#( one day i'll organize myself and u won't know how to handle it tho )

[clochanamarch]

hit the heart if you don't mind me answering things on mobile! (this just means i can't use icons or graphics and i can't cut the posts)

[productofaritual]

(Hi me from the future here. You were mostly right. I am now on a quest for cs!Dream's blood. Context below. Enjoy my suffering)

Ok going into it let's see what we got

"Plans to go to dinner" Ok date much??? Marriage much??? He mentions marriage again right I got bingo right

NEOPRONOUNS NIKI LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Skirt pog. Compliment pog. Kiss already.

"Realization" Yes. We all know. You're the last one to realize it actually

Gay. Gay. Homosexual. Gay.

Oooh Tubbo's the first one to know about it??? Cool. Predictable. Now for your wedding vows-

DREAM NO. NO. DREAM. YOU MOTHERFUCKER LEAVE HIM BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NOT NOWWWWWW- oh Tubbo saves the day pog. I'm sure that won't bite Ran in the ass later (me from the future again. I guess it didn't? Maybe in the 'filler' chaps)

OH MY GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKING GAYYYYYYYY also if I got a nickel for every fic that compares Tubbo to the sun from Ranboo's pov, I'd have two nickels because DeTerra. I'm so normal. Let's continue

NOT THE FUCKING QUIZ I'M CACKLING

MY ARO BOYYYYYY your sins of liking chocolate over vanilla are forbidden, welcome to the club, we have cookies

"That was the part I knew you'd love" Is a sentence I read after writing that. Damn u. /pos

The storm. o7 to my mental state let's go

New years pog. Preemptively put Tubbo in rehab overnight I don't think he can handle this

DREAM. Oh what did I say about the ignored call coming to bite him in the ass (once again, guess it didn't?)

Ranboo. My dude. My buddy. My pal. My guy. My fella. My friend. My fellow aspec. DID YOU NOT LEARN A SINGLE THING ABOUT GOING STRANGE PLACES WITH STRANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT INFORMING ANYONE??? YOU'RE JUST ASKING TO BE MURDERED THEY SHOULD'VE TAUGHT YOU THAT AT SOME POINT YOU DOOF

Along with my payments towards Tubbo's rehab, Tubbo's therapy, Ranboo's therapy, and their subsequent wedding, I will also be paying for a fucking hitman to take out Dream because YOU LEAVE MY BOY PANICKING IN A FUCKING HOTEL ROOM. Also real talk for a sec, Ran, buddy, what did I just say about going strange places with strange people. What did I JUST say

"Gets comforted" Dream I will rip out your veins and guts and organs and eyes and chop off your fingers AND HANG THEM AS HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS

Hallucination update: I will not be paying for a hitman. I'LL TAKE THAT MAN OUT MYSELF "KEEP SLEEPING" HOW ABOUT YOU SLEEP FOREVER AND WHATEVER IS LEFT OF YOU AFTER I'M DONE IS BURIED IN MY BACKYARD

All this God talk as an atheist is weirdly funny to me

"Let sleeping comets die" Look I'm no space expert, but I don't think that's how comets work?

"He's wondering where Fundy is" Why did that make me laugh

I'm sure there's imagery and metaphors in that, but I'm also sure I'm shit at metaphors and therefore we will move on

DREEEEEEEEEEAAAAM. Also with the amount of comments Ranboo previously made about dying in a car crash. You're just torturing my poor boy let him be :(

"You're not God you're some delusional kid" Ok he kinda right tho- "you need me" Never mind I'm back to murder and realistic Halloween decor. Might paint the walls red too if you catch my drift

"Mental hospital" Why am I surprised. Also yay, you thought about dying in a car crash so much that u called it! Congratulations! I'm sad now.

"It was supposed to be Tommy" LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

NO HE WAS TALKING WITH DREAM??? Of all the fucking people istg i would have been happier with it being an internal monologue. And we all know how much I hate internal monologues

Backstory- and he's commuting murder suicide. I mean. A bit drastic. But I approve. Just make sure to leave him intact enough so I can get my Halloween decorations (can you tell I'm coping with humor)

DING DONG THE WITCH-O-BITCH IS DEEEEEEEEAD- no don't have a mental breakdown about it pookie this is great news- fuck's sake WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SAD WHEN THE BAD GUYS ARE DYING FUCK YOU LET ME CELEBRATE

Also Tubbo text pog what does it mean I'm sure I'll find out (future me here again, hi, I didn't find out)

FUCK he's not dead. DAMMIT. Do I have to do everything myself around here?

You're right I do hate it and I hate that I was right about it being endersmile. Fuuuuuuck my life.

Drunkbo. Fuck you. Rehab. Now.

Oh wow sad ending fml ig also pls don't die pookie your hubby still didn't get into rehab you gotta wait a lil longer

Also can I just get what happened at the very end of the last chap? 32 I believe it is. Ihave a feeling I should be able to get through the fic if it's one chap once every full moon

Heyoooo so could u spoil the rest (so far) of cs for me plssss. Like I would read it but I feel like it would ruin the entire fic for me because I'd have to force myself to and that's not fun -.-

Ended at the scene where Ranboo goes to Fundy's flat and Fundy's like "Hey! Here's your tragic backstory!" And Ranboo's like "oh fuck *has a breakdown*"

This is also me giving u a chance to yap about cs so add as many details, hcs and personal opinions as you'd like, :)

my time to shine :D

i’m probably just going to give out the main plot points that happened then on, just because if i said every little thing that happens we would be here literally all day because towards the end the chapters get very long so!

if you don’t want spoilers for cs, look away !!!!

okay, the main chapters to talk about are chapter 28 and 30 the rest are less plot driven and more just fillers, almost. lots happen, but not much to talk about like the big two !

28:

the chapter starts out with ranboo talking to dream about photography and shit, nothing out of the ordinary, and it’s pretty short! at least that scene is. and then he and tubbo have plans to go to a diner later in the evening, and while ranboo is finding clothes, he spots a skirt that he thinks is niki’s. he considers wearing it, which makes the chapter mostly about identity + gay shit ! (more on identity later, not just this bit) and he tells niki he thinks it got mixed up in his closet, and then asks about pronouns and niki is revealed to go by she/xe, and she lends ranboo a skirt to wear and he kind of loves it. it’s a very sweet scene :) and then he goes to pick up tubbo and tubbo’s kind of first reaction is to tell him he looks pretty, which ranboo says he’s not used to, and tubbo says he’ll make sure he’s used to it (i fucking hate gay people /j) then, they go to the diner, order food, have some banter, and tubbo has, in his words, a “realization”, which is probably when he realized he’s gay for ranboo! and he calls ranboo pretty again. the 2nd time that night. and ranboo says some gay stuff about how pretty tubbo looks to himself, as well, because of course he would. and they go to the train tracks nearby, and ranboo explains the whole memory loss thing to tubbo. dream calls him, and tubbo asks him not to answer. so, ranboo doesn’t. and then you have my personal favorite scene of the entire fic i’ve had multiple emotional breakdowns about.

when the sunsets, tubbo points it out, and ranboo comments that it’s pretty.

and here’s the line that literally gets me crying all the fucking time; “beside him, the sun says, “so are you.”” he drives him back home and tubbo falls asleep in the car.

ranboo goes home and proceeds to take a quiz. “do i have feelings for my best friend?” which sends him to find out about being aromantic, and being queerplatonic. that’s the second part of the identity part of the chapter. ranboo realizes he’s aro :) that was the part i knew you’d love lmao

and now, the storm, because that was the calm.

in chapter 30, it is new years. around 2-3 in the morning, can’t remember, and ranboo is still awake. dream shows up at his door, and tells him they’re going somewhere. ranboo doesn’t question it (maybe because it’s so early) and puts out food for springerle and grabs the necessities. they drive to a hotel, and dream tells him not to worry about paying because he never told him they’d be going there.

dream leaves ranboo alone in the hotel room for HOURS, which has ranboo panicking the whole time, thinking he could be dead, and having an emotional breakdown when dream gets back. he gets comforted, they play some video games, and then they’re on the road

dream is driving, and he tells ranboo to go to sleep because it’ll be a really long drive and they’re stuck in traffic. ranboo has nothing better to do, so he closes his eyes. there’s also a storm.

it’s very creepy. there are voices, beckoning him to come and saying things like “we have your parents” “we have god” “come join us” and ranboo immediately wakes up in fear. dream tells him to go back to sleep. and he does. and the voices don’t stop. they never do. they keep mentioning god, especially, which will make more sense in a moment! he feels hands on him, tugging him down. they also say “come down here we don’t love you nowhere does” and it’s all very eerie. ranboo wakes up once more, to dream asking what he’s dreaming about because he’s muttering about smoke, and there are scratches on his arms. dream insists on him sleeping to “get more information”

this time, they’re still talking about how they have god. they have his entire life. they have his future lover. his future life. how they stole his smoke, his voice, his music— the stars — and ranboo, in his dream, is screaming back and saying he doesn’t want to go.

“YOU ARE A COMET” and they mention stars, and black holes (more on that) and let sleeping comets die (foreshadowing)

and ranboo is freaking out in his dream, begging for it to stop, and it doesn’t. and it describes tubbo, mentions the diner and smoke and brown hair. the hands are still on him, pulling him down.

there’s a black hole. a lid over it, closing the iris of an eye. which takes him to “THAT WAS NEVER MY NAME” all of the writing that is supposed to be a voice is frantic and mostly misspelled and some are in all caps (usually ranboo, but the voices too) “GOD IS AN IRIS” and he is wondering where fundy is

and he can’t breathe and they’re calling him a rabbit, a baby comet, an iris

he has blood underneath his fingernails when he wakes up, and dream asks him what he saw.

dream swerves and ranboo hits his head on the dashboard . ranboo feels like he’s going insane. dream is holding the collar of his shirt tightly.

and this is where all hell breaks loose.

ranboo says there was a black hole and he thinks he killed it. dream swerves and ranboo hits his head against the window. he says something like “not again, we’re not doing this again.” ranboo doesn’t remember having this happen before.

dream starts screaming about how he should forget. he always forgets. that he’s still dreaming about the black hole. ranboo says it needs him. dream continues screaming.

then, ranboo says; “it’s god, isn’t it? that’s me. i’m… i’m god.”

dream slams his head against the dashboard. he yells, “NO! you aren’t god. do you understand me? you aren’t god. you’re some delusional fucking kid. and you need me. you’re nothing without me.”

and then, dream says “do you think you’re getting out of this alive?”

he slams his head against the dashboard AGAIN. he’s screaming about how he (ranboo) should’ve stayed in the mental hospital.

ranboo thinks that no one will see him or dream ever again. he calls it “one of the best days in history”

dream rambles about it was “supposed to be tommy” and that his family ruined it.

dream mentions tubbo and how he would’ve hated ranboo. ranboo whispers “we were gonna get married.” “what?” “he called me pretty.”

we’re given the information that when ranboo was 15, with a new name and no family, on withdrawal from anti psychotics, he had been walking for days straight with nowhere to go, reaching an overpass, he caused a collision of cars. one unconscious, and one wide awake. dream was awake. he almost killed him. if only it worked.

and how dream bought him his first camera and how they’d meet in a park. how he left for a while and ranboo was waiting for him.

dream says no one will go looking for him.

dream swerves and ranboo unbuckles his seatbelt to slam on the breaks, because he is going to try and kill both dream and himself so neither of them get out of this alive.

when the car stops spinning, ranboo grabs something smaller than a gun from the glovebox, while dream gets out of the car. he drops the gun on accident. he feels something cut him.

dream has a fistful of his hair, a switchblade, and is holding him down against the pavement. ranboo passes out.

three days go by, where he’s asleep. he wakes up to being all bandaged up.

he’s confused. he has a text from tubbo saying “EXCITED 2 C U”

he won’t see him. but he also has a multitude of texts from dream. i won’t go much into detail, but the overall message is; “you made me kill myself and i wanted you to live with that guilt.”

he has a breakdown, of course, because telling an anxiety ridden psychotic 17 year old that he’s the reason you killed yourself probably isn’t the best way to do things!!!!

he goes to sapnap and george after his little breakdown, and they tell him he’s not dead at all. he’s in jail.

but, regardless, here’s the whole parallel i told u you’d fucking hate ^___^ “and he wants dream to hug him again, and he wants dream back so badly, he needs dream back he needs him he needs him why did he leave him—“ “ranboo loved dream. dream was his boss, and dream was his tutor, and dream was his friend, and dream was everything he had, and now he’s gone”

he goes to a park and it’s basically midnight, or at least VERY late. tubbo calls him. he doesn’t know what he’s saying. he doesn’t hear anything.

eventually, though, he hears him ask for him to say something because ranboo hasn’t said a word since he picked up. and the only words he can muster up is “‘m a white dwarf.” and of course, tubbo is pretty confused. he’s also drunk, so. (a white dwarf is a dead/dying star…)

he goes back to his apartment, and the last thing it says in the chapter is;

“in the quiet of his bedroom, body and mind equally broken, ranboo beloved becomes a black dwarf.” (black dwarfs are theoretically white dwarfs minus the light and heat if i remember right)