#(I don't want sleep but i'm getting tested for ADHD tomorrow so at least 8 hours is good)

[popcorn-plots]

Wong never liked the labels. He just was. When asked his pronouns (now more than ever in the ever-changing world), he would simply reply, "he/they." No one questioned it. No one asked why.

Then a long came Stephen Strange. Stephen Strange, who didn't fit into any one box but had been told his entire life that boxes were the only thing he could fit into. Stephen Strange, who cried when someone called him 'sir' on certain days but didn't know why. Stephen Strange who liked to wear pretty dresses and fancy suits and sweatpants. Stephen Strange who was everything Wong wasn't, and somehow everything Wong wanted.

It was no surprise when Wong fell hard and he fell fast. Utterly smitten with Stephen Strange, the obnoxious American with a heart of gold, who was soon his boyfriend. And who was sometimes his girlfriend, sometimes just his partner, and sometimes nothing at all.

screaming, crying, throwing up I have to be up early tomorrow but g u y s

i will write this and already it's the most validated think ever

[altheterrible]

Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. I don't have any plans. I do have a doctor's appointment with my primary, and therapy, but beyond that I don't have a lot going on.

My blood sugars have been running Really Fucking High, which makes me think I have some underlying infection. I feel fine, at least as fine as I ever do. Still fatigued, short of breath, headaches. If I had pneumonia in my paralyzed lung, I wouldn't notice it, so that's one possibility. Asymptomatic UTI is another option. My appointment tomorrow is telehealth so I can't get any useful labs done. I want to ask about a sleep test and new PFTs though.

Oh wait, I started on a tiny, baby dose of olanzapine, so that could also be causing blood sugar issues. Olanzapine is one of the worse antipsychotics for metabolic effects, AND it's making me want to eat everything in sight which isn't helping.

Speaking of olanzapine, my new psych is a hot mess. I've been trying to get a prior authorization for my new ADHD meds and her office told me it would be 3-4 weeks? I know for a fact a prior authorization can be done in 2 days, so I hate it when people bullshit me. That said, I also hate pulling out the "I used to be a retail pharmacist and I know you're full of shit" card because then people wonder why I'm no longer a retail pharmacist and am, in fact, on Medicaid.

I have an iron supplement I'm supposed to be taking but it upsets my stomach so idk. I don't know if my fatigue is anemia or depression honestly. And then I don't know if the depression is MDD, SAD, or understimulated ADHD. I go to bed at 8 every night because I'm sick of being awake. I suppose it's no wonder I can't fucking sleep.

Meds that have helped me sleep consistently and don't cause daytime sleepiness: klonopin, temazepam, gabapentin

Meds that have helped me sleep sporadically, have significant side effects, and cause daytime drowsiness: trazodone, diphenhydramine, hydroxyzine

Guess which ones I can get a prescription for? Lol.

Which reminds me, I read an article about antidepressants for pain that I want to talk about. But not right now.