#(Btw theyre talking about 'P u r i t y' as in like S h i n t o and another T/N said like in Sin B u d d h i s m)
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muwur · 4 years ago
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Since requests were open I was wondering if I could request father headcanons for iwai + ushi + atsumu 🥺 btw your writing is vv tasty n I can’t wait to see you write more !! Keep up the good work n stay safe !!
haikyuu daddee headcanons
✧ hc’s ✧ for iwaizumi, ushijima, and atsumu
❧ gn reader
✎ 1.4k words
a/n: omg u called my writing taSTY Dx i cri tySM 💞 that is a high compliment for me AHAHAHAH ILY and ty for the request! 
also my lovelies i m back i m sry i was gone so long feojfe i miss yall <3 here u go enjoi, this was fun to write lmk if yall want more characetrs AHAHA
current listen: accidentally in love by sHREK AAHAH jkjk i mean counting crows, they cant take that away from me by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong, love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna
requests: open!
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iwaizumi
✧ prePARED daddy
✧ picked up on this parenting thing p fast, also does a lot of research so he’s ready to face any situation
✧ teaches his kids how to behave n respect others
✧ also makes sure they know not to talk to strangers and teaches them some self defense
✧ be warned these kids are packing a surprise can of whOOP ASS,, dont fuck w them,, plus u wouldnt want buff daddee iwa on ur tail
✧ honestly his kids would be ANGELS ,,, n thats cuz he treats them all so w e l l
✧ mans is ATTENTIVE. he asks his kids about their days, their interests, and encourages discussion about their fEELINGS 🥺
✧ always offers them really valuable and light-hearted advice
✧ and gives them the love and transparency we all wanted but never had--
✧ however his kids are easily (n negatively) influenced esp when uncle oikawa comes to visit--
✧ but mostly bc iwa gets annoyed and slips out a lot of curse words and a “shittykawa” and then his kids started calling oikawa that and now it’s ingrained in them forever fjoefefgfvi (*distant phlattykawa crying noises*)
✧ gives them LOTS of head pats and ruffles as signs of affection
✧ PACKS THEIR SCHOOL LUNCHES and ensures they eat a balanced meal
✧ attends all their games/events,, will get a bit rowdy hype them up
✧ def lets his kids sleep with him when they’re having a bad night or woke up scared from a nightmare (and waits for them to fall asleep before going to sleep himself fojref)
✧ when they were babies he usually succeeded to get them to stop crying by pulling funny faces, showing them their favorite cartoons, or humming a lullaby
✧ when they get older,,, u bet iwa would be suPER protective esp when their kids start being iNtErEsTeD in other people
✧ you: “iwaizumi, they seem like a really nice kid, though”
✧ iwa: *sitting with you in the car, across the street from the ice cream parlor your child said they were at, and spying from the window* “you can’t trust everyone, of course they seem ‘nice,’ they just want our approval”
✧ definitely did not interrupt his child’s potential first kiss at their house’s doorstep by slamMINg the door open “sUDDENLY” cuz he “hEard TheIR vOicEs and THougHt TO lET them In”
✧ effectively traumatized both kids
✧ tho he felt bad after n u made him go apologize so he did (and he was forgiven, only if he agreed to never spy on them again--)
✧ doesn’t stop him from scrutinizing every person yalls kid introduces to you tho
✧ overall a super supportive dad, 11/10
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ushijima
✧ ok dEF does not know much about parenting ,, at first
✧ stared at his child like ???nani when you both changed their first diaper
✧ also had plenty of staring contests with his babies ,,, called it bonding
✧ was curious and tasted baby food once,,, immediately regretted it
✧ once put a volleyball next to his child, who attempted to bite it, and took it as a sign that they liked it
✧ after sum time n practice, his mind becomes split between “how to volleyball” and “how to dad”
✧ catch him in the kitchen wearing an apron and whipping up his kids’ favorite smiley face pancakes 😤😤
✧ has an amazing ability to get his kids to stop crying, does really simple things like give them their favorite toy or place a gentle hand on their hand or attend to their needs (mans can tell if they want food or needa poop) and they calm down immediately
✧ carried them on his shoulders once and now they never stop asking him for shoulder rides (not that he minds anyway)
✧ if theres two kids he can probs carry one on each shoulder cuz cmon ,,, have u seen this man
✧ always goes to every performance/game/event his child takes part in
✧ man smiles so soft™ when he goes to the 1st grade play and sees his kid’s name in the program next to their role as “townsperson b” (next year, they upgraded to “singing carrot” in a play about the food pyramid)
✧ if his kid ends up enjoying volleyball, he will teach them e v e r y t h i n g they need to know
✧ but is overall super supportive of anything else his child pursues and doesn’t push anything onto them, would rather let them choose what they want to do
✧ had n o idea what to do when his kid asked him about the birds n the bees asfghkl
✧ couldnt sleep one night thinking about it and just randomly asks you while yall laying in bed in the dARk like “so our child asked me how babies are made and I told them they came from watermelon seeds” (you: 👁️👄👁️ “come again”)
✧ you: *at the grocery store with your child*
✧ child: *hands you watermelon* “I want a little brother!”
✧ you: “haha of course honey” 👁️👄👁️ what do i do (*later to ushijima* “duhfojhguf we needa get another baby i promised our child a younger brother fohurof” ; ushi: “wat” ; you: “itS YOUR FAULT”)
✧ yall eventually tell them not every watermelon can produce babies only really special ones that are really hard to get fhuoefkfotfi theyre not ready for the truth
✧ another great daddee, we stan
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atsumu
✧ knew parenting was stressful esp with bABieS but was like eh it cant be that bad right
✧ think again
✧ g o o d b y e  s l e e p
✧ develops phat bags under his eyes, responds with a weak “aha im fine just that parenting life and the kids ykNOW” whenever his teammates ask if he’s oKAY
✧ tried to tempt his kids to eat their mush baby food by trying it himself, nearly gagged but was able to say “eughh yuMM”
✧ loves to lift them high up in the air, even throws them up a little and nearly drops them (yall almost died from feAR but babie was having so much fun,,, yall agreed to be just a bit more careful)
✧ rlly bad at getting them to stop crying, gets very stressed when he’s exhausted every option he can think of then calls you over for some help/advice (you: *immediately calms them down* ; ratsumu: “how--”)
✧ calls up osamu a lot to ask him how to make food ,, then simps whenever his twin brother comes over and the kids are in love with this man and his cooking (”dad why cant you make stuff as yummy as this”)
✧ very affectionate with his kids, gives them lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead
✧ plays with them a lot! whether it’s sports, just dance, animal crossing, or UNO, yOU NAME IT WE PLAY IT
✧ also has no mercy when playing competitive video or board games,, has made them cry more than once LOL
✧ so sometimes he toned it down n let them win,, until his kids actually got better and DEMOLISH him every time
✧ is cool with his kids cursing, just as long as they don’t do it in front of their teachers LMAO
✧ plays innocent when he gets a call from school saying his kid was using ‘inappropriate language’ and is like “whaaat? my child? im not even sure where they learned that, maybe check if the other kids in class are saying those things, too--”
✧ reminisces how much nicer his kids were to him when they were younger and all the time they spent together,,, bc now that they reached their tEeNS they want alone time
✧ wants to be B) cool dad so he tries kinda hard, esp in front of their friends but his kid’s just like dad pls dofjrgjigtgro
✧ also very supportive of whatever his kids want to pursue and dedicates time to help them in whatever ways he can (whether that be to help them practice, make sure he can provide transportation, get them supplies, etc)
✧ always playfully competing with you to see who’s the “better” parent (you win by default)
✧ PROTECTIVE dad and will easily intimidate ANYONE who crosses his kids
✧ takes sum adjustment and mental resilience but daddee atsumu perseveres  😤 absolutely loves his kids and would do anything for them  
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cleaduvalls · 5 years ago
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i watched all 20 episodes of spy kids: mission critical in about a week and here are my thoughts (3/5)
1.9
i havent watched this in like 2 days i dont even remember what happened last time
why is everything in the desert the desert sucks
alsjhiajgdf i love tom kenny
listen i know hes like a superandroid or whatever but i really hope he and therese fall in love
wait hold up. i thought they already had midterms???? like the did that before scorpion went to her fashion shoot. AND they were kupkakkes midterms. whats up with this school
no drinking in class???? rude. let them hydrate
that seems imbalanced
aHh
thats only like 10
also that book is dummy thicc
its ok ace my nose whistles too
shut up carmen youre just jealous because shes pretty
there are no seasons its a desert
ok dude stop breathing so hard
he JUST said that
anywhere between an hour and umm... 11 months
you put it on one page why are all the pages back
me but with physics
thats literally the best line in the whole series
juni how do you not know that you were at a safe H O U S E
theyve been gone for like 2 hours are they not allowed to study?????
what even is AWOL???
absent without leave. neat
talon gives off some big draco energy
tick tock???? how dare you
slkdhfa she called sir awesome honey shes such a mom
dont make it obvious
oh look they made it obvious
roll credits
i was in cleveland when i watched this episode - well actually i left that day - and i was s h o o k e t h
also hes right. no spy would be in cleveland. theres 3 buildings
oh me too
right bc shes the only “I.A.”
ew
eW
this isnt HARRY POTTER. or maybe it is. talon is a hardcore draco
oh right bc swearing is for Men™
update tumblr decided to break AGAIN (im boutta cry btw) so we lost about 5 minutes from the end of 1.9 and 7 from the beginning of 1.10
1.10
its a DOORBELL do they not have those in the outback steakhouse
lots of people. doofenshmirtz, other people who i cant think of right now, etc
???? no it wont????
did your troop leader not give you The Talk??? you NEVER go in the customers house
ace no. youre allowed to not buy treats
theres a triforce on her vest, too
shes just gonna go to another house yall. shell be f i n e
oh my God shes holding hands with mauly im gonna c r y
yeah its called saliva
nope only scorpion lives in a castle
stop bringing up spy sense and tell him you saw her glare at you
HES ALLOWED TO LIKE FOOD
how do you know that he doesnt have his phone if YOU dont know where it is and HE cant tell you
i love how she says "floor. ceiling. more thumb"
haha i found the birth of venus
oh and the creation of adam
hes like squidward, which would make sense bc goldies voiced by tom kenny who voices spongebob
"sebastian oliver" "shadow operative" S.O. nice
why do you have a trailblazers badge. youre 4. i didnt get one til i was a cadette
also sebastian???? isnt that the toymakers first name????? you cant have 2 sebastians
also why do you have braces. youre still 4
"SIR MEANIE FACE" IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME ID BE D E V A S T A T E D
SCORPION LET HER CRY SHES F O U R
so really, spy sense DID help
oooooh, sentry duty, thats gotta hurt
WHAT THE H E C K YOURE F O U R
she looks like frickin plushtrap
aCE NO YOURW GONNA D I E
oh trust me they hurt me more than you know
dude theyre so thin youre f i n e
eh, still worked
clicking her teeth together so hard must H U R T
i think she can get out of there. also shes concussed now
why was that so quiet. why did it get louder
thats not a y shape
no, they spy kids
oh shiitake mushrooms thats what THEY said
whenever they say pinnoquinoxx i always think of pinnochio
ahdhhsjak i miss pizza parties 😔
well now we ALL expect it
also, no one????? pick a cooler code name. your regular name was cool and now youve ruined it
2.1
oh theres finally a skip intro option. im not taking it
stop saying that its weird
EWWWWWW CRUSTY THATS SO G R O S S
haha shes shopping w the goon. love that
oh yeah i didnt get to tell yall yet but i absolutely h a t e gablet
a lot of people, juni
listen i know a jt (but he doesnt go by jt) and uhhhhhhh were not gonna go there
why are you happy. what about second semester makes you so happy
boi thats a tardis
the design on his hoverboard looks like the aperture science logo
i paused to read the Floops label and it says "fried corn and sugar loop shaped breakfast substitute, net wt. 13 oz" ITS NOT EVEN A CEREAL ITS A BREAKFAST SUBSTITUTE IM C R Y I N G
listen i know hes technically scorpions dad but i dont think he can legally be in the dorm rooms
aww, thats sweet
i dont think gablet has an attached printer
gablet always sounds like shes mocking people
oh dear God its dolores umbridge
haha nerd
awesome no im gonna die
whenever carmen yells she sounds like link
ok so i didnt find a reason why she sounds like link but i DID find that theyre making a wherea waldo tv series so uhhhh thats fun
why does the cat have a bandaid
GABLET S T O P
OH!!!!!! ON THE WALL!!!!!!! ITS THE TUMBLR POST WITH THE FORK AND KNIFE ETIQUETTE PICTURE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!!
oh no fart jokes
its even the basic fart sound effect
BAHAHAH MY PHONE VIBRATED AT THE SAME TIME HE FARTED THAT WAS WEIRD
oh no i hate him
stop SLURPING
uh yeah???? you heard them yelling about it
how??? does that work??? you cant just like catch electricity in a cup.... can you???? i havent studied it since 4th grade
oh worm??
goldies such a boomer
worm??
psi shouldnt be at the drawing board right now. he also shouldnt be confused
what happened to the lasers
wait nvm we havent gotten to that episode yet
ace is valid, dark is Scary
im gonna punch gablet in the face
that doesnt sound realistic
do you not have stairs??????
dont you mean inside AND out??
that flashlight did NOTHING
how did it die so fast?????
who else would you be talking to??
isnt that bowser from the mario movie we dont speak of??
i havent gotten a chance to tell yall but i absolutely love clemp. hes such a mood
hes the greatest spy
does it use a mini transmooker???? ig it doesnt bc gablet works but thatd be lit
SEE SHES IMMORTAL
me when i see something interesting
ME WHEN IM NOT ON MY PHONE
i dont think you can legally say that
you killed her
me
wow nice promo
also just???? bring a charger????? like youre the tech girl why do you not have one at all times
how?????? did you go so fast
machete electric bubbles??? nice
just task manager him
mother of all boards sounds like it could be a cuss...mother of all fuckers
also throwback to 1.7 when she says "his ai firewalled his motherboard" i keep expecting her to say "his ai firewalled this motherfucker"
yes i said keep ive watched that episode too many times to count
worm??
why did you giggle and make a flirty pose. are yall supposed to get together???
did you????? kill him????????? holy shit
2.2
thats what my dad does. he loves hospital corners
idc what it is you have a bazooka
ok if it was a spider id get it, australia has some deadly ones, but does it have deadly ants too???? like is that a Thing????
also ants in your room are gross
was that just a cameo??? i dont remember what happens in this one
haha because he said grapevines and wine has dregs and wine is made of grapes
for the boys??? thats so cute
listen idc how evil you are EVERYONE should cry over otters
so one of the parents has a sister or sister in law named roxanna..... hmmm.......
if you dont use your turn signal h*ck u
hes gonna D I E
i just looked at my shoe and i think theres blood on it???? what the h*ck
suspicious??? about.... what???? having fears???? not being perfect?????
juni that was awful wording
JUNI WHAT DID YOU D O TO HIM
like i know what he DID but the way it plays out makes it seem like something significant
i thought his name was heavy meddle not.... deth metal???? thats how the subtitles spell it
hahah me
he sounds like bling bling boy
yeah ik im a fool thanks for reminding me
what are you gonna do??? kill juni????
POOR WORD CHOICE JUNI
oh he gives exactly 0 h*cks
a shoe doesnt make that sound
crack bugs?????
see thats why you dont mess with things
im a god among boys??????? what????
did you... kill them????????????
thats any australian person
theyre so stupid i love them
good i hate her
i thought the gunk just like... disappeared from the guitar but actually it shot off
he died... 😔
uhh.... yeah????? was it not obvious?????
me when i have 5 dollars
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herbalzee · 8 years ago
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Get to know me tag!!!
Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag
   1. headphones (always!)    2. at least 50 hair ties    3. a full bottle of perfume    4. free pens from like everywhere    5. lots of tissues lmao
Five Things In My Bedroom:
a fish tank! i love my lil fishies
shoe cabinet
a Moriarty (from Sherlock BBC) calendar of him saying “Miss me?”. I love it
a small yellow chair!  
a color-coordinated bookshelf!!!
Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:
learn sign language!
travel all over europe
write my own book
become a therapist
have kids!! and pets!!!
Five Things That Make Me Happy:
hanging with friends!!
listening to music, podcasts and ASMR
watching movies
doing artistic things?? idek what that means but like i love going to operas and theaters and taking aesthetic pictures and being creative, shit like that
talking, ranting, expressing my opinions comfortably, theorizing, brainstorming
Five Things On My To-Do List:
read books
hang with friends
write short stories- or write in general lmao
travel!!!
prepare for uni... i need to seriously do that
Five Things People May Not Know About Me:
i am passionate about psychology
i had an obsession with piercings and tattoos when i was younger
i had the yellow belt in karate when i was in practice
im very old school about silly things yet quite liberal about the serious stuff
im basically in love with malmo, sweden
Name?: zaina
Nicknames?: zee
Zodiac?: sagittarius
Sexual Orientation?: straight
Ethnicity?: middle eastern/ north african
Favorite Fruit?: mango!!!!
Favorite Season?: winter
Favorite Flower?: after a quick flower research, i found the soft pink spray roses and the blue hydrangea the most appealing to me
Favorite Scent?: vanilla! cocoa! banana-scented stuff (or generally fruit-scented stuff). old books!!! 
Favorite Animal?: bees!! or just any domesticated animals honestly (that can be kept at homes or farms)
Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: tea
Cat or dog?: dogs
Dream Trip?: a boat travelling all around western europe!!!
Number of Followers?: i dont really care about this stuff
What do I post about?: any posts containing message worth-spreading, funny content or aesthetically-pleasing stuff..
Do I get asks on a regular basis?: nope! so famous that i had to close my ask box 
Favorite Band?: twentyone pilots, little mix, imagine dragons, coldplay, hey violet, abba (almost forgot them omg)
Aesthetic?: cinematography, animals and nature, books and libraries, literally anything vintage, multicultures, feminism and femininity. i cant think of other stuff but im majorly into art
Fictional Character I’d Date?: john bender from the breakfast club!!!!
Hogwarts House?: ravenclaw
Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!
APPEARANCE:
I am 5'7" or taller
I wear glasses
I have at least one tattoo
I have at least one piercing
I have blonde hair
I have brown eyes
I have short hair
My abs are at least somewhat defined
I have or have had braces
PERSONALITY:
I love meeting new people
People tell me that I’m funny
Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me
I enjoy physical challenges
I enjoy mental challenges
I’m playfully rude with people I know well
I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it
There is something I would change about my personality
ABILITY:
I can sing well
I can play an instrument
I can do over 30 pushups without stopping
I’m a fast runner
I can draw well
I have a good memory
I’m good at doing math in my head
I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute
I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling
I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch
I know how to throw a proper punch
HOBBIES:
I enjoy playing sports
I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else
I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else
I have learned a new song in the past week
I work out at least once a week
I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months
I have drawn something in the past month
I enjoy writing
FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION
I do or have done martial arts
EXPERIENCES:
I have had my first kiss
I have had alcohol
I have scored the winning goal in a sports game
I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting
I have been at an overnight event
I have been in a taxi
I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year
I have beaten a video game in one day
I have visited another country
I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts
RELATIONSHIPS:
I’m in a relationship
I have a crush on a celebrity
I have a crush on someone I know
I have been in at least 3 relationships
I have never been in a relationship
I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them
I get crushes easily
I have had a crush on someone for over a year
I have been in a relationship for at least a year
I have had feelings for a friend
MY LIFE:
I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”
I live close at my school
My parents are still together
I have at least one sibling
I live in the united states
There is snow right now where I live
I have hung out with a friend in the past month
I have a smartphone
I have at least 15 CD’s
I share my room with someone
RANDOM SHIT:
I have breakdanced
I know a person named Jamie
I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce
I have dyed my hair
I’m listening to one song on repeat right now
I have punched someone in the past week
I know someone who has gone to jail
I have broken a bone
I have eaten a waffle today
I know what I want to do with my life
I speak at least 2 languages
I have made a new friend in the past year
Relationship status: single
Favorite color: purple, blue, green
Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick!!
Last song I listened to: hard times by paramore
Last movie I watched: The Boss Baby
Top three TV shows:
(btw these three tv shows are the only shows ive ever watched and actually finished lmao)
BBC Sherlock
Clique
Yuri! on ice
Top three characters:
These are the ones that came to mind first, not top favorites
Sherlock (Sherlock BBC)
Todd Anderson (Dead poets society)
Savannah Karlsen (Girl, interrupted)
rules: copy/paste and replace my answers with yours and tag people :^)
a - age: 17 
b - biggest fear: my actual biggest fear is too personal so im gonna say my second biggest fear: not achieving anything valuable in my life  
c - current time: 3 am lmao 
d - drink you last had: a peach detox lmao 
e - every day starts with: checking phone  f - favorite song: of all time or currently? ive never had an all time favorite but right now my favorite song is hard times by paramore (mainly the chorus bc its awesome) 
g - ghosts, are they real: only the ones in our heads 
h - hometown: a.d. 
i - in love with: psychology 
j - jealous of: productive people 
k - killed someone: ... 
l - last time you cried: literally yesterday..  m - middle name: dont have one  
n - number of siblings: eins (one) 
o - one wish: to be satisfied with who i am and what i have p - person you last called/texted: im talking to my friend on the phone right now as im doing this.. shes the one who so kindly guided me to these fun questions q - questions you’re always asked: “why are you so quiet?” “what major are you getting into and at which university?”  
r - reasons to smile: youre very much well and alive!!
s - song last sang: i was having a fetus 1d songs marathon at like 2 am the other day so... definitely the entire up all night album
t - time you woke up: these days.. 12 pm, bc im tired and its my holiday 
u - underwear color: ohhhh boi v - vacation destination: anywhere cold filled with warm people 
w - worst habit: procrastination 
x - x-rays you’ve had: the most recent one i remember is a chest x ray y - your favorite food: pasta 
z - zodiac sign: sagittarius
post a screenshot of my lock screen, home screen, and last song played
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RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.
I choose:
bbc sherlock
clique
yuri! on ice
The first character you loved:
ohhh, first was sherlock! then john almost 0.001 secs later
im pretty sure it was elizabeth. shes the cutest and i relate to her the most
probably Minako Okukawa, because shes so charming and funny
The character you never expected to love so much:
mrs hudson!!!!
louise!!! shes so smart and gorgeous and the least involved in the drama
yurio!!! i used to dislike him lmao but now hes my son
The character you relate to most:
molly hooper
like i said above, elizabeth!
ohh definitely yuri
The character you’d slap
john because sherlock suffered sooo much for him and opened his heart only to be abandoned because john is a naive idiot who still cant tell sherlock’s NOT a sociopath
SO MANY bc almost all of them did shitty things.. but the ones id slap right on sight are Alistair and the Steiner dude
ohmygod no, theyre all pure!! probably yurio bc that kid needs to love himself (but id immediately hug him right after)
Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference):
sherlock & john (one answer), mrs hudson, WIGGINS
holly, rachel, and fay (elizabeth and jude too)
the obvious trio: yuri, victor and yurio
A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:
mary lmao
alistair. i was a little suspicious of him but i liked him at the beginning bc he was cute and innocent. i HATE him now obviously
i love them all.. theres not a single one i dislike
A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:
ahahah mycroft
 uh georgia
christopher and JJ (but now i love them both so much)
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