#( sooo that's why this starter is rather vague )

[thebiiscuit-a]

      ❛ Woah-ho-ho!! That was so cool!! ❜ Eyes shine bright. Somehow, his wide smile manages to stifle what would easily become a giant wave of giggles. ❛ Can you do it again? Do it again!! ❜ ❨  @breakiitdown ; ♥!!  ❩

[quirkcounselor-asuka]

[Case number: OP-0090126-337 Examination recording number: 1 Physician/Psychiatrist: Asuka, Ayumu Recording date: Thursday, October 24th Recording time: 6:00 pm]  @ua-todoroki 

[It takes an especially long time to process Todoroki into the building. He's registered in and a number of people bustle him around, getting signatures, fingerprints, pictures for his ID card. It's a rather homey building, comfortable and soft in a way more reminiscent of a retirement home than a counseling building. Eventually, he's brought into a cushy little room, lined with couches and other furniture.

Barely seconds after he's brought in, Ayumu hurries inside, closing the door quickly behind them.]

AYUMU: Todoroki-kuuuun!! It is very nice to meet you, yes, please get seated and we can get started in a second!

[Shouto's underwater through it all.

He doesn't really hear what he's being told. It gets muddled and lost. He mindlessly does what he thinks he has to, goes where he guesses he's supposed to. His slowness isn't thoughtful, it's the opposite. He can't think and it's making everything worse, like the waters found a way into his head somehow.

Eventually, he's finally somewhere that feels more... solid. Or maybe he was told it was. He's not sure. His head slowly perks up at the sound of a new voice and he looks around for a seat, eventually pulling the closest one closer and sitting.]

SHOUTO: ...

[Finding a desk, Ayumu sets down a small stack of papers they were holding, huffing and sighing with curious delight as they attempt to straighten them for a moment. Then, seeming to decide that they're bored of that, they spin around to look at Todoroki.]

AYUMU: Hello! I'll be your main counselor here, my name is Ayumu Asuka, you can call me - well, whatever you like! I don't really care. This experience, all of this, is about you and what you want. You're pretty much the boss here, okay? I'm just here to be your guide during this journey!

[They sit down on a chair, drawing it closer to Todoroki and smiling brightly.] 

AYUMU: Do you have any questions? For me, about me and my work, maybe about the process? Or anything, you can ask about the sky if you really want to.. Up to you! Today's more an introductionary day, anyway, so~

[He watches and listens with a blank expression and dull eyes, not able to bring himself to actually care about what they're saying or doing.]

SHOUTO: ... I don't know. [He shrugs.] Barely know what's happening.

AYUMU: Oh! This is your first day of your villain preventation course! It's a form of rehabilitation but, like, before you're convicted of any crimes, pretty much.

[They smile at him for a moment.]

AYUMU: Do you know what day it is? Are you aware of who and where you are?

SHOUTO: ... Great... [He mumbles, dropping his head.] Yeah.

AYUMU: [A small nod.] You weren't looking forward to this day, I take it.

SHOUTO: Why would I.

AYUMU: It doesn't have to be a negative experience, Todoroki-kun. It's an opportunity to change and learn, that could be a very good thing!

SHOUTO: It's villain rehabilitation. [He snaps.] Do you know who my father is.

AYUMU: [A blink.] Of course I do...?

SHOUTO: He's going to kill me for this.

AYUMU: [A tilt of their head.] Literally or figuratively?

SHOUTO: ... [He drops his head further.]

AYUMU: ...? [They wait patiently for a moment.]

SHOUTO: ... I don't know.

AYUMU: If you're in danger, you can be protected...

SHOUTO: N-no... [He shakes his head.] No it's fine...

AYUMU: Hmmm... [They lean back to retrieve some of their papers from their desk.] Does asking for help scare you?

SHOUTO: [He shrugs.] ...

AYUMU: Well, you're obviously scared of something. Your father, obviously... [They drop the papers into their lap.] If you want to talk about him, we can. Or we can move on!

SHOUTO: [Another shrug.] ...

AYUMU: [They smile vaguely.] Mmmmmhm...

AYUMU: ... Do you consider your father to be the worst person in your life?

SHOUTO: Yes.

AYUMU: Worse than any villain?

SHOUTO: ... Yes.

AYUMU: [They sit back, almost looking impressed.] Huh...

SHOUTO: What.

AYUMU: Have you interacted with a lot of villains before? I know you've been involved in a few cases, as a hero, as... et cetera...

SHOUTO: Yes. I have. ...

AYUMU: Any of them make a lasting impression?

SHOUTO: ... Yeah.

AYUMU: ... Like?

SHOUTO:  ... [He thinks for a moment.] Um... there's one.

AYUMU: Yes...? [After a second.] Oh, you don't have to name names if that makes you more comfortable!

SHOUTO: ... It's fine.. he.. [He shrinks.] He's targeted me.. directly... for a while... it's not really....

AYUMU: ... Not really what?

SHOUTO: I don't know... public... part of my job...

AYUMU: ... What does that mean? I'm a little confused...

SHOUTO: ... He's been stalking and harrassing me.

AYUMU: [They frown at that.] Oh... That's terrible...

SHOUTO: .. It's been going on for a long time.

AYUMU: About how long?

SHOUTO: ... Months. I don't know. At least six or seven. Maybe more. Can't remember.

AYUMU: [A sad nod.] That's really terrible... I'm so sorry.

SHOUTO: It's fine.

AYUMU: ... Is that the worst of it, then? This villian and your father?

SHOUTO: ... What do you mean..

AYUMU: I mean, when you think of the evil you've encountered in your life, would you think of those two especially? Have they made the biggest impact on you?

SHOUTO: ... Yeah.

AYUMU: And have you ever felt like you've... changed?  Perhaps after everything that's happened to you... Do you ever feel like you’ve been affected in ways you can't really stop?

SHOUTO: ... [He nods, slowly at first.] Yes...

AYUMU: Like how? No judgements...

SHOUTO: ... I'm a sex addicted maniac.

AYUMU: Maniac? That's an interesting word to call yourself...

SHOUTO: Is it.

AYUMU: Why do you use it?

SHOUTO: Because it's what I am.

AYUMU: [They pout at him a little.] 'Maniac' implies you're out of control, all over the place... Is that how you feel?

SHOUTO: Yes.

AYUMU: Would you say that's why you're here?

SHOUTO: Yeah.

AYUMU: I see! [They nod thoughtfully.] Have you ever thought violently on top of that? Or acted out on violent thoughts you've had?

SHOUTO: Why do you think I'm here.

AYUMU: [They grin cheekily at him.] I think you're here because someone made you be here. And because you're a sex-addicted maniac, apparently. You can be crazy about sex without being crazy about violence, can't you?

SHOUTO: [He shrugs.]

AYUMU: So would you consider yourself addicted to violence? Or no? Maybe it's more a means to a end, or maybe... [They gesture a little.] More of a guilty pleasure, something that feels almost as good as sex. Any of these sound close?

SHOUTO: ... Yeah. Kind of.

AYUMU: Which one?

SHOUTO: The last one... I guess.

AYUMU: Reeeeally? Huh... [They nod thoughtfully.] Is that why you want to be a hero? Because you still want to be, right?

SHOUTO: I do. But that's not why.

AYUMU: Oh, good! Well, I'm glad that's not the reason, haha. Why do you want to be a hero?

SHOUTO: [He shrugs. Again.] Because I can't see myself doing anything else.

AYUMU: Sooo.... it's not that you want to be, it's that you feel you have to be?

SHOUTO: I guess.

AYUMU: Hmmm... [Crossing their legs, they start going through the papers on their lap.] What feels better to you, saving people or sex?

SHOUTO: .. Um. [He knows the answer.] ... I... uh..

AYUMU: [They smile a little knowingly but otherwise stay silent, letting him fumble.]

SHOUTO: ... I don't.. know. [He looks away.]

AYUMU: Of course... [They nod a little.] Must be hard, confusing.... you're obviously dealing with a lot...

SHOUTO: ... Yeah...

AYUMU: You're not alone in this, okay? [They smile.] I promise. There are plenty of heroes with bad thoughts or impulses, or have even done some wrong in their life. But that doesn't mean they can't change. Do you want to stay like this forever?

SHOUTO: [He grits his teeth.] No. I don't.

AYUMU: [They go :O] ... Then don't you think maybe it's not the worst thing in the world that you're here? Besides the dad thing, I mean.

SHOUTO: I shouldn't have to be here.

AYUMU: What would you rather?

SHOUTO: I'd rather be fine on my own.

AYUMU: Yeah, I bet we all would rather that, huh? But on your own, well, you're some sort of maniac, so...

SHOUTO: ... [He sighs. >:/]

AYUMU: [>:3] I'm just saying, you're here for a reason. You might have had reasons for doing what you did, really good ones, but you still did it and that's what landed you here. I don't really know if you get that?

SHOUTO: I get why I'm here.

AYUMU: [They just pout at him in response.] Then why be so difficult?

SHOUTO: Because I don't want to be.

AYUMU: Huuuh... That's just going to keep you in a place like this longer...

SHOUTO: I can get better anyways.

AYUMU: Oh, so you actually plan to? Get better?

SHOUTO: Yes?

AYUMU: Well! That's a relief to hear! [They clap once.] Sometimes it's hard to tell with you what you're thinking and feeling. You're very closed off. Have you been like that your whole life?

SHOUTO: ... Yeah.

AYUMU: Why, do you think? Does it feel safer?

SHOUTO: I guess.

AYUMU: Is there anyone you've ever really opened up to...? Maybe in your past or maybe one of your friends?

SHOUTO: Kind of. [He shrugs.] Not a lot.

AYUMU: Would you rather it be a different way? Or are you more... content with this sort of arrangement?

SHOUTO: I don't know. I guess I wish I could.

AYUMU: [They smile softly at that, tilting their head a little.] Why don't you try a little? Maybe you can reach out to someone in your life, tell them a little more about yourself? It doesn't have to be about the bad things...

SHOUTO: I don't know what I'd say.

AYUMU: Well, what do you like?

SHOUTO: Um... [He blinks.] Sex. ... [He looks away, knowing that shouldn't have been the first thing out of his mouth.] I read sometimes.

AYUMU: [They try (and fail) to suppress a little giggle.] Of course... What do you like to read?

SHOUTO: Manga, when I can get it.. Books are good, too...

AYUMU: Oh? Maybe you can reach out to your classmates, see what they like to read? That could be a good conversation starter...

SHOUTO: Maybe.

AYUMU: Or maybe something else... Anything else. Even sex, if you wanna start with that, if that's easier for you... [They nod.] I think to start you really need to learn to reconnect with the things around you. With people, good people, with society... You know! Get more of a sense of what's normal for people...

SHOUTO: ... Yeah. [He looks down, suddenly sad.] I've never connected with people well, though.

AYUMU: ... No? [Expression falling, they look at him for a moment, trying to think a way past his predicament.]... What about your classmates?

SHOUTO: [He shrugs.] Not really. I mean. I guess. Sort of.... but it's never really felt... I dunno. Real.

AYUMU: Really? What would make it feel real to you, then...? Do you know?

SHOUTO: ... No.

AYUMU: ... I see...

SHOUTO: ... I have... a friend.. um... he's kind of like me, I guess. Maybe that's the closest.

AYUMU: Oh? Wanna tell me about him?

SHOUTO: ... I dunno. He's been missing. [He frowns.] He's not really like me at all. I guess he just gets it.

SHOUTO: [:(... Frowning now, they nod in understanding.] ... Well... that makes sense, then. It helps when they understand what you've been through, right?

AYUMU: ... Yeah.

SHOUTO: Well... You have group therapy next... [They look at his schedule.] With a bunch of people your age who are dealing with some of the same things... Maybe you can reach out to them if you can't reach out to your classmates?

SHOUTO: [He shrugs.] Maybe.

AYUMU: Good... I'd really like you to. [They perk up, a childish happiness on their face.] Next time I see you, I want you to be able to tell me about a new friend you made! That's your homework for the week, okay?

SHOUTO: ... Okay.

AYUMU: I also want you to write down any violent or "villainous" thoughts you might have during the week... Maybe about your father or that villain you mentioned, or any bad instances that stick out. We'll talk about that. Try and find some positive thoughts or experiences for every villainous one, ones that you can connect more to being "heroic"! We'll go over all that next time. Sound good?

SHOUTO: ... Yeah.

AYUMU: Good! If you do them both, you'll get a nice reward! [They wink.] Otherwise, I'm sending you off to group, now... Unless you have any questions about today? Any of the things we talked about?

SHOUTO: ... No, I don't... [He starts to stand.]

AYUMU: [They stand with him, smiling to themselves.] Good! Then I'll be seeing you soon, Shouto-kun~ [They give him a little pat on the head, ruffling his hair around.]

SHOUTO: Yeah. [He gives a forced smile at the pat and then steps away to leave.]

AYUMU: [Satisfied with that, they start to return to their desk.] Don't forget everything I've said, Shouto-kun! Good luck!