#(ONE WHERE IN AN AU THEY 'SURVIVE' IN LIKE ... LIMBO OR SOMETHING SOBS FOREVER BUT AT LEAST THEY WERE TOGETHER THERE)

[cloudaura93]

Fall for You Pt.2 - Cindy/Alice Fanfiction (FEAR STREET)

Synopsis: SPOILER WARNING. Please don’t read if you haven’t watched the whole series. The second part of this story. Picks up at the end of the first part and covers the ending of the 1978 massacre flashback. I have an idea for a smaller final story to wrap everything up. Cindy and Ziggy are trying to reunite Sarah Fier’s hand with her body to stop the curse meanwhile Alice is helping in her own way as best she can given the circumstances. AU with alternating POVs between Alice and Cindy. 

Alice’s POV:

I hear Cindy and Ziggy flee the cabin as I struggle to subdue Tommy, my former friend and current possessed killer. He throws me off, recovers, and lifts me up by my neck slowly squeezing my windpipe, and then decides to toss me through the front doors of the cabin instead of strangulation. I land hard with a thud on my back while also smacking my head on the ground.

“Ouch.” I say under my breath as I slowly sit up and start scrambling to my feet. I see Tommy slowly approaching with the axe in hand, and I realize I either need to run away or find a weapon. A weapon. Of course. I reach down and remove the knife from the sheath Cindy used as part of the splint to support my fucked up leg.

“Here goes nothing.” I whisper as I launch myself toward him. When I’m a couple feet away, I throw the knife toward his face where it hits its mark squarely in his left eye as I dodge to the right, narrowly avoiding the impact from the axe swing. It momentarily stuns him as I start hobbling away to hide. I hope I bought Cindy and Ziggy enough time. I hope they are still alive because I’ll be damned if I let some stupid ass curse ruin my life further especially after I just got my girl back. We deserve happiness too.

I expect Tommy to continue pursuing me, but instead I turn around and realize that he is heading in the opposite direction.

“Oh shit!” I exclaim as it hits me that I was only a distraction, and the main target is Ziggy who is at the Hanging Tree with her sister trying to reunite Sarah Fier’s hand to her body. I instantly swivel around and limp behind killer Tommy moving as fast as I can. I try to keep up to hopefully have a chance to warn the girls as they try to stop this carnage once and for all.

We are approaching our mutual destination a few minutes later, and I notice out of my peripheral vision that I’m too late to help. I watch my beautiful snitch getting brutalized by her ex-boyfriend’s axe at the same time Ziggy is being repeatedly stabbed by the Milkman. It’s like some horrible plaguing nightmare, all playing out in slow motion while I’m about thirty seconds away, but hopeless to do anything to help. 

“NOOOO!” I scream out in agony as I collapse to the ground on my knees ignoring the piercing pain in my leg.

As I’m crying for a few seconds, it suddenly goes quiet and I glance up to see all the Shadyside killers have disappeared. I instinctively crawl on my knees toward the girls’ bodies hoping to say goodbye. I’m almost to Cindy when I hear the rustling of footsteps next to me. 

“Alice?!” He says, and I recognize the voice. Nick Goode. Of course he’s here. Fucking Sunnyvale’s prodigal son. The savior. The knight in shining armor trying to rescue the poor surviving Shadyside campers.

“Save her Nick! Save Ziggy!” I shout through choked back sobs willing him to understand my meaning as I sadly reach my girlfriend, and grasp her hand letting the tears flow down my cheeks. I couldn’t save Cindy, but I can at least attempt to keep her sister alive.

“I will. I promise. And Alice? I’m sorry.” Before I can even react, I feel a stinging sensation in my back and as my vision fades to black, I realize that this is how I’m going to die. With a whimper, not a bang. Alone and betrayed by Nick fucking Goode. A literal backstabber. You unimaginable bastard. We were so close. Not that it matters anymore. No one will remember us, and our sacrifice. This will just be another unfortunate and bloody tale of the cursed town of Shadyside. The infamous Camp Nightwing massacre of 1978.

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Cindy’s POV:

As Ziggy and I are digging down to find Sarah Fier’s body, we stumble upon something hard that we hit with the shovels. 

“I found something!” Ziggy states excitedly. I hold my breath as I help her unearth whatever was buried underneath the tree. It’s a rock with an engraving on it.

“The witch forever lives.” I shakily gasp out.

“The witch forever lives.” My little sister repeats the statement before following up with “Cindy, what does it mean? Cindy?!” She asks worriedly.

“I don’t know.” I answer softly.

“What...where is she? Where’s the body?” 

“I don’t know.” I replied. We share a look first at each other and then at Tommy who is on our tails.

“This way. Come on.” I continue as I grab Ziggy’s arms and drag her up so we can attempt to run away. We turn around and realize that the other Shadyside killers are also here quickly approaching from every direction.

“What do you want, Sarah Fier? You want this?” As I hold up her hand. “You can have it. Just let my sister live. Just let my sister live!” I plead. I drop the hand next to the hole we dug in frustration and grab one of the shovels.

I realize sadly that there is no escape, at least not for me. But I can protect Ziggy as best I can and give her a fighting chance.

“You bled on the bone. They are after you. Get ready to run.” I tell her sadly. I’m so sorry Ziggy. I’m so sorry Alice. I wish we had more time to spend together, to make up for lost time. I tried my best but I failed both of you again. I love you so much. I’ll see you again.

“No Cindy no!” I hear her cry out at the realization of my decision. I hurriedly take hold of her arm again and we start sprinting together. At the last second however, I push her aside and swing the shovel at Tommy where I connect with his head but he immediately retaliates with a smack to my head with the axe’s blunt end. 

I fall down onto the ground hard helpless as I glance out of the corner of my eye to hear Ziggy screaming while being attacked by the Milkman at the same time the axe collides with my chest piercing my insides. Tommy strikes me repeatedly and as blood begins gurgling out of my mouth, I turn my head to face my baby sister who I notice is reaching out her hand toward me. I reciprocate the gesture and say one last thing to her knowing this is the end. 

“Nothing...will...pull...us...apart…” I gasp my final breath as the world goes dark and my eyes slowly close and I feel myself fading away. 

Some time later…

Cindy’s POV:

“Cindy. Wake up. You need to see this...to understand.” A disembodied voice whispers in my ear. I struggle to regain consciousness as I hear the faint sounds of terror around me.

“This is important. Please wake up.” The voice repeats itself. I stir and slowly attempt to stand as I’m feeling wobbly on my feet. Once my balance returns, I instantly realize that I feel different than I did when I was alive not too long ago.

“Where...where am I?” I ask the voice which has a feminine tone to it.

“Not quite sure. All I know is this is where the poor unfortunate souls who have attempted to thwart the Goode family’s treachery end up after they die. It’s sort of like limbo and you are a ghost observing the effects of the curse until one day it can finally end.”

I nod in understanding as I look around and realize that I’m standing at the edge of the clearing where the Hanging Tree is located.

“Sarah Fier.” I reply, finally figuring it out. 

“Yes. It’s me. I tried to warn you. I’ve always tried warning everyone who stumbles upon the curse. No one has ever figured it out completely. You were the closest, but alas you ran out of time just like the others.” She answers sadly.

“Will she live? Did I save my sister at least?” I inquire as I stare at Ziggy who is slowly dying.

“No. You did your best, but ultimately failed. Your girlfriend fared slightly better, but will still pay the ultimate price.” Sarah replies as she teleports us closer to the tree. I stare in shock as I notice my dear sweet Alice stumbling toward my body.

“Alice! No! I have to help her!” I cry out desperately wanting to save her from her fate as Nick Goode drives a knife deep into her back where she collapses onto my corpse, the light leaving her eyes as she bleeds out.

“She’s gone, but your sister will live. Nick Goode will see to it. Take solace that she survives. And your dear Alice will join us shortly so you will be reunited. You won’t share this existence alone..” Sarah nonchalantly explains. 

As if on command, I hear soft footsteps from behind and spin around to face my badass and brave girlfriend.

“Hey snitch.” She greets with a smirk. I race over and embrace her by wrapping my arms around her neck, tears misting at my eyes. She instinctively wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me closer. We hold each other for a couple minutes until I have to ask her a very important question.

“What took you so long?” I whisper in her ear echoing the last time I said that to her when we were still alive. She pulls back from the hug and grasps both my hands with her own.

“Three guesses. Besides, I couldn’t leave you to face this uncertain future alone. You are stuck with me now princess. For better or worse. Not letting you go this time” She beams.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smile and close the gap between us to gently kiss her on the lips. 

Despite recent events, I still have hope. Alice and I get to spend eternity together even though we are both dead, and Ziggy lives even with survivor’s guilt. It’s not a perfect happy ending, but I’ll take what I can get. It’s better than what most Shadysiders get to experience in their lives.

And since we have been given a second chance to fix our mistakes and help prevent the spilling of more innocent bloodshed, it means we have a chance to help the next generation. To help Sarah stop the Goode family from continuing to enact this curse over Shadyside. Alice and I just need to watch over Ziggy until she’s ready, and then bide our time until the opportunity presents itself to intervene. This time we will be ready, and revenge is a dish best served cold. We are coming for you Nick Goode, one way or another.

The End?

[datura-foxglove]

your words are my salvation (please don’t say it)

Rating : T

Prompts : Ghost / Haunting

Summary : (BEAST AU) Atsushi meet with Dazai for the last time as he tethered between life and death. In every parallel worlds written in the pages of the Book, Dazai would save Atsushi, and so did Atsushi would save Dazai in return. Unfortunately for them, their story must end here.

Warning : Please bear in mind that I haven’t touched BEAST AU for a long time and I refuse to tear my heart out reading it again, so I’m sorry if there is a mistake. Also, spoiler for the ending of BEAST AU obviously.

.

It was dark.

It was cold.

Atsushi opened his eyes, his mind felt strangely empty as he felt himself drowning. He must be drowning, right? Everything around him was water, cold and suffocating. His body fell deeper and deeper into the water as he could only watch the dancing light on the surface became farther and farther. His screaming lungs should kick his survival instinct to swim upwards, but all that his heart felt at that moment was peace. A calm, everlasting peace like he was enshrouded within a cocoon.

He closed his eyes, the dancing light on the surface was the last thing in his mind as he waited. Was this how it felt for a caterpillar as it metamorphosed into a butterfly? A certainty that it’s old skin would peel away and be reborn into something better? Something beautiful? The water surrounding him slowly cleansed away his sins, his fears, and his guilt. He felt guilty for tainting the pure water with his filth of his existence, but even that guilt was washed away. All that was left was just emptiness, an unending void.

Something forcefully awakened him from his stupor. Atsushi gasped, his eyes opened in shock. It took him a few moments to realize that he felt warmth from his wrist and another moment for his eyes to trail up the hand that had caught his wrist to see a face that he hadn’t thought would be able to see ever again.

“That won’t do, Atsushi-kun. If you continue to fall here, you will lose everything.” Dazai waved his hand to gesture at the black substance that had originated from Atsushi’s body all around them. “Your sins, your fears, and even your guilt. No matter how painful they are, they are still what made your existence Atsushi-kun.”

“Dazai-san…” Atsushi’s lips trembled, sobs caught in his throat. “Am I dead? Why are you here?”

“Not yet, Atsushi-kun, but close enough.” Dazai smiled, a perfect smile that Atsushi had seen countless times but never even once reached his eyes. “Do you forget my last order? I told you to live, Atsushi-kun. Live in the world of light with Kyouka-chan.”

“Ah…” Atsushi remembered, but what he did afterwards to follow that order was all a blur. “I don’t know why I’m almost dead, actually. I think… I left Kyouka-chan to the Agency, and escaped from Yokohama. After that… I don’t remember.”

Life after Dazai’s death was akin to hell. He had become so used to blindly following Dazai’s order, depending on them to seek temporary escape from his guilt. Without someone to give him orders, without Dazai to guide him and his Ability… Atsushi was lost, in more ways than one. He just… waited. Waiting for something to happen, waiting until the limbo he had gotten lost in to disperse, or maybe he had just been waiting for Dazai to pick him up and smiled mischievously, saying that everything was a ruse that he had planned and everything would go back to normal. His normal daily life, following Dazai’s orders and becoming one of his most useful pawn.

Dazai looked at Atsushi with something akin to guilt, or what close enough to be guilt. “You will be fine. The person I asked to take care of you will help you through this.” Dazai patted his head, the only act of affection they had ever allow themselves to have before. “Soon, you will forget about me. You should.”

Atsushi felt his fist shaking, his voice raised at Dazai for the first time in more than four years. “How can I forget you? You have saved me, all those years ago, from that hell! You have given me a place to belong, a reason for my Ability, and even forgive all of my foolishness! You are important to me, Dazai-san, how can I—“

“I have never saved you, Atsushi-kun.” Dazai’s cold voice stopped his tirade. “In fact, I’m the one who had drowned you in the filth of the mafia.”

Atsushi’s instinct made him clammed up, the old habit hard to break as he focused to listen for Dazai’s explanation instead.

There was a mirth in Dazai’s eyes as he saw Atsushi’s struggle. “Remember when I told you about the Book? How I’ve acquired the knowledge of the other worlds other than this one?”

The younger nodded. The guilt burdened him for not protecting the Book like what Dazai had told him to do, but there was an understanding in Dazai’s eyes that let him breathe easily again.

“In other worlds, your role is switched with Akutagawa.” Dazai explained. “You should be the one who joined the Agency, and he is the one who bloodied his hands in the mafia.”

Atsushi’s eyes widened in surprise. “Then… why did you choose me?”

“Everything I did in this world, is to keep someone alive.” Dazai’s smile was almost gentle, more real than the rest of his expressions. “So that he could achieve his dream to write a book. I sacrificed everything and everyone just for that reason.”

Dazai watched as conflicted emotions flitted through Atsushi’s eyes. “You are one of the sacrifices. I dragged you down with me, despite seeing how living in the world of light had healed the scars from your trauma. I ordered you to commit atrocities, forced you to wear that collar, and then throw you away after everything is over. I’m not your savior, Atsushi-kun. You shouldn’t even hate me, just forget about me. Go live in the world of light that you should be in.”

Atsushi didn’t respond. He just hung his head and stayed silent. Dazai held a sigh and looked up, towards the inviting dancing light that would be forever unattainable to him. “You should go back, Atsushi-kun. You can still be saved—”

To Dazai’s surprise, Atsushi had reached for his hand and held it tightly within his own. So tight it was painful, but Dazai couldn’t see the reason behind Atsushi’s brittle smile.

“I’m glad.” Atsushi chuckled weakly, his sunset colored eyes had a sheen to them that wasn’t caused by the water surrounding them. “For so long, I couldn’t understand you at all. It’s painful, my heart hurt knowing that I experienced so many pain because of you, but I’m so glad that I finally able to understand you a bit.”

Seeing Dazai’s shocked expression, Atsushi continued. “You are so smart. Everything was within your plan, even when all I could do was panic. You are always so out of reach from me, but to know that the reason for everything you’ve done is something so humane…” he looked at his own hands. “I don’t know if I will do the same thing to protect someone so precious to me, but then again I had also kill countless people just to follow your orders. Maybe it’s the same thing, maybe it’s not.”

Dazai let out a snort, not in disbelief but in resignation. “Why do you always try to understand me, Atsushi-kun?” he put his free hand on his bandaged face. “In every world I see within the Book, if there is something constant, it’s that you will always try to understand me. Even when I am your enemy, your ally, or even your…”

He shook his head solemnly. “It doesn’t matter. You should still forget about me. There will be nothing but pain awaits you if you keep dragging the memory of a dead man.” Dazai let out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, I know.”

If Atsushi was braver, or maybe in other worlds where they were more equal, he could call Dazai a hypocrite. “No matter how painful they are; they are still what made your existence. My time with you, my memory of you, and my feelings for you… they are proof of what I am.” Just like the watch he couldn’t bring himself to throw away. “Even if pain is all there is for now, I am sure that someday I can remember you with a smile.”

Dazai seemed stunned for a long while, even his breath stopped. Atsushi held on to his hand, the hand that had never hurt him. The hand that had always guide him. He would never forget. He wanted to carve the feeling of Dazai’s hand in his in his memory forever.

Atsushi almost jumped in fright when Dazai suddenly laughed. “Ha—hahaha!” Dazai nearly doubled over from the force of his laugh, his hand covered his mouth in futile attempt to muffle it. “You are really something else, Atsushi-kun!”

Atsushi watched in trepidation of the man’s sanity as Dazai slowly collected himself, his finger wiped away the tears from his eyes. “I’ve always taught that I’ve lived a good life, to have someone who would feel pain from a goodbye.” When their gaze met, there was a flush to Dazai’s cheeks. “To think there will be someone who would feel happiness from memories of me. Ah, what is this feeling I wonder? I think this is the first time my chest ever felt this light…”

Slowly, Dazai put his free hand on Atsushi’s cheek and leaned down so their forehead touched lightly. “I thought I only had one regret, but your words… they tempt me so. To wonder, to imagine, and to regret the path that I had already taken.”

Dread filled Atsushi’s heart. He knew, even without warning, of the sands of time that were slowly running out. This was his last chance. He would never have another. “Dazai-san, I—“

A finger on his lips prevented the confession from being spoken out, to become a reality that they couldn’t deny. “You mustn’t, Atsushi-kun. Don’t waste your feelings on a ghost. Find someone else that could love you the way you deserve it, not a broken man who couldn’t even love you properly.”

Atsushi wanted to deny. He wanted to spill out the feelings that would otherwise be forever unspoken and died without ever received. But the sorrow in the older man’s eyes was too much that it sealed his mouth shut. Atsushi closed his eyes and weep, for both this man with a broken heart and himself.

“Y-you said,” Atsushi sobbed through his words. “You said, that in other worlds I live in the world of light. Please tell me, Dazai-san, does the me in those worlds can tell you words that I can’t say?”

Dazai’s hand gently but tightly held the back of his head, pulling him closer so that there was almost no space between them. “In most of them, yes.” The grip on his hand tightened, as if they could prolong the time that was rapidly running out by just holding to each other. “You are always the one who first said those words, because in every parallel world I’m too much of a coward to take that first step.”

How ironic, that a coward like him was brave only on the things that matter the most. “I am sure, myself from the other worlds are also saved by you. No matter how insignificant little things, or a life changing things, you will always save me.”

“And so do you.” Atsushi opened his eyes, his blurry eyes just managed to catch Dazai’s gentle smile. “Even now, your feelings had saved my soul.”

Atsushi opened his mouth, but no words came out. Despite how he wanted to scream out his feelings, to spill out the entirety of his aching and broken heart, no voice came out from his strangled throat but weak sobs.

“I had finally get what I waited for the most the moment I died, but you…” a glimmer of light in Dazai’s visible eye only made Atsushi cried harder. “You make me want to live. A foolish dream of living together with you...”

A strong current within the water all around them pushed Atsushi up. He shouted his sorrow, but nothing heard his pleas. Dazai let him go, despite Atsushi’s protests. The roar of the water almost muffled Dazai’s last words to him, as Atsushi could only futilely reach out his hands to Dazai.

“Thank you, Atsushi-kun and… goodbye.” Dazai smiled at for the last time. A gentle and sad smile.

“Dazai-san!” Atsushi screamed with all his might, but Dazai’s form became smaller and smaller, until all that he could see was the last smile that would forever be carved into his heart.

---

The sound of children’s laughter stirred him up from the depths of his slumber. Atsushi opened his eyes to a familiar ceiling, but for a long time he couldn’t understand why the room was so familiar.

No, right now all that Atsushi could remember was Dazai’s words and his last smile.

“You’re finally awake—oh my, are you crying?” a woman’s voice spoke to him in concern, but Atsushi couldn’t answer it. He curled up in the bed and cried his heart out, as if he hadn’t cried enough before.

“I’m sorry.” Atsushi sobbed to the pillow. “I’m sorry, Dazai-san.”

“Young man, are you alright?”

“Elise-chan, leave him be for now.” Another voice said kindly. “We will return later.”

“Rintarou, wait—“

The sound of footsteps left his senses, enough that Atsushi felt that he was alone. He sobbed, tears continued to flow from his eyes. He couldn’t stop, not even when his eyes stung and his throat hurt.

“I—I’m sorry Dazai-san, I can only cry n-now.” He hugged the pillow harder, although it was a poor substitute to the warmth that he had felt from the most precious person in his life. “I promise; I will smile someday when I remember you.”

Someday, Atsushi would smile fondly as he remembered Dazai. He hoped, with all of his aching and broken heart, that it would comfort the lonely man somehow. To remind him the words that Atsushi couldn’t say, but wish he could have uttered to the man before. It may not change anything, but if those words brought any little happiness for Dazai…

‘I love you.’ He whispered silently to the wind, hoping that it would carry those feelings to that person. ‘You are not alone, Dazai-san.’

[some-mad-lunge]

Thank God - Ringo Edition

AU - Easy never stops Ringo from getting on that train. Why? Because my imagination will not stop where Ringsy is concerned. _____________________________

It had been over six weeks since Ringo had left Cologne on a train bound out of Easy’s life.   No one mentioned Ringo in Easy’s company after that day, not even Tobias.  

There was a fragility to Easy now that Tobias had never seen in his friend but he figured with time he’d would be back to normal but so far Tobias had been wrong, very very wrong.  

Easy went to work at the kiosk, he’d go out with his camera for hours, he hadn’t stepped foot in WG and he avoided the apartment like it housed the plague. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t cry. He just sat there. No one even knew if he was listening half the time when they spoke to him. He just had this far away look in his eye. He spent most of his time in his room, the only companion he seemed to enjoy was Stinker, who seemed to know what Easy needed. Tobias would have believed Easy didn’t even know how to use his voice anymore if he hadn’t heard the low rumbles of his conversations with the dog from the other side of Easy’s bedroom door.  

The only person who had heard from Ringo was Paco. He brought him up once when Easy, who had insisted he wasn’t hungry because apparently he survived on oxygen alone now, went and hid in his room from his roommate and declined dinner. Tobias had had enough and went to WG to get some re-enforcements.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, how do I fix him?”

Eli just looked sad and Saskia looked like she wanted to say something but was biting her lip.

“I heard from Ringo yesterday.”

Tobias whirled around and arched an eyebrow at Paco.

“He’s still my friend Tobias, not to mention your brother.”

Tobias huffed at that, like he needed reminding.

“He’s coming back to town this weekend. I convinced him to meet me for a beer. He sounds almost worse than Easy. It’s like neither of them know how to exist anymore.”

“Ringo deserves it, Easy doesn’t.”

“Enough!”

Everyone turned to look at Saskia, who suddenly had wild eyes and a snarl on her face as she glared at Tobias.  

“You Tobias, more than anyone, should know how this feels for both of them”  

“Me, what does it have to do with me?”  

“Ever since Kay-C left to go be Hauke’s fake fiancée you’ve been just as bad, but it’s almost like Easy and Ringo aren’t allowed to be heartbroken but you are. You don’t get a say in that.”  

Tobias didn’t know how to handle Saskia like this, who was this bossy, annoying woman?  

“It’s different.”  

Saskia couldn’t keep her disgust for Tobias from her voice.  

“It’s love Tobias, it’s different and the same for everybody. If you care for Easy like you say you do you would want him to have whatever makes him happy. If Ringo makes him happy you should be helping him get back to him. You changed, is it so hard to believe Ringo could too?”  

Tobias looked around the room, looking for support from Paco and Elli, and found none.  

“She’s right Tobias, they love each other.”  

Ellie looked at Paco with glowing eyes, Paco just smiled back at her and then turned to Tobias.  

“We should help them Tobias. We stick our noses in anyway, why not use it to help?”  

Tobias couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his friends were insane and he told them so.  

“You’re all crazy. They just need time and they’ll see how much better off they are. Trust me.”  

He stormed out and headed back to his apartment. It was just another relationship, Easy would move on, and Paco was no doubt wrong and Ringo probably already had.  

He made his way inside and headed for Easy’s door. He was about to knock when he heard it. Easy, crying. No not just crying but sobbing, deep shuddering sobs that sent shivers down Tobias’s back, and he could hear Stinker whining, no doubt the dog trying to comfort his friend. Tobias leaned his head against the closed door.

Fuck, he thought, fuck, fuck, FUCK.  

He turned around and headed back to WG, stormed in, slammed the door behind him and looked right at Saskia.  

“Okay, this is what we’re going to do.”  

**  

Ringo didn’t know how Paco had been able to convince him to spend his first night back in Cologne at his old apartment. He should have got a hotel, but six weeks of living on his sister’s couch with no income didn’t mean he had money to throw around. He was only back because Kira had kicked him out anyway. She’d had enough of his wallowing.

She’d been supportive at first, listening to him unload his broken heart, listened to his regrets. She’d understood, she’d been compassionate but firm, hell she’d bought him ice cream, stating that it’s what every broken heart needed.  

But as time wore on and Ringo wasn’t getting over it Kira got more and more frustrated with her brother.  

“This isn’t you Ringo. You fight for what you want or you move on, you can’t stay in this limbo forever. Maybe you need to accept that you’ll never be over Easy, not really, but God brother get your ass off my couch.”  

And so Ringo realized this ache, this emptiness wasn’t going to go away, it was a part of him now. But the rest of him needed a job, and a place to live and to get up every morning, even if the day ahead would be void of any real happiness. It’s what people did, or at least he assumed what people did, he’d never been like most people anyway.

And if he had to look at pictures of him and Easy on his phone before he went to sleep every night, before he could even attempt to sleep, then he would live with it.

And if he had to wake every morning reaching for someone who wasn’t there, and fight back the tears that came up, well then so be it.   So when he’d texted Paco he was coming back to town, was going to find another flat share and a new place to work, so that he could avoid his walking heartache at all costs Paco pounced. First he convinced him to meet for a drink. Then a few days later he said Easy was going out of town for a weekend visiting some uncle that Ringo didn’t even know he had. He could stay in his old room, at least for a few nights until he found somewhere else. Before Easy came back.

Clearly a glutton for punishment Ringo agreed, because if he couldn’t have Easy anymore than maybe he could relive the memories where he’d once been allowed to.  

The heaviness multiplied the moment the building came into view. It was worse when he was in the elevator. Even alone his reflex was to reach out to grasp Easy’s hand in the tiny space and he cursed himself when he realized what he’d done.  

He walked into WG and was greeted by hugs from Elli and Saskia and the smile from Paco.  

“We missed you Ringo, nothing has been the same without you.”  

Saskia’s words surprised him, she’d never been overly interested in Ringo before.  

“Go put your stuff in your room man, we’re going to go grab some dinner to bring back. You’re probably tired from the journey, go get settled.”

Paco half smiled at him and they all shuffled out the door.  

Then here he was, standing alone in the apartment like the last six weeks hadn’t happened. Like he had any right to be there. Like he had any right to the memories he’d made with Easy in these walls.   He carried his stuff up to his old room but other than placing the bags down in the doorway he couldn’t bring himself to step inside. There were memories and dreams held in that room too raw to face right now, in the light of day. He needed the cover of darkness before he was in the bed where he last held Easy because he knew it was going to hurt.

But he would do it, he had no other choice and he deserved all the pain it would bring him, every damn bit of it.

God he wanted a beer.   *** Easy was sitting on the couch looking out the window, Stinker curled on his lap. Tobias was watching his phone intently. He wanted to pretend to be stealth but honestly he could run around the apartment naked and Easy wouldn’t notice. In fact he had.

Then Tobias saw his phone light up and a two word text from Saskia, “Go time.”

“Oh my God Easy, we have to get to Elli and Paco’s!”

Tobias jumped out of his chair and grabbed Easy by the arm.

“What the hell, why?”

“Elli said Paco fell in the shower and he can’t get up and he’s too heavy for her.”

Tobias felt a little bad for the lie but as a group they knew Easy would over come anything if meant helping someone he cared about, they knew only an emergency would get him through the door to WG.

And they were right. Easy pushed himself off the couch, causing Stinker to yip and jump to the floor. Easy was out the door and Tobias was right behind him.

He watched Easy barrel into WG and then stop dead in his tracks.

Tobias looked over Easy’s head, made eye contact with his wide eyed brother who stood motionless in the kitchen, nodded his head and shut the door in his own face.

*** They just stared at each other and Easy didn’t dare move a muscle. He looks the same. How can he look the same? Hadn’t it been a million years since he’d seen that face?

“Easy.”

Ringo says his name with such reverence and sincerity that Easy has to close his eyes. He has to savour the moment, it’s the first time he’s felt whole in weeks.

When he opens them again he half expects to wake up or snap out of the hallucination. But Ringo is still there. Flesh and blood and heat and every piece of Easy is alive and warm again. He forgot what that felt like, to be warm.

*** He looked thinner and his eyes looked hollow and Ringo ached to touch him. To soothe and hold him and banish anything in the world that would dare haunt Easy Winter.

But Ringo knew he was the villain in this story and he’d live with that and pay for that for the rest of his life.

“I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to be here. I never would have come had I known.”

He turned toward the stairs, he had to get away before he was on his knees, begging Easy for just another chance to love him again, to be the hero of Easy’s story. To reclaim the only good and real thing he’d ever held in his hands.

“I’ll grab my stuff and be gone in 5 minutes.”

“You won’t be gone.”

Easy’s voice caused Ringo to turn and he realized Easy was somehow standing right behind him.

Easy took Ringo’s hand and placed it on his chest, pushing his palm over his heart, into his heart, with a firm hand.

“You’ll always be right here, right where you’ve always been. My heart won’t let me let you go.”

Ringo closed his eyes, as the tears started. Because he could feel the skin of Easy’s hand against his and it was too much and not enough. It would never be enough.

“Look at me Ringo, please.”

Blue eyes looked into hazel, and it was like no time or distance had ever come between them. Like the last six weeks didn’t happen. And Ringo felt the facade he was always barely holding together start to crack

“Tell me Ringo. Tell me you’ve been miserable too. Tell me that the you don’t want me to be happy without you. Tell me you don’t know how to be happy without me.”

An almost bitter laugh escaped Ringo’s lips as he pulled his hand away from Easy’s grasp.

“Miserable?! Miserable would be a God send. I have been in hell without you Easy. A hell I built for myself. To not see you or touch you or laugh with you. To not be able to spend every second showing you how much I love you. And to know that you are out in the world but not in MY world. Knowing that nothing I do will ever be enough and to know that you hate me. To think that some other man could…”

His voice cracked as he choked back a sob. He was trying to stop himself from shaking. The pain he felt, the rage he felt at himself, it was all bubbling up and he couldn’t keep it down. He needed to lock it down because if he fell apart he knew he’d never be able to put himself back together.

**** “Say it again.”

Easy was surprised by the conviction in his own voice. But he knew, he finally knew, he just needed to hear it again.

Ringo looked at him confused. Yet what he saw in Easy’s face, the light and the truth and all that was Easy was radiating at him. The rage ceased and a hope that Ringo only allowed himself to feel late at night when he dreamed started to swell in his chest.

One more time. He would try one more time. Hell he’d tried until his dying day. If Easy needed that Ringo would give it to him, even if it tore his heart to shreds every time Easy walked away. He would always give Easy every piece of himself that he could.

He stepped closer, unsure at first but then placed his hands on Easy’s shoulders. To hold him in place, to anchor himself. He gazed into Easy’s wet eyes and the softness that lived in them.

“I love you Easy. I will do anything if you’d let me…”

But his words were cut off when Easy launched himself into Ringo’s arms and claimed his lips in a kiss that caused his knees to buckle. It tasted of salt and forgiveness and love and Ringo wanted to weep with happiness.

Easy kept leading him back, stroking his chest, his tongue sweeping into his mouth and Ringo was thankful when Easy pushed him down on the couch before his knees gave out.

Then Easy was in his lap, straddling his hips, he cradled Ringo’s head in his hands as he pressed kisses all over his face.

“I love you so much.” Easy whispered as his lips moved over Ringo’s face. “Never leave me again, I can’t breath without you.”

“Easy I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but…”

Easy cut him off with another kiss. He didn’t want to hear it, didn’t need to hear it. He needed to feel it, he needed Ringo to make him whole again.

“Shhh. Just love me. Let me love you. It’s all I need.”

Ringo pulled back, his head was spinning, his heart was bursting, and he needed to see Easy’s face, because he needed to know he meant it. Ringo needed to know he had Easy back, that he could stay here, that he could finally stay in the only place he’d ever felt like he belonged.

He cupped Easy’s face and gazed into his eyes, because every question Ringo ever had was always answered when he looked into his Easy’s eyes.

They just looked at each other, taking in dimples and cheekbones and making sure nothing had changed. That time hadn’t erased anything. That they were still real.

Then Easy covered Ringo’s hands with his own and a smile seemed to light his eyes. Ringo felt blinded by it and then he knew what Easy was trying to tell him, felt it to the marrow of his bones.

“Thank God.” was the last thing Ringo said before he claimed Easy’s lips again and came home.

[izzyizumi]

ok ok but also on having original season Digi//mon fic HAAAAAA IF YOU GUYS ONLY KNEW re: my old fic - the main fic - the prequel to the main fic (about the OCs) - the prequel to the prequel - the prequel to the prequel to the prequel to the ..... - the AUs of the prequels - the sequel to the main fic - the sequel AU - the Tamers / Frontier / Savers seasons being interwoven into the sequel AU and the original main fic as a crossover (a canon crossover even happened later on in Xros Wars???) - the AUs of the Tamers / Frontier / Savers seasons parts - the alternative timelines for both the prequels and the sequels where different ships got together or different events happened - all of these connect to the prequel of the prequel that sets off the whole story - the Tai//shiro and Dai//ken // Ken//suke AUs of all of these (+ multiple other LGBTQIA+ / polyship AUs) - the multiple future AUs of THOSE (LIKE..... H E L P) (AND I NEVER GOT TO SHARE SOME OF THESE IDEAS EVER because some of them are way too embarrassing in retrospect oh my god)