#(Q is gonna fuck him so good that night it's NOT a reward 007 it's just cuz he feels like it! (they both know it is a rewards :p))

[halfbaked00q]

okay watching/rewatching that clip from Spectre has me realizing a critical oversight- I have been making Q too suave and cool and unbothered in my head. like he is that and can go toe to toe w 007 BUT ALSO. he's a massive fucking dork, oh my god.

reconfiguring my internal schemas to include the fact that he tells the absolute WORST dad jokes and is also the only one to laugh at them because he finds them genuinely funny. Bond will give him an indulgent smile or two because he finds it endearing that Q finds them so funny but will NOT laugh at them, because they are NOT funny, lmao

[silverynight]

Nothing breaks like a heart

Chapter 1

Some people change... But only some of them. Q thought Bond had changed when he left with Madeleine, but then he came back to MI6 without the girl.

"It seems he'll never take anything seriously..." He comments the day he returns, but at night and sitting in a pub with Moneypenny. They have become really good friends in the past few years.

"I don't know," she mumbles, playing with the glass of whiskey in her hands. "I think what they had was not even real from the beginning."

"What do you mean?" Q isn't normally this curious about the personal lives of his double ohs, but he's always intrigued when someone suggest he's wrong about something.

"Bond was tired of everything and wanted (or thought he wanted) to leave MI6 for good while Dr. Swann was desperate to run away from her past and start over. They both were each other's ticket out... But that's not enough when it comes to relationships."

Q presses his lips together, not entirely convinced. Because Bond is Bond and he flirts with anything that moves and he always leaves.

Always.

He has changed; he has allowed Moneypenny to know him better and he trusts her as much as someone that works for MI6 can trust another person.

Just a few years ago Q rejected the idea of having a casual relationship and tried to find a man to live with but his past relationships always ended up bad, mostly because of Q's job and the secrets he had to keep.

So a few months ago he gave up on that and decided to have only casual relationships.

It seems it's the only option for someone in his position.

"Hello, Q! Are you still with me?" Eve chuckles and the man has to blink a couple of times to finally come back to the present. "I was saying that the man over there hasn't stopped looking at you since we got here."

She's right. And the man is really handsome, brown hair and broad shoulders. The man could carry Q easily...

"Do you mind if I–"

"Not at all, have fun."

He knows there's a reason why he loves Moneypenny so much.

***

Q is not sure why 007 likes to be in Q-branch when he's not on a mission. Boredom is the logical response, although he has no idea what a double oh could find interesting there.

The other agents just go there when they're gonna receive new toys and even though they like the weapons they always seem like they're desperate to walk away from there.

Not Bond. The man likes to make minions nervous it seems and act like Q's shadow just to annoy him, touching things he is not supposed to.

Always with a grin on his face.

"You don't have a mission, 007."

"No, I don't," he smirks, leaning over the Quartermaster's shoulder to see what he's typing. "And my name is James, in case you forgot."

"You don't have to be here."

"You're right."

To calm himself, Q decides not to look at Bond's smug expression and focuses on preparing everything for 006.

"Why are you wearing a scarf?"

No, he can't blush... He's not going to give 007 the satisfaction, especially knowing that's exactly what he wants.

"I'm cold," he says, not even blinking after saying that awful lie.

"No, you're not," there's a bit of irritation in the agent's voice now. Still, Q decides not to look at him.

Normally Q doesn't let anyone mark him, because he doesn't want curious eyes to look at him at work, but he was so distracted he couldn't stop him. He thinks the man's name is Arthur, but he's not entirely sure.

"At least you had fun?" Q doesn't see it, but Bond's eye twitches before a hollow smile replaces it.

"Yes," he says, deciding that it'd be useless to start an argument about the importance of minding one's business.

Since 007 keeps walking in Q-branch like he owns it, Q decides to make something useful of his visits.

"Congrats," he tells the agent, putting a couple of documents on the desk where he can see them. "M gave me permission: I'll be testing my new toys on you."

The main objective is to scare him off, but even after 007 smiles with interest at him, Q knows that's not going to make him leave.

"You can do whatever you want to me, Q," the agent purrs.

The Quartermaster tries not to roll his eyes; he knows Bond uses flirting like another weapon and he doesn't mean it.

"Great," he says instead, without even blushing. "I should have recorded you in case something goes wrong. So everyone knows you actually agreed to this."

Instead of looking worried, Bond laughs and it surprises Q how genuine that sounds.

It's nothing out of the ordinary actually, well... Nothing lethal. Q is normally the one that tests his own weapons, but he knows double ohs are more experienced so it'd be a lot better if one of them tries the weapons first.

"I'm starting to think I'm your favourite," Bond smiles from ear to ear with the gun in his hands. "This feels more like a reward."

Q pinches the bridge of his nose. Perhaps he didn't think this through.

***

A box with tea is on his desk the morning Bond returns from Spain and since the brand seems to be from that country it's not hard to figure out who left that there.

Q looks at it with confusion for a moment, at least until he remembers he has more important things to do than worrying about tea.

Because he knows it'd be childish not to mention it, he decides to thank the agent as soon as he sees him.

"The tea is really good," he comments, trying not to look at the mug on his desk.

"You're welcome," the agent grins, looking absolutely pleased with himself.

It doesn't stop there; every time the agent comes from a mission, he brings something he knows Q will like. The minions and the other agents have noticed too, but the Quartermaster refuses to feel embarrassed or hide it because it's nothing important anyway.

Then, later that day after 007 mumbles something about his eyes, Q realizes what's going on.

"He wants to fuck me," he tells Moneypenny. He feels relaxed now because he knows how to deal with it. "Although, it seems really too much effort for that. I don't know why he hasn't asked yet. It's been weeks!"

Eve listens patiently, but he notices how she presses her lips together, like she's worried.

"I'd say yes you know? I will," he admits. Now that he has had quite a few casual relationships he knows he can handle a quick fuck with Bond.

"Q, I don't think this is–I mean... something's off, don't you think?" Moneypenny insists. "I mean he usually doesn't need that much to–He doesn't last long interested in anyone he wants to fuck..."

"I know," Q rolls his eyes. "I'm not expecting anything else from him. Just a one night stand. I think it'll be fun."

"I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say..." she stops, biting her bottom lip before looking up at him again. "You know what? Maybe you're right. Forget what I said."

"Of course I'm right," Q chuckles, although that doesn't work to erase the concern on Moneypenny's face.

***

Kofi / Patreon