#(Daisuke's took place AT END Daisukes arc was LAST To Wrap It Up)

[twobit-anime-trash]

Painting Outside the Lines | D.N Angel Ficlet

Pairing: Satodai (Satoshi/Daisuke)

Summary: Post-curse, after the dust settles, the boys try their hands at making 'bad art' by badly imitating Jackson Pollock. Fluff and angst and tenderness and hilarity ensues. Or: I don't make the rules of 90's rom coms, I just work here

Warnings: Mention of scars, very minor contextless spoiler for the end of the manga, minor angst, mostly fluff

Here on Ao3

“Jackson Pollock was an American expressionist painter, active from the mid 1930’s to 1955.”

In the depths of the Niwa family’s infamous basement, a room had been cleared out. Covering most of the grey stone floor was an enormous fifteen by eight foot canvas, pinned down haphazardly by open cans of house paint and scattered brushes and sticks.

Daisuke fiddled with a thick dowel rod, eyes following Satoshi as he paced the edges of the canvas, confidently educating his only pupil on the artist whose work they’d be bastardising today. Oh the lectures he’d get about the “damn Hikari walking around like he owned the place” if his mother saw this. Daisuke shook his head and tuned back in to the speech.

“-of course most famous for his iconic ‘drip paintings’, a style that came to define the-“

It had taken them a long time to get to this point, for Satoshi to be ready to paint again. The desire was still there, had always been there, but it had been tamped down for so long, held down with so much fear, it was very hard to let it loose. The handful of times he’d allowed himself to paint outside of his training, the work was always constrained. Limited to imitation, re-creation, or locked down in the traditional Hikari style: realistic, overly ornate, cold.

“-rejected traditional material’s and instead use alkyd enamels, better known as commercial household paints, and tools such as hardened brushes, sticks, and basting syringes to-“

This was something Satoshi had been toying with for a long time, ever since the day Daisuke carried him to the Niwa home, and he caught sight of the messy vent painting Daisuke had made while he worked through his frustration. Art had never actually been available to Satoshi as a tool for self-expression before. After the dust had settled, he’d confided in Daisuke that it was something he’d like to try. To not feel the pressure of his family legacy pushing down on him every time he picked up a brush, to let go and not care about what the end result looked like.

“-instead of limiting himself to merely using his hand and wrist, Pollock used his entire body dynamically to create his pieces-“

Daisuke was trying to pay attention, really he was! But watching Satoshi stride about so self-assuredly, gesturing with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, not at all insecure about his scars, well, it made that difficult! His heart was racing with pride; Satoshi had fought so hard and come so far. Half of Daisuke wanted to cut the lecture short and tackle him to the floor right then.

“-actually Pollock himself described his paintings as not relying on accident at all, but rather as a balance of controllable and uncontrollable-”

It also didn’t help that confidence looked really, really good on Satoshi. Daisuke felt his face heat up. Oh what would Dark say to him now? A little bubble of sadness welled up in his chest at that thought, but he pushed it aside for the moment. This wasn’t about their families, or legacies, or the curse; this was about them. They were going to have fun today, doing something that would have their ancestors all rolling in their graves: making art together.

“Are you listening, Daisuke?”

Busted. “Ah well……”

Satoshi shook his head with a put upon sigh, and put a hand on his hip. “Well, I suppose it’s not too important. After all, the rules don’t matter here today,” His lips quirked into the slightest suggestion of a smile.

“Color theory?” Daisuke asked playfully, dipping his dowel rod into a can of lime green paint, “Never heard of it!”

“Indeed,” Satoshi nodded, choosing a burnt orange color for his start. He dipped a stiffened brush into the paint, but paused before he could draw it out. Daisuke held his breath for a moment as he watched Satoshi take a deep breath, and square his shoulders.

“Well,” he said, finally raising the brush, “shall we get started?”

Daisuke beamed at him, “Only if you do the honors!”

Satoshi slowly raised the brush, letting globs of burnt orange hit the canvas in thick drops, then gently flicked his wrist, sending a streak of paint splattering against the canvas.

“Yeah!” Daisuke cheered, flinging his paint stick out and sending another stripe of paint down to join the lone splatter.

Satoshi graced him with an amused grin and flushed cheeks, “Go on, and have at it.” Daisuke was only too happy to oblige.

It took a bit of warming up to get over the awkwardness of the movement, but soon they got into a rhythm. Working his way back and forth, and round and round, Daisuke sampled the many garish colors on offer, dripping, flinging, and splashing them around the canvas quickly and slowly, changing his tempo whenever the mood struck him. Soon he became absorbed in the strange dance of it, smiling and laughing as he lobbed strings of paint harder and harder to hit the center of the canvas. So absorbed even, that he forgot to keep an eye out for his painting companion until-

“Niwa”

“Yeah?” Daisuke said, looking up, “What’s up Hiw- OH!” His sentence cut off in a squeak. From across the room, Satoshi was giving him his patented deadpan, the effectiveness of which was somewhat undercut by the large hot pink splatter of paint that streaked up his arm. Some had even managed to hit his face and glasses.

“Oh my god! I’m so, so, so, sorry Satoshi!” Daisuke sputtered, dropping the paint stick and waving his hands frantically. “I got caught up in it, I wasn’t paying attention, I didn’t mean to get paint on you! M-maybe if we go upstairs and wash it right now-”

“It’s fine Daisuke,” Satoshi cut him off with a wave of his hand, “When you’re doing this kind of work, you don’t wear clothes that you would mind getting a bit messy,” he flicked his arm, sending a few droplets of paint flying down to the canvas where they were supposed to be. “Just be careful.”

Daisuke’s face burned. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “Of course Satoshi, I’ll be more careful! I promise!”

Embarrassed, he drifted towards the edge of the painting, further away from his partner. Of course he’d managed to make a fool of himself in front of Satoshi, as usual. Stupid! He angled his body away from the other boy, and decided to stick to carefully dripping paint instead of flinging it for a while.

His resolve lasted for a few minutes, until something cold and wet suddenly splashed across his back, and Daisuke jumped, his head whipping around instinctively looking for the source of the attack.

Across the canvas from him, Satoshi’s expression hadn’t changed, even though he had a very incriminating dripping-wet brush clutched in his hand.

“Oops. Sorry, Niwa-kun,” he said flatly.

Daisuke’s brain stuttered for a moment. Had Satoshi just….he cocked his head, looking closer. Sure enough, there was the slightest ghost of a smile in the corner of Satoshi’s mouth, and he would swear he saw laughter in his eyes. Oh. So that’s how it was, huh?

Daisuke waved the ‘apology’ off cheerfully, but behind his smile he was scheming. Game on, Satoshi!

Years of training kicked in as he stalked around the canvas, keeping his body language casual as he waited for an opening. When he had to turn his eyes away, his sharp ears listened for his target’s footsteps amongst the sound of paint hitting the canvas. Finally he found the opening he’d been searching for, and struck.

Satoshi started, but this time didn’t call attention to the ‘accident’. Instead he just kept dripping paint with his back to the other boy. Daisuke looped around the painting again, carefully casual, turning and twisting with his paint trail. His back had only been turned for a few seconds when he realized the sound of footsteps had disappeared. Splat! Another direct hit to his back. Daisuke whipped around, but Satoshi still had his back to him, dripping paint in a wide arc at the other end of the canvas.

So he definitely hadn’t lost his touch either! Daisuke smirked. Their little game of cat and mouse continued for a few minutes, the opponents exchanging carefully calculated blows one after the other. And then a wicked idea suddenly sprung to Daisuke’s mind. He quickly picked up a stray brush, dipped it in the nearest paint can, and tucked in into his back pocket. His pants would be destroyed, but if his tactic worked…he bided his time, waiting for Satoshi to strike again.

This time, when a volley of paint hit his side, he turned to the other boy and laughed, dropping the paint stick in his hand and throwing his arms up in surrender. ‘Ok, ok,” he chuckled, making his way around the painting to Satoshi’s side, “you got me!” He moved his arm as if to wrap it around the boy’s shoulder, but with nimble fingers at the last moment, snatched the paintbrush from his pocket and smooshed it right into Satoshi’s hair.

Who froze for a moment, eyes wide with surprise. And then his lips curled into a smirk as he let out a huff of a laugh.

“Oh, it is on now Niwa!”

It devolved from there into all out warfare. The basement witnessed a battle like no other as paint flew everywhere, splattering against the walls, floors, even the ceiling! Screams and laughter echoed down the halls as two boys chased each other around and around like the children they were, leaping, and slipping, and crashing into each other in a cacophony of sound and color.

Eventually even the former Phantom Thief host ran out of stamina, and the paint stopped flying, as the two soaking wet combatants stopped on either side of their painting to catch their breath.

“Well I’d say that experiment was a success!” Daisuke exclaimed, as soon as he had the wind for it. Indeed, their canvas had managed to catch some of the paint, even though the process had involved some acrobatic moves that he was pretty sure that Pollock had never used.

“I’m pretty sure most of the paint ended up on us,” Satoshi said dryly, wiping some paint from his brow and gesturing to the canvas, “But I digress. There you have it, the first collaborative artwork in existence created by both a Hikari and a Niwa. What do you think?”

Daisuke backed up a few paces to examine their handiwork. It was a mess, well and truly, streaks of garish, oversaturated colors clashing wildly against each other and mixing muddily in splotches. Smeared handprints and two different sets of shoe treads littered the edges of the canvas. There was a large smudged blotch in the bottom left corner where two bodies had hit the wet paint and tussled.

“It’s awful, I love it!”

Satoshi looked down at it with a critical eye, leaning over and spotting a clean patch of canvas that had somehow miraculously avoided getting splattered.

“It’s missing something,” he said cryptically, and beckoned to Daisuke with a crook of his finger. Daisuke trotted over, curious, as Satoshi brushed a thin layer of light colored paint on his palm and pressed it to the empty space for a few seconds. He fanned one hand over the wet paint, and wordlessly handed Daisuke a paintbrush dripping with a darker paint with the other. Daisuke followed his lead, coating his own palm with paint as well.

“Here, put your hand down right there” Satoshi directed, “That’s it.”

Daisuke pulled his hand back, and looked down. Before his eyes were two handprints, layered as if two hands were pressed against the canvas together. His breath caught.

“There. Though it’s a bit corny, I suppose….” Satoshi said, his tone carefully bland, and glanced away.

Daisuke didn’t think. He reached out with his hand still tacky with drying paint, turned Satoshi’s head back, and kissed him softly. The lips against his stayed still for a moment, before gently returning the kiss.

After a moment, Daisuke pulled back and stroked the other boy’s cheek with his thumb, smearing the dark paint even worse.

“I changed my mind, it’s a good painting.”

Satoshi looked at him, blinking as if to clear the stars from his eyes, after all this time still awestruck by the affection. And then he smiled so softly that Daisuke couldn’t help but kiss him again. And again.

Later, when they came up from the basement to clean up for dinner, if Kosuke noticed the suspicious amount of paint handprints all over the two boys’ skin and clothes, well, he kept it to himself.

-

A/N: So remeber in the manga when Satoshi passed out at school and Daisuke took him home and Satoshi sees Daisuke's vent painting where its a total mess of feeling on the canvas and Satoshi says he likes it and that he could never paint something like that. NOW YOU CAN BABY, NOW YOU CAN! Now you don't have to hold yourself back and keep yourself in a cold little canvas frame, you can pour your feelings into it and it doesn't have to be perfect or even good it just has to FEEL-

SUGASAKI LET ME SEE THAT CANON FOR A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE JUST LET ME SE-

Anyway...been chatting a lot with Luanna about the boy's post-canon lives, and basically them reclaiming their lives and childhoods. One thing I really want for Satoshi is for him to be able to make quote unquote """bad art""", meaning that I want Satoshi to be able to explore his own style without fear of failure, to experiment and try things that might not work, to make kitschy or weird or ugly art. Like, the boy has been cut off from expressing himself in any way for so long, let him explore self-expression through art! And its Satodai this time because Satodai was like, the og ship for me and I need it.

Also, two fics in a month??? I haven't posted two fics in a year since 2016 wtf. As always, comments and critiques appreciated!

[satorisa]

Lift the Veil - Chapter 14:  Thnks fr th Mmrs

Rating: T

Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?

Alternate links for reading available in my description! (Except for on ff.net rn since I’m having technical difficulties uploading it onto there.)

What better way to ring in the new year than with yet another Lift the Veil chapter! Here’s to (almost) new beginnings for our two main characters.

We are one, I repeat, one chapter away from the next arc of this story! So stay tuned for the tonal shift this story will take once we get there!

Happy readings, ya’ll!

Chapter 14 – Thnks fr th Mmrs

And I want these words to make things right, but it’s the wrongs that make the words come to life.

Alone. In my apartment. With way too much food for me to finish without puking it all up, too much alcohol for me to be around in such an emotionally precarious state, and an overwhelming understanding that I shouldn’t be in this situation any longer than I need to be.

I called Ritsuko first, half hoping she would pick up and half hoping she wouldn’t. She answered after the second ring.

“Hey, Risa! I thought you were busy with Riku and Daisuke’s return.”

“I was.”

“Your ‘was’ is worrying me.”

I take a deep breath. “Can you come by? Please.”

“Yeah! Yeah—let me just finish up something first, and I’ll head over as soon as I can. Can you hang in there until then?”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay, Risa, now you’re really worrying me.” I heard movement from her line. “Do you need me to bring you anything?”

“Just empty Tupperware. Please take home some of the food I have here.”

“Gotcha. Just wait for me, alright?”

“Alrighty. Thank you.”

“Always, hun.”

We hung up, and I stared at my phone. Ritsuko would be enough, right? I scrolled through my contacts until I saw Takeshi’s name. Did I need him over? Could he even be over? And what about Akane? Would she—

ACHOO.

The sneeze cut my deliberations short as I accidentally pressed the button to call him. And, after my round of sneezes ended, I heard a faint voice blessing me from my phone. I brought it to my ear, realizing it’d be too late to hang up now.

“Hey, Boss, are you feeling alright?” he asked with genuine concern.

The words rolled around in my head, like bingo balls bouncing around in their cage. I could say yes, effectively putting an end to this conversation and just dump everything onto Ritsuko. Takeshi would tease me for days about this call, but—

“No. I’m not.”

There was silence until I heard a muffled voice that sounded too high to belong to Takeshi. Akane?

“Akane’s asking if you need anything.”

“Just bring some empty containers. I have too much food here. ”

“Awesome!” I hear noise muffling the line.  “I’ll be on my way soon.”

“You don’t—”

“Nope. Nu-uh. I don’t want to hear it, Risa. I’m going to be over soon, and there’s nothing you can do about it, okay?”

“…okay.”

“Okay? Good. I’ll see you in a bit.”

He hung up, and I looked at my phone resting in my lap. Ritsuko and Takeshi were heading to my apartment to comfort me after Riku blew up because she found out about Satoshi. In other words, the world was going to explode in my face, and there was nothing I could do about it.

If I could help it, I wouldn’t tell them, but the secret was out. Knowing Riku, she’d intentionally blab about it until she finally came to terms with it. Which probably won’t be until after she’s razed Azumano to cinders. Besides, I’d rather they hear this from me than her. Better from the primary source, after all.

Dammit, Kazama. I really didn’t want to cross this bridge this soon. (Hopefully, this won’t bring that ugly mug of his back to Azumano again, either.)

Some time had passed as I sat there, unmoving, unable to process anything, slowly decaying with each breath I took until I heard them. They didn’t need to ring my doorbell. Ritsuko and Takeshi’s angry voices carried through the walls of my living room.

I sighed before getting up to open the door. And, sure enough, I peeked out into the hallway to see them a couple of units down. I glared.

“You guys better get in here before I throw out all my food.”

“This is your fault, Fukuda!” Takeshi screamed.

“My fault? Let me remind you that—”

I closed my door, mentally readying myself for any potential noise complaints as I returned to my spot on the sofa. When I heard them finally knock on my door, preluded by sweet silence, I let them in.

“Friendly reminder that I do have neighbors so please, for the love of God, keep it down. Thank you!”

“Yes ma’am!”

Ritsuko, still having not seen my place, gave herself a tour while Takeshi stood by the food, silently deliberating on what he’d take back with him.

“Sorry I couldn’t help you move in!” Ritsuko called from my bedroom.

“No worries! How was your business trip to Sapporo?”

“Honestly? I’d rather have suffered at the hands of moving stress than what I dealt with there.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

Ritsuko eventually finished and closed my bedroom door behind her. She sat on the sofa, and Takeshi joined her on the opposite end. They looked up at me, expecting and scrutinizing, and I sat down in the space between them to keep them from fighting.

I felt my arms start to shake once I realized that there was no turning back once from this.

“So, what’s up?” Ritsuko asked.

“Just…give me a bit.”

She nodded as I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. They didn’t really help though; they were only delaying the inevitable.

 I took one last deep breath.

“���I was Hiwatari’s friend with benefits in high school. And he ghosted me a month before we graduated.”

They balked. Ritsuko quickly regained her composure, but Takeshi just looked like the world had suddenly turned upside down.

“I know we all had our suspicions, but…” Ritsuko couldn’t continue.

“Holy shit. Holy shit.” Takeshi paused. “This is what you were keeping from us? I knew it was bad because Satoshi was somehow always very specific yet very vague but—oh my god.”

“Who else knows?” Ritsuko asked.

“Some of the adults managed to piece it together, and I thought that Hiwatari-san kept it to himself like me…until he told me that Daisuke found out.”

Ritsuko looked at me in horror. “Oh no.”

“So guess who told Riku while being drunk out of their mind on their trip to Zurich?”

“No.”

“Yup.”

Takeshi groaned. “Daisuke, buddy, I love you, but how the hell could you pull a Satoshi with the last person on Earth you should’ve blabbed it to?”

“’Pull a Satoshi?’ What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Fukuda, I don’t know if you’ve had the—ah—displeasure of drinking with Satoshi, so let’s just say that he has no filter when he’s gone. One time, he said…er…”

“’Er?’” Ritsuko repeated.

Takeshi looked at me. “I don’t know if I can share this.”

“After Risa’s statement? You could literally tell me the world is ending tomorrow, and it would still pale in comparison.”

Takeshi bit his lip. “Well, since it involved Risa, I suppose I can. Just brace yourself. Please.” He then directed his attention towards Ritsuko. “You didn’t hear this from me, Fukuda.”

“Just. Spit. It. Out.”

“Risa, um, I don’t know if he told you this already, but he was practically in love with you in high school.”

Ritsuko gasped. “What?”

“Oh, I know. He told me in Vienna.”

“What?”

Ritsuko looked so distraught compared to Takeshi, but he was probably only taking this marginally better because he knew more about the situation. And since I already had enough time for me to decently process everything, I was faring the best out of the three of us. How funny that the ones I called to keep me company while I was distressed are the ones left even more distressed by the situation.

“Okay, okay,” Ritsuko said. “I understand why you didn’t tell us about it, but I don’t understand how or why this happened.”

“Fukuda, get with the program here!”  I felt her glare, directed at Takeshi, pierce through me. “There was nothing to be done here.”

“Bull. Shit.” I winced. “They both loved each other; therefore, they cared about each other. If they really cared enough, then they probably wouldn’t have ended up in this mess in the first place.”

“That was their problem: caring about each other.”

Being stuck in the middle of this felt like the personification of what was once my mental state. Their increasing volume, directed at my eardrums, really wasn’t making this any more pleasant than when it was contained in my mind.

“They would’ve found some way to talk it out then. What, did they not trust each other or something?”

“Bingo.”

Ritsuko stopped arguing, and an expression of bemusement erased the frustration from earlier.

“Risa, explain.”

“I…don’t think it’s my right to explain. Well, not for him anyway. Maybe ask Takeshi later if you’re so curious. Or ask Hiwatari out for coffee sometime and get it from the man himself.” I forced a laugh. “Trusting people is hard when you’ve gone through stuff, you know?”

Understanding what I was implying, Ritsuko nodded. I saw tears bead at the corner of her eyes, and she excused herself to my bathroom, leaving me and Takeshi left on the sofa.

“How’re you holding up?” I asked him.

“I honestly don’t know how I’m still keeping it together right now,” Takeshi hollowly laughed. “I know more about it than most people, but I’m still in shock about it. I get why it happened, but like, Satoshi’s the most logical person I know, so it’s just difficult for me to wrap my head around how he could let this train wreck occur.” He sighed. “God, considering how awful I’m feeling now, I can’t even begin to fathom how you two must’ve felt about the whole thing.”

“You can empathize?” I joked, if only to relieve the tension in the room.

“Boss, why do you gotta be like this now? I’m trying not to cry here!”

“Don’t you dare shed any of your tears in front of me.”

He retreated into my bedroom. Moments later, Ritsuko sat down next to me with puffy eyes and a red nose. She offered me a weak smile.

“If anyone should be crying, it should be me,” I said.

“Oh, can it. You want to cry, but you can’t, so you’re making all of us get dehydrated for you.”

“Crap! You’ve foiled my evil plan!”

Ritsuko laughed, and I smiled. Honestly, I was too numb to feel much of anything. Just having Riku find out the last thing I ever wanted to know about and barreling into my apartment with murderous intent was traumatic enough to shock the emotions out of me.

“Honestly though, I was so scared to tell anyone, especially you guys. What if you said that I couldn’t feel the way that I felt because I needed to be mindful of what Hiwatari-san when through? Or took sides, whether mine or his? I couldn’t deal with that.”

“Like Riku?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I get where she’s coming from. Even though I’m understanding of the situation, that doesn’t mean I’m not angry. There’s a lot going on here, and a lot I don’t understand, but I can see why you didn’t tell anyone back then, right? They’d tell you to cut him off, unaware of the baggage you two carry, and it would’ve just made you feel even worse about the situation, right?”

I nodded.

“Well, Saehara and I are adults who aren’t your family. And we’re also his friend. What you’ve said here won’t change anything regarding our relationship with him. Likewise, what he says about you when I ask him about it won’t change the fact that you’re an amazing person that I’m proud to call one of my best friends.”

“Ritsuko!” I pulled her into a hug that she returned.

“After everything that happened, this is what makes you tear up? God, you’re hopeless!”

I laughed, wiping my tears away as I let her go. Takeshi returned, looking like he had taken a trip through the seven layers of hell, but he grinned before sitting back down on the sofa.

We spent the evening digging into some of the food while watching a movie since I had done more than enough talking. And once they left, bags filled with Tupperware and wine, I retreated to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed.

I turned to the music box sitting on the nightstand, winding it up before floating away to dreamland.

…

I woke up the next morning, before my alarm clock would shock me awake or the sun would burn the inside of my eyelids, to my phone ringing. Most people wouldn’t think to bother anyone at this time but, cracking an eye open to look at the caller ID, he wasn’t most people.

“What?” I croaked, irritated that he needed me for whatever reason that warranted a call at this time of day.

“Good morning to you, too.” I could hear the smile in his voice. Damn bastard was enjoying this. “How are you faring from last night?”

“What do you mean?”

“Leaving you alone with all those bottles of wine after what happened yesterday? It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together; you’re probably hungover.”

“I am a perfectly functional human being who has other coping mechanisms besides drowning myself in alcohol.”

“Past experiences say otherwise.”

“I didn’t drink at all last night; I have Takeshi, and Ritsuko as my witnesses.”

Hiwatari fell silent on the other end of the line while I stretched awake, putting my phone on speaker as I got up. While I was making my bed, Hiwatari spoke up.

“So they know now.”

“I’d rather they didn’t hear from Riku, so I told them first. Sorry to tell them so soon.”

“It’s fine.” He paused. “Should I be expecting attempts on my life now?”

“Nope. They took it well, surprisingly. They might give you a hard time because of it, but no one wants you dead. I think.”

After smoothing out my sheets, I admired my handiwork before grabbing my phone and heading to the kitchen for some breakfast. “Anyways, why’d you call?”

“Partly to check up on you in case you were hungover, but I was wondering if you’d be okay with me walking you to the news station today.”

“…really? You called me this early in the morning for that?”

“I’d rather not be greeted by your choice designer handbag of the day in my face.”

“Who said I’m still not going to do that?”

“Damn. I thought this would lessen my chances.” I could hear the lilt in his voice, and I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing okay though.”

“I’m about as okay as I’m going to be considering. Thank you for your concern, though.”

“It’s no problem. And could you also open your door, please? This bag is quite heavy, and it might become a problem for me if I keep standing here holding it.”

My usual alarm rang and, startled, I frenzied over to my front door. I swung it open to see Hiwatari standing there, convenience store bag in hand, with unveiled derision on his face.

“…actually, seeing you fresh from bed might be a greeting worse than a purse smashing my face. Tokyo has not been kind to your skin.”

“Get inside before I smash your face with that bag in your hands.”

…

“So, how’s the engaged couple?” Takeshi asked before unceremoniously slurping his noodles and splashing some of his broth onto shirt as if he didn’t just ask a loaded question. He couldn’t be this obtuse considering what just happened.

“Why don’t you ask Daisuke yourself?” Hiwatari asked.

“After what happened when they got back? I’d rather not deal with Beauty and the Beast.”

“And you thought we would have the answer to your question?”

“Maybe not the Boss, but I’m sure you’ve got something, Chief. Gimme the deets.”

“Riku’s out for my head; Daisuke’s trying to protect it: the usual. I have nothing else to report.”

Takeshi groaned. “Useless! It’s like you want me to die in the lion’s den.”

“I’m sure an unsuspecting fly like you will survive just fine.”             

And with that, Hiwatari started eating his noodles, effectively direction his attention away from Takeshi and cleanly cutting that conversation short. Thus, I was the next victim of his poor attempt at small talk. “So, Boss, how’s the ramen?”

“Beautiful,” I answered, eyes trained on the wisps of steam coming from my untouched ramen. I noted the sheen of the broth on the noodles peeking out, following the fat bubbles gently floating amongst the green onions.

“Er, that’s not—”

My phone rang, and I looked at my phone to see a text from Riku asking to meet up for dinner later. Considering what had just happened, I didn’t think it would go well, but this was my sister. As hesitant and terrified I was, I wanted to put this behind us as quickly as possible.

“Whozzat?” Takeshi asked when I put my phone down after sending out my reply. He slurped down yet another ungodly amount of noodles, and I tried to conceal my disgust.

Akane scored in the relationship department. Truly.

“Riku. She asked to meet up with her later, so that’s what I’ll be doing instead of enjoying the comforts of my bed.”

Takeshi whistled, shaking his head, before returning to his bowl. “Don’t die, Boss.”

“I’ll try not to; no guarantees.”

I then decided to dig into my bowl, truly savoring my first bite. May this feeling prevail during dinner.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Hiwatari asked, voice laced with concern.

“Yeah. What could possibly go wrong?”

Takeshi and Hiwatari looked up from their bowls with their eyebrows raised. Hiwatari’s skeptical expression, paired with Takeshi’s eyes that begged me to rethink my words, helped me realize that I was only fooling myself. My sister was a human, but she was a Harada. And, considering that we have practically the same blood, I knew the insanity that could arise from it.

No doubt, were this situation reversed, I wouldn’t have stopped until I had the head of whomever hurt my sister roasted on a spit.

“Okay. Fine. Everything can and probably will go wrong.”

“It was nice knowing ya, Boss.”

“Let’s relish in our last meal together before your premature death.”

“Oh, go f—”

“Irasshai!”

…

“God speed!” Takeshi saluted. I returned the gesture.

“We’re here for you if you need us later,” Hiwatari assured.

“Hopefully, I’ll be fine. And I’ll just bother Ritsuko if I need someone. You guys have done more than enough by walking me here.”

“What’re friends for? We gotta see you before you march to your death!” Takeshi chirped.

“Really?”

“Boss, your sister is terrifying.”

“Don’t mind him,” Hiwatari said. “Good luck.”

I nodded, waving goodbye to them as they walked away. And once they started talking to each other a considerable distance away, I took a deep breath before walking in. This was Riku’s favorite place to grab sushi, and I saw her standing by the hostess’ stand, a couple of minutes earlier than what we had planned, as she nervously toyed with a stray thread on her blouse. She noticed me and smiled before turning to the hostess, who greeted us with a blinding smile, as she led us to a booth with two menus in her hand.

Why the booth of all places? The bar was ideal: I wouldn’t have to face Riku, I could occupy myself by staring at the chef, focus on anything and everything but—

“Can I have a beer and a highball?” Riku ordered once our waiter came by. He then turned to me, expecting, just like the sister that sat across from me.

“Just some green tea, please.”

The water nodded, heading off to grab our drink and attend to the other patrons, leaving me to watch Riku flip through the menu. (She didn’t need to. Her staple was the combo of maki rolls.)

“Do you know what you want to eat?” she calmly asked me as if she wasn’t radiating anger and didn’t just order alcohol.

I was not making it out alive.

“Um, I’ll just have some ebi and tamago nigari.”

“You usually order something extravagant. Don’t be shy; it’s my treat.”

It’s precisely because this is your treat which is why I’m being shy. As susceptible as I am to free food, this was a gift horse I needed to burn. “It’s okay. I had ramen, and I’m still kind of full.”

“Huh,” she hollowly said. “Didn’t think your appetite could ever be quenched.”

And the crocodile snaps!

Before she prematurely exploded, the waiter returned to our table with our drinks. Riku ordered for us before the waiter headed off. I moved my drink closer to me, unable to enjoy the warmth in my hands as she downed her beer. I expected her to polish off that highball, but she called a waiter passing by, asking him to for a gin and tonic. Once he left, she grabbed her other drink that she finished in seconds before slamming the glass on the table and staring straight into my eyes.

In any other situation, this would’ve been a great time to ask what college shenanigans Riku got herself into considering what she did took skill, and we could laugh about all the ill-timed hangovers and nostalgia over a nice sushi dinner. This was me trying to imagine this as anything but what it actually was: terrifying.

“Honestly, Risa, what the hell were you thinking getting involved with Satoshi like that?” she asked, more disappointed than angry. “You should’ve known that was a bad idea.”

“Yes because I was able to rationalize while I was sick with the flu and the guy I thought would never love me kissed me.”

She groaned, reaching for her drinks. And when she found them both empty, she groaned again before slamming the empty glass on the table. Again. “If I wasn’t drinking right now, I wouldn’t be able to stomach your bullshit excuses.”

“Yeah, you’re right. All I’ve really got are bullshit excuses for what happened.” I paused our conversation when our water returned, drink in hand, as he placed it in front of Riku. I flinched as she reached out for it, scared she would down it again, but she merely took a sip. She looked at me when she finished, expecting me to elaborate. “I took the opportunity because I knew Hiwatari would—could—never accept my affections.”

“Do you know why he stopped talking to you and tried to erase you from his existence?”

“Did you know about it before Daisuke told you?”

“Not the specifics, but like everyone else, we knew something happened between you two back then. I thought the six years apart would’ve smoothed it out since you tend to over-exaggerate everything but—god. I didn’t think it was this bad.” She sighed before having another sip of her drink. “Are you guys stupid enough to think that getting closer would fix this?”

I shrugged. “Apparently.”

“You two are insane.”

“Just like what you’re being right now.”

She glared at me with a red face as the alcohol settled into her system. “I have every right to after hearing everything from Daisuke. Do you need me to—?”

“I know, Riku. Hiwatari-san told me himself.”

The rage in her expression fizzled out as she stared at me with wide eyes. Was this the ammunition she was waiting to use to get me to listen to her? Was she hoping that this would end it all?

“Y-you need to leave Azumano and get away from Satoshi,” she started. “This closeness can’t be good for you two. I-I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes, and she furiously wiped them away. Were those her true feelings hiding behind that animosity of hers? Or was it the alcohol causing her emotions to swing?

“I’m calling Daisuke to bring you home now.”

“No! I’m—”

“I’m calling him.”

She didn’t protest. She just sat in her seat, silently sipping on her drink while I headed out to call Daisuke. I returned to see Riku’s head resting on the table.

Passed out or asleep?

Daisuke came by pretty quickly, and I spotted him, completely flustered, as he approached our table.

“Oh, god, Risa. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Just make sure she gets home safe.”

He nodded, hoisting her up on his shoulder. I expected him to leave immediately, maybe whispering something under his breath, but he just stood by the table.

“About Riku finding out…sorry. I accidentally slipped up by saying something, and Riku kept pestering me about it and—”

“It’s fine. Just go.”

And with that, Daisuke left. The waiter then came, food in hand, wondering where my sister went. I told him not to worry about it, saying to just leave the food there and get me the check ASAP.

“Risa?”

I looked up to see my parents hovering at the edge of my table. They were excited to see me, but what were they doing here?

“Where’s your sister?” my mother asked as my dad slipped into the booth across from me.

“Home. She ended drinking a little too much, so I asked Daisuke to take her back home.”

My mom gasped before sitting down next to my dad. “Oh my, goodness. Is she alright?”

“I hope so. What brings you two here?”

“Actually, Riku was the one who asked us to come.”

“Why?”

My mom shrugged. “She said she’d explain it to us here. Do you know what she wanted to talk to us about?”

“No clue,” I feigned. The longer I kept my parents unaware of this, the better I’d feel. No way did I want to deal with the wrath of three Haradas at any given time. “You two help yourselves. My treat.”

“Thank you,” my father grumbled, cautiously eyeing the half empty drink Riku left, taking a sip of it, and slowly moving it towards him, before looking through the menu.

“Are you going to eat that?” My mom motioned to the maki set that Riku ordered. I shook my head, and she happily dug in.

I had a feeling the next time I met them, they would be hostile. So I enjoyed this brief moment, getting along with my parents for once and hoping it would never end.

…

Once I was at the news station the next morning, my phone started vibrating like crazy. My mom was sending frantic messages about Riku waking up with a headache, asking me if I was sure that she was okay. Riku certainly was far from okay, but I didn’t want to aggravate this already precarious situation so, like any responsible adult, I lied to my mom by telling her that Riku was having so much fun last night that she wasn’t pacing herself well before silencing my phone and stuffing it into the deep recesses of a pocket in my purse that I zipped up.

“Good morning, Harada-san,” the security guard greeted when I approached the elevators. “There’s someone looking for you.”

“Where are they?”

“Upstairs. I led them to your cubicle.”

“You just…let them in like that?”

“He showed me proper ID, but I can’t seem to recall his name. He just told me that he has official business with you.”

“…and you’re sure that it’s not Commissioner Hiwatari?”

“I’d recognize him anywhere, so it’s not him.”

“Okay. Thank you?”

He offered me a smile that I hesitantly returned before walking past him, mentally noting that we might need a personnel change for safety measures. Who could possibly need to have an official meeting with me and come by unannounced?

…oh shit.

Once the elevator landed on my floor, I rushed to my cubicle. There Kazama sat, leaning back in my desk chair with a mug of coffee in his hands, animatedly chatting with Takeshi who looked ready to keel over. Poor guy having to deal with him so early in the morning.

“And so—oh! Harada-san! The woman of the hour! You’ve kept me waiting!”

“And you’ve entertained Takeshi enough. Let him get back to work.”

As Takeshi passed by me, he patted my shoulder. I expected a look of gratitude of relief on his face, but he looked like he was on the verge of tears. “You’re a saint for saving me, Boss, but the Chief’s going to kill me for coming into the precinct so late.” He rushed out before I could even offer him words of consolation for the predicament this dickhead had put him in.

“It’s to be expected that a Hiwatari knows how to crack the ol’ whip every now and then!” Kazami chirped as I loudly dropped my stuff onto my desk. He was unfazed by the noise, but a couple of my neighbors peeked over the walls of my cubicle, wondering if they could get a glimpse at what had pissed me off first thing in the morning.

“So, what brings you here?” I ask, sitting down in a chair I reserved for guests because of Kazama’s snooty ass lavishly lounging in my comfortable one.

“That’s a rhetorical question, isn’t it?”

“Look, I know why you’re here, but couldn’t this have waited until I finished work for the day? Also, don’t you have super important cases to win back in Tokyo?”

“They’re not as important as getting some much needed R&R.” I scoff at his comment. “And am I not allowed to say hello to my favorite Harada?”

I wince at his words. “You’re not. I have work to do, and you’re bothering me right now, so you need to leave.”

“Not even a please? Goodness, whatever happened to treating your elders with manners?”

“Look,” I started in English, hoping my coworkers would have trouble understanding me, “my job already pisses me off enough, and I don’t need you to add onto that stress, okay? So if you could just lay off until this evening, that’d be great.”

Kazama whistled. “Amazing accent, Harada-san! I expected nothing less from a Todai graduate.”

I glared at him, and he stood up and gathered his things. “I’ll see you at Satoshi’s place for dinner, then?”

“If you’re cooking, I’ll pass.”

He chortled, knowing that I enjoyed his cooking far too much to miss out on it, and he left without another word. As I settled into my seat, I saw the peering eyes disappear in my peripheries. While I got myself ready for yet another day of work, I heard the murmurs of my coworkers as they concocted yet another rumor to spread about me.

Don’t these people have anything better to do than waste their time on the train wreck of my life?

…

As usual, Hiwatari met up with me outside the news station after the broadcast finished. We didn’t talk much on the way to his apartment, but we dropped by a bakery and grabbed a cake.

When we arrived, we were greeted by a lovely smell coming from the kitchen. Hiwatari greeted Kazama while I sat down at the table, admiring the cake through the flimsy plastic window on the box. All I had to do was survive an amazing dinner with not-so-amazing company, and then I could indulge in this beauty.

After talking to Kazama, Hiwatari headed into his room. He came out in yet another pair of ratty pajamas before slipping into the seat next to me.

“Have you talked to Daisuke yet?” I asked.

“No. It’s—I can’t bring myself to see him. I’m upset that he told Riku, but I’m mostly ashamed that it had come to this.” I nodded. “How was your talk with Riku last night?”

“She got super plastered, passed out at the table, and I had to call Daisuke to pick her up. She couldn’t last long enough to tell my parents about it.”

“Your parents?”

“Yeah. She was planning on telling them while half delirious under the influence of alcohol. Luckily, they didn’t find out, but I don’t know how long they’ll be kept in the dark about this.”

“Oh, juicy stuff!” Kazama interjected. He placed steaming hot plates of food in front of us, and it looked like he cooked extra for me to take home. “So, the older sister knows and is planning on making it worse by involving your parents?”

“Well, they have every right to know, but I’d rather they not.”

Kazama’s laugh trailed off as he went into the kitchen. He returned with two cans of beer, placing one in front of me, before plopping into one of the empty seats and opening his can.

“None for you, Big Boy. It’s what got you into this mess in the first place.” He took a sip. “Ah, that’s the stuff!”

For the most part, dinner went smoothly Hiwatari and Kazama rambled on about politics while I savored my food. When we finished, Hiwatari vehemently insisted that he do the dishes, leaving me and Kazama in the living room, crowded around the TV softly playing a rerun of an old drama, while Kazama cut the cake.

“For you, madam,” he joked as he passed me a slice of cake and a fork.

“Thank you, but shut up.”

When Hiwatari finished, he sat on the floor by Kazama. He helped himself to a slice of cake with a blank expression.

“So, the heart of the matter, you two,” Kazama started. “Run your next steps by me.”

“Jump off the cliffs and fall to our untimely deaths,” I grumbled before taking a bite of my cake.

Ah, how blissful.

“Seconded,” Hiwatari said.

“Ah-ah. The goal is to live, children. So, seriously, what is your plan?”

“Hope my parents never find out.”

“And if they do?”

“Die.”

“Harada-san! I trusted you to be stronger than this! What did you expect to happen as a consequence of your actions?”

“This. Exactly this. It’s just as bad as I envisioned it to be.”

Kazama laughed, clearly amused at our suffering, but he eventually calmed down. I expected him to say something absurd or rude to follow my statement, but he didn’t.

“You can’t control others, Harada-san. All you can do now is hang in there and take the punches.” Kazama paused. “Does your family normally react this extremely to these kinds of situations?”

“Yeah. They’ve always been over-protective, but I think it got worse after Argentine kidnapped me.”

Kazama didn’t say anything. Instead, he turned to Hiwatari and frowned. “Friendly reminder that this is your fault. I won’t protect you from whatever will come your way. Do you understand me?”

“Yes.”

“You need to accept that the family you found with the Haradas will change or disappear when they find out.”

Hiwatari’s lips thinned in a line. I didn’t know how dear Hiwatari held my family. Likewise, I didn’t know how fondly my parents thought of Hiwatari, either.

The thought of losing people never sat well for anyone, especially Hiwatari. I couldn’t imagine what he could be feeling right now.

“Well, since shit hasn’t completely hit the fan, you two should play it by ear.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Well, it’s time for me to visit the Niwas! Can’t wait to see how divisive everyone will be! Toodles!”

The front door slammed shut, leaving me and Hiwatari with a half-eaten cake and the TV blaring some annoying advertisement. I moved towards him, concerned at his slumped body.

“So, how’d the thing with my parents happen?” I asked. “I’m genuinely curious; after all, they’re not the Niwas.”

“Because of Riku.”      

Hiwatari looked up and, after noticing the shock on my face, looked back down at the floor. “…you don’t know what happened?”

“This may or may not be news to you, but I also cut off contact with everyone in Azumano while I was in Tokyo.” I narrowed my eyes. “What happened to my sister?”

“After you left, she couldn’t leave her bed. She was nauseous, feverous, and could barely keep anything down.”

“What? Why?!”

“Apparently, whenever you two were separated for extended periods of time, Riku would always get sick.”

“Why is this my first time hearing about this? And from you of all people?”

“No one wanted you to worry. And you probably would’ve never found out if it weren’t for me. And this situation.”

“Okay, so what do you have to do with any of this?”

“When I heard about it from Daisuke, I decided to pay Riku and your family a visit. For whatever reason, they thought Riku’s condition was caused by some spiritual connection the two of you share because you’re twins.” Hiwatari frowned. “I don’t understand why you Haradas are so obsessed with mysticism.”

“You’re one to talk with that magical, artsy blood flowing in your veins.”

Hiwatari sighed before continuing. “It turns out that Riku was too anxious without you. Her brain was conditioned to think that the two of you being together meant that both of you were safe. So, whenever you were gone, she ended up worrying about both you and her.”

“What’d you do?”

“I told her you weren’t really gone. You were just living your life in Tokyo without much of a care in the world.”

“…I’m assuming that didn’t help.”

“Not at all.”

I laughed, and Hiwatari smiled before continuing. “Riku needed to learn how to live again for herself. So I made her exercise, go out with family and friends, and suffer through game night at the Niwas. I just needed to jumpstart her brain so that she wouldn’t crumble again when she returned to college.” 

“Returned to college?”

“She had to withdraw from college during her first semester after failing her first round of midterms.”

Our eyes met for a couple of seconds, and the shock initially on his face gave way to an expression of hurt. “Harada-san…”

“Continue, Hiwatari-san.”

“Are you sure?”

“Continue.”

He hesitated, and I watched him shift his posture slightly to buy him some time. His hand slid closer to me, unable to move any further: all he could offer at this moment was half-assed consolation, but it was the only thing we could mentally accept right now.

I slid mine closer, thankful for the gesture but too afraid to fully commit, and Hiwatari continued. “Since she wasn’t getting better, I had to coerce your parents into taking her to therapy. She improved from there, and she was able to go back to college the following year.”

“How did you get closer to my parents then?”

“A little while after I started coming over to help Riku, your mother, in true Risa fashion, had sat me down once with coffee and asked me to talk about myself. Honestly, I mostly just sat there in silence while she bombarded me with questions.” I laughed. “But, while one of her daughters was AWOL, the other one practically unresponsive, she still somehow managed to genuinely care about how I was doing.” He paused. “From there on, your parents somehow found a way to make me feel at home. They let me breathe in a way that the Niwas didn’t. Even though I had an inkling they did it to cope with what was going on with the two of you, I felt like that was how it felt to have parents.”

“Huh.”

Hiwatari only smiled. “Well, anyways, my uncle’s right; I only have myself to blame for this mess.” He then glanced at his phone. “And as much as I appreciate this intimate session of catching up, it’s late and we both have work tomorrow. It’s time for me to walk you back.”

“I’ll be fine. Thank you for the offer, though.”

“…I would insist but, after the conversation we just had, please accept me calling you a ride.”

“Thank you.”

Hiwatari packed enough food to last me a week and enough cake to fatten me up in two evenings. I stood by the door, putting on my shoes, and ready to go home and think.

“Harada-san.”

“Mhm?”

Hiwatari looked lost for once. “Your ride is here.”

“Thank you.”

“And I’m sorry.”

I laughed at his awful timing. My hand reached out to playfully punch him in the shoulder but, after seeing that somber expression on his face, I stopped myself. Only then did I realize the gravity of the situation.

“…your ride is about to leave.”

“Yes! Yes, I’ll see you around.”

When the door closed behind me, I sprinted down. The driver was feeling especially chatty for that trip, affording me a handful of minutes to not think about the shit storm waiting for us. And once they dropped me off at my apartment, it took me everything to not march to Mizuame de Noisette and have an evening full of regret.

I headed up to my room like a responsible adult and decided, instead, to pass out on my sofa, unable to fall asleep despite the tinny notes that usually lulled me to sleep.

…

Daisuke had sent me a message the next morning asking if I could meet with him at the museum café. I sent a message to the group chat I had with Takeshi and Hiwatari saying that I had other lunch plans that day and for them to enjoy their midday meal without me.

So, whilst eating a chicken club sandwich in a sterile museum café, Takeshi kept spamming the chat with the lunch menu from some upscale restaurant. I silenced my phone before tossing it into my purse and giving Daisuke my full attention. He was digging into a salad and wincing with each bite he took.

“Um…are you alright?”

“I need to start losing weight for the wedding.”

I blinked, examining Dasiuke’s lean body for any sign of fat. The man was barely filling out his clothes. What weight was he trying to lose here?

“Please don’t tell me you asked me to come over for solidarity during this time of suffering.”

“Oh no. I just wanted to let you know that Riku’s planning on telling your parents about what happened with you and Satoshi before she left for work later.”

I nearly squeezed the filling out of my sandwich.

“I also wanted to apologize, but I don’t think that’s going to help the situation.”

“Well, even though you’re right, I still accept your apology.” Daisuke nodded. “Actually, I’m kind of also here to ask about what happened with Riku after I left.”

Daisuke looked up from his sandwich in shock. “Satoshi told you?”

“Yeah. Why? What’s wrong?”

“Well, Riku kind of made us promise her to never tell you about it, but if Satoshi decided to tell you, I’m sure he had a good reason to break it then.”

“Is me asking about how he got close to my parents a good enough reason?”

“Considering the impending situation on our hands, I think so. Besides, I think it’s good that the truth is finally airing itself out even if it’s a little…hectic right now.”

“You’re the last person who should be saying that considering this mess is kind of your fault.”

Daisuke sheepishly smiled. “I suppose you’re right then.”

I watched him cringe through another bite of his salad, and I had half a mind to order the menu item with the largest calorie intake. My future brother-in-law shouldn’t have to suffer like this right after getting engaged.

“Well, I honestly don’t know if I can add onto whatever Satoshi already told you. Since I was in college at the time, I only saw Riku on the weekends. She called me a lot because Satoshi was brutal with her, but I don’t think that’s what you wanted to hear from me.

“I will say, even though I am your sister’s fiancé, I do think that she’s overstepping a boundary here. I understand that she’s hurt, but what she’s set out to do is probably going to cause more harm than good.” Daisuke smiled. “But there’s nothing we can do about that now. Once she’s like that, you know it’s impossible to stop her.”

Our talk had made me lose my appetite, and I left lunch with Daisuke earlier than I thought I would. Takeshi came into the news station that afternoon to gloat about his amazing lunch date with Satoshi, to which I didn’t pay much attention to considering I was more worried about what would occur later that day.

When I got a message from my dad around the time that Riku usually left for work, I knew it was over. I messaged Daisuke, requesting that he ask Kazama to grab a table at Mizuame de Noisette later, and I marched home for what may be one of the worst evenings of my life.

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Grooming Night

Kaiser’s hands moved through Daisuke’s feathers, carefully checking each one of them. A few of those he lingered on, picking up the feather brush he kept nearby and smoothing them out. Others he gently worked out and set aside. Daisuke twitched and shivered each time he did that, his shoulders shaking whenever Kaiser’s fingers got too close.

They shook a lot. Any time Kaiser’s fingers touched him was too close, in his opinion. It also did not help that his molting season had finally arrived and Kaiser was grooming him. He did this for hours every day, making certain that Daisuke’s falling feathers were cleaned up and the newly growing ones came in nicely.

Molting itched. It was a part of growing and he needed a lot of food when it got started – food that Kaiser still insisted that he beg for. Daisuke couldn’t even begin to try to resist for that now. He’d considered it for a few hours, until the clawing empty gap in his stomach demanded food so strongly in between breakfast and lunch that he’d broken down and begged Kaiser for a mid-morning snack.

“How does that feel?” Kaiser murmured, one hand resting on the top of one wing. Daisuke closed his eyes and shivered all over. He had to stay where he was during the whole grooming operation. That made him wild to get moving – wilder than he normally was, with so much pent up energy.

He held it better than he had when he’d first been taken. Kaiser gave him times and places where he could burn it off, but grooming was difficult, more so than now.

“It feels all right,” Daisuke said at last. “They do itch over here, though.” He raised his left hand to indicate that side of his wings. “There’s a bad patch right in the middle.”

Kaiser now brushed his fingers through that area. “Here?” Daisuke nodded and Kaiser probed. “I see. Let me try this. I’ve been preparing it for you.”

Daisuke wondered what he meant. He didn’t have long to wait before something a bit chilled began to be smoothed into the feathers. The itching soothed almost at once and Daisuke heaved a deep, rested sigh.

“That feels wonderful, master. Thank you.” It did. He didn’t argue with himself about telling the truth to the Kaiser. It wasn’t really worth the energy that it took. He wasn’t ever good at lying; he never had been. If he thought about it, then being here meant he didn’t have to keep lying to his parents about where his bruises came from or where he got in his flying practice or why he kept bringing extra food back to his room.

“You’re quite welcome,” Kaiser said, satisfied. “I made that cream for you. I’m glad that you liked it. Since it does such a good job, I’ll have more of it made.”

Daisuke wasn’t so dense he couldn’t figure out the meaning behind those words. What Kaiser meant was that he’d need more. Not just this molt but for many molts to come. Molting happened more frequently when a Flier was growing up – like he was now – and tapered off until an adult Flier molted about once a year or so. The idea of spending years and years restrained, chained, under the Kaiser’s unyielding domination – he’d have nightmares about that. He’d already had a few but there were clearly more to come.

I wish I could talk to V-mon. He really wanted to do that but so far the Kaiser hadn’t seen fit to allow that. He wasn’t sure if he ever would. Kaiser was very, very possessive of him, after all. Those few times he got to see the others at distance grew rarer and rarer. Even if V-mon couldn’t stay or he couldn’t leave, he just wanted to see his partner again and talk to him, to know that he was all right. To let V-mon know that he was all right.

Even though he wasn’t. Being the Kaiser’s prisoner and pet meant that he’d never be all right and he refused to let himself forget that.

But then the Kaiser’s hands brushed over the arc of his wings and down the sides of his neck. Daisuke arched his neck backward, shivering, a frisson of pleasure rocketing through him that he wished he could ignore. The longer that he stayed at the Kaiser’s feet, the more the Kaiser touched him and the more often the Kaiser touched him, the more Daisuke liked it. Every moment of contact set every sense and every part of his body on unquenchable fire. At least not by himself…

Most people didn’t touch a Flier's wings. At least not with permission from the Flier. Kaiser never waited for permission. He ran his fingers through Daisuke’s wings whenever he chose to do so, finding all the places that made Daisuke make noises. It didn’t take long. Daisuke hadn’t ever had much in the way of self-restraint and when it came to his wings being played with – or parts of his hair being played with – then he had even less.

Kaiser had very talented fingers. Daisuke already knew that, from when they’d played soccer against one another in that time before. He knew it in an entirely different way now as Kaiser brushed and tended each one of his feathers and ensured that he was in perfect condition in every single way.

He wasn’t sure of how long he sat there under the Kaiser’s hands, his feathers being set in order, but at some point, Kaiser tapped him in the shoulder and he twisted his head around to look up.

Kaiser held something out to him – a bracelet. A real bracelet – not like a fancy piece of chains or shackles. Daisuke blinked at it and stared closer.

“Take it,” Kaiser said, voice a trifle gruff. “I had it made for you.”

Slowly Daisuke picked it up, not sure of why but certain if he did it, Kaiser would force it on him regardless. The bracelet was of a material he didn’t recognize, but as he turned it over, he could see one of his own feathers encased within it, wound about with a strand of blue hair. He blinked several times, trying to wrap his head around this.

“What -” He knew that shade of hair. He saw it whenever he looked at the Kaiser. He could hardly forget it when it was such a part of his life.

“Your feather and my hair,” Kaiser said, voice still gruff. “Encased together, forever. Just like you and me. It’s been six months since I brought you here. An anniversary present.”

Oh. Daisuke swallowed. Six months. He’d been away from home, his friends, his family, and his partner for six months. Half of the year. He thought he remembered what they all looked and sounded like but if he really tried hard – they seemed so faint. What he remembered clearest of all was his time here with the Kaiser. It was all but impossible to forget a moment of his time here. Held and bound, kept restrained in whatever way the Kaiser pleased, and unable to really do anything about it.

Some anniversary. He didn’t even get cake.

“That’s – yeah.” He wasn’t going to say it was nice. It wasn’t thoughtful. It was pretty much a nightmare that he lived on a daily basis.

Kaiser reached down, picked up Daisuke's wrist, and slid the bracelet onto it. He admired it for a few moments before he turned Daisuke’s wrist around and pries his fingers open, then dropped a kiss down on Daisuke’s palm. Daisuke closed his eyes. Kaiser kissed him there again, then did the same thing to Daisuke’s other hand.

“Tonight I have a feast planned for us,” Kaiser told him, eliminating Daisuke’s mental pouting about not having cake. Sometimes – all the time – Kaiser read him far too well. “Tomorrow we’ll take care of your wings again. And every day until your molt is finished.” Kaiser now tilted Daisuke’s head to stare at him before he pressed a kiss to Daisuke’s lips, tongue tracing along before probing between them. Daisuke tried to close his lips but Kaiser’s tongue kept him from doing so. Kaiser broke the kiss when he was satisfied, leaning back to run his hands through Daisuke’s hair. “Then I’ll take you flying. Don’t you want that?”

Daisuke breathed a sigh outwards. He knew the only answer that he could use right now. “Yes, master.”

Kaiser smiled. It wasn’t a terrifying expression, nor one of anger. It made Daisuke’s heart sink to see it regardless, even as it pleased him. He didn’t want to make Kaiser happy but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“Very good, my pet. Very good indeed.”

Daisuke leaned back against his master’s legs as the Kaiser got back to work. He had to stay in flying condition. He had to be ready when the chance came. That was all.

The End

Notes: Poor Daisuke. Random dice roll was three & the words chosen were: order, perfect, and sense.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 3/4/19

ACCA 13-Territory Inspection Department, Vol. 6 | By Natsume Ono | Yen Press – And so, ACCA ends as it began, with endless discussions between relatively stoic middle-aged people. This is pretty much the definition of Natsume Ono’s career, so no complaints here. Things work out. Being the leader of a revolution is the last thing that Jean wants, and it’s amusing to see how he’s theoretically promised something to every single territory without actually promising anything. Moreover, ACCA manages to threaten the new ruler without actually removing him, and there are hints that he’ll be nicer—to Jean’s sister if no one else. Six volumes seems like the exact length for this series, and I’m happy to have read it, even when it was intensely talky. – Sean Gaffney

The Ancient Magus’ Bride, Vol. 10 | By Kore Yamazaki | Seven Seas – It’s a new direction for The Ancient Magus’ Bride, as Chise is off to attend the alchemist college. The alchemists want to study Chise in hopes of creating an artificial sleigh beggy substitute and in return she gets to audit classes for free. I liked that her primary goal is learning how to help people without sacrificing herself (with the side goal of thus keeping Elias from undertaking any more the-ends-justify-the-means efforts to save her) and also potentially find cures for the two curses now afflicting her arm. Many new characters are introduced, Chise is reminded that she’s “really bad at dealing with people and school,” and the church realizes that Elias’ observer has been lax and prepares to send out someone different. I’m enjoying this arc so far and remain very glad I got caught up on this series when I did! – Michelle Smith

Anonymous Noise, Vol. 13 | By Ryoko Fukuyama | VIZ Media – Yuzu’s back and just in time for In No Hurry to participate in the Tokyo Sailing concert series. The only problem is that Nino is “catastrophically terrible” in rehearsals, which she attributes to having nothing left to yearn for now that she and Momo have finally gotten together. A lot of angst ensues, culminating in a performance where Nino seems unconcerned that she’s damaging her voice, convincing the two main guys in her life that she’s planning on giving up singing. Yuzu seems poised to try to reign her in by joining her on vocals—this would be a huge development—buuuuut then we end the main story to make way for a bonus story that is fine, I guess (it does have a cute cat), but not what I wanted to be reading. This series is still occasionally infuriating, but I guess I’m hooked now. – Michelle Smith

Barakamon, Vol. 17 | By Satsuki Yoshino | Yen Press – Hiroshi’s absence is felt here, mostly as he does NOT call home all the time or immediately return. Hilariously, Handa tries to fix things by dying his hair blond and doing incredibly bad Hiroshi impressions. The bulk of the humor in this book, though, comes from the arrival of a two-person documentary team, here to videotape the countryside but not really prepared for the sheer presence of most of the cast, (and also having tremendous trouble not flirting shamelessly with each other, something everyone picks up on). Barakamon is wrapping up next volume, and that seems about right—this volume seems to be dragging things out a bit, and most of the main plot points have been wrapped up. – Sean Gaffney

Gabriel Dropout, Vol. 6 | By Ukami |Yen Press – The last half of this volume of Gabriel Dropout deals with the school trip, and has some good laughs, including two times where I literally laughed out loud (both involve Gabriel). Which is good, because that’s the main reason anyone is reading this series. The characters are not really here to develop, even as we introduce more of them. Another human girl gets a spotlight here, trying to make friends with Mei despite her being a devil and also really shy. Raphiel gets to snark, Vignette gets to overplan, Satanichia gets to do her “evil ojou” impersonation… everything is present and correct. Should you still read this series? Yes. It’s funny. It’s not deep, but I always smile at the end of it. – Sean Gaffney

Hatsu*Haru, Vol. 5 | By Shizuki Fujisawa | Yen Press – If a direct confession doesn’t work, well, try the forceful kiss again, I guess? Really, a lot of Hatsu*Haru revolves around how bad Kai is at being a cool shoujo lead, and I don’t expect this to end well for him. Meanwhile, Riko’s crush is finally married, so she can theoretically move on—though most of this volume is about how moving on is hard. And in a blow to my shipper heart, Ayumi and Takaya are faking a relationship in order to try to get Kai and Riko together… but don’t actually seem to have any sublimated feelings for each other. Darn. Ah well, the manga is still young. Till then, please enjoy teens being really emotional and awkward about romance. – Sean Gaffney

In/Spectre, Vol. 9 | By Kyo Shirodaira and Chashiba Katase | Kodansha Comics – Again we get two stories in this volume, one shorter and one long. The short one shows us Kotoko in high school, being asked to join a mystery club that’s about to be dissolved and in her spare time figuring out that the club is more about a forbidden romance than any actual mystery, though I was amused at “spoiling” a mystery that isn’t a spoiler in the first place. The longer story is more serious, about a young woman with a deadly past that… is not being brought up by the media, and about Kotoko and Kuro solving the mystery and also revealing a lot to us about lucky cat statues. There’s less of Kotoko being silly and horny in this one, but the stories are fun. – Sean Gaffney

NE NE NE | By Shizuku Totono and Daisuke Hagiwara | Yen Press – The opening scene of NE NE NE shows the wedding between Koyuki and Shin, an arranged marriage in which the groom is twenty years older than his teenaged wife. While this premise certainly had the potential to enter into somewhat questionable territory, the manga is actually quite charming and sweet. I’m not sure that I was ever entirely convinced by the difference in Koyuki and Shin’s ages based on how they were portrayed as individuals, but I did enjoy seeing their relationship naturally deepen over the course of the volume. Of the two leads Shin is the more fully-developed character—he at least gets a backstory while almost nothing is known about Koyuki beyond the fact that she desperately wants to be a good wife. But even so, they’re adorable, both together and on their own. With an additional dash of humor and magic, NE NE NE is a delight. – Ash Brown

Ran and the Gray World, Vol. 2 | By Aki Irie | VIZ Media – The opening chapter of this volume pissed me off righteously, as it involves teen-version Ran hanging out with Otaro the creeper and telling him, “You’d better not touch me” only for him to immediately glomp her. Actual quote from my notes: “THIS FUCKER DOES NOT LISTEN AT ALL. I WANT TO KICK HIM INTO THE SUN.” He promises he’s got “lots more” in store for her, but thankfully her new magic teacher arrives and the story moves on to deadly magical insects (one comes thiiiiiis close to killing Otaro but, sadly, he survives), magical training, and classmates who have crushes on Jin and Ran. I vastly prefer Ran’s age-appropriate love interest, Hibi, and sincerely hope having a friend her own age inspires her to stay away from Otaro. At least Jin is on to his womanizing ways. – Michelle Smith

Ran and the Gray World, Vol. 2 | By Aki Irie | Viz Media – The good news is that all the reasons that I enjoyed the first volume are here again. Ran is a delight, I also like her brother (and his maybe relationship with a new girl whose looks and personality remind me of Hinata Hyuuga), the bug subplot is creepy but also drives the story forward well, and the art is absolutely gorgeous. The bad news is that the main thing I didn’t like about the fist volume is also here: Otaro, the sleazy older guy from the first volume, is back and still trying to get into Ran’s pants. Even if she weren’t really a young girl using magical shoes, he’d still be the absolute worst, something the manga artist knows—they show him being reprehensible. Maybe he’ll die in the next book? Nah, I’m not that lucky. – Sean Gaffney

Tales of Wedding Rings, Vol. 5 | By Maybe | Yen Press – I was prepared to meet the fifth Ring Princess in this book, which we do (she’s on the cover, in case you hadn’t guessed). It’s the rest of the book that took me by surprise. Things go very bad very fast, and all of our main harem end up being shunted back to Earth in order to save them from the encroaching doom. This is… annoying given that Satou and the Ring Princesses’ sole purpose is to save the world from encroaching doom. It does mean we get to see cute things like shopping for clothes and going to libraries. It’s also fortuitous, as the fifth princess was on Earth all along. Will we be headed back next volume? And will Satou ever manage to go all the way with Hime? Honestly, I suspect no, but this is still fun to read. – Sean Gaffney

By: Ash Brown