#(( I know I've been away but this is drop dead gorgeous!!!!! 🥺🥺

[space-helen]

Like Her

Words: 1601

Pairing: Fox Mulder x Reader

A/N: This is the longest thing I've written in a while and I enjoyed it so much!!

Request: Could I request a Mulder x reader where the reader has fallen in love with him but she is sure he doesn’t like her because he is always thirsting after like, those porn models in his magazines and stuff. Little does she know that he loves her just as much. Essentially just heavy angst to fluff with kisses 🥺 - Anon

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“No problem. Anytime.” the man said smoothly as he slid back into the driver's seat. 

You adjusted yourself where you sat and watched the woman walk away. She was drop dead gorgeous, beautiful on another level, just like the women you see in magazines. Ripping your eyes away from her you tuned back into where you were, turning towards Mulder to ask him a question you realised he was looking right at you, as if waiting for a response.

“I’m sorry, repeat that?” you said slightly embarrassed.

“Do you want to grab something to eat or head right back?”

You looked at the time, you’d been on a rough journey with the man, all practically for nothing. You were hot, tired, slightly sad and frankly ready to crawl back into bed.

“Lets drive as much as we can before one of us feels like their stomach might decide to eat itself. Then we can switch drivers.”

“I really don’t mind driving all of the way.” he looked sincere as he spoke.

You shrugged “Then lets hope neither of us get hungry or I’ll be hopping right behind the wheel.”

The man fought a smirk appearing on his lips and started the engine “Whatever you say Y/L/N.”

Leaning back into the seat you listened as the man spoke about the case but couldn’t help but let the sadness ebb and grow. This man, the man beside you, was sunshine to you. He’d helped you through a lot and you genuinely didn’t know what you’d do without him, sure he has his quirks, everyone does, but he really made you feel different. He made you feel seen and special, made you want to spend every moment you could with him. 

At the start you told yourself you wouldn’t put yourself through liking him. Well in some ways you’d kept that promise, you didn’t like him, you loved him. 

You knew he liked you as a friend. Heck a man who didn’t like you at all wouldn’t do any of the things he’d done for you.

Sighing a tear ran down your cheek and you quickly wiped it away but this didn’t go unnoticed by the man. Leaning forward you opened the glove compartment to check if the tissues you’d put in there were still there but a magazine slipped out first. 

Turning it over you were face to face with an image of an insanely beautiful woman. Quickly stuffing it back inside you almost slammed the glove compartment shut and sat back. Tears rolling down your cheeks almost uncontrollably. You weren’t hysterical though, they fell silently and naturally.

The man's heart dropped at the sight. He absolutely hated to see you this way but would always do anything he could to make you feel comforted. “Y/N.” he spoke softly as he continued to drive. Looking for a place to pull over.

Reaching a hand over he gently placed it on your shoulder as he kept the other on the wheel. “What’s the matter huh?”

Your heart felt heavy. A multitude of things had brought on the tears but having the man you were crying about try and make it better hurt a little more. “I’m ok.”

“You’re clearly not.” he pulled the car over and turned to you but you tried to face the other way.

“You’re never like this when you’re upset. What’s wrong? " His voice was calm.

A sob left your body and you could feel it trembling, it was silly, it really was but you couldn’t help it.

The man was out of the car in an instant. He quickly moved around the car and opened your door, crouching down in the space he looked up to you and comfortingly took your hand. “Y/N, please, speak to me.”

You could feel the warmth of his hand around yours, even though you were way too warm you really didn’t mind.

“I’m just overwhelmed.” you hoped that would suffice.

“Talk to me.”

“I’m hot, tired, and my heart just hurts ok?” you were done with it all. You could always find another, less fulfilling job elsewhere.

“We can fix two of those things right now. Take your jacket off, we can go and find some cool water and you can nap in the car.” he offered “Why does your heart hurt?”

You let out a huge sigh “I love someone who’ll never love me back. He’s way too interested in model girls, and sure, I really don’t blame him. I could never compare to them.” you weaseled your hand from his and used both of them to wipe your tears “I’m just being silly. Let's go.”

“No.” His voice was soft yet firm. “You’re better than any of those models and he’d be dumb to not see it.”

Your eyes burned and you felt a laugh bubble though “Try telling that to him huh?”  you looked at him and his eyes met his “If only you knew.”

He brought his hand up to your face and pushed some hair behind your ear whilst he took one of your hands in his other. “Is it Clive?” he looked at the floor as he spoke, not really wanting the confirmation.

“It’s you.” your voice was practically a whisper.

His head snapped up, his eyes meeting yours again. Had he just made that up in his head? “What did you say?”

You tore your eyes from his “I’m sorry, forget about it. It’s nothing.”

“Did you say it was me?” 

“Leave it.” you took your hand from his.

“I feel the same about you.”

You looked towards him “What?”

“I like you, well more than that, as well.”

“Don’t mess with me Mulder, you don’t need to just because I’m upset. I know you like me as a friend but-”

“I mean it.”  His voice felt like it echoed for a second. 

“But, I’m seriously not your type.”

“What is my type then?”

You reached forward and pulled the magazine out “This.”

“Y/N” he sighed and took the magazine from you. “At one point in my life yeah sure. Not anymore. Old Sam gave it to me as a joke, you know he knows me from about ten years ago, give or take, he bought me one back then and again now as a joke.”

He walked away from you to the trash can and put the magazine inside before closing your door and returning to the driver's seat “I’m sorry. I really am. I’ve had a crush on you for a long time now. Since I first laid my eyes on you. I just didn’t ever think you’d feel the same. If I’d known-”

You nodded and faced the man “I’m sorry for being a bit emotional today.”

“Sorry? We’d never have known how we felt if you hadn't been.” 

You let out a slight laugh “Yeah, you could say that.”

“I really think we should at least try and grab some snacks and just do our best to do the journey in one.”

You mulled it over for a second “Sure. Then we can-”

“We’re not swapping. If I remember right, there's a gas station about ten minutes from here. We can grab snacks and then get back onto the road with me driving. You, however, will sleep.”

“I’m not-”

“You just said you were so don’t try and say you’re not tired.”

You smiled, your tears were drying up “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me again. I don’t deserve it for putting you through that.”

The ten minute drive went quickly, the two of you soon breaking out into conversation about the case and awful day that it’d been. Navigating the gas station quickly the two of you stood in line with your snacks. Even though you were practically in the middle of nowhere there was still a decently sized queue.

As the line got more condensed the man stood closer to you, practically pressed to your side yet behind you protectively.

Looking up towards the man your eyes met, the two of you sharing the moment before having to shuffle forward in the queue again. 

What took you by slight surprise was the feeling of the man leaning forward and placing a kiss to your head in an affectionate way. The way a long term couple would do subtly in public to show affection without embarrassing those around them

You felt warmth rush to your face and a smile break out on your lips. The man wrapped his arms around you subtly and you embraced them back before having to breakaway to move to the cashier.

The two of you beamed as you paid for the groceries, you insisted that you paid since Mulder was going to drive the rest of the way.

Sliding back into the car the two of you settled nicely. Mulder spoke about some sightings he’d been tracking and trying to stay up to date with in the United Kingdom. He knew it was unlikely that he’d never be able to investigate it but he was invested in the case.

He noticed that you’d gradually shortened your responses and that they’d become incredibly infrequent until you pretty much weren’t responding to him at all.

Quickly taking a look at you whilst he drove he could see that you were fast asleep. Training his eyes back on the road he let a sad smile form on his lips. 

He loved you more than anything and was hurt that he’d made you feel otherwise. He’d do absolutely anything to never see you that way again.

Tag List: (open) X Files: @discocactus-world

[just-here-for-the-moment]

Adira!!! You have broken me... I'm broken... and I don't know if there's enough softness and yearning to put me back together again...

My essay is below the cut so that I don't cause spoilers for anyone...

Okay, so.... First of all, how DARE you??🥺 I'm in waaaaayyyyy deeper with these characters than I ever imagined I would be back when you dropped the first installment of this masterpiece at our feet back in Kinktober of 2021.

Life was simpler back then... easier. I understood that this PATS massage therapist with his extra services was devastating to my heart rate and my arousal levels, and that I was going to get dehydrated if I didn't watch out before re-re-re-re-reading it... but emotional devastation, too??

I mean, I've been along for the entire ride, woman, I knew what I was getting into, but this is something ELSE entirely, and I am just shocked at your audacity and talent and skill and the way you just slipped that little knife in under my ribs and sliced my heart.

We got flashes, oh yes we did... we got glimpses (and in the interests of using supporting documentation but not weighing down this essay by citing every chapter, I will just point you all to Exhibit A, a passage from Truth or Dare: This is Enough for Now:

In his room he’s usually working his hands over you, working his body over yours–through yours. Stillness is for your sleeping, for his retreating, he does not come to stillness with clients.

Yet suddenly, he too could sleep here for a week. Wants to just let it all bleed out into the warm water. And he’s going around the hallways in his mind, manually shutting off all the alarms.

(Emphasis added on the last sentence because it lives in my head and surfaces about once per week, because it is masterful and devastating.)

ANYWAY... And now this installment?

Except you’ve earned his trust. He’ll tell you whatever you want to know. He should really shut the game down. Re-establish control.

Soon.

He’s thought long and hard about it. Had a drink with Shell. Thinks he understands where this is all going. He’s finally got a strategy.

Nope... he has no strategy, he only has slow panic. I've got popcorn ready. He's going to try to fool himself and he's gonna FAIL and I'm gonna CRY.

After coming across his note pinned to your refrigerator, that night has come back to haunt him with force... He’s left you on unstable ground. He can fix that.

NOPE!!! I'm like, AFRAID for him at this point!!! 🥺

He’s going to stabilize this whole thing right here, right now. Undo any damage he might have caused by getting carried away in the hotel. Take that night and make it part of your sessions. Give you back the therapist you’ve come to trust. Make it clear to you why he won’t overstep, why he wouldn’t ask you for anything more.

He’s going to take care of you like you deserve to be taken care of.

And he’s going to make sure you want to keep coming back to him… because he can’t bear the thought of losing his favorite client.

His favorite client.

No I'm crying already!!!! I can't handle this! I'm dead... You killed me, this whole chapter was insanely gorgeous and I'm dead. I'll be back for more when it's ready. Thank you.

Also adira, I have a question. I was reading GTTT2 because I couldn’t sleep and was sad, I remember the part about he didn’t stay at a massage place bc he got in too deep with a client, not verbatim I know. Does reader worth about that? Does she wonder if she’s another oops? Is it not actually what we think it is? It’s been on my mind since last night bc I hyperfocus. Obviously not required to answer if you don’t want to!! Just thinking my thoughts - magic

Hello, dear Magic.

I'm sorry you could not sleep, and I'm sorry you were sad, and I'm sorry this answer has been a while in coming. But I have been thinking thots about it.

Does Preciosa worry about being a repeat of his former oops? Not exactly. I'm sure she wonders about it, and I'm going to address that soon enough.

Pats, though, he's a different story. If anyone is worrying about it, it's probably him....

Truth or Dare: Unblurring the Lines, part 1 (GTTT PATS)

FANDOM: Calls - Apple TV (PATS is a character from ep. 3. “Pedro Across the Street.” This is not RPF.)

(gif by javier-pena)

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“Truth.” 

He’s not afraid of what you’ll ask him anymore. He understands how much you value this arrangement, appreciates that you’ve found a way to appease your curiosity, build a bond and yet gamify it with rewards. You make it playful, take the pressure off of what could otherwise be serious questions he really has no business answering. Except you’ve earned his trust. He’ll tell you whatever you want to know. He should really shut the game down. Re-establish control.

Soon.

He’s thought long and hard about it. Had a drink with Shell. Thinks he understands where this is all going. He’s finally got a strategy.

“It’s a pretty personal question,” you warn from the bed, laying on your side, head propped up on your elbow, one knee cascading down in front of the other, giving your hips a curve that confirms for him why artists so love the human form, “you might want to take your reward first.”

“And I might wear you out before you get to ask. So you’d better grab the chance now.” Pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it to the floor, he starts to work on his belt and zipper.

“Really. What did you have planned?”

He allows one corner of his mouth to pull up. “I thought we might try a little reenactment.”

“...Okay. Of what? The War of 1812?”

And then the other corner follows. “I was thinking we might run through the beats of that night in the hotel. You said something about this being a sacred space,” he slides in under the bed cover, “I thought we might bring that in. Include it. Let it exist here rather than out there.”

After coming across his note pinned to your refrigerator, that night has come back to haunt him with force, your mouth on him, taking you over and over with abandon...even allowing himself to curl around you in sleep. But he lost control there. Cringes when he realizes he should have respected you and allowed for that to happen in this sanctum. 

Not that you seemed to mind it, but these games you’ve been playing...you should be able to ask what you need to ask. He’s left you on unstable ground. He can fix that.

Curiously, the small smile you’d had melts away, and for a moment, he’s not completely sure what you’re thinking as you hold his gaze for a long moment.

But once you’ve moved under the sheets and got yourself cozied in–both of you as you were that night, chins drifting above the lip of the cover–you turn your head to meet his eye.

“Speaking of the hotel, you mentioned something in your note, something I’ve been curious about. Will you…” your gaze skips away, indicating that this question carries some level of difficulty for you, either in the subject matter, or the intrusion. “Will you tell me what happened with the client you got involved with?”

And when your eyes find his again, they deliver a shock of electricity through him. One he tries to dampen, ready to control its charge

“That’s tonight’s question?”

You nod. 

Yahtzee.

You’re right. It’s an extremely personal question coming from a client, but maybe not so much from you. You’ve already told him the story of your divorce, let him into your inner sanctum, so he’s been waiting for this reciprocal question from you. Banking on it, even. He just didn’t expect you to be so bold so soon. 

But then, you do tend to surprise him.

He’s going to stabilize this whole thing right here, right now. Undo any damage he might have caused by getting carried away in the hotel. Take that night and make it part of your sessions. Give you back the therapist you’ve come to trust. Make it clear to you why he won’t overstep, why he wouldn’t ask you for anything more.

He’s going to take care of you like you deserve to be taken care of.

And he’s going to make sure you want to keep coming back to him… because he can’t bear the thought of losing his favorite client. 

His favorite client.

This is the best way to accomplish this.

Best to keep it simple. Clinical. Lay it out on the table.

“I was going through a rough time, thought I was depressed and didn’t realize at first what was going on. She stared off as a regular massage client, but gradually, she got bold. Her advances started small, and I should have stopped things, but I was flattered and, admittedly, interested. Things escalated and we were overheard. Shell covered for me. Made up some pretty good explanations.”

Funny how he’s almost able to laugh about it now. At Shell. At her gall. 

Focus. Keep it professional.

“So I tried to explain to the woman that it couldn’t continue at work and she convinced me to see her outside of the clinic. We started dating. But I had trouble concentrating. My coworkers didn’t completely buy the cover story that Shell gave them and that was causing stress for everyone. Then things got worse, couldn’t stop myself from picturing what other clients might be like in the same situation. And the distraction went deeper than that…I’ll leave it there. But. I wasn’t being honest with them, I wasn’t fulfilling the promise I made to my clients. I couldn’t let that continue.”

Then he gets to the part that used to be hard for him to admit but that he’s come to embrace and accept now; it’s easy to tell you so warm beside him in bed, so open and attentive. So still. He’s come to like being still with you.

“Shell helped me realize I might need some therapy. That’s when I learned about my addiction and started working to control it.

“Well, once my girlfriend found out about that, she became increasingly suspicious and jealous and I wanted to make her happy, so I quit the clinic. It was okay for a while. But the therapy wasn’t helping me. And we took a step back from the relationship. At least that’s how I understood it.”

She….didn’t. 

Anyway.

“This thing I do now? Shell’s idea, as I’ve said. It was around then she helped me get started. And it was like finding my calling. I was helping others, I was helping myself. Everything fit. Everything except…her.”

Shit. Now what. A pang of guilt rips through him. He hadn’t thought this far ahead. He can feel himself wanting to backpedal. How to wrap this up without exhibiting anything too deeply vulnerable–

–but then, your face, so rapt and comforting, so much care–

“She found out. And it wasn’t good. I don’t think…”

--that it spills forth easier than he could have expected, never having said it out loud to anyone until this moment–

”I don’t think I’ve ever hurt someone like that before.”

Fuck.

That was…

Liberating.

But the look in your eyes is…concerned? Troubled? Unsure. He’s here to reassure you.

“And I don’t plan on doing it again. This is where my balance is. I’m honest to my clients about what I do.I just want people to leave here feeling better than when they arrived. I’m here for my clients. For you.”

“I see,” you respond, softly, quietly, a trusted voice beside him in bed. “And do you ever…regret that decision?”

He can’t help it. He leans forward and presses a light, lingering kiss to your lips. “Not at all.”

When you cling to his face and pull him deeper into the kiss he relaxes.

Truly relaxes.

Finally.

He’s made the lines clearer for you now. Put you at ease. And you know he will adhere to any boundaries you set. And you’ll continue to come to sessions.

And he won’t lose you.

He won’t lose you.

This is how he gets what he needs and keeps you feeling safe.

This is how he keeps you….

…as much as he can.

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To be continued...

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