#(I've been in the process of moving and couldnt bring my old one to answer why i didnt have one 🙃)

[humblepoet26]

There is literally nothing interesting about this photo, I honestly just wanted to show off my comfy new blanket 🤭

[felikatze]

Oh I would like to add something to the discussion that I actually disagree with the whole thing are planned despite how much, I like A abishihs. Since I view the the whole thing more of a desperate attempt head butting the wall until something stick and also at the same time it is more, than just the process imo? Especially when there are multiple instances where A expressed and said himself that the reason he keeps sit back and watch while everyone dies or the reason he does this is also an attempt to understand Carmen's ideal and finding his way out in the situation that he legit trapped himself in?

Even the A at the final days representation of part of A's psych also expressed fear and doubt of continue walking toward the future since they fear that there are no tomorrow for them or the next day will just be another failure. Even Ayin in the end said that he knows that "he" will try to stop himself since "he" believe that tomorrow will never come but due to the journey throughout lobcorp a him that wasnt exactly like, any of the him before (being the manager X) but also him gain the courage and resolve to move forward due to the conviction and trust he gained from the Sephirah and the will to properly face the past, only then he can move on and the Seed of Light can be realized and the bad endings are the things that existed when the manager (A himself) fail to realize those things (on another hand cognitive filter is legit something that representing the development of his psych from being unable to face the truth to finally be able to view the Sephirah for who they are after he faces them in their suppression, via netzach saying "it is not us who can finally see clearly it you"). It wouldnt make sense if everything is orchestrated since imo if A can already immediately realized those thing on his own and if he doesnt have a slight of self doubt to the point he literally erased his own identity to become someone else different and hope this person will be able to find the answer he couldnt find lob would end in day 1 I think.

I think when you take it as the journey being dependent on A finally gain the will to walk pass his trauma and guilt and finally freeing everyone he has trapped inside lobcorp himself included, 10,000 years to allow yourself to process all of those and to be able to accept your old self again after has been living as another person for ages it I guess, makes sense lol. And A cannot quit midway since he is already in too deep and without this specific goal I legit think he would just give up on living (i.e Angela at some point saying that the promise he made with Carmen is what keeps him alive but at the same time the world that doesnt have her stops having meaning, A during the cycle already showing suicide tendency that the only thing keeps him from going is that "Oh fuck I gotta finish Carmen goal and repay for all the shit I have done" until it doesn't)

oh i recognize that cadence of grammar, hiya! nice to see ya again!

yeah, i get that! It's why i don't buy into the script being a "complete" thing. it very much is headbutting the wall until something works, as you said. we don't know how in detail the script is exactly, besides the broad strokes being included. to write yourself an ending like that in advance, you need to have the belief that you can heal, which Ayin might have but. Gestures back to the point that pre lobcorp post carmen ayin is doing incredibly bad.

bringing up the memory wipe, absolutely! i've said in my Ayin manifesto "A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much." (i feel sort of pretentious quoting myself, but hey, why not).

If we presume the script dictates everything, (which it doesn't since we see angela trying to hammer it into shape in lor flashbacks) there's a duality to A, wherein he knows he is incapable of fulfilling the script, but believes a different version of him can. "him that wasnt exactly like, any of the him before" as you said. It's a lot of introspection he might not have been capable of?

Then again, recognizing your problems and actually getting past them are entirely different problems, so i don't think the point of "if A can already immediately realized those thing on his own" is entirely fair. God knows I'm mentally ill enough to attest to that. You can very much know exactly what your issues are and where they come from, and still be unable to handle it. It's possible he deliberately set up a situation where he could heal, even if it involves wiping his memory so he can dissect his grief and deal with it one thing at a time. The whole thing abt the timetrack stuff again complicates the motivation of the script, since the nature of spending ten thousand years is. a pretty desparate move! yeah!

(the conclusion is once again, god that man was not doing good. he was doing so bad. mental rock bottom. saying carmen's will was his reason to keep on living is not an exaggeration at all. you're completely right on that one)

i wanted to make another paragraph but i forgot what i wanted to say. uhhhhhhhhhhh. hmmmm. now i remember!

carmen as his reason to go on probably also fed into his determination! since he had nothing left to lose, basically. X was doomed before the game even began. He's in too deep, as you said! Passed the point of no return. a very long time ago. a very very long time ago. Carmen's death was the point of no return, basically.

Ending B nicely shows how, as you said, without this goal of Carmen's will he'd just give up. The ending is basically him finding that his goal is out of reach, and just giving up.

The conclusion of all A discussion: this guy is so depressed. dear god.