#(ALSO perfectly possible that i'd find socializing less exhausting if i felt less duty-bound to sustain an audience-facing performance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aeide-thea · 1 year ago

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the thing abt third-wheeling is that like. it can in fact be totally fun and nice, when you like yr person very much and you like their person well enough and their person has to at least pretend they like you well enough? like. instant posse enlargement. casual camaraderie. etc

but there does always seem to come a point ime at which the couple will like. turn their focus inward and get quite externally illegible and i'll just immediately feel like 'ok but why am i still here then, i should remove myself so the two of you can consult without me having to like. whistle awkwardly'

like not even in a petulant way at all, to be clear, just that i end up feeling so strongly abruptly superfluous-to-requirements??? anyway clearly this is in large part if not entirely an ~rsd~ aka social trauma overreaction but. not my fave feeling

#i mean probably also mileage varies on whether impromptu closed one-on-one sidebars are unremarkable in a group setting #or in fact a little rude unless they're performed with the audience in mind and the actors cheating out #(in the theatrical blocking sense)#i do think historically when *i've* been the one in a relationship i've tried not to do that?#but it's also perfectly possible that i did & that it's just the sort of thing one never notices when one's on the inside of it #who knows #(ALSO perfectly possible that i'd find socializing less exhausting if i felt less duty-bound to sustain an audience-facing performance #for the duration of the interaction‚ & that frankly these moments are modeling a healthy self-focus i should imitate)#(who knows! certainly not yr local socially-isolated socially-phobic blogger…)

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