Sangie? Do I have to get one of the boys to show you how to use a dick properly? Or should I call one of Haknyeon's friends to show you? There's this one, Hyunjae I think was his name, he-"

You couldn't complete the sentence as Yeosang had slapped your ass so hard, you were sure he had left a purple handprint there.

As you were about to protest, Yeosang had somehow taken a clean rag and wrap it around your mouth as a makeshift gag. He leaned forward so that his chest was pressed onto your back.

"Be a good girl and keep your big mouth shut, yeah?" he ordered. His hand skimmed your waist down to your legs and it slowly caressed the back of your thighs, leaving goosebumps at their wake.

When he realized you didn't give him any response, his hands smacked the sides of your legs harshly, making you jolt up in surprise.

"Too dumb to answer?" he growled. Hearing the anger in his voice made you whimper out in fear and submission.

Yeosang smiled and pecked the back of your neck after you replied to him, your submission made him feel soft for a split second.

It wasn't until he pulled your shorts and panties carelessly along with his own pyjama pants and underwear that your brain finally registered that you're about to have angry sex with Yeosang. From how he had been treating you so far, you're at least 70% sure that there will be bruises all over you tomorrow.

Without hesitation, Yeosang shoved his dick deep into you, hips pressing against your ass as his hands found anchor on your waist. His grip was tight, vice even, it almost seemed possessive.

He set a harsh and quick pace from the beginning, not caring that your hips were smacking the counter nor the fact that literally anyone could enter the kitchen area.

Yeosang isn't one to talk much during sex, he tends to focus on the action more than anything else.

The feeling of him continuously entering you at such pace and vigour were intoxicating. Maybe it was all the pent up frustration and anger, but you swore your eyes rolled back even further each time his hips smacked yours harshly. You definitely won't be able to sit on your ass after this.

"Shit, I guess you were telling the truth when you said you weren't playing with your cousin's friends," he groaned out mid-thrust.

Yeosang suddenly pulled out, making you whine in protest.

If it weren't for the extreme sexual tension and both of your compromising predicament, Yeosang would've cooed at how adorable you sounded.

But that wasn't his priority at the moment.

Wordlessly, Yeosang pulled you off the counter to move you to the wooden dining table. He pushed you to lie on the table as he propped a leg up to his waist.

With this new position, you could see the defined lines of his chest peeking from his pyjama when he anchored himself above you. You thanked the workout regime he had been following internally because the sight of his muscles made your pussy throb.

Yeosang immediately went back to thrusting with an animalistic pace into you, pouring every bit of emotion he had into action. You could feel it. The way he was so close to you but still maintaining a certain distance, you knew that he was hesitating. The way he was avoiding your eyes and focus on where you both were connected, yearning for intimacy but scared to initiate it. But you also know that he wanted you beyond anything else and that he was sorry. He wasn't one to be good with words but luckily you know him well enough to understand him.

As he focused on pleasuring you both, you took the chance to prop yourself up slightly and pull the rag gag off your mouth and threw it to the side.

Your hand slapped his face, stunning him for a second. As his movements halted and eyes finally meeting yours, your grabbed his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

He froze momentarily, not knowing what to do. But when you pulled out to speak to him, you could see that his stubbornness began to chip away and crumble.

"You don't have to feel bad about what happened, I forgave you and it's about time you forgive yourself for being a jerk to me. And I'm sorry for leaving you to take care of everyone like that, Sangie. But can we please move past all that and go back to normal?"

His once vice grip on you loosened.

At first, you thought he was going to let you go and run away.

But he suddenly pulled you up and flush against him. He hugged you tightly, burying his face on your shoulder.

"I should've been the one to apologize first. I'm sorry, I love you so much," he said lowly against your skin. You knew that it was hard for him to be so vulnerable which was why you know him saying all that meant that he was being beyond sincere.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as his wrapped around your waist.

Soon his thrusts continued.

The initial roughness and anger were replaced with longing and desperation.

Not long after, you felt that you were close to the edge. Your leg that was hoisted up on Yeosang's waist tightened and Yeosang immediately realized what it meant.

His hands slipped under your shirt to play with your chest. His fingers tweaking and pinching your nipples, adding to the pleasure that he gave. The intense arousal shot to your pussy and you clenched hard as you came.

Head thrown back, exposing your neck to him, Yeosang took the opportunity to mark you up as he liked.

The feeling of his fingers on your nipples, his mouth on your skin, and his dick still moving inside you prolonged your orgasm more than you liked. The intensity made you whine as overstimulation took over.

Luckily, Yeosang soon followed suit and released his load inside you. His hips stuttered and his teeth bit down onto your shirt-covered shoulder. You yelped at the sudden pain but the pain turned to pleasure, making your thighs shook and pussy once again clamping around Yeosang.

Yeosang let out a guttural groan that was muffled by your shoulder at the feeling, not denying how good it felt.

You both stayed there, trying to catch your breath. It was then that you registered the aftermath of your intimate activity with Yeosang. Your pants and panties had somehow stuck onto one of the drawer handles of where you were pinned down, the rag that was used as a gag had somehow made its way to the edge of the room, and Yeosang was still fully dressed.

When your eyes met his again, you see fondness and love in them, He was smiling down at you, fingers trailing down to intertwine with yours.

"What would it take me to get your full forgiveness?" he asked, head tilting to the side. His bangs moved to reveal the birthmark that he had told you a while ago he was insecure about. You leaned forward and pecked the adorable mark, making him chuckle.

"Just don't pull yourself or push me away again when things are hard, okay? The last thing I want is to almost lose you again," you told him.

He brought one of your intertwined hands to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, "there is no way on earth that you'd be able to lose me. I was actually thinking the other way around," he admitted shyly.

You bit back a giggle for his sake and opted to kiss him fully on his lips. "You would never lose me, Sangie, I belong with you, all of you," you assured him.

As he pulled himself out of you and began to clean himself up, he was reminded that the others were a room apart.

Yeosang visibly swallowed, suddenly turning nervous.

"D-do you think the others-"

"Seonghwa and San were well aware that we were having sex here, pretty sure the others heard everything as well," you said, cutting him off.

"Yeah we did! You both better clean and disinfect the heck out of the kitchen area," Seonghwa yelled out from the living room.

Hearing that, Yeosang blushed madly and moved to bury his face into your shoulder in embarrassment.

You couldn't help but laugh at him. But you wrapped your arms around him and stroked his back comfortingly.

At least you got the old Yeosang back.

taglist :

@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldogblog @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @em0yunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @peachyho@taejichafe @alliecoady98 @rdiamondbts2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @ohmy-fandoms @ateezminonspace @stray-bi-kids @imaaroy @fashi0nablee @rindomo @violetwinters @nabihwa @linhyyboo12 @mirror-juliet @bestboiericsohn @kpop-khh-writer-trash

[kaeyasaki]

📹 — :; “face-to-face” GQ interview

-> inspired by the “face-to-face, A$AP rocky answers 18 from rihanna | GQ interview”, except i make the questions a little more personal because i don’t think anyone cares what gojo’s ‘fav curse word is’

-> ft :; gojo satoru

-> interview writing layout heavily inspired by @rintaroll

y/n: hey GQ! i’m here to do face-to-face with my co worker, gojo!

gojo: coworker? is that all i am to you?

y/n: be grateful i even acknowledged you.

gojo: you wound me.

y/n: yet you’re still smiling.

gojo flashes a playful frown to the camera as y/n roll their eyes before pulling out a stack on cards.

y/n: so first question, what’s the hardest part about working with me?

gojo: everything.

y/n: i’m serious.

gojo: and so am i, you make it hard for me to work with you because we never get anything done.

y/n: don’t make it sound like it’s my fault! we never get anything done because you get too distracted and drag me into it!

gojo: maybe you should discipline me more...

he teases and sends you a wink to which you dismiss quickly.

y/n: you’re a grown man, you shouldn’t need me to discipline you.

gojo: what if i want you to?

y/n: would you just answer the question seriously or i’ll really start to think you don’t think we work well together!

gojo: okay, i was kidding... you’re actually a pretty good teammate when we’re sent on missions together, i have fun with you... maybe a little too much fun...

y/n: don’t give them the wrong idea we’re nothing like that!

you cringe at him as he laughs before the camera cuts moving onto the next question

y/n: okay, second question, answer seriously from now on, got it?

gojo: anything for you~

y/n: you disgust me... anyway, how well would you say you take care of yourself?

gojo: you mean like... self care wise?

y/n: yeah, like self care!

gojo: hmm well, i’d say i take care of myself pretty well, after all, pampered men are attractive men right?

y/n: i mean sure, i think it’s attractive when a man takes care of himself but if that mans you... maybe not so much.

gojo: you don’t mean that! you must be somewhat attracted to me.

y/n: can’t say i am no.

gojo: lying is a sin you know.

y/n: you’re totally straying away from my initial question.

you groan and face the camera and gojo tilts his head and laughs.

gojo: sorry, well, i’d say i clearly look after myself very well which should be to your liking.

y/n: you’ll never be to my liking, but it’s nice to hear you take care of yourself well and that you’re not just an annoying man, but rather an annoying but hygienic man.

gojo: you’re so horrible to m-

the camera cuts as you start laughing and gojo starts whining.

y/n: we’re getting through these quickly now let’s keep it that way.

gojo: you know, we’d be half done by now if you stopped insulting me every chance you get.

y/n: i’m the quizzer, you’re the answerer, you answer when spoken to.

gojo turns to face the grinning camera crew behind the cameras on set.

gojo: now do you see what i have to put up with! i’m a victim i’m telling you!

camera man: no no, keep it up, you guys have nice chemistry

y/n: chemistry? not to be rude but you must’ve failed science, the only clear dialogue between us is practically conversation between an adult and child.

the camera crew laugh and gojo feigns offence before you clear your throat and look at the next card.

y/n: anyways, when was the first time you were majorly recognised as ‘famous’?

gojo: ah, a long time ago i need to think, give me a sec.

you pretend to yawn as gojo thinks about his answer before smiling at you.

gojo: my second year i think. that’s when i really started getting noticed for my talent.

y/n: practically a star since birth i see, how do you do it?

gojo laughs at your sarcasm as you grin back, evenly matched banter between the two of you flowing on set.

gojo: i’m handsome and gifted, i was made for this kinda life, it all comes naturally to me.

y/n: you know what doesn’t come naturally to you though?

gojo: hm?

y/n: that dress sense.

gojo: what’s wrong with my outfit?

y/n: bland, basic, and the way you chose itadori’s uniform was just straight up ugly!

gojo: he liked it!

y/n: the poor boy probably didn’t have the heart to express his disgust to your face.

gojo: well, until he does i’m gonna believe he likes it and my dress sense is more than up to standard.

y/n: if that’s what helps you sleep at night i guess...

the camera cuts with the two of you playfully bickering with each other, any previous speculation of hostility now gone as it’s clear for watchers to see just how your dynamic together works.

y/n: question four! what’s the first thing you notice in a person?

gojo: in general or when analysing to an extent?

y/n: in generals fine.

gojo: hm i would say looks, but i don’t wanna look too shallow on camera.

y/n: they would’ve just recorded you saying that. don’t be shocked if you’re trending on twitter later for it.

gojo: it’s fine, as long as i’m trending who cares what it’s about.

y/n: i can see the headlines already... ‘gojo satoru, top sorcerer, favoured teacher at jujutsu high and big narcissist’

you smile smugly at the man as he laughs along with you with the camera crew from behind.

gojo: yeah yeah whatever you say, but if i had to answer honestly, i’d say what energy they give off. i don’t let it bother me too much, but i’d say i’m pretty good at judging what someone’s like based off of what energy they’re giving out.

y/n: i’m shocked, that’s a pretty good answer... for you anyway.

gojo: i try my best for you.

y/n: mhm sure, keep that attitude next time we’re working together and maybe we’ll finish jobs quicker.

gojo snickers and smiles gently at you, his direction is no longer faced towards the camera, but rather solely directed at you as you clear your throat.

y/n: yeah anyway, good answer. that might just get you uncancelled.

gojo: i haven’t even been cancelled yet don’t speak it into existence!

y/n: i’ll ‘try my best for you’

you’re both smiling softly at each other after you mock one of gojo’s previous replies, there’s no speech cut off as a comfortable silence rests for a moment as the scene cuts.

y/n: okay, i want genuine answers only.

gojo: that’s what i’ve been giving you from the start!

you jokingly narrow your eyes at him before looking down at the next card.

y/n: well okay then, so, what was the first thing you noticed about me when we first met?

gojo: unusually bold question from you.

y/n: just shut up and answer, i was recommended to ask this.

gojo: sure, sure.

y/n: would you please just answer so we can get this over with?

gojo sighs dramatically and sits up properly and nods.

gojo: naturally, for anyone else i would say energy but for you, ah, i think it was your pretty face.

y/n: shut up, i said genuine answers only.

gojo: i am being genuine! aren’t i allowed to call you pretty?

y/n: you aren’t allowed to answer falsely, serious answers please.

gojo: you make me sound like i’m down bad, honestly, you’re very attractive to me, your energy was just a bonus, i’m serious, stop doubting yourself so much.

he smiles your way, not playfully nor forced, it’s a soft and genuine smile to calm your nerves, it’s a sign of truthfulness on his end. before you answer he clears his throat, slight hurry in his voice.

gojo: -of course, we were younger back then, since then you’ve gotten wrinkles and is that a few grey hairs i see? you also slouch-

y/n: -okay okay you can stop!

the two of you laugh as you gently kick his chair, the fact you’re being recorded and being watched by a whole camera crew totally forgotten about.

y/n: okay, last question finally!

gojo: admit you had fun with me.

y/n: i see you everyday, today was nothing special.

gojo: you wouldn’t say we’ve bonded more over this interview?

y/n: you’re still as irritating as before this interview so no.

you grin and gojo scoffs before shuffling in his chair a little before a sly smile draws across his face.

gojo: go on then, last question.

y/n: would you sl-

gojo: go on, ask it, we’re waiting.

gojo is leaning on the palm of his hand, teasing smile playing on his lips and y/n stares at the card in disbelief.

y/n: you definitely wrote this! i would never ask this! there’s been a mistake with the cards or something

camera man: ah no, they’re all the questions that were on your form you sent in prior to the interview, these are the questions you apparently wanted to be asked. sorry, you’ll have to make do.

y/n: i’m not asking that.

gojo: come on now, don’t upset your supportive fans.

y/n: i know you wrote this, you’re so infuriating!

you glare at him but not with complete hostility, the situation slightly humorous to you despite your protests.

gojo: i mean well.

gojo shrugs as you sigh and stare at the card before speaking.

y/n: fine then have it your way. would you... would you sleep with me?

gojo: how brave! asking me on camera in the middle of an interview! how could i dare say no!

gojo is laughing along with the camera crew as you fight back a smile, refusing to admit his interference was entertaining.

y/n: at least take me out for dinner first.

gojo: now you’re asking me to take you out? you’re really bold today aren’t you!

y/n: oh shut up! i didn’t mean it like that! this is totally your fault it’s awkward now.

you’re grinning at this point not caring that your flirtatious banter with gojo is being recorded and is soon to be edited and posted for the world to see.

gojo: i mean, i’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you?

y/n: what? no, i- this wasn’t even a serious question shut up!

gojo: i’ll shut up if you let me take you out... and maybe then i’ll sleep with you after if that’s your request.

y/n: i can’t stand you!

gojo: but you do everyday, that must count for something right?

y/n: i hate you.

gojo: quite the contrary, i’m sure i’ll get you to admit that by tomorrow though.

y/n: ...i’ll be waiting on it then.

the two of you are smiling at each other, laughter dying down as you once again softly kick gojo’s chair. he pays no mind to it as a moment of fondness occurs, viewers clearly able to see the evident bond between the two of you.

y/n: okay well... that concludes our face-to-face, GQ interview, thanks for watching and putting up with him!

gojo: maybe we’ll come back to do an interview about our date after i take you out, who knows, maybe i’ll get to ask you to rate me in bed!

y/n: gross. you sound like a fifteen year old boy.

gojo: am i at least a hot one?

y/n: i refuse to catch a case.

gojo cackles as you laugh too, the camera fades out with the scene of the two of you softly smiling at each other as the interview concludes.

[flareish]

Anxiety

kuroo x reader

summary: you hide your anxiety from basically everyone including your boyfriend, until he finds out for himself

genre: hurt/comfort

warnings: Emetophobia Warning! description of nausea/vomit, anxiety, bit of angst but ends in fluff

word count: 2.0k

a/n: I tried to make this as close to my anxiety since I hadn’t known anyone with my kind of anxiety(symptom wise) until I was seventeen, which was a good ways into when I realized I had anxiety. So here is some nausea anxiety representation!

masterlist

You tap your fingers in a mindless rhythm. Alternating the fingers and repeating them back and forth, trying to make it a game, a challenge. You did this over and over again to distract yourself from that all too familiar sinking feeling. That feeling like your stomach has managed to twist and knot itself a million times. Each bump of the bus made acid crawl up your throat. You crunched a mint in your mouth hoping the peppermint would soothe some of the nausea. It didn’t, but the thought was there. You just will yourself not to throw up on the bus, anything but that. The thought in itself makes you even more nervous, and in turn even sicker.

You don’t even know why you are anxious. Today is Kuroo’s big game, but it isn’t yours. You’ve been to a hundred of his games before but never before did you feel like this. Normally you get cute little butterflies, not an angry swarm of bees. The worst part is, there is Kuroo sat next to you happy as can be, completely oblivious. He keeps trying to drag you into conversations but you fear if you open your mouth for too long, all that will come up is vomit. So you keep your mouth firmly closed only smiling tightly or shaking your head at his prompts.

It's not exactly his fault though. He doesn’t actually know you have anxiety. It’s not something you really like to talk about. You are all for promoting the acceptance of mental health but you just find every time you tell someone the dynamic changes. Either they flat out don’t believe you since you “don’t seem like the type with anxiety”. Well duh, I don’t have social anxiety, I have situational anxiety. Like here in this situation. That or they suddenly treat me like I am incapable of handling myself. That whenever a slightly stressful event comes up, I am going to melt into a puddle of pure anxiety. Sorry but I’ve made it this far, I may have to throw up a few times on the way but I am still making it. 

So you just haven’t told Kuroo. You're just nervous that it will change the dynamic. You also don’t want to steal his spotlight. Today is supposed to be all about him. It's his big game. To suddenly speak up and tell him that his game is giving you anxiety would be selfish. So like you always have, you put a brave face on and face it head-on.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kuroo asks you, now facing you, “You look a little pale.”

“Hmm?,” You also turn to look at him, “Oh I am just a bit tired that’s all. I will be fine in an hour or so.” You hope at least. He nods relieved it's not something worse. 

You finally pull into the stadium and everyone is pushing their way off the bus. Luckily Kuroo is right by you to make sure you don't get accidentally pushed down the bus stairs and trampled. The team makes it’s to the bulletin board where they are given their matchups. Nekoma is paired with a pretty hard team. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you dry heave. You knew at the point you were going to throw up and within the next few minutes. 

“Hey I think I left something in the bus I’ll be right back.” You say to Kuroo before dashing off. He goes to reply but you are already gone. 

You make it around the back of the building before you throw up. At this point you’re kinda out of it, your mind is occupied on emptying your already empty stomach. Then you feel someone pull your hair back and gently rub your back. You don’t even have to look up to know it’s Kuroo. When you finish he hands you his water bottle.  You waterfall it and rinse your mouth out of that acidic taste. 

“What’s going on are you okay?” Kuroo asks full of concern. You hesitate for a moment, thinking of telling the truth. Then you remember this is supposed to be his day. 

“Sorry I must have caught a stomach bug.” He doesn’t completely buy it so you quickly add to it.

“I didn't feel great on the bus but I just thought it was because I was tired.” You feel bad lying, “I also don’t want to distract you before your game.” At that Kuroo quickly pulls you into a hug, “Your not a distraction, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Your cheek is pressed against his chest and your hands grip the front of his shirt. 

“We should probably head back.” You mumble.

“Yeah.” He leans down to kiss you but you duck away. He looks incredibly offended and hurt at this.

“Dude I just threw up I don’t know if you want to do that.” 

“…Point.”

The two of you head back inside to the team, you feeling much better after throwing up. Before you know it, the competition has begun and Nekoma has won. You run down and celebrate with the team and it’s a happy day.

On the bus ride home Kuroo has a strange energy about him. Not like he’s mad more just like he’s just realized something. You nudge him and smile hoping to break him out of his little funk. He immediately smiles back and goes back to celebrating with the team. His reaction was almost like putting a mask on. You watch him for a moment before slipping into a conversation of your own.

When you make it back to school you go your separate ways. Him going to shower, and you to get home before it gets too late. A big hug before pushing away. You still refusing to kiss him after throwing up earlier in the day. 

You are laying on your bed, exhausted. Anxiety really takes a toll on your energy. Your thoughts are broken when your phone chimes with a text.  Leaning over to grab your phone off your bedside table you see it is from Kuroo. 

“Can you come over? I want to talk.”

No cute pet names. No slowly easing into it. Actually using proper grammar. Nothing in that message was a good sign. Just “I want to talk” was enough to make the acid begin to crawl again. You knew it had to be about today. Especially after you saw him zoning out on the bus. It had to be your anxiety episode. You knew he wouldn’t be happy you lied but going to this extent. Like he just found out you have anxiety and this is what he hits you with? The world’s most nerve-wracking text message. The only worse place than this would be “we need to talk”. That’s when you have really screwed up. So maybe you’ve only minorly screwed up since he said want not need. Does that mean you have the choice to say no? That was kind of tempting but you knew you would be tossing and turning all night thinking about what might be wrong. 

“Okay.” You reply to the text. Short and sweet. Putting on some shoes and grabbing a hoodie, you quietly slip out of your house. Kuroo’s house wasn’t too far but it was far enough. Enough to continue to stir in your intrusive and unstoppable thoughts. You eventually make it to his house and head in going straight for his room. Before you reach the door you hesitate and gather yourself. Preparing for whatever was about to come. 

When you go in you find Kuroo sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the bed. He jerkily looks up and you and gives you a tight smile. None of this is giving good signs. Something is very heavy on his mind. You sit down across from him, your back against the wall your feet almost touching. 

“So what was it you wanting to talk about.” You break the silence. He doesn’t respond for a moment. Just as you are about to try again he speaks up.

“Do you still love me?” Your face drops into confusion.

“Why wouldn’t I love you anymore?” You ask, suddenly realizing this wasn’t the conversation you were prepping yourself for. 

“You’ve been distant lately. You don’t tell me things like when you don’t feel good. I thought about it when I got home and I was wondering if you weren’t actually sick but just making the excuse because you got caught.” He’s very serious at the moment and his words hold a cold edge. 

“What do you mean get caught?” You match his tone. You weren’t planning on fighting but something about how he said it just set something off in you.

“You didn’t want to be there. Ever since this morning you were quiet and reserved. Even after the game, you wouldn’t even kiss me-”

“Yeah, cause I threw up! And how could I be faking it when I literally threw up.” You snap.

“You’ve been like this before though! Like last year’s big tournament you would barely talk to me.”

“That’s not true!” Although it kind of was just not the reason he thought.

“Oh yeah? What about at training camp you wouldn’t talk to me then either, you didn’t even eat with us you just sat on your own.” He threw back.

“Yeah, cause I have anxiety!” The words left your mouth before you knew it. Kuroo looked taken back.

“What?” His brow furrows, “Since when?” He’s not sure what to believe. You’re not surprised since you have worked very hard to hide it from everyone, accidentally sabotaging your own relationship without even knowing it. 

“Since forever. I just never told anyone.” You quietly say, ducking your head down.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You didn’t even need to look up to see the hurt on his face, it was apparent in his voice. You start playing with your finger, tapping them in rhythms.

“I wanted to,” You mumble, “But whenever I do stuff changes and I didn’t want anything to change.” He shifts forward and you think he’s going to leave. Instead, he grabs your hands, stopping the pattern you had going. You look up.

“Did you think I would judge you?” He was staring straight into you, willing the truth to come out.

“Whenever I tell people they either don’t believe me and brush it off or treat me like I’m incapable of handling any amount of stress. I’ve never seen anyone react any differently so I was scared you would fall into one of those reactions and I didn’t know how I could handle that. I didn’t want my anxiety to be the thing to tear us apart. But I guess it still was.” By the end of your speech, your gaze has returned back to the floor, unable to hold eye contact for that long with him staring at you so strongly. You hear him sigh then you are pulled forward and into his arms. 

“I want to be your pillar of support. I want to be that third reaction that is one of acceptance, one that doesn’t drive you crazy.” He strokes your hair soothingly, his words making you tear up, “When you are ready I want you to tell me everything. From when you first noticed it, to where it is now, to how you deal with it, everything.” By now you are fully crying, absolutely collapsed into his chest. “I love you so much.” It gets muffled in his shirt but he hears it.

“I know, and I love you.”

It would take some time for Kuroo to get used to this change but slowly but surely he will be different from the rest and he will support you no matter what. Although he also respects your strength and knows you can handle your anxiety on your own, he is always there when you need it. He becomes the third unexpected and unheard-of reaction; acceptance.

[inkandpen22]

The Princess and The Pogue (Pt. 9)

Pairing: JJ x Reader / Topper x Reader

Word Count: 3.0k

Warnings: swearing, mild smut, angst, fluff

Part Summary: Y/N goes to see JJ after the party and she begins to think everything will work out

Masterlist

The Pogues are gathered around the bonfire, chatting over a couple of beers and joints. JJ keeps checking his phone every few minutes, wondering why you haven't texted him yet. You agreed for him to pick you up at your house at eleven, but he wants to wait for your text saying you're home. He's considered just going over anyway, assuming you're already there since dinner would've ended at least two hours ago. Before he has the chance to even rise to his feet to go, you and Topper roll up the driveway. None of the Pogues recognize the gray BMW, except Sarah. 

“Is that Topper dropping off Y/N?” She frowns in confusion as the car comes to a steady halt at the end of the gravel drive. 

Pope presses his fingers to his temples, wide-eyed. “Am I hallucinating?” 

“Okay, enough weed for me," Kiara declares, passing the joint to John B. 

Topper stops the car and turns to you. “You’ll be okay?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” you nod, collecting your bag between your legs. 

“Call or text if you need me,” he instructs, still somewhat reluctant to drop you off. 

“Will do,” you offer him a reassuring smile. 

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow," he complies, leaning over the divider and planting a quick peck to your cheek. “Love you.” 

“Love you too,” you return, granting him a kiss on the cheek as well. You climb out of Topper's car, walking toward the fire pit where JJ and everyone watch you utterly dumbfounded. “Hi guys,” you greet, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

“Topper knows his way around The Cut?” John B pokes fun. 

“Did he drop you off to scope out the place?” Kiara grumbles. 

“He didn’t want me driving," you explain as you take a seat next to a silent JJ. "We went to Kelce’s for a little after dinner and I’ve been drinking." 

“What a gentleman,” Sarah mumbles sarcastically. 

“Hi Baby,” JJ greets you with a soft smile, wrapping his arm around your waist. 

“Hi,” you grin, leaning in and planting a kiss to his lips to which he reciprocates. 

“I could’ve picked you up,” he whispers against your lips. 

“I know," you state, parting from him for a second. "I just didn’t want to make you do the drive." 

“I’m surprised Topper let you out of the car,” Sarah snickers. 

“We came to an understanding,” you describe vaguely. 

“Oh yeah?" Kiara raises a brow. "What’s that?” 

“We’re just friends,” you reply confidently. 

“I don’t just kiss my friends goodbye...” John B mumbles under his breath. 

“We’re just friends," you reiterate, starring the boy down warningly. 

“You bet you are,” JJ agrees, pulling you into his side. “I missed you today.” 

“I missed you too," you blush, peering over to meet his gaze. 

“Movie anyone?” John B suggests suddenly rising to his feet. 

“Yes!” Sarah bursts. 

“Comedy!” Pope votes. 

“Romance!” Kiara challenges. 

“Actually," JJ sighs, standing up next to you. "I was going to head to bed, wanna come?” He asks as he glances down at you.

You hum. “Yeah, I’m pretty tired actually." 

____________________________________________

You and JJ lay in bed, facing each other as you talk about everything under the sun. You could've watched the movie considering you've been up for hours talking, not once trying to fall asleep. Yet, spending hours laying in bed, talking to JJ, is a much better pass time. 

“Fish tacos from The Wreck,” JJ answers without a moment's hesitation. 

“Ooo, you know I’ve never been there,” you confess, intrigued. 

“Really?!" JJ's eyes grow wide. "We’ll have to go ASAP! Kie’s dad makes the best hush puppies,” he dramatically gestures with his hands. 

You giggle, “sounds amazing.” 

“Okay, now your turn." JJ's arm drapes over you and rubs his hand up and down your back. 

“Hmm," you hum, thinking it over. "My grandma’s chicken and dumplings. She always made it when I was sick and it’s like a warm hug.”

“Yum," he grins. “Dream vacation?”

“Anywhere with a beach,” you answer easily. “I love to travel, but I also love the ocean so can’t be too far from it. You?”

“Surfing trip around the world," he nods, clearly having thought about it before. "I’m talking Australia, Japan, Brazil, all over.”

“Surfing world tour. Very surfer Pogue of you,” you tease playfully. 

“Would a Kook Princess like to come?” He offers with a sly smirk as his eyes fall to the small space between you. 

“Sure I’ll follow,” you accept with a soft smile. 

JJ jokingly nudges you on the shoulder with a slight blush to his cheeks. “Stop," he chuckles. "If anything you pick the places and I follow. Follow you around the world.”

“You would?” You narrow your eyes at him with a smirk. 

“What’s that Carol King song?” He tries to recall and whispers some of the words. “Where you lead...”

“I will follow," you add in a sing-songy tone. 

“Anywhere!” You both say in unison to each other, causing you two to laugh. 

JJ exhales deeply, catching his breath after laughing.“Talking to you is so easy it’s scary," he confesses, taking your hand in his between you two. 

“I never felt so understood until I met you,” you tell him. 

His brows scrunch together as he watches your hands move around one another. “You don’t think Topper understands you?”

“I do... to an extent,” you shrug, not fully convinced. “He’s known me longer, so he knows why I am the way I am, but he’s not necessarily accepting of all of it.”

“What do you mean?” JJ wonders aloud.  

“If I told him that I don’t want to go to every party and rather stay in, he’d wonder why. If I said I don’t like the Club and rather spend a day on some remote island somewhere he wouldn’t relate. I could tell you that I want to move to Guam and you’d be game for it. Some days I don’t want to have any responsibilities or social obligations which confuses Topper. He’s satisfied where he is. He’s satisfied being stationary and though I’m told I have everything, I don’t want any of it." You pause, finding yourself coming to a hard conclusion. You peer up at JJ who's eyes have left your hands and pour into you. "There has to be more right? There has to be something different out there.”

“Life beyond the OBX?" He seek to clarify to which you nod. "Yeah, there’s an entire world outside of here!”

“That’s what I want..." You whisper. "Something entirely my own and somewhere where no one knows me.” 

“Maybe we should explore it together,” he smiles gently with content. “I mean, as long as it’s okay for one person to know you.” 

“You don’t count," you blush. 

JJ releases your hand, bringing his own to caress your cheek. “I want to see the world with you." 

You lean into his touch, his warmth making you feel safe, seen, and understood. “I think that can be arranged...”

JJ shakes his head, as though he's come to a profound realization. “You’re everything to me." His words slip by in a whisper as he leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your lips, sealing his statement. 

You run your fingers through JJ's hair, pulling him in deeper. He smiles against your lips, loving your reaction. He moves to hover over you, encompassing you with his body. You take matters into your own hands and press JJ down to lay down beside you. Swiftly, you move to straddle him. A grunt leaves him and you cower slightly. 

"Did I hurt you?!" You nearly panic. 

“No, no,” he’s quick to assure you, bringing his hand to your face and brushing your hair back. 

You hadn’t noticed when he got into bed, the bruises and cuts scattered across his torso. You remember them from the Boneyard and in the hot tub. You had thought perhaps they were from Topper. 

JJ can tell that your mind isn’t satisfied. "What else is troubling you?" He frowns. "Babe, look at me, please."

"If these weren't Topper, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it,” he scrunches his face with a shake of the head. “Don't worry, it's taken care of,” he tries to change the subject, reaching up to kiss you. 

You gasp. "Did someone do this to you?!" You quickly realize. 

"Y/N..."JJ exhales deeply. 

"JJ, I have to know!” You argue. “If someone-"

"It was my dad okay!" He confesses. 

You heart sinks has the dark reality hits you like a ton of bricks. 

"He... he gets mad sometimes..."JJ describes, looking anywhere but you. He begins to fidget with the hem of your shirt. When... When things weren’t good between us... I picked a fight with him. It was stupid. I shouldn't have done it, but I did! I think I wanted it. At least then I could control the pain,” he explains, killing you.

You lean down and plant a gentle, comforting kiss to his lips. When you pull back, JJ stares at you, stunned by the action. You swallow hard as you slide down, keeping eye contact with him as you plant a kiss to his bruised peck. JJ’s heart begins to race as he watches you. You continue on your path to his multicolored rib. JJ’s hand brushes over the top of your head gently. Your fingers curl under the hem of his boxers as you leave a trail of kisses over his cut and bruised stomach. 

"Y/N..." He breathes heavily as his eyes fall shut. 

"Never again,” you tell him warningly as a demand. “You never go back there. Here, Kie's, Pope's, my place, anywhere else but there. Morning, noon, or night, you need a place, come to me. You hear me?"

JJ nods, too consumed in you to voice anything. 

"I see marks like these on you again, I'll kill him and they won't find the body. I've seen enough crime documentaries. I can be like Liam Nison in Taken,” you joke slightly. 

"I'm sure you could," JJ smirks, peering down at you. 

You lift yourself up to hover just above his face. You cup his cheeks, making him look you in the eyes. "I'm never going to leave you, ever! You never have to suffer alone again. I promise. Your pain is my pain. Whatever you inflict on yourself you also do on me."  

"I promise too. You're my world, Y/N,” he tells you and you know he means it. “You're my life now."

Suddenly, there's a ruckus coming from outside in the hall. The sound of the screen door slamming against the frame and shouting. 

“Hey! Hey! Hey! I’ll go get her! You stay here!” You hear John B yell. 

“Like I’d listen to you!” Another voice barks. 

You break from JJ, trying to listen. “What’s going on?” 

“I don’t know,” he frowns, peering over at the door. He climbs off of you and slips out of the bed. He grabs a t-shirt from the chair in the corner and pulls it over his head, his boxers still slightly exposed. 

“JJ, be careful!” You beg, worried that it could be someone looking for trouble. 

"I will, Baby. It's okay," he promises, heading toward the door to check it out. 

“Cool off Topper!” Pope shouts before you hear a bang. 

“Topper?” You mumble in disbelief, flying off the bed and toward the door.

“Y/N!" JJ grabs your wrist as you open the door. "Baby, wait!” 

Before he has the chance to stop you, you stumble into the hallway. JJ rushes out of the bedroom, nearly running into you. Standing at the end of it, in the archway of the living room, Topper turns his attention away from the Pogues. His eyes land on you and a wave of relief consumes him. 

“Y/N...” Your name falls from his parted lips faintly. 

“Topper...” You stand frozen. 

“There is almost an equal Kook to Pogue ratio in this house and I don’t like it,” Pope huffs from behind Topper. 

“I need to talk to you," the tall blonde announces urgently. 

You speed walk down the hall, despite JJ's efforts to stop you. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, I just... I... uh...” Topper stutters, nervously avoiding your gaze, and focuses on the small floor space between you. 

“Have you been drinking again?" You question, coming to the conclusion he has. He smells of beer and weed, more than he did hours ago. "Did you go back to Kelce’s!” 

“I was losing my mind, Y/N!" He bursts, uncharacteristically, causing you to jump and JJ to step forward toward you. "I needed a distraction, but nothing was working!” Topper explains in a rush, all fidgety. “Can we just go somewhere to talk?” 

JJ immediately steps in, moving to stand between the two of you. “You’re not going anywhere with her!” 

“Oh shove it,” Topper snaps at JJ. 

“You forget you’re on my side of the island, Kook!” JJ barks, shoving Topper in the chest. 

“Enough!” You scream, pressing a palm to each of their chests. “For Pete’s sake!” 

“Back off JJ!” Kiara yells. 

“I just need to talk to you,” Topper pants. 

You exhale deeply, glancing between JJ and Topper. You know JJ won't approve and won't allow it without a fight, but you agree to speak with Topper. “Okay, let’s go outside.” 

JJ laughs, pacing around. “You can’t be serious-” 

“Ten minutes!” You shout at him, escorting Topper toward the door. 

“She sure told you,” Topper mocks JJ as he backs up to the exit. 

“Oh shut up,” you grumble, urging Topper through the doorway leading to the front yard. 

You and Topper settle down on the hammock, swinging back and forth on the edge, side by side. The sun has long since set and the lights in the large tree illuminate the yard. Unable to sit still, Topper rises from his spot and paces in front of you. 

“What’s going on Topper?” You ask worriedly. 

The boy stops, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck nervously. “I’m losing my mind, Y/N!" He finally breaks his silence. "I feel like there are weights strapped to me and I’m being pulled to the bottom of the ocean, struggling for air!” He rushes out in a pant. “I’ve been an arrogant ass and too scared to pay attention, but now I’m just scared and I’m afraid if I don’t tell you this now that I’ll never get a chance like this again!” 

You stand, taking his hands in yours. "Just take a deep breath!" 

He yanks his hands free of your hold, running his fingers through his hair as he paces away. "I'm about to be the most selfish person on the planet!" 

“Topper, just say it! It can't be that bad!" You try to reassure him, the pit in your stomach growing with each passing minute. You can only assume the worst. 

“I love you!” Topper bursts out, meeting your gaze pleadingly. 

A weight lifts off your shoulder. You thought it was something bad. “That's it? I love you too,” you laugh lightly. 

“No!" He stops you. "Not the way you mean it... it’s not the same! I love you!” 

Neither of you notice the Pogues hiding in the enclosed patio, watching everything go down. 

“I knew it!” Pope announces from his spot by the window. 

“Pay up!” Kiara holds out her hand to John B. 

JJ's heart sinks when he hears the confession leave Topper. He wants to run for the hills, but he can't help but observe you stand there in shock. 

Topper's chest rises and falls rapidly. “I didn’t realize it fully until I dropped you off and saw you with him. I know what I said earlier, that I’m okay with this!" The words fly out of him like a freight train going full speed. “But I’m not! I’ve been in love with you for two years! Before Sarah, during Sarah, after her!” 

“Okay ouch...” Sarah mumbles from her spot on the patio. 

“I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, I’ve just been too caught up in everything else to notice!" Topper's voice cracks with emotion. 

"You tell me this now!" You shout, growing more frustrated with each passing second. 

He sighs, "I know, I know, I'm sorry-" 

"No! You don't get to apologize!" You snap at him, utterly pissed off and frankly hurt. "You could've had me! You had me, Topper!" You correct as your eyes begin to swell with tears. "You had every opportunity to change the status quo and you didn't! You let me feel like a toy, there to satisfy you when you needed company! Yes, it was fun! Yes, it was great sex! Yes, I fed into the holding and touching, even when you and Sarah were on a break because I thought..." You swallow hard, processing what you're about to say. "Because I thought that eventually, you'd love me!" You break, tears falling down your cheeks. You finally let go of a truth you've been holding in for years now. "If I kept sleeping with you that one day you'd realize that we were more than just friends! Everyone else thought it! But you were caught up on Sarah and then it became not letting Sarah be with John B! I had to break it off after Bermuda because it was killing me! I couldn't take it anymore! I had to begin to move on!" 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot!" Topper rushes up to you, taking your hands in his pleadingly. "Tonight, feeling you again, I saw the rest of our lives and I want it! I don’t give a shit about our friends or golfing or the Club or Sarah because none of it matters if I don’t get to experience it with you!” He begs, “so pick me! Be with me! Love me!” 

You whimper, unsure of what to do or say. Everything is happening so fast. 

"You slept with him?" 

You turn over your shoulder to find JJ standing just a few feet away. His eyes glisten under the lights of the tree. He swallows hard, taking your silence as enough of an answer. He nods his head, pressing his lips together to hold back his emotions.

“You’re exactly as everyone says!” He yells, pointing at you aggressively. 

In a second, he's sprinting away down the gravel drive. You step forward, ready to run after him, but Topper grabs your wrist. 

"Y/N, don't!" He pleads. 

You yank your wrist free, before running him. "JJ!" You call, "JJ wait!" 

"Y/N!" Topper shouts, running after you. 

"JJ!" You beg for him to stop. 

"Y/N, wait!" Topper grunts, sprinting. 

"JJ!" You struggle to keep up with the boy. Soon, he disappears into the dark woods across the street and you have no choice but to halt, losing all hope. 

You fall to your knees on the gravel. The sound of Topper's feet hitting the gravel quickly approaching. You slam your fists to the ground with a scream, hitting your boiling point. How much is a girl expected to take? 

______________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly@cc13723things@hockeybabe87 @jolomez @plutooryectors

[rayofsunas]

valentine | diluc [4] finale

A/n: excuse my little break, lol. I’ve been busy with homework and life tbh, but I’m back!! thanks to those of you who checked in and reassured me breaks are necessary, you really made me feel better thank you <333 andddd, this last chapter whoop whoop! I had so much fun with this, I’m kinda sad ;-; but I’m really excited to start my next mini-series hehe. I’m not sure who I’m going to do next, but I’m leaning towards scaramouche or xiao hmm. let me know what you guys think!! I hope you’re having a beautiful friday/day wherever you are! stay safe <333

Summary: the ever so stoic diluc thought he was being secretive when sending anonymous letters and gifts to you during the week of valentine’s day but turns out everyone in mondstadt knew it was him, though thankfully had tight enough lips to not spill the beans to you. kaeya is of no help, so you go seeking answers yourself.

Parings: Diluc/Fem! Reader (for my other mini-series, there will be some gn ones!)

Warnings: valentines (yes, I’m late, shoot me), fluff, swearing, OOC DILUC BECAUSE I CAN’T WRITE FOR HIM (you’ve been warned)

Word count: 4.9k (omg- I’m so proud of this chapter too, enjoy!)

Kaeya was the younger brother of Master Diluc. The anonymous man writing to you said he’d had a brother, you assumed younger and now that you knew which was the older of the pair, everything was pointing to the man being Master Diluc.

You couldn’t lie you were frazzled. Could it really be Master Diluc writing to you? You of all people? You weren’t special in any way, no matter how many times Victoria praised you for your intelligence and skills. You didn’t feel so smart right now though, seeing as though Master Diluc had completely slipped your mind as being the writer; you felt ignorant. 

Now that you were walking quietly behind Master Diluc, it made sense. The encrypted words, expensive and thoughtful gifts; Cecilia’s, Qingxin imported specially from Liyue, hell you were even gifted a gorgeous silver bracelet, a red jewel in the center that looked very similar to Diluc’s vision dangling by his left thigh. And although both Captain Kaeya and Master Diluc were well off in terms of Mora, it was your understanding that Diluc was the wealthiest person in Mondstadt, he could afford such commodities anytime he wished.

Should you ask him or would you just embarrass yourself? 

No, you should respect his wishes... If he was in fact the anonymous man, he’d wanted to stay that way for reasons he’d already stressed to you. The least you could do to return the favor was respect his decision and not force him to come clean... No matter how curious you were. 

By the time you were at the Knights headquarters - you have your own place, headquarters is just better to sleep it when you have early mornings - the cool night breeze had set in as well as the silver, twinkling stars. You stood awkwardly at your door, eyes frantically looking anywhere but those red hues. Master Diluc seemed to also be doing the same much to your comfort. At least he was feeling similarly to you. 

“I hope this doesn’t get you in any kind of trouble.” Master Diluc suddenly said, hand sheepishly going to scratch the back of his neck. 

You tilted your head, confused. “Hmm?” 

He blinked at you, eyes going wide for a minute; embarrassment it seemed. “Do Knights not have strict curfews anymore?” He asked. 

Ah, the curfew rule. You had been a young Knight when that was implemented, though, in recent years, it had fizzled down to nothing really. All thanks to a few rule-breakers, a few years back. Then rule had been made for Knights, Captains, everyone. Though now it mostly applied to Knights in training, obviously no one followed the rule. 

“Oh, no, the rule was changed a while back,” You said. “Young Knights in training kept ignoring the curfew and it became a hassle for the Captains to go search them during bed checks at headquarters, they pulled an invisible plug.” A look of distaste appeared on the young man's face, you frowned in response.  

“Of course,” He muttered. “Inefficiency at its best.” You watched silently as he folded his arms across his chest and looked off into the distance to his left. He seemed to be trying to control his anger and irritation, or at least keep it locked down in front of you. Though he was failing, the scowl was evidence on his handsome face. And almost as soon as the words had come out of his mouth, he’d seemed to have regretted it. He snapped his head back to look at you and rushed to apologize. 

“I’m sorry, I meant no disrespect-”

You waved a hand out in the air interrupting him. “I agree,” His face relaxed. You what? “The curfews helped us all be more responsible. There was less slacking off and rogue Knights, that’s for sure,” He watched in astonishment as you laughed it off as if he hadn’t just offended you and your fellow Knights.

“My Captain still follows the rules, to an extent. The trainees are required to live at headquarters, they can’t leave until they’re eighteen or get promoted to a higher position. Knights like me or higher, on the other hand, that rule doesn’t apply to us, unless there’s a far away commission the next morning.” You explained. Master Diluc seemed to visibly relax, you assumed he was glad to hear someone still followed the rules.

“Don’t tell my captain I said this, but he’s a real old-timer; that’s why he follows your rules.” You laughed again, a small smile formed on the redhead's face, you were surprised and caught off guard by that. 

“A good man.” He approved, you laughed again. Archons, was that music to his ears. 

“That he is.”  

Diluc enjoyed the silence settling in, that’s for sure. He only realized how late it had gotten until after he’d watched you yawn, eyes closing slightly as your body seemed to shrink with each inhale and exhale; you were tired, and no doubt had duties tomorrow. How ignorant of him to keep you up like this, even if he had more of a chance to speak with you and be in your presence. 

“I shouldn’t keep you any longer,” You heard him say, watching as he took a few steps back. “I’m sure you have a busy day tomorrow.”

That was partially true, you did have an early day tomorrow. You weren’t sure what your duties would be though, maybe paperwork, more training, a commission or two? You would check with your Captain. But jeez, why had things slipped your mind so easily today? 

“Yes... I nearly forgot.”

He chuckled, adding, “You seem to have forgotten a lot today.” You giggled tiredly. 

“I agree. I promise, I’m usually not like this,” You said. “I did have a question, but it’s quite late...”

A single eyebrow quirked up, he shifted to lean on one side, cockily almost. “So, you’ve remembered?” Shit. 

“Yes and no?” You replied, realizing, either way, you’d gotten yourself in a mildly sticky situation. 

Okay... At Dawn Winery, it had completely slipped your mind. But it seemed the fresh air and break from Victoria’s amazing story had helped you regain your memory. You remembered your question now, it was in bold, red words right in front of you. But you’d decided to not ask him, not until he came forward and revealed himself if he really was the anonymous man he would. Maybe you’d give it a week...?

“Interesting...” Diluc thought to himself, you cringed to yourself, fearful of being caught lying, he seemed to be onto you. “When you remember, will you come find me?” He teased. “Stop by for a drink one time; tea, wine, juice, anything. My mother really enjoyed your company...”

Master Diluc knew. He had to of known you were lying. He was far too intelligent to not know. 

“I- Sure.” 

-

Diluc had never thought he’d see you in his presence so soon, that’s for sure. He thought he’d only see you when he decided to confess, which he was still working on. He never thought he’d be walking you home, but you had been great company and what kind of man would he be if he let a woman walk home by herself? Even if you were a Knight. 

He was a bundle of nerves the whole way even after he arrived back home, to greet his mother was oddly still up. 

“Mother, you’re awake?” He asked, stepping into the house for the last time tonight, eyes scanning the room to see the fireplace lit and crackling, the older woman sitting on an armchair. And would you look here, his annoying brother was present as well. That caused Diluc’s face to crease in annoyance. “And you’re here. Why?” He spat, the Cavalry Captain rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t have a bedtime,” She teased, Kaeya smiling. Those two were like two peas in a pod once together, his mother was definitely the more reasonable and tolerant. “And leave your brother alone, it’s from my understanding that he helped you with that girl, Y/n.” 

Diluc rolled his eyes. Of course, Kaeya would tell their mother, but the real question was, had he told others? He definitely wouldn’t be surprised if the entirety of Mondstadt knew of his crush on you, all thanks to his annoying little brother. 

“It’s no one's business, but mine,” The wine tycoon snapped. Victoria’s face scrunched up in anger, eyes glaring daggers. “Sorry...” He apologized, moving around the couches and armchairs, to finally sit on the loveseat not occupied, his hands went to his face, elbows rested on his knees.

“So,” Kaeya started, earning a testing look from the woman across from him. A look of warning. “You walked her home, anything else happen?” Kaeya couldn’t help but smirk to himself.

“What’re you implying?” The eldest snapped. 

Kaeya shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know, did you maybe tell her, kiss her?” Victoria hissed, nearly launching herself over the arm of her chair to swat her youngest on the back of his head. He groaned in annoyance. 

“Not yet.”

“Are you going to?” The cryo user probed. 

Archons, Kaeya always had too many idiotic questions. Nosy bastard. Of course, he’d tell you, eventually.

“I’m working on it...” Kaeya chuckled to himself, Victoria just stared at the redhead with sadness. She felt bad, you were a great young woman, she saw that. Hell, she hadn’t even known you for an hour, but she already approved. She wanted this to work out for her eldest, he’d always been the one with the most burdens on his shoulders it seemed, he always picked up the entire world's troubles and carried them on strong shoulders. He deserved someone good, someone, like you. “Now, don’t you have better things to do? Like getting drunk? Go away.” He sounded like a child all over again, Victoria thought. He was unfolding right here, he was still her little boy after all. 

Kaeya frowned, seeing how bothered his brother seemed. An eye focused on Victoria who was mouthing for him to go upstairs, he decided to listen for once surprisingly. With less sass in his step, Kaeya found himself wandering towards the stairs and eventually disappearing up them.

As soon as the trouble maker was gone, Victoria shifted in her seat so she could fully face her eldest son. 

“Do you love her?” She suddenly asked, Diluc’s heart seemed to speed up significantly. “It’s alright if you’re not sure, I’ve been there many times-”

“Yes, I do.”

He watched with an embarrassed hue on his face as his mother smiled a genuine, bright smile. She was happy for him, proud, she approved. That’s all he’d wanted. He wishes his father could meet you, he’d like you, he was sure of it. 

“That’s great. I’m very happy for you,” She said proudly. “You should tell her. She’s a great woman, she’ll accept you with open arms.” She reassured though Diluc could only shake his head. 

“You cannot be so sure.” He mumbled sadly, Victoria clicked her tongue with the shake of her head, leaning forward in her seat. 

“I can,” She said, matter a factly. “She reminds me of myself when I was younger, though a little less reckless and in a much better headspace. She’s sure of herself I can tell, even though she looked quite frazzled in your presence; but all young women get like that around my sons.” The woman added with a teasing smile, Diluc just waved her off nonchalantly. He didn’t care about any other woman, you mattered most, above all. 

“You have nothing to worry about,” She reassured. “I’m not sure if her feelings are romantically driven, but I can tell she respects you a great deal. Poor thing though, she was so nervous she looked like a shaking leaf... I’ll have to help her feel more comfortable, after all, she might as well be my future daughter-in-law.”

Diluc nearly froze. Archons, his mother was something else... “Mother, I haven’t even told her I’m the one behind the letters-”

“Nonsense!” She said over excitedly. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about marrying her?” 

“Maybe even a family...?” He knew she was getting antsy for grandchildren, though he couldn’t understand why so soon. She wasn’t even in her fifties yet, and he and Kaeya were barely into adulthood. She’d had a hard enough time raising two helions at such a young age and then by herself after their father's death, so why was she resilient for him to start a family? He’d never understand mothers' need for grandchildren... 

“Marriage and children are two different things... I haven’t given much thought towards children,” He said honestly. “I always assumed I’d either be alone for life or marry for political reasons... Father had always said Jean was perfect for me,” Victoria frowned at his statement. “And children well... they don’t particularly like me.”

“Nonsense. I knew your father for ten years or so, and let me say, he’d be proud of whatever decision you make. Jean, Y/n- he just wanted you happy,” She explained wholeheartedly, words filled with sincerity. “And let me just say, no other child will look at you with such love and adoration, other than your own. They’ll hold you in the highest regards, then it won’t even matter if other kids like you or not. The only validation you’ll need is from your own child,” Her eyes glittered with joy, a smile forming on her beautiful face. “I can say that with one hundred and ten percent honesty and certainty, from experience with you and Kaeya.”

Diluc’s heart warmed at that. She always knew what to say and he always felt this great sense of pride from her whenever talking about being their mother. She enjoyed it so much, she was proud she’d taken the offer ten or so years ago, the best decision she’d ever made. 

“I much like your father, only want you happy. If being with Y/n without marriage or children makes you happy, then those things don’t matter to me.”

He flashed a warm smile, that nearly left her starstruck, nearly frozen like an icicle from Dragonspine. “Thank you, mother,” She nodded, cheeks flaring red. 

“I think one day... if things work out, I will ask her to marry me,” 

“And if she wanted children, I’d be alright with that too.”

“I’d do anything for her.”

-

“Captain, good morning.” You exclaimed walking into your Captain's office the next morning, taking note of how he was sitting behind his mahogany desk, reviewing what looked to be paperwork and a map in front of him. 

He briefly looked up, dark eyes meeting yours, before pointing to the seats opposite side of the desk. “Come take a seat, Knight.” You nodded following orders, falling into quick, silent steps, choosing to take a seat in the left chair. 

You waited for your orders, eyes staying trained on your Captain. He eventually spoke. “I see you’ve been making quick work of your commissions here in Mondstadt,” The older man noted, you just nodded, appreciating the praise. “Five a day and you’ve managed to fit in training for the younger Knights I see.”

“Yes, sir, I believe the daily training is important.” You admitted honestly. 

“Yes, it is,” He agreed, finally meeting your eyes only after he turned the map around so it was properly facing you. “Allow me to cut right to the chase,” You gulped nervously. Were you being blacklisted? Given a higher position, maybe Captain? What was going on? You slowed your brain, remembering he was going to explain to you what was going on in a moment. But that didn’t stop you from worrying. You were a capable Knight, your stats showed that you just hoped you weren’t being let go. 

Easing your nerves, your Captain began speaking again. “Acting Grand Master Jean has recently been notified that the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger, Childe, has stolen the Geo Archons’ Gnosis.” Your heart dropped to your stomach. Shock, fear, confusion was present in every form within you. Those names and titles sounded familiar, they weren’t unknown figures in Teyvat, not at all. It was a custom for all types of schooling in Teyvat to be educated on all seven of the Archons and nations, and groups such as the Fatui with their elite branch of soldiers, the Harbingers. Plus, as soon as the Knights in training passed the required tests and became official Knights, they would be taught separately from what was usually taught; learn about much rarer and dangerous types of monsters, learn every detail of the Eleven Fatui, about any assassins and people to be wary about on commissions and travels between nations.  

One question you had was why in the world were the Harbingers stealing the Archons Gnosis? You’ve heard that Lord Barbatos’ Gnosis had also recently been stolen by La Signora, Eighth of the Fatui Harbingers. So, what was the reason for the Geo Archons to be stolen as well? 

The more obvious answer to that question was they were probably stealing their powers to harness themselves. They were strong enough though, they would only be selfish to steal a literal god's Celestial power and take it for themselves. Greedy, you noted.

But you couldn’t be sure because one of Alchemy's prominent figures, an elder, who closely worked with Albedo in the past, had recently been kidnapped by a Scaramouche, Sixth of the Eleven Harbingers. Teyvat was lucky Albedo hadn’t been taken hostage, it was decided he would be under watch for now. 

You were seeing an obvious pattern here. A devious, worrying pattern. But now that an alchemist had been kidnapped and was under their care, maybe even lack thereof, one of the worst possible scenarios became evidently present and more aware. 

Alchemy could do many wonders, one is to make new forms of life; plants, animals, etc. If the pattern stayed true that they planned to be stealing all the Archons Gnosis was true, then they could possibly be creating an artificial army of sorts, with the usage of life forms created by Alchemy. This wasn’t good.

“This isn’t good.” You muttered, hand going under your chin in thought. Your captain nodded, though you missed it, too deep in thought. 

“You see the issue I presume then,” He said, you nodded in response. “Great. You’ll be a fast learner in the kind of environment you’ll be placed in.” You hummed, wondering what in the hell he was talking about.

“Acting Grand Master Jean and I, have cleared you to venture into Snezhnayan territory to gather intel.”

What? You’ve never traveled outside of Mondstadt, ever. Hell, you’ve never even been into Liyue, the closest nation to Mondstadt... Snezhnaya was very, very far away. Pretty dangerous territory, so you’ve heard. Even the locals had a hard time managing the severe storms and frigid cold. 

“Sir, I’ve never been to Snezhnaya before.” You explained, eyes filled with confusion. 

“Do not worry,” The man reassured. “You may take a small team with you if you please. The Knight’s cartographer, Maria, is very skilled at what she does, she’d be a great help,” He offered. You agreed, you’ve never met Maria personally, but she’d be a great help. “Any other cleared Knight, you may take with you on your journey,” You nodded. 

“But like all Knights, you’re exceptionally skilled in the medical field and your stats are practically off the chart; you’re an elite soldier, Knight. There’s a reason Acting Grand Master Jean requested you do this.” You froze, questioning your ability no longer. You would accept this mission without a fuss. Acting Grand Master Jean choose you for this mission specifically. She trusted you, she valued your skills and assets and was acknowledging them. This was any Knight’s dream. The man’s praise, no, Acting Grand Master Jean’s silent praise and approval meant worlds to you... You wished you had the time to thank her personally, but it was from your understanding you would need to leave immediately. 

“Thank you, sir,” He sent a firm nod your way. “I assume I would be leaving as soon as possible. So, could you pass my thanks and gratitude to the Acting Grand Master?”

He allowed a smile to spread across his aging face, head-nodding gently, though the smile had disappeared soon after. “I will.”

You bowed your head out of respect. “Thank you.” 

Your Captain continued to clue you in about the journey to Snezhnaya, that you would be sent as a spy since you’ve never had any run-ins with any of the Harbingers, therefore your job as a spy would be easier. He allowed you to pick a small team of your choosing, to accompany you into the cold. Though, reassured him you would manage fine with just Maria, the young cartographer. You didn’t want to burden anyone else, especially if this journey was much more trying and dangerous than originally thought. 

He came to a standing position, you mirrored his movements as he walked you to the door to see you out.

“I’m sorry to have to bring you this news before Valentine's day, I’m not sure if you wanted to spend the day with a loved one...” He trailed on, eyes filled with an apologetic tint. He was truly sorry to bear you this bad news of sorts, right before the day of love. You understood though, this was your duty. You wouldn’t complain because you had no reason to.

“I’m sorry to have to bring you this news before the day of love,” Ah Valentine's day... You’d completely forgotten that was coming up... “I’m not sure if you wanted to spend the day with a loved one...” He trailed on, eyes filled with an apologetic tint. He was truly sorry to bear you this bad news of sorts, right before the day of love. You understood though. 

“I had no plans, so it’s quite alright, sir,” You said turning to him as soon as you were standing under the door frame. “This mission is of the utmost importance. It’s my duty as a Knight to accept and complete the tasks asked of me.”

He nodded, hand raising to salute you, once he was done you mirrored him out of respect. “Very well put, Knight,” He praised again. “Safe travels on your journey, keep me updated with weekly reports.”

“I will, sir.”

-

As soon as you had left your Captain's office, you were quick to find the cartographer Maria, she’d be helping you find your way through Liyue and into Snezhnaya. 

It was to your knowledge that around this time of year, the snow in Snezhnaya was even thicker and harder to trudge through, you needed to leave as soon as you could.

Eventually, you found Maria in the library, grabbing various types of books and maps and throwing them into a large brown leather satchel. Great. It seems as though she had already been let in about the mission before you; you could get going much sooner.

Now, you were on your way to your own house to grab any necessities not left in your room at headquarters; clean clothes, Mora, etc. As soon as you made sure you had enough Mora to buy food or anything else you’d need along the way, and clothes for a warm journey, though making sure not to shoulder too much, you were on your way to the gates with Maria now at your side.

You didn’t make it far out of the gates of Mondstadt before you were being stopped, surprisingly by Master Diluc. 

He looked to be in a hurry, out of breath as he came running up to you and Maria. When he spotted the young woman at your side, your sword on your hip and backpack on your shoulders, he realized he might’ve caught you at a bad moment...

“Apologies, you seem to be on a mission...” He said meekly.

You waved your hand, smiling back at Maria who had wandered towards the gates to give you two privacy. Looking back at Master Diluc, you said, “No worries, I was just heading out.”

“May I ask where?” You tilted your head to the side, confused. He caught onto your confusion and clarified by saying, “I just wanted to tell you something,”

It must be important to come bounding after you like he just did, unfortunately, though you were leaving...

“Oh,” You glanced back at Maria waiting by the shared entrance and exit, face buried deep in a newly made map. “I’m actually headed somewhere important, I don’t think I’ll be back for a while,” You noticed his face drained paler than it already was, but you decided to ignore it. He probably wouldn’t clarify what that was about. “You could write me a letter and leave it on my windowsill for me for when I return-”

“I’m the one behind the letters.” He interrupted, face regaining color, but this time, his cheeks tinted red, matching none other than his wavy hair kept back in a ponytail.

Your heart stopped beating. “What...?”

“Please don’t make me repeat myself...” He whispered, glancing around. You followed his eyes silently, noticing people had begun to silently convene. 

You weren’t sure if they knew that he was the one behind the love letters. You assumed not.... they were probably just shocked to see the young wine tycoon out in public, nonetheless talking to a woman.

“Oh,” you said, ignoring that his face seemed to deepen in worry again. Unbeknownst to you, all Diluc could think was, she’s disappointed it’s me. Why else would she react that way? She hoped for someone else...

But you opened your mouth, and shared words that reassured him, made him feel less ashamed. “Thank you for telling me. I um- I’m very happy it’s you,” He glanced up from the ground, red eyes meeting yours. A genuine smile was on your face, and for once, a genuine smile came to his nature. “I’d secretly hoped it was you.” You admitted. Diluc’s heart fluttered with joy, he couldn’t describe the feelings and emotions that were currently present within him, he just knew they were so overwhelming, he’d only wanted to do one thing.

“May I kiss you?” He asked respectively. Your own heart began to flutter and do somersaults within your chest. 

Right here? Right now? In front of all these people? He was comfortable with that?

But you found yourself shyly whispering yes. 

And he did exactly that, he kissed you like a shy teen, quickly leaning in to peck your slightly dry lips (you wished you applied some lip balm before leaving your house, but you didn't know you’d be getting kissed by the most beautiful man in all of Teyvat) before pulling away bashfully. You giggled at that, ignoring the gasps of the woman, men, and few children - whose eyes were being covered by their mothers.

“I’m very happy to hear that you’re not disappointed it’s me.” He’d whispered against your lips before pulling away to stare at you. Archons, you wished he hadn’t pulled away soon. But the bright hue on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose made up for it. He’s so cute when he blushes, you thought.

Love, adoration, you couldn’t tell... But he seemed to be feeling it all and allowing it to shine brightly in his eyes. 

“I would never be, Master Diluc.” You replied, equally as starstruck as he appeared.

“Diluc is fine.” He reassured you, you stared at him in awe, before smiling. 

“Diluc...” You whispered to yourself, correcting what you'd said earlier. You would have to get used to calling him just Diluc, though dropping the title Master would be hard. It was what everyone called him.

“If it’s alright, I’d like to accompany you on your commission,” he said, shocking you for the second time today. 

“Really? You would seriously do that?” You asked, astonished. 

“Of course,” He started. “You can handle yourself, yes, but for my own sanity I would like to accompany you to make sure you’re safe.” He didn't belittle your skill, which you were thankful for. Many men, often ones in the military belittled your skill and claimed you needed assistance because you were a woman. You weren’t some fragile being, you were a Knight of Favonius. 

“Thank you...” You whispered, he seemed to understand immediately what the gratitude was for. 

“Are you ready?” You asked, noticing how he didn’t have any bags, just himself and his Claymore. “You don’t have any gear...” You noted.

“I’ll alright, that’s all I need if I’m with you.” He whispered so only you could hear, shyly reaching for your hand.

For a moment, you stood staring at his outstretched hand, wondering how in the world this had happened and when he became such a romantic. He’d been behind the letters the whole time and had kissed you?! Diluc would surely need to tell you the story of it all on your journey. You had a long way to Snezhnaya, soyou had time for the entire story. 

The only thing ingrained in your mind as you allowed his hand to encompass your own, was that you missed the touch of his lips on yours and greatly enjoyed his romantic admissions.

[🏷] TAGLIST (if you want to be removed from/added to this specific taglist let me know!)

@gladly-olus​ , @kyquu , @craptainlou , @mintydump , @chscklvr , @irisxiel , @minh0ree , @whatishappinesswhatislove , @rrintarou , @sorenthousand , @cvsmix , @nonniechan ,

3.12.21, rayofsunas

[imagine-darksiders]

Old Timer.

Chapter 3 - An Old Friend.

----

The maker's footfalls are almost lost beneath the swishing of long grass that sways and whispers in ripples all across the valley, swathes of moonlight turning their blades silver as they flow with the wind. Were it not for the rhythmic thuds sending tremors through your body and coinciding with each step he takes, you'd almost think he was gliding across the vale. You've never known a maker to walk so smoothly.

Unbeknownst to you, even he isn't sure if he's ever trodden so softly before.

Then again, when was the last time he'd held something in his hands that felt as though it might shatter at the slightest jolt or jostle? He can’t help thinking that all it would take is one trip, just one stumble and he might accidentally... A loud gulp disturbs the relatively peaceful walk, and though the sound of it garners your brief and curious gaze, the maker manages to cover it by clearing his throat and keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead.

Your skin feels like silk beneath his inelegant fingertips and it takes more conscious effort than he'd like to admit to refrain from letting his fingers wander up to your bare arms. Even having you pressed gingerly against his pectorals sends an unexpected shiver racing up his spine.

He can't help but beam proudly when he notices that your head is on a constant swivel, staring around at the hills and valley with a look of astonishment plastered on your face, which gets him wondering what in the world your realm must look like. He imagines it must be somewhere beautiful, to produce such beautiful people.

Chuckling warmly, he twitches his thumb against your hip and asks, “So, what're you doing in the Forge Lands anyway?”

He's rewarded by a fleeting glance from strikingly intricate irises. “That's... a long story,” you mutter.

The maker's chest rumbles with an intrigued hum. “My favourite kind!”

His enthusiasm proves contagious and after indulging him in a smile, you look skywards and reply, “Well, since you ask, I'm afraid I'm not exactly here on purpose.”

“You mean you didn't travel here just to get a taste of the local flavour?” he smirks, flashing you a wink.

In spite of yourself, your exasperated smile only grows. “Lewd. And, no, what I mean is... All right, what do you know about portals?”

Okay, so maybe he doesn't need to know that you've come from another time entirely, but perhaps there isn't any harm in telling him the manner in which you came to be here. You're aware that most species in Creation – Humanity notwithstanding – have utilised portals as a means of travel between the connected realms. An unconventional method of getting about for humans maybe, but commonplace for a maker.

He may even be able to help you figure out what went wrong and why Death hasn't come to fetch you yet. Because you're one hundred percent certain that the Horseman wouldn't just leave you here.

...

Would he?

'No.' You tell the doubting voice sternly, giving your head a shake to throw the thought from your mind. He wouldn't do that to you. Nor would he have been bested by a couple of constructs.

So, that can't be the reason you're still here.

The maker's contemplative hum draws your attention and you glance up at the underside of his beard as he muses aloud, “Portals? Mmm, beyond stepping in them and getting to the other side, there's not a whole lot to them, why?”

“Well, that's how I got here,” you explain, “Through a portal in the woods. It wasn't supposed to bring me... uh, here though.”

“Oh?” The maker raises an eyebrow and steps into the entrance of a long, spacious tunnel, “Where were you expecting to end up then?”

“Well, that's the thing,” you say glumly, “It wasn't supposed to happen at all. I... fell into it.” Just then, you find yourself awash in the soft, blue glow emanating from dozens of glow stones that have been dotted along the tunnel walls. 

Slowly, he nods, his hair shimmering silver in the ethereal light. “Right. So, erm, where did you fall into it?”

You open your mouth, hesitating for an awkward few seconds before you manage to reply, “On Earth.”

“Hmm.” Carefully sliding a hand out from underneath you, he raises it to scratch at his chin. “Well, portals can be fickle things, depending on who created them in the first place. Mostly, they take you where they're s'posed to lead. Sometimes, they take you where you want to go, but then there're those times when they'll take you where you need to go.”

“Oh great. All the portals I could have fallen into, and I fall into the one with a degree in psychology.”

“Hey, you fell into it by mistake,” he points out, “can't blame the portal for bringing you here.”

“No..” You feel him slip his hand beneath your legs again. “No, I suppose I can't.” 

Because you didn't fall into it by mistake, did you? Death had activated it under your feet. He meant to send you... somewhere. For all of his unpalatable qualities, privately, the Horseman is remarkably intelligent. You have no doubt that he did a thousand calculations in those few seconds before he shot you back through time, weighed the pros and the cons, considered all the risks... He's loathe to admit it but he makes it quite obvious that he cares about what happens to you, if not through words then through his actions. He wouldn't have left you here. Not if he didn't think he could get you back again.

“Hold tight,” the maker suddenly murmurs, drawing you out of your thoughts and you instinctively latch onto his thumb, despite being held in perhaps the steadiest hands in the known Universe. As it turns out, he simply steps up onto an elevated section of the tunnel. 

Anticlimactic.

Shaking your head with a snort, you turn your gaze to the far end, where a soft, orange glow is seeping in through the arched entrance. Apprehension has you drawing your uninjured leg up to your chest and you’re quite firmly reminded that this isn't the Tri Stone you've come from, and these aren't your friends. They're strangers. You are a stranger.

You take a couple of deep, nervous breaths, stilling when the maker's thumb bumps hesitantly against your side. “Not nervous, are you?” he asks, teasing.

You are, as a matter of fact. Though perhaps not for the same reason he suspects. Truthfully, the prospect of seeing your friend again after you'd watched him die puts the fear of God into you.  How on Earth will you react? What will you say to him? Should you warn him? What if you say the wrong thing and he ends up disliking you? What if Death comes to take you back and you find you can’t say goodbye to him again?

Swallowing, you wet your lips and admit, “A little, I guess.”

Your admission brings a guttural murmur to the maker’s throat and his hands cup a bit more securely around you. Whether the reaction is conscious or not, you aren't sure. But you decide not to mention it.

“You think I'd pull you out of trouble, just to let you get hurt on my watch? In my village? Some of this lot might be a bit boisterous, but they're good folk, and any friend of mine'll be a friend of theirs.”

“Oh? And who said I was a friend of yours?” You shoot him an impish grin, which he returns, peeling his lips back to reveal the extent of his gleaming, ivory tusks.

“Seem to recall it being you, you little smart aleck. Called me a boddy, didn't you?”

“A buddy.”

“S'what I said.” 

A snort explodes from you before you can lift a hand to catch it.

Encouraged, the giant lifts you closer to his face and continues, “You can laugh, sweetheart, but naming me a friend was your mistake. You'll have a hell of a time getting rid of me now.”

At the back of your mind, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Death's instructs you not to go and start making friends in a place you'll probably, hopefully, be leaving soon - a tricky feat when you're faced with an incorrigible maker who keeps flashing you charming grins and coy remarks. Besides, you're not going to be cold just because you might not stick around. You're a human, not a Horseman.

Dropping your leg back over the side of his hand, you clear your throat to smother a chuckle and say, “You must have no end of friends if you make them that easily.”

It only lasts for a moment, but you don't miss how the hands you're pressed into go stiff and rigid. Then, as though it had never happened, the maker juts out his chest, chin sticking high in the air. “Course I've got friends,” he declares, “But I'll have you know, I'm very selective.”

You raise a skeptical brow. “Really?”

“Aye, really!” Chuckling nervously, his eyes dart away from you and back again and he's a little too quick to point out, “Oh, wouldja look at that! We're here!”

Sure enough, as you turn to follow his gaze, you suddenly find yourself awash in warmth and light. Squinting, you raise a hand to shield your eyes after the tunnel's comfortable darkness, blinking out at a distantly familiar, yet unrecognisable scene.

It's the village of Tri Stone all right, only it looks almost new, at least compared to the village you'd left behind. For one, there's a lot less space between the buildings now. Grey, stone huts are packed almost on top of one another in clusters, running up and down the left and right of the bridge that stretches over the seemingly bottomless gorge below. In the place where Muria’s gazebo will stand, there is instead an enormous, open walled garden, bursting with herbs and flowers that stand much taller than you do. 

There are lanterns and glow stones strung up like bunting over the village, leaving everything bathed in that warm, orange light that drapes over you like a comforting blanket. At the far end of the bridge, you spot the distinct doorway leading to the maker's forge and part of you wants to breathe a sigh of relief, drawing small comfort from the familiarity of the stone face carved out of the very mountain itself. 

The village's architecture, however, is not the reason for the gasp that escapes you. 

Milling about between the buildings – in greater numbers than you've ever seen before – are dozens of makers, all shapes, sizes and ages. There are those clothed in lush, richly coloured robes, those wearing leathers and furs and even some who are fully decked out in silver and gold armour.

Older makers gather in small groups, some of them talking animatedly amongst themselves, though the tones are such an amalgamation of low, gravelly sounds that you can't pick out any specific words from your vantage point at the top of the village. In an instant, you begin to rake your gaze over the crowd, searching with a hesitant desperation for that familiar flash of white beard or sweeping prongs protruding from an intricate headpiece.

Then, you spot something that gives you pause. 

Dashing between the adults, almost lost amongst the sea of vast legs, you catch glimpses of far smaller creatures, and it isn't until one of them suddenly emerges from behind a maker's boot that you realise exactly what it is you're looking at.

Without warning, your jaw practically comes unhinged.

They're.... younglings. Proper younglings - not like Karn, who was only called as such because he happened to be younger than the others. These are quite clearly children. And while they'd tower about you by a few feet, some of them hardly seem to reach their elders' knees.

Enraptured and knowing full-well that you're witnessing something secret and precious, you watch them chase each other between long legs and weave around the huts, brandishing wooden swords at one another, save for a few of the smaller ones who cling to the older giants and observe their playmates with shy reticence, content to wait until they're big or brave enough to join in.

It's a community. An entire community of makers.

Your throat is tighter than a vice when you try to swallow.

There's a soft and proud smile tugging at the maker's lips as he observes you, revelling in the dumbfounded expression on your face. 

After giving you a few more moments to soak in your surroundings, he leans down and lets his warm breath wash over the back of your neck. “Welcome to Tri Stone,” he murmurs.

It's beautiful, in a tragic way, only because you've seen it in its future state, and compared to this - this lively, bustling village – the Tri Stone you've come from seems so much like a ghost town. To think... one day, most of this will be gone, and in its place will stand a comparatively lonely and melancholy place. At some point in the future, though you can't hazard a guess as to when, your friends will lose it all....

A single tear wells up in one corner of your eye, but you're quick to deftly swipe it away before the maker can see it.

“Here.. Why don’t I... ” His thick, smoky voice trails off and flutters into your ear and you find yourself being lifted up. You don’t say a word as he gingerly tips his palm and watches you all the way onto his shoulder until he’s satisfied that you’re situated securely upon it. At the questioning glance he receives, he merely shrugs, explaining, “Thought you’d prefer the view from up there.” 

He neglects to mention that he’ll feel much better the further away you are from the ground, and any, wayward boots that might stomp just a little too close for his liking.  

“Now,” he adds, clapping his palms together and already missing the subtle weight of having you held between them “Let’s go and find -” 

“Ah. So, you've returned, at last.” A rasping and admittedly rather grating voice rings out above the village's gentle ambiance and the maker below you groans upon hearing it, turning himself to face the empty staircase on his right and subsequently giving you a better view of the haggard, ancient being shuffling towards you.

Honestly, you can't help but to stare, having never thought you'd get to see a person who could make Eideard look young.

It's another maker, a very old maker, draped in stark, white robes that wash out his pasty complexion and leave him looking sicklier than you imagine he really is. There's almost no colour to him at all, in fact, as though all the life has drained out of his body and left him as little more than a pale ghost, dragging himself towards you on crooked legs, helped along by a staff that resembles the limbless trunk of a birch tree, all mottled and white like its wielder.

As he draws closer, you start to make out the muffled grumbles spat from his thin, drawn lips. Without really meaning to, you shrink against your maker's neck, one hand squeezing around a lock of his silken hair. Why couldn’t he have worn a cowl for you to duck behind?

“You're late,” the old giant wheezes, coming to a halt in front of him, raising a gnarled finger and jabbing it sharply into the younger maker's chest, “You were told to return before the suns fell. Your duties have gone neglected. Again.”

Undeterred by the accusing tone, your new friend turns his head to catch your eye and throws you a wink, plastering on his signature grin before he faces the newcomer once more. “Ah, Cruim! Just the maker we wanted to see-”

“That's Elder Cruim to you, boy,” the other maker sneers, stroking his nails down the long, silver beard that hangs from his chin all the way to the ground, “Where have you been? No doubt getting yourself into trouble, as usual.”

“Oh, you know me. I can't help myself!” he replies with a shrug, accidentally jostling you on his shoulder and causing you to let out a soft gasp at the sudden motion.

Unfortunately for you, although this 'Cruim's' eyes resemble the colour of sour milk, they manage to find you without difficulty and once they do, they widen in visible surprise, his mouth falling open to reveal crooked teeth and a missing tusk.

Shyly, you lift one of your hands and give him a tiny wave. “Uh... Hi?”

His razor-sharp gaze snaps to the younger maker and he subjects him to a scathing glare, hissing, “What... is that thing?”

“Errr..” Your friend's smile droops and he shares another quick glance with you before he admits, “Actually, we were hoping you might have some idea.”

Gradually, your heart begins to sink as the old maker gives you another, suspicious look, recognition never once alighting in his eyes.

“It's um, good to meet you, Sir,” you venture weakly, trying not to sound as though you're desperate, “We just thought... someone as ol – uh, worldly as you would have seen someone like me before. In your travels?... Perhaps?” Already feeling small, you let your voice fade into nonexistence. 

If nothing else, getting at least a general idea of the epoch you're in might be incremental in getting you back to your own timeline. On the off chance that Cruim has heard of humans before, then you can safely narrow the date down to... oh, within the last four and a half billion years.

You sigh.

One of the giant's wispy eyebrows lifts and he wrinkles his nose, but doesn't otherwise respond to your question, instead electing to squint at you dubiously, sending your heart-rate up a few notches.

“This here's a hoo-man,” the young maker encourages, hoping to perhaps jog his memory, yet all he receives in response is a skeptical 'harrumph.'

“It... it's hyu-man,” you correct him softly, enunciating the word whilst you privately long for the interaction to be over so that you can get back to looking for Eideard, and if not him, then Muria. The pain in your leg may be less severe, but you’re conscious that the wounds still need seeing to.

“A human? Pah! There's no such species!” the old one spits, “Whatever that thing told you, it's lying.”

Beneath your legs, you feel the maker's shoulder tense as he draws himself up, hackles raised. “That thing,” he says slowly, erring on a growl, “happens to be a friend of mine.”

He doesn’t notice the soft, ‘Huh?’ that slips from your tongue, nor the surprised wonder shining in your eyes as you turn to stare at him.

In contrast, Cruim evidently couldn’t care less, and with an exasperated huff, he throws his eyes up to the sky and tuts, tossing his hand out towards you aggressively. “I swear, you always were soft-headed as a youngling. Nothing much seems to have changed with age...” He pauses to reaffix you with a glare, still addressing his younger counterpart as he adds, “It's a glamoured demon, you fool. Nothing more. Now, get rid of it before it causes mayhem in my village.”

Suddenly, a gut-wrenching pit of fear opens up in your stomach. You know exactly what makers think of demons, but just as you try to sputter out assurances that you most certainly are not a demon in disguise, the young maker grunts, twisting himself sideways so that the shoulder you're sitting on is moved further away from his elder, partially hiding you from view behind a waterfall of golden hair.

“Just hold on a whit. This little'un is no demon!” he declares, swelling to his full height until he's looming over the old maker, “You think I wouldn't recognise glamour magic if I sensed it? Now, I might not know what a human is, but I'm inclined to believe that I've met one today - one who needs our help.”

Despite the distant hum of the village, you feel as though you're sitting in a silent bubble of existence miles away from everything else, locked in this one, single moment as the pair of makers stare one another down whilst you watch with bated breath.

Somehow, you get the impression that this isn't the first time they've locked horns.

Your maker stands at least two heads taller than his older counterpart, but the latter has the advantage of being a respected figure, one whose authority is rarely, if ever questioned or challenged. And makers are nothing if not an honourable lot. It's difficult to believe that the younger one is standing up against his own elder in your defence. You, a stranger in their home.

You fully expect him to back down first.

So it comes as a huge surprise when it’s the old one who breaks eye contact and shakes his head, disappointment and contempt radiating off him in tangible waves. “I miss the days when you younglings would listen to your elders.”

“That was 'fore I learned that my elders are capable of being wrong sometimes.”

Cruim's fists clench tightly around his staff, but he takes a step back, levelling the maker with his icy sneer. “Fine. You won't be told... Blind yourself to my warnings. But mark me...” Trailing off to heave his rickety bones around, he begins to shuffle away once more, heading for the staircase that sweeps down towards the lower tier of the village. Upon reaching the top step, he twists his head over a shoulder and calls, “If your little stray causes any trouble, I will be holding you personally responsible....” Then, with a sigh, he lowers his voice and turns away once more, but not before he adds in an uncharacteristically soft murmur, “You can't keep trying to make friends with every creature that catches your fancy. One of these days, your heart will be the thing that gets you killed, Eideard.”

And just like that, with the utterance of a single word, the realm around you grinds to an abrupt and dizzying halt.

The soft-eyed maker doesn't seem to realise that the tiny being on his shoulder has stopped breathing. He continues to watch Cruim descend the staircase until he's out of sight, and only then does he lose his rigid stance.

“Ah, don't pay him any mind,” he huffs dismissively, “Time's made him bitter and suspicious. I know you’re telling the truth.”

But you're barely listening to him. Suddenly, you don't care that the elder hasn't heard of your species. You don't give a damn that you're lost between the fabric of time, billions of years separated from Death and the rest of your friends. Even the ache in your leg is forgotten, drowned out by the cruel knife of grief that lodges into your heart and gives a vicious twist, stealing the breath right out of you. Everything threatens to hit you all at once, disbelief first, then confusion and shock, misery, hope, guilt. It all leaves you numb as your brain tries to sift through the nauseating torrent of emotions until it finally settles upon the one it can most easily comprehend for the moment. 

Apprehension.

Stiffly, with your heart jackhammering against your ribcage, you twist yourself around to face the maker properly, the beginnings of a sob catching in your throat. “Wha...What did he just... call you?”

“Hmm?” The maker pivots his neck in your direction, taking in your haunted stare for a moment before he suddenly realises that... That's right. He'd never actually introduced himself to his new friend. 

“Oh, maker's bones, look at me, forgetting my manners.” Beaming, he fixes you under his warm, blue gaze which is now so, jarringly familiar that you can hardly believe you never recognised it in the first place.

“My name's Eideard, little one. At your service.”

[luvlyrv]

Our Songs | pt. 6 | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I hope the word count marginally makes up for the fact this series has been on a three month hiatus lol, don't worry though it'll finish soon!

Date: 6/10/21

Series Masterlist

Ever since you and Wendy exchanged numbers you find your hand unconsciously reaching out to your phone throughout the day. You hope to find a notification from her when you turn it on. Thankfully she always seemed to respond back, but even when she didn't you'd put your phone down to repeat the loop. You tried your best to make sure it didn't interfere with your work, but still, your day was marked by Wendy. Although she wasn't there physically your conversations always carried through day and night.

You've known her to be a warm person, always friendly and comforting. You hope you're not reading into things too much, but sometimes you read her messages and your heart skips a beat. The way she would talk about you would make you flustered. It would force you to put your phone down for a second, unable to comprehend the positivity. Then the thought that maybe she was flirting would creep into your head.

The idea that you're just imagining things always comes back to fight it though.

Shaking your head you decide not to contemplate the idea further. After all she was going to come over soon and you needed to focus on finishing your songs. Thinking about any possible romantic feelings was the last thing you wanted to do. Especially with her in front of you.

Luckily the thoughts dissipate as you zone into the work in front of you, scrutinizing every detail you possibly could. You let yourself sink into the feeling of the songs, letting it help guide your decisions in mixing. As quickly as you get focused though, you're broken out of your zone when you hear knocking on the door. Before answering you run to the mirror and take a quick look while trying to make sure you look presentable. When you rush up to the door to open it you act like nothing happened.

"H-hello! Welcome again to my humble abode!" You say it with a smile, trying to suppress the sudden fluttering feeling in your stomach.

"Hey!" She says while looking up and down at you. "Looks like we're accidentally matching today, huh?" Wendy walks past the door and you close it behind her. You take a moment to look at her outfit and then at yours. The both of you had a very blue color palette.

"Well, way to steal the spotlight. You look way cuter than me." You don't sound as confident as you'd like, your voice bordering on the softer and quieter side. You realize you haven't felt this nervous in a while.

"As if that could ever be possible!" Wendy turns her head back at you as she walks towards your room. She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue at you, only to quickly smile at your remark. "Now stop being silly and let's work."

You follow her into your bedroom and sit down in front of your computer. She sits on a familiar stool and the two of you immediately start working. You share what you have so far, all you do is record some more vocals, including harmonies and adlibs. You polish things with Wendy by your side to help make some stylistic choices. It took a few hours that only felt like mere minutes.

The sun is still out, unlike the first time the two of you had worked together. This leads you to ask Wendy something before she would leave.

"While we're here we should just record the collab video, yeah?" Wendy's eyes light up in recollection of your previous conversation.

"That sounds good, how about we do the Q&A type video today? I can just message Yeri for some questions."

"Sure, I'll ask Seulgi to make up some interesting things for us to answer too."

The two of you didn't have to wait long as both of your friends replied fast, excited to help out and excited to have some questions answered. You situate yourself next to Wendy in a comfortable position and get the camera ready. After getting the camera in position you take the time to fix the lighting in your room, making sure to have a soft and natural feeling with the lights.

Finally, the red light begins to blink on your camera and you wave. Wendy follows along and flashes the camera a friendly look. You give a quick introduction for the video.

"Hey everybody! I'm here with Wendy today to do a little Q&A type video for you guys! We've both gotten some questions from our friends and it's just to share a little about us, how we feel about our collaboration, behind the scenes type of stuff, you know?" Wendy tilts her head and looks at you as you talk, nodding to your words.

"I really can't wait to answer these questions with you." She says with a smile. She looks back at the camera as she pulls her phone out and looks at her messages with Yeri. "Neither of us have prepared any script or anything. We've barely even looked at the questions they've sent us!" You nudge Wendy with your elbow and laugh at a thought.

"What if they sent us something inappropriate?"

"Oh god, Yeri totally would." You both giggle before Wendy prompts you to start reading questions first.

"Alright we'll stop wasting our audience's precious time now. My dear Seulgi's first question is… "what were your first impressions?" Wendy doesn't hesitate to answer the question as soon as it was asked.

"Oh! Whenever Y/N entered the café we were meeting in I was kind of surprised! She doesn't post a lot of pics of herself so to see someone as talented as her in real life was an honor. She's really cute, right?" She reaches out to pinch the cheek of your so-called cute face. You strain a smile of embarrassment at her antics.

"Yeah yeah, I don't record myself a lot." When she stops her assault on your face you follow-up with your opinion. "For Wendy… I was also really surprised… I think I'm really lucky. You guys should know that a camera really doesn't do her justice! When I first met her she certainly gave off a very approachable demeanor too."

"Why do you think that?"

"I don't know? I was really nervous meeting you, yet when I saw you and when we got to talk the atmosphere turned into something really comfortable fast. Let's just move on to the next question." You take a look at your phone again to see Seulgi's question. "What's your favorite thing about the other? Well, Wendy has always been so sweet, it's been wonderful working with her. I appreciate the care and dedication to her work that she has shown me. Her musicality really helped pull everything together, and when I was stuck she was always there to give me a fresh perspective."

"Aww, that's so sweet of you." Wendy says with a blush on her face, her hand covering her face as she laughs a bit. "It's strange to be talking to you like this, I feel like. I think you're a really straightforward person but we haven't really talked about our opinions to this extent! Especially to a camera. Ah… well I think I could really say everything the same for Y/N." Wendy nods a bit in thought before continuing on. "To add to it though, I think Y/N has just always been so considerate to me. Like, beyond being a great musician she has been a good person to me. I think if you've seen some of our interactions on Twitter you'll know that she ended up cooking a wonderful meal for me on our first meeting. I think that if she wasn't as nice as she is, we wouldn't have had this much fun together… wait, this has been fun for you too, right?"

"Oh my god, yes it has. How could you doubt that?" You punch her arm with a fake upset face. You turn back to the camera. "Guys, we've hung out and have talked soooo much outside of our collab. I literally don't understand how she can have a single doubt in her mind about us having fun."

"It doesn't hurt to clarify! Anyways, next question now! And stop punching so hard!"

"Oh hush, it wasn't that hard. Oh hmm, to go along with that Seulgi wonders what our least favorite thing about each other is."

"That's an easy one!" Wendy says all too excitedly. You make a shocked expression, worry flooding your system as Wendy points at you with a smile. "I hate how you're absolutely brimming with talent! Your work is impeccable! Musical genius!"

You groan as your body crumples. "You nearly gave me a heart attack…" Your voice is muffled between your knees.

"It's true though!" Wendy says in a sing-song voice, her face smug in satisfaction to see your scared reaction. "Otherwise there's nothing I can really say."

You gather the strength to get back up and face the camera, then Wendy. Your face is still filled with disappointment but you take your time to stare at Wendy. As you stare at her she seems to come undone as she nervously looks away.

"What are you doing?" A red color subtly creeps up her neck.

"I'm just thinking. I'm thinking that… You also have nothing wrong with you." Wendy can't help but to roll her eyes at your comment. "Except for being awfully cheesy. It makes me wanna go bury myself in a ditch so I won't have to hear your stupid cheesiness again."

"Whatever, whatever. It's my turn to read the questions. Now… this is a good one, "what has the work process been like?"

"Well that's obvious, I do all the work and Wendy leeches off of me like a parasite."

"Hey! Just because it's true doesn't mean you have to say it to the world!" Her response throws you into a fit of laughter, turning you into a mess.

"Oh my, no no! It's really not like that. I would say we have an equal workload, or a workload that makes sense between our respective positions." Wendy shakes her head in disagreement.

"I don't feel so. I feel like Y/N always does so much work, and she does it so quickly too. It makes me feel kind of bad when I sit beside her and see her work her magic. When she's focused and working so hard it's quite amazing."

"Ah geez." You shyly scratch the back of your neck. "Wendy's always like this, complimenting me. Like I said earlier though, she really helps bring me new perspective when I'm stuck and her musicality is like nothing else. She always takes the time to sit next to me and monitor things too. It's not like she's a third party to the process. Not only that," You take the time to send Wendy a smile in an attempt to reassure her that you're not burdened with work. You want her to know that you appreciate her part of the creative process, "but nothing really feels like hard work when I'm with you."

Wendy has a hard time processing your words, so instead of addressing it she decides to just further elaborate her answer to the question.

"Well, I'll just lay down the process for everyone. Obviously, Y/N produces and I sing. Although after enough convincing from me you'll hear her singing on the tracks as well, so say thank you! It all started when Y/N took the time to reach out to me, which I was really excited about by the way, and then we both agreed to meet up at a local place. We just talked about concepts and our availability. We both ended up writing songs and worked together on what we wanted to keep or change. Everything productive happens here," Wendy opens her arms to gesture to the area around her, "at Y/N's place. Even though I have audio equipment at my place too we just record things here."

"Yeah, everything she said is true. I have a little set-up here in my room. I don't think I've ever really shown you guys it? I mean, I've shown my guitar collection before but not all my other equipment yet. I'll film that another time though. Next question?"

"Oh this is kind of interesting to think about, "what do you think the reception of your mini-album will be?" The both of you take a moment to think about it. Recalling many of the things you've read on social media you decided to speak first.

"Well, I think it'll be extremely beneficial to the both of us in multiple ways. I mean first off, I guess by our genre of music we have a lot of overlap between fans. There's been an overwhelming amount of support from fans who are excited to see the both of us collaborate and interact. I have no doubt that it'll do well since it's so highly anticipated by our fans. It'll be even better if you guys manage to stream and share it!" Throughout your explanation you begin to give Wendy shy glances. "I think that even if we drop our music and it doesn't meet much success, I would've gained a lot. I think working together with Wendy has helped me grow as a musician and anything that I learn here I will utilize in the future."

At your last comment Wendy seemed to get excited and she quickly added on.

"Exactly! If anything the most important part about all of this is the fact that I have gained skills as a musician and gained a friend. That greatly outweighs any potential of success." Wendy has a bright smile on her face, happy to be able to call you a friend.

"That doesn't mean we don't want you guys to go ahead and share our music by the way." You joke light-heartedly. "It would mean a lot if you did."

"Now final question for this video! We've been talking too much." Wendy looks at her phone, unlike before she takes a couple seconds before reading the question aloud. "Uh, I think this should be fun to answer. "What do you want to do in the future together?" I think that obvious answer is to make more music!"

You chuckle at her answer before responding as well. "Going to each other's places to have a jam session doesn't sound bad, but hanging out in general is good. We'll definitely continue being friends, and if the reception for our collab is really good we might do another one? That is, of course, if Wendy is okay with that."

"I would be more than happy to do that. I was also thinking of forcing you to binge watch more shows and movies with me."

"Only if you stop hogging the popcorn. Anyways, I think this should be the end of our video. I highly encourage all of you to check-out Wendy's channel in a couple days. The day right before release we're going to be dropping one more video together! Bye-bye!" You wave a goodbye to the camera with a smile. Wendy joins you in your outro.

"See you guys soon!"

You go to turn your camera off as Wendy goes to gather her things. After turning off your lights you go to sit back down on your seat, importing the recently filmed footage to your computer. Wendy takes this moment to sit down next to you again.

"Again, thank you for your hard work!" She says it with a smile as she brings her hand on your arm. "I'm always amazed with the quality of your work and how quickly you can do it."

"No problem, I'll send the songs to you later for your feedback. We'll be able to post everything soon." You smile back at her and give her hand a comforting squeeze. A part of you wishes you could keep your hand there forever.

"Alright, well see you at my place soon!"

When you finally hear the click of your door closing you let out a sigh. You don't want to think about it. You don't want to face it.

You don't want to face the possibility that you've fallen.

[shadowgeist-stars]

Kitagawa First: So Heavy the Crown

It should've been like any other Monday. Toru and Iwaizumi should've gone about their day off from practice as they usually did. He'd brought his nephew home and the two had intended to get something to eat together.

They should not have seen Tobio, of all people, standing in the cemetery.

It was already unlike him to be away from practice with the other crows this early in the afternoon. Especially wearing an oversized jacket vaguely similar to what they wore back in middle school. The strange hoodie he wore was familiar, but somehow not quite right; it even looked a little big for him.

“What in the world is he doing out here?” Iwaizumi wondered.

“Let’s go check it out,” Toru suggested with a smile. This could be a perfect opportunity to learn something about their former junior.

He was talking, they realized as they drew close. To himself, most likely, but Toru decided to take the stealthy route to hear exactly what Tobio was saying.

“I didn’t make it to Shiratorizawa like you did… but I think I still found a good team… At least, I hope you’d like them. Shiratorizawa might be too different from when you were there anyway… I still think about what you told me, back then… how if I got really good at volleyball, someone even better would come find me. I thought I found that person in middle school where you used to coach… But I guess it didn’t work out how I hoped…”

A small pang in Toru’s stomach told him that was probably about him. He was able to look at the name on the gravestone Tobio stood in front of, though, as well as the birth-to-death dates.

Kazuyo Kageyama… 1936-2010… sounds like a grandparent. And a volleyball coach, as well? Hmm... Volleyball must simply run in the family.

“But now, I think I found someone who is like what you were saying,” Tobio continued to the gravestone. “He may not look like much. He’s short, super annoying, and kind of a dumbass… but he’s the fastest and highest-jumping spiker I’ve ever seen… And sometimes, he’s the best friend someone like me could ask for.”

His head eventually lowered, his body starting to curl in on itself like he was going to fall to his knees. The third years almost thought they were starting to hear him sniffle.

“I just wish you could meet him, and everyone else… I think you’d like meeting them all. Sugawara and Asahi and Daichi… All the second years like Noya and Tanaka… maybe even Tadashi and Tsukishima and our managers and our coach and Mr. Takeda…” He crumbled to the ground with a sob. “I just… I miss you, Grandpa. More than Miwa or our parents. I have ever since…”

That was when the name finally clicked. Kazuyo Kageyama was the old coach of the infamous local ladies volleyball team, the Kitagawa Birds, who was forced into retirement due to illness. If both Tobio and this Miwa were related to him and he taught both of them volleyball from a really young age, it would’ve made sense that Kageyama would be such a good player so early on. And since the date said he died during Tobio’s second year in middle school… that had to have hit him hard.

Possibly… hard enough to make him into what Kunimi and Kindaichi called “the King of the Court.”

Iwaizumi took a small step closer, flinching when he stepped on the grass in just the right way that would make noise. Enough noise for Tobio to flinch away from the source and twist backward to see them both standing there. And more importantly, for them to see the tears starting to dribble down his face.

“Uh-um… what are you two doing here?” he asked, trying to clean his face with his sleeve (most likely to be his grandfather’s jacket).

“We’d ask you the same thing, but we heard enough to answer for us,” Toru replied. “Please, don’t let us stop you.”

Iwa slapped him on the back of the head. “Ignore him. We were just wondering what you were doing away from your team in a place like this.” His eyes scanned the gravestone once more, guiding Tobio into a position where the three could sit together. “You never really told any of us about your grandfather back in middle school, did you Kageyama?”

The first year shook his head.

“Didn’t think so… Well, if you’re feeling up for it with your old upperclassmen… care to share?”

Tobio drummed his fingers on top of one another for about a minute, before nodding slowly.

“Alright, let’s start small. Was your Grandpa the, uh… reason, why you got into volleyball?”

Tobio looked to his grandfather’s grave. “Sort of. He and my sister, Miwa, would always tell me about how I managed to get my hands on her volleyball when I was… a baby… and how I didn’t wanna let go of it. That might’ve been where it all started, but since Grandpa is the only one I really remember raising us, we’d both usually be with him when he was coaching the Kitagawa Birds, playing with some of the ladies, helping them practice, or just passing a ball to each other in a corner of the gym or practicing ourselves with the wall.”

The small story piqued Toru’s interest. Frankly, he found the mental image adorable, seeing a baby Tobio holding onto a volleyball and somehow keeping a grip on it with hands no bigger than the end of his thumb. His memory might be a little faded, but something similar could’ve happened with his nephew Takeru. And Tobio Kageyama, not actually being an only child… He couldn’t help wondering if that sister of his looked all that similar.

Iwaizumi seemed to like how it was going so far. “Okay. We remember you wanted to go to Shiratorizawa even back in middle school. Did your Grandpa have something to do with that?”

Tobio nodded. “He used to be a middle blocker for their team. Showed me his old yearbook and everything. Probably before the current coach showed up, though.”

“So it really does run in the family,” Toru commented. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised though.”

The smaller boy shrugged. “Miwa wound up quitting volleyball after middle school. She was getting more into fashion and stuff anyways, and didn’t like how she was always being told to cut her hair. At least, I think that was the reason.”

Wow. That, Toru could get behind, no questions asked. Sure, he wouldn’t give up volleyball for the world, but he’d definitely take offense if he was always being told to do something like change his looks or cut his lovely hair. That said, it was good to hear Tobio’s sister found her own calling, even if it wasn’t sports-related.

“Kinda wish you were able to introduce your sister and grandfather to the team, Kageyama,” Iwaizumi remarked. “They sound like it’d be pretty interesting to meet them both. Wasn’t your grandfather still coaching in middle school?”

The dark heaviness returned to the young setter. “No… Grandpa was already in and out of the hospital for a long time by then; more one than the other, though. He was able to keep on a brave face for me… but in second year, after you left, he… he…” his voice started quivering, the tears starting to return with new fury. “He left us behind… left me behind… I couldn’t even cry at his damn funeral because it never really hit me! And then after he left… Miwa had to get ready to move away for university… Our parents were distant enough even before he died, and… and then my own team left me!” He wrapped himself tight in his grandfather’s jacket, hands even moving to tangle into his hair. “I was all alone… I didn’t even know what I did wrong… Why all of a sudden I didn’t have anyone anymore!… Why?... Why, why, why?!”

Iwaizumi was quick to hug Tobio from the side, glaring over at Toru until he mirrored the action. It had already been clear enough that Tobio had been holding this all in for a long time. How just losing one person -- closer to him than anyone else in the world -- made him go from a sweet and eager-to-please junior (who still reminded Toru of Ushijima in some ways) to the bad-tempered dictator whose team got so fed up with him that he was given the boot.

No wonder, Toru thought to himself, sadness and guilt pooling in his stomach again. No wonder Tobio became so self-reliant. No wonder he underwent such a change in temperament. What kind of void did middle school leave behind while no one else was able to see?

First, he lost the two of us.

Then he lost his grandfather.

Then he lost his sister.

…Then he lost his team.

He understood now, to some extent. Kazuyo Kageyama didn’t just introduce his grandson to volleyball; he was the reason why the boy loved it so much. But when he left, so did the better parts of Tobio. There was no family or friends to help him carry that weight; it was just him.

Him, and the weight that threatened to crush him, that so many were so willing to call a crown. A tarnished, broken, absurdly heavy crown that they were only beginning to realize here and now.

Until by some miracle, Karasuno and that little shrimp brought him back to some semblance of his old self. Before them, he was left with nothing and no one but himself to rely on. He carried all of that grief, guilt, and frustration on his head for the better part of two years, not knowing what to do with it or with himself.

So they let him cry. They let him drop those long years of forcing down his grief over who he loved most, in loud, chest-ripping wails. Iwaizumi ensured they both kept him wrapped up in their arms, maintaining that small reminder that he should’ve never had to endure that alone. The spite Toru felt for Tobio all that time seemed to melt as well, filling in all the blanks for why he was such a good player and so eager to please and so not deserving of such hatred. Every assumption he made was dissolved by the knowledge about a single person.

“Huh? Toby, what are you doing over there?” a new voice inquired after a time they didn’t give any thought to. “And who are your friends?”

Toru looked through blurred vision at an approaching woman. She was probably around their age, with black, meticulously-styled hair and -- once he blinked away the mist -- deep blue eyes very similar to the first year he and Iwaizumi were hugging.

“Mi -- Miwa…” Tobio managed to hiccup out. The woman held a hand out to him, something he looked at with an almost painful mix of confusion and disbelief before he took it and let her pull him up. And even then, he barely maintained his composure long enough to droop over her shoulder, gripping at her in a desperate hug.

“Shh… I know, Toby, I know…” she soothed, rubbing circles into his back. “I miss him, too… I’m so sorry, Toby…”

He stayed there a little longer before numbly stepping away, wiping his face with his sleeve again.

The Seijoh players were shattered by the look in his eyes. The way they looked so… dead, and tired.

How did no one realize he was becoming like this?

Tobio almost swayed another direction before Iwaizumi stepped in and grabbed him. “Easy there, kiddo. Just lean on me -- there we go.” He looked over to the woman with a dip of his head. “I’m Hajime Iwaizumi, and this jerk over here is Toru Oikawa. We knew Kageyama back in middle school.”

The woman seemed to scan the two of them, almost skeptical.

“We’d be happy to help you out with Tobio,” Toru offered, all too happy to take on the diplomatic duty he was so used to. “He was telling us about his grandfather, you see, and it’s clear how much has been on his shoulders since his passing. We were doing what we could as his old upperclassmen.”

“I see…” Miwa replied, turning on her heel. “Follow me. My car’s not far from here.”

Iwaizumi had decided to sit in the backseat with Tobio, keeping him steady as he all but dozed on his shoulder. Toru rode shotgun while the Karasuno player’s sister drove them to the Kageyama household.

“I can’t believe he’s held onto Grandpa’s old track hoodie this long,” Miwa commented. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“Because he and his grandfather were that close?” Toru inquired.

The woman nodded. “Even closer than I was with either of ‘em. Grandpa was really all he had, ever since… well, there was always that one thing our parents didn’t like for some reason.”

...Secretly, Toru had a feeling he knew what exactly “that one thing” was. He had his suspicions of the way Tobio behaved, almost entirely fixated on volleyball. The way he subconsciously reminded him of Ushijima. Who knows? Perhaps even the famous Ushiwaka was introduced to volleyball that early on as well, and had the same sort of mind.

“I suppose that’s simply an unfortunate truth with some people,” he replied offhandedly. “I’ll admit, I and some of our current teammates weren’t exactly fond of him in middle school. But then again, none of us had a clue about his personal life, and I’d wager Tobio didn’t even give himself time to grieve.”

“I guess I can’t blame you there. Toby never consciously dwelled on things that he didn’t think he had to, for better or worse. He wanted to be just like Grandpa, but after graduating from middle school not being able to get into Shiratorizawa, he figured volleyball was the only thing he had left.”

“And even then, he was all on his own,” Iwaizumi finished from the backseat when they stopped at the house. He even helped carry Kageyama inside. “We all knew how Oikawa gave the poor kid a hard time when he was still an eager-to-please prodigy in his first year, and even heard how his sudden change in attitude in his second year left him ostracized by the team. Though we never saw the other side of the story until now.”

He didn't even need to say it was because they refused to hear it.

After the Aoba Johsai players put the younger boy to bed, they both went to the bathroom to wash their faces of tears. On the way back down, they discovered the pictures that littered the house. A happy family that comprised of parents, a grandfather, and a little girl. But when a baby boy appeared, there was only one of all five before the parents all but disappeared. The only ones after were the two children and their grandfather.

In all of them, the grandfather in question sported a wide, proud smile. Whether it be with a far younger Miwa trying to brush his hair, tossing a volleyball with the even younger Tobio, or all three of them together, he still had that smile. A sort of light that went missing when he passed away, leaving both of his grandchildren behind.

“Your grandfather must’ve been quite a splendid role model for the both of you,” Toru said softly. “A light that even Tobio didn’t deserve to lose.”

Miwa hummed thoughtfully, leaving some tea to steep in a pot. “I don’t think Toby even realized how badly he was hurting. Honestly, I kinda wish I didn’t have to leave him so soon. If I knew how badly he was affected by Grandpa’s death, I would’ve held off on school just to make sure he’d have at least someone to be there… Maybe I just put too much trust into his teammates supporting him.”

Because Kindaichi and Kunimi thought he was nothing but a dictator at the sport. They didn’t think for a second that he might’ve just been lonely or in pain.

…Then again, neither did we.

“I don’t think you have to worry much about him now, though,” Iwaizumi pointed out. “We know we failed the poor kid, as his former teammates and as his upperclassmen, and we’re far from the only ones who did so. But I plan to make sure we fix that.”

Toru smiled at the ace’s declaration, looking towards Tobio’s room. Even if the now-sleeping boy may never really trust Toru again, at least his beloved might be able to get through to the younger setter. If they find the chance, they might even get Kindaichi and Kunimi to understand as well, and enlist their help in making amends.

“Besides, ever since joining Karasuno, we can tell he’s doing a lot better,” Toru added. “He’s… finally found a place where he fits in. And I for one doubt those crows will leave him the way we did, especially not his new little go-to spiker. Whether he finds it in him to tell them about this or not, I can at least be confident that they’ll stand with him.”

Miwa smiled at them both, finally pouring the tea for all three of them. “I’m glad for that, you two. Toby needs a lot of friends to make up for not having anyone before. Whether they know about Grandpa or not, I just want him to find a family of his own, if only to make sure it’s not just the two of us looking out for each other.”

The two young men could only stick around for about another hour, conversing with Miwa and looking after their former underclassman. They told her about each of the crows to the best of their ability, the woman occasionally throwing in her two cents about whoever Tobio actually told her about. When the sun said they had to head home, they gave Tobio one last check before they left with a final goodbye and thank-you to Miwa.

As they left, though, Toru couldn't help but take a final look at the almost foreboding Kageyama household, holding onto his boyfriend's arm. "Iwa… do you think Tobio will tell his other teammates about his grandfather? Should he?"

Iwaizumi sighed. "It would probably be a good idea, but I doubt it. He'll probably tell the little sunspot and Karasuno's other setter, if no one else, but only time will tell."

…I guess that's true, Toru thought to himself dully. Only time will tell, and trust as well…

[happyandticklish]

Experiment Gone Wrong

Summary: Izaya decides to conduct an experiment to test humanity’s morality, but forgets to factor Shizuo into his calculations. 

Contrary to what most would be led to believe, Shizuo was a morning person. He enjoyed strolling the busy streets of Ikebukuro, unusually abandoned in the early twilight of morning. Everything was quiet and he could finally be left alone with his thoughts. His hands were buried in his pockets and he stopped for a moment, closing his eyes to revel in it.

“Good morning, Shizu-chan~!”

Shizuo’s eyes snapped open, his peace and quiet gone. He spun towards the sound of the voice, his hands already curling into fists. The sight he was greeted with, however, was so absurd that for a moment he almost forgot his anger.

Izaya was pinned against one of the many lampposts littering the town, rope curling up his legs and torso. The bondage ended in both his wrists and ankles, each of which had additional rope further securing him fully and completely to the pole. His arms were raised far above his head, his body stretched taut against the pole. The barest hint of his stomach peeked out as his shirt was raised from the position.

Izaya himself seemed unconcerned about the position. “I didn’t peg you as someone who goes on walks. Enjoying the beautiful morning as well?”

“What are you doing?” Shizuo growled, ignoring his words. Somehow the sight of Izaya so vulnerable made him even angrier; like fate was taunting him or something. “Why are you tied to a pole, flea bastard?”

Izaya arched an eyebrow. “This? This is merely a science experiment, my dear Shizuo. I wanted to see what people would do if they found someone in a helpless situation such as this. See, I am perfectly aware of all the downgrades of humanity, but I wanted to see it to its full extent: when faced with someone who is so completely vulnerable, will people choose to help or to take advantage of the situation?”

Shizuo slowly walked towards him, stopping just a few feet away. He glanced up and down, unimpressed. “You know, this is possibly the stupidest thing you have ever done.” He grinned, shaking his head. “I mean, what’s your plan if someone does take advantage of you?”

“I have Shinra on look-out,” Izaya replied breezily, twisting a bit to get comfortable. His shirt rode up further and Shizuo felt something twinge inside him. He clenched his fists, trying not to let it get to him. “He and Celty will of course step in if anything gets too out of hand.” Hidden inside of his palm, invisible to Shizuo, was a button that, should he press it, would immediately alert Shinra that he was in distress. “Why?” He smiled cheekily. “Are you worried about me?”

“As if I’d be worried about worthless scum like you,” Shizuo scoffed, but his real answer was clear from the way he couldn’t meet Izaya’s eyes.

“Aw, you were!” Izaya cooed. “That’s adorable, really, but I can handle myself.��

Shizuo frowned, slowly circling the pole. Izaya watched him with a pleasant expression all the while, eyebrows raised in expectation. Shizuo stopped behind him, his eyes trained on the other man’s exposed hips. He was finding it incredibly distracting for some reason.

“While I appreciate the attention, I do have to ask you what you are doing—”

Izaya broke of suddenly, slamming his mouth shut. Shizuo’s hands now rested on his hips where just a moment ago they had been digging into the slender skin. “Interesting,” he murmured. “So you are ticklish.”

“I am what?” Izaya demanded irritably. He shifted under his hands, trying to ignore the way his skin buzzed nervously, an aftereffect of the earlier touch. “I am going to have to ask you to let go of me.”

“I thought you could handle yourself,” Shizuo pointed out, grinning as the reality of their situation set in. He drummed his fingers against the other’s sides, enjoying the way it made Izaya squirm.

“I can,” Izaya snapped. “Obviously.”

“Then make me let go of you,” Shizuo said, squeezing his hips once more. “Get out of the ropes. Call for help.”

Izaya’s face contorted as he fought not to laugh. He tugged at the rope, hoping to do just that, but very quickly realized just how tight Shinra had tied the knots. He twisted around for a bit, hoping to shimmy out of them, but as they crossed over his torso, legs, wrists, and ankles, escape was veritably impossible. That left only one option—he had to wait Shizuo out. If he could hold out long enough to convince the blond that he wasn’t ticklish, maybe he would let him go.

He had endured far worse than this. Surely he could handle a little bit of tickling.

For the first thirty seconds Izaya managed to tense up his body and breathe through his nose as Shizuo experimentally poked up and down his torso. It tickled, but not as much as it could; he had a feeling Shizuo was just toying with him for right then. Because Izaya was Izaya, however, he could not resist throwing out a couple of taunts as Shizuo continued his search.

“Why are you so interested in tickling me, anyway?” Izaya asked, his cheeks flushing a bit at the word. Luckily Shizuo was behind him and didn’t notice. “Isn’t that a bit childish?”

“Yeah, well, you’re basically an adult child anyway,” Shizuo snarked, his pokes growing more calculated as time grew on, so that each one sent a shock through Izaya’s nervous system. “Besides, I think you being ticklish is nice; it’s like a reminder that you’re actually human like the rest of us.”

“I resent that i-implication,” Izaya retorted, flinching as Shizuo needled the spot right under his ribs. “And like I said, I am not ti—”

His sentence was interrupted by wild and sudden laughter as Shizuo decided in that moment to stop fooling around. He crawled his fingers around his sides to his exposed stomach and started rapidly spidering his fingers over the bare skin. His touch was light enough so as not to be painful, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still tickle like hell.

Izaya was very embarrassed to hear the stream of giggles falling from his lips, an unfortunate reaction to that spot. If he had been free to curl up or been given free use of his hands, Izaya might have been able to stop himself from reacting so violently. As it was, he found himself quickly dissolving at the rapid movements from Shizuo’s skilled hands.

“Not what?” Shizuo asked, switching to just one hand so he could cup the other around his ear. “Not ticklish? Is that what you were going to say?”

“I-Ihihihi’m nohohot!” Izaya insisted, his face going bright pink as he fought to resist his body’s natural reactions. “I’m l-laughing ahahat you, y-you ohohoaf!”

“Mm-hmm,” Shizuo hummed, grinning. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Inwardly, Izaya thrummed with a strange, excited energy and he found that he almost didn’t want the other to stop. He decided to dismiss these feelings as laughter-induced delirium. 

As much as Izaya was struggling, it was evident that his stomach was not his worst spot and Shizuo wanted to take full advantage of this perfect situation. He slid his hands down so that nails fluttered lightly against Izaya’s hips, causing the other man to splutter over his laughter. He allowed him to linger for a moment in the feather-light sensations before squeezing harshly, his thumbs digging into the bone.

Izaya yelped, his struggling instantly intensifying. “HAHAhaha, w-whahahait, nohohohoho, dohohon’t!” He tugged desperately at his arms, but they refused to come to his aid. He banged his head back against the pole in frustration, arching as much as the ropes allowed him. “Fuhuhuhuhuck!”

“Don’t? So keep going then.” Shizuo was reveling in this display. He had never heard Izaya laugh before, only receiving derisive chuckles or snorts of incredulity. Eyebrows drawn down in helpless desperation, Izaya’s face was the picture of surrender, a surrender to a sensation greater than himself, and the bubbly laughter ripped from his throat only accentuated this fact. Originally Shizuo had only planned to mess with him for a bit before continuing his walk, but with every squeak and hiccup from Izaya he found himself unable to stop himself from tormenting him further.

Not to mention, it was as if Izaya’s hips were made to fit Shizuo’s fingers, his hands sliding into place like a man returning home after a long journey. Truly, how was he supposed to stop when the other option was so enticing?

“F-Fihihihine!” Izaya admitted, squeezing his eyes shut. “Ihihihi ahahadmit ihihit! I’m t-tihihicklish, ohohohokay?”

Shizuo stopped momentarily, triumphant in his victory. Izaya gasped, taking in breath after shaky breath. Strangely though, he didn’t seem as angry as Shizuo would have thought he would be. There was a lingering smile on his face and a strange expression that, if Shizuo didn’t know better, he would have said was joy.

“There,” Shizuo said, throwing in one last squeeze and delighting in the accompanying shriek. “Was that so hard?”

Izaya finally opened his eyes, having regained enough composure to throw a glare in Shizuo’s direction. “Was that really necessary?”

“You torment me on a daily basis,” Shizuo pointed out. “It’s only fitting that I get you back every once in a while. Besides, I thought you said Shinra was supposed to help if anything happens to you. Why don’t you just call him to get you out of this?”

Izaya flushed, knowing himself the real reason why he had not yet called the scientist for help. “I hardly think I need to call him for something as silly as this. Like I said, I can handle myself.”

Shizuo raised an eyebrow, immediately seeing through his façade. He decided not to call him out on it this time, however, and instead said, “Oh? Like you were handling yourself a minute ago when I had you screaming out obscenities from the tickling that you call ‘silly’?”

If Shizuo’s plan had been to embarrass Izaya to death, he was certainly succeeding. “I was not screaming, thank you very much,” he huffed. “I will admit, it was a bit more… intense than I would have originally thought.”

“Is that so?”

“Still, I have endured far worse than this,” Izaya snipped. “This, comparatively, is nothing.”

“Oh, okay.” Shizuo shrugged genially. “I suppose you’re right. I guess something as simple as tickling couldn’t possibly break the great Izaya Orihara.”

“Exactly,” Izaya said warily.

“So then, something like this wouldn’t bother you at all?”

Izaya’s brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to question the blond, but before he could get any words out Shizuo had grabbed the backs of both his thighs, fingers digging torturously into the forbidden area. Izaya would have jumped clear out of his skin had it not been for the ropes, and he shrieked, babbling laughter immediately following it.

“Oh, hot spot is it?” Shizuo teased, giving zero prelude as he squeezed that one spot over and over again, giving Izaya no time to form a response let alone focus on anything as complicated as words. “I guess you were wrong, huh? I guess the great Izaya Orihara can be broken by something as simple as tickling. I’ll make sure to note that down. Thank you, this has been a helpful clarification.”

Izaya just barely managed to flip off, an action Shizuo quickly paid him back for.

Five minutes. Five, long, tickle-filled minutes on the back of his thighs that had Izaya a writhing, squealing mess. Not once, however, did he press the button. Not once did he call out for him to stop. Shizuo noticed this, and though he waited for the eventual protest he assumed inevitable, Izaya never gave it. It was impressive, to be sure.

“Ohohohohokay, ohohohokay, ohohohohokay, ohohohohokahahahaHAHAHAY!” Izaya had taken to simply repeating that one word, gripping to it through the unbearable sensations. He tried again and again to accustom himself to the feeling, but every squeeze was like a shock to his nervous system, sending him into a flood of laughter all over again. “S-Shihihihizuo!”

The sound of his name, shrieked amongst giggles and breathy laughter, was ultimately too much for Shizuo and a blush bloomed across his features. He backed off immediately, his head spinning as he fully realized what he had been doing mere seconds ago. Izaya had no idea of his effect on Shizuo, slowly regaining his breath as phantom tickles ran all up and down his legs.

“Are… are you done?” Izaya asked, relieved to be receiving a break but also slightly disappointed that it was over.

Shizuo coughed, trying to cover up the uneasiness growing in his gut. “Uh, yeah. I, uh, have to continue my walk. Places to be, you know?”

“Oh, y-yeah,” Izaya agreed, confused. It was strange to see Shizuo flustered, even stranger due to the fact that he wasn’t sure what had caused it. “You better get back to that.”

“Have fun with your experiment,” Shizuo called as he backed away, mentally kicking himself at how dumb he sounded.

“Right…” Izaya said slowly, twisting his head around to watch him go as a million questions formed in his mind. “I will.”

Shizuo turned on his heel, walking away in a manner that he hoped was nonchalant. He bit his lip, trying to hide the red quickly forming on his face. 

Why did Izaya have to be so cute, dammit?

[fio-violet]

Fluffy help (part 1)

Throughout the day, the Killer did not behave normally. He looked tired all day, and it bothered him a lot. He couldn't compose himself, couldn't remember the script, got confused in words, and got scolded for it. It was obvious that he had been distracted just today, and at the wrong time, they had a lot of work planned for this day, and he could not collect his thoughts.

"- Hey, Kill -" knight shouted, "- You're a little confused today, are you all right? -" Nightmare asked with a little excitement, this behavior is strange for his boyfriend, usually he is collected when they are on set.

"- I don't know, I've been feeling tired all day, -" the Killer replied, rubbing the back of his head with his hands. "- And now I have a little stress because of the huge number of failed takes, the Director is clearly not happy with me today -" he looked calm, but who knows what is on his mind now.

While the two actors were talking in the other corner of the stage, a timid trainee entered the hall and began to approach the workers who had previously asked the Barista for a certain coffee. Surprisingly, our coffee boy remembered what kind of coffee one or another employee ordered. Now he had gone through almost everything, and there were only two glasses of coffee left on the tray, intended for the monsters he likes.

Ccino had noticed during his rounds that the Killer and Nightmare were talking about something, and to his surprise, it was the Nightmare who took the initiative, and usually the Killer tries to get Him to talk. "- Is something wrong? -" it flashed through his mind as he approached them. He decided that he would definitely ask them about it, but probably later, but for now he tries to smile, and not give away a certain embarrassment and confusion.

"- Hi guys -" a little timidly greeted the two actors, the Barista.

"- Oh, hi, Ccino -" Nightmar said, smiling slightly as the Intern approached them.

"- Hello, baby- " the Killer tried to act natural in front of another favorite monster.

Ccino tried not to show his embarrassment at the Killer's response, but the flush on his cheekbones betrayed it.

"- Y-your coffee. Knight you asked for your regular coffee without additives. And the Killer asked for an espresso with a double dose of caffeine, right? -" of course, he is sure that he remembered everything correctly, but always clarified.

"- Yes, thank you, Ccino -" said Nightmer, still smiling slightly as he took his drink from the tray.

"- That's right, thank you -" the Killer also kept up with the Night and took his glass. Then they simultaneously moved closer to their trainee and kissed on the cheeks from different sides. Ccino, who had not expected such actions, started at first in surprise, and then, as it dawned on him, his face flushed again, and he froze in place, trying to recover himself.

"- Heh, you're so embarrassed again, you should get used to it by now, -" the Killer said with a light laugh, taking a sip of coffee. "-But you get even nicer at times like this -" he continued after a short pause. Nightmare just grinned, as if agreeing with his second boyfriend.

" -B-by the way, -" Ccino said, still looking at the killer in confusion, "- You usually drink coffee with additives, but today you decided to drink the same coffee as Nightmare, with double caffeine." He tried to change the subject to one that bothered him more. "- I noticed that you are silent more than usual, in conversation the Nightmare spoke more than you, something happened? -" Ccino was already looking at his boyfriend with concern.

"- W-wow, you're really observant -" the Killer was actually confused and pleased to some extent, the idea that his boyfriends noticed his condition, even though he tried to hide it so that he could focus on work.

"- I said it was noticeable -" Nightmare said with a grin.

"- Hey, I'm worried about you and the Nightmare, of course I'll notice the changes -" he managed to confuse both himself and the two actors at the same time, but Ccino wanted to know what was going on with the Killer today, maybe he got sick or something.

"- Ccino, the Killer probably overworked recently, this is the result of the actor's hard work -" said the still slightly confused Nightmare.

"- So...are you tired because of stress? -" the barista asked.

"- Most likely -" the Killer replied with a slight smile, finishing his coffee, the drink should help him relieve fatigue until the end of the working day, and then the wave of fatigue and drowsiness will cover him with a vengeance. By the way, Nightmare had almost finished his coffee.

"- Have you thought about taking the day off? -" Night threw the empty glass in the trash and looked at the slightly cheerful Killer.

"- I can't, there's a lot of work, have you seen the script at all? -" a little indignantly asked the Killer, remembering how many times today he forgot words or dialogues until they finished shooting, it was some kind of show.

"- Then you can rest in the evening -" the Nightmare continued after the Killer's response.

"- We can spend this evening together, -" the Intern suddenly suggested. There were slightly surprised looks at him, but he continued, "- I mean, we could help the Killer relax and de-stress this evening, so that he can have a good rest and go back to normal work tomorrow. -"

"- Hmm, this idea could be tried, -" Nightmare was more interested in how it would come out and what it would lead to. "- What do you say, Killer? Would you like to spend the evening with us? -" he was smiling maliciously.

"- Tempting offer -" in response, he also smiled maliciously. "-It still depends on what we will do -".

"- We can spend the evening at my place, my apartment is small, but I think that's enough for us -" it seems that at the moment Ccino is not embarrassed by his own proposal, but who knows if he will regret it or not?

"- Are you sure? -" the Killer asked doubtfully.

"- Yeah, it's all right. I will enjoy your company. By the way, you haven't really been to my house that often, have you, Killer? -"

"- Well, Yes, it is -" he said.

"- I have animals at home, cats -" on the word "cats" the Killer perked up a little "- I think they will help you to relieve some stress. As far as I know you like cats too -"

"- Yes, it is. Only now I'm envious -" the Killer replied, slightly offended.

"- It's starting -" Nightmare said softly, a little irritated. The Nightmare does not allow the killer to bring home animals, especially since it is a big responsibility, and they still need to take care of this animal, and they do not have time for all this. They disappear all day at work, they come home almost at night, with this mode, the Nightmare doubts that the animal will survive with them.

They were saved from even more questions by the Director's voice calling for them to return to the set.

"- Well, we're leaving, they're waiting for us -" the killer said in a more cheerful voice, throwing away the empty сup of coffee he had drunk.

"- Yeah, it's time to get back to work. -" Nightmare agreed.

"- Well, I'll see you tonight, baby. -" the Killer said, and gave Ccino a quick peck on the forehead. Nightmare also kept up and gave the Barista a quick kiss on the nose.

Ccino stayed where he was, feeling his face start to burn again with embarrassment. He was happy, there was no doubt about it, but he also wanted to cheer up the two guys who were already walking away from him and talking about something.

"- I'll regret this -" Ccino thought. - "Hey!", he shouted, running up to them. They turned and looked at him in slight surprise, about to ask something, but the trainee silenced them with a quick kiss on the lips. When they realized this, they were at first slightly shocked, they did not expect that their coffee boy, who was always embarrassed by any kisses and words, would climb up to them to kiss himself.

"- T-this is to c-cheer you two up when you're on set -" Ccino tried to explain his action quickly and confidently, as it delays them, but with each word he blushed more and without saying anything else quickly left the set.

Nightmare and the killer only looked slightly surprised as the trainee left, then went to the set in high spirits.

"- You're a bad influence on him -" Nightmare said.

"- As if you don't like it when I do it or he does it -" the Killer replied, laughing a little.

"- Fuck you! -" nightmare exclaimed in embarrassment, quickening his pace.

"- Come on, I love you -" the killer exclaimed, catching up with the nightmare and giving it a quick kiss on the temple.

"- Me too... -" he replied, calming down a little, and the Killer's smile widened.

Well, the evening promises to be fun.

(To be continued ???)

I finally finished this part. I really worked on it, and I hope someone likes it. Please excuse the mistakes, my English is not so good. (QwQ)💦

I was inspired by these people: @zu-is-here , @help-im-a-gay-fish , @yuriyuruandyuraart , @kotikaleo , @jann-the-bean .

Thank you for your inspiration and for loving this ship. ( UwU)✨💜💜💜

Killer!Sans by @rahofy-sketch

Ccino!Sans by @black-nyanko

Nightmare by @jokublog

[pffbts]

hi! can I request a jimin fluff where y/n and him lie on the floor listening to the radio together? thank you 💗

―GENRE: fluff; comfort

―CHARACTERS: park jimin x neutral gender!reader | no supporting character

―W.C: 1.2K

―AUTHOR`S NOTE: this reminded me of the requested fic where jimin was a radio jockey :) if you`ve not read it yet, you can read it here! thank you for requesting this even though it`s been quite a while, i hope you like it, bub :) love u <3

[11:12 PM] [the silence only existed for the outside world]

―even though the other side of the world is waking up and the other is filled with silence, your living room was lit up with the crackling sound of firewood & the slow strumming of the guitar from the radio.

with that came the sudden tug from jimin onto your loose fitted t-shirt. “can you sleep?” he asked, his voice soft and bird-like. you shook your head, your eyes still closed while your eyes focused onto to the sound that comes from the radio.

jimin hummed back in agreement.

“what`s this song called?” you asked.

“i don`t know but it sounds cool, right?”

“right, i wish i could loop it.”

“same. but it`s radio so obviously, that`s not in our hand.”

you giggled at his remark. “that`s ironically funny.”

jimin, who lay right next to you beside the fireplace came a little closer to you. he turned around on his left and put his right arm idly on top of your tummy. you who was lying on your back, opened your eyes slowly at the sudden movement. the warm orange light coming from the fireplace which partly illuminated the living room, the back of jimin`s body wasn`t illuminating much on you because apparently, you were completely covered by jimin.

when you turned your head to your right, you met with jimin`s gaze on you.

“oh.” you mouth released a small sound in sudden shock, not at all expecting jimin`s eyes on you at this close proximity. “i thought you were dozing off.”

“hmm no, i`m not in a mood to sleep.”

“then, what do you want to do?”

“watch you, maybe?”

you scoffed at him, your mouth twisting one side to give a subtle smile. “and maybe listen to the radio?” he added.

“i`m sure we`ve no idea what this song is too, right?”

“correct answer!” jimin fisted the hand on top of your tummy and put it up a bit in exclamation.

you laughed this time, a little more enthusiastically. in-between the laughter, jimin put his left arm under your neck for you to have a makeshift pillow and shifted himself more towards you, at such an extent that now half of his face lay against your neck.

“it is cold?” you asked, seeing how jimin was closing off the distance in-between your bodies.

“no, i`m trying to slowly turn you into my side pillow.” he stated, almost mumbling into you ear. you squinted you face, giggling a bit as his breath left a shivering sensation over the right side of your throat & neck. “now! that tickles!” you exclaimed.

“hmm should i shift down?”

“shift down? where?”

“so i can lay my head on your chest & just, i don`t know, doze off to whatever the radio is playing tonight.”

“whatever you wish, just don`t make a tickle. you know i don`t like it.” you said back.

jimin, upon hearing it, he shifted down a bit and now completely wrapped his right arm around your waist while he lay his head upon your chest. “that`s comfortable.”

but you couldn`t hear what he said because you could finally make out what the song the radio was playing this time. “wait, that’s save tonight! by eagle-eyed cherry!”

“eagle what?” jimin asked, lifting his head up from where he was on your chest.

“the song that`s playing now.” you said, “it`s called save tonight, i absolutely love the guitar in this song. it`s lively plus the lyrics, it sounds like us right now.”

“really? i don`t really understand fully but yeah the instrumental sounds cool.” jimin goes back to placing his cheek against your chest while saying that.

“you seem to have made yourself quite comfortable, why don`t you take a nap?” you suggested to him, running your fingers over his faded purple hair. “oh your hair? are you going to dye it black?

jimin didn`t answer this time but instead pulled your left hand which was resting on your left side against his face. you can say, he was face-hugging your palm.

“what`re you doing?”

“connecting to you.”

“huh?”

“your hand is warm & soft.”

“okay….”

“and i feel sleepy. i think your heartbeat is making me sleepy.”

“is it that satisfying?”

“hmmm.”

“then sleep. you can sleep however you want.”

“can i?”

“hmm of course.”

at this point, both of you were simply mumbling and whispering into the air. no one knew if anyone could hear each other. jimin felt like he could keep on doing this all night, this was a really good decision to sleep on top of your chest. the heartbeat sounds so stable & so calm, he thought he never heard an heartbeat like this before. not that he has ever laid his head over anyone`s chest. but still, something told him, this was unlikely.

with you, he has always felt comfortable but nights like this are the best. both of your mutual love just randomly playing radio and just laying on the floor by your fireplace, just whispering sweet nothings. because both of you`re most of the times busy with school and works, nights like this has become quite rare but both of you try your best to utilize even the least of the time to fulfillment.

“min, i hope you`ve set the alarm for tomorrow…” you whisper asked jimin, who you`ve no idea if already asleep or not.

he didn`t answer immediately but took a few seconds to reply with, “tomorrow is sunday, we can stay like this till the morning.”

happiness spread through your body and you smiled gleefully. you pulled the cushion which was lying nearby by your head and put it under your neck. throughout this action, you made sure you made very subtle movement so that jimin doesn`t wake up as he already looked like he was dozing off from the way his breathing has stabilized over your left palm.

you watched the fireplace on your right, which was now completely illuminating your face up. you looked away after watching it a few seconds, put your right hand on top of jimin`s head, patting very nice & slow and closed your eyes, looking away from the fireplace.

the night looked like it was closing in. midnight was in the air. the radio was now playing some slow tracks while the air from the window smelled like it was going to rain anytime. you dozed off while jimin listened to your heartbeats even in his dreamland.

fin. 

[himikiyo]

cityscapes turn to dust // himikiyo week day 1

Himikiyo Week Day 1: Folklore + Magic

“Trying to defy death, hmm? You’re choosing to take the hard road just as I did. If I don’t have enough time left to change your mind, all I can do is wish you luck.”

Korekiyo's actions taking care of their sister catch up to them.

Read on AO3, DRA, or under the cut

They had to travel light these days. With the city so ravaged, it was common to pick up and leave at a moment’s notice, and there was only so much Himiko could carry. Kiyo was much stronger than her of course, but even the essentials weighed a fair bit. Most of her possessions, along with theirs, remained at their house, still locked up tight for the time being. Someone determined enough would still be able to break in, but she tried not to think about that.

Material possessions weren’t as important as a life anyway.

Despite traveling light though, Korekiyo seemed to be getting weaker. She told them they just needed rest, but they both knew that wasn’t it. The last time they visited their sister, she put up a fight. Perhaps she knew what was coming, and recognized the sickle in their hand. Either way, she bit them again. Maybe that was the final exposure their body could take after holding out so long.

Their arm was wreathed in broken veins, a sickly purplish crown centered on the bite mark. The imprint of each and every tooth was still clearly visible over a week later whenever she checked under the bandages. She picked her opportunities carefully, when they were half asleep or in a particularly good mood. That way, she hoped, they wouldn’t be quite so upset about how cold it was to remove any layers.

She checked every night to make sure they were still breathing. It was getting harder to tell.

---

People still tried to avoid saying the word zombie. Euphemisms were used: infected, changed. Sometimes there was no more than an indirect reference, like the grandmother who told her that “some of them” drove her out of her home. Maybe it was a foolish desire, since this elderly woman had clearly done well enough for herself to escape that, but Himiko wanted to help her.

“Why don’t you stay with us?” she asked. “Just for a little while. We don’t have much, but it’d be safer than traveling alone.”

“Thank you, dear,” the woman replied, adjusting her shawl. “But I like my chances. I’ve made it this far. If you’ll accept some advice from an old woman...” She trailed off momentarily, casting a meaningful glance at Kiyo. “You may want to consider striking out on your own too. There’s something not right about that one.”

“They’ve just been a little sick lately. Once we find somewhere safe to get medicine, they’ll be fine.” The lie tasted bitter on her tongue, but she couldn’t stand saying anything else. Without Korekiyo, she was sure she’d be long since dead.

“Sick? Or changing? Sometimes the hardest lesson to learn is when there’s nothing more to be done.”

“No, that’s not—” She broke off, swiping miserably at her eyes. Kiyo still sat in the corner. Wearing three sweaters to fight a mild early autumn chill, they gave off the impression of an especially gangly marshmallow. It seemed like they were oblivious to the conversation, but Himiko knew better. They always observed more than people gave them credit for.

“Don’t let your friend suffer, dear.” After pressing a small, paper-wrapped package into her hands, the grandmother left. Himiko watched until she vanished from view, hoping she arrived safely to wherever she was headed.

---

“So,” Kiyo said some time later. “When are you planning to kill me? She gave you everything you need to do it, didn’t she?”

“What? No, I’d never. You know I’d never do something like that.” Perched on the edge of the couch they were laying on, she combed a hand through their hair. It helped her fight the urge to rest it on their forehead and see how much their temperature had dropped.

“Yet you encouraged me that putting my sister out of her misery was the right thing to do.”

“That’s different. She wasn’t herself anymore.” As always, she bit back the part about how even with her full mental faculties, that would have been what she deserved.

“Any day now, you might come to find that I am not myself anymore either. Then I will no longer be able to cooperate with your attempts to do it painlessly.”

“That won’t happen,” she argued, fingers involuntarily tightening in their hair for just a moment. “If it was going to happen, it would have already. That was, what, the fifth time she bit you or something? It’s like you told me that first day I found out the truth. You’re immune.”

“Immune.” They scoffed, face contorting into something between a grimace and a scowl. “That was never anything but a lie I allowed myself to believe. I’m not immune. I’m dying.”

“No, you’re not,” Himiko mumbled. She inched closer to them on the couch, laying her head on their bony shoulder. Through sweaters and blankets, it almost felt soft. “I won’t let you.”

“Trying to defy death, hmm? You’re choosing to take the hard road just as I did. If I don’t have enough time left to change your mind, all I can do is wish you luck.” Numb fingers tugged their mask down to press a kiss to her forehead. The old, scarred-over bite wound on their neck was taking on the same purplish hue as their arm.

---

She woke up the next morning with her head resting on their chest. She couldn’t hear a heartbeat.

Shinguuji Korekiyo was dead.

After she came to that realization but before she could figure out what she should do about it, they stirred, feebly trying to shove the blankets off.

“Too hot,” they mumbled, rolling over (or trying to — the attempt wasn’t very successful with half her weight still on them).

“Kiyo?” It had been weeks since they had anything temperature-related to say that wasn’t complaining of being too cold. Not to mention the bigger issue of their lack of vital signs. Straightening up fully, Himiko leaned over them to meet their eyes. They were groggy and unfocused, but they clearly seemed to recognize her.

“What? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I guess I have in a way,” she responded, choking out a shaky laugh. “You.”

They sat up slowly, giving her a perplexed look. Did they not even realize what was going on? Surely they had to feel different. She reached out and laid a hand on their chest, just to be certain. Was she so exhausted that she just missed it before? After flexing their wrist, stretching their arm — stiff, maybe from the lack of blood flow? — they overlapped her hand with their own.

“I see. I didn’t imagine becoming a zombie would feel so pleasant.”

“Pleasant? How can you be so calm?”

“I actually feel better than I have in quite some time,” they admitted. “It’s rather comfortable. I do seem to have a certain degree of numbness, but it’s a worthwhile exchange to be free from all the recent pain and discomfort I’ve experienced. Considering my mind seems to be intact, at least as much as I can tell from my own biased perspective, death might not be so bad. If nothing else, it gives me something new to study.”

“Oh. Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better, but I don’t know if it’s normal to accept something like this so quickly.”

She was forgetting, of course, that Kiyo had never quite been normal.

---

Over time, it became clear that them saying they had “a certain degree of numbness” was a bit of an understatement. If she happened to touch them when they weren’t looking, they only seemed to notice about half the time. Their pain tolerance, already high, had increased to such an extent that it was very possible for them to sustain serious injuries without noticing. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like they were in any danger of dying again.

They were still capable of healing, just at a slower rate than a living person. The bite wounds were gradually becoming less evident, flesh repairing itself in defiance of the laws of biology.

That didn’t save her from the unpleasantness of acting as their doctor.

Her first lesson in zombie surgery was a jarring one. The glass shards embedded in their leg likely could have been avoided if they had as much feeling as they used to, but there was no point in agonizing over could have beens. The good news was that they barely seemed affected, glancing down at the heavy wounds with little more than bemused intrigue.

“Ah. I thought something stung a bit. We should probably take a moment to deal with this,” they said smoothly.

“Um, yeah, probably. It really doesn’t hurt? You’re bleeding a lot. What if you run out or something? We don’t exactly know all about how this whole zombie thing works.”

“It’s alright,” Kiyo said. “I think. If I can heal from injuries, it follows that I must still be capable of regenerating my blood supply. However, leaving broken glass there could cause problems. You should remove it.”

“Me? Why?”

“You should get used to tending to my wounds just in case there comes a time when I’m unable to do so myself.”

---

She got plenty of practice. Most of their injuries were minor, but she dutifully took care of each one nevertheless. When she really thought about it, sometimes she wondered if they acted a little carelessly on purpose just to give her experience. They’d always teetered dangerously on the edge of masochism, and now there was the added temptation of learning more about zombie physiology to boot.

Sure enough though, that time Kiyo mentioned did come eventually. So far, it seemed nearly impossible for them to die again, but that didn’t do much to diminish the dread that flowed through her when she saw the exposed muscle and bone of their arm, flayed open like so many of the other shambling zombies they’d seen over the past several weeks.

They grimaced when she started to clean up the wound. It was barely a flicker of pain, but even that was significant considering how much they were able to get through without batting an eye.

“Apologies, dear,” they murmured. “Continue.”

“Sorry. Kind of weird how quickly this has become normal.” She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to their lips before continuing.

Pulling the edges of the wound together and stitching it up nice and securely...She wasn’t the neatest with her sewing, but she was getting better, and Kiyo always insisted they didn’t mind.

“Beautiful work, my love,” they praised, smiling down at their rather Frankenstein-esque arm. “That’s much better already.”

Himiko just smiled, wrapping the arm up again in their usual bandages.

“I’ll always be here to sew you back again. For now, we should probably both get some rest.” They were only a day away from the village of their hopes.

[shishi-tls]

Kanroji Mitsuri’s Secrecy

I’M DONE WITH THIS, FINALLY, BANZAI.

Okay, here’s my surprise (and Christmas present) for everyone. This is chapter 3 of the second novel of Kimetsu no Yaiba (Kataha no Chō). Each chapter’s the story of one character, so it’s not like you missed part 1 and 2 of Mitsuri’s story.

I apologize it took double the time I thought it would take me, I honestly thought about giving up many times ohohoho. But hey, here you have it.

This is a mid-quality translation, I do believe it’s readable, but there’re some parts I didn’t give too much thought and left them as short or simple sentences. I tried, okay? 

This is a fantranslation, there could be mistranslations. Read at your own risk.

Also, typos, grammatical errors, whatever there is, just leave a relpy and I’ll try to fix it as soon as possible. 

 Last thing: if you want to put this up on another website or translate it to another language you’re free to do so, BUT LET ME KNOW, OK?

One Winged Butterfly

Chapter 3: Kanroji Mitsuri’s Secrecy

1.-

The first time I met her I thought ‘wow, such a pretty girl’. 

Pure white skin and clear violet eyes; stunningly beautiful and delicate; kind and doesn’t discriminate anyone. 

But, can create things like poison to kill Demons. 

Strong and intelligent, cute, brave… a lovely girl.

I would be very happy if we could be friends. We are both girls, so there should be a lot of things we could talk about…

That’s why, when I heard about it, my head went blank and couldn’t think about anything.

“Kochō-sama’s parents were killed right before her eyes, and on top of that her sister  Kanae-sama too… dying in such a way…”

Ah….

I didn’t know.

Shinobu-chan. I didn’t know.

“Well you see, I joined the Demon Slayer Corps to find a gentleman who would marry me for life. For a girl, it’s actually better someone who’s stronger than themselves, no? We want to be protected. Hey, Shinobu-chan, don’t you think so?”

If I’d known, I’d never said that.

Such a frivolous reason.

If I had known Shinobu-chan’s past, I wouldn’t have been able to say it.

Ah, how stupid of me. 

When I told her that, how did she feel?

She was a little startled, but then she answered with the smiling face she always has.

‘I see… Who knows. I’m sure Kanroji-san will find someone wonderful’.

It must have been really unpleasant and annoying, right? 

Did she think she didn’t want to be together with such a simpleton?

Hey, Shinobu-chan…

I’m.

You see, I…

2.-

“Kanroji-san’s acting weird?”

Kochō Shinobu tilted her head to the side at her coworker who came so suddenly. 

They’re currently inside her office at the Butterfly Estate, where she –as the Insect Pillar– lives. This is a place where poison effective against Demons is developed and Slayers are treated or nursed after being wounded in battle. Therefore, most visitors are wounded people. 

However, her coworker Iguro Obanai came here without a single scratch and as soon as they met, he started to talk anxiously about the Love Pillar, Kanroji Mitsuri, with a serious face. 

“In what way is she acting weird?”

“Everything, she’s weird all around. You haven’t noticed?”

Iguro makes that question and looks at her as if accusing her for something.

As some sort of signal, the snake wrapped around Iguro’s neck sticks out its long tongue. It’s Kaburamaru, the Snake Pillar’s beloved snake.

“Hmm, well…”

Shinobu with the tip of her index finger softly traces around her upper lip. She tries to remember Kanroji’s behavior in the last Pillar meeting, however…

“Nothing in particular”.

“Just where do you have your eyes attached to?” Are those stupidly big eyes of yours blind? Or maybe just decoratives?”

After some nagging, Iguro made a big sigh. 

Shinobu stopped herself from speaking her thoughts out loud ‘unlike you, I don’t exchange letters with her frequently’ and just smiled and apologized.

“Oh my, I’m very sorry”.

Even though it’s daytime and Demons can’t move around, each Pillar should be very busy as they shoulder a lot of heavy responsibilities. However, he pushed all of those aside and came here, so he isn’t doing this just for show or on a whim. Despite his appearance, Iguro cares about his colleagues more than others. 

“It’s fine if they’re things you saw from your own scope, so could you please tell me what’s so strange about Kanroji-san?”

Once Shinobu asked again, Iguro nodded with an obedient look. 

And then…

“Just fifty”.

“Yes?”

“Normally, she would eat a hundred of those dango sticks, but she only had fifty. You hear me? Just fifty. That Kanroji. Her favorite dangos.”

“……”

Being stared fixedly by his bloodshot eyes right in front of her, Shinobu unconsciously stepped back. Contrary to her, Iguro leaned forward. 

“Moreover, she replies coldly to my letters. Her letters are awfully plain and seem to be written to a stranger. Why? It’s weird. Anything and everything is weird.”

“Aoi, Iguro-san’s already leaving.”

Shinobu turned her back to Iguro, walked to the room’s door and said “Iguro-san, the exit is over there.”

“It’s not just that”.

Despite Shinobu’s sarcasm, Iguro kept talking. 

“In the last Pillar meeting, Kanroji didn’t even try to look at the eyes of any Pillar. And not only the Pillars’, Oyakata-sama’s too.”

Shinobu turned around with a surprised face.

Every Pillar respects and loves dearly Oyakata-sama –Ubuyashiki Kagaya–  from the bottom of their hearts. Mitsuri’s not the exception, she also cares about Oyakata-sama. As far as Shinobu knows, Mitsuri has never opposed his will and would even put him above everything else. It was certainly strange for someone like her to avert her eyes from Oyakata-sama . 

“And after that, Tokitō picked up a handkerchief she had dropped, but when he tried to talk to her she jumped high enough to reach the roof and ran away.”

“Yes, that seems strange”.

If Mitsuri was herself, her heart would have throbbed and expressed her gratitude honestly by saying ‘thank you, Muichirō-kun’.

“Was it then when you first noticed something strange on her behavior?”

“No, she was already acting weird 12 days before that.”

Shinobu was full of retorts at him answering immediately and with such detail, but that aside, this meant Mitsuri has been like this for nearly half a month. 

By all means, this was worrisome.

“There could be something wrong with her health. I’ll try to ask her indirectly, you think about something too. Got that, Kochō?”

After voicing everything he wanted to say and seeing Shinobu nod, he left the Estate. Shinobu, left alone in the examination room, sat down on the chair. There was no need for him to go all the way to visit her, he could’ve just wrote a letter and sent it with a crow. It’s quite charming that Iguro cares about Mitsuri to that extent, but…

“Good grief. When it comes to Kanroji-san, Iguro-san immediately becomes unreliable.”

Relaxing her body, Shinobu let out a short sigh. It came to her mind the cute face of the only other Pillar of her same gender, Kanroji Mitsuri. 

“Shinobu-chan, Shinobu-chan.”

She’s older than her, but has an innocent smile and becomes attached to others just like a kitty would. Thinking about the face that had crossed her mind, Shinobu gently narrowed her eyes.

Outside the windows, the wind blew against the cherry blossom trees and shaked its branches, now with only leaves left on them.

3.-

A thin and soft katana ran in a moonless night, almost as if it was alive.

“Breath of Love, First Style: Shivers of First Love!”

A greatly bended sword cuts a huge Demon up to pieces at lightning speed, its head rolled over the ground. 

Mitsuri exhaled slightly, for some reason she felt her body heavier than usual and her katana wasn’t cutting as sharp as it should. It was distressing, her head was like in a haze.

“Thank you… thank you very much!”

The couple she had saved was thanking her, the man was bowing his head over and over again while the shivering woman asked her

“Are… are you okay?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well… You’re hurt…”

“Oh, no, I’m not…”

Mitsuri noticed the woman was looking at one of her cheeks and wiped it with the back of her left hand. There was blood on it. Seeing this, she finally understood she’d been injured.

“For our sake… because you protected us…”

“We’re really grateful, thank you so much…”

The woman apologized while crying and the man lowered his head once more. Mitsuri waved both of her hands flustered.

“Ah! Don’t worry about it! This is nothing at all, nothing! I’m sorry for making you frightened. But, I’m happy you’re both okay.”

Mitsuri smiled at them and the man was suddenly moved to tears.

“To tell you the truth, my wife’s actually pregnant.”

“Uh… really? You’re having a baby?”

Surprised, Mitsuri looks at the woman who finally shows a smile. Her cheeks which were wet with tears shyly transformed into a smile.

“Yes, the due date should be in around 3 months.”

Her belly did seem plump.

“I see, congratulations. Take care of your body.”

“We owe you our lives, thank you very much.”

The man says his thanks again and afterwards, the couple cuddled close together and disappeared into the night. 

Mitsuri, while watching them until they were out of sight, lifted her hand to her chest. 

Thump thump, her heart pounded. 

If that Demon’s attack had cut that woman’s belly instead of my cheek…

As soon as she imagined it, she found herself terrified.

That Demon wasn’t weak, but it wasn’t very strong too. If I had been myself, I’d have saved them without getting a single scratch.

(And everything would have ended well, without that pregnant woman making such a face…)

The wet night wind caressed her cheeks. Mitsuri gently ran her fingers over the wound.

There was almost no pain.

But she couldn’t help but feel like something very important was falling and spilling over from that opened wound.

4.-

“Sigh…”

Finishing her night round and exposed to the brilliant sunlight, Mitsuri dragged her heavy body through the city. 

She went in her favorite restaurant and ordered some tempura rice bowl, cold soba with dipping sauce, grilled fish with rice and miso soup.

It seemed quite a lot to eat as a breakfast, but for Mitsuri this amount was like a tenth of what she would usually eat. 

Shortly thereafter, tea was brought to her and she sipped it absentmindedly. 

She gave a sigh again. 

Since that time she became eager in disciplining herself and made sure to not have any superficial feelings towards anyone.

In short, she sealed away her love. She’d to give up finding someone who would marry her for life and committed herself to forbid her heart to flutter every day. 

However, it seemed like someone was mocking her because things that would make her heart flutter happened one after another. 

(I wonder why… it’s only at times like this… )

The timing was so bad that brought Misturi to the verge of tears. The last Pillar meeting was specially the worst. 

That day she and the Flame Pillar, Rengoku Kyōjurō, ended up at the same place by looking for a shelter from the rain and he told her “You’re going to catch a cold! Put this on, Kanroji!!”, covering her with his haori. She also saw an unexpected side of the Rock Pillar, Himejima Gyōmei, saying “Namu. Cats are cute…” while carrying in his arms a kitten. Then, she met by accident with the Wind Pillar, Shinazugawa Sanemi, just when he was feeding a stray puppy. On top of that, she spotted the Water Pillar, Tomioka Giyū, taking a nap in the open corridor and waking up with a sudden jerk. Moreover, she tripped but Uzui catched her in his arms before falling to the ground telling her “be careful, don’t go tripping so plainly.” And finally, Iguro inviting her to a newly opened udon shop.

Mitsuri was depressed because she had to suppress her heart from throbbing every time, but she just couldn’t help it. 

… In the end,

“Mitsuri, is something troubling you? If you don’t mind, you can talk to me.”

(I even made Oyakata-sama worry… and when I was leaving, Muichirō tried to tell me something but I just ran away.)

This is the worst.

I got too nervous around Shinobu and couldn’t even look at her face.

(What… am I doing?)

And the final blow: she got hurt while fighting an enemy who wasn’t even part of the Twelve Demon Moons.

Mitsuri dropped her shoulders dejected and restlessly ate her tempura rice bowl brought by the waitress.

(Is it really okay to keep on like this?)

Thinking absentmindedly, she dropped the tempura she had picked with her chopsticks into the bowl. Inside of it there was still more than two thirds of rice left. She should be hungry, but she didn’t feel like eating. In fact, everything she tried to eat was tasteless and felt like chewing sand. She hadn’t felt like this since her first marriage interview was broken off. 

“Kanroji-san, your body shape is the same as other people, but you’ve eight times more muscles than them. In other words, your muscle density is quite high.”

The one who told her this was none other than Shinobu.

“That’s why, you have to eat a lot. People who have more muscles have a higher basal metabolic rate. So please, do at least eat eight times more than a regular human does.”

“But, for a girl… to eat that much, um… won’t people be disgusted? won’t I be disliked?”

“You don’t have to forcibly stick with someone who would stop you from taking the nourishment you need. You should just do this to that kind of people.”

Saying that and keeping that lovely smile of hers, she made as though she was hitting someone with her fists.

“Right?”

“Geez, Shinobu-chan…”

Mitsuri had no idea how much those words and smile had saved her.

A few days after this exchange with Shinobu, Mitsuri went with Iguro to have some lunch. She timidly ordered what she wanted to eat. Iguro, who ate the least among the pillars, only asked for tea and something small to eat. In spite of Mitsuri’s fears, Iguro did not reproach Mitsuri for her gluttony, on the contrary, he insisted her ‘eat this too’ and ordered more food.

He was also the one who casually gave her those long striped socks without asking for anything in return when she was too embarrassed to use her uniform, which showed too much skin, and wasn’t able to burn it right in front of the tailor like Shinobu had done.

“Kanroji, so you were here after all.”

Mitsuri lifted her head in surprise at the sound of a familiar voice and saw the very face of the one she was thinking about just now.

She was taken aback by this.

“I, Iguro-san!? Why’re you here!?”

“I was looking for you to talk about something.”

As if it was the most natural thing to do, Iguro took the seat in front of Mitsuri and, for some reason, frowned deeply.

“Kanroji, what happened? That…”

“Uh?”, without thinking, she looked down at her rice bowl flustered. 

“Did I drop some rice?”

Or was she eating sloppily? Oh no, did she have food on her face?

Mitsuri was getting really nervous, however Iguro had questioned her because of something entirely different.

His next words were colder than ice.

“Why is there a wound on your cheek?”

“Ah! This? This is from yesterday’s night round… I got careless and…”

As soon as she replied in a flurry, Iguro’s eyes became immediately slanted. 

Iguro was rather a cool-headed coworker, but seeing him for the first time making such a grim face made her break out in a cold sweat.

(He’s angry. He must be disappointed with me getting injured when I wasn’t even fighting one of the Twelve Moons. What should I do? Is he fed up with me?)

While Mitsuri was earnestly trying to make herself as small as possible, Iguro suddenly jumped to his feet.

“Where is it?”

“Uwaa!”

Mitsuri could only shrug her shoulders as a reflex.

“Where’s that trash.”

“Eh?”

“The trash that ruined your rosy cheeks.”

“Eh…ah, well…”

Mitsuri was about to answer him she had already beaten it, but Iguro interrupted her groaning with deep hatred. 

“That trash deserves certain death. I’ll go now and cut him into small pieces.”

Mitsuri stopped him in a hurry as he was already trying to leave the shop.

“W, Wait, Iguro-san! It’s already gone. Umm… You see, I cut its neck that same night… so…”

“…”

Finally coming to his senses, Iguro stopped his bloodlust and went back to sit in front of Mitsuri again. Then, he covered his forehead with a hand and apologized.

“Sorry.”

And muttered a few words very embarrassed.

“Me of all people…losing my mind in anger.”

“…Iguro-san.”

(So, you were not angry with me…)

On the contrary, he was really worried about her.

She felt her heart slowly getting warmer.

Come to think of it, Iguro has been kind to her ever since she joined the Corps, he would help her whenever she was troubled with something. He, who would awkwardly address her

—Kanroji.

“There’s something troubling you, no?”

“Eh?…”

“If you’re okay with me, I’d like you to tell me.”

“Iguro-san…”

“I want to help you, Kanroji.”

“!”

Her chest tightened and her heart made a loud noise at his sincere voice and serious gaze, but at that instant, Shinobu’s face came to her mind.

“…!! I can’t!”

“Kanroji?”

Mitsuri jumped to her feet and Iguro looked up at her dumbfounded. She couldn’t look at him in the eyes.

“I, I just remembered I have some stuff to do! Sorry. I’m leaving, okay?

Coming up somehow with those words, she thrust her money at the shopkeeper and almost tripped rushing out the shop.

(I’m sorry, Iguro-san! I’m so sorry.)

Even though you are worried about me.

Even though you want to help me.

But, that will only make my heart leap for him…

If that happened, instead of getting help, I would just get stuck in an awful situation. I can’t always rely on him. 

She left the shop as if she was running away from it. 

Several buildings away, she finally calmed down.

(This is something I have to do alone. I can’t rely on Iguro-san forever.)

She slapped her cheeks with both hands with energy.

However, the haze in her head wasn’t cleared in the least.

And then, a few days later— 

“Haaaah….”

Mitsuri’s condition, instead of improving, only got worse day by day. It felt like she was extremely suffocated and her body was as heavy as lead. Maybe this was the reason behind not being able to use the Breath of Love properly. It was clear it has weakened. 

(I really wonder what’s wrong with me…)

Can I keep on as a Pillar like this?

In the end, I’ve only been feeling miserable and got a message from Shinobu to boot.

Please, come to the Butterfly Estate whenever it suits you.

Mitsuri would normally be happy with this kind of invitation, but this time it only troubled her even more.

(What would Shinobu-chan want from me?)

It’ll be too awkward to see her now… but I can't’ ignore her. 

Just when she had started to walk heavily towards the Butterfly Estate, she heard an “ah!” coming from behind her. 

“The Demon hunter… sis*?”  (nee-chan*)

She turned back at the perplexed voice.

“Yeah, I thought so! It’s sis!”

Some time ago, Mitsuri had saved a boy and his mother from a Demon. Today that boy was standing in front of her, with a smile in his tanned face.

“I’m glad. I’ve been looking you forever, sis.”

“Me?”

Mitsuri blinked her eyes.

“What is it? Some advice? Is something troubling you?”

“…”

Suddenly, the boy’s behaviour changed and became aware of his surroundings. Lowering his voice he told her:

“Actually, the restaurant where my mom works is close by.”

It seems he doesn’t want her mother to know about whatever he wants to tell me.

“Mom will get mad if she hears this.”

A mere child just talked as if he were a grown up man.

“Oh my….”

Holding back a laugh, Mitsuri decided to take him to her favorite teahouse which was some distance away from there.

Sitting right outside the teahouse, the boy happily stuffed his mouth with dangos.

“Have you been well? You’re all grown up! You’re a lot taller now.”

“I’m like 15cm taller since that time.”

“15cm. Boys surely grow up fast.”

Mitsuri smiled with a wide grin. She had a younger brother around the same age as this boy and couldn’t help but see him in this child. 

“So? What did you want to talk with me?”

The boy gulped down the dangos and slowly opened his mouth.

“Y’know, I want to be a carpenter.”

“Oh, that’s good. Are you good at making things?”

“Yeah, kind of. My deceased dad was a carpenter.”

“Oh…”

She wasn’t sure how to reply.

However, the boy was attentive to her and kept talking.

“It’s okay, my dad died 3 years ago already.”

He fixed his deep dark eyes on the sky.

“He got swept away by the river and drowned when he was building a bridge. He was a skillful carpenter, but he was a poor swimmer.”

“So that’s what happened…”

Mitsuri lightly bit her lower lip and looked at the boy’s tanned face.

Her mind strongly recalled his mother when she saved both, holding his son with large tears running down her face. Even now she remembered vividly how she kowtowed, bowing her head over and over again.

“Thank you so much for saving my son. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Now that she’d heard what had happened to the father, that memory became a heartrending one. 

“Because of that accident my mom won’t let me become a carpenter, it makes her remember about father. She says she wants me to become an apprentice and live in a haberdashery or kimono shop… but, I don’t want to become one of those. I want to be a carpenter.”

The boy tightened his grip of his hand and continued.

“I’m keeping it a secret from mom, I’m planning to become an apprentice of a boss who was an acquaintance of my father’s. Everything’s been arranged.”

“… Why are you telling this to me?”

Mitsuri asked him confused. They boy hesitated at first but then answered brusquely.

“‘Cuz, sis, you were super cool when you saved me and mom.”

“Eh…”

She was extremely puzzled. At that time, she had just joined the Corps and was a lower ranked Slayer who only had her strength to boast, but wasn’t competent at all. She got cut all over and it took her a lot of time to chop off the Demon’s head. Anyways, she had been desperate. She hadn’t been in a state in which she should receive some flattery or even be called cool.

“But, y’know, I was really weak then! Like, I could only reach a lame victory and… I wasn’t cool in the sligh-”

“You were cool!!”

The boy shouted, cutting off her words.

“You fought with everything you got, for us, for complete strangers. Despite being a woman, you went so far as getting all battered… sis, you were cooler than anyone.”

The boy’s honest words pierced her heart.

Maybe because of his excitement, the boy’s earlobes were turning red as the sunset.

“Seeing you like that it made me think. I want to be like that too, doing what I really I want and be of help to others. I don’t want to give up or regret anything. That’s why, it doesn’t matter how much my mom cries for it, I’m going to become a carpenter and show everyone I can make a bridge that surpasses my father’s.”

“…”

“I was looking for you forever because I wanted to tell only sis about this. Okay then, thanks for the dangos.”

Saying that, they boy ran off. There wasn’t even time to call him out.

His back grew smaller and smaller until he dissapeared in the crowd. 

“…”

Mitsuri stared in a daze at the spot she last saw him…

5.-

“Kanroji-sama, thank you for visiting us. Shinobu-sama’s waiting for you.”

After arriving at the Butterfly Estate, Kanzaki Aoi guided her to the training area with a troubled face. Mitsuri tilted her head while trembling.

(Why at the training area?)

Just as the name implies, that place is a dojo where injured soldiers go through a training regiment to boost their recovery process and also where Shinobu trains herself and her Tsuguko. 

Mitsuri had visited the Butterly Estate before, but this was the first time she was called to the training grounds.

With a worried face, Aoi left her alone and she timidly opened the sliding door to the dojo.

“Umm… Shinobu-chan?”

“Hello, Kanroji-san.”

And there she was, at the center of the vast dojo. She was sitting with two bamboo swords at her side. However, she wasn’t smiling as usual. 

With a frosty look, she grabbed both swords, stood up and tossed one of the swords to Mitsuri.

(…Eh?)

She caught it with her hand reflexively.

Shinobu, still stone-faced asked her.

“Could I ask you for a match?”

Despite making a request, it seemed that Shinobu had no intention of listening to her answer as she readied her bamboo sword and pointed it towards Mitsuri.

“Eh?… Wha- Eh? Shinobu-chan?”

While Mitsuri was confused and not able to understand the situation, Shinobu gave her a sidelong glance and rushed in without making a sound. In the blink of an eye, she closed the distance between them and knocked the sword in Mitsuri’s hands off.

The low pitched sound of the sword hitting the floor resounded in the dojo.

“Just now—”

 Shinobu glanced sharply at Mitsuri who stood still and dumbfounded.

“You don’t even have half of your strength. If you were yourself, it wouldn’t have mattered how low your guard was, you’d have dodged that easily.”

“…Ah… Um…”

Shinobu’s voice had a strict tone, almost as if she was reproaching her. Mitsuri became flustered. 

“It looks like you can’t use the Breath of Love properly.”

“Th- that’s… Um…”

What she said was exactly correct and made Mitsuri more and more dispirited. 

Shinobu let out a soundless sigh and lowered her sword. She directed a chilly look to Mitsuri’s body.

“You look pale and your cheeks are hollow. You haven’t been eating enough to keep your muscles healthy, have you?

“!!”

“I’m not strong as a swordswoman, however Kanroji-san’s different. What makes you an excellent swordswoman is your talent to use a longsword as it pleases you without worries, your incredible flexibility, the strength you got by birth and, above everything else, your overwhelming honesty. 

Mitsuri fell completely silent.

“Kanroji-san.”

Shinobu addressed her emotionlessly.

“Why are you trying to make yourself weaker?”

Her heart jumped from the shock. 

She fearfully looked at Shinobu, who was already looking back at her. 

Mitsuri gulped, but the sound of it felt like another person had done it. 

If she was going to talk, now was the moment. 

But— 

(No… I can’t say it…. I just can’t.)

If she said it frankly, it would just hurt Shinobu. She would make her remember unpleasant and sad things— 

No, wrong. In truth, she was scared of saying it. Mitsuri was deceiving herself by thinking it was all for Shinobu’s sake, when it actually was for her own. She was too afraid of being hated by her precious friend if she confessed, of destroying their friendship and losing a friend.

Mitsuri casted her eyes downwards to avoid Shinobu’s eyes and squeezed her hands. 

(What should I do… Something else, I could tell her another rea-)

At the instant she thought that, a voice sounded in her ears.

— You were cool!!

Ah… 

Mitsuri lifted her head energetically. 

That boy told her she was cooler than anyone when she was still a novice. She had felt a huge relief and was happy they were alive. 

She’d thought she finally found a place where it was fine to stay, aside from her family.

Thank you.

It was actually Mitsuri the one who wanted to say those words. 

(I can’t….I mustn’t tell lies.)

If I do it, I won’t be able to stay here anymore.

I won’t be able to face Shinobu ever again.

(I have to tell her properly… my feelings.)

She shut her eyes tightly, then opened them and looked directly at Shinobu’s eyes.

“—Shinobu-chan, I…”

Just by saying those few words, her mouth went dry. She knew she was speaking in a shrill voice. 

“I… heard it…. from the Kakushi….about Shinobu-chan.”

“….”

Shinobu’d been watching her, still with a cold expression. Even now, there couldn’t be seen any change in her emotions. 

If she really had complete control of her emotions, just how much training did she go through to reach that?

A girl whose parents were slaughtered by Demons right before her eyes and whose beloved sister was snatched away too. 

The pain and sorrow almost made Mitsuri’s heart falter, but she eagerly fought them back.

“… I, was embarrassed at my reason to join the Corps… to find someone special and love… I felt sorry for Shinobu-chan. I thought I shouldn’t be like this, I needed to pull myself together… But,”

Sealing away her love made her surprisingly weak. The connection between her heart and the Breath of Love was deeper than she’d thought. 

“I finally got it now. I can’t do that. I have to become stronger being myself. If not, I won’t be able to protect anyone.”

She became afraid of being hated by those precious to her and as a result she neglected those she was supposed to protect. She unreasonably weakened the power and strength given to her by birth and tried to live in falsehood. All when she’d supposedly decided to live somewhere where lies were not needed and use this power granted by her parents to save as many people as she could… 

“This is me! This is Kanroji Mitsuri!! My heart leaps for many kinds of people, I eat a lot and I’m really strong! … But… I, I—”

“…..”

“Shinobu-chan… I really love you, okay?”

Saying that and before she could close her mouth, Shinobu’s pure white throat started to move slightly.

“Aside from me, there’re a lot of members in the Corps who had their parents snatched away from them by Demons.”

Mitsuri’s heart throbbed in pain at her calm voice.

“Aoi, Sumi, Kiyo and Naho too. Their families were killed by Demons and had nowhere else to go, so they live here with me. 

Mitsuri was hanging her head again, but a soft voice reached her hears.

“However, me and those girls would never be jealous of your situation or loath you because of your reasons for joining the Corps. But, well, I was surprised at first when I heard it.”

“Eh?…”

Mitsuri heard a giggle slip out in the last sentence, she lifted her head in surprise and saw Shinobu with a smile playing on her lips. Their eyes met. 

With Shinobu’s cold expression gone, Mitsuri was warmly wrapped in with her usual gentle smile. 

“Everyone here harbors hatred and grief, and despite licking each other’s wound, we can’t move forward. For us, Kanroji-san’s cheerfulness and smile is what always saves us.”

“Shinobu… chan…”

In Shinobu’s eyes, she could see herself ready to burst into tears.

Her deep violet eyes looked the same as the first time they met, they were the most beautiful thing in the world. 

“So, please, don’t do things like lying to yourself. I really like you as you are.”

Unable to endure it, she clinged to Shinobu who was way smaller than herself. Lukewarm tears were shedded one after another. 

“Shinobu-chanShinobu-chanShinobu-chan!!!”

“I’m sorry for testing you like that.”

“No, it’s fine! Really fine… I was being stupid.”

Still clinging to her Mitsuri shook her head, tickling Shinobu and making her laugh. 

“Please, from now on you have to eat properly, okay?”

“Yeah, I will! I’ll eat a lot. And get stronger!”

“Iguro-san was worried too.”

And added a few more words in a whisper.

‘To the point of being a little overprotective.’

“Yeah, I’ll apologize to him too. And to Muichirō-kun… 

Wahhhh.

Mitsuri cried like a child and Shinobu softly patted her back with her small hand, in the same way one would do it to a baby. 

Then, she murmured.

“—To tell you the truth, I was always jealous. Jealous of your constitution.”

“Eh?”

“If I too had muscles like you, if I was taller… Then…”

“Shinobu… chan?”

“I said too much, please forget it.”

She muttered in her arms.

What was she going to say after ‘then’?

Mitsuri felt like the words left unsaid were full of feelings strong enough to be heartbreaking, feelings which would rather burn down everything.

The only swordsman who can’t cut off a Demon’s head among all the Pillars. 

The body she was holding now felt so fleeting, or rather it was like a child’s, that it made her cry loudly once more.

She promised herself again.

That she’d live without making lies.

That she’d kill as many Demons as possible.

And she’d protect as many smiles and happiness as she could.

So that she can live proudly with her cherished friends in this precious place—. 

6.-

“Kanroji-san, why did you join the Demon Slayer Corps?”

“Uh? Me?”

In the corridor of Tecchikawahara’s mansion, Kamado Tanjirō asked her a question.

This boy, who joined the Corps to turn her sister back to a human, had fiery red eyes. They were really pretty.

He was looking at her straight into her eyes, it almost made her shrink back.

“It’s kinda embarrassing… Oh, what should I do. You wanna hear?”

Mitsuri fidgeted.

Nezuko, who through her Demon Blood Arts had shrunk her boy to the size of a child, looked up at her curiously. Mitsuri gently brushed her black hair. 

“You see…”

— Kanroji Mitsuri continued her story with a smile in her face.

FIN

TL:SoMeBoDY kILL ME

[onf-headcanons]

First time (A Changyoon x Reader fic)

A/n : warning really long post , smut

 Hmm also I wont be specifically writing about hair color for Changyoon, even though I do love his short hair in Sukhimvit Swimming, (and I do picture that hair while writing) but I dont want to not being flexible in settings so I will be keeping a lot details vague this time.

Again English is not my mother tongue even tho its my second language. So please bear with me if my English or my writing is horrible and weird

OK story time let’s go

Quick setting, Changyoon is not your first boyfriend and you are not his either. But in terms of skinship, he is the first as your previous relationships you did not get to go too far.

You two washed up quite early. Having nothing else to do, you and Changyoon decided to watch a movie an streaming apps via TV. He lets you decide while he quickly whip up some popcorn at the kitchen and you just randomly pick one that has a high positive rating.

(It’s a romance genre but you did not knew there is a steamy make out scene in the movie that signifies advancement in characters relationship)

You and Changyoon cuddles on the couch, he is hugging you while you are hugging on a cushion. Enjoying and immersed at watching the characters in the movie in their slow burn relationship.

And then near the end of the movie comes the steamy scene. Changyoon, the usual easily flustered type, goes “Woah, Wah! Mwoyaaaa!! (What the heck!)”, and even lets go of you and covers his eyes with his hands

At the same time you goes “Oh dear.” and laughs nervously.

He suggests you to turn it off but you reply him there is just 10 more minutes left. Seeing you has no intention to turn it off, Changyoon licks his upper lips anxiously and before pursues his lips. His hands now are covering his ears and his eyes are shut tightly.

Seeing Changyoon doing that, you chuckled before turning the TV off. Finding it funny because it’s not like you two never kissed, also finding your BF is cute as he sure is very easily flustered. You reach out your hand to grab his wrist nearby his ear, and tell him you have already turned off the TV.

Upon hearing you, Changyoon opens one of his eyes to take a peek. Relieved when he sees the TV screen is black, then only he relaxes himself.

“Woah, thank god…things nearly get real bad…” Changyoon rubs his face with the palm of his hands while letting out a sigh.

Halfly want to tease him, you gets closer to him and ask “ Come on we are both adults, it was not a big deal.”

“No, its dangerous. Promise me, don’t ever watch stuff like this with other guys.” Changyoon makes a quick glance and then retorts you.

“Why would I watch that with other people?” You laughs because that comes out of nowhere, then another thought strikes you, “Are you being jealous?”

“No, not really… I mean…” Changyoon stutters. You wait for him patiently to find the best words to express himself, then he continues, “Well guys are beasts, thats why you need to more careful.”

“Okay.” you respond.

“Including me.” Changyoon drops instantly after your words ended. You raise your eyebrows upon hearing him. Changyoon finally looks at you in the eye and reaches out to cup your cheek before he goes, “ It will be a lie if I said I never had thoughts towards you.”

“So again, you need to more care-”

Before he could finish his words, his lips are taken by yours. Its just a peck, but since you literally leaped (lightly) to his chest, both of your upper body are pressed against each other with clothes as the only barricade between bare skin. You doing it because you suddenly feels that you want to do it.

It is rare for you to initiate, Changyoon nervously smiles at you when you push yourself backwards, looking at you unbelievingly. “You are the one who DOES NOT need to be THAT careful.” you look at him affectionately while assuring him.

“Did you.. chose that movie on purpose?” With one eyebrow raised, Changyoon voices out his doubt.

“I swear I really did not know about that passionate part in the movie.” You quickly explained that you are innocent.

And Changyoon lets out a sigh again as he knew you are telling the truth.

“This was never how I have imagined it to happen, but…” Changyoon frowns a bit and rubs his face with his palm again, his tone sound serious. “Y/N, can I?”

You promptly agree him and Changyoon pushes himself up. He pushes you up too. “I am serious. But not now, it does not need to be now. You can have a thought about it.”

You lightly bite you lower lip, pupils wandering a bit then you goes, “It is fine even if we do it right now.” 

Changyoon eyes got bigger due to your unexpected answer. “ Y/N, please think about it properly. What did I always tell you?”

If you did not know him well, you probably already shivering because of his sternly-piercing looking eyes. But after some time of interactions you could tell that he is just deeply concerned.

“You need to love yourself more.” you rephrase Changyoon’s words while he is repeating it in front of you. 

“I do take you words seriously, Changyoon. I love you that’s why I do.” You lower your gaze and reach out to place your hands on his and then you gaze at him again.

“I love and know myself well enough to tell you now, that I am ready and absolutely ok with it.” You sound firm, and you tighten you grip.

To your surprise, Changyoon suddenly pounces towards you, making you fell back to the couch. As your back comes in contact with the couch, your lips also make contact with Changyoon’s soft and plump lips.

He is slowly kissing your lower lip and occasionally giving it a gentle nibble while sucking it. His arms are resting beside your head, supporting his weigh, as if he is afraid of squishing you. But then he stops doing that as he moves his hands to cup your cheeks.

Then one of his hand slides to your chin, with a little force added, you let his tongue into your mouth. His breathing got heavier and you can feel it on your face as he exhales. As he is cupping your face, he is also holding you in place, making him had easy access towards you. You respond to him but he is much more passionate than usual. You could not keep up so you just let him lead you and had his way. You relax yourself by resting you arms on the couch.

The kiss was long and passionate, too long in your opinion, you lift you hands and wearily placed at his chest. Changyoon immediately understood the cue and he breaks off the kiss to catch his breathe, kisses your forehead while you are also gasping for air.

Seeing your moisty lips and unfocused gaze, he could not contain himself and leans towards you even before you get enough of oxygen.You whimpered the moment his lips touches yours. This time he did not go easier on you. It is slightly rougher and sloppier. Both his hands are at the sides of your neck, securing you while he immersed in his indulgence.

As he moves back, he frowns while biting a corner of his lower lips. You could tell he is frustrated. But not to the extent that he is annoyed.

“What… was that for?” You barely let your words out as you panted. “Payback?”

“Sorry… did I startled you?” His expression quickly turned to looking worried after he knew he lost his cool. You shake you head.

Changyoon lowers his head and places his forehead on yours, adjusting his breathing and trying to calm himself by keep reminding that it is your first time in his head. You can tell his switch is totally turned on, he is still wanting for another kiss since he keep tilting his head, trying to find an easy angle to land his lips on yours again. But he is hesitating (or maybe he is waiting for you to adjust your breathing)

You finally gain a bit of strength, reach out to cup his chubby cheeks and guide his lips to yours. As both of your lips pressed together for the third time, you wrap your arms around his neck, opening a bit of your mouth as well. He takes that as a sign that he could do more. So he engages another kiss with you once more.

While kissing, Changyoon slides one of his hand down towards the side of your waist and without warning, he hand dig through the fabric of your clothes and his palm comes contact to your skin. He starts to caress your belly moving his palm left and right, not moving upwards just yet. His hand movement had already made you arching your body as response. Unconsciously, loosen you arms let them fell on your chest. 

Changyoon break of the kiss and he takes out his hand underneath your shirt to grab your hand. He kisses your fingers before he whispers to your ear, “Want me to stop?” Such soft and attentive question but it also somewhat feels as if it is the final warning from him.

Overwhelmed by experiencing a whole new sensation for the first time, with your trembling lips and teary eyes, you shake your head.

Changyoon then kisses you forehead and your cheek. Later he pushes himself up to strip his shirt, revealing your favorite thing of his. His WHPH tattoo.

He helps you to take off your clothes while you cooperated. (Should you are female reader, you felt a bit nervous as you recalled that the underwear you are wearing were not the best ones you have. And that moment you kinda regret for making the decision without thinking another step further. But not for long) 

Changyoon adjusts his posture and you are now between his legs, he looks at you for a bit, not making any comments. But his hands are the opposite. He is touching you again. (Female reader part, he is caressing your chest with your bra on). While doing it, he is observing your reaction. 

He leans forward and lands kisses on your neck area. You do not know where to place your hands so you just rest them at the sides of your head, clutching the fabric of the couch tightly while letting out some whimpers.

(Changyoon reaches to the straps of your bra at your shoulders. Sliding them off and then slowly he pushes your bra downwards so that he can have easier access to your breast)

He give your earlobes a few nibbles and soft bites before he move further down to your collarbone. Unconsciously, your hands reach out and rest on his shoulders. Changyoon took it as a possible cue again and he raised his head to check on you again.You shake your head again to let him know it is fine to continue.

Then he kisses your chest while occasionally making eye contact with you. You jolted at his lips touches your skin. He did not stop there, and he starts to tease you using his tongue. He did not neglect the other one, as he plays your nipple with his fingers. The man on top of you letting out soft groans and grunts as he tries his best to please you. 

Conscious of him watching, you hold back your voice by biting your lower lip, your hands fell back on the couch again. But as Changyoon concentrates on what he is doing, you finally could not hold it in, letting out moans unintentionally riling him up even more. Feeling unfamiliar with what you are experiencing, you tried to change the mood by calling out your partner’s name.

“Hmm?” your partner responds

“Say something... would you?” you mutter out your thoughts. He pushes himself up again to look at you.  “This silence is making me embarrassed and it is killing me.”

“But wouldn’t talking too much kills the mood as well?” Changyoon reaches out to one hand of yours, locking his fingers with yours before pulling your hand towards to land a gentle kiss on the back of your hand. “Besides, I don’t like commenting much on someone’s body. You know that.” he continued as he lowers both his hand and yours and places them on your belly.

 While at it, he loosen his grip of your hand and slides his hand downwards. “ Can I?” he asks while kissing you on the side if your neck.

You gave him permission then he stops kissing you and advances his hand further, caressing your private part through your underwear. You don’t really have a hobby of touching yourself and it is the first time someone else doing it. Your hip starts to move and tremble as a response to his slow and sensual touch. “You are wet. I am glad you felt good.” “ Changyoon murmurs into your ear and it gave you chills towards your spine.

He strips off the final clothing of yours and touches you directly. While at it, he moves a bit and lowers his head to take your nipple in his mouth. And then,seeing he is distracting you successfully, he slowly inserts his finger into your entrance.

You jolt and exhale sharply as it is your first time something inserted into you. Unintentionally, your hip is squirming a bit as if trying to escape. Changyoon pushes himself up and places his free hand on your the side of your waist, he did not add any force, but weirdly it did hold you in place. 

Changyoon watches you closely trying to get all the cues from your facial expression. “It’s ok, relax. I am not hurting you.” he adds while advancing his finger further into you. You breathe heavily and relax yourself, he then adds in another finger into you. You just let him take the lead because you trust him understands what he is doing.

Then his fingers swept through a spot, it makes you tingle and your back arch in response. Due to a sudden reaction of yours, Changyoon look at your with a bit of disbelief. To confirm his doubt, he moves back to the spot and ask:” Was it here?”

It caught you off guard and you let out a loud moan as he slowly grinds his fingers towards the spot. “Aah,...” you whimpers in a low trembling voice while reaching your hand to his hand at your private part.

“Am I right?” Changyoon asks again as he presses the spot. Your legs jolt as a result of correct answer to his question. 

Changyoon lean towards you and kisses your forehead, “Should I stop?” he offers but he did not pull out his fingers, instead he is massaging the spot, making you moan even more. You shake your head and only mutter his name as he starts to thrust his fingers into you. 

“Does it feel good?” he confirms with you. You can only nod.

Without any word, Changyoon slides his free hand upwards to caress your chest, teasing your nipples while at it. He only quietly watches you  reacting to his touch.

Your hands are scratching and clutching the fabric of the couch, you are biting your lips hoping to lower down the noises you are making. It riles him up even more, “ Ya, don’t bite yourself. “ Changyoon notices and he leans down to kiss you on the lips. Your let out all your whimpers and moans into his mouth.

The whole new sensation was overwhelming for you. Your mind goes blank and tears rolling down from your eyes. It did not take long for you to experience your first climax. Changyoon breaks off the kiss and pushes himself up to check on your condition. 

Looking at your teary eyes, he wipes away your tears while smiling and feeling proud of himself. He pulls out his fingers from you. You are gasping heavily for air, still processing what has happened. Changyoon pats your head and praises you.

Changyoon reach out to your thighs, lifting one of it trying to spread your legs. You thought he will proceed just like that but he pauses. Then he pushes himself further up and eventually leaves the couch, rushing to the bedroom. You could not understand his actions and you use up all your might to push yourself up, wondering why did he leave.

He then returns with a few condoms, while looking a bit anxious and worried. He is nagging while walking to wards you, “This is why we should plan before doing it, what are you even thinking Changyoon-ah ...”

Seeing you already pushed yourself up, he let out a “Mwoya?” by habit.

You only look at him in a puzzling look.  “I did not have lubricant, and these are the only condoms I have.” he says as he walks near you.

“It might hurts.” he warns. “Are you sure you still wanna do it?” he gently pats your head while waiting you to answer.

You could argue that you are not thinking straight or, you just don’t want him to hesitate. As your breathing get calmer, you reply him while raising your eyebrow playfully, “Well I am just not sure if we should do it on the couch though...”

Changyoon gets your intention immediately and he retorts you with  “Ya, I am being serious here!”

Then he pauses again, you can tell he is thinking. You lean forward, enough distance to reach out his hand and pulls him towards you. In no time, Changyoon is on top of you again.

He knows he could not win you, so he lightly pinches you on your cheek with his free hand. “You asked for it, so don’t blame me later ok?”

He pushes himself up to strip his underwear. You take a condom from him and opens it. Changyoon then takes the condom from you and puts it on. You stare at him and unconsciously swallowed saliva due to nerviousness. (Of course you also felt glad that he is up)

Once he is done, his hands are now at the side of your thighs. You cooperated as he lightly yanks your hip upwards, grabs a cushion to place it under your hip.  He then adjusts your pose so that now you are lying down on your side and one of your leg is resting on his shoulder.

You could feel his bulge come in contact with your skin as you two are now very close to each other. Changyoon guides himself to your entrance, massaging your entrance with his tip so that you can loosen up and take him in.

“Don’t look if you are scared. “ he advises, then he inhales deeply as he slowly enters. He pushes himself in while landing some kisses at your inner thigh. 

 As the pain spreads from inside you, you curl yourself a bit and Changyoon stops advancing. He quickly asks he if you are alright and plans waits for your frown to loosen up a bit before proceeding further in. You nods as a sign for him to continue.

With his at your waist holding you in place, Changyoon gradually move his hip towards you until he has himself all inside you. As he was entering you, he was so concentrated at not hurting you that his lips are pouting unconsciously (and frowning as well).   Once he had everything in, he let out a groan of relief.

You are trembling because you could feel the heat of what is inside you. Uncomfortable is not the word, but it does make you a feeling slightly unease. Changyoon lowers your leg at his shoulder and bends down. His hands let go of your waist. One finds your hand that was clutching couch’s fabric while another hand cups your cheek and he kisses you again.

As he is kissing you, you could feel he is getting bigger inside you. Your cheeks flushes red immediately and you push him off to break the kiss.

“Hey! LEE CHANGYOON!!!” you wail out of disbelief.

“Sorry! But I can’t help it!” Changyoon exclaims. He then rests his forehead at your shoulder and buries his face. He is breathing heavily, as if doing that would lessen the burden you are having now. You reach out to his nape and give him some gentle stroke him to give him assurance.

Changyoon ask you if he can move, and you tell him to do it. He starts to slowly pull himself out and thrust in while his head still resting on your shoulder. He has a good memory of where your sensitive spot is, once he hits it, the tone of your moans changes immediately. 

Changyoon also letting out soft grunts and groans, as if he is harmonizing with your voice.

You could not help but focusing on his movements and his voice, and your voice starts to get louder. You are aware of it and you try to hold back but it was effortless. He does not deny your voice really riles him up. He pushes himself up so that he can observe you. 

Seeing you beet red from your face to your neck, he curses as he increases his pace. With that you lose your composure and just responded at every thrust and every touch where his palm lands.

“Y/N-ah, are you feeling good?” he asks you as thrusting. You could tell from his tone that he is worried if he is hurting you or he is not good enough.

You reach out to his hand that was the nearest you could grasp, interlocking his fingers with yours. “You... are the best.” you reply him and kisses the back of his hand before rest both hands at the side of your head. 

With his free hand supporting his weight, Changyoon lowers himself to kiss your chest, “Let’s cum together ok?” he suggests before he focusing on pleasing you.

You tighten and loosen your grip as additional response to his thrusts. Your could not care about those embarrassing voice you made anymore, and fully succumb yourself to the ecstasy your partner trying his best giving you. 

You two finally climaxed after several thrusts. Your lower body feels numb and heavy. Changyoon relaxes himself and let his weight lands on top of you. His heavy breathing roams around your ear. Also breathing heavily, you loosen you grip towards his hand and throw your arms around his shoulders, hugging him even though you are now weary,

You kisses him on his ear while at it. Changyoon occasionally letting out  groans while he is catching his breath.Then he pushes himself up and pulls himself out. He finally “come to senses” when he sees what a mess you both has made. (Yup the couch fabric is soiled and wet)

You pushes yourself up and he hurriedly helps you up. You are dazed and drowsy for no reason. Changyoon asks you if you need a glass of water or anything. You just wrap your arms around his waist and pulls him closer towards as a sign for him not to leave just yet.

He is surprised at you being a bit clingy. But he hugs you back and pats your head. “Did you enjoyed it?” Changyoon asks you timidly. “ I hope I was not being rough.”

You shake your head and lift up your head to kiss his cheek. “Yes.” you reply to him

“I love you.” you add

He pats your head again and with a loving tone, “I love you too.”

A/N: Thank you for all who reads until the end. Anon that requests this, sorry that it took so long. Actually I already has an idea of writing changyoon smut before you sending the request, but I really not content of my initial structure at all. I had to let idea slowly mature as time pass so that I do not look like repeating what I wrote.

[eurodynesass-moved]

Champion of the Streets

A brief look at V in the fight with Razor, before Vik takes care of her in his clinic and they... celebrate. 

Female V / Viktor Vector

Minor spoilers for Beat on the Brat.

Ao3

— — — — — — — — —

There was fire in her blood. There was a raging flame threatening to burst through her and she channeled it all into her bones and her muscles as she sat down in her seat. Having just walked away from Coach Fred's offer, V was trying hard not to let her anger consume her. After all this time, pumping her up for the final fight, the big fight, to tear her down with a coward's offer—it was pathetic and humiliating. To think that he never believed she could defeat Razor to begin with, it was infuriating—

"Easy now," she heard a familiar voice say. "You'll burn a hole through his skull before you even get a chance to fight."

She turned to see the man kneel before her, something along the lines of relief washing over her. Viktor. She could not believe that he was there. He wasn't the one that had directed her to these fights, but he knew about them and encouraged her nonetheless. Now, in the final moment when it mattered, he was right there. He wasn't the coach she had been speaking with, but she was certainly more interested in what he had to say right now than anyone else.

He must have seen how she looked, all halfcocked, nervous and angry, and he did not ask her why. Instead, he gave her a few tips for comfort, as well as pointers to defeat Razor. She could have kissed him for that if it weren't for the fact that they were in the ring right then and there.

When finally standing up from her seat and kicking it off the stage behind her—and looking good doing it—she remembered Viktor's words that rang in her mind. Don't let me down now, you hear?

Well, after he had asked her so nicely, she wasn't about to say no.

The bell rang and the fight began, V staying mobile on her feat and watching the large man in front of her. She was much smaller, in terms of height and muscle. She was able to quickly dash away from his charges and stay out of the way. Occasionally she could spot Viktor from the corner of her eye, away from the ring but keeping watch.

She then focused on Razor and dodged a swipe from him, ducking to give herself a decent angle for a strong right hook, right into his abdomen. The man stumbled backward with a grunt and she smirked, kicking off towards him.

—

It was almost as though she blacked out during the fight and woke up only when she stood above Razor, on her two feet, having emerged victorious. There, in the ring, she glistened brightly under the neon lights. Her sporty crop was soaked with sweat, blood and dirt, her braided hair had partly come loose and stuck to her face in tiny curls. Her nose was definitely bleeding still and something in her mouth kept burning and leaking.

Her chest heaved in quick, rapid breaths as she looked down at her own two hands. Hand wraps now red and brown, threatening to come away, her hands were shaking violently, and yet she was as confident in herself as she could have been in a very long time.

Stepping out of the ring, she ignored the crowd and glanced at Coach Fred, placing one bloodied hand on his shoulder and giving him a nod. She was still not okay with him trying to convince her to sell herself out, but he did bring her the opportunity to get this far.

Still, she did not linger. V scanned the crowd to find that familiar pair of eyes that she had looked into just before the fight, finding one smiling Viktor staring right back at her. V turned to the side, spitting out her blood out of necessity before deciding to get anywhere close to her friend.

Once he reached her, he held out his hand and she took it in a strong clasp. They laughed and pulled each other in for a congratulatory embrace. He held her for a second longer than she expected, not that she minded, before finally pulling away to look her in the eyes.

"You actually fucking did it," he grinned a wide, boyish grin, shaking his head slightly.

"Did you ever doubt I would?" she put her hands on her hips, raising a brow.

"Not even for a second, sweetheart," he assured her.

Before her mind could linger on that word again, a different voice caught her attention. She looked behind her as someone asked to take a photo of her, something about wanting to write about the fight. She did not pay too much attention to it, only wrapped an arm around Vik's shoulders as well as she could at her height, and made a peace sign with her other hand. Viktor, to her surprise, did not fold his arms like he normally liked to do. His right arm went around her, his hand now resting on her right shoulder and keeping her close.

Once the picture was taken, she looked up at him from where she was and did not pull away. "Thank you for believing in me, Vik. I wouldn't have made it without you."

"Nah, kid, you'da made it even further without another word from me," he shook his head. "That was all you, I just made sure you remembered that you had it in you."

Before V could say more, she cleared her throat and felt more of her blood pooling in her mouth. She made a gesture with her hand so as to tell him she needed a minute, before promptly spitting more blood out.

"Fuck," she cursed, wiping her mouth with her wraps.

"Let's get you back to the clinic for a quick look-see, shall we?" he offered, keeping a respectable distance from her.

She smiled and gave him a sheepish nod. "Yeah, maybe we should."

—

Walking into the clinic somehow felt more like a breath of fresh air than it did while being outside, pollution notwithstanding. V took her usual steps, plopping herself down on the chair while Vik brought out something to help with the pain and the daze. He also brought over a couple of glasses, pouring them a little drink to mark the celebration. He did not sit in his stool this time, instead stepping in rather close so that he could help clean her up. He set down a tray with the things he might need right beside her on the chair.

"Seeing you fight out there," he began, unwrapping one of her hands. "Made me wish I'd been there for the other fights too. You really got somethin' in ya, kid, that just does not quit."

"What can I say, I have all the right people in my corner," she chuckled, but melted a little at the smile he gave her.

"Well, the smart ones'll know to keep rootin' for ya," he replied, now unwrapping her other hand. After a moment, he examined her knuckles and fingers, finding a few scrapes and bruises but nothing too serious. With one gentle stroke of a calloused thumb against the back of her hand, he nodded. "Hands seem fine. Anything hurting in there that I should know about?"

V was finding it extremely hard to look away from him at that moment. "No, just the knuckles."

"Good," he muttered, setting her hands down in her lap before tilting her chin up a little. "Now for that nasty cut on your cheek," he spoke softly. Viktor stepped away momentarily, moving about his clinic and coming back with a rag and a bowl of water. He slowly began to wipe away the dirt and blood off her face and neck, taking extra care with the area around her wound so that he could disinfect it and patch her up.

In all that time, his touch and gestures were gentle, soft. His eyes were laser-focused on every inch of her. Her mouth ran dry at the thought of all that attention he put toward helping her.

He himself wasn't entirely lost on the looks she'd been giving him. It was no secret that they cared about each other, but to what extent she cared for him, he didn't know. He had a hunch, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to be wrong or right. He said nothing about it though. She needed to clean up, he was there. That's all this was.

"Your nose," he observed. "Definitely bruised, popped a few vessels, but thankfully it's still intact."

"I'm told it's one of my best features," she joked, slightly wincing at the touch.

"Hmm," low laugh rumbled from him, tingling her insides something fierce.

She could tell he wanted to say something more, but had probably chosen against it. Shame, she thought. Maybe if he had, she could have told him some of her favorite parts of him. V then had a thought. Sitting there, in the safety of his clinic, after the night she'd had, to celebrate it by his side was the best thing she could have been doing.

There may have been more that she wanted. It was a night of achieving the impossible, after all. Maybe... just maybe...

"Alright, V. That's you all set," he told her, ready to step back as he cleared his throat. "Unless you've got anything broken or sprained that you haven't told me about," he added in jest.

An idea sparked. "Actually, I think I took a few good hits in my ribs. Can you check those?"

She could see the freeze in Viktor's stance, but he moved closer once again, giving her a quick nod. He observed her skin, motioning her to lean back a little so that he could see better under the light. "Nothing looks bruised. Does it still hurt?"

V watched him as he studied her, his fingers gently poking at each rib to see if there was anything broken or cracked underneath. He'd find nothing of the sort, but she couldn't help herself anymore. Sitting there, slightly leaning back with him hovering just over her, V decided to take a leap of faith. She looked him in the eyes as she moved her leg slightly, letting it brush slowly against his. Viktor did not look down, but he did make eye contact with her again.

There was a visual bob in his throat as he watched her carefully, seeing that she did not blink even once while doing this. V slowly straightened herself up again, and the more she did so, the closer to him she got—he was not moving an inch. His hands remained where they were, at her sides and with his fingers slightly tracing her ribs.

Viktor thought about speaking, stepping away, doing the right thing. He wondered if he was seeing it wrong, or if she really was looking him in the eyes so intently that his heart might give in. Looking her over right then, busted cheek and lip, bruised nose and body, chaffed hands—she really did remind him a lot of himself, and had a live, wild spirit within her that he could not deny he was attracted to.

So he stood, frozen and uncertain as she moved herself closer and closer to him. Little could have prepared him for what came next, not even the times he had spent imagining that very moment.

V pushed herself up, her cheeks flushed pink merely at their proximity, and kissed Viktor. She grazed her lips gently against his, as though she were inviting him to join, and that he did. She felt him return the kiss with passion, hands now pressed flat against her sides.

Swinging her leg around him, she attempted to nudge him to step between her legs, but he had a different idea. His hands grabbed her by the hips, sliding her body closer to him in the position that she had been hoping for. She pulled away from the kiss with a small gasp just to look at him.

"Huh," he breathed, a smile teasing the corners of his lips. "Who woulda thought..."

"What?" she uttered.

"That you woulda ever wanted to go for someone like me," he admitted.

Her heart broke a little inside. "There is no one like you," she moved her hand to his cheek.

"V..." he murmured, but had no time to say more when he felt her soft lips move against his once more. He sighed into the kiss, holding her and giving in to the taste of her. There was a hint of metal from her lip, something that made him chuckle.

His tongue pushed against her lip and she happily obliged, letting him in and tasting all of him. The drink he had set out for them before could still be tasted on him, something absolutely irresistible in that. V then let her hands roam across his shoulders while he held her tight. A small nudge of her legs to move him closer had his crotch digging against her, making him groan into the kiss.

V smirked at that and kept her legs wrapped around him to steady herself while she slowly ground her hips against him. She let out a soft moan, forgetting how much easier it was to feel things through loose sweatpants. She felt his grip on her tighten and his breathing quicken. He cursed against the kiss and pulled her up off the chair, making a small squeak of a gasp come out of her—a sound he'd never heard from her before.

He looked at her and grinned just as she broke into a quiet laugh, and slowly, Viktor walked them around the clinic, accidentally slamming into one of the tables along the way. He groaned, feeling the metal corner bang right into his thigh. Vik cursed at the table all the while V tried to suppress her quiet giggling. He raised a brow at her.

"You find that funny?" he asked her, right before the two of them fell into the couch. Another yelp sounded from V, and then a soft grunt and a thud at the impact. Her hair was now all over the place, her braid slowly but surely coming loose, so Vik decided to help with that. He reached over and tugged at the hair tie that kept it all together, threading his fingers into her hair to set it all free. He then carefully, slowly stroked all the strays out of her face, leaning in again to kiss her.

Gentle fingers gingerly plucked at whatever buttons still remained done on Vik's shirt, slowly pulling it free and down his arms. As he got up on his knees, she pushed herself up to join him, continuing on with his tank top. The years of heavyweight training and boxing had continued to show their mark on the curves and creases of his muscles, making V let out a low whistle.

"You been holdin' out on me, Doc?" she asked him, her voice low and sultry.

He smirked at her, "Only leavin' the best for last."

"Well it's only fair I return the favor," V purred, tugging at the hem of her tight crop.

As she began to pull it, his fingers caressed her ribs in an instant, burying themselves under the fabric to help push it up and over her. As his hands roamed up, his thumbs grazed over V's breasts rather slowly, until finally they helped take her shirt off completely.

On her knees in front of him, hair a mess around her shoulders and just above her breasts, which were ample and inviting, Vik could feel himself twitch in his arousal. "Fuck, you're so beautiful sweetheart."

"Y'know I always secretly loved it whenever you'd call me that," she confessed.

"There is so much more I could call you, if it'd make you happy," he sighed, his lips on her body in an instant.

She plopped onto her back once more, Vik above her without missing a beat. He took in her scent, the remnants of the fight still lingering and mixing with whatever sweet soap she had used that day. His lips trailed with sweet kisses down her neck and onto her chest, her breasts fitting nice and warm in his mouth. A moment later, he was grazing her nipple with his teeth, turning one of her sweet moans into a sharp gasp.

He moved on to the other breast, sending his right hand down her belly and to her abdomen, resting it there for a moment. The sheer warmth of his palm made her ache, her mind suddenly extremely aware of where that was headed. Vik looked up at her just in time to lead his fingers down, lower and lower—missing the spot and roaming down her thigh instead.

"Fuck you," she whispered, tilting her head back in frustration.

His left arm had been keeping him propped up, but he shifted in place so that his hand could reach her hair. Burying his digits within the long, soft locks, he looked her in the eyes and watched. Watched as he slowly brought his hand back up her thigh, watched as his thumb poked at her folds, then watched as it pushed against her clit, circling it nice and slow.

He then continued to stroke her through the fabric of her sweatpants, once, twice, a few times more until he could not take it anymore. He couldn't look away while she looked him in the eyes and stroked his jawline with her thumb, while she traced that long scar on his chin and moaned against his touch. Vik bent down to take her lips in his, swallowing up those delicious sounds of hers in a sweet kiss just before he could move completely away from her.

There was a small sound of protest from her, but he motioned her to follow. Once they were both on their feet, he reached for the underside of the couch, pulling on a metal bar that unlatched with a tug. Seconds later, they were looking at a rather spacious pull-out bed and they wasted no time returning to their previous position.

This time, Viktor tugged at her pants with a sharp pull, nearly pulling her along with it as he undressed her. God she was absolutely stunning, and completely naked before him. How he had managed to keep his hands to himself for this long, he did not know. Seeing her reach her hands out to him, he moved over her and smiled.

"How's my Champion of the Streets doin'?" he asked her, fingertips teasing the trail to her apex.

"She's about to lose her damn mind, Doc," V urged, one of her hands gently squeezing his forearm to go further.

Who was he to argue?

His fingers now touched her without any obstruction, feeling just how wet she was for him. He ran a single finger along her slit, just barely pushing past it before rubbing along her most sensitive spot. The strokes began nice and slow, but he soon moved with purpose as one of his fingers sunk into her. She was hot and welcoming, her back arching as those little nerves, both inside and out, were slowly and steadily stimulated with the gentlest touches. He inserted a second finger into her, feeling her, focusing on her, her little gasps, her breathing, the colorful variety of emotions displayed on her face.

Viktor had seen enough of those emotions to know just how evocative she was when it came to feeling strongly about something. Never had he imagined he'd start to see a picture painted in his mind of just how she felt about him, how he could make her feel. Her hips began to sway and thrust along with his motions the more he teased her, and he watched as she shut her eyes and began to bite her lower lip. It took everything in him not to bite it himself, just wanting to see her free in her own world when he'd make it explode.

And explode, it did.

He pressed the length of his fingers against her when he thrust them in, making sure they stroked against her clit with each and every move. Occasionally, he'd thrust them deep and let his thumb do the work on her, only to then focus on her insides once more. Eventually, her body couldn't handle it anymore. Her legs pressed tightly against one another, her lower body twitching and throbbing against his fingers. The sweet song that had become her moaning became louder and raspier as V could no longer care about what kinds of sounds she was making. Her chest heaved along with her breathing, making her gorgeous tits rise and fall just beneath him.

Vik leaned in to press a kiss between them, then one right at her throat, until she captured his mouth herself, her moans now turning into tired hums and huffs. He gave her a moment to catch her breath, to wind down a little from her high, before he could even think about continuing. She thought of it before him, it seemed, as he suddenly felt one of her hands stroking along his hard length through his pants.

He shut his eyes, sounding a quiet breathy moan in response to the pleasant surprise. V wasted no time pulling at his pants, so he helped her kick them off immediately. She had to take a second to appreciate just how turned on he was by just kissing and touching her. With gratitude in mind, she took him with her hand, slowly feeling every inch of him with every stroke, readying him for her.

She could hear his pleasure through how heavy he was breathing, through the bobbing of his throat, through the tightening of his fingers around her hair. V smiled at him and whispered, "Let me return the favor."

After a few more seconds of reveling in the pleasure, Vik finally looked at her again and shifted in place. "Maybe next time," he told her. "Tonight's about you," he muttered just above a whisper in a voice that sent a shudder through her body. Pushing off from beside her, Vik reached out for a nearby cushion to tuck it underneath her. He lifted her—without any effort, she noted in excitement—and tucked it comfortably underneath her ass.

Her legs rested around his waist while her hands laid on her own stomach. He took them in his, kissing each of them once and letting go so that he could settle in between her legs. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders and she pulled him in for a sweet kiss while she felt his hand guide his cock to her. He did not enter right away, still lubricating himself by way of teasing her entrance, nice and slow. As much as he loved what it was doing to her, he was driving himself crazy in the process.

"Vik, please," she breathed. "I want you inside me."

The throb in his cock at those words ached. He did not hesitate, pushing himself slowly past her folds and deep into her. Vik cursed out a moan, mumbling something about her being so tight around him. V must have agreed as she gasped and dug her nails into his back. After settling inside her a moment, he slowly pulled himself out to the tip, then back in, over and over until they grew accustomed to each other.

In the matter of a few minutes, Viktor had one hand at her leg to keep her steady as he thrust into her harder and faster. V began to pull his hips into her with each trust, holding onto his back and shoulder for dear life as he hit that spot of hers, over and over. Somewhere between being overcome by the pleasure, and between losing herself in his hold, she sent one of her hands to her clit to aid in that regard. It took very little when accompanied by him and his motions to send her into yet another wave of release.

Her walls tightened and throbbed around his cock, he became certain very quickly that her next release might just be the end of him. Partway through his thrusts, he wrapped his arms around her back and pushed himself up to a seated position with her on his lap.

V let out one loud moan, feeling him sitting so deep inside her. She ground her hips back and forth, feeling him push against her core over and over when she moved at just the right angle. When he began to thrust along to that rhythm, V buried her head into his shoulder. What was intended to be a kiss turned into a nibble, which turned into a bite. Vik groaned in either pleasure or pain, she couldn't quite tell, but she did leave a mark from the intensity of what she felt.

Suddenly, Vik was holding her rather tightly, keeping her steady as his cock pounded into her. He was getting closer and closer, she could feel it. His breaths were shorter, more vocal, his fingers digging into her body in his grasp.

"Viktor," she moaned, nibbling his earlobe before she called to him again. "Oh, Viktor."

He let them fall back against the bed as he thrust into her—hard—calling her name as he released his load right into her, letting ecstasy take over his senses. His hips slowed to lazy rolls while he rode the waves of his orgasm, his arms doing everything they could not to let his body slump over her.

Though, he wasn't entirely sure she couldn't simply toss him aside, after the severe round of ass-kicking she showed off in the ring. Vik laughed breathlessly against her skin, remembering what had lead them here in the first place. It seemed so surreal to be laying with V, of all people, in his little makeshift den, of all places.

When he pulled away to look at her, V was flush with sweat and had pink all across her skin, but particularly her cheeks and nose. She moved some of Viktor's hair out of the way and kissed him once again, a tired sound of contentment humming in her throat.

"Only took you the better part of a year to finally do that," she grinned, looking at his face in her hands.

"It only took you beatin' Razor's ass outta that ring tonight for me to realize how stupid I was to wait this long," Viktor shook his head. "Truth is, I... I didn't wanna ruin a thing."

"And is it?" V raised a brow. "Ruined, that is?"

"Like I said," he smiled at her. "I was real stupid."

V could feel her heart almost implode at his smile. She pushed herself up so that her lips grazed against his only slightly.

"Then I guess we gotta make up for lost time."