#(Instead she's hoping he's eaten enough and wondering if he likes ice cream/is there ice cream on his planet)

[more-than-a-princess]

She had to laugh at that: for as unpredictable as the day had become, Zack was still concerned with something as inconsequential as swear words. For someone who could, and did, do that in several dozen languages, Sonia was far more amused than offended. "Oh no, it's quite all right," She replied in-between giggles. "Rather refreshing, actually! To meet someone who isn't afraid to swear in front of me, and be honest with me. I say 'fuck this shit' at least once a week, myself." Usually over rules and policies she didn't agree with but didn't hold enough power yet to change.

Her questions hadn't been easy ones to answer, and she wasn't surprised that he couldn't. It was science that the world, her world, hadn't invented yet so asking someone from an entirely different planet to explain it in ways he understood, and as such she would too, was a tall order. But she wasn't one to shy away from an intriguing mystery: it was just that her usual brand of mysteries involved murder, or cults, or both. Far too gruesome for the dinner table, as her 'unsavory' hobbies usually were.

"I cannot imagine how disorienting being sent to another world must be," Sonia mused aloud. It was a knee-jerk reaction, to try and solve every problem that presented itself to her. It was to be the purpose of her life after all, to lead and problem solve for millions of people. But Zack wasn't her subject, he was her friend: albeit a very new one but a friend all the same. That had a different, more personal, sense of urgency to assist where and if she could. "But I do not think you are a mess. Lost, perhaps: but not a mess. But I am intrigued about how you were supposed to become a hero that has turned into a felon: that sounds like quite the tale, but if the story is personal I will not press you for more."

She was smart to have taken the burger and fries she did: Zack clearly had no difficulty putting away the rest of it. Just as well, she thought as she munched on her last fry, smiling: he seemed far more in need of a large meal than she did. "Would you be interested in dessert? Nothing fancy," She asked, hopefully putting his worries at ease. If he had any at this point: from the shower to the clothes to the meal, it was truly not an inconvenience for her to help him for a little while. Sonia got to her feet, giving him a conspirator's smile before sauntering over to the freezer. "Do you like ice cream? If not, I think there is some cake in the refrigerator from yesterday. And I can be trusted to serve these, at least."

She'd have the ice cream, in any case, and Sonia began to take out various pints from the freezer and set them on the counter: homemade, of course, in various flavors loved by both Japanese and Novosonian people: chocolate, stracciatella, nocciola, pistachio, green tea, black sesame, strawberry, peach. Half the freezer seemed to be stocked with frozen sweets alone, just how Sonia liked it. She opened the stracciatella, pistachio, and nocciola for herself, wanting a taste of home: it would help her think, or so she believed, about how she could assist him further.

"So you are on the run but must return to the people you care about, that is very brave and warmhearted of you," She said as she scooped out the first scoop into a bowl. "The thing is, I am not sure what sort of technology you would need in order to get home. Here, it would be difficult to acquire scientific help, but at home...well. I have a bit more authority there to commandeer some of the national science departments. Unless your journey is more akin to a fantasy novel and you must go on a quest! To assemble various precious items that, when combined, it opens a portal between worlds. Was your experience similar to that? It would be so very exciting if it was!"

"Gaia." He nodded. "Though the way you describe it sounds like a place that it could have been. You know, before humans decided to fuck it over. Oops." He brought a hand up to his lips. "Sorry." LANGUAGE, Zack!

"I wish I could explain to you what happened. How I ended up here. Truth is, I'm not smart enough to even try it. And to be honest, I don't even think I have the energy to make the attempt. Right now, I feel like I'm in a race against time. Or like... I'm in an eternal struggle for answers that I'll never find." And it wasn't the sort that, say, a scholar might seek on their own. Answers to those questions that would enrich the mind or something.

The answers he sought were of a life and death situation. Or to regain the life that had been stolen from him.

"I'll just say that I had some help to get here. What I'm supposed to do---" He shrugged a shoulder. ".... so as you can see, I'm a mess. Listen, my hopes and dreams saw me bound for hero-hood by this point. Instead, I'm all but an official felon, and if I go back home, I'm dead. At the same time, I have to go back home eventually because there's people I care about there and I'm not about to let them fend for themselves."

He sighed heavily, angrily wielding a french fry which he happily indulged in. ".... so, you see? Your hamburgers and fries have given me the strength to continue my adventure. Partially back to my human state with a shower too!" If he didn't find humor in the situation, he truly would be dead. It was about the only thing he had to prevent him from drowning in despair.

[claraetc]

( CHASE SUI WONDERS / 25 / NON-BINARY / SHE / THEY ) — did you see HOPE’S SUPERFICIAL FRIEND, CLARA ZHAO, wandering around the mercer hollow today? i heard around town that the COLLEGE STUDENT and BARISTA is AFFABLE, and ANIMATED, but also VENGEFUL, and SHAMELESS. people say that they remind them of A PLATFORM BOOT DUCT TAPED TOGETHER, AN OLD JUKEBOX, and RASPBERRIES EATEN OFF FINGERTIPS, but how well can you ever really know someone in mercer hollow? ( bennie / 22 / mst / they/she )

PINTEREST ( other links tbd ) .

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒

full name: clara elise zhao nicknames: if you can come up with a good one they'll take it lol age: twenty five  birthday: april 13th chart: aries sun / pisces moon / scorpio rising gender: non-binary pronouns: she/her & they/them (no preference) sexuality: bisexual & biromantic  faceclaim: chase sui wonders height: 5′5 hair: brown eyes: brown tattoos: a few small ones in patchwork style piercings: three earlobe piercings on each ear clothing style: lacy shirts paired with ripped jeans, torn fishnets, oversized t shirts and maxi skirts, doc martens duct-taped together, aged silver jewelry painted over with nail polish, platform converse, leather jackets, graphic t shirts (often with graphic sayings lol) with a polo collar peeking out occupation: barista at black ridge coffee and college student (biology major, final year of undergrad)

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

uhhhh right out of the bat let's get into her EVIDENCE 😍 this is private knowledge to muses and nobody knows but clara but ... us muns can know as a little treat. clara was the result of a one night stand between bridget zhao and an unnamed mercer man (hope's uncle). not wanting a kid at all for many reasons (like he maybe was cheating on his wife lol), he disowned the zhao's quickly and after his name was forcibly put on clara's birth certificate (bridget is petty as fuck), he actually paid them a fair amount of hush money in order not to tell anyone else. as soon as clara was old enough to understand though, her mother told her who her father was, and since then she's had a strong distaste for the mercer family - some concoction of longing, jealousy, and hatred.

growing up was pretty lonely for clara, yktv when besides your mom you have 0 other family and you don't really make friends until mid elementary school because until then you just kind of like to stick your hands in the mud and chase your classmates around with worms? besides that, life was pretty decent. although they weren’t well off, clara's mom always made sure there was a pack of ice cream sandwiches in the freezer and clearance rack flowers on the kitchen table which was aided by the pay from her long hours as a dentist.

truthfully, nothing else notable happened during their childhood-high school. this is partially because it's true and also i am leaving it open in hopes of big plots with other muses who were in mercer hollow at the time 🧍‍♂️ if you have any ideas ... do lmk. in high school though, clara was nearly expelled for picking a fight during lunch of her junior year. having no other record, she made a deal with the principal to get it taken off her record if she got a 4.0 that semester, and thankfully was able to.

post high school graduation is about the time when the mercer hate train started to kick in. seeing hope get straight into college and continue to just be lil miss perfect with all the time in the world to improve her image, clara started to get jealous. they weren't able to go straight into college due to not having the money, and their mother didn't want to take out any loans. they also spent most of their time working, rather than just getting to do what they wanted like her.

however, upon getting accepted to the biology program at 22, clara and hope started to run in the same circles with classes/friends. instead of ... being an absolute dick to hope, clara decided to fake it until they made it because hope was still ... family 🫤 whether she liked the mercer's or not and thankfully hope seemed to be on the same page that she really didn't like clara below the surface, but unbeknownst to their connection.

anyways, they're going into the last year of their degree, making 40,000 lattes a day, celebrating and crying about hope's death, yktv or not i'll save you from reading more.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

clara? a good time ... mostly. i'd say they're pretty easy to get along with, most always kind and they'll do everything in their power to hold a conversation. they're a great storyteller and they like to see how people think :P

they also love a good laugh. unless they really have to, they don't tend to take a lot of things seriously. for instance, if you're the right company, she'll probably make some jokes about hope's death/disappearance too, half as her way of coping.

never having anyone super close to them growing up, they crave interaction with others and just really any relationship they can get. it doesn't matter if it's healthy, toxic, or just the most simple thing as them seeing you as a regular even if you've only come to get coffee from them once. while there may be a some exceptions (see: hope), just being around people is enough to satiate them. like small talk and holding the door open for people and smiling at people when they walk by them? right up their alley.

on the more negative side ... clara is a supreme grudge holder. mainly self proclaimed. if you wrong her to a certain point, it's basically over. it will be extremely difficult to get back on her good side. also, due to their people loving nature they also tend to be quite naive sometimes. even though they swear revenge is in their nature, it's not a rare occurrence for them to get walked all over while doing nothing about it. if they see the light, then the hatred will kick in, but you've got like 5-10 strikes usually.

additionally, they really just could not care less about what people think about them either. maybe being exposed for her evidence later will push her limit with this, but they sadly give me the vibes of the person that will just film absolutely wild tik toks in the middle of a supermarket check out lane even though everyone is looking at them like they want them dead.

in short: positive traits: personable, soft-hearted, analytical, intuitive, humorous, intelligent, a good listener, mostly open-minded, caring, logical, affable, animated

negative traits: inarticulate about feelings, unforgiving, vengeful, shameless, sometimes quick tempered, impatient, sometimes critical, vulgar, sometimes naive

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

friends from college/mutual friends with hope. i say "friends" loosely because clara wasn't really friends with hope either. just people that were in the same circle, got invited to the same things.

friends in general! they like people!!!

regulars at black ridge coffee. could be good or bad. maybe she uses the foam to put menacing things on their cup as a threat.

an idiotic pair of friends/bad influences for the other. tbt to the high school fight, clara sometimes likes to get in #dangerous behavior. borderline crimes ... shoplifting from chains ... drugs ... other things of the sort but never caught! yet

found family i beg of thee. sibling like friendships ... a father figure

a pair where they're equally as convinced that the other had a hand in hope's death or disappearance. with the knowledge of her lineage being private, the other muse would have to theorize about some other dirt for clara

a roommate! clara moved out at 22 once she got into college. this could either be on campus roommates or off. with clara's funds tho ... keep in mind they might not be living in the best place ever

similarly, neighbors! they could be neighbors now or from clara's childhood home

gut wrenching hate plots of where they really love each other but things just can’t work out for one way or another. love that shit

gentle romance <3 slow burn. someone who won’t hurt her. we can always plan for this and try for chem and just see where the wind takes us.

or unrequited love idk!!! could go either way.

people who treat clara like shit! but she likes being around them anyways because she doesn't feel that alone. could be hookups, friends, anyone. could be juicy if your muse knows they can basically do anything to clara and takes advantage of her.

the person that clara fought in high school LMAO?

other people that clara seeks revenge from??

as i mentioned in the background portion, i am very much open to clara taking any wcs/big plots that they could fit at any point, esp in their past. if you have something you're looking for, even if you're not sure if it'll work, ask me anyways bc most often i will be happy to make it work lol

licharally i am open to anything

strike through = taken

[cqsuanla]

fury shakes the rafters

pairing: dark!nat/f!reader

summary:

Aside from the cannibalism, Nat is mostly the same. Still ridiculously strong and stupidly hardheaded. And that face — flinty, cold, mean. Nat’s always been mean. 

(inspired by jennifer’s body)

additional notes: mommy kink, dom/sub, bloodplay(?), dacryphilia, uhh pussy spanking, choking, unhealthy relationship, terrible aftercare

title from a song suggested by an anon: nobody by the crane wives

(ao3)

The light in the stairwell flickers, but it doesn’t make a difference, dim and dirty as it is. It buzzes distantly in your ears. You’re too focused on taking the steps two at a time to notice. You hold your groceries to your chest and fish your keys out of your pocket. If you were strong like Nat, you might just have knocked the door clean of its hinges with the force of your body. Instead, it crashes loudly into your wall, and you nearly fall on your face from the momentum. 

In a bid to gain purchase on your wall, you sweep your coat rack over, and you stumble over it. The clatter makes you wince — you hope she’s in a good mood. It’s hard for her to process stimuli when she’s weak. You scramble onto your hands and knees, shoving scattered boxes and cans into the grocery bag. 

Then, the rhythmic thud-thud of footsteps. You pause, exhaling as your eyes close. 

“Drink?” in a monotone. 

Yikes. You open your eyes, biting your lip. Steel-toed boots. You’ve told Nat a million times that this is a shoes-off apartment. She never listens, and you never argue more. Nat stays; she’s the only one who’ll stay. You can’t drive her away. 

Her right boot rises, scraping against the floor, and you flinch. It just kicks a cereal box away so it can nudge at the shopping bag. The way she says your name, evenly, firmly, has you blinking rapidly, has your hands automatically shooting to the bag, following her prompt. Thank god the bottles are fine. You don’t know what you’d do if they had shattered. 

You wiggle a beer out of the pack, and only then do you dare to make eye contact. 

“Hi,” you murmur. 

She gives you a brief glance, impassive, before snatching the bottle from your hand and returning to her spot on the armchair. “That fucking coat rack.” She flicks the cap off your side table, grungy and scratched up for this very reason. The cap bounces off the wall and disappears under the couch. “Just move it further in. You never listen.” 

You did, weeks ago. You don’t say so. 

The coat rack came with the place, and it was nice, so you refused to get rid of it. Nat hated it, hated that it was so close to the door in your already bite-sized entryway, but never enough to throw it out herself. But you did move it because her complaints were valid, and you wanted her to like being here with you, living here with you. Anyway, she stopped complaining afterwards. Not that you think she noticed — you supposed it was a minor inconvenience to her, the way a fly was, annoying when it was in your face but non-existent once it stopped bothering you. 

Quietly, you move your groceries to the kitchen island, putting everything but your new medical supplies away. There are dirty plates in the sink, which you’ll wash after you make yourself dinner. You wonder what she’s eaten – you’d just bought two new steaks, but Nat likes a bowl of strawberry ice cream now and then.

The TV channel switches in the background. Nat snorts, and you peek around the wall to catch a report on the gruesome series of murders that have been happening lately. People in the neighbourhood hardly went out anymore, too afraid of the dark now. It would scare you too if you weren’t well aware you’d never fall victim. Nat was with you, after all, and you were with her. 

You would be with her for as long as she’d let you. So, what if she was the monster in the dark? So what? It was Nat. Your Nat. She came back to you, talked to you, fucked you. It’s not like she was disembowelling you in some grimy alleyway. She kept most of the violence away from you because she cared. Anyway, like everyone else, she had to eat. You couldn’t fault her for that. 

You’re pulling the gauze out of its packaging when Nat scoffs loudly at the news. They must’ve insulted her because she clicks the TV shut, practically inhales half her bottle and flings the remote onto the couch. 

Then, she sets her sights on you, meek behind the counter, and raises an eyebrow. “Honey, the hall’s a mess. Clean it up.” 

You frown. “You’re still hurt.” 

She rolls her eyes. “I’ll eat tomorrow, and it’ll be fine.” 

You don’t think so. The longer Nat doesn’t eat, the worse it gets. It’s how she’s in this mess in the first place. Nat’s ethereal after a feeding, next to omnipotent. But the guy she picked to eat last week turned out to be some sort of track star because he had booked it at the first sign of trouble, and she’d been forced to retreat when the sirens started blaring. The day after that, she picked a local thug as her next meal, and she’d been caught off guard by the switchblade. So, here she is: slumped on your couch and stitched up sloppily. 

Her hair is limp, skin wane and dry, and in a bad enough mood that you can basically feel it every time you’re within a two-meter radius of her. 

Her physical weakness emboldens you a little, makes you think you can get away with a bit of stubbornness. You pick up the gauze and tape and round the corner. A car speeds by, high beam making Nat’s eyes glint a deep green in the dark. The green follows you the whole way until she has to crane her head around to watch you slip her tank top off a shoulder. 

Those eyes weren’t like that before when you first started dating. You don’t mind the changes, though. Aside from the cannibalism, Nat is mostly the same. Still ridiculously strong and stupidly hardheaded. 

“You don’t want to listen?” she asks, almost conversationally. 

You know better. You clench and unclench your fist. Shakily, you lift it and tuck a hair behind Nat’s ear, hoping foolishly that it will placate her. 

“Baby,” says she, like a gentle mother to a misbehaving child, “you should really listen.” 

You trace the bumps of her stitches, staring hard at her shoulder so you won’t have to see that face — flinty, cold, mean. Nat’s always been mean. 

“At least answer me.” 

“No, Nat,” you mutter, undoing the bandages on her bicep. “I don’t want to listen.”

To her credit, she lets you fix her up. Methodically, silently, you clean her wounds and rewrap them in new bandages. She doesn’t get in the way unless it’s to take a swig of her drink. 

When you’re done with her arms and back, you move to her front. She’s got an ugly gash on her calf, bruised midway from where the man had kicked her bleeding leg. You imagine this is causing her the most pain, not just physically. Nat’s not great with sitting still. She’s independent to a fault, enjoying control to the point that it’s probably some sort of diagnosable complex, and this restriction on her mobility has her restless and irritated. 

Looking down at her, at the space between her knees, you wonder if she’ll cooperate with you. The last time you tried to clean her leg, she’d torn your duvet in half and has since refused to let you look at it. But Nat tilts her head, coy, and gestures toward the space in front of her with her bottle. 

“Scared?” she whispers.

You glance at her face just in time to catch her tongue tracing the jagged end of a canine. Mutely, you shake your head. She smiles wide.

“Liar.”

Of course. You’re always scared of her. For her, too. But you don’t think it matters; it doesn’t change anything. You just want to help her, be good for her. Anyway, she’s trying to get a reaction out of you. You refuse to take the bait, raising your eyebrows and wiggling the bandages in your hand.

“Fine.” With a roll of her eyes, she parts her legs. 

As if dealing with a feral animal, you move slowly, cautiously, afraid to make sudden movements lest she starts getting violent. You squat down and reach for the cuff of her sweatpants. 

“Ah, ah.” She slides the leg back, staring down her nose at you. You pause. “Kneel, baby.” 

Her eyes — did the ring of green get thinner? Your lips part, anticipation beginning to seep into your body, and you comply. Once you’re settled, looking up at her, she makes that same careless gesture with her bottle. A go-ahead. 

As you work, she shifts to put her beer on the table and then combs a hand into your hair. You tense, eyeing her nervously, but she only watches you, imperious, intense, and remains silent. Nevertheless, you pick up the pace, tossing the antiseptic aside and winding the gauze around her pale calf. 

She’s startlingly warm under your hands. Ever since… whatever happened to her — she wasn’t exactly forthcoming with the details — she’s run hotter than ever. You can’t sleep under a blanket with her anymore unless you’re shirtless; the heat would be unbearable. Not that Nat has any complaints about that. 

“All done,” you murmur. 

The lack of reaction from Nat gives you the courage to lean forward and press a sweet kiss to the top of her knee. The hand in your hair rewards you with a gentle scratch, and you can’t help melting into a smile. She’s still got that air of arrogance about her when you look up at her, but she’s not glaring. Which is why it comes entirely as a surprise when she clenches a fistful of hair in her hand, yanking your head back, and slaps you clean across the face with her other hand. 

You take the full brunt of her palm with a cry, almost toppling over were it not for the grip on your hair. Your cheek burns, and so does your eyes. Mostly from pain, partly from the shock of it, maybe a little from shame when you realize you’re getting wet from the rough treatment. 

Nat tuts. “Crying already?” 

You imagine you look pretty pathetic on your knees for her, eyes glassy.

“Don’t give me those eyes, baby; you know I can’t help myself.” 

“I just wanted to help.” 

“I know,” Nat says gently, tipping your head back again so you can see the false sincerity on her face. “You can fix this, you know?” 

Your eyebrows furrow, thoughts racing a mile a minute to puzzle out what she means. 

“Don’t think so hard. You’ll hurt yourself. I’ll show you how, dumb baby,” she coos as she nudges your chin with the knuckle of her finger, and you can’t help flushing deeply at that. Then, she offers a hand, and you take it, and she tugs you up into a straddle on her lap. “Come here.” 

You instinctively wind your arms around her neck, clinging on. Beneath you, she tenses and lets out a low rumbling sound that resonates deep in her chest. You inhale sharply. 

Teeth. Sharpened to deadly points. Poised over your neck. Nat’s breath comes short and hot against your skin, and her tongue, when it peeks out, drags wetly across your skin. 

This has happened once before; the first night she’d come back changed. Like before, she noses at your flushed skin, teasing you with the possibility of damage, and trails her teeth down to your traps. Back then, she hadn’t bitten you. She won’t now, you think, you hope. 

She sighs again, hovering over the meat of your shoulder and prodding her teeth against you. Doesn’t break the skin. 

“Don’t make it worse for yourself. Are you scared?” 

This time, you nod. Nat’s lips curve into a smile, and her hold on your thighs tighten enough to bruise. 

“You should listen, sweetheart,” she says against you. The front of her teeth scrapes over you when she speaks, leaving red marks behind. “I hurt you less when you’re good. Don’t you know?”

“How can you be in the mood?” you wonder, burying your face into the crook of her neck. “You’re half dead.”

“Barely.”

It would take a lot more to kill Nat like this. Anyway, how could you be in the mood when your girlfriend’s cut up like this? 

Nat stands abruptly, ignorant to your yelps and complaints, and dumps you back onto the couch in quick succession. Before you can even register what’s happened, she’s yanked your bottoms down to your ankles and has climbed between your legs. 

Even after that, you don’t get the chance to speak. She wraps her hand around your throat and pins you to the cushions. You grab onto her wrist.

Her body bears down, and you break into a sweat, in small part due to nerves, some part because she’s shoving her hand up your shirt to grab roughly at your bra, but mostly because she’s near scalding. You’re convinced her blood runs at a constant boil now. You’ve grown to love the heat, though. With her, pleasure comes white-hot, and you’d want it no other way. 

“Nat-”

“No,” she growls, and you get an eyeful of her monstrous teeth. She flexes both hands, cutting off your airway and squeezing your breast painfully. You whimper, wound tight as a coil. “Listen to me, baby.”

You look at her through hazy eyes. 

“Those eyes again. God, I love you like this.” Foolishly, your heart clenches at those words. She rucks your shirt up and claws her nails down your front. Beads of blood bloom from the thin scratches she leaves behind. “You’re beautiful when I hurt you.”

Her hand nearly crushes your throat closed, but then she releases you, and you suck air in desperately. Your hands, shaken off her arm, reach for the sides of her head. “Nat,” you croak, tasting the salt from your tears on your lips. “Nat.”

She shakes her head, descending on your chest. It hurts – badly. “Be good for mommy.”

“Mommy,” you gasp out, arching into her mouth. She ignores your pert nipples, electing instead to lick and suck at the burn between your breasts. “Please, please.”

“Shut up,” she hisses. Oh, her teeth are still out. “Hands above your head.”

You obey, another sad sound crawling out of your abused throat. 

The dark pits of her eyes drink in the sight of you, face crumpled in pain and need. A thumb wipes up the last of your blood, and she delights in smearing it across your cheek. 

“Messy baby, clean up after yourself. It’s basic,” she chides, thumb still rubbing at your face as if she were fixing up some runny mascara. “Be good now.”

You don’t dare to speak, just nod and look pleadingly up at her. Your core aches from neglect. 

She makes quick work of that, reaching down to feel the slick between your thighs. Humming, she smirks and very deliberately rubs her middle finger over your clit. You jerk up into her, mouth falling open even as you strangle your moan. 

“I could do anything to you, and you’d still want me.” 

Again, you nod. 

“Where did my little liar go?” she baits. You shake your head. “Say ‘thank you, mommy, for letting me breathe.’”

It takes you a moment to gather the brain cells and say: “Thank you, mommy.”

Her smile widens, teeth back to normal. “Again, for the lesson.”

“Thank you, mommy.”

She brings her hand down on your cunt, full strength. You scream, jolting away from her. Well, you would have if she hadn’t pressed you down by the chest, entirely uncaring about the wound she’d left there. Tears leak out the sides of your eyes, trickling into your hairline. 

“Thank me for that too,” she demands.

“Thank you,” you cry around a hiccup. 

One more spank, and another, and another. Your legs kick uselessly against the cushions, body twisting after every awful smack.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Your hole clenches around nothing, slick leaking onto the couch. Then, two fingers dip into you, and Nat thrusts them up hard and fast. She’d shoved them in on a contraction, and it hurts for a second before she’s curling her fingers into the velvet of your walls. 

She makes a pleased sound. “Tight as always. Makes me want to tear you in half, baby.”

You stare up at the ceiling. “Th-” She starts up a fast pace, digging her fingertips into your front wall. “Thank you!”

Her cheek rests on your chest, listening to the thunder of your heart. “We should try that big one.” Impossibly, your heart rate quickens at the thought, and you manage to shake your head. She laughs, the sound sharp and cruel, and music to your ears. “Maybe another time then.”

She sits up then, still working her fingers into your cunt, and moves her other hand to your mons. She pets gently over your labia, a sharp contrast to the vicious pace she’s keeping up. Your head spins. 

“My baby,” she breathes, “good enough to fucking eat.”

But she parts your folds to press her fingers into your clit, circling them once, twice, thrice, and you’re so close. So desperately close. 

She leans down, near delicate in her movements, and licks into your mouth. You taste copper and beer and the faintest sweetness. Urgently, you try to kiss back. 

If she’s mean, she’d pull back and deny you the chance to come with her mouth on yours. 

She must think that you’ve suffered enough, though, because she rubs her thumb at your clit and drives her fingers deeper into you, and you push up as far as you can into her body with a scream. You’re swallowed in molten heat, pleasure stripping away at you until you’re just bones on the couch. 

When you come to, Nat’s pulling out some bandages for your chest. You’re too tired to do or say anything, forced into silence by her dominance. 

She smiles at you, still not kind, but it doesn’t look bestial like before. Maybe just self-satisfied. She strokes your sweaty hair as she fixes you up, shushing you if you moan quietly from aftershocks or pain. You are in a lot of pain, bruised and scratched up as you are.

“Good girl,” she says when she’s done. 

Finally, you muster the energy to grab her hand and say, “Thank you.”

She lets you hold on for a few seconds before pulling away. “Sure.”

You wish she’d hold you for a bit, but you don’t vocalize it. She’s been through too much in the last few days; you shouldn’t burden her—

“Don’t be fucking needy,” she says, suddenly and harshly. Your face must have given you away. 

“I don’t mean to be,” you mutter, bringing your arm up to cover your eyes. Feeling stupid, feeling mad that you feel stupid, you say: “It would just be nice if you’d stay for a bit.”

A hand grabs your arm, yanking it away from your head, and you’re treated to a view of her scowl. “Where would I go?”

You didn’t mean it that way, but you don’t know how to get out of this hole you’ve dug yourself. “I-I don’t know.”

Out of nowhere, her hand slaps your cunt again, overstimulated, sore, puffy. You groan, curling in on yourself and hugging your knees to your chest. 

“Fuck, Nat.”

She takes the opportunity to sit down on the end of the couch, where your legs once were. The TV turns back on, and you hear her take a sip from her can of beer. “Clean up the hall later.”

At least she stayed.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Finding Love (L.F)

Warnings : like one swear word, mentions of divorce, reader doesn’t believe in love

Word Count : 2891

Synopsis : her best friend set her up on 7 dates for a project he called “finding love”, but none of the guys made her heart flutter the way he does. 

“Okay, so there’s just some final questions you have to answer.” I nodded, barely looking at my best friend, thinking about the conversation I had with his professor just a few days prior.

           “I hope Felix’s grade won’t suffer because I didn’t find love with this project.” I told her. “He worked really hard, picking out 7 different guys he thought would compliment me well. And they were all lovely, but Miss, I just don’t believe in love. I tried because I don’t want Felix to fail, but none of them sparked anything in me.”

           “Y/N, Felix’s grade will not suffer just because you didn’t find love, though I don’t think that’s true. Forgive me if I cross a line, but I believe you already found love before this project began, but you’re scared. For you, love has always equaled loss, and this person is someone you could never lose, so you refuse to love them. Think about it for a minute.”

           “Felix is my best friend.” I countered and watched as she smiled.

           “I never said it was him.” I just stared at her, going through her words again. “Think about it, Y/N. Love isn’t as scary as it seems.”

           “Did you enjoy the dates you went on?” I met his eyes, pretending like I was listening the whole time. I nodded and watched as he wrote my answer down. “Let’s go through each of the dates and then continue the rest of the questions.” Again I nodded as Felix set the papers down and focused all his attention on me.

           Chan was the first guy I went on a date with for Felix’s project. He picked me up and I felt comfortable with him as soon as I opened the door. He greeted me with a warm smile and an awkward laugh as he stumbled over his introduction.  

           We ended up at his place, ordering some food and watching dumb romcoms on Netflix. The two of us laughed at the over-the-top cringey moments, and at some point, we fell asleep. I don’t remember falling asleep, I just remember waking up some time later, wrapped up in Chan’s arms with him still asleep.

           It was an enjoyable date, something very lowkey, but there was no spark. It felt more like a hang out than a date.

           “Did you just leave while he was sleeping?” Felix asked with a chuckle.

           “No! Of course not!” I countered, laughing at how ridiculous that would be. “I woke him up and he walked me home.” Felix nodded, urging me to go on.

           Minho was next, and at first he seemed like he’d rather be anywhere else, but he quickly opened up. “I figured since it was a nice day, we could have a picnic.” He told me with a smile as he walked towards the park.

           It was really relaxing. We just sat on the blanket he brought, munching on the food he made while getting to know each other. He told me about his family and his friends, what he was studying, and what he hoped to accomplish in life. If I’m honest, I could listen to Minho talk about his dreams for hours and not get bored.

           When he asked me about myself, it was like I drew a blank. The only stories I could come up with were all about Felix. How we met, how we agreed to attend the same college so we wouldn’t be separated, how he is the only person I’d ever need in my life.

           “You talked about me?”

           “You seem surprised.” I laughed. “You already know you’re my favourite person. Of course I’m going to talk about you.”

           “Look at you being cute.” I felt the heat rise to my cheeks at the compliment, something that didn’t happen with the guys I went on dates with. Sure, they complimented me, and I was flattered, but they didn’t seem to effect me the way Felix does. “Continue!”

           To me, the date with Minho was the most intimate. It’s the one that felt the most like a date. But again, the spark wasn’t there.

           Changbin was the third, and I must say I was surprised. I’ve heard the rumours about him around the school, so when he took me to the planetarium, I was rather surprised. “Felix said you were into astronomy.” I smiled so wide when we got inside and the show began. I spouted off random facts I knew to Changbin who seemed really interested in what I had to say. He listened to every word I said, and even spouted off some of his own facts.

           It was like running into an old friend, someone you haven’t seen in years but missed dearly. We clicked immediately and it felt like finding a safe place. For a minute I wondered if this is what people were talking about when they found their soulmates. But the longer I spent with Changbin, the more I realized that the connection I was feeling was purely platonic, on both ends. He’s definitely someone I see in my future, but only as a friend.

           “Hey, at least we’re getting somewhere!” Felix explained. “For a whole minute you thought he could be it!” I laughed at how excited Felix seemed, but my heart seemed to fall to my stomach. Why was he so focused on me finding love? Why does he seem excited to see if I fell for one of the guys he set me up with? “Keep going! 3 down, 4 to go!” He smiled at me, and I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach. No. No that’s not right. I must have eaten something weird.

           Hyunjin took me to an escape room. I’d always wanted to do one but was always scared. Hyunjin didn’t really give me a choice, telling me I would have loads of fun. So, we went. Unfortunately, he chose one of the hardest rooms they offered, thinking we were smart enough to escape.

           It was fun looking around different rooms, trying to find the clues to escape. He was really easy to work with, and though we didn’t escape, we made it pretty far. We then grabbed some ice cream and just walked around, learning more about each other, and complaining about how difficult the room was. “You know, if I wasn’t so distracted by how pretty you looked, we totally could have escaped!”

           “Oh so you’re saying it’s my fault?” I giggled, taking another bite of my ice cream.

           “It is! But it’s okay, I forgive you.” He smiled as he stole a bite of my ice cream.

           “Yah!” I screamed before quickly stealing a bite from his and sticking my tongue out at him.

           “You’re lucky you’re cute.” We parted ways soon after, but I had a smile on my face the rest of the day. It was really fun and something I wasn’t expecting from these dates.

           “Would you go out with Hyunjin again?” I shook my head and Felix’s wide smile seemed to faulter. “Well moving on then!”

           The date with Jisung was the most cliché, but it was still a lot of fun! We went to the amusement park and spent the day riding all the rides and even trying our hand at the different games. I’m fairly sure I ate my weight in sweets that day, but Jisung didn’t judge, and honestly ate more than I did.

           I was nervous at first, but I was quick to fall out of that and just be myself. Jisung is someone that makes you feel comfortable being whatever kind of person you are.

           As the sun set, we finished the day off on the ferris wheel. Super cliché, but it was really cute how excited he was. So I followed him onto the ferris wheel and took in just how beautiful the amusement park looked at night time, with all the lights on and couples walking around hand in hand.

           He walked me right up to my front door and told me to have a good night. I watched as he walked away out of sight before heading inside. My feet were aching, but I couldn’t stop the smile from forming.

           “Let me guess. Still no spark?”

           “No spark.”

           “Well okay, date number 6!”

           Seungmin took me to the aquarium, and it was so much prettier than I remembered. The last time I was there, my parents took me and my older brother. I remember looking at all the pretty colours, in awe of just how pretty the fish looked.

           This time around, though I was still in awe at how pretty everything was, I was more focused on watching the little kids run around in amazement, wondering if that’s what my brother and I looked like to the adults when we came.

           Seungmin seemed really nervous the whole time, barely saying a word and instead leaving most of the talking up to me. But he didn’t seem annoyed, instead he seemed intrigued by all my stories. He shared a couple of his favourite memories about the aquarium and told me why it was his favourite place. “Let me take a picture of you!” I exclaimed at one point. “To add to your memories at your favourite place.” I think that was the moment I first saw him smile wide. It was so precious, and I would have done almost anything to see it again.

           “Oh so you’ll go to the aquarium with Seungmin but not me!?” Felix pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

           “Yah! It was your idea that I go on these dates!” He continued to pout. “Okay fine. Let’s go to the aquarium sometime.” He smiled wide, uncrossing his arms and clapping. “You are probably the weirdest person I know.”

           “But you love me!” More than I think both of us realized. “But enough about us, what about date number 7.”

           The date with Jeongin was the most unexpected as he took me to the library. We picked out a book for the other to read, found somewhere secluded to sit, and began to read. At some point, he handed me a headphone, and we listened to music together as we quietly read.

           Every once in a while, he would do or say something that would make me laugh. It’s like he made it his mission to make me laugh as loud as possible and get us kicked out. It worked, by the way. I have no idea what he said, but I couldn’t contain my laughter, and the two of us got kicked out.

           We ended up at a quiet café just down the block and just talked. We talked about the book we were reading, about school, friends, family, past, aspirations for the future. He was the easiest to open up to. He never looked at me with a look of pity, the way others do when they find out my tragic past, and instead made a joke to lighten up the mood.

           I think I spent the longest time with Jeongin. We just kept telling stories and laughing and before we knew it, the barista was coming up to us to tell us they were closing. Neither of us even noticed it was dark out.

           “So it seems like all 7 dates were successful in one way or another.”

           “I suppose you could say that.” His professor’s words kept ringing in my mind. My whole life, I’ve believed love was something just in books and movies. I would see the couples on campus claiming to be in love, just to break up later.

           I watched my parents argue every single day before divorcing. I watched my brother fall head over heels in love with a girl who played with his feelings. A part of me wanted someone to come along and change my views on love. Show me that love can be a beautiful thing. Falling in love was a risk, and I just wanted someone to be worth the risk.

           And as I sat beside my best friend, recounting the seven dates he set me up on, I was hit with the realization that I found my person a long time ago. Felix was the person I turned to when I needed a shoulder to cry on, he was the first person I wanted to tell all good news to. When I pictured my future, he’s right there beside me.

           He was right in front of me this entire time, and I just refused to believe it. As much as I hate to admit it, his professor was right. To me, love has always equaled loss. You love someone, you lose them. Felix is the only person in my life I couldn’t lose. It would be like losing a piece of me.

           “So out of the seven of them, is there someone you’d consider going out with again?” Felix picked up his papers he previously set down on the table, no longer looking at me.

           “No.” I answered simply, completely coming to terms with the fact that I’m in love with my best friend. “They’re great guys, but I think I know someone better.” I smiled, looking down at my hands clasped in my lap.

           “You do?” Suddenly, the project he’s been working so hard on was forgotten. He looked at me, and I looked right back, admiring his soft features. I guess a part of me always knew he was the one for me, it was just waiting for the rest of me to catch up.

           “I do.” I responded, my voice barely above a whisper. “He’s the best person I know. And honestly, he’s the only person I’d consider going on a second date with.”

           “Did you go on a date I didn’t know of?” He asked, looking through all of his notes, trying to see if maybe he had missed something. Maybe he had set you up with 8 people but forgot. But there was only one name in his notes that could be a possible 8th date. A name he wrote down in case one of the others turned down this experiment. A name surrounded by question marks; his own.

           “Why is your name written down?” I asked, pointing at the notes he was looking through. “I think I’d remember going on a date with you.” I giggled, looking up at him.

           “Oh, I was just a back up. In case one of the others fell through.” I nodded, coming to that conclusion myself. But the thought of going on a date with him gave me butterflies.

           “I think for the sake of the experiment, you should see if you could be the one to prove me wrong.” He stared at me with wide eyes, obviously wondering what was going through my head. “I mean, you do know me the best. I think if you tried you could win me over.”

           “The project specifically said 7, Y/N.” I slumped back in my seat.

           “Unfortunate. Well I guess we could go on a date just because.”

           “What?” I let out a small laugh at his bewildered expression before sitting up in my seat, leaning closer to him.

           “I’m asking you out.” The words didn’t seem to register in his brain, so I continued. “I talked to your professor, and she opened my eyes. She told me that for me, love always equaled loss, so I never let myself fall in love, especially with you. Because, you’re the one person I can’t lose.” I watched as his expression changed as the words registered.

           “Are you confessing to me right now?” I chuckled as I nodded.

           “Yeah I am. I’m confessing to you right now, Felix.”

           “Holy shit.” I couldn’t help but let out another laugh. “So you’re telling me that you went on seven different dates with the seven biggest heartthrobs of our school, but you’re in love with me?” I nodded, my confidence slowly fading the longer this conversation continues. Honestly, I’m not sure why I confessed. There’s never been a moment in our years of friendship where I thought Felix could have feelings for me. There was just a part of me screaming to let him know, to confess. “Forget the project, I’m taking you out right now.” He said while throwing his papers over his shoulder.

           “Felix!” I exclaimed while laughing, looking at him now standing.

           “What? I’ve been waiting years for this! The project can wait. Right now, I’m taking the love of my life out on our first date.” I couldn’t help the smile that formed as I took his hand. His project was long forgotten as the two of us went out and did all the things we did as friends, but now there was more hand holding and a lot more kisses.

           Love isn’t as scary as it seems. With the right person, love is beautiful. And though Y/N didn’t find love with the 7 boys I set her up with, she found love. A love that at first terrified her but made her happy at the same time. Falling in love is a risk, but it’s a risk she’s finally willing to take. And as the person she fell in love with, I hereby promise to never make her regret taking that risk.

[roscgcld]

HEADCANONS + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || ‘trashcan’ boyfriend

request: HELLO!! Hope ur having a wonderful day!!! i really love ur writing! i've been rereading it everyday to get my daily serotonin💕. So Is it okay if i request a hc of megumi being a boyfriend trash can, like his s/o can't finish an apple and megumi just eat it without even saying anything when they hand it to him. and he got teased cuz he did it in front of the other student or satoru.

note: honestly, this idea is super cute cx the idea of megumi having a huge appetite is honestly so canon for me lol. and i can definitely see this happening; and i bet you half the time he doesn’t even know that it’s half eaten since he’ll be busy doing something like going on his phone or smth like that lmao. aaaaa, i love him so much >< 

pronouns: them/they

if there is one thing that you have an issue with, it would be the fact that you cannot seem to finish whatever it is that is on your plate

whether it is noodles, rice, or even fries - you can never seem to finish any of the regular portions that is served in restaurants

ordering from the kids menu will not work since you’d get hungry after awhile, yet ordering normal portion meals makes it hard for you to finish your meal 

this is where your beloved boyfriend megumi always comes in handy 

there is no denying that both him and yuji have massive, and i mean massive appetites - you have seen yuji eating 2 big macs and 2 large fries in one sitting before, and still had space for ice cream either

and even though your boyfriend is not that extreme, he still manage to eat a big mac and an extra cheese burger after your most recent mission with him 

because of this, you tend to sneak your food to your boyfriend’s plate; or megumi will just nudge you and asked if you wanted to continue eating whatever it is on your plate when he notice you started to pick at your food

the reason he does this is one, so gojo does not have any reason to tease the absolute shit out of you; since he loves to find any sort of reason to poke fun at his students. 

and two, nowadays stores charge for takeaway boxes to reduce the waste from one time use plastics, and who honestly wants to pay extra for leftovers?

so he always eats the leftover food on your plate without hesitation; this happened even before you two became a couple. it was just something he always does whenever you two are out together

surprisingly enough, no one has actually caught you two doing this before - they just sort of assume that you were like everyone else, maybe eating smaller portions than average, but you still finish most of the food on your plate

think the first person who really catches you doing your little routine would be nobara - because let’s be honest here. who can really hide a secret from nobara for long?

she first noticed your little ‘routine’ with megumi after you three had completed your mission at megumi’s old school - where nobara had demanded and whined for express sushi 

and since akari knew that if she does not feed your group, you’re going to be whining all the way back to campus about the hunger; so she brought you to the sushi place that you four went to with gojo after meeting nobara for the first time 

because of yuji and huge ass stomach, he obviously ordered a huge quantity of food. so it is a given that everyone is supposed to help out with finishing the rest of the sushi 

soon the food arrived, and soon everyone started to tuck into the food - all of you definitely in higher spirits with everything that had happened as you started to destroy the food before you

you were doing pretty well, having ordered some ramen with a side of tempura, and had managed to finish about a quarter of the bowl of ramen before you gently nudge megumi, giving him your puppy eyes once he turns away from his plate of food 

he just finishes his bite of sashimi before he wordlessly took your bowl to eat the noodles, to which you perked up before you lean over to kiss the corner of his lips, causing him to blush as he continues to eat your food

whilst you two were in your own bubble, you two had no idea that nobara was watching the entire thing. but instead of teasing them, she actually finds the entire thing super cute, so she just smiles softly into her bowl of food as she turned away from you two

the next time it happened in front of people, was unfortunately when you all were chilling in the rec room after a long day of classes

you were curled up against your boyfriend’s chest, scrolling through your phone with your back to his chest whilst he had one of his books held in one hand, reading over it quietly

gojo, who had decided to join the four of you, was scrolling through his phone, soft music playing from the Bluetooth speaker on the table as nobara and yuji played some random game on their switch

you were nibbling on an apple whilst scrolling through your phone, and had taken another bite from the apple when you made a soft face at the feeling of suddenly being too full to take another bite

so without missing a beat you shifted before you gently held up the apple to your boyfriend expectedly; who didn’t take his eyes away from his book as he wordlessly took the apple and took a bite from it 

unfortunately for you two gojo had looked up just in time to see megumi casually grabbing your half eaten apple and finishing it without another comment, his crystalline blue eyes blinking behind his sunglasses before he grins and pushes himself up from his lounging position

“i didn’t know you two were that close, megumi-chan~”

megumi, as if suddenly remembering the others in the room, freezes in shock as his face heats up immediately, his horrified eyes snapping away from his book to face his grinning teacher’s gaze

without missing a beat megumi hurled the apple core at gojo, who just laughs at how red his student’s face is as he buried his burning face into the side of your neck whilst the apple core hovered before gojo before it fell onto the ground

you just giggle and put your phone down, reaching back to gently run your fingers through megumi’s hair whilst you gave your sensei an amused look, not even surprised that he was going to make fun of your boyfriend

“leave him alone - he offer to eat my food because i can never finish it.” you tried to reason, to which gojo just gasps before he sat up a little, his eyes clearly widening in clear delight at the new information.

“you’re telling me this happens often?!”

it got to the point where nobara had tossed a pillow at her teacher for being too loud, scowling over at him in annoyance over her switch console while berating him for making such a big deal over something so small 

“honestly you make it sound like fushiguro into some kinky shit. it’s food - i make yuji eat my food when i can’t finish it.” 

before gojo can make some cheeky response, megumi had enough and summoned his rabbits, sending them to smother their teacher on the couch with a scowl

you just rolled your eyes fondly, ignoring gojo’s loud cries for help underneath the heap of shikigami rabbits as you turn in your boyfriend’s arms; resting on your front against his chest as he gave you an embarrassed look

“don’t mind him - you’re still my cute boyfriend.” you just giggled and tossed your arms around his neck, him dropping his book onto the couch before he wrapped his arms around you tightly as you pepper his red faces in kisses

and you can’t help but find him so cute as you smother him in love, non of you really rushing to help your sensei underneath megumi’s mountain of rabbits

he’ll survive - he is the strongest sorcerer, as he loves to claim after all

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform

[snelbz]

Life As We Know it {Chapter 15}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta looked in the mirror and figured she looked decent enough. Having not been on an actual date in quite some time, she felt a little off her game, but the dress she had chosen felt better than the others she had tried on.

After admiring the deep, crimson color and the way her breasts looked in the low neckline, Nesta sprayed her hair and slipped on her heels before grabbing her clutch and walking down the stairs.

Nyx was in the living room, bouncing up and down in his exersaucer. When he saw Nesta, he grinned.

“Hi, sweet boy,” she said, leaning down to kiss the top of his head and hoping her lipstick hadn’t rubbed off. “Cassian?”

“Kitchen!”

“I’m heading out,” Nesta said, leaning back up.

He was a room away, in the kitchen, making the gods knew what for their dinner. Nyx always ate whatever she made for him, but it was typically a challenge. Earlier in the week, Cass had started deviating from his generic meals for Nyx of jarred baby food and puffs. It seemed like it didn’t matter what the man fed him, Nyx adored it.

She made her way into the other room and stood behind a chair at the kitchen table and cleared her throat. “I shouldn’t be home too late,” she said, drumming her fingers along the wood.

Cass glanced back at her and his eyebrows rose. “You sure? You look pretty nice for shouldn’t be home too late.”

Blushing, she said, “We’re just going to dinner.”

He turned back to the stove, where he was sautéing some broccoli and carrots, but she caught the smirk on his face. “I doubt dinner will be the only thing he wants to eat.”

A knock from the front door halted whatever her response was going to be.

For a moment, neither of them moved, then Cassian blinked. “Are you going to get that or should I?”

Nesta huffed as she made her way back through the house and opened the front door.

Balthazar was there, that glorious smile plastered on his handsome face. His brown eyes went wide in appreciation. “Wow. You look incredible.”

Nesta looked down at her dress before saying, “Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.”

“Thanks-.”

“Alright, don’t keep her out too late and make sure she doesn’t drink too much.” Nesta spun around to find Cassian leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. “She’s not a pretty drunk.”

She widened her eyes at him, not sure if he was joking or not. The glimmer in his eyes said yes, but she couldn’t be sure.

Balthazar narrowed his eyes slightly, his gaze trailing down Cassian’s arms. “Are you Illyrian?”

Nesta swore she felt the tension in the room thicken at the three words.

“I am,” Cassian said, and she wondered if the flexing of his arms was intentional or not. “So I’d be real careful what the next words out of your mouth are.”

Balthazar smirked and unbuttoned one of his shirt sleeves, rolling it up to reveal—

Illyrian markings.

Cassian’s brows shot up and Nesta looked back and forth between the two of them.

“You’re from Illyria?” Nesta asked, once it was clear that Cassian wouldn’t say a thing.

“I am,” Balthazar said. “Grew up in the mountains. Moved here nearly a decade ago, but my parents still live there. I go there a couple of times a year.”

Cassian whistled before Nesta could say anything. “The mountains are beautiful. My mom used to take me up there for a getaway when I was younger.”

“Ah, yeah, I love it there,” Balthazar said. “I’d love to move back someday.”

Nesta cleared her throat, awkwardly. “I hate to break up this bonding moment, but we do have dinner reservations.”

“Right, of course,” Balthazar said, nodding. He stepped back, letting Nesta by. “If you’re ready, we can go.”

“Cass, have a good night,” she said, throwing him a look over her shoulder.

“Yeah, y’all, have fun,” he said, smirking at her as he closed the door behind them.

Balthazar walked Nesta to his car, opening her door for her and heading to his own side, climbing behind the driver seat. They rode in silence for a second before Balthazar said, “I’m glad you said yes.”

Nesta, despite herself, blushed as she looked over at him across the car. “I am, too.”

*

Cassian hadn’t been lying when he told Nesta he wanted her to go out with the doctor. If she had a boyfriend, he’d be less likely to think about sleeping with her again.

But he hadn’t expected to see another Illyrian at the front door. There would have been no way he could’ve known, since Nyx had only had to go to the doctor once while they’d had him, but surely Rhys would have mentioned that his son’s doctor was Illyrian at least once. There weren’t many Illyrians in Velaris, most of them choosing to stay in Illyria, to the north.

He hated that Balthazar was a nice guy.

A great guy.

A damn Illyrian.

While Nesta was gone, Cassian tried to keep his mind off of her on her date. And yet, it’s all he could think about, which was ridiculous. Nesta deserved to be happy, deserved to have fun.

And Cassian wasn’t complaining. He loved hanging out with Nyx, loved doing all the things that uncles did. And yet, Cassian felt off.

Everything was better when Nesta was around.

Nyx whimpered and Cassian seemed to understand as he lifted his nephew out of his bouncy seat and cradled him in his arms.

“Aunt Nesta will be home soon,” he crooned, bouncing Nyx.

The baby still looked around, looking for her.

For the first couple months after the accident, Nyx had constantly looked around, constantly searched for Rhys and Feyre. But recently, he hadn’t been looking around much anymore, and when he was it was for one of them.

Silently, Cassian had hoped it didn’t mean he was forgetting about Rhys and Feyre.

He sighed, carrying him to the kitchen. “Uncle Cass wants some ice cream, how does that sound?”

He clapped once and Cassian chuckled. He got a big bowl, with two spoons and settled back on the couch, Nyx next to him.

Nyx’s bites were much smaller, and Cassian tried his best not to laugh when his eyebrows bunched together, a little brain freeze hitting him unexpectedly. After he’d had a few bites, Cassian set him down on the carpet, letting him crawl over to where his toys sat on the floor.

“When are you gonna walk, dude?” He asked, watching as he banged two plastic blocks against each other.

Nyx had mastered pulling himself up right before he turned one. Yet for whatever reason, he still hasn’t taken his first steps. He and Nesta talked about it a lot, and they’d discussed whether it was something they should ask his doctor about.

He supposed Nesta could do so tonight if she was so inclined.

“It’s about time for bed, you know,” Cassian said, watching as Nyx threw his toys across the living room. “For you and me. Once you go to sleep, I’ll be right behind you.”

Nyx made a noise that nearly made Cassian laugh out loud.

“Exactly,” Cassian went on. “So, let’s get you in your pajamas, then Uncle Cassian is going to relax for a while.”

Nyx didn’t protest as Cassian carried him upstairs and started to get him ready for bed. Cassian gave Nyx a bath and got him into his pajamas before he laid him in his crib. After patting his belly, Cassian went back downstairs and laid on the couch.

He laid in silence for ten minutes before deciding that Nyx was sound asleep and nothing would wake him.

Now, all he could think about was Nesta’s date.

He didn’t let himself think about why that was.

*

Nesta wasn’t sure she had laughed this hard in months. She was actually fairly sure she hadn’t.

Not since before the accident.

“Wait, wait,” she said, using her napkin to dab underneath her eyes, having laughed so hard that tears slipped out. “There were how many people there?”

“At least two thousand at the game and way, way more watching on TV,” Balthazar replied, cringing, reliving the time he’d accidentally been pantsed during a championship baseball game in college.

And had left nothing to the imagination.

Nesta was laughing again, but took a sip of her wine and shook her head. She was having an amazing time. The conversation was coming easily, the food was delicious, and Bal had made a spectacular wine choice.

He reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m having a good time,” she admitted, surprising herself.

He brushed a thumb over her knuckles and smiled. “I am, too.”

Nesta looked down where their hands met. His hands were interesting. Softer than she expected, but strong. Not rough, at all, like Cassian’s were.

Her eyes snapped up to Bal’s.

She wasn’t going to think about Cassian.

“You know, I hear they have amazing desserts here,” Nesta went on, keeping her hand in his.

“I hear the same,” Balthazar said. “In fact, I may have ordered us a sample board while you were in the ladies’ room.”

Nesta raised a brow. “Is that so?”

Balthazar nodded with a grin. “I figured why only taste one when you can taste them all?”

Nesta laughed, quietly. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Just as dessert came, Balthazar ordered another bottle of wine, and Nesta was blown away. Once again, she knew that doctors made good money, but it was surely the most extravagant date she had ever been on.

Having already eaten the cheesecake and the pavlova, Nesta scooped up a bite of chocolate cake and moaned. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she sighed, delighted.

When she opened her eyes, Balthazar was watching her, intently.

Nesta’s cheeks turned pink.

If she would have been asked to sleep with Balthazar a week before, she would have surely said yes. But now? Even with that look in his eye, she hesitated. He was handsome. Sexy, even, and she was certain that underneath his suit he was built like a Greek god. He was charming. He was kind. He was a perfect gentleman.

On paper, he was complete and utter perfection in every single way.

A part of her — a bigger part of her than she liked to admit — however, couldn’t shake the pleasure she had received only nights before by someone who was very much not the man sitting across the table from her now.

“I’m stuffed,” Nesta said, at last, draining what was left in her wine glass.

“Happily stuffed or in pain stuffed?” Balthazar asked, his voice a little quieter, that look in his eye remaining.

Nesta chuckled, softly. “Oh, happily, for sure.”

“Good,” Balthazar replied, and waved to the server for their check.

They were back in his car within fifteen minutes, and Balthazar reached across the middle console to take Nesta’s hand.

She let him.

“I have to confess,” Balthazar began, his voice just above the soft radio, “that I don’t want this night to end.”

“Does that mean that you’re taking me out again?” Nesta asked, looking over at him.

He smiled, not taking his eyes off the road. “Does that mean you’re saying yes to another date?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” she replied, tracing the line of his long fingers with her free hand. She quietly admitted, “Though, I won’t have another free Saturday for a couple of weeks.”

“That’s okay.” He pulled their joined hands across the console and pressed his lips to the back of her hand. “I can wait.”

His lips were warm against her skin, and he had just a bit of stubble on his face, enough to tickle, not to scratch. She swallowed roughly, wondering again what he would be like as a lover. From what she knew of him, she was almost sure that he would be sure, slow and calculated. Everything he’d do would be to ensure her pleasure, which she certainly wouldn’t be opposed to, but…

She wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted anymore, not when she knew how amazing it could be to be with someone who was completely unleashed, who was frenzied as he tried to bring her to release, and—

Balthazar said something and Nesta was completely lost in her thoughts. She cleared her throat, grateful he couldn’t see the blush on her cheeks as she said, “I’m sorry, I was out of it for a moment.”

He chuckled quietly. “It’s okay. I asked if you might want to see a movie one night this week, if you had any free nights?”

Nesta thought about it for a moment. “I’m free on Thursday.”

“Thursday,” he repeated, and nodded. “Alright. Thursday. I’ll pick you up at seven?”

“Perfect,” Nesta said, smiling as Balthazar pulled into her driveway.

He parked, got out, opened Nesta’s door, and walked her up to the front door. “Until Thursday, then.”

“Until Thursday,” she promised. He leaned forward and kissed her, softly.

It was a quick kiss, but it was nice.

They said their goodbyes then Nesta was opening the door, making her way inside.

The house was quiet, as she expected it to be at a quarter till eleven. After slipping off her shoes and setting her clutch near the door, Nesta was tiptoeing through the house, only stopping when she caught sight of Cassian sprawled across the couch.

She couldn’t help the smile that bloomed as she looked at him. He had one of Nyx’s stuffed animals clutched in his hand, halfway behind his head almost as if he was using it as a pillow. One of his legs hung off the side of the couch, his foot pressed flat against the floor, and Nesta couldn’t help the quiet chuckle as she stood there, looking at him. He looked so peaceful while he was asleep, his face relaxed and almost boyish like this. It was so at odds with the smirking mischief she usually saw there. She wondered if this is what he would have looked like if she would have asked him to stay in her bed the other night. Shaking her head, Nesta quickly banished the thought, not wanting to detract from the almost perfect date she’d just had.

Glancing around the living room, she noticed that it was an absolute wreck. Toys were strewn everywhere, as if they’d been thrown as far as Nyx’s little hands could manage them, and a completely melted, but mostly empty bowl of ice cream sat on the coffee table. Unable to stop the quiet chuckle, she silently picked up Nyx’s toys, putting them back in the basket where they belonged. She also scooped up the remains of the bowl of ice cream and carried it into the kitchen.

She turned the water on a low stream and was rinsing out the bowl when she heard a sleepy voice behind her.

“You’re home early.”

The rasp in his voice made her knees weak.

She looked over her shoulder to find Cassian leaning against the doorframe, his eyelids half fallen, one hand scratching the back of his neck.

Nesta chuckled. “Early? Must not be too early if you’re drooling all over the couch cushions.”

Cassian huffed a laugh as he came up behind her. “You don’t have to do that. I was planning on cleaning it.”

“No big deal,” she said, placing it in the dishwasher. “I’m pretty awake, thought I’d take care of a few things anyway.”

Cassian nodded as he leaned back against the island. “So…”

Nesta turned and crossed her arms as she leaned back against the counter. “So.”

“Did you have fun with Doctor Wonderful?” Cassian asked.

“I did,” she said, leaving it at that.

He waited for a moment, but when it was clear that that was all she was going to give him, he asked, “Yet you’re home before midnight and are wide awake enough to clean up after me and the baby?”

Nesta knew what he was asking, what he was insinuating, without voicing the words.

Why didn’t you go home with him?

“It would seem so,” she replied, a hand reaching up okay with the charm dangling from her necklace.

Cassian’s eyes tracked each motion as the charm zipped back and forth along the chain. His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip and he nodded. “Well, I’m glad you had a good time.”

She wasn’t sure if she was waiting for him to say something else, but when he abruptly turned and headed for the stairs, she blurted, “How was your night?”

Pausing, Cassian turned back to look at her. He laughed quietly, and said, “My night doesn’t matter, Nes. Just as long as you had fun. Goodnight.”

He didn’t give her a second to reply as he turned the corner and she heard his footsteps thumping up the stairs. A moment later, his door closed.

Nesta spent far too long thinking about his words after he left.

Just as long as you had fun.

Why did such kind, simple words bother her so much?

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Nineteen

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: another chapter where the girls are clowns and cassian worships nesta's every breath 🙄 i promise some variety is headed your way soon

***

Gwyn adamantly refuses to accept any gifts for her birthday, much to Emerie’s irritation and Nesta’s relief. No amount of love for her friends can make Nesta enjoy the turmoil of hunting for the perfect gift, and she happily shows up at Gwyn’s apartment that night with nothing save for an overnight bag.

Gwyn easily has the nicest home out of all three of the girls, and it makes Nesta feel oddly proud to have a financially stable friend. Nesta herself has been flacking on her legal consultant duties to Night Court Inc., choosing to make do with the money she’s already earned while focusing on school.

Once they’ve all changed into sleep clothes and are settled around the living room coffee table with a cupcake and a glass of wine each, Gwyn pulls out a brightly colored bracelet-making kit with a sheepish grin. “I found this while I was looking through my childhood things,” she says, opening the kit. “You guys aren’t too grown for it, are you?”

“Depends,” Emerie hums, leaning over to get a closer look. “Is it Rainbow Loom?”

She gets her answer when Gwyn dumps out bundles of multicolored string instead of rubber bands onto the table. Looking disappointed, Emerie plucks up a handful of string. “Fine, I guess I can make do.”

Nesta licks cream cheese frosting off her thumb. “How do you make them? The bracelets?”

She’s met with two dumbfounded stares. “Have you never been to a thirteen year old’s slumber party?” Gwyn says.

“...No?”

When Gwyn and Emerie keep staring, Nesta feels the need to add, “I’ve never been to a sleepover. This is my first.” She was never one to be invited to sleepovers or social gatherings; even when she made acquaintances in middle and high school, they were just that—acquaintances.

“That’s… actually kind of sad,” Emerie says. Gwyn elbows her hard, making her yelp.

“I never thought of it that way,” Nesta says, shrugging. Though maybe it’s because a lot of things about her childhood were sad; it isn’t like she kept count of it all.

“Well, you can learn how to make bracelets now,” Gwyn states, taking out a little plastic baggie and emptying it out onto the table. Small silver charms scatter everywhere. “Everyone gets three colors and one charm.”

Nesta leans forward, making out the different charms. She spies one in the shape of a book, and another in the shape of a dove, and one in the shape of a music note. She snatches up the eighth note before anyone else can. Gwyn takes the book for herself, and Emerie considers the selection of charms before picking a dagger-shaped one. They prepare their string next.

“Now, we can either braid them or knot them.” Gwyn demonstrates how to do it either way, Nesta watching closely before imitating her. She braids the strings of her bracelet as best she can, her cheeks turning red with frustration whenever she spies one of the other girls’ perfect knots. Her half-eaten cupcake is forgotten as she tries to get her bracelet to stay together.

At one point she just has to accept the shoddy work she’s done and tie the bracelet off. She checks to see if it fits on her wrist.

“Now everyone give their bracelet to the person on their left,” Gwyn declares.

Nesta clutches her sloppily-made bracelet to her chest as Emerie responds, “What?”

“So we can wear each other’s bracelets,” Gwyn explains. “And carry around a part of each other all the time.”

“If I had known we were gonna be sentimental, I wouldn’t have picked the cute charm,” Emerie grumbles. Nesta agrees, but Gwyn just clicks her tongue and starts switching bracelets around. In the end, Nesta has Emerie’s dagger bracelet, Gwyn has Nesta’s music note bracelet, and Emerie has Gwyn’s book charm.

Nesta wiggles her bracelet on and turns her wrist over in the light. “That was fun,” she decides. “What happens next at a sleepover?”

“Next,” Gwyn says, “we exchange our most embarrassing secrets with each other, and then we do each other’s hair.”

Emerie shakes her head. “Okay, now I’m really too old for this. Anyone want to watch a movie?”

Gwyn nudges Emerie. “I’m the old one here, and it’s my birthday.” She raises her pert chin in a way that doesn’t look very grown up at all. “What I say goes.”

Emerie flicks up an eyebrow and stares in challenge, which Nesta interrupts by saying, rather exasperatedly, “I’ll go first, then.”

She digs around in her head for something embarrassing enough to be socially acceptable, only to realize that although a lot of embarrassing things have happened to her before, none of them are secrets. She finally settles on an admission. “When I was a kid, I had a thing for breaking and entering into rich people’s empty houses and hanging out in them. Does that count as a secret?”

Gwyn gapes, laughing in disbelief. “Are you going to leave it at that?”

“That actually sounds fun.” Emerie swirls her wine. “Why’d you stop?”

Nesta had almost forgotten. “I got caught.” She remembers the terror of being fourteen and fleeing past cherry blossom trees on her bare feet. “The owner’s family showed up early to vacation one year, and I never risked going back after that.” She shrugs. “Who’s next?”

Gwyn raises her hand excitedly. “I used to be a hardcore Gleek. Like, I had a closet full of Glee memorabilia.”

Nesta doesn’t quite know what to say. Emerie winces. “Maybe you should’ve kept that one a secret.”

“It was only one facet of my entire theatre kid personality. Should I tell you about the rest?”

Emerie raises her hands in surrender. “Please don’t. I’ll go next if it makes you stop.”

Gwyn laughs and Nesta perks up. “What’s your secret?” She hopes Emerie will finally admit to filling their shared Kindle account with lesbian spanking fiction.

But Emerie suddenly gets serious, clearing her throat and fingering the stem of her wine glass. “I might have the worst secret,” she says awkwardly. “I haven’t been honest with you guys.”

Nesta straightens, and Gwyn looks intrigued.

“In my defense,” Emerie says, “I never expected all of us to end up hanging out this much. Before Nesta and I became friends, all I did was show up to school to kick rich kids’ asses and make career connections.”

“Spit it out, Emerie,” Nesta tells her.

So she does. “I’ve been lying about my age.” Her cheeks turn red, either from alcohol or embarrassment, Nesta doesn’t know.

Nesta furrows her brows. “You’re not twenty-four?”

Emerie shakes her head in guilt.

“How old are you, then?” Gwyn says.

Emerie mutters something too low for them to hear. When Gwyn tells her to repeat herself, she says, too loudly, “Twenty-eight.”

She’s met with silence, and then—

Gwyn starts cackling, nearly keeling over. Nesta can only stare in shock. “Why would you—?”

“Because school is a shark tank,” Emerie says. “Everyone else went there straight out of undergrad, and I had to work four jobs for four years just to afford tuition. Being old at Prythian means being poor.” She quietens, looking down at her brown hands twisted together. “And by the time we started to get close, it felt too weird to bring up. So… I’m sorry?” She looks up to see if Nesta is upset.

Nesta doesn’t know what to feel, but Gwyn seems to. “You called me old,” she accuses. “You’re nearly a grandma!”

“Were you going to lie about your age forever?” Nesta interjects.

“If I had known there was going to be a forever, I would have opened up a lot sooner,” Emerie defends.

Nesta drops her head onto the table and covers her ears with her arms. “This is so weird,” she says against the wood of the table, her voice muffled. “I can never look at you the same way ever again.”

“That’s fair,” Emerie says cautiously. “But are you really mad?” Nesta feels a hesitant hand touch her shoulder.

“I need time to process,” Nesta says from her cocoon. Suddenly she hears a hum and a click, and her cocoon gets even darker. Gwyn and Emerie make twin sounds of surprise.

Poking her head up, Nesta blinks to find total darkness in the apartment. The heater has stopped running, leaving behind a quiet stillness.

“Shit,” Gwyn curses, fumbling with her phone. The flashlight turns on, lighting up her face. “I swear I paid my electric bill.”

“I don’t think it’s just you,” Emerie says, getting up to look out the window. “Look, the whole street is out.”

By the time they gather some candles and light them, the apartment has dropped twenty degrees in temperature. Nesta shudders, wishing she’d brought some warm pants with her.

“Let me get us some blankets,” Gwyn says, running off to the linen closet. Emerie and Nesta huddle together on the couch while they wait.

“So you’re really not mad at me?” Emerie asks, hope in her voice.

“Not mad,” Nesta says. “But I think we all lost a little respect for you back there.”

Emerie smiles. “Just a little?”

Gwyn comes back then wearing a thick sweater and carrying a pile of comforters. “I got a text from the landlord,” she says, unceremoniously dropping the blankets onto the couch. “Ice took out the power lines in the whole neighborhood, and we’re not getting any electricity until morning.”

“But it’s negative temperatures outside,” Nesta protests. “We’ll freeze to death.”

“Not if we all cuddle.” Gwyn tries to beam at them, but the effort is futile. “I’m sorry, guys,” she sighs, plopping onto the couch beside Nesta. “This is a terrible birthday celebration.”

Nesta wraps an arm around Gwyn and tucks her into her side, soaking up her warmth as Emerie spreads a heavy comforter over all of their legs. “What are you apologizing for? You did nothing wrong.”

The girls sit in silence for a few minutes until Emerie speaks up. “I wonder what Mr. Madani is doing right now.”

“What?” Nesta frowns.

“He’s probably all alone in his fancy heated cabin, unaware that you’re stuck in the cold dark.” Emerie suddenly smacks Nesta’s arm. “Hey. Why are we freezing our asses off here when you practically own that cabin?”

“I do not practically own that cabin,” Nesta splutters. “And this is Gwyn’s birthday. Why would I take you to Cassian’s place on her birthday?”

“Exactly!” Emerie says. “It’s Gwyn’s birthday, and she deserves better than this. Can’t your boyfriend be a little charitable and share his nice house with us?”

Nesta turns to Gwyn for help, but Gwyn just says carefully, “...Is it a big cabin?”

Emerie nods fiercely, pulling out her phone. “Eris has a picture of it from New Year’s on his Instagram. You wouldn’t believe how much money these Night Court execs make.”

Nesta makes pointed eyes at Gwyn. “You really want to spend your birthday with two strange men?” Cassian and Azriel aren’t exactly meek, nonthreatening men either—at least not at first glance. Considering the state Gwyn was in just some weeks ago, this doesn’t sound like a good idea at all.

Gwyn sounds wary but open-minded when she says, “You trust them, right? And it’s not like we’re going to let the guys join our sleepover. We’re just going to have a warm place to stay while we wait for my power to come back.”

When it’s phrased like that… Nesta purses her lips, thinking.

“Fine,” she finally decides. “Let’s go.”

***

Nesta strips off her jeans almost as soon as she enters the cabin. Much to Cassian’s pride and pleasure, this leaves her wearing only one of his old sweatshirts. Meanwhile, Gwyn and Emerie stand around awkwardly in the middle of the living area without knowing what to do next.

“Make yourselves at home.” Cassian grins at them. “Do you need anything? Food? Drinks?”

“Stop worrying,” Nesta groans. “We don’t need to be mothered.”

“I totally hear you,” he nods. “I’ll make cookies.” And maybe some hot drinks. It’s supposed to be a birthday party, after all.

Just then, Azriel appears at the top of the stairs in a dark hoodie and sweats. He’s halfway down the steps when he notices the living room full of girls and promptly turns around.

Cassian calls his name before he can escape. “Want to help me out in the kitchen?”

“No, thanks,” Az says over his shoulder, leaving Cassian alone to play host.

While Gwyn and Emerie admire the cabin (“There’s a gym down the hallway and a library upstairs,” Nesta points out to them), Cassian gathers baking ingredients in the kitchen. He rarely eats desserts or junk food, much less makes them, but surely he can manage a snack for the girls.

When he returns to the living room half an hour later with cookies and mugs of hot chocolate, the coffee table has been moved out of the way and replaced with a spread of blankets and pillows. The fire crackles hotly enough that Gwyn and Emerie have joined Nesta in discarding any extra clothing articles, and they all cheer from the couch when they spy the food.

“Goddamn,” Emerie whistles at the platter of cookies on Nesta’s lap. “Nesta told us you were a catch, Mr. Madani, but she didn’t tell us she got the full housewife package.”

“Shut up.” Nesta shoves a cookie into Emerie’s mouth and passes Gwyn some hot chocolate. Any toughness vanishes when she looks back at Cassian. “Thank you,” she mouths, and he answers by smoothing out her ponytail.

Satisfied with his work and feeling guilty for crashing the girls’ fun, he’s about to call it a night when he feels a tug at his pants. Nesta is looking up at him with eyes that ask him to stay. Cassian glances nervously to Gwyn and Emerie, who are arguing about what movie to watch from his extensive streaming collection, and glances back to Nesta. Are you sure? he asks her silently.

She nods, but it isn’t until Gwyn says, “Just sit down, you’re blocking the TV,” that he indeed sits his ass down on the floor by Nesta’s feet.

A short tug of war between Gwyn and Emerie results in Emerie getting the remote. She blows a hair triumphantly out of her face. “No Planet Earth documentary for you, then,” she says.

Gwyn sits back, grumbling, “You’d think I’d get treated better on my damn birthday.” Nesta adds, “I like documentaries.”

“You’ll like The Proposal even more,” Emerie refutes, scrolling through the TV.

The smell of melting chocolate chips must invade the rest of the cabin, because not long after the movie begins, Cassian catches Azriel sneaking downstairs. As subtle as a shadow, no one even notices him until he plucks up a cookie from the side table by Nesta.

She slides her eyes over to him without turning her head. “You look like a punk with your hood up,” she snorts. “What are you, fifteen?”

From the floor, Cassian withholds a sigh.

Az shoots her a dark look, clearly not appreciating the attention brought to his presence. “Don’t be a little shit,” he warns in a low tone. He reaches for another cookie and Nesta bats his hand away. “Those aren’t for you,” she hisses.

“Can we please not—” Cassian tries.

Az glares and goes for the cookie again. Nesta smacks him back, which results in a slap fight that is only interrupted by Gwyn pleading, “Guys, we’re missing Sandra Bullock!”

Nesta pulls away, looking apologetic, and Az flushes pink. “Sorry,” he mutters. But he snatches up three cookies with a final look at Nesta and goes to sit in the armchair on the other side of the room.

Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie get cozy once more, quickly forgetting that Az is there. Emerie stretches her brown legs out across Gwyn’s lap like a cat. Nesta drapes her own leg over Cassian’s shoulder without warning. He turns around to meet her eyes, surprised, but she’s already intently focused on the movie. Smiling faintly to himself, he reaches up to brush her skin. It probably looks to everyone else like she owns him head to toe.

One thing Cassian quickly learns about the girls is that they simply can’t sit still. Even Nesta is more restless than usual, and she nearly kicks Cassian in the head more than once while readjusting herself on the couch. Emerie moves to sprawl on the rug. Gwyn sits upside down and watches with her head dangling off the seat.

As for Cassian, he loses all interest in the movie once Nesta joins him and Emerie on the floor, unable to contain her emotions from the couch. He glances between the movie and her face to find what’s making her so giddy, but it’s only the two main characters getting ready for a shower. He lifts a brow in amusement for no one to see, but settles back to watch her face in the glow of the dying fire. He’s waiting for her smile.

Because when Nesta really likes something, she’ll smile, and when she smiles… Everything scrunches up: her nose, her eyes, her cheeks.

On the TV, a naked Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock collide into each other, toppling to the floor. Nesta’s grin makes an appearance, and she slaps Cassian’s thigh in excitement, hard enough to hurt.

He hisses in a sharp breath, but doesn’t say anything or look away. He thinks he might have to kill anyone that refuses to protect the smile on her face right now, no matter who it is.

Once the scene changes, he walks two fingers up her leg to get her attention. “Nesta,” he whispers, unable to help himself.

She glances at him for half a second before looking back to the movie. “What?”

He opens his arms and gestures her closer. Come and let me hold you.

Nesta makes a face. “Don’t embarrass me in front of the girls.”

Cassian’s lips turn down. “You don’t mean that.”

She does. To prove her point, she crawls closer to Emerie and settles down next to her. Gwyn joins them on the floor, and they all huddle together.

When he catches Az staring at him with a hint of revulsion, Cassian coughs off the yearning and rejection and glares right back.

After the movie finishes, Emerie victoriously crushes an empty can of beer in her fist. Cassian has no idea where it came from. “More Sandra!” she demands.

It takes three more movies before Emerie is knocked out cold on the arrangement of blankets and pillows on the floor, Gwyn with her. Nesta eventually came back to Cassian and fell asleep with her arms wrapped around his waist, and Azriel passed out sometime after Miss Congeniality, curled up in the armchair with his fist propping up his head.

Now, Cassian carefully untangles Nesta from himself, nudging her towards Emerie instead. In her sleep, Nesta turns over to clutch the other woman’s arm and mumbles something unintelligible.

Cassian props a pillow gently beneath her head and picks up another one, throwing it harder than he needs to at Azriel’s face. “Get up,” he hisses.

Az jerks out of his sleep, looking around the dim room in confusion. Cursing lowly, he pushes himself out of his seat and scrubs a hand through his hair. “What time is it?”

“Three.” Cassian pulls a comforter over Nesta and Emerie’s shoulders.

Az crouches and picks up the other side of the comforter, adjusting it over Gwyn’s body. Cassian thinks he might see a frown cross his face for half a second, but then Az is standing up and brushing off his clothes.

After turning off the TV, the guys head for their rooms. “I didn’t think three grown women could be so... much,” Az says as they climb up the stairs.

Cassian huffs a laugh. “We were like that when we were younger, too.”

“Yeah, but we were teenagers.”

They reach the hallway. “I don’t know about the others,” Cassian says thoughtfully, “but Nesta never got to be a normal kid.” She barely got to be a normal adult. And in a couple of short years, she’ll be working her ass off at some prestigious firm and won’t have time for simple things like sleepovers anymore.

Cassian selfishly hopes he can give Nesta all the normalcy he can before that happens.

***

a/n: i’m gonna do my best in future chapters to give cassian depth beyond just his relationship with nesta 🥴 but first, be on the lookout for a gwynriel bonus scene :)

tags: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara9 @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad

[wonunuu]

iris beauty ❀

40: getting closer

✎ synopsis: falling for a guy is never easy, especially when your best friend of many years basically claimed him; you and mina have been friends for as long as you can remember, but your loyalty and trust are tested when she asks you to pretend to be her in meeting a guy she had been talking to online and you unintentionally start to develop feelings for him.

✎ genre: romance, angst, comedy

✎ pairing: reader x yoon jeonghan

✎ word count: 1.6k+

✎ warnings: suggestive

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add your @ here!

a/n: i gotta question.. do you think pet names between couples is cute? cos like me, no lol i mean like the only one i'd accept is "my love" but idk i just don't know (this has nothing to do with the au lmaoo just a thought in pj's little brain)

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2:41

After your overtime shift at the café, you head back to your apartment to grab your textbooks. Finals were approaching, and there is no doubt that you were stressed. You need to, not only pass in your exams, but also excel in all of them to get at least a 3.8 GPA, and this is the only acceptable grade for you if you wanted to get accepted into a medical school.

So, studying has been your number one priority for the past couple of days. You and Vernon, your study buddy, have been in and out of the campus library to do nothing else but study. And that’s where you’re heading again. 

“I’m almost there,” you manage to say, panting, while jogging towards the library where an impatient Vernon was waiting. For what felt like three weeks of jogging, the familiar building finally came in sight. There were countless students, some whose faces you’ve seen before, were making their way in--probably has the same reason as you. With this many students going there to study, you knew there would be competition in getting the tables and booths first, and you mentally scold yourself for arriving late. 

“Can you be any slower?” Vernon rolls his eyes teasingly, earning him a light punch on the shoulder from you. The two of you head in and look for available spots. You checked the first floor, but they were all packed. As well as the second, third and fourth floor. Your legs felt like they were about to fall off, tired and numb from climbing an endless amount of stairs. Not to mention, you were also carrying textbooks that’s equivalent to the weight of three elephants stacked together in your bag, and you say that with no exaggeration.

“There’s one,” he points to an empty desk just by the window. As you are walking, from the side of your eye, you see another group of students pointing at it and making their way. You increase your speed, dragging Vernon behind you, so that you could get there first before they could. Fortunately, just before they got there, you slapped your hand on the table. 

“Scram, freshmans,” you growled and Vernon crosses his arms, smirks. The group of friends roll their eyes before they walk away, and you smile in victory. Some would say your actions were a little immature, especially that comment you made, but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Afterwards, you and Vernon take your seats, and start your hours of studying. 

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

9:28

Opening the door to the apartment, you were surprised to see Jeonghan sitting on your couch, watching the television. You walk behind him and snake your hands around his shoulders, wrapping him in a warm hug, and nuzzle your head between his neck. 

“Another long day at the library?” He caresses your hands and you nod in response. “Have you eaten?” he asks. You remove your hands and walk around the couch. You lay down and place your head on his lap. “I can make you something if you want,” he offers. 

“Will you?” you look at him, smiling. You’ve never really imagined Jeonghan cooking before. You don’t even know if he knows how to. But you weren’t going to turn down his generous offer to cook for you, whatever the result may be.

Jeonghan stands up and heads to the kitchen, and you watch him from the couch. He opens the cupboards, takes out the pan and places it on the stove. He then opens the fridge, looking for anything he can cook. To your surprise, he takes out a bag with a logo of your favourite restaurant. 

You cock your head to the side as your eyebrows meet. “I thought you were going to cook for me. That’s take out.” You stated, pointing at the bag he was holding. “I am going to cook. I’m gonna heat it up. That counts,” Jeonghan looks at you and gives you a smile that displays his teeth. Disbelief is all you feel. You scoff at his reply, and feeling too tired to argue, you lay back down. 

Jeonghan has been nothing but supportive these past couple of days. When you and Vernon were at the library, he would drop by to give you two snacks and drinks. Sometimes, like today, he would use the spare keys you gave him to enter your apartment to clean up so you wouldn’t do it when you get home. Embarrassed, you told him to stop cleaning your mess, but he said it wasn’t a big deal and that he didn’t want you to come home to such an unkempt apartment--the unorganized sight causes more stress, he adds.

You were grateful for everything Jeonghan has done, yes. But you can’t help but think of one specific person who used to do the same. Who used to tell you to eat before you go to bed, who reminded you to drink water, who reassured you that you would pass your exams, and who comforted you when things didn’t turn out the way you hoped for. Joshua has never left your mind since he went away. Often, you wondered what he might be doing and where he might be. You’ve had multiple urges to send him a text or ring his phone to check up on him, but you thought he might want some space. You knew he would come back when he’s ready, and you were willing to move on from the past and start anew with him. Gosh, you miss him.

“Mind telling me what’s in that pretty head of yours?” Jeonghan disrupts your thoughts as he walks towards you, holding a plate. He sits down and offers his free hand to help you up. You grab his hand and use your abdominal muscle to sit up. 

He hands you the plate and you take it from him, and immediately, the aroma makes your mouth salivate. “Mhmm,” you murmured, “this looks delicious. Thank you, Han.” 

Your boyfriend nods and urges you to take a bite. So you did. 

“What about you,” you ask after swallowing your first bite. 

“I’m okay, babe. Just eat, hmm?” Jeonghan smiles while reaching his hand to your face to tuck your hair behind your ear. You felt bad that you were the only one eating, so you feed him. At first he refused, but quickly cave in when you pouted. 

The two of you sat on your couch, taking turns to feed each other. Sometimes, he would follow up a bite with a soft peck or two--he called it a quick served dessert. You rolled your eyes at his corny remark, but you couldn’t hide the rosy tint on your cheeks as the blood rushes through them.

Jeonghan absolutely loved spending these little moments with you. No words can ever explain the feelings he gets when he hears your laughter--your smile alone is enough to make his heart melt as if it was ice cream under a fifty degree celsius summer day. He would not exchange this moment for anything else. There is nothing he wants more than to spend time with the person he loves most. 

After your meal, you head to the kitchen and quickly wash the dishes before going back to sit with Jeonghan. You plop yourself beside him and he takes his arm and wraps it around your shoulder. You do the same as you snake both your arms around his waist and rest your head on his chest, where the sound of his heartbeat is clear and audible. You don’t know if you just really love to hear his heart beat because you love him, or if it’s because of your longing profession of becoming a doctor. You think it’s a combination of both. 

“What should we watch?” Jeonghan asks as he flips through shows and movies available on netflix. You shrugged your shoulders and told him you were okay with any. Soon, the two of you settled with Grey’s Anatomy--a show you absolutely loved. Jeonghan was never a fan of medical shows or whatsoever, but if his girl was going to be a doctor, he’ll have to get familiar with some terminologies, right? 

Three episodes have passed and the two of you were still in the same position as before, cuddled on the couch. You were still watching intently, but you were not so sure about Jeonghan though. Not seeing his face, you guess that he probably fell asleep when you guys were just halfway through the first episode. You didn’t mind though. He deserved to rest. 

However, your guess was proven wrong when you suddenly feel his kiss at the top of your head, causing you to giggle. He did it again, and again, and again, each lasting longer than the previous one, and moving lower and lower. Kissing as a form of affection has become a normal thing between the two of you now. But this time, Jeonghan’s kisses feel more than just affection.

Images in your head started popping in, making your heart rate increase and your breathing pattern to change. 

“Yn,” Jeonghan softly whispers to your ears, making your insides churn, “are you okay?”

Fuck it. 

You unwrap your arms from his body and take your hands straight to cup his face, taking him by surprise. You close your eyes and lean in to kiss his lips. He freezes for  ma second but quickly melts right into the kiss. He uses his hands to take hold of your waist and pulls you in front of him. You oblige and place your knees on either side of his lap.

You detach yourself to catch your breath, but your eyes remained closed as you relinquished the taste of his lips. He did the same, but eager to taste your lips once again, he leans in and kisses you, quite roughly this time. He takes his right hand and places it at the back of your neck, guiding you as the two of you made out on your couch. 

“You still have extra clothes here, right?” You ask between your kisses. Jeonghan doesn't respond, and instead kisses you harder. Soon, he trails kisses from your lips to the side if your neck. Whispers escape you lips as you cock your head to the side to give him more room.

This night is going to be long. 

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tags:

@yyxyzti @acciofirewhiskey @doiewonu @shuajeong @wooziverse @boogyuu @rjsmochii @haniehae @twentysixofmays @suhfluffy @dancingddays @lovingyu04 @sydneyy-jade @itsdnguyenxoxo @fluffyhyeju @haoraecane @dy-mglzz @1800zuho @t-secretpot @floweryjeons @yaebbinnie @t-secretpot @not-sojoyuus @xcalicoups @ryuyalana @bubblywonu @youbloominsideofme @lavenonie @wonwoonlight @yoonzinow @mariecoura @juji-han @strawbinnie-shortcake @isa499 @pseudoyop @serenadesvt @glouraeswei @glowingjaehyun @sunflowergyeomie @kunmaid @apricottulips @hao-ling @cheolright @pancakeandfrogs @yanniezx @jeonjungkaka @sunflower-euphro @monstathedisco

unable to tag: @tyongs @jeongjungkaka @jammyjamjamss @hauntedprincessarbiter @scoffingscully

[kagstea]

tsukishima k. - parenthood pt. 2

tsukishima k. x reader

description: part two to parenthood. with your week with hoshi coming to an end, another realization regarding you and tsukishima hits.

warnings: fluff

“Would you shut that baby up!”

“Seriously! He’s ruining my vibe!”

Daichi was quick to slap the back of Nishinoya and Tanaka’s head, giving you an apologetic smile. “Don’t mind them, Y/N. They just got rejected by the girls over there.”

You stifled a laugh at his comment, turning away to rock Hoshi. He had just eaten, burped, and had a changed diaper. In your head, you cursed the plastic doll, almost grateful that your time with it was almost up.

“Is he still crying?” 

Tsukishima snuck up behind you, a strawberry cone in his hand.

The volleyball club had taken a day off from practice, and due to the good weather, opted for going to the beach. Of course, Tsukishima asked if you could come along, claiming he would feel bad for leaving you alone with Hoshi. Then him and Hinata offered to get you ice cream, which is when your child started screaming for his life.

You groaned. “I’m going to fling him in the water.”

“Ruin my grade, I ruin you.” He held out his cone, beckoning for a trade.

It was insane, you thought, because as soon as he held Hoshi he stopped crying. Your jaw fell and Tsukishima tried to hide the smirk creeping up on his face. Instead of claiming how unfair it was, you took a deep breath, and redirected your attention to another matter.

“Where’s my ice cream?”

He sighed, laying Hoshi down on the beach towel he bought, carefully adjusting the umbrella to block the sun despite the baby being fake. “The tangerine’s bringing i-”

“Y/N, I have your ice cream!” Cue a happy Hinata running with two vanilla cones in his hands, kicking back sand at others laying on the beach. He stopped with a pant, handing you one before running off excitedly. Except, as he ran, he made you stumble.

Now, Tsukishima caught you, a hand on your waist to steady you. But, you had lost your grip on one of the ice creams, and you’d be damned if you dropped yours.

“Dumbass!” Tsukishima scoffed as his strawberry cone landed in front of his feet.

You gave a sheepish smile, a tight hold on your own in case he wanted revenge. “I’ll… buy you a new one.”

He stared at you, before shaking his head. If possible, his grip tightened on your body and he pulled your back against his bare chest. He quickly leaned over, opening his mouth and eating the top of your ice cream. Tsukishima licked his lips once he stood straight and let go of you. “Don’t bother, we’re even now.”

Then he walked away to where Yamaguchi was building a sandcastle for Hoshi, leaving you flustered and in shock. You stared at your ice cream, glancing at Tsukishima and feeling your cheeks heat up.

“Are you good?” Tanaka asked as he passed by. “Your cheeks are red, but the sun isn’t that hot, is it-”

You slapped a hand on your right cheek, shaking your head violently. “N-No, I’m fine! Just- go! I’m alright,” He raised an eyebrow at your nervous chuckle, but shrugged and left.

Of course, Hoshi had to start crying again.

~

The sun had set faster than you thought. Although you were at the beach for almost half the day, it didn’t feel that long with all the playing around. Of course, there were those times where you and Tsukishima had to break apart from the group to check on Hoshi, but overall it was a fun evening.

“Goodbye!” You waved to the team, holding Hoshi in your arms. They all separated to go their respective way home after arriving back at the school.

“Come on,” Tsukishima said, grabbing your bag from you. He had offered to walk you home to see that you and Hoshi were safe. You let him, considering he didn’t live that far where you worried too much.

The two of you settled into a slow pace next to each other, him listening to you hum and look at Hoshi. The sight stirs up his stomach, and he isn’t sure why.

“Hey,” He catches your attention. “Don’t walk looking down.”

You pout, turning back to the doll. “I can’t help it. He’s so cute.”

“Yeah, until you get up to get water in the middle of the night and there’s a plastic doll in your bed.” Tsukishima mutters, and you snap your head to look up at him.

“How many times have you gotten scared because of him.” He winced at the amusement in your voice. “What? None, Y/N. He’s a plastic baby.”

But your growing smile doesn’t stop. “Kei, don't say that! He can hear you, you know-” As you turn back to him to playfully cover your ears, Tsukishima grabs your hand, pulling you towards him roughly. You stumble into his chest, eyes wide.

“What an asshole. I told you to look up, Y/N.” He says seriously, talking to both you and the incompetent driver who sped past you guys. “Are you alright?” His voice softened, glancing over you for any injuries.

“I-I’m fine. I’m sorry, Kei.” You told him, guilty for scaring him. “Thank you.”

He let you step back from him, but when you tried to walk forward, his hand held you back. Seeing your look, he only sighed and intertwined your fingers. “Let’s go, it’s getting late.”

“O-oh. Right.”

He didn’t let go of your hand the entire time, not even when he walked you to your front porch. Both of you were silent for a few seconds, before he locked his gaze on Hoshi. “We give him back tomorrow.”

It brought a frown to your face. “I know.”

Tsukishima looked at you through his glasses. “Don’t tell me you got attached to him in a week.”

You felt like he was mocking you, and that made you feel even worse. “It’s been a long week.” You blinked a few times, and he wondered if you were gonna cry. 

He stepped closer to you and bent down to your eye level. His face was only a few inches away as he scanned your eyes for any sadness. “You’re not crying, are you?” He spoke gently, catching you off guard. “Because if you are gonna cry, I’d rather you do it now instead of during class tomorrow.” Although there was a hint of cockiness in his words, you could tell they were out of concern.

Without pushing him away, you sniffled and shook your head. “I’m not going to cry. You’re the crybaby here.” 

The corner of his lips twitched upwards, and he finally stood up straight. “Just making sure. You really want to keep him tonight? I could if you don’t-”

Your grip tightened on Hoshi. “It’s my night.”

Tsukishima nodded. “Alright. Then, see you two tomorrow. Go inside.” He jerked his head toward your door, and you stepped backwards, almost ready to turn around and let go of his hand. 

“Let me know once you get home. And don’t forget like last time! I was up for hours worrying.” You muttered the last part, hoping he wouldn’t hear it.

He thought about teasing you, but decided against it. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You blamed your exhaustion, or the warmth he gave off, for not wanting to let go of his hand. It was painful to pry your fingers off of his, and he secretly felt the same.

~

“Y/N, you have to let him go.” Tsukishima said from behind you.

But you held Hoshi close to your chest, shaking your head. You’ve had a death grip on the doll since he saw you this morning. Not even he could take him away from you. He managed to convince the teacher to collect everyone else’s babies first so you would have more time. But the class was over seven minutes ago, and you still refused to hand him over.

“Y/N, it’s a damn dol-”

“Don’t use the ‘D’ word!” You yelled.

Tsukishima sighed, sharing a look with your teacher who was too patient with you. He didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or sorry. It was almost too concerning how attached you were to a plastic doll.

His hands reached up to rest on your shoulders, making you stiffen at his touch for a few seconds. He leaned forward to whisper in your ear. “Give Hoshi back now. You have to.” 

Hearing him talk to you quietly and calmly broke through you. You frowned, and looked at Hoshi’s face one last time before slowly loosening your grip. The teacher and Tsukishima almost cried in relief seeing you hand her the doll. She practically snatched it away once it was in her reach and he gently pulled up backwards before you changed your mind. He bid goodbye to your teacher, dragging you out of the classroom into the halls.

“Almost ten minutes of lunch is gone. I should make you buy me milk or something for taking so long. I mean, honestly, he was just a piece of plastic, why would you hold on to him so long? Y/N?” Tsukishima stopped walking up the stairs, looking behind to see you standing still on the landing facing down. 

Since you didn’t answer him, he walked back down to you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

But you just shook your head. Before he could open his mouth to speak again, he saw a tear drip down your cheek, which you quickly wiped away out of fear he would see it. You know he did, though, so when another one fell, you didn’t bother to try to hide it. 

This time, he wiped it away. The action caught you off guard, and you tilted your head up, shocked.

“What’s making you so upset today?” Tsukishima whispered. “Y/N, why didn’t you want to give Hoshi back?”

The question made your lip quiver. “I don’t know.”

“Y/N. Just tell me.” You looked away to avoid his stare. But he just cocked his head to the side, waiting for you to answer him. Even back in the classroom, he could tell there was more than giving back a project that was making you upset. His suspicion was confirmed at this moment. Now, it was only a matter of getting you to open up to him.

“I didn’t get attached to Hoshi.” You spoke, barely loud enough for him to hear you.

His eyebrows raised. “Huh?”

Taking a deep breath, you met his eyes. “I got attached to you. And giving back Hoshi means we’re not partners anymore. Which means that we don’t have a reason to be around each other, and we’ll go back to how things were before Hoshi.”

He was taken back by your words. This is what was troubling you?

You balled your fists at your side. “That’s why I didn’t want to give him back, but you made me, you jerk.”

It was your insult that made him chuckle. At first, you got angry and thought he was making fun of you. But he wasn’t. “Y/N, your brain is definitely broken.”

“I’m going to kick you-”

But his hand shot out to grab yours, making your words get stuck in your throat. Once again, he bent down to talk to you. “Are you really that dense? I’m pretty sure I was pretty direct this past week.”

You knew instantly what he was talking about. But, even though you were flustered you wanted to hear him say it. “Direct about what?”

“Stop trying to make me say it.”

You felt offended. “Well, then make it more clear! Asshole.” You looked sideways, feeling naked under his gaze.

Rolling his eyes and grinning, he backed up. “Will you come to my game this Saturday? It seems I somehow got used to you being there when I play, and Coach says it's bad to cut off any habits that help us.”

His statement made you smile, and you nodded. “We can’t let that happen now, can we, Kei?”

[fridayfirefly]

Retirement

Read Retirement on AO3

Masterlist

For Maribat March Day 21 - Domestic Bliss

The first time Marinette and Garfield ever discussed retirement was before they even started dating. For superheroes, retirement was just a fact of life. One day, if you make it long enough, you'll put down the suit and you'll never pick it up again. Maybe someone will take your place. Hopefully, no one will need to. But no matter how strong you are, not even if you're Superman in his prime, the simple fact was that someday you would retire.

"What do you think you'll do after you retire?" Marinette mused to Garfield. Out of all the Titans, Marinette spent the most time around Gar, simply because the two of them spent a lot of time in the living room. Marinette liked the ambient noise that his video games provided when she worked on her projects, and Gar liked to have someone to talk to while he played. Most of Marinette's current focus was on the embroidery in her hands, as she stitched vines running down the sleeves of her shirt, but she still took the time to start a conversation with Gar.

"I dunno..." Gar glanced up from the game he was playing. "What'll you do once you give up being Ladybug."

"That's a tough question. I used to think that I wanted to run a big fashion company, like Agreste Fashion, but now I think I want something a little more low-key. In my ideal future, I own a little boutique where I make custom clothing. There would be a fabric store and a café on the same block as me, and I would never have to leave the neighborhood."

"That sounds nice. I think I might try going to college and see where that takes me. I applied to Jump City University right before Christmas, and they accepted me. If I went, I would start classes in the fall.”

Marinette’s head jerked up as she gave Gar her full, undivided attention. “I’m going to JCU next fall!” she exclaimed excitedly. “We might have classes together. What are you planning on majoring in?”

Gar shrugged, “JCU has a veterinary program that I'm interested in. I'd be taking animal behavior, biology, chemistry, and a whole bunch of other science classes.”

“That’s so cool!”

“It’s nothing much. I didn’t expect them to accept me, anyway.”

Gar seemed oddly subdued about the idea of going to college. He was a naturally enthusiastic person, which made it very out of character for him to be so dismissive. It worried Marinette. “No, you deserve praise for your accomplishment. Jump City University is a very selective school.”

“I’m not a genius. I’m just me.”

“You’re smart, Gar, I know you are. Getting accepted to JCU is just one of the many reasons why you are brilliant.”

“Are you gonna name them all for me?” joked Gar.

His question was rhetorical, just a joke, but Marinette wasn't finished convincing Gar that he deserved all the praise in the world. “For starters, you can finish any video game in less than a day. Even the ones where you need logic and strategy, you fly right through them. Secondly, you’re a genius when it comes to animals. And it’s not just because of your superpower. You taught yourself animal behavior so that you could blend in with the animals you’re imitating. Thirdly, you pretend not to be invested in politics, but I’ve seen how you keep yourself informed about environmental policies and activism. You really care about the planet. Fourthly-“

"Alright, Buginette,” laughed Gar, a slight blush on his cheeks. “You’ve proven your point.”

Marinette set her embroidery down on the coffee table and moved to Gar's couch. "Is this game multiplayer?"

"Yep. Do you want to play a few rounds?"

"Hmm... I think I could spare a few minutes to kick your butt."

"Please. I'm going to squash you like the little bug you are."

"You wish!"

----------

The next time Marinette and Gar discussed retirement was well after they started dating. They got together in their Junior year at JCU after spending two years in relationship limbo, with both too nervous to make the first move. They finally confessed their feelings for each other after Dick and Starfire locked them in a closet together until they admitted that they liked each other. They graduated college as a couple, with Gar planning on attending veterinary school and Marinette planning on starting up her fashion business. That summer they spent a lot of time talking about the future.

"I've been thinking of recruiting someone to take over as Ladybug," remarked Marinette as she cuddled up next to Gar on the couch.

"Really? Who do you have your eye on?" asked Gar.

"Wonder Woman recently took on a new protege, Cassie Sandsmark. The Ladybug Miraculous already has some connections to Wonder Woman and her home of Themyscira. Her mother, Queen Hippolyta, was a wielder of the Ladybug Miraculous for quite some time."

"If you gave up the Miraculous would you still fight crime?"

Marinette shook her head. "I think it might be time to give up crimefighting. It's been ten years since I took up the Ladybug Miraculous to fight Hawkmoth, and six years since Hawkmoth was defeated. I wasn't ready to give up that responsibility then, but I think I'm ready now."

"When would you give up the Miraculous?"

"Soon. I talked to Wonder Woman about it last week and she's enthusiastic about the idea. I would need to spend some time getting to know Cassie, just to make sure she's a good fit, and Tikki would need to vet her as well, but I have a good feeling that she'll pass any tests of character we put her through." Marinette turned to face Gar. "I didn't want to make any concrete decisions before I talked to you. I know that we've always fought crime together, but I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm ready to retire."

Gar nodded. "I understand and I fully support your decision. I've been considering leaving the Titans as well. I know I could continue living in the Tower and attend veterinary school at JCU, but last week I got an acceptance letter from UC Davis for their School of Veterinary Medicine."

Marinette's eyes widened. "Gar, that's amazing! I remember looking into UC Davis when you were applying, and their program is nationally ranked."

Gar grinned. "The best in the country. It's too good to pass up."

"You have to go!" exclaimed Marinette. "This is your dream!"

"I think I'll send in my acceptance tomorrow," decided Gar. "Maybe we can go to Davis this weekend and scout out an apartment."

"And fabric stores," chimed in Marinette.

Gar laughed. "Anything for you, Buginette."

----------

The final time Marinette and Gar discussed retirement was years later. Marinette and Gar had gotten married and had moved back to Jump City. Marinette opened her fashion boutique, which had very quickly exploded in popularity. Gar started working for a non-profit veterinary clinic, which provided free veterinary services to lower-income neighborhoods. They had both achieved their dreams, and yet neither seemed content with their lives.

"Maybe we just need a change of scenery," suggested Marinette, leaning her head against Gar as they both sat on the beach watching the sunset. "I'm so tired of the city."

"Maybe," said Gar. "It would be nice to have a house with a backyard, rather than just an apartment."

Marinette sighed. "I know that I always said that I wanted to be the owner of a successful boutique, but this wasn't really what I had in mind. I'm so busy that I feel like I never get to spend any time with you anymore. Every day my inbox is filled with emails asking me to sell my company or expand to more locations. I'm tired of it. My passion is for making clothes, not running a business."

"I know how you feel. Every day I encounter another neglectful pet owner who brings their animal to the clinic for help but refuses to listen to me when I tell them that they need to change the way they treat their animal. It's exhausting."

"We could both just quit our jobs and move into the woods," joked Marinette.

Gar nodded, but he wasn't joking. "I've actually been thinking about that. There are a lot of remote regions with a real need for veterinary practices to provide medical assistance for the farm animals out there. I would feel a lot more useful taking care of animals that don't have anyone else."

Marinette turned to face Gar. "I wouldn't mind moving. I've been sending all of the offers to buy my boutique straight to my email archive, but I'm sure if I looked through them all I could find someone who would be able to take care of the business aspect of Ladybug Designs. I could retire from the business and design on my own time, when the inspiration strikes, instead of forcing myself to churn out design after design."

"You really wouldn't mind?" asked Gar, a hopeful look on his face.

Marinette shook her head. "I was serious about moving out of the city. There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but I've been waiting for the right moment. I think that moment is now. Gar, I'm pregnant."

The deer-in-the-headlights look on Gar's face was comical, to say the least. Marinette giggled, "Well?"

Gar snapped back to reality, transforming into an elephant, trumpeting his joy. He turned back into himself and wrapped his arms around Marinette. "I'm so happy! This is the best news I could have ever heard, Buginette. Now we have to move. I want our kid to have a backyard and a dog and a big driveway where I can teach them how to ride a bike and a pond where they can swim in the summer-"

Marinette cut Gar off with a kiss. "One thing at a time," she giggled.

"I think this will be the best decision we have ever made," declared Gar.

Marinette agreed. "I think that partial retirement will be good for us."

----------

This was bliss. The feeling of grass under Marinette’s bare feet as she walked back to the house from the lake, hand in hand with Gar. The sound of their daughter's laughter as she danced around them, catching fireflies. The taste of homemade apple pie and vanilla ice cream, eaten rebelliously early as Gar proclaimed, "Dessert before dinner!" The sight of the stars up above them, no light pollution to mask the beauty of the heavens. The sound of Gar's voice, whispering, "I love you, Buginette," into Marinette's ear. And as Marinette settled into her husband's arms, she knew for certain that retirement was the best decision she had ever made.

@maribatmarch-2k21

[yukidragon]

Our Life Snippet - Pretzels and Pop

Been a while since I flashed a clip of my Our Life: Beginnings & Always novelization’s first draft, huh? This time let’s take a peek at part of the Step 1 moment Shopping.

As always, credit for the original wonderful visual novel that fuels so much inspiration in me goes to the game’s creators, @gb-patch.

...

The scent of baked and fried goods, both savory and sweet, wafted through the air, drawing the children’s attention away from the keychain. Cove turned further down the street where he quickly spotted numerous different food carts lined in a row. Most importantly, he saw an array of delicious goodies people were happily eating.

Cove frowned, placing his uninjured arm over his now grumbling tummy as the delicious smells almost seemed to tease him. A quiet rumbling from his side drew his eye to Jamie and he saw she was holding her stomach now as well. “Let’s go get some food.”

“Yeah,” Jamie said with an eager nod. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and she was more than ready for lunch after so much walking around.

The children hurried their footsteps to reach the food vendors quickly, then slowed to consider their options. An array of foods both salty and sweet lay before them, their enticing smells serving to make their stomachs growl louder than before. Everything looked delicious, but they couldn’t sample it all.

After a short discussion considering the merits between foods such as pizza and hot dogs versus snow cones and ice cream, the pair came to a decision and got in line for the pretzel vendor. Cove eagerly ordered a pretzel covered with cinnamon that came paired with a little cup of icing that was far too tempting for him to resist. Jamie almost gave in to that same temptation, but ultimately she chose the pretzel already coated in vanilla icing and adorned with a rainbow’s worth of sprinkles.

Jamie licked her lips as she accepted her colorful treat from the vendor, barely resisting the urge to take a bite before they found someplace to sit. Her moms didn’t want her to eat too much sugar, but it should be fine, she thought; this was a special day and a special outing with Cove after all.

Besides, if Jamie drank milk with it, which was good for her, it would balance out the sugar, right? That’s why she got a carton of milk instead of soda pop like Cove did. She made sure to be the one to carry their drinks for the both of them after tucking her precious keychain away in her pocket, as Cove’s hands were getting pretty full.

The children hurried along to find an empty table for them to sit and eat their tasty treats. Fortune smiled on them as they found one close to the beach, which gave them an unobstructed view of the ocean.

Unfortunately for Jamie, this also meant that it was close enough for sand to cover the ground, and she winced as the chairs made terrible scraping sounds when moved. If her hands weren’t full, she would have covered her sensitive ears, so all she could do was grit her teeth and bear with the pain until they sat down, letting out a sigh of relief when the awful noise stopped.

Cove had been too distracted by setting things down on the table and getting into his seat without letting go of the balloon to notice Jamie’s discomfort for more than a moment before she relaxed. He didn’t know what to make of it, and she brightened up right away, so he supposed it wasn’t anything important.

Besides, there was a bigger issue they had to deal with right now. “These balloons are gonna make it hard to eat,” he said as he looked between the balloon and his pretzel as he tried to puzzle out the problem. He had a difficult enough time carrying everything while trying to keep a hold on the balloon’s string, especially while wearing something as unwieldy as a cast. It was going to be harder when his fingers got sticky with cinnamon, sugar, and icing.

Jamie looked at their balloons and opened her mouth, ready to agree, when an idea suddenly hit her. “Oh!” she gasped. “I know.”

Without bothering to stop to explain, Jamie went into action. She placed the drinks on the table alongside her pretzel, careful to keep her tasty treat on its waxy paper wrapper so that it wouldn’t get sandy. With her hands now mostly free, she hopped out of her chair without moving it so she could round the table to join Cove at his side. Gently, she tugged at the string of his balloon, taking it from his hand. Before he could ask her any questions, she tied it in a delicate bow around the wrist of his uncasted arm.

“Oh,” Cove said, blinking at the balloon now tied to his wrist. He moved his arm up and down a little, testing the stability of the knot. After seeing his balloon bounce and jerk but remain attached to him, he gave Jamie a satisfied smile.

Jamie returned the smile with one of her own as she offered her balloon to Cove. “There, now can you do mine too?”

Cove was only too happy to repay the favor. Unfortunately, the cast got in his way again with the way it restricted his fingers on his left hand, making it difficult for him to move them the way he wanted. The string tied to his right wrist also proved an additional challenge, as he had to be careful not to accidentally tangle both strings together.

Jamie watched Cove work patiently, his fingers feeling ticklish as they kept touching her wrist. The sensation was strange. It made her feel… happy? She liked it, but it was different in a way that left her face feeling warm and unable to look her friend in the eyes.

Finally, Cove managed to overcome the challenge, letting out a satisfied hum as he finished the knot. “Got it,” he said happily.

The two children took a moment to admire their handiwork. It also helped Jamie calm down from the weird feelings. With everything now settled, she returned to her side of the table after placing Cove’s soda closer to him. She was careful not to move the chair again as she squirmed back into it.

Now, both friends were able to finally enjoy their sweet treats and drinks as they admired their ocean view. The sounds of the sea mingling with the crowd served as a pleasant backdrop of ambient noise that left conversation unnecessary as they focused all their attention on enjoying their meal.

Jamie was the first to finish her pretzel with a little bit of regret that there wasn’t more of it. She licked what remained of the icing off her fingers, trying to get every last bit of the sugary goodness until she was sure there was nothing left. As she wiped her sticky hands on a napkin, she looked over at Cove and saw that he was close to being finished, but not quite.

Jamie didn’t want to rudely interrupt Cove’s meal by talking, but without anything to do, she quickly found herself growing bored. She drained the last of her milk as she looked around for something to occupy her time when she spied her balloon bobbing back and forth from the movements of her arm.

Inspiration struck, and Jamie pulled the string down until she could bring the balloon down into her hands. She held it more delicately than any of her stuffed animals as she moved it in what she felt confident was a good imitation of a real dolphin. She twisted in her seat to face towards the beach and held the balloon a little out in front of her as she continued her play, smiling proudly at how it looked as though it was swimming through the waves like that pod of dolphins she saw.

Cove curiously watched Jamie mess around with her balloon as he continued to eat. From his angle, he was able to see what she was going for. A delighted laugh escaped him as he could imagine exactly what she was, and he wanted to join in.

Jamie glanced over at Cove and watched him place what little was left of his pretzel down onto its wrapper so that he could take a hold of his dolphin balloon like she did. She beamed, eager to start a game of pretend with her friend. “Mine’s name is Merriweather,” she said proudly. “He’s the prince of the dolphins. He wears a crown of seaweed and all his friends are merfolk!”

Jamie turned ‘Merriweather’ towards Cove and bobbed it in the most regal manner she could manage, which elicited a giggle from her friend. “Every now and then, he’ll make friends with a kid and let them ride on his back,” she said before letting out a wistful sigh. She wished she could meet a magical dolphin prince like Merriweather for real.

“What’s yours?” Jamie asked eagerly once she shook off the fanciful thought.

Cove took a moment to consider the question seriously. He placed the balloon on the table, laying his cast covered arm across it as his gaze grew distant with contemplation. It took him some thinking to come up with an idea. “It’s-”

A loud and terrible pop destroyed the fantasy Cove had conjured up as the poor dolphin balloon exploded into green ribbons.

The children reeled back from the explosion, both yelping in surprise. For a moment after, the two could only stare at the tattered remains of what had been Cove’s balloon, which now looked more like a pile of seaweed that washed ashore.

Jamie was the first to break the silence. “Oh no…”

When the shock melted away, what had just happened hit Cove hard. His balloon was gone, destroyed beyond hope of repair. It wasn’t fair. He barely had a chance to enjoy it and now it was gone… forever.

[sprnklersplashes]

kept me like a secret (but I kept you like an oath) (ao3)

when taylor swift makes you crank out 3.6k of janis related angst

She wonders if she sounds as suffocated as she feels. The room is relatively packed; art students and teachers from all over Illinois for this. Apparently, some professors from art colleges come to these things, too, seeking out young talent. Never too early, her art teacher had advised. Several people have come up to her over the last hour or so, ranging from her age to her grandma’s age. Congratulating her, asking about her piece, handing her little plastic business cards. She’s smiled, and nodded, and taken each one, but the words melt away before they reach her. She’s spent all night looking at those damn doors, and although the sight of them makes her sick, she doesn’t stop.

“It’s not going to disappear on you, you know.” Damian appears beside her, his expression equal parts humourful and concerned. He holds a paper plate in front of her and silences her oncoming protests with a raised eyebrow. “I haven’t seen you eat anything all night. Eat, bitch.”

“I’m not hungry,” she mutters, but she takes the plate anyway. She’s not eaten much all day. At first, she chalked it up to nerves, and honestly, her stomach was tied in knots from the minute she woke up. But then her name was announced, a shiny blue ribbon pinned to her painting, and she got everything she thought she wanted. And yet she still feels so full, to the point where she feels weighed down. She picks at the sandwich he got her before shoving a veggie roll in her mouth to keep him happy. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” Out of the corner of her eye, she watches his smile fade as he looks towards the door. She doesn’t need to ask him what he’s thinking. She doesn’t want to either; his face makes her feel crappy enough.

“Look, I know she isn’t coming,” she sighs. “I know. She’s out of town. I was just hoping….” Her voice trails off, her throat tightening. What was she hoping? That she’d scrap plans with her parents to hang out with her at a silly little art show and applaud her silly little painting? Please. Like she’d trade Neil deGrasse Tyson for her. She used to have a sticker of him on his laptop, and she showed Janis video after video of him. She loves that guy.

Janis wonders where that sticker is now because it isn’t on her laptop anymore.

“You know this was meant to be fun, right?” Damian asks, his voice quiet. The question takes her off-guard, and she frowns at him. She knows what he means, she just doesn’t like it.

“I’m having fun.”

“Oh. That is your fun face?” he asks.

“Yeah.” Damian winces at the defensive edge in her voice, and she closes her eyes tightly. She didn’t even mean it, and now what little calmness there was is blown away like dust. She rubs at her forehead and suppresses a groan. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay,” he says. “I get it. I wish she were here too.” Janis nods grimly. After winter break, it feels like they’ve seen less and less of Cady. And when they do see her, it doesn’t feel like her. Not the little flannel-clad, rosy-cheeked jungle freak they met in the bathroom. Her eyes are sharper, her smile calculated, and any colour on her cheeks is fake now. Swahili and her mashed-up words are replaced with text-speak and hollow ‘love ya’s. Try as she might, Janis can’t help how the hair on the back of her neck raises around her sometimes.

Janis looks at the door again. She can almost picture Cady running through it. In her image, Cady is clad in rolled-up jeans and a flannel, and curls bounce around her shoulders as she runs up to meet them. She can almost hear herself showing Cady her painting, almost hears Cady’s responses. The image makes her cheeks warm, and then she rolls her eyes at herself. She’s so needy sometimes it embarrasses her.

“Hey.” She bumps her arm against Damian’s. “I’m kind of over it in here. It’s getting too crowded. How about we go get some ice cream instead?” She tries a smile. “It’s my treat.”

Damian eyes her for a moment, a question held in his gaze, but thankfully he avoids it.

“Okay. But then I’m paying for the pizza tonight.”

The ice cream parlour is almost deserted when they walk in, the clerk raising an eyebrow at them. They look disappointed and Janis can’t blame them; they were probably hoping to close up early. She gives them a generous tip to try to make up for it before taking her and Damian’s sundaes down to their little corner table.

“You youths and your phones,” she tuts as he sits down. Damian pulls a face at her and takes his off the tray.

“For your information, I am liking the post the Art Expo put up of you,” he says. “Lookit.” He turns his phone towards her and shows her the photo, her and the organiser, grinning at the camera as she holds up her winning picture. It’s a nice photo, but all she can think is how her cheeks hurt throughout it. There’s another one, her shaking hands with the judges, and then one candid one where she’s looking down at the ribbon. The disbelief is written across her face, as is the pride. It was a rare moment where she allowed herself to feel it. Whatever else, she is proud of herself for this. She’s spent weeks working towards it.

“Well, thanks,” she says. She posted one photo tonight of her outfit for the expo. She bought this dress especially for tonight and went back and forth on pairing it with this jacket. It got quite a good reception, especially from the Art Boys and Damian’s drama pals and other almost-friends. A fair number of comments of hearts and variations of “gorgeous” flooded her notifications.

Comments from everyone, except the one person she wanted.

She swallows down a mouthful of chocolate cause and glace cherries.

“So, what movie do you want to watch tonight?” she asks. “I will be honest and say I’m not in a Bee Movie mood, but I can do Shark Tale if you really want to convince me it’s the peak of cinema again.” She swirls her spoon around her glass, the seconds ticking by without a response. She nudges her foot against his under the table. “Damian?”

She glances up just in time to see his expression, and what she sees forms a deep pit in her stomach. His mouth falls open slightly, his eyes widening in what she can only describe in abject horror. He looks like someone came in while she was distracted and kicked him in the stomach, and it makes her blood run cold.

“Damian.” Her voice is stronger now, more urgent, and her hand covers his. His gaze snaps to hers. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” He covers it up terribly, especially considering how good of an actor she knows he is. He’s hiding something, and her eye is drawn to his phone. Instagram is still open on it. On the other hand, his doesn’t leave her face. He grasps her hand tightly, and she still feels it shaking. “Really, it’s nothing, Janis, don’t wor-”

She doesn’t let him finish the sentence before she dives across the table. She uses his shock to her advantage, and it only takes three seconds of struggle before his phone is in her hand. Somehow, it managed to stay unlocked, but even if it didn’t, she has three solid guesses for his passcode.

“Janis, give me my phone,” he says. “Really, it’s nothing, I just-”

But it’s too late. He was protecting her. Of course, he was. Since they were twelve, that’s what they’ve done for each other. But she was too quick and too stubborn, and she’s seen it.

Cady’s living room. People dressed in short skirts and too-tight jeans. In Cady’s living room. People stand on couches and hold vases up in the air like they’re trophies. When she was last in Cady’s house, she had admired those vases and even chatted to Cady’s mom about them.

She scrolls through the feed, her hand trembling, and each new image feels like a physical attack. People, her classmates, dancing, laughing, drinking. She can hear the music through the picture, smell the alcohol and sweat. And it’s in Cady’s living room.

And then, five pictures down, there she is. Cady. Cady, who’s meant to be out of town tonight. Standing in a black lace dress, her hair curled as though she did it especially for tonight. A shot glass in her hand. Her head thrown back. Dancing on a table. Eyes bright. Laughing.

She looks beautiful.

Janis feels sick. Her meager dinner mixes with her ice cream, creating a sticky, slimy mess that climbs up her throat.

Her fingers fumble, and the phone falls to the table as her grip weakens. Damian carefully slides it away from her, and his hand wraps around hers.

“Janis?”

He doesn’t ask if she’s okay. He knows better than that. It would be the stupid question to end all stupid questions. She presses her cold hand to her chest, trying to fill the hole that’s been scooped out of it. Of all the things that could have happened, this was the worst. The very bottom of the barrel. Every nightmare she didn’t even know she had. She clenches her jaw until it hurts, her vision blurring until her mascara runs down her cheeks.

“I need to go home.”

She bolts out and Damian follows her, and their unfinished ice creams sit abandoned on the table.

It feels like a cruel twist of fate, running into Cady on the street. Like the universe isn’t finished fucking wither and has some extra salt to rub into her sound. For a second, Janis thinks she’s not real, a trick conjured up by her buzzing, frantic mind. Like the violent colours of her feelings painted a replica of Cady to taunt her. But no, she’s real and has a hell of a lot of nerve. Her excuses cut her like tiny daggers. But of course, Janis would hate this party. This party is so full of awesome people doing awesome things. What would Janis know about that?

She has to wonder if Cady knows what she’s doing. If this, like the hair and the clothes, were picked up from Regina.

Then she says what she says, and she doesn’t wonder anymore.

She’s too busy screaming on the inside to wonder.

She takes the ribbon off the painting before she throws it at Cady. That’s her fucking prize. She earned that, and no one, not even the replacement apex predator, gets to take it away from her.

The painting, on the other hand… just looking at it makes her see red. So yeah, Cady can have it. She hopes it touches the part of her heart that hasn’t been turned plastic.

It’s a pointless wish and a self-destructive one too, but she hopes Cady looks at it tonight and wishes she’d gone with her instead.

She won’t, though.

They’re quiet for a long time. They’re quiet on the jazzy ride home, and they’re quiet on the walk up her drive, and they’re even quiet when they trek up to her room. The only conversation they make is with her parents, and even then, Damian takes the lead. He’s the actor, after all, and he’s far better at putting up the brave face than she is. She mumbles some excuse about needing the bathroom and runs upstairs, unable to face her parents with the mindset she’s in. She cant put them through something like this, not again.

It’s only after god-knows how long of her laying on her bedroom floor, her head in Damian’s lap and her eyes on the ceiling, that Damian finally asks her, “Do you want to talk about it?”.

She sighs heavily and covers her face with her hands. She does-she’s sure she does-but she doesn’t even know what there is to talk about. It all flurries in her head like snowflakes in a storm, and she shivers from the cold.

“It was another party,” she says eventually. Her voice s hoarse, her throat tight. “Another… another freaking party that I wasn’t invited to.” She gasps, then chokes, and it’s like someone somewhere opened a floodgate. Her cries wreck through her body, her chest heaving with the effort, and it just keeps coming. “She lied. She lied to us.” She sniffles, and selfishness briefly takes over. “She lied to me.”

Maybe the worst part is how harrowingly familiar this all is. They’re only six days (and five years) apart. Regina’s party, where everyone went except her, and she had sat and watched it all unfold on Facebook. And Cady’s party, that she didn’t even know was happening. The only thing missing is the slur on her locker.

The questions come slowly, like waves, and each one hurts more than the last.

Was this her plan all along? Pretend like she was going out of town to skip her art show? Throw a party and invite everyone but her? Did she know about the old wounds she was opening up… did she even care?

Why did she say that to her- it’s not my fault you’re like in love with me or something. Why those specific words? Was she just being cruel, or did Janis let her guard down, get too comfortable. Did she make it obvious?

She doesn’t know if she’s in love with Cady or not. She doesn’t know if she wants to be. If she was, she doesn’t know if she still is.

“I thought she was my friend,” she mumbles against Damian’s leg. “I thought she cared about me. About us.” She wriggles closer and wraps her arm around Damian. “I’m sorry. I know you care about her too.”

“I do,” he sighs. “But she’s not you.” He runs his fingers gently through her hair, but even that doesn’t do much to make her feel better. That’s how she knows it’s bad.

It feels worse than it was with Regina. Maybe it’s because she’s older, maybe it’s the old trauma reawakening, threatening to consume her. Maybe it’s her new hope breaking down, the jagged edges stabbing her.

Who’s the version of Janis that exists in Cady’s mind now? How does she appear to her? She’s spent the past five years training herself not to care about other people’s opinions, but not knowing this is driving her insane. Does she see her the way Regina sees her; the too loud, too mouthy, over-dramatic weirdo, taking up too much space, needing too much? Just a placeholder she would tolerate until something more interesting came along. What if she was just a novelty to her, meanwhile she was placing Cady in her future plans as though their friendship meant something.

She doesn’t want to care about other people, but the idea of Cady seeing her like that is a new kind of hell.

Eventually, they end up sitting on Janis’ bed. She changes out of her party dress and pulls on PJ shorts and an old t-shirt. She feels Damian’s eyes on her as she shoves the dress into the back of her closet. God, she loves that dress. She hopes she can still love it after tonight. They position the laptop on their legs and load up Shrek 2, because it’s as much of a feel-good movie as it gets. She tries to laugh along, tries to sing along to that soundtrack she loves so much. She tries to feel anything other than the deep, cold despair that holds her so tightly now or the blazing rage she knows she can fall into.

She’s lying half-slumped against Damian, her cheek pressed to his shoulder, when she feels her phone vibrating against her hip. She hasn’t looked at her phone since the ice cream parlour; honestly, she’d forgotten she had it on her. She doesn’t know why she does.

Damian doesn’t hear it, and so she slips it carefully out. Cady’s face fills the screen, the words ‘Cady calling’ blared across the top, and Janis bites her tongue until she tastes blood. She doesn’t even know what to feel, white noise flooding her brain. It’s like everything is cancelling each other out; grief, pain, anger, confusion, and the one tiny daring spark of relief that she thought of her at all.

God, she’s pathetic.

“I need the bathroom,” she announces. “I’ll just be a minute.” Damian nods, and even pauses the movie. He doesn’t notice her phone, hidden in her t-shirt, or the way the call ends and a new one starts up again.

She locks the bathroom door when she gets in, and she falls into the bathtub. She pants heavily like she’s just run 100 miles rather than the few feet across the landing. She waits until the vibrating stops before she takes her phone out, because she might answer it if she doesn’t.

She has three missed calls from Cady. She doesn’t even know how to feel about that. And what’s more surprising are the several text messages and DMs on Instagram and voice messages on WhatsApp. Cady does love voice messages. She said they feel more authentic than a text.

She snorts at that, because clearly, this Cady doesn’t know shit about being authentic.

She deliberately avoids WhatsApp and the calls. She doesn’t want to know what Cady’s voice will do to her. Instead she looks through the texts. Messages saying to her that she can explain. That she’s sorry. That she didn’t mean it. That can Janis please just talk to her so they can work this out.

Gee, where has she heard this one before.

That’s what hurts about this more than anything else. She didn’t realise that Regina George-ness was contagious, but it makes sense. Power corrupts, and she pushed Cady towards the most coveted position in the high school food chain. She should’ve seen this coming.

She also thought she should’ve seen Regina coming, in hindsight.

Maybe she’s cursed or unlucky or something. Maybe she’s just stupid.

She presses her hand to her mouth, aware of the presence of both her parents and Damian in the house. Even in the dim reflection of her phone screen, she can see her blotchy eyes, her hair haphazardly twisted into a low bun. Her nails have been chewed and picked down to the wick since they left the art expo. After their run-in with Cady, some of them are just little pink stubs bathed in red.

Ninety-four minutes. That’s how long it’s been since she first saw those pictures. Ninety-four minutes and she’s hurt enough to last a fucking lifetime. That’s how Cady Heron has destroyed her. And even before that, when she spent what should have been one of the best nights of her life waiting for her when she knew she wasn’t coming. She could have been making connections, getting contacts, setting up her future, but she was so focused on one person who clearly couldn’t care less about her. She rakes a hand through her hair and lets out a hot, shuddering breath. How could she have been this stupid?

She looks down at her phone again. She rereads Cady’s messages, and they read much falser than before. A morbidly curious part of her wants to know what Cady’s great explanation is for all this, but she has just enough wisdom this time around to hold back.

She doesn’t care what she has to say. She will make herself not care if she has to.

She opens WhatsApp, her heart pounding a fierce staccato. She opens her and Cady’s chat. There’s a long gap between this conversation and the last. Janis takes a deep breath, swallows the lump in her throat, and presses play.

She hears Cady say her name, and that’s all she can take. Her head and her heart are assaulted on all fronts; her pain and her self-pitying, her month-old excitement crumbling in Cady’s hands, the contempt in her eyes when she looked at her, the words ‘not my fault you’re in love with me’ echoing through her mind. Cady and Regina’s faces switch in her mind until they blur into one, and above the hurricane, she hears that little girl ask, why.

Why did this happen to us again?

Why did we let this happen to us again?

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, the words broken on her tongue. She runs a hand across her wet cheek, her fingers coming away glistening. She can blame Cady and Regina, and she does, but there’s a huge part of her that feels she did this to herself. That either she was too much too soon, or that she wasn’t careful enough. Maybe both. Either way, she should have known better.

Well, now she does.

She reads Cady’s messages one more time before she blocks her number. She doesn’t bother reading the DM’s before she blocks her too, and does the same on every social media she knows Cady has. She might not be able to build a physical wall between herself and Cady, but this is the next best thing.

She leans back in the tub and lets her head fall back. Outside, raindrops fall against the window. The phone falls from her hand, no doubt breaking on the bathroom tiles. Her lips started bleeding at some point, probably from her biting them, and the blood mixes with the salt in her tears. Her hand sits on her chest, right over her weak heart, her bones weary and aching from the battle she just fought.

Even if she wakes up tomorrow okay, she won’t be fine for a long while.

support me on ko-fi

[orangefoxes]

Hey, so I've been trying to submit a prompt but it won't work so here it goes I know this will be sad but what if Neil gets really sad and depressed (the reason is up for interpretation ex: bullied by jack or is haunted by PTSD) and so he becomes full of self hate and becomes anorexic and cuts himself #andreil (this would mean so much since I've been through similar circumstances and was strong enough to pull through and keep living, this book and your Tumblr have helped me so much)

Hi @soph-ie21 I am so sorry this took a whopping 4 years for me to post. I’m terrible for not checking my inbox as my notifications have been turned off for tumblr since I was like 13. I’m so glad to hear that you recovered from your ED, you must be so strong and I’m so proud of you as I know how difficult that is to do. I’m hoping this is the sort of prompt you were looking for, if you’re even looking after this long, as it’s not very dialogue heavy, but here you go.

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER, SELF LOATHING, ANOREXIA.

When in high stress situations, to cope, the brain releases a hormone called cortisol. It’s alright in small doses, helpful even. It triggers your fight or flight response and readies the body to do something, fast. Constant exposure to the hormone however, has some not so good long term effects. Effects that include, but are not limited to: high blood pressure, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and, arguably the mildest, weight gain.

Cortisol results in weight gain for two reasons. The first is because it slows your metabolism, and the second is because the drop in blood sugar from constant high blood pressure means that you start craving fatty, sugary foods, which leads to overeating. Neil’s memory is not nearly good enough for him to recall what foods he had craved over the years, but he and his mother shied away from sweets and chocolate for dental reasons, it probably would have been a hardship for many kids growing up but Neil had never much cared for sugar anyway. However, what he and his mother did indulge in is a lot of fatty, fast food. Partly because it was cheap, partly because it was something they could eat while on the move, and partly because no one would look twice at two sketchy people in a Burger King or remember a beaten up old car briefly pausing in a drive thru.

While never giving much thought to how he looked (short of checking for ginger roots and the bruise on his cheek from where his mother had slapped that smile from his face), Neil does remember his weight fluctuating a lot when he was younger. The more stressful the months, the chubbier he got. It was in the quiet periods as he and his mother settled down and didn’t dare to venture into the supermarket too often that he began to lose it again. It was a cycle.

In Millport, Neil was at his lowest weight yet. There was only a solitary McDonald’s in town and Neil wasn’t about to become a regular. He stocked up on tinned food from the supermarket in his first week in town instead and meticulously made his way through them, heating the can up on the hot plate he had bought for four dollars from the thrift store in the high street.

He gained weight again once he started at Palmetto, he gained muscle mass too. This, of course, was thanks to three free meals a day and a new training regime with daily exercise. It was to be expected, but if, perhaps, he gained weight quicker than his teammates and muscle slower, well, he had bigger things to worry about.

Then he knew he was going to live.

Then everything with the Moriyamas was…well, not gone, but resolved.

That’s not to say there was nothing to stress about. There was the influx of reporters wanting to catch the Foxes’ attention to ask about Nathaniel Wesninski. There was Kevin’s impending break down as Riko’s funeral came and went. There was Aaron’s trial. Honestly it probably would have gone as stressful situations for Neil always go - here and gone just as quickly - except it turns out that Nicky cooks when he’s stressed, and Neil, well, he’s a stress eater.

After Aaron is declared innocent, Nicky resumes as normal. Neil…not quite. He’s constantly opening the cupboards to look for something to eat only to close them again when he finds nothing of interest. Without Nicky cooking, there’s nothing he can easily dig into and Neil, while accumulating many skills over the years, had never been a hand in the kitchen. The only things ready-eat that were consistently in the dorm were ramen and ice-cream. Even the thought of ramen makes Neil want to vomit and Neil wasn’t so desperate that he would resort to eating something as sweet as ice cream. Not that Andrew would let him if he did. (Andrew wasn’t a sharer).

He started to feel hungry.

He was always hungry.

The first few days he started to skip meals, he didn’t even notice he was doing it. Surely he didn’t notice he was doing it.

It’s just -

Here’s the thing.

Maybe he stress eats. Maybe his mother did too. They spent long car journeys with a family sized bag of potato chips resting by the gear stick and they spent half the time stuffing handfuls into their mouths and the other half checking the mirrors for cars that stayed behind them a touch to long. So maybe he stress ate, but it was never because of hunger: it was because of craving. It was because it gave him something to do with his hands. It was only when things quietened down, when the weeks turned long with the monotonous almost-existence that took up the majority of Neil’s life growing up (here’s something no one tells you about life on the run, in between the moments of sheer terror, it’s very very very boring), it was only then, that Neil actually began to feel things like hunger.

So when the hunger pangs began to curdle in his stomach, well, he didn’t mind. It meant he was safe enough to feel the hunger.

Maybe for the first couple of days he didn’t notice it. But then he noticed it.

He noticed enough to avoid things like rice and bread. Danger foods that packed on the calories and that made him bite the inside of his cheek until it bled at the mere thought. He noticed enough that he began to watch the others train and saw their muscles flex and couldn’t help but track their muscle growth and measure it up against his own. He always found himself lacking.

That’s when it started to get worse. If Allison spent 20 minutes on the treadmill. Then Neil would do 30. If Kevin did 40 push ups. Then Neil would do 50. If Renee had a salad for lunch, then Neil would just have a fruit pot.

The first time Andrew noticed that he skipped a meal, Neil just blinked. Being who he was, Neil didn’t do stupid things like stumble for lies and this time was no different. When Andrew asked about him not eating Neil just blinked like he hadn’t even noticed until Andrew brought it up.

He blinked and said “oh, you’re right. I got so caught up in watching exy reruns i didn’t even notice”

He said, “thanks, I’ll grab something in a sec”

Andrew breathed a scoffing breath down his nose, rolled his eyes and called him a junkie. He didn’t look at all surprised, as though Neil was only confirming what he had already guessed. Which of course is the trick all good liars employ.

Neil wondered if he would be surprised if he were to find out how impossible it would be for Neil to forget a meal time. He could never forget. All he thought about was food. It was all he thought about.

Food began to feel like it was all he cared about. Cared about more than school. Cared about more than exy. Is it terrible of him that that more than anything else feels like the worst thing?

And then, as things do, it got worse.

It turned into Neil stood in front of the mirror (looking at his body but not his eyes, never his eyes) and pinching the flesh between his fingers. Noticing every part of him that didn’t harden into muscle like the others. Noticing all the scars that had stretched strangely over a waist and thighs that are no longer as small.

He begins to peck at his food. Rip it into tiny pieces. Andrew looks down at his plate and glowers at him. Neil gives him a cheeky grin. He knows what he’s thinking. That this is just another one of those Andrew-mannerisms that Neil is taking on for himself. Like the sarcastic salutes and the blank, waiting stares. It’s so much easier to hide how little you’ve eaten when it’s all in pieces.

He didn’t know how to explain it. He just knows he needs to be thinner. He needs to weigh less. It’s not about looks. It’s never been about looks. He just needs to do this. He needs to be smaller. It will be alright then. Because then…then…

Well it will be alright then.

So here’s the thing about guilt and self loathing: they’re useless emotions. Andrew would be quick to agree. (Though Andrew is a hypocrite and is chock full of the both of them). His mother would agree too. How many times had Neil slipped poison into someone’s drink, stole from someone just as desperate, shot someone who maybe or maybe-not deserved it? And how many times after that did his mother pinch and prod at him and repeat the same mantra of “don’t you dare let guilt slow you down, you slow down and you’re dead”

Well, Mum, he’s slowed down. He slowed down so much that he’s stopped altogether and guess what? He fucking hates himself.

He replays it all in his head like a terrible loop. The boy in Switzerland that he tricked into taking his jacket so His fathers men would go after him instead. The old women he and his mother tricked into housing them and then slipped something in her tea until she slept and never woke up again. The homeless man who had broken into the house they were squatting in that Neil had shot on instinct. Seth.

Seth. Seth. Seth.

He fucking hates himself. Honestly the hunger pains kind of feel like the best thing he’s ever felt after that. The pain, the ache, he deserves it.

Then it gets worse. Then comes the worst part.

Andrew’s meds change again. The others had begun to make him irritable and he always had an energy crash by about 5pm and a terrible headache. The new ones wouldn’t be of much note as they did nothing groundbreakingly different, short of getting rid of the headaches and not sapping so much of his energy.

Except for one key side effect of the meds.

They suppressed Andrew’s appetite.

More and more Andrew is missing meals. He won’t even eat more than a tablespoon of ice cream. Neil watches him and adjusts himself to suit. He doesn’t know why, but he just can’t be eating more than him, he can’t.

The frustration he feels about Andrew’s meds soon turn to resentment. He hates that he has to watch Andrew not eat and not seem affected by it at all. Andrew lessens his exercise under Betsy’s advice and yet nothing changes. His weight stays the same. He probably even loses some thanks to the loss of muscle. Neil watches and Neil hates. He hates that if he skipped out on training he would pack on the pounds, he hates that his stomach hurt and hurts and Andrew doesn’t spare a thought on food at all.

He starts to avoid the roof. He starts to dodge Andrew’s gaze the same way he does his own in the mirror.

The next time they’re alone and Andrew leans in, more hesitant than he’s been in months, Neil jerks back and snaps “No.”

It isn’t even completely because of the resentment. The majority of it is because he feels disgusting and fat and he can’t bare Andrew touching him right now. Can’t bare him looking at him.

Andrew’s face closes off and he slides back to the other side of the couch. He’s searching Neil’s face, trying to find the misstep, trying to find what he did wrong.

Good, let him think he did something wrong.

Now that’s the resentment.

It’s immediately one of the worst things Neil has ever thought. He remembers sitting, trembling, on the roof, Andrew refusing to touch him saying “I wont be like them, I wont let you let me be”

And Neil’s trying to make him think, wants to make him feel -

Jesus Christ. He’s a piece of fucking shit.

He slams his way out of the dorm and runs and runs and runs.

He sleeps in the locker room and slumps out in the morning so he’s first in the main room for the meeting with Wymack. He sits on a chair that’s as far away from every other seat as it can get while still completing the make do semi-circle around where Wymack usually stands. When the others begin to filter in they take in his new seat, but don’t comment when they see his storming expression.

When Andrew sees him he pauses for a beat in the doorway before continuing to his usual seat on the couch. He stares at Neil blankly, but his hands are clenching and unclenching in his lap. Wymack hesitates but doesn’t say anything. The others play at being uninterested and only Aaron openly looks between Neil and Andrew with a steadyingly darkening expression.

Neil slams his locker and gets changed in the cubicles for the first time in months. He’s vicious in practice. Throwing in as many dirty moves as he can. Andrew stands in the goal and does nothing. When it’s only Wymack’s sharp whistle that stops Neil bringing his racket down on Matt’s arm when he attempts to steal the ball, Neil is benched.

He yanks off his helmet and slumps down on the bench and tries to remember how to breathe through rage.

He’s sat, pinching at the skin on his thigh, for ten minutes before Allison joins him. She holds out a breakfast bar and Neil stiffens.

“Eat, it might help you stop being such a raging asshole,” she says.

Neil takes the breakfast bar and when she doesn’t immediately leave he opens it and snaps a bit off with his fingers.

He stares down the rolled oats and nuts and grimaces at the sticky feeling of the syrup that holds them together. He feels sick.

“Are you going to eat?” Allison says.

Neil looks at her and huffs a bitter breath through his nose. A wry smile pulls at the corner of his lips.

He remembers that Allison battled bulimia for years.

You can’t lie to a liar.

She looks at his face. Concern trying to become anger that she’s trying to force to stay concern. She looks at his face and then over at Andrew, who is stood in his goal watching them as Kevin shouts at him to fucking do something already. She looks back at Neil.

“You know, relationships are hard enough without mental health problems in the mix. Seth and I were a terrible combination for many reasons and that was one them. I’m not saying it can’t be done or that it shouldn’t be done, I’m just saying it makes it so much harder. He used to try to make me eat. I hated him for that. Hated that I had to hide my own habits in my own room. One day, after he stopped me from going to purge one too many times we got into an argument. I said some disgusting things to him. The next day he was in the hospital because of an overdose. He had to get his stomach pumped. You know what the worst thing is? I don’t even remember what it is I said. I don’t know if what I did triggered him or if it would have happened anyway, but it couldn’t have helped. You’re always going to trigger each other at one point or another, it’s unavoidable. But if you know that and you don’t do anything to help yourself…well that’s when every shit thing you think about yourself starts to become true. So tell me, are you a piece of shit that’s going to drag everyone down with you, or are you better than that?”

Neil looks down at the breakfast bar. He still can’t make himself eat it.

He swallows harshly against the lump in his throat. He has to swallow two more times until he’s sure he can talk without crying.

“What’s betsy’s number?” He asks.

Allison doesn’t smile, but she nods like he’s done the right thing and pulls out her phone.

SIDE NOTE: I’d like to point out that Neil is very flawed and toxic in his thinking and Allison is harsh in what she says to him just because she’s a harsh person. If you have an eating disorder I know sometimes help and recovery seems like the worst thing in world and something you really don’t want, but please, please seek help. You can do it.

[wtf-yoongi]

Plain sight. / KTH

pairing | taehyung x reader

summary | taehyung just wants to be loved (and love is right under his nose)

genre/warnings | fluff + a lil bit of angst?

words | 1,999

note | requested by the lovely 💜💜💜 anon (full request at the end!) sorry for taking the longest time. i’m such a lazy writer

Taehyung is sulking.

The man is sitting on the farthest seat of the comfy sofa, hand clutching his phone tightly as if it could grow wings and fly away at any second. The TV isn’t on, but he’s looking at the screen intently, brows just slightly furrowed in deep thought.

What he is thinking about, though… That’s still a mystery to you.

You have tried to guess whatever is bothering him for — at the very least — half an hour now, but got to no conclusion. Taehyung just sits there, legs crossed and body barely moving except for the rise and fall of his chest, not bothered by your stares or Yeontan’s little wiggles.

How could he after the invitation he got through the mail this morning?

A freaking wedding invitation. His youngest cousin is getting married. The youngest. Why does it have to be the youngest?

Taehyung has reminded himself time and time again that his moment would come. The thing that he feels like is missing so badly in his life would eventually come. There’s no need to rush, no need to worry or stress over this.

Until that pretty envelope came in. Delicate piece of expensive paper, fancy handwriting and all. He is sure someone sprayed perfume on it because the thing even smells good.

Honestly — why does it have to be the youngest one?

What bothers him the most, though, is that he is supposed to be happy for him — and Taehyung, don’t get him wrong, is. His cousin has found someone with whom he wishes to share his life with, who will be there no matter what, will support his decisions and bring his feet down to earth when needed. Someone who will make him eat his veggies and all.

But damn. Taehyung wants that too. He wants to be Loved.

Yes, Loved, with capital L. Not the sort of love you get from you mom — although that is great as well —, but the Love you see in cheesy movies, the Love people talk about in songs, the Love that makes you do irrational things. Taehyung wants all of that. He wants to do irrational things too.

Is that too much to ask?

Too bad you have no idea of what’s going on inside his head. You would be the first to tell him that no, it isn’t too much to ask. Taehyung just needs to realize what’s right in front of him. Right under his nose.

It’s right here, right now. All the capital-L-love he wants. All the love he will ever need. All the love you think is silly and unrequited. Everything you feel the urge to hide as best as you can. The reason why it’s a beautiful and sunny Saturday afternoon and you’re happy to be in Taehyung’s apartment instead of enjoying it outside — just because his mom asked you to make sure he doesn’t sleep until three in the afternoon while she’s on vacation with his father.

You could’ve accepted your friend’s invitation to take a walk after lunch. You could’ve just called Taehyung to make sure he was awake and had something to eat and be okay with it. Except you couldn’t — you had to come by, you had to stop at the convenience store to get something he likes, you had to use your spare key to open the door because Taehyung was, in fact, still sleeping.

What is there to hide? It’s all in plain sight. Taehyung is the only one who can’t see it.

He had gone back to bed after breakfast — he said it emotionlessly right after you asked him if he had eaten anything today. When you arrived, Taehyung already looked a bit displeased, replacing the usual smile and warm hug he welcomes you with for a frown and a cold stare. He didn’t crack even when he saw the treats you had bought, saying thanks in a low voice. At least you can say it isn’t your fault — or at least you can guess so. 

To pass the time, you try to keep your hands busy in the kitchen, cleaning up counters and emptying the dishwasher even though no one asked you to do so. Deep down, you know you don’t want to go so soon — even if your friend isn’t the greatest of hosts right now, being here is still somewhat calming. The silence coming from Tae is definitely better than the silence coming from the walls of your apartment.

But enough is enough. You need to know what’s going on inside his head — and not just because you’re curious. Most of all, you want to help. What if it’s something serious? What if it’s something to do with work? You may not be able to do much, but getting it out would surely help, right?

You call his name, raising your voice a little for him to hear you from the living room, but he doesn’t even move a finger. Taehyung seems to be inside of a bubble, protected by a layer of annoyance that not many people would dare to pop. A long exhale comes out of your lips — it may hurt, but you need to know.

As you walk towards his sitting figure, Yeontan — definitely not oblivious to the fact something’s not right — follows you with pleading eyes. He asks you to raise his little body to the couch when you sit and your hands accommodate him between yours and Taehyung’s legs.

Even then, the man doesn’t seem to notice you’re so close. You call his name again. “Taehyung… Come on, you have to tell me what’s wrong.”

That’s when he snaps out of it. 

“I’m okay,” he says calmly and nods, but his eyes don’t connect with yours like they usually do and you know he’s lying to protect himself. You don’t like it — he shouldn’t feel the need to do that with you. “I’m just thinking.”

“Okay, then,” you concede, relaxing your stance. Yeontan promptly jumps on you belly. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

It takes Taehyung a few moments to collect his thoughts and you wonder if he’s considering telling you the whole story of just half of it. You try not to think about the worst, about the things that would break your heart, but your mind immediately moves in that direction.

All of a sudden, Tae is turning his body to yours, crossed legs now facing you. He doesn’t speak fast, but you notice — gladly — it is unfiltered. It just comes out of his mouth in long phrases, calm and somewhat frustrated, as if he’s on the brink of giving up.

“Have you ever watched one of those romantic movies that are so gross… The sort of thing you watch and think oh, god, this is disgusting or this thing would never happen in real life or something like that?”

Taehyung just gives you enough time to nod.

“Is it so crazy that my brain has been programmed by these movies and tv shows that are oh-so-delusional and now I’m delusional too? Like, I swear to God, I want to take someone for a walk in the park with Yeontan and have ice cream and sit on a bench and giggle quietly while trying to hide my face from people passing by because I’m way too shy about it.”

And I hate the idea that there’s a possibility that I’ll never be able to do it and it’s completely out of my control because it may happen that destiny doesn’t think I deserve to love someone so much, so much it hurts me physically… But, you know, not in the unhealthy way. I mean in the I’m gonna watch her become one of the greatest people in this world and I’m going to be there when she needs me and I’ll be cheering her on way, you know? Please, don’t get me wrong. I’m not the controlling type and I never want to be that, no.”

And just this morning I got a wedding invitation that made me rethink all of those things and, I don’t know, don’t you think by now I should’ve at the very least fallen in love with someone? And I don’t even mean successfully — I mean at all. All my friends have had somewhat serious relationships and now even my youngest cousin is getting married. I’m happy for him, I am, but I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of it never happening to me. Does that make any sense?”

It takes a while for your brain to process all of that and, most importantly, to separate your role as a friend and your want for something more. You take a deep breath before finally looking up to him, heart breaking as you rational side takes over. “Okay. It makes sense, I get what you’re saying.”

“You do?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Don’t you think it’s weird my twenties are more than halfway gone and I’ve never fallen in love with anyone?”

Your heart breaks a little further with the way there’s so much hope in his eyes. Honestly, not even in your worst nightmares you’d have to go through this sort of conversation with Taehyung — and certainly not while struggling to keep a straight face. You feel tired already from trying so hard, as if your energy has been drained in a second.

Surprisingly, your voice comes out somewhat stable.

“But that’s the thing, Tae. You can’t force this, it happens. And just because it hasn’t happened up until now, it doesn’t mean that it will never,” you add, diverting your gaze to the small dog on your lap. Such a great excuse not to look into Taehyung’s eyes — you wonder if he’ll notice anything when you say your next words. “Also, falling in love isn’t always great. You said you wanted it even if it was unsuccessful, but it hurts, you know?”

“So you have fallen in love?”

“I am in love right now.” You wish you hadn’t answered so promptly. You can’t believe you’re confessing or the words that come out of your mouth next. “And he doesn’t know it and I can’t build enough courage to tell him because I don’t want to lose him over some stupid thing like unrequited love. I just want him in my life, even if it’s not like that… What I’m trying to say is that the movies make it look simple and easy, but it isn’t. Most of the time people just get hurt.”

You’re not looking, but you know from the way Taehyung moves his hands that his eyes aren’t so hopeful anymore. Inside, you’re not just broken from having to keep a mask on while saying all of that, but also for being the one to bring him down so harshly. You wonder if you should’ve toned it down a little, but it’s too late now.

“Okay, I’ve changed my mind,” Taehyung says, slowly and carefully, after a few moments. “What I mean by unsuccessful is not spending the rest of your life with this person. I still want to take them for a walk and have ice cream, at least.”

A laugh escapes your lips — desperate, but thankful for the kindness in his heart. “Fair enough. You want to fall in love and you want them to fall in love too. Even if it’s not forever.”

“Exactly. That’s what I want.”

“Okay. Just…” Your voice falters. There’s a hand clenching your heart tightly as you finish your sentence. “Don’t think about it too much, it will happen when the time is right.”

“Ah, I wonder if I’ll be able to notice it, you know? When I finally fall in love with someone… When they fall in love with me.”

It takes all of you for your last words to come out in a single breath.

“It’s hard to see something when you don’t know what you’re looking for.”

Read more ›› masterlist

request | i needed to share my idea because its making me melt. In the most recent in the soop ep, tae and jk had a heart to heart and tae talked about how he wants to be loved and he needs to know that someone loves him. And i just imagined like a comfort scenario where someone just takes care of him when he’s feeling lonely and unloved. My angsty/fluffy feels. So yeah, if you ever want to write something like this... ill cry (out of joy?) 💜💜💜

note 2 | you can tell by “the most recent in the soop ep” how freaking long it took me to write this. honestly, i struggled. this has been rewritten like four times???? and i’m still not quite sure i like it aaaaah

[chloelucia13]

Chapter 16: The Sauna Test

Pairing: Jonathan Byers x Henderson!reader

Prompt:  You always thought Hawkins was the most boring town of all, stuck in a vacuum void of excitement and entertainment. Well, it seems that way until the world decided to flip upside down, literally.

Chapter summary: Eleven, Max, Nancy, and Jonathan had all grown more suspicious of you and Billy after what El and Max had seen, but when everyone gets separated, the monster decides to rear its ugly head in more ways than one.

Word Count: 3352

Warnings: some angst, some fluff, some action finally (in more ways than one!!), a lil bit of cheating, language, pretty normal stuff

A/N: And we're finally getting somewhere with the Jonathan and reader plot line!!! I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and as always, my ask box and requests and tag lists are open babies! Love ya!

Tags: @just-my-fandom @nightbu-g

El couldn't let go of what she'd seen.

You being with Billy was weird enough and its strangeness had already burrowed under her skin, making her squirm. But the way you were acting, what she had seen that night when she was messing around, it wasn't right.

But what she had seen of Heather had made her downright disturbed. Sure, Billy was an asshole and she knew not to be around him, but he wasn't a murderer... right?

"Hey, there's nothing to worry about anymore, okay?" Max told her, noticing the way that El had gotten lost in her worried thoughts.

El gave her a doubtful look and let out a huff. "It doesn't make sense," she grumbled.

"What doesn't make sense?"

"Heather. The blood. The ice... Y/N."

"Heather had a fever, so she took a cold bath, but she's better now. And Y/N is probably trying to make Billy a better person or something. That has to be it. I don't know where that blood came from, but... we saw her. We saw them both. They're totally fine."

El stared at the wall, her brows furrowed. "What about Billy?"

"What about him?"

"He seemed wrong."

Max chuckled. "Wrong is kind of like his default. But it's nice to know he's not a murderer, because that totally would've sucked. Hell, maybe he seemed different because Y/N's making him better."

The two girls chuckled, and the conversation fell silent.

***

As soon as panicked panting sounded in the next room, Heather rose to her feet and walked over to the two people you held captive. Heather's parents.

You and Billy watched from afar as she spoke to her father, neglecting his pleas before stepping away and allowing you and Billy to replace her spot. Billy knelt in front of Janet as you knelt in front of Tom, both of you instructing them to stay still.

Simultaneously, you both rose to your feet and the three of you walked up the metal stairs. As you ascended the stairs, you could hear their pleas become drowned out by the guttural growls and snarls.

***

The next morning, you had awoke with a heavy pit in your stomach.

The image of Heather's overtaking was still etched behind your eyelids, and though you hadn't witnessed the other overtakings, you imagined that they occurred very similarly.

But the screams. You could never ignore the screams.

Silently, you slipped out of your bed and walked into the kitchen, pulling the freezer open and staring blankly.

The pint of strawberry ice cream from Scoops still sat there, perfectly untouched.

God, you wanted to sob. You wanted to scream. You wanted to go back to when your life was normal- well, more normal than this. Than being fucking possessed by this strange creature who was dragging you through hell.

You wanted to see your brother and his friends again. You wanted to see your friends again. Steve and Robin and Nancy and Jonathan.

Jonathan.

You were mentally kicking yourself, realizing that you spent the past six months avoiding him and now you don't know if you'll ever see him again.

You closed the freezer and scrubbed at your face, only to realize that tears had soaked your cheeks. Quickly, you swiped away the tears and rushed back to your room, not wanting to risk getting caught by your mother and having that creature take over once more.

After locking the door behind you, you curled up on your bed and pulled the blankets over your body. Maybe if you slept, you wouldn't have to deal with all this pain and guilt.

Just as you were drifting off, the doorbell rang. Immediately, your anxiety shot through the roof, and you contemplated not answering the door, but then the doorbell rang once more. You took deep breaths and slowly creeped out of bed, unlocking your door and leaving your room before stepping up to the front door.

Peering through the peephole, your heart sunk to your feet when you saw who was outside. Jonathan stood there awkwardly, his head bowed and his hands in his pockets.

You began to slowly walk away from the door when Jonathan began to speak, his voice traveling into the house. "Y/N?" he called out. "Are you home? I drove by the pool and you weren't there. I just... I was wondering if we could talk?" He sounded stressed, maybe even upset.

Your emotions took over, and against your better judgement, you pulled the door open. You watched as his eyebrows rose in surprise at the fact that you actually opened the door. "What's wrong?" you hummed. "I thought you had work today."

He chuckled, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, that's uh... That's part of the issue," he coughed out. "Can I come in?"

You nodded, stepping to the side and allowing him to come inside before you shut the door behind him. Afterwards, you stepped next to him and the two of sat down on the couch. "So, what's going on?"

"I got fired. Well, Nancy and I got fired."

Your brows knitted together in confusion. "Fired? How? I thought you were doing amazing at the post!" You tucked your legs under yourself and turned to face him directly.

"I was, and I really liked it there! But..." He let out a sigh. "Nancy had answered a call a few days ago from this old woman, saying that all of her fertilizer was going missing."

Sounds like a newsworthy story," you teased.

"Hey, it's serious!"

You held up your hands in surrender, but a giggle slipped past your lips. "Sorry, sorry. Continue."

He let out a playful huff, a smile cracking at the corners of his mouth. "Anyway, she realized that the fertilizer was going missing because there were rats in her basement that were eating it and the rats... They were getting sick, or something." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Nancy and I went to investigate, and we didn't ask any of the higher ups because we knew that they would tell us that it was stupid. We went, and we realized that she was telling the truth. The rats had eaten whole bags of fertilizer."

"Okay, hold on, you said the rats were different? In what way?"

He shrugged, shaking his head. "I have no idea. It was like they were feral, diseased." He let out a sigh before continuing. "We went back to work the next day and Nancy told everyone about what we saw. Like we expected, everyone just thought we were being stupid. That she was some paranoid and lonely old woman who sucked us into one of her many conspiracy theories so she could spend time with somebody."

Jonathan paused, lost in thought with a deep line set between his brows. Silently, you reached forward and smoothed the line with your thumb, brushing some hair away from his face at the same time. "So you got fired because you followed a potential story?"

He shook his head. "We went back last night, and we found her in her basement. She had eaten the fertilizer, along with a whole bunch of chemicals that we found around the house. She was screaming about how she had to go back." He stared silently at the carpet. "Luckily, the ambulance was able to stabilize her and she's safe at the hospital."

You could tell how much guilt he was harboring, how heavy everything weighed on his shoulders. You rested your hand on his shoulder and squeezed, earning a small smile from him. "You saved her, Johnny. I don't think there's anything you should feel bad about."

A sigh left his lips. "Tom thinks that we abused his trust, and we fed into her delusions. So he fired us."

The mention of Tom gave you flashbacks to last night, but you quickly smothered them and instead gave Jonathan a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry."

"I drove Nancy home, and we... we got into a huge fight about everything that happened. About how I needed that job and she didn't, and she fucked it up for both of us. I-I said some things I didn't mean, but..." He returned his gaze to you finally. "I'm just hurt and guilty and confused about how I feel at the same time."

"Well," you sighed, letting your hand drop from his shoulder to his hand, linking your fingers with his. "I know that you both did what you think was right, and I know that you both were so concerned about this because you've seen things that make you worry that it could be something... Out of the ordinary." You scooted a bit closer, looking him in the eye. "But I also know that maybe you let Nancy drag you into this big mess, and you blame her for everything that happened. But Nancy has been going through her own problems, and maybe she felt that she needed to prove herself and her judgement was clouded by that."

He was silent for a moment, letting his eyes search yours as he looked for the words to say. "I should call her. Apologize to her."

You sighed. "Maybe. Or maybe you should let it sit for a bit, make sure you have all of your emotions lined up, because I know you both get a bit hot-headed when you're defending your actions."

He chuckled at that, his eyes dropping to your linked hands and gliding his thumb along your knuckles. "Y'know, Max and El came up to me yesterday, and they said they were looking for you. That they were worried about you."

You resisted the urge to stiffen, instead taking a deep breath and trying to stay calm. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they said that you were being really weird. That you were even hanging out with Billy. It even freaked me out a little bit. I... I guess that was part of the reason I came here, to talk to you. I wanted to make sure you were okay, and now I feel stupid for even worrying."

Please don't feel stupid. Listen to that gut instinct. Please.

"I mean, it definitely is a little stupid," you teased, nudging his shoulder. "I think those girls just have a bit of an overactive imagination. I'm just fine. Just normal old me."

"Thank god for that," he added, a full smile finally spreading across his face.

You returned his smile before rising off the couch. "Do you want something to drink or eat?"

He shook his head, also pushing himself to his feet. "No, I should probably get going. Thank you, though."

You nodded, walking him to the door and opening it for him. "Of course. Thanks for checking up on me, Jonathan, even if I didn't need it."

He stepped out the door and stood on the porch for a moment, eyes flitting over your face. "I missed you, Y/N."

A small sigh left your lips. "I missed you too. So much. Stay in touch, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay. Bye, Y/N."

"Bye, Johnny." With one final wave, you closed the front door.

***

After seeing Jonathan that morning, you had felt a sort of urge to see him again, a magnetic pull towards that boy who broke your heart.

You knew it was dangerous to see him, not only because he was now in a committed relationship with your friend (though after what he told you had happened between them, you wondered if that label would last), but also due to the fact that you had no idea when this creature controlling you would make you snap and do god-knows-what.

So you locked yourself in your room once more, staring at the ceiling as you laid on the floor and attempted to will this horrible longing feeling away.

To no one's surprise, it didn't work.

Your next idea was to go spend time with Steve, hoping that maybe he would talk some sense into you. You threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater and drove to the mall in the sweltering heat, not wanting to risk letting your skin bubble and sizzle under the sun like BIlly's had.

But of course, neither Steve nor Robin were working, and no one had heard from them.

Under normal circumstances, you would be worried about their wellbeing, but you frankly had too much on your mind concerning your own wellbeing that you didn't fret about it. Instead, you ordered a pint of strawberry and a pint of mint chip from the boy at the counter and hurried out of the mall.

Before you could even stop yourself, you had pulled up (in the

car you had finally gotten fixed) onto the rocky front yard of the Byers' house.

With a few mumbled profanities towards your impulsiveness, you grabbed both pints of ice cream and stepped up the front porch steps that creaked under your feet. You knocked at the front door and shifted awkwardly, turning slightly to glance at the setting sun.

"Y/N?"

You turned around to face Jonathan who stood at the door, now dressed in an olive green tee shirt and a pair of jeans. "Hi!" you hummed, smiling brightly.

"Hi," he chuckled, mirroring your smile. "What are you doing here?"

You shrugged, brushing past him and walking into the house. "I thought you might still be feeling down about today, so I wanted to bring you some ice cream. You still like mint chip, right?"

His eyes followed your figure as you walked into the kitchen and grabbed two spoons for the both of you. "Uh, yeah. Thanks...?"

You finally stopped moving for a moment to take in his confused state. With a sigh, you sat down on the couch, placing the ice cream and spoons down on the coffee table. "And after seeing you today, I realized how much I missed spending time with you. I guess... I guess I just wanted to see you again and catch up."

His look of confusion slowly melted into one of comfort and slight melancholy. "I missed you too. I'm glad you came over." We walked over and sat on the couch, his leg bumping into yours. "And I'm glad that you brought me ice cream."

You nudged his shoulder with yours, giving him a beaming smile. "You're lucky I remembered your favorite. I was just about to get some only for me."

He shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I don't mind sharing."

"I do!"

He laughed, resting his head on your shoulder as his shoulders shook with giggles. You laughed with him, but you were acutely aware of how close he was to you.

As your laughs died down, the two of you opened your individual pints of ice cream and began to dig in. "Have you talked to Nancy yet?" you asked before shoveling a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.

He shook his head, letting out a sigh. "Not yet. I'm taking your advice and letting everything settle for a bit," he replied, leaning back on the couch. "I just... our argument made me realize a lot."

"Like what?" you mirrored his position, leaning back on the arm of the couch.

"I mean, I knew that we both came from different backgrounds and we would never agree on some things, but..." He poked his ice cream with his spoon. "I guess I never realized that though we've spent so much time together, she still has this idea that everyone has it as good as she does. That people can just throw away something that doesn't fit them perfectly because they have the money to do so." He lifted his eyes from his ice cream and up to you. "And maybe I'm narrow-minded too, spending time with other people who knew what it was like living without a lot of money."

You frowned as he spoke, slowly leaning forward to set your ice cream and spoon down on the coffee table. "Do you think that it could... hurt you guys in the long run? Knowing what she sees about the whole situation?"

He set his ice cream down as well, pulling his feet up onto the couch and crossing his legs. "I-I don't know."

Silently, the two of you searched each other's eyes with baited breath, a million thoughts racing through your head.

It was at that moment that your judgement took a back seat, and you felt that inky fog lurking in your mind.

You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He let out a hum of surprise, but he made no move to pull away from you. Slowly, you moved your hands to the back of his neck and scooted closer to him so you didn't have to crane your neck. You huffed out a sigh of relief as his hands finally rested on your cheeks, his shoulders beginning to lose their tension as he finally relaxed into the kiss.

Just as you were about to deepen the kiss, you felt the familiar surge of black course through your veins, your skin beginning to burn as black veins snaked up your arms and neck.

As the pull towards the creature grew stronger, your lips fell from Jonathan's and you fought the creature for control.

Jonathan gave you a confused look when you pulled away, but he quickly pushed himself away from you when he noticed the inky veins that adorned your skin. "Y/N," he gasped, his eyes wide with panic and fear. You immediately pushed yourself off the couch and rushed towards the door, only for Jonathan to lurch forward and grab your wrist. "Y/N, what the fuck is going on!"

You snapped your gaze to him, feeling that fog slowly take over your mind as you fought to stay awake. "Let me go," you begged. "Please, I don't want to hurt you."

"What?"

"Let me go, Jonathan!"

Your tone startled him, loosening his grip on your wrist just enough for you to slip away from him and out the door before the creature took control.

***

Jonathan began to pace back and forth a few minutes after... Whatever had just happened.

He knew those veins, those pitch black veins that flooded your skin. He saw them when he had to exorcise his own brother, and now another person he cared for so dearly was overtaken by that same creature.

When Will was fighting was controlled by that same creature, though, he didn't seem so... normal. Was it evolving? Learning?

That then made him question if it was even really you. Maybe it had learned your mannerisms, took advantage of the thoughts it had access to.

What if you didn't even want to kiss him, but that thing made you?

He shook the thought from his head. He knew you loved him, that you wanted to be with him. But he also knew that you wouldn't overstep since him and Nancy were still together, even though they had gotten in a fight.

But God, he'd kiss you again in an instant if given the chance.

With a huff, he sat back down on the couch and stared at the two half-eaten pints of ice cream, guilt and worry gnawing at his insides.

He needed to tell Nancy about what happened to you. Just not now.

***

You sat at the landing of the metal warehouse stairs, silently watching Heather patch up Billy's bloodied body as you thought back on what happened just minutes ago.

"The girl, was it her?" Heather asked, gently dabbing a damp cloth over Billy's shoulder.

"Yeah," Billy responded gruffly, his jaw set tight. "It was her. She knows now. She knows about me."

"Jonathan knows too," you voiced silently. "He saw."

He gripped onto Heather's wrist, stopping her actions. "She could've killed me," Billy continued, ignoring your statement.

"Yes. But not us," heather whispered. Silently, she turned to look over the rows of individuals you've sacrificed, people overtaken by the monster.

"Not us," you repeated.

[crabsxdragons]

boyfriend kim mingyu bullet points.

ps. this is my first time writing in a bullet points format, i hope i did it right

food is the center of your relationship (5/9 of the pictures are basically him eating, not at all surprising)

your date always centers around food, whether it’d be lunch dates, dinner dates, snack dates, trying out new restaurants, late night snack dates, convenience store mukbang dates, and even cooking class dates

you would always sit on his right side, him on your left side

you find it so cute that he’s left handed

you would always have to roll up his sleeves during a meal because he gets so excited about food *basically a whole baby

you like watching him stuff food in his mouth, making his cheeks puff up like a hamster

he would pout when you teased him about it

desserts

a must after every date

you find out that both of you follow the motto “there is always room for dessert” during your first date and he immediately knew you were the one for him

again, during dessert, especially if it’s ice cream, you would have to roll up his sleeves, and wipe off the melted ice cream on his fingers, and sometimes lips and cheeks

he would steal licks of your ice cream when you’re not looking

or if he’s feeling experimental, would mix both of your ice cream flavors to create a new flavor

doesn’t always work out that well

speaking of food, cooking is basically a whole other type of date

although you are more on the baking side, you love to help him try out recipes, become his assistant in the kitchen, or simply helping him clean up

you always love what he cooks, especially knowing how much care and love he puts to it

the same thing if you’re baking, mingyu loves your baked goods, from cakes to muffins to desserts to anything basically

sometimes you’d receive a text in the middle of the day of him suggesting you to try out a recipe he found online

and you did try some of them, which made him very happy

with your limited cooking skills, you’d sometimes send him homemade lunch when he has practice, alongside some snacks for the other members cause you can’t forget about them

mingyu would beam in pride when the members praised your chocolate chip cookies, or banana muffins, or fruit cake or when they fought over who gets the last piece of egg tart you made

homemade cake and dinner is a must for special occasions, especially birthdays, you both go out to eat quite a lot so during these special occasions you both like to just stay at home and cook or bake together

mingyu’s birthday cake from year to year always changes depending on his request, from the classic chocolate cake to apple pie to that crepe cake which took hours to make, and even a stack of macarons cause he hinted that he wanted a macarons tower cake *yes you’ve made so many cakes for him, you’ve dated for that long, mingyu is a guy with commitment

food photos, a must, everywhere you eat, every meal you make at home, every successful or failed recipes

and speaking of pictures-he has a separate album on his phone only for your pictures, the selfies you sent him, candid pics he took of you, your pictures together, impromptu photoshoots he made you do when he really likes your outfit

and don’t get started on the videos, he records whenever he can, something for him to see when he misses you, or when you’re asleep but he wants to see you but he kinda doesn’t want to wake you up, also something to laugh at because there are some moments worth laughing at *over and over again, he never gets enough of it

that’s just the photos on his phoneyou can expect the same situation with his camera

the pictures he took are beautiful, and he always tries to capture you in the most natural setting, he absolutely loved taking candid pictures of you, close up shoots that showed the way your eyes lit up at the beach in front of you, or how the wind blows your hair softly

on the rare occasion that you get to be behind the camera instead of him, it’s his turn to be in every picture

sometimes he lets you use his camera, he loved the pictures you took, how you managed to capture everyday life details that others would sometimes miss, he loves nothing more than to see the world through your eyes

moving on to one of the obvious facts here, height difference

the boy is tall, like skyscraper talland you wonder if he would every stop growing taller because it seemed like everytime you see him he gets even taller

“stop it, you’re like a head taller than me”

which does comes with some pretty good perks

like when you can’t reach something from the top shelves, whether it be mugs in the kitchen, books in your favorite book store, that huge bag of chips at the convenience store, also very handy when it comes to changing lightbulbs

“why would you need a ladder when you have me ?”

he’s very smug about, and also lowkey dying from cuteness whenever he gets a reminder of how much shorter you are compared to him, it makes him want to squish you in a hug-

which he always does

hugs. from. mingyu. are. the. best.

just warm and comforting, sometimes he’ll lift you up and spin you around, sometimes he’ll kiss the top of your head, and rub your back, and tuck your head under his chin and you can just melt into his arms

back to the height topic

he likes to steal your books or phone when you were too focused that you’re not giving him enough attention

he would lift it above his head, completely out of your reach even if you tried your best to stand on your tippy toes

would most definitely laugh at your struggle while you give him the death glaresand he would say that you look like an angry bunny or a pissed off golden retriever puppy

which ultimately makes you roll your eyes at himnot to forget, you are also his portable arm rest

likes to mess with you by putting his huge arms on your shoulder, or on your head, purposely messing up your hair

but seriously, mingyu sometimes forgets the fact that he’s a giant and that he could easily crush you, so there were occasions when he would lean on you and you’d lose balance which resulted in both of you on the floor

yes, that happened

moving on

family

the most important thing for him and you

he took you to meet his family after a couple of dates because he’s been telling his mom about you and now she wants to meet you

his mom is very very nice, showing her affection by making you eat more (like how any mom would), also thanking you for taking care of mingyu because according to his mom, he looks so much healthier and happier now

after the first meeting with his family, his mom suddenly became your mom too, especially after mingyu gave her your number

would sometimes call you during lunch time to remind you to eat, ask you how you are doing, in general just the sweetest and loveliest person ever (not much of a surprise since we all know how sweet her son is), you think you might cry because she’s so caring

his mom would also send you kimchi when she has extras

correction, she purposely made more than usual so she can send you some too

which you gratefully accept after thanking her for a million times, then sending her back one of your baked goods

which she loves

and would not stop talking about it because she knows that you can bake but she was not expecting it to be absolutely great

mingyu loves seeing your relationship with his mom, and kinda jealous too because whenever he’s out of town for tour or promotions, you get to hangout with his mom, which he is very jealous about, but also he couldn’t help but smile looking at the pictures that you and his mom took together

but then you started hanging out with his sister too, and now you have a partner to tease him, which he doesn’t approve of because it seemed like his family likes you more than him now

especially since his sister has an ally now, and it’s 2 vs 1 with you and his sister against him

when you were hanging out one day in your place, his mom called you to ask if you’ve eaten yet

“eomma, how can you call y/n but not reply to the text i sent you last night”

you tried so hard to not laugh at his facial expression when his mom teased him by saying that you are her favorite child now

you spent the rest of the day laughing at him whenever he grumbled under his breath “i can’t believe my mom manages to call you, but not reply to her own son’s text message”

the only way to make him stop pouting-

hugs

are we not surprised herethis boy is sometimes so random, like that time when you were eating pasta, and he suddenly wanted to reenact that scene from the movie lady and the tramp

safe to say that you got sauce all over both of your shirts, and well... a few kisses too

his kisses are always so sweet, they’re the type that makes your heart squeeze and your toes curl

he loves to surprise you with light kisses on your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, your hand, your hair, he just couldn’t help it sometimes

mostly they’re innocent, and full of love

unless he’s feeling a bit more passionate, he’ll pull you in for a longer kiss, hands resting on your cheek as his thumb gently brushed your skin, his other hand would either be on your waist, or your back, holding you so close to him

mingyu likes to take it slow, he likes to savor the moment, he doesn’t want it to end, so his lips would move slowly against yours, sometimes he would smile or let out a few giggles, making you giggle too

basically it’s pretty much light and playful with him, but still very meaningful

let’s just say that he always finds the most random times to kiss you, but always when it’s just the two of you, because your relationship isn’t actually something that the public knows

speaking of relationships, only his members, family and managers knows about you, and you both would like to keep it that way for as long as possible

you didn’t mind it at all, since you’re a very much private person yourself, so you have no problem with keeping it on the low

on the rare occasions that you both get to go out for your dates, he would always drive you somewhere a bit further away from the city

or somewhere private, with less to no people, the beach, a rooftop, restaurants that serves tiny servings of food that costs more that your meal weekly (which you didn’t mind, but you reminded mingyu to never spend too much on you)

did he ever listen ? yes, you guessed it right. never.

sometimes both of your schedules meant that you don’t get to see each other for weeks, even with being in the same city

but he’ll make it up to you by taking you away for the weekend, to a small town by the beach where you take long walks along the coastline, and eat dinner with sunsets

you love road trips like this, he’d pick you up, then you would jam out to songs on the way, stop by a rest area for brunch, and bought more snacks to accompany you for the rest of the trip

mingyu knows you love the ocean so much, so he would take you to the beach to watch the sun set, take unlimited amount of photos, pull you in for a hug and smother your face with kisses

then you’d have dinner accompanied by your laughter and conversations about anything

“thank you, for taking me here”

he’s shook his head, “no, this is my thank you, cause you’ve put up with being with someone like me”

his eyes would turn sad as he remembered how rarely you both met because of his schedules, “i’m sorry i’m not the best partner, we barely see each other”

at this, you would hold his hand and made him look at you, “hey, there’s nothing to be sorry about, i’m okay with this, it doesn’t matter if we couldn’t meet for months because that’s your career, your dream, just like i have mine, you have yours too, right ?”

“i know, but i mean- i’ve seen your friends and their partners, you know those boyfriends who would pick them up after class, who’d hold their hand as they walk down the street, take them to movies, not having to hide and be cautious all the time-“

“gyu, what makes you think i cared about those things ? i’m completely fine with having a boyfriend who still makes time to hang out at my place after a long day of practice, someone who sends me good luck videos when he’s halfway around the world living his dreams, someone who trusts me enough to let me be the first one to know about their comebacks and projects-“

and from the way you spoke to him with that shine in your eyes, he couldn’t help but lean closer and pull you in for a short kiss, pausing whatever you have to say

“i love you, thank you for putting up with me”