#((musical was at a t w o they can't do anything musical to save their life))

[beholdthemem]

AU where single mom Maple moves into a new apartment with Soda after the death of her husband.

She's been living with Chug's parents up until now, and she knows they'd be happy to let her and Soda stay there for longer, but she also knows they've been dipping into more and more their retirement savings to do it, and just can't have that on her conscience. 

She's offered a job in a new city and goes, because that kind of money doesn't come around every day, and she's going to ensure Soda is well cared for no matter what.

(And she'll be damned if she has to go crawling back to beg her own parents for help to do it.)

She finds a nice apartment for much cheaper than she could have hoped for, moves them in, is preparing to restart their lives-

...and then abruptly discovers that the reason she'd gotten the place so cheap is because it's haunted by a poltergeist.

Great.

She spends the next two days trying to aggressively exorcise the thing with methods she finds on the internet. None of them work, and the ghost does not seem to appreciate her trying. She bought SO MUCH SAGE trying to get rid of it, and it retaliates by disintegrating all of it in front of her and then spraying the powdered bits of it all over EVERYTHING.

Maple's getting more and more irritated and stressed out, because this is all she NEEDS, of COURSE just as things start looking like they might get better God shits in her dinner yet again, she just wants to get on with her life and take care of her daughter, doing this solo is hard enough as it is and now on top of all her normal childcare worries she needs to worry about the supernatural threatening her kid too?!

...until she walks into Soda's room one day and sees the ghost putting on a puppet show for Soda, starring all of her stuffed animals.

Huh.

Now that she thinks about it, in all the time they've been there- the ghost may move shit around, make weird noises and generally spookify the place, but... it never actually does anything outright dangerous or harmful. 

Hell, Soda seems absolutely delighted.

Interesting.

That evening, after she puts Soda to bed, she decides to call a truce. No more exorcisms and anti ghost shit, as long is it stops messing with her stuff and waking her up in the middle of the night with scary noises. Okay, Ghost? This... satisfactory? Are we good here? 

There's no response at first, and then she feels a strange change to the air- the sort of sensation you get with static electricity, almost- and she sees writing appear on the wall in what had better only LOOK like blood:

M Y  N A M E.  I S.  L A R R Y.

"...okay. Larry. We good?"

Y E A H.

And just like that, Maple’s co-parenting with a ghost.

C A L L  D O C T O R  A T  T H R E E.

“Shoot. I’d forgotten all about that. If they put me on hold for another two hours can you curse them or something?”

I M  D E A D,  N O T  A  W I Z A R D.

“What, ghosts can’t curse people?”

N O.

“Have you ever tried?”

. . . N O. . .

----

L. A. R. R. Y.

“Okay, Soda, what does that spell?”

“L... L... Lawwy!”

: D

------

“The neighbors are threatening to call the police on us if you play your music for more than three hours again.”

M A Y B E  T H E  C O P S.  S H O U L D  A R R E S T  T H EM.  F O R  C R I M E S  A G A I N S T  T A S T E.

“LARRY-”

------

“I love her so much and I try so hard, but I don’t know what I’m doing. Some days I feel like she’d be better off with anybody else but me.”

N O T  T R U E.

“It feels true.”

N O T  T R U E.  L O V E  M A T T E R S.  Y O U ‘ R E  A  G O O D  M O M.

“Thanks, Larry.”

[luli-luz]

Me from A-Z

Tagged By: @wordsfly-writes-ff @sempr-gumby and I'm only like three weeks late 😅

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

A - Age: 26

B - Birthplace: Buenos Aires, Argentina

C - Current Time: 11pm

D - Drink You Last Had: Water

E - Easiest Person To Talk To: That's a tie between my boyfriend and my cousin (she's one of my best friends). They're both funny and awesome, and I can talk about anything with them, whether serious or ridiculous. And when they're together it's ❤️💕

F - Favorite Song: This is really random, but it's either The Way by Fastball or Hotel California by The Eagles. (I love songs that tell stories 😊)

G - Grossest Memory: When my brother came back from a trip to Brazil, he realized he had some type of tiny worm / parasite in his feet, and I had to help him pull them out.

H - Horror Yes or Horror No: Yeeees! But, no gore just for the sake of it. Suspense and ambiance👌

I - In Love: Very much 😊

J - Jealous Of People: I think not. The closest I can think of is admiration for single-minded people, because I tend to be all over the place and take so long to do anything.

L - Love At First Sight or Should I Walk By Again: Nah, I don't think you can love someone without knowing them.

M - Middle Name: Luz

N - Number of Siblings: Two brothers and one sister, and we all get together constantly. Can't fight the Italian genes.

O - One Wish: I was going down a rabbit hole of profound humanity-saving wishes until I realized this is a silly game, so: a jar of Nutella.

P - Person You Called Last: My boyfriend (I bet you're thinking "Alright, enough with that dude!" 😂)

Q - Question You’re Always Asked: I feel like it's "how were your exams?" but I think that's only in my head.

R - Reason To Smile: Dogs! Family. Food.

S - Song You Sang Last: Since I read the title of this game, From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z from the Simpson's Planet of the Apes musical 😂

T - Time You Woke Up: Around 8am

U - Underwear Color: Black

V - Vacation Destination: I hope Italy someday

W - Worst Habit: biting my nails when I'm stressed.

X - XRays: Last week, dental

Y - Your Favorite Food: Pasta (which is totally cheating because I'm covering anything from spaghetti to gnocchi to ravioli to lasagna + sauces)

Z - Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Tagging: I took so long to do this (and haven't been on tumblr) that I don't know who has done it already 🙁 but I'd love to know everybody's answers.

[megamind-masterofallheroism]

What a great idea! BE A HERO, NOT A HAL!!! Oh, it's GENIUS!!! Not as genius of an idea as all of mine are, of course, but you're pretty close!! And, oh, this is going to go FAR beyond t-shirts!! There will be coffee mugs, posters, stickers! Even undergarments!!! I'LL MAKE A FORTUNE!!! -- So will you and Minion! I'm a hero, now, so I wouldn't keep it all to myself ~ selfishness is next to wickedness, as they say! I will be giving each of you a whopping 1% of the total profit!!!

(And ya know, just thinkin. This will teach all buyers a very important lesson -- "Don't use your sudden superhero abilities to destroy entire cities!")

((Ooo, you know what?? Once this has taken off, I'll finally be able to save for those new boots Roxanne seemed interested in! Can you imagine the look on her face when I surprise her with them? She'll be so EXCITED! I have a feeling she's been wanting to see me in that specific pair for some time, now.))

Oh, my incredible idea!! I'll tell you all about it, dear fan! And the, uh, the haunted house for charities -- yes! that was my NEXT idea!! But my FIRST idea, well, it DOES involve bringing the dead back to the world of the living, but not quite like you've imagined. No... my plan is this:

ROBOTICIZING the dead!!! I call them...

⭐ROBO-PEEPS!!!⭐

I've started with ALBERT EISTEIN!!! I'm a big fan. Oohh, I can't type another word! I shall complete my response after I've built him!!

OKAY! I return! So, I've stored everything Einstein ever made, all footage that was ever recorded of the man, onto a BRAIN DISC!!! I then built his robotic form from scratch (and I must say, he bears a STRIKING resemblance to the cherished genius) and inserted said BRAIN DISC!! HE LIVES ONCE AGAIN!!! HE LIIIIVES!!! hE LIIIIIIIIIVESSS!!! LOL! AND I SHALL DO THE SAME WITH YOUR LITTLE HOBBIT CREATURE, FRODO!!! FRODO LIVES INDEED! LOL!!

BRB!!

BACK! Frodo does seem melancholy, might have to REMOVE some of those memory files --

POOP?! well, this is just embrassing. It also explains why Minion kept insisting I give my instrument another name... and it explains the laughter. Roxanne's laughter, specifically.

W o w WHY DON'T THEY TELL ME ANYTHING?!?! HAVE THEY BEEN LAUGHING AT ME THIS WHOLE TIME???

Clearly I'll have to move onto other musical instruments. I won't live this down, otherwise. Hmm... what about bass guitars and drums? No, BUMTAR will only result in more ridicule. Perhaps trombones and flutes? MEGA TUTES? That might work!! I could even make them more helpful by using my 🧠🧠🧠 to alter the frequency of the musical notes -- designing them to vibrate so powerfully that it'll knock any ill-minded opponents off their feet!!

I know you told me not to ask, but... WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE PUT FECAL MATTER ON THEIR FACE?!!??!

Oohh, Einstein is stealing all of my eggs! AGAIN. Must go! Ciao!!

⚡MEGAMIND ⚡

Hello, Megamind, I'm quite a fan--in case the user name didn't make it obvious enough--and I love your Gothic/Metal style. I'm curious, however, do you have the musical skills to match your hard rocker look? If so, what instrument(s) do you play? (And have you ever considered giving Music Man some pointers, because, seriously, enthusiasm is great and all, but dear Gods he needs help.)

Ollo! 😃 Why, yes, I do have musical skill, my dear fan, and it is EXCEPTIONAL!!!1 I play an instrument of my own creation..... half guitar, half piano! I call it...

⭐The GUANO!⭐

You know, I told Music Man that we'd make a fantastic musical duo but he, unfortunately, prefers flying solo. Foolish, I know. Together we'd be unstoppable!!

[choisgirls]

Okay so let's pretend that the RFA were able to talk to their respective MC in a language besides Korean so they've been assuming for the longest time ever that MC can't speak Korean. One day, they come home and hear her singing a song creepily in Korean and once they find her she's just laughing her ass off. How would the RFA react? I'm sorry I just have a sudden urge to see someone write this if your requests aren't open feel free to disregard this~

A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long omfg ;A; But I hope I got what you were talking about??? ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

               -Sinceyou didn’t start out speaking Korean in the chatroom, he just assumed youcouldn’t

               -OOOOOA FOREIGNER, YOOSUNG IS HYPED

               -Afterthe two of you got close, he came home early from his classes one day- notknowing you were in your shared home

               -He wasin the middle of changing, shirt halfway over his head, when he noticedsinging?

               -It wasa standard Korean lullaby, but it was being sung quiet and very slowly

               -HEACTUALLY GOT SO SCARED THAT HE GOT STUCK IN HIS SHIRT

               -Triedto run out of the house, thinking it was a ghost, but ran into the wall-resulting in him falling on his ass

               -Youpull the shirt off his head, asking if he was alright

               -“MCWE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE, THERE’S A GHOST!!!! A G H O S T!!!”

               -He’sup on his feet, trying to drag you out of the house yoosung what about yourshirt

               -“Aghost? What do you mean? What makes you say that?”

               -“Ijust heard someone sing this lullaby all slow and creepy and we just, WE GOTTAGO”

               -Superconfused when you bust out laughing

               -omgyou weren’t laughing at the fact he had no shirt on, were you???

               -“Thatwasn’t a ghost, I was singing!”

               -Onesecond, two seconds, three seconds…. ding! Light bulb!

               -“Youlearned a Korean lullaby? When did you do that?”

               -“Uh,years ago. When I learned Korean. Didn’t you know that?

               -whenyou fuckin’ WHAT

               -He iscompletely mindblown to find out you speak Korean??

               -Thoughnow he’s really embarrassed aboutjust assuming you didn’t know the language

               -Superhappy to talk in either language, it makes him feel cool tbh

               -iscompletely pissed off when he finds out you sent a video of him running intothe wall to saeyoung

*ZEN:

               -Healways asks for an extra copy of his scripts in *insert mc native languagehere* so you can practice with him!!

               -Younever understood why he did that, maybe he was just trying to be nice?

               -But healways did that with you? With everything?

               -AnyDVD’s, CD’s, absolutely anything he brings home is in your native language

               -Doeshe think you’re more comfortable that way?

               -Obviously,you appreciate it but it’s kind of like…..

               -There’sno need to go so out of his way to do all of that for you!

               -Oneday, you were taking a shower and decided to sing one of the songs from hismost recent play

               -Youlove Zen and love that he’s happy with his career but god daMN THAT SONG ISSTUCK IN YOUR HEAD AND YOU ARE BEYOND DONE WITH IT

               -So youmade fun of it by singing ridiculously, trying different voices, tones,anything you can think of

               -All ofa sudden, the bathroom door is thrown open, slamming against the wall

               -"MCIS THAT YOU?? ARE YOU SINGING LIKE THAT?? HAVE MY WORDS TOUCHED YOU SO DEEPLYTHAT YOU KNOW THEM BY HEART, DISPITE THEM BEING IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE?”

               -Youjust poke your head out of the shower to stare at him, watching as he starts totalk to himself about how beautiful his voice must for you to have learned itso quickly

               -“Doyou know the meaning??? I can give you a word by word translation!! Do you wantthat? DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT?”

               -“No?I mean, yeah… You play it all the time… because you’re learning it but Iknow the words on my own, thanks sweetheart”

               -You???Knew what the words meant??

               -Hejust kind of stares at you in disbelief before you roll your eyes and return totaking your shower

               -“Zen?Why are you still here? Go aw-” “YOU CAN SPEAK KOREAN”

               -Yousigh and agree that yes, you can speak Korean, and you’ve been able to thiswhole time

               -Hestarts crying??? What in the world???

               -“ICANNOT BELIEVE I DIDN’T KNOW THIS ABOUT MY LOVE! I’M A TERRIBLE MAN, DON’T LOOKAT ME, MC!” not looking at you anyway, zen, tryna shower here

               -“Savethe drama for your play later, sweetheart. It’s alright, I just never saidanything about knowing another language”

               -Literallyspent most of the rest of the day just pouting and feeling terrible that henever knew. You have to comfort him often because it was something neither ofyou ever really brought up way to go mc ya broke ya boyfriend

*JAEHEE:

               -Afterworking for Jumin for so long, she’s unfortunately learned to assume if youlook foreign, you might not speak other languages

               -Soshe’s already assumed you speak only your native language, so she automaticallyaccommodates to your needs

               -Thoughyou…. don’t need it??

               -Youfigured that she wanted to make things easier for you, which you appreciated,but you wanted to make things easy for her too!!

               -What’sfunny is that you’ve talked to her late at night, after she’s been up for days,in Korean so that it’s easier for her mind to process what you ask

               -Didshe pick up on it? Not at all. poor tired bby, someone help her

               -Sodespite the fact that you leave notes for her written in Korean, she just…hasn’t…. noticed?

               -Becauseshe still talks to you in your native tongue

               -Seriously,you’ve tried everything to make it blatantly obvious that you could speakKorean

               -Theeasiest way to tell her that, ‘hey, i don’t need you to translate convos forme, i promise’ is to just straight up tell her

               -Exceptyou didn’t get a chance to?

               -Youwere sweeping the house one day, belting out one of Zen’s songs from his latestmusical

               -Gettinginto it, you dance with the broom, dipping it dramatically

               -Duringyour dip though, you look up to find Jaehee standing in the doorway, at a lossfor words

               -“Oh…so.. you really do speak Korean.. I wasn’t going crazy, then”

               -SHELOOKED SO EMBARRASSED THAT YOU COULDN’T HELP BUT FEEL BAD

               -“I,um, I apologize for just assuming that you-”

               -Youcut her off when you pulled her into a quick dance around the living room,singing the previous song all over again

               -With aswift motion, you dipped her like you did the broom

               -Aquick peck to her lips sent her over the edge and she burst into giggles

               -“You’rea much better dance partner than the broom” you tell her in Korean, with awiggle of your eyebrows

               -Shepushes you away from her and laughs as she leaves the room, calling over hershoulder

               -“Maybeyou should learn a few more songs there, MC”

*JUMIN:

               -Alsoguilty of just assuming you only spoke your native language

               -Alsonever bothered to ask

               -Youdon’t even bother to tell him though because you’re lowkey salty about it

               -Like???He didn’t even ask???

               -Youlove him and all, but it’s been… how long? And he never even bothered to asKYOU IF YOU KNEW HIS LANGUAGE

               - damnmister trustfund kid

               -Butit’s actually really funny because he talks to Elizabeth in Korean

               -So hethinks you don’t know how much he’s praising her, or baby-talking her

               -ButyouKNOW

               -Andyou’re left wondering why he doesn’t talk to you like that sometimes

               - goddamn cat getting all the attention (kiDDING I LOVE U ELLY)

               -Butlet’s be honest, you love her just as much and do the same exact thing

               -Infact, you love to sing to her! And she loves it too!

               -Sheturns into a freaking motor box when you sing, she loves it soo much

               -So yousing to her every day, it makes her happy, makes you happy, everyone is happy

               -Oneday, you were singing to her, but Jumin actually came home early??

               -So heheard you singing too, and just sat down quietly next to you

               -Waitedpatiently until you finished the song before speaking

               -“So,you sing to Elizabeth?”

               -“Everyday, sweetheart! You just happened to catch the show”

               -Immediatelythought about asking Saeyoung to install some hidden microphone or something tocapture you singing every day

               - thatisnt creepy at all, dude

               -With aslight tilt of his head, he looked at you, eyes full of question

               -Youhad to fight the urge to kiss his cute little face, but it was worth it

               -“So,MC? You can speak Korean? Not just *insert native language here*?”

               -Younodded in agreement, looking down at Elly, petting her with a smile on yourface

               -“I’veknown this whole time… *pulls Elly up to face* But SOMEBODY *kisses Elly’snose* Never bothered asking. Did he? No, no he didn’t! He didn’t, did heElizabeth??”

               -Youshot him a side glare, watching as his face twisted into slight embarrassmentand back to a playful one before getting up to leave the room

               -“It’sokay, MC. I’ll test out how well you can pronounce those Korean words latertonight.”

*SAEYOUNG:

               -HeloVED your aCCENT

               -So hespoke to you in your native language just so he could hear it

               -Did heknow you could speak Korean?

               -Yeahprobably

               -DID HECARE? I’m hearing “no”

               -Did heremember, a long time later, that you could speak Korean?

               -Again,I am going with no

               -He’salways thinking about god knows what all the damn time so it isn’t surprisingthat he forgot you spoke Korean all together

               -Infact, you were hoping he did forget you spoke Korean, or your new plan wouldn’twork out how you wanted it to

               -Yousee, you and Saeyoung like to prank each other like crazy, but his last onereally irked you

               -(Imean come on??? Who in the world thinks it’s funny to sneak a permanent markerinto your pants pocket when you do laundry??? That rUINS YOUR CLOTHES)

               -So,you decided that revenge was in order, and you wanted nothing more than to scarehim to death

               -Aftera long set up with a creepy life-size doll trapped to an rc car, a couple ofspeakers hidden, and a ton of hidden cameras, you were ready for him to comehome

               -Whenhe got into the room and noticed the girl standing in the corner, heimmediately noped the hell out and tried leaving

               -Butyou locked the door! There is no escaping sweet revenge!

               -Youstarted to sing little kids nursery rhymes through a microphone, it comingthrough the hidden speakers broken and ominous

               -“noPE!NOPE NOPE NOPE. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU? I KNOW HOW TOFIGHT LITTLE GIRL, I’M NOT AFRAID TO KICK YOU IN THE FACE”

               -So youkept singing, stopping only to ask him to come play, in child-like voice

               -“NOI DON’T WANNA PLAY, JESUS CHRIST, SOMEONE LET ME OUT”

               -Youdecided to chase him around with the doll, using the wireless controller fromthe other room

               -Youdidn’t know he could scream in such a high pitch, I swear to god, dogs fromaround the world could hear it

               -He wasgetting out of that room, then and there. He broke down the door. Ran down thehallway and heard you laughing from another room

               -Hedidn’t even think about why you were laughing, he just jumped onto your lap,and latched onto you, hugging tight and burying his face against you

               -“MC!THERE’S A CREEPY DEMON CHILD IN THE OTHER ROOM IT’S CHASING ME, MC PLEASEPROTECT ME”

               -Butyou couldn’t even reply- you were laughing too hard. He looked around and sawyour set up of monitors, wireless controller, and microphone

               -Helooked up at you with a ton of mixed emotions

               -Firstof all he was still a little freaked out?? But he was also kinda pissed offthat you scared the hell out of him! But he’s also in awe that you set all thisup… and so in love with how hard you’re laughing…

               -HEDOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO F E E L

               -Takesa second to think about the situation and suddenly remembers

               -“Wait…you can speak Korean… I TOTALLY FORGOT YOU COULD DO THAT? WHAT THE HELL MC, ITHOUGHT YOU WERE SOME CREEPY LITTLE GIRL”

               -Yougive him an innocent smile, but based on the look he gave you once he stood upand walked away

               -He wasprobably going to use that fact against you for his revenge prank, and youweren’t positive you wanted to know what that was going to be

 *V:

               -Offthe bat, he asks which language you’re more comfortable speaking in

               -Whenyou said your own native language, he understood, and tried his best to accommodatefor you!

               -Eversince then he’s always making sure he can translate things for you, whether itbe signs or casual conversation

               -Youknew Korean but didn’t know if you were a strong enough speaker, which is whyyou initially told him you were comfortable with your first language

               -So,you secretly were testing out your language skills every time the two of youwent out!

               -Whenhe translated for you and you had gotten it right in your head, you were soexcited!

               -But hedidn’t know that ’s what you were doing??

               -Hejust always saw you light up and smile softly to yourself and it made him weAK

               -Was itbecause he was translating for you??

               -Didn’tknow exactly, but was definitely going to keep doing whatever he was doingbecause that loOK

               -IT WASSOOO PRECIOUS

               -But hefelt bad that he couldn’t go shopping with you one day because he had somepeople he had to see

               -Whatif you couldn’t read the signs?? What if you couldn’t talk to the people?? WhAtIf-

               -So he triedto make his meetings go as quickly as possible without being rude

               -And heran to meet you at your favourite coffee shop, where he knew you’d stop first!

               -As hewalked up behind you, getting ready to surprise you and order for you, he tooka step back when he heard you ordering perfectly fine in Korean

               -Youeven made small talk with the barista! In perfect Korean!

               -Whenyou turned around with your coffee, he stared at you in surprise, but he scaredthe shit out of you! You almost dropped your coffee!

               -“V!Hey! You scared me…. I thought you had to go meet a few people? Did somethinghappen? Are you alright?”

               -Youasked. In perfect Korean. Why did you doubt your language skills??

               -“Ithought you only knew *your native language of choice*? So I haven’t needed totranslate for you this whole time?”

               -Youcould see the disappointment in his eyes as you quickly shook your head (andhands) in embarrassment

               -“Nono no no, you asked me in the beginning if I was more comfortable with mynative language, which I am! I know Korean but I was afraid about gettingsomething wrong, so I really appreciated all of your translations! They help memake sure I’m learning and getting it all right!”

               -Explainingit to him was definitely the smart move because you watched as he went from sadpuppy to ecstatic pup knowing that he was able to help you learn new things andsolidify what you already knew!

               -Fromthen on, he always tries to let you figure it out first, then help you if youneed it!

               -Was heembarrassed that he always translated when you didn’t need it? Yes

               -Did heget over it quickly? Also yes. He’s a precious tol bean. He is alright withthis revelation.

*SAERAN:

               -Alsoknew from the start that you knew Korean

               -Hetalked to you from the beginning in Korean so he knew afterwards that you’dknow

               -Notlike you all of a sudden lost your knowledge on a full language….right?

               -Thatbeing said he just plain refuses to let you pretend like you can’t speak himlanguage

               -Everytime you try to talk to him in your native language he just kind of looks atyou with absolutely no emotion

               -“Hi,MC, speak in a language I know please, thanks”

               -Likeseriously

               -Thisman does not let you have any fun with it at all

               -Youeven tried to fake some sort of amnesia, too

               -To like,pretend you forgot how to speak Korean so he’d have to talk to you in yournative language

               -Did itwork? No

               -Hejust stared at you like you were stupid

               -He’ssuch a jERK

               -WHYCAN’T YOU JUST PLAY ALONG, SAERAN. JUST GIVE ME THIS ONE THING

               -Youeven try to mess with him in public

               -Youask him to order some food for you, asking him in your native language

               -Thecashier is confused but Saeran just stares at you

               -Hecompletely understands what you say, despite pretending that he doesn’t

               -Turnsback to the cashier and tells them that you’re getting nothing

               -WAITSAERAN PLEASE I WANT FOOD TOO

               -Untilthe day he slips up and responds to a question you ask him in your language

               -Youcelebrate, including a victory dance

               -Hejust curses at himself for messing up and letting you win

               -Thoughhe does think it’s really cute that you’re thisexcited about winning

               -Maybehe should let you win more often thAT WONT HAPPEN

[goodieghostyarchive]

Can't really read that when your blog is set to automatically redirect to the dashboard and use the sidebar version, which doesn't open readmores (or is that a blog-specific glitch I occasionally get?)

I’m on mobile and a buddy says the read more works, maybe right click and open in new window? Unless you’re not on desktop.

eh I’ll just paste it here, warning, it’s a lot and rlly rough lol. Also probably a glitch

——————–Nora’s eldest daughter-Theodosia-felt threatened when she(Fiona) was born so at the first opportunity she kidnapped her and locked her away in a tower. That was when Fiona was really young, she was lead to believe-by Theo-that the castle was under attack and that they had to hide away. And now she believes that the kingdom was destroyed, Nora was killed, and that there’s a bloodthirsty king and his bandits out for their royal blood.

She loves fairytales and would beg for Theo to bring her some from her trips out of the tower. Now she has her own personal library.

One day-when she grew old enough and her tail got fckin long as all hell-she managed to climb down the tower. She explored a little-and then climbed back up before Theo arrived. And Theo knew right away what she had done since she was covered in grass-and y'know, giant snake trails had p much flattened the grass all around the tower so.

And that’s where that pointy tail cuff comes into play. It’s digging into her scales and as she’s /still growing/ her tail’s starting to grow around the spikes. If she really, really wanted to she could try and pull it off-if she wanted to potentially lose a good portion of her tail.

She’s in a lotta pain and uses all kinds of numbing herbs and what not to /try/ and help.

Now she knows that her sister’s… off. She just can’t say anything or you know, she’ll probably lose her only source of food. Or end up dead.

The song “I know it’s today” from the Shrek Musical really suits her tbh.

(Lil sad snippet because I just thought of this and if I gotta feel bad so do you guys)

Fiona was almost saved once-well, that’s what /she/ thinks anyhow. So Theo hires people to keep the tower in order and deliver food to Fiona, and to also make sure no one tries anything like ‘saving’ Fiona. There’s at most two guards there at any given time. Theo is away a /lot/. She’s trying to build her own kingdom and that takes time and connections.

There are multiple levels to the tower and Fiona has access to the top three. The two above the third “bottom” level is like-imagine a shelf? Kinda open so she doesn’t have to worry about doors in her space, not a Lotta corners-i’m off topic.

Anyways-so one of the new men that was hired-this is important, so prior to being hired he and his w i f e were trying to have a child. Only she’s unable. So he goes to the village-idk what they’re called. The people that the rest of the village go to for advice and spells??? But they’re-a witchdoctor maybe??? Whatever-so he goes, and she says, “There is one sure way for you to ever sire a child, you must lay with a serpent.” “… Do you mean slay-” “No you ninny! Lay! You must lay with a serpent! And when she gives her heart to you will you be blessed with the gift of life.”

Where’s he supposed to find a serpent to nail?? He doesn’t know, so he goes to a tavern to drown his sorrows. That’s where he’s recruited by Theo.

Now the village and the tower is like, maybe a two week trip by carriage.

He gets there, Theo leaves. He gets curious and investigates the upper floors. Then he sees Fiona: a serpent lady.

What a lucky break

So he lays on the charm. And mind you Fiona is a shy gal, and she’s never interacted with anyone other than her sister(and she reads so many romance novels and fairytales) so after say, a month she tells him that she loves him, they bone-and then he’s gone.

He went back to the village and immediately boned his wife. He waited-and after like, a lotta love making and several months he finds the witch doctor and says “You lied to me.” “Me?! A liar?!” “I laid with a serpent and my wife remains barren.” “And what of the serpent? Hm-maybe you /were/ supposed to slay the serpent. This old mind of mine…”

So he goes b a c k to the tower in the night, says Theo told him to take over, and sneaks into Fiona’s room. And he’s got his dagger out, ready to kill himself a serpent, when she moves in her bed and it’s revealed that she has an egg with her.

He doesn’t kill her, instead when she wakes up-and she’s pissed ofc-he tells her that Theo wanted him elsewhere. And she’s gullible, and you know-first love and all that, she’s ready to have herself a little family with this guy.

And then the baby hatches a month later. It looks completely human-only it has gold eyes. He takes it back to the village while she’s asleep.

Fiona is distraught. Theodosia comes back, Fiona tells her what happened. “So you’ve learned your lesson? I’ve told you dear sister, you can’t trust anyone outside these walls. But you can trust me.”

Now some Nora stuff since I bet you’re all curious about what momma’s doing during this

Like, okay she was kidnapped during a castle raid and she was lit a damn baby and the dragon that took her got shot out of the sky and so-now she’s on the ground next to this dead guy. And Kinder heard the noise and went to investigate​ like a curious bitch. Like “oh there’s a dragon bab” “what do” and just took her in and raised her as his own, but when she’s around 11 he catches wind of a kingdom filled with dragons matching her desc and he’s just “heeeeeeyyyy…” and he goes and checks it out, then he comes back and brings Nora with him because “these are your people and your culture”.

But the entire kingdom and their mothers know that the Queen had a missing emerald and diamond​ baby that would be around Nora’s age and next thing Kinder knows he’s being dragged off to see the Queen and he’s confused??? And the Queen explains and like-he didn’t exactly have a choice and h a d to give Nora over n she’s confused and scared like? Who’s this woman? Fuck her.

And she doesn’t see Kinder until she’s an adult and is allowed to leave-and h e e e e e re’s where it gets dramatic.

To preface: the dragons in the kingdom are all covered in gems. The more rare and precious they are the higher on the power scale they are. The gems can be removed for whatever reason. But certain gems are tied to certain things, such as abilities. There was a rumor that if a dragon wore the gems of a deceased dragon they will become crazed and start to crave m o r e gems. Like drug addicts n shizz.

And the Queen had just lost a son, and she fastened a few of his gems into a necklace to wear.

And she got b a t s h i t crazy

Obsessed with power.

Crazy paranoid.

And jealous of anyone and everyone.

So she started putting new laws in place. Crazy laws. And soon more than a third of the kingdom was locked away. Oh but they started running out of room. So she’d have their gems taken, and if you have no gems you’re practically a powerless, obedient husk. She’d store alllll the gems away. Nora knew this, but she didn’t want to be next as the Queen had already started turning on her other siblings

And Nora was starting to gain popularity with the people. She had a mate at the time and they were going to be wed. So everyone was talking about a grand wedding and Nora becoming the new queen.

Queen(her names Vivienne btw i just don’t wanna type it alot lol)didn’t like this and seduced Nora’s mate, then killed him. Nora was livid-of course-and claimed that come morning everyone would know.

So Queen snuck into Nora’s room as she slept and tore the gems from her back. And ye Nora woke tf up and punched the woman and had to McFuckin flee. But with her back all fcked just summoning her wings and shifting was painful. So by the time she was out of the kingdom she was exhausted.

Idk wtf happens during this, besides boring training n shizz, boom, she comes back and kills her mother, reclaims her gems, and becomes Queen. But this would be years after she fled. And her gems became tainted, so she began to get a lil batshit as well.

Only she k n e w. And she was able to fight it, but it got so tiring and she was always erratic with her emotions that she just tore the tainted gems from her and waited.

Then there was a human guy and she had Theodosia, and she loved Theo so much and spoiled her. But Theo was a b i t c h. An evil lil cunt. So when Nora had her next daughter, Fiona, Theo-now 16 by human standards and worried for her position for the throne-took her and locked her away in an old tower surrounded by a magic barrier to keep her in.

And Nora didn’t know, she thought Fiona was dead and gone. But when she found out-a whopping two hundred years later, when Fiona would be a young adult-she locked Theo away and demanded to be told where Fiona was.

Theo escaped. Nora never found out where Fiona was. She sent out countless parties to search for her.

So in she lost a father, several siblings, a mate, a mother, and two daughters.

Now onto the son Fiona had with that guard. He’s not all that ordinary. He talks to snakes and has an knack for getting himself in and out of trouble. He parents love him very much-and his mother is concerned about where her husband says he found him “I found him floating down the river” he says. She doesn’t buy it, but she loves the child like he was her own. And for all little Kandro(to be changed, maybe) knows he /is/ her son.

He likes fairytales just as much as her mother, he particularly likes the one about the maiden with the long gold hair locked away in a tower. Now, this village isn’t all human. No, there are minotaur and satyrs and all in between. He feels drawn to them-but his father doesn’t want him anywhere near “the likes of them”.

He does it anyways. He’s a lovable lad, everyone’s friend. Always knows just what to say.

And then Nora’s search party makes it to the village. They have posters made from a description a seer gave them(“she looks like this and she’s in a tower” “what tower” “a tower in a forest” “which forest” “I can’t tell you that, I’m a seer, not a tour guide.”)-and his father is quick to turn pale. But then he hears of the reward for her safe return. And suddenly he’s a greedy Lil shit, goes right up to them and says “I know where she is”

Kandro sneaks into the carriage because “I want to see the princess”. Ah, there’s that adventurer in him. Course he’s found about half way there, but they can’t just turn him back on his own so they let him stay. His father’s upset about it, but hey it’s not like he remembers Fiona anyhow-only in a way he /does/. Kandro knows Fiona’s scent, he just k n o w s. Like-she’s imprinted in his mind.

When they get to the tower there are guards-and they’re dispatched p fckin quickly. And Kandro was told to stay at the carriage but he’s thirteen, he don’t listen. So he runs up the stairs and bursts into Fiona’s room and blurts out. “I’m here to rescue the princess!”

And she’s startled-but then she sees his eyes and she knows. He knows. And she pulls him up in a hug and it’s sappy.

Nora’s men come in as well and everyone has to c o n v i n c e her that it’s safe to go outside and that Nora’s kingdom is safe and strong. They also tell her the truth about Theo. Fiona almost isn’t surprised, “I guess a part of me always knew…”

The guards have to remove the chain-they try the cuff but it’s stuck too bad and they don’t have the supplies for it. So she has to travel like that. And she does not let go of Kandro’s hand, they sleep together during the night and when they reach the village and his mother comes Fiona tells her just what her husband did.

So the lady’s livid, there’s a lot of yelling. The husband’s ashamed. But Fiona-after hearing his side-is like “I understand how you felt, you were desperate, but that doesn’t give you the right to use me or lie to your own wife.”

Woman ends up at a loss-but she asks “where are you taking my son?” “I’m taking him home… do you want to come?” “I… yes, please.” “You can tell me all about him and his adventures on the way.”

So they ditch the husband there-after putting him in the stocks to be publicly shamed n what not.

The wife-I’m calling her Matilda-ends up being a very close friend and her and Fiona raise Kandro together.

“What kind of name is ‘Kandro’?” “Oh-Erwin picked it out. Always hated it. Never really fit… what would you have named him?” “Oh, please don’t laugh. I would have named him Charming.” *cue giggling* “I think that’s a much better fit! He’s always had a way with people!”

Kandro becomes ‘Charming’ and proudly says “I have /two/ mothers! Hah!”

[dccpindeceit-blog]

Top three intelligences for your muse  

TAGGED BY: @kalleudoxia TAGGING: literally anyone it’s a fun quiz

Language: You enjoy enjoy saying, hearing, and seeing words. You like telling stories. You are motivated by books, records, dramas, opportunities for writing. Effective techniques of enhancing your learning using your language intelligence include reading aloud, especially plays and poetry. Another idea is to write down reflections on what you've read. You may also enjoy exploring and developing your love of words, i.e., meanings of words, origin of words and idioms, names. Use different kinds of dictionaries.

Nature: You are sensitive to nature and environment. You probably know the names of rocks, flowers, birds, and trees. You love to be outdoors.

Self: You have a very good sense of self. You like to spend time by yourself and think things over. You will often take in information from another person, mull it over by yourself, and come back to that person later to discuss it. You like working on projects on your own. You often prefer to learn by trial and error. Effective techniques to enhance your learning include keeping a journal and giving yourself time to reflect on new ideas and information.