#( if i think too hard about it i'm convinced i'll go insane so this is how we cope )

[ylangelegy]

The first thing Jihoon notices when he wakes up is that his neck doesn't hurt.

Dazed, he squints up at the sunlight streaming through a nearby window. It's one of those dreamless naps where you lose all sense of time. He could've been out for minutes, hours.

It takes him another beat to realize that he's in a bed. Not the couch at the studio. Not some corner of the company. A proper bed— crisp white sheets, fluffy pillows.

He groans softly. There's only one person who could be behind all this. And sure enough, your voice reaches him through his haze. "You're awake."

Jihoon mumbles something between 'mhm' and 'sorta'. One of his hands goes to rub at his eyes, like it might somehow will the drowsiness away. He vaguely makes out your figure, seated inches away from him. He has half the mind to ask what you're doing this time. Scrolling through your phone? Reading a book?

Instead, he grouses, "I fell asleep again." His words— gruff around the edges— aren't a question. It's more a statement of a fact.

You hum your confirmation. "It was just a couple of minutes." Then, softer. "You should get some more rest."

Jihoon wants to protest; he really does. A part of him has always felt guilty about this. He already has so little time with you as is, and yet he somehow finds himself squandering it over sleep.

But then you're carding your fingers through his hair and his eyes instinctively flutter close. "Not fair," he exhales. "You don't play fair."

Your hand shakes a little as you laugh.

"Go to sleep, Jihoon-ah," you repeat. "I'll wake you up in a bit."

(You never do, Jihoon thinks. You always say you're going to wake me up and that we'll go out and do something you like, but you always let me sleep in. I'll wake up in the middle of the night with you cuddled in to me— another day that we could've been normal, wasted because I'm perpetually tired.)

"Okay." Jihoon sounds much younger than he really is in that moment. "Okay, good night."

Right before drifting off, he summons up just enough energy to reach for your hand. He thinks he also manages to say I love you.

Jihoon dreams of the view from an airplane window, when the sun is setting over the clouds; a stage during sound check, where twelve other boys make it all worth it; your hand in his, and the quiet way you say I love you back.

[darknight3904]

Through the Years

𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: ᴀ ɢʟɪᴍᴘꜱᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ ɢᴏᴊᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ.

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: ᴄᴜʀꜱɪɴɢ. ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ/ᴋɪʟʟɪɴɢ. ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴠɪʀɢɪɴɪᴛʏ (ɴᴏ ꜱᴇx) ɴᴀᴏʏᴀ ᴢᴇɴɪɴ (ʜᴇ ɪꜱ ɢʀᴏꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ)

ɪ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀꜱ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ɪɴ ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ. ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ʙᴀʙʏ. ɢᴏᴊᴏ x ᴢᴇɴɪɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: ᴏᴠᴇʀ 5ᴋ (ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍʏ ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴇʏᴇᴅ ᴋɪɴɢ)

ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ /ᴍʏ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

December 7, 2005 (Gojo: 16 You: 15)

"You know you're practically a senior citizen now."

Gojo's head whips around, insulted at the idea of being called old. Sure he's got white hair but he's just turned 16, not 61.

"You're only a year younger than me, y'know. You'll be 16 soon too." He grins

Gojo grins as you roll your eyes next to him.

"At least I don't have white hair already." You point out

"Whatever, at least I'm not two inches tall." Gojo laughs, resting an elbow on your head.

"I'm still growing!" You defend, angry at the idea of staying the same height forever. "Get your ugly arm off me!"

"I'll have you know my arm is gorgeous," Gojo says, blue eyes catching the sunlight as he easily matches your pace.

"Mmhmm." You roll your eyes

To keep it simple, Satoru Gojo got under your skin. Perhaps it was that annoying smile or maybe the fact that your clan notoriously hated his. All you knew was that he drove you insane and you wished he'd just disappear so he could never bother you again.

"Where is everyone? I thought we agreed to meet here at 4," Gojo whined next to you.

"Worried your boyfriend stood you up?" You tease. thinking of the dark-haired boy who was usually joined to Gojo's hip most days.

"Suguru would never do that to me." Gojo smiles, unwrapping a lollipop he had stuffed in his pocket.

"I dunno, what if he finally got sick of you, Gojo?" You say, knowing it was impossible.

A soft ding interrupts your conversation with the boy and Gojo fishes his phone out of his pocket.

"HA! Told you he'd never stand me up!"

Gojo's phone is obnoxiously close to your face as he prompts you to read his chat with Geto.

On our way. Nanami needed to be convinced.

Another ding sounds and a picture of your fellow first years pops up Haibara is dragging Nanami down the sidewalk by his arms.

"Idiots." You murmur

"I see that smile! You got a crush on Nanamin?" Gojo's voice fills your ears as his pointer finger pokes at your face

"Piss off, Gojo." You groan "I hope one of Geto's curses eat you."

April 2006 (Gojo: 16 You: 15)

"You totally just cheated!" You accuse the blonde across from you

"Have you considered that you're just terrible at Jenga?" Nanami asked

"Have you considered that you just moved the table during my turn so you'd win and not me!" You groan

"It's just Jenga, Zenin. We can just start over." Haibara points out

"Not with a cheater playing." You roll your eyes

Haibara smiles as he begins to pick up the fallen blocks from the floor. You had been on edge for a few days now and your temper was beginning to get a bit out of hand. He had asked Nanami what he thought was the matter and the two of them had come to the conclusion that it had to do with your visit with the head of the Zenin clan.

"That's enough for today. I'm going to take a nap." Nanami declares

"Ugh, what a party pooper." Haibara teases, elbowing you.

"In case you forgot, Zenin here did me the favor of hitting me hard enough that I nearly passed out today in training." Nanami reminds the two of you.

Ah right, that. You had gone a bit too hard today sparring with Nanami.

"Oh, I forgot about that," Haibara says

"Yes. You should let Zenin get some rest. Her technique is draining, she's said so herself.

Sure, Phantom wasn't exactly easy to pull off but you wanted to keep playing. You wanted to kick Nanami's ass in Jenga.

"Alright. Let's eat dinner together tonight though. I have these awesome cookies in my room you'll both like." Haibara declares before following Nanami out of your room.

Perhaps Nanami was correct, a nap did sound enjoyable right now. A quick nap and then maybe you'd cook something to share with the boys tonight. Perhaps a couple of rice balls or maybe some chicken.

No sooner had you gotten comfortable under your blankets that your door swung open and Gojo was running into your room, Geto close on his heels.

"Satoru, you should always knock on a girl's door before barging in." Geto scolds his friend for you.

"It's fine, Suguru. It's not like she's getting changed or anything." Gojo grins looking down at you who had remained buried under your covers.

"And what if I was?" You scowl from your blankets

"I would've screamed in horror and asked Suguru to exorcise you." Gojo says flashing that oddly charming smile of his.

You're sure he could get away with murder if he just flashed those pearly whites.

You ignore the flutter of butterflies in your stomach as you sit up.

"I was about to take a nap but I guess it can wait." You say

"A nap? What are you four?" Gojo teases

"Yeah probably." You agree

"Not everyone is as energetic as you are Satoru." Geto reminded the white haired boy

"Yeah, what Geto said. Not everyone is a walking ball of energy." You say

Geto had always been your favorite of Jujutsu High's strongest duo. He didn't call you short or try to steal your food. Or maybe it was his long hair that seemed to always look better than yours.

Plus then there was that time Gojo snuck into your room to try and shave your eyebrows off. Sometimes you swore the elders of the Gojo clan were sending the six eyes user after you on purpose.

"Whatever, loser." Gojo said trying to reach and mess up your hair.

"Would you stop that! I'm not a child!" You groan

"Then why're you the size of one?" Gojo laughs

Even Geto laughed at that one as you shove Gojo out of the way.

"Why are you two even here? Can't you go bother Shoko for once?" You ask

"Shoko said you've been in a bad mood the past few days." Geto started

"So we've come to cheer you up!" Gojo finished

You watched wide-eyed as Gojo dumped the bag he was holding onto your bed. Every possible sweet fell out accompanied by different DVDs.

"For the record, I told him it was too much candy but he didn't listen," Geto says as Gojo riffles through the movie choices.

One DVD case catches your eye as Gojo argues with Geto about his sugar choices.

"Are you a Rachel McAdams fan, Gojo?" You ask as you hold up Mean Girls.

"Duh." Gojo grins before swiping the case from your hand to pop it into the player you had

"Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George."

"Y'know you're kinda like Regina, Satoru," Geto says observing the movie.

"Am not." Gojo rolls his eyes sipping at his soda

"Sure you are." Geto smiles

"Yeah right." Gojo scoffs "Whaddaya think, Zenin?"

Gojo looked at you for an answer but was met with you asleep next to him, head resting on one of those massive stuffed animals you kept. You're drooling a bit and he can't help but think that you're a bit cute like this.

He reaches to shake you awake, determined to get your opinion on whether or not he is like a spoiled teenage girl.

"Let her rest. I heard that her and the other first years went pretty hard today training. Nanami took a big blow to the head from her using her technique." Geto stopped his best friend

"I wish she'd show me her technique. She explained it to me once but I still don't get it." Gojo huffed

"I'm pretty sure Phantom just multiplies her and then she closes the distance with her real body. I watched her use it on Haibara a few months ago." Geto explains

"Whatever...I still want to see it with my own eyes." Gojo declared

The TV hummed softly as they sat in silence while Regina George got hit by a bus after rushing out of her school.

"Why do you think she's been in such a bad mood recently? I heard her yelling about Jenga earlier." Geto asked

"I'm not entirely sure but I think it probably has to do with Nabito Zenin." Gojo said "His archaic way of doing things is probably upsetting her. I heard that she had some meeting with him recently."

Geto lets out a soft hum of acknowledgment.

"Nabito is probably trying to stick her in some arranged marriage. I wouldn't be surprised if it was with his own brat, Naoya." Gojo elaborates

"You know a lot about the Zenin Clan, Satoru," Geto points out

"Well the last Six Eyes and Infinity user was killed by one of them, so I think I'm entitled to a little knowledge. " Gojo defends

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe you should try to be a little nicer to her though, especially if you know what might be going on with her clan." Geto suggests

"I'm perfectly nice." He defends

"Yesterday you said you were going to shave her head in her sleep because she ate one of your french fries."

"I was joking!"

November 2006 (Gojo: 16 You: 16)

"Happy Birthday, Zenin!" Haibara called "Have fun with your family!"

You smiled and waved at Haibara and Nanami as you got into the car that had been sent to pick you up.

Fun. This trip would be anything but fun.

Snow was falling as you entered your childhood home. The soft scent of lavender filled your nose and calmed your nerves.

"You're back! I'm still cooking!" Your mother exclaimed as she emerged from the kitchen

"Yeah, there wasn't much traffic." You reply, trying to release yourself from her bone-crushing hug. Seriously with her strength, she'd probably be able to exercise curses.

"Go wash up. Your father will be back soon and he is bringing Nabito-san and his son." Your mother says

Dinner is quiet. Or rather you're quiet next to your mother while Nabito and your father discuss something about cursed techniques and something about Toji Zenin's kid.

"Your face is plain." the boy across from you suddenly says

Your mother momentarily freezes but quickly regains her composure.

"Yes well, sometimes plain features are best. Just think you wouldn't want every man looking at your wife." Your mother says

Did she just agree to you being plain featured? You looked like her for crying out loud!

"Whatever," Naoya mumbled before shoving more rice into his mouth.

What a pig.

You're not entirely sure why it's happening. Perhaps it was the dinner with Naoya that had your brain going crazy. But ever since you got back from your parents' home you can't stop staring at Gojo. Was it because he represented everything your clan hated? Or maybe it was because he was insufferably annoying? Whatever the reason, you swore he was drawing you in.

"You should stop staring. You might put a hole in his head." Shoko says

"I wasn't-"

"Don't lie to me." Shoko smiles knowingly

You definitely weren't staring at Satoru Gojo. Nope. Not in a million years. And you definitely didn't get butterflies whenever he looked your way. That would be ridiculously, ridiculous.

August 2007 (Gojo: 17 You: 16)

"I don't get why I wasn't assigned with you two. I mean we're always going on missions together." You grumble

"They probably need you to help Gojo train more. Your technique is perfect for him to strengthen his Six Eyes, Zenin." Haibara points out

"It's just a grade two. We'll be back before sundown." Nanami assures

"Yeah, then we can watch a movie and get fat off popcorn," Haibara says

"I'm choosing tonight. I don't want to watch another Pirates of the Caribbean movie." Nanami declares

"But Jack Sparrow is so sexy!" You groan

Haibara laughs in agreement with you.

"See you later, Zenin! I can't wait to bully Nanami into watching Pirates of the Caribbean with you tonight!" Haibara declares

See you later, Zenin!

See you later.

You should've gotten into that damn car with them. Your technique was better than both of theirs. Maybe if you had...just maybe you wouldn't be staring down at half of your friend.

Geto was next to you, looking down at his body, He was silent, long hair blocking his face from you.

Nanami sat behind you, a damp cloth over his eyes.

"You need to rest for now, Nanami," Geto suggests, his soft voice filling the silence.

"Damn it. I should've gone with you two." You say, your voice dripping in regret.

"You could've gotten killed too, Zenin." Nanami sighs, his voice is tight like he's holding back tears.

A soft summer breeze blows through your hair as you sit on a bench. You had left Geto and Nanami with Haibara, not wanting to see the bloody sheet he was under anymore.

"Hey."

You glance up from where you had been picking at your nails, willing yourself to hold it together.

Gojo stood over you, hand stretched out with a piece of candy in it.

"I heard what happened." He said sitting next to you as you unwrapped the candy and popped it in your mouth.

"You wanna talk about it?" Gojo asked

"Not really." You sighed

"You don't seem too sad," Gojo said quietly

"I think I will be...later on. Once I'm alone." You say

"Yeah, me too." He replied.

Silence enveloped the two of you as you focused on the taste of the candy in your mouth.

"I gave you the green apple. It's my least favorite." Gojo said

"Thanks." You reply

September 2007 (Gojo: 17 You: 16)

In accordance with Jujutsu regulations, Geto Suguru is sentenced to death.

For once in his life Gojo Satoru is not buzzing around you like an excited puppy. You can see him, sitting alone on the steps of Jujutsu High.

The deaths of 112 people including his own parents rests on Geto's hands. You couldn't believe it when Nanami read the report to you. But now, seeing Gojo alone confirmed it.

You don't know what you're going to say to Gojo as you approach him. What do you say to the person who's just lost their best friend to a life of being a curse user?

"I know you're lurking back there," Gojo says

Damn it.

"I wanted to give you this." You mumble tossing him a lollipop before sitting next to him, probably a bit too close for someone who swore you weren't interested in him.

Gojo softly smiles and accepts the candy.

"Did he say what he wants to do next?" You ask

"He wants to exterminate all non-sorcerers from the world," Gojo says

An unattainable goal.

"That's impossible." You say

"That won't stop him." Gojo points out

A soft weight taps you and the sweet scent of Satoru Gojo's shampoo fills your nose as he rests his head on your shoulder.

"I'm sure you'll see him again. Even if it's not for a long time, you'll talk to each other again." You assure him.

"Yeah, I hope so," Gojo admits

His voice is a whisper in the breeze, a prayer for the future.

Christmas 2009 (Gojo: 20 You: 19)

"You have to stay quiet, Gojo!" You groan looking at your friend next to you

"This costume is so itchy though! The beard is gonna make my skin all red!" He whines

"Suck it up." You command

Gojo lets out another groan but helps you finish arranging the copious amounts of gifts he had ended up buying for Megumi and Tsumiki.

"Alright, it's perfect. Now go stand next to the tree."

Gojo listens to you and lets out a huff of embarrassment when you snap his picture.

"That better be for your eyes only." He says

"Oh definitely don't worry about it." You brush him off before quickly sending the picture off to Nanami and Shoko. They're sure to get a kick out of it.

"Remind me why I asked you to help with these brats again," Gojo says as he notices you sending his picture.

"Cuz' these brats would be dead if you were the only one watching them, Gojo." You say

"I'm a great caregiver." He says

"You wanted to get Megumi a pink tutu for Christmas." You say

"He would've looked great!" Gojo defends

"He would've set his Demon Dogs after you." You say

"Would not."

"Would too."

"Would not!'

"Would too!"

"What's going on?"

You and Gojo stop your bickering to see sleepy-eyed children hovering on the steps, dark hair out of place and a frizzy mess atop their little heads.

"Santa and I were just arguing about what cookie is best!" You grin

"That's not Santa. That's Gojo in that costume you ordered off Amazon last week." Megumi points out. "I saw the order details on your laptop."

Who the hell does this kid think he is?

"What? No! This is the real Santa from the North Pole!" You scramble

"Megumi, just go with it!" Tsumiki whispers to her little brother, "They obviously don't know Santa's not real!"

Is it a crime to toss a child out a window?

"The jig is up!" Gojo declares beside you as he rips off his fake beard. "Now let's get to the real fun stuff! Mistletoe!"

Gojo grabs a sprig of mistletoe from between the couch cushions. Curse him and his hiding spots.

"Pucker up, hot stuff!" Gojo says as he reaches for you and wraps an arm around your waist to pull you close.

"Gross." You say pushing his face away from you, you hope he can't see how red you are.

Why the hell was he like this? The past few months Gojo had been all over you. Be it flirty gestures or just plain Gojo weirdness, he was consuming every bit of you and you weren't sure if it was a bad thing.

"You're blushing," Megumi says

"Aha! I knew you wanted a kiss from me!" Gojo exclaims chasing after you as you try to escape up the stairs.

Seriously, is it a crime to toss a kid out a window?

March 2011 (Gojo: 21 You: 20)

The harsh slam of the front door wakes Gojo from the peace that had taken over the house. Megumi and Tsumiki had gone to bed and he was kicked back on the sofa, face mask on and Harry Potter was running on TV.

"I'm going to seriously kill that asshole one day." You groan as you rummage through the fridge

"I take it the meeting with Naoya didn't go well," Gojo said

"Didn't go well is the understatement of the millennium." You groan sitting down next to him a slice of cold pizza in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

"Tell me about it," Gojo says pulling your feet into his lap.

He listens to you vent about your "fiance" and how annoying he is. Naoya wants you to cut your hair a certain way and to stop wearing the color red. Apparently, you also need to start wearing lipstick now according to the man as well.

"Honestly I hope he gets hit by a bus tomorrow." You groan "And what the hell is wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing. I think it suits you nicely." Gojo smiles, knowing it's true. You're as pretty as a picture even when you're mad at the world.

"Thanks." You sigh "That wasn't the worst of it though"

"Oh? What else did the scumbag say this time?" Gojo asked, genuinely curious

"Well beyond my appearance, he asked if I was still a virgin today." You say

"Are you?"

"Ow!" Gojo yelps as he rubs his arm where you punched him

"Yeah, I am you idiot!" You seethe, placing your wine and half-eaten pizza on the coffee table, "He's only asking cuz' he found out that I'm spending time around you and I guess he's worried about impurity."

"We're just friends," Gojo says "Besides who cares if a girl's slept with someone before? I know I wouldn't."

His words feel like glue in his mouth. Can you tell he wants to be more than friends?

"I know that, and you know that. But he must think I'm whoring myself out to you in exchange for a place to live." You say sadly

Gojo can sense that Naoya's words are under your skin and bouncing around in that pretty head of yours. A head that should only be filled with the happiest of thoughts, preferably ones with him in it.

"Hey, forget about him. It's none of his business what company you keep and what you look like." He assures, reaching his arms out to pull you into his side.

"He's technically my fiance y'know." You sigh as you let him reposition your body so your head rests on his chest. "I'm supposed to want to please him since he's a man."

There's that stupid Zenin clan mindset, that Gojo can't stand.

"Screw that! Pleasing someone just cuz they're a guy is so 200 years ago." He says

"Tell me about it." You groan

"I could just send a hollow purple his way if you want." Gojo suggests, fully serious "Just a small one. It would be the perfect way to get rid of him."

"And what? Start a full-on war between two ancient clans over me?" You laugh

"Of course," Gojo confirms, pulling you closer to him

To him, you're worth starting a thousand wars if it means you'll finally let him be by your side all the time.

"By the way, is that a charcoal mask?" You ask

"Yup. Got it from the mall today, gotta stay hot for the single ladies out there."

"Gojo?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a really weird guy."

December 2011 (Gojo: 22 You: 21)

"We have to stay quiet, 'gumi." The girl reminds her little brother

"What's the point? How do we even know they'll like this?" He asked

"Who wouldn't enjoy breakfast in bed?" Tsumiki asked

She had a point.

"Yeah, but Gojo and Zenin don't even sleep in the same room. So are we surprising them separately?" Megumi asked as he poured orange juice into cups, he didn't think he had the balance to make it up the stairs with a tray of food.

"Nope! I checked Gojo's room before I woke you up. They're in his room together. I think she had a nightmare or something last night." Tsumiki says, "And we're not supposed to call her Zenin, remember? She said we could just use her first name."

"Oh, right," Megumi says

The couple? No, friends? Whatever they were, the two individuals that had taken him and his sister in were odd. Megumi was sure that Gojo was insane or maybe missing a piece of his brain. Just the other day Gojo had dangled him out the window for asking why he owned pink underwear as a 22-year-old. It was a genuine question on Megumi's part. As for you, you were definitely his favorite. You didn't try to dangle him out windows or mess up his hair, and most importantly you didn't constantly ask about his cursed technique.

Gojo was definitely the more annoying out of the two of you. How you put up with him was a mystery to Megumi. Tsumiki had once said that there was a "budding romance" between Gojo and You. Megumi thought she was reading too many of those romance books you bought her. Of course, he understood why she was saying that. You and Gojo were clearly close to each other, not to mention sometimes you even slept in each other's bedrooms. And then of course there's the many times when you're cooking and Gojo would wrap his arms around you from behind.

Alright, fine maybe Tsumiki was right about the romance.

"Alright, they're done. What do you think?" Tsumiki asks as she places two plates of something on the tray that sits in front of him.

"What are they?" He asks

"They're pancakes." Tsumiki blinked at Megumi as though it was obvious

"Right, of course." Megumi didn't want to make her angry, after all the last time they got in a fight Tsumiki pulled his hair so hard he swore he was partly bald in that spot for months.

"Ok lets go. You get the silverware and the drinks." She says

Gojo's bedroom is so dark, that Megumi nearly trips on his own feet as he blindly follows his sister.

Tsumiki carefully set the tray of food on the desk that was covered in various papers and candy wrappers. Why was Gojo such a slob? Tsumiki pulls the curtains open so the morning light can invade the space.

Megumi carefully observes the pair in bed. Gojo's arm is wrapped securely around you and your head rests on his chest. Megumi finds himself wondering if his father and mother were ever like this. Not that it matters since he can't even remember either of them.

"Surprise!" Tsumiki shouts and Gojo's eyes fly open

"Whaaats going on?" You ask groggily

"We made breakfast!" Tsumiki smiles placing the tray in front of the two adults.

"I have orange juice." Megumi mumbles

"Oh wow!" You smile, rubbing at your eyes, and immediately sit up.

"What is it?" Gojo asks, white hair messier than usual.

Megumi knew it wasn't obvious that they were pancakes.

"Pancakes of course!" You smile at them and Megumi doesn't miss how you pinch Gojo and whisper "be nice" to the white-haired man.

"They have blueberries in them," Megumi says

Gojo's face falls at the idea of a breakfast lacking sugar.

"And chocolate chips." Tsumiki chimes in

Gojo's face is all smiles again as he cuts into the food.

"How is it?" His sister eagerly asks

"It's wonderful. Delicious. Thank you, Tsumiki and Megumi." You compliment

A wide smile breaks out across his sister's face and she grabs Megumi by the arm.

"Alright, we'll let you two eat in peace then." She smiles, practically skipping out of the room.

Just before Megumi closes the door, hushed voices reach his ears.

"Can I spit this out now? I don't think it's edible." Gojo asks

"I think mine has some eggshell in it." You reply

Hushed laughter follows and Megumi smiles to himself. Sure, the two of you were crazy but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

February 2012 (Gojo: 22 You: 21)

Gojo was sure he was actually insane. What the hell was he thinking buying this for you?

The ruby red box felt like a lead weight in his pocket as he approached you while you were slicing vegetables for tonight's supper. Maybe he shouldn't do this while you had a knife in your hand. What if you stabbed him? Well, his infinity would catch it, but still.

"Can I uh...talk to you?" He asked, well...no going back now

"Yeah, what's up?" You ask

"Can I talk to you without the knife in your hand?" He asks

"Satoru Gojo what did you do?" You accuse, immediately focusing on you

"Nothing! Why do you assume I did something?!" He cries

"Because the last time you started a sentence with "without the knife in your hand" You had encouraged Megumi to fight his school bully and then you got a call that Megumi punched a girl two years younger than him." You say

Oh right. He forgot about that.

"Alright well, no children were harmed this time. Now put the knife down." He said

You listen and he takes a big breath, he's going to need all the oxygen for this one.

"Look it might be stupid and I know Valentine's Day was last week but I got you something and I wanted to give it to you. I've actually had it since December but I keep chickening out" He explained fishing the box out of his pocket

"If that's an engagement ring I'll get the knife back out." You say eying him suspiciously.

"What? No! That would be crazy." Gojo laughs, he can feel his face burning. Fuck...he must be bright red.

"Alright good." You say taking the box

Gojo fidgets with the string that's sticking out of the sleeve of his shirt as you look at what he's done.

"Do you uh like it?" He asked

"I do. Why'd you get it for me?" You ask

Wasn't it obvious? He'd buy the whole universe for you if he could.

"You really don't have any idea?" He asks

"No...I don't." You say

Your face is relaxed, you're definitely not lying to him. You seriously have no idea that he's totally obsessed with you!

"Are you gonna say it? I still have to cut some carrots up." You sigh

Gojo lets out a noise that's so insane sounding he swears he got possessed by some evil spirit.

"I got it cuz' I thought it'd look great on you!" The words are coming out of his mouth like vomit, " And I really uh...uhm...I like you."

The last bit is so quiet he's sure you didn't hear it.

"Wow did I just get a shoujo romance confession from the Satoru Gojo himself?" You tease as his gaze remains fixed on his feet.

"Whatever. If you don't want it I'll take it back tomorrow." He grumbled

Silence falls over the two of you like a blanket and Gojo wishes he could bury himself alive. Of course, she's making fun of you! She's engaged! She's been engaged since she was 15! One necklace won't change that! Sure, her fiance was a total buttwipe but still...

"Satoru,"

His first name coming from your lips for the first time ever has his gaze snapping back up. He wishes that you'd say his name like that forever.

"I'm only teasing you. I like you too. I have for a while." You admit

"How long is a while?" He prods, suddenly filled with confidence

"None of your business, mister. Are you going to help me put this on?" You gesture to the box

Gojo is as gentle as he can be as he clips the necklace behind your neck.

"How do I look?" You ask

"Perfect." He smiles and pulls you towards him.

"I smell, Satoru. I haven't gotten to shower yet and I exrocsied a curse at a school earlier." You softly say

"Mmm, you smell good to me." Gojo says "You're always absolutely perfect. And now you're all mine."

An elated giggle leaves his body as he finally gets to kiss you for the first time. If only his 17-year-old self could see him now.

"That's disgusting."

You jump away from him and he wishes you hadn't.

"Megumi, how was school?" You ask and Gojo doesn't miss the way you're obviously flustered.

"It was good. Until I came home to see that." He says

"Well get used to it cuz' you'll be seeing a lot more of it." Gojo grins as he pulls you towards him and tosses an arm around your shoulders.

"She's all mine now, little man. You're not allowed to give her a Valentine's Day card ever again!"

"Satoru, stop that!"

"So are you two finally dating?" Tsumiki asked hopefully

"Course' we are. You don't come home to two people sucking face and expect them not to be officially a couple."

Gojo deserves the punch to the stomach you give him before resuming your vegetable cutting.

Next Part

Series Masterlist / My Masterlist

[strongheartneteyam]

Everyone wants him, that was my crime.

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!omatikaya!reader

cw: mostly angst, TRIGGER WARNING for Reader being bullied bad by some Omatikaya girls, the perks of dating a popular boy (irony alert), hurt/comfort, neteyam reassuring Reader, some fluff, a stab in the heart disguised as a fic basically

So, this is just an angsty Neteyam fic inspired by “Slut!” by Taylor to make you guys suffer with me, I guess.

na'vi words: tweng (loincloth), nantang (viperwolf), tanhì (star - term of endearment)

Not proofread.

ᝰ

Love thorns all over this rose

I'll pay the price, you won't

But if I'm all dressed up they might as well be looking at us

And if they call me a slut

You know, it might be worth it for once

“Slut!” (Taylor Swift)

ᝰ

You were dressed in your best tweng, one you had spent a long time making, wearing your best beaded long necklace to cover your breasts and even wearing some flowers to decorate your black, silky hair.

But none of that mattered. They laughed at you. The girls you thought were pretty and just so skilled and… popular. Something that you were never able to be, it didn't matter how hard you tried when you were a teenager. You were now a 22 year old girl, so, being popular did not matter to you anymore but it did not mean that having only one friend and having those girls look funny at you stopped hurting. The harassment did not stop there, it also included pushing you, putting their feet in front of you so you could trip and then pretending they hadn't done anything, saying something smelled bad whenever you were close to them and laughing inside their little group, making you smell your arms and your hair to try and see if you were the one who was smelly, just for the sadistic pleasure of messing with your head. You were a strong girl but stuff like that would bring down even the bravest na'vi female warrior.

“She thinks she's from the Tawkami clan, all dressed with flowers like this.” The girls would mock and laugh as you passed by

Your sad big amber eyes focused on the ground as shame and self doubt covered your body and beat you up from the inside.

Yes, you did love wearing flowers, sometimes wearing them in many different places in your body, on your hair and on necklaces over your breasts, but you never thought it was a bad thing until they pointed it out. It got to a point where you just couldn't take that many comments about your flowers anymore, the ones you used to pick up in the forest with a chest filled with joy. It used to be an incredibly wholesome, spiritual activity for you, but at those following days, you only felt rage and pain when you looked at your flowers. Poor them. It wasn't their fault. They were as pretty as ever. But you decided to tone it down and now you only wore a flower crown most days.

It was hard to relax. You could almost never be at ease when you were walking around the tribe, trying to focus on doing your chores as an Omatikaya, because you never knew when some girl would make a mean comment or just laugh at you, leaving you wondering if you looked weird or walked funny.

You tried to convince yourself that it was worth it, that you would get through it to be with the boy you loved, the one you were promised to and was soon to go through a mateship ritual with in front of the whole clan to bond you two together forevermore.

But it was insanely hard and sometimes it felt like you couldn't breathe.

Being Neteyam Suli's, the Omatikaya tribe heartthrob, mate to be was challenging to say the least. And yes, you knew that you were being bullied because he had chosen you. When it all started, you tried to convince yourself it was all in your head, that there must be another more rational reason for you to be bullied by those girls, that they couldn't be doing all this out of jealousy. It seemed too stupid, childish and… cruel, honestly. But even Neteyam pointed it out to you.

“Don't be sad because of those girls, tanhì. They are mad because you're mine and they wish they were in your place. But I chose you because I saw something in you that I didn't see in any of them. You're always honest, you have a childlike light in your eyes and a pure soul. They got nothing on you and that's why they treat you badly.”

He had told you those words one day when you were crying about being excluded from the girls’ friendship groups in the tribe. Neteyam's words reassured you of his love and made you feel better but the wounds still hurt.

Sometimes, the worst part of you told you to give up on him, that it was too difficult to bear, all those nantang like girls scorching you with their mean eyes every time they saw you walking around holding hands with Neteyam. But after a while, when you could think more rationally, you would think about how it would be unfair to him to do that. So what if those petty girls made you suffer? Making Neteyam suffer because you couldn't be brave enough to deal with that hardship would hurt you way more. Neteyam was worth it, he treated you like a princess, like you were the most beautiful, the most precious thing he had ever laid eyes upon. You'd be damned if you threw a love like that away because of other people's envy.

ᝰ

Taglist:

@luvv4j4ybe11

@criticallybella

@yeosxxx

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing

Desc: Mikey lost his V-card

Mikey: just had the sex

Mikey: it's not all that, tbh

Mikey: i didn't like it

Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually

Mitsuya: that's great 👍

Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒

Smiley: we want details

Draken: whose we?

Mitsuya: no we don't

Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all

Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐

Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word

Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?

Baji: i think sex is great

Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves

Smiley: LMAOOOOOO

Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?

Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again

Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho

Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this

Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)

Baji: why does it have to be a girl

Mikey: bro

Hakkai: 💀

Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes

Hakkai: 😐

Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man

Baji: what about assholes

Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp

Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane

Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??

Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom

Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying

Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?

Draken: are you stupid or what

Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey

Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again

Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy

Takemitchy: what?

Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much

Takemitchy: HUH

Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥

Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-

Chifuyu: nvm

Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore

Angry: no it's a slur

Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao

Angry: yes

Baji: oh

Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time

Angry: several, one times. but okay

Angry: i still love you

Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you

Angry: 😕

Smiley: ...

Angry: ☹️

Smiley: i love you too

Angry: thank you

Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment

Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds

Smiley: you should all kill yourselves

Mikey: man i really want to

Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird

Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho

Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore

Baji: we must just, believe you?

Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes

Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try

Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?

Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine

Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much

Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og

Mitsuya: 😐

Mitsuya: yeah i guess

Draken: 🤞

Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now

Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk

Mikey: what's asexual

Draken: google it

Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn

Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others

Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation

Draken: i'm ace too if that helps

Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that

Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic

Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again

Draken: and fuck you Smiley

Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?

Draken: yes actually

Angry: i see

Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(

Draken: it's whatever

Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking

Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was

Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something

Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family

Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass

Mikey: 😒

Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?

Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her

Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀

Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho

Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it

Mikey: what about having kids?

Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready

Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him

Draken: love you too

Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time

Draken: i stopped doing that

Baji: why though, you were an actual unit

Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up

Draken: Emma said to

Mikey: fair

Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker

Mitsuya: 🖕

[lionesses-lover]

I’m Yours - E. Toone

The one where she is fed up of everyone’s assumptions.

Word Count: 1.5k

Being private and being secret. Two very different things in the world of relationships. However, despite yours and your girlfriend’s best efforts, you had never managed to escape the bubble of secrecy in your relationship. 

You and Ella never meant to be a secret. You had never made an effort to hide that you fancied each other, you never made an effort to disguise the feelings that had blossomed for each other as you began to date and get to know each other more. It just seemed like everyone else thought you were friends.

———

You first met the bubbly brunette last July when you went to watch you cousin, Leah, lead the Lionesses out at Old Trafford for the opening match of the Women’s Euros. However, instead of spending the time after the match celebrating the 1-0 win over Austria with your cousin and your family, you found yourself sitting at a table in the corner of the room chatting to Ella.

She was so kind and beautiful and completely swept you off your feet. She spoke to you after every match and the endless flirtation reached its peak when she drunkenly came up to you at the party after the final, wrapped her arms around you and kissed you.

You felt like you were 16 and in love again. It was the most perfect first kiss you had ever had with anyone in your life. What made that moment even better was the drunken, lopsided smile she had given you afterwards before asking you to go on a date with her.

———

It had been about 8 months since that wonderful night and you and Ella had been together ever since. The pair of you spent almost everyday together and it was perfect. She even managed to convince you to go to a few of her matches, even though you remained stubborn that you were a Gooner for life.

The only issue was that no one seemed to realise that you and Ella were more than friends. Even Alessia and Leah who were always with you never noticed the loving looks you both shared. If Ella posted a photo with you on her Instagram all of the comments on it were people obsessing over your 'friendship'. It even got to the stage where Alessia was joking about being replaced as Ella's best friend and Leah was telling you how happy she was that you had made friends with her teammates.

The longer people believed you were just close friends with Ella the more it annoyed you, and you could tell Ella felt the same. The only issue was that you both didn't know how to start telling people. You had been dating for a while and you were worried that your friends would feel upset that you hadn't told them.

"Babe, I swear if I have to read one more thing about how were are apparently 'friendship goals' I think I'll go insane. How hard is it for people to realise that we are dating? I want everyone to know that I’m yours," your girlfriend to you one night when you were watching TV at her house. It was your last night together before Ella went away for international duty.

"I know love," you sighed, "I'm just worried Leah will hate me for not telling her."

"She could never hate you y/n, you're her favourite cousin," Ella replied, wrapping her arms around you, burying her head into the crook of your neck in an effort to get closer to you.

"Maybe we should just get it over with," you suggested, "I just don't know when the time will be right."

Ella looked up, leaned in and gave you a slow, loving kiss before saying, "We'll know when the time is right, let's not put too much pressure on it.”

You agreed with your girlfriend, before kissing her again, enjoying your last evening before she went away and you would have to wait days to see her again.

———

Today was the day. After what seemed like years apart (it was 4 days) you would finally get to see your girlfriend again. You were sitting in the friends and family box in Wembley with your aunt and cousin waiting to watch Leah, Ella and the rest of the Lionesses walk out to play against Brazil in the first ever Women's Finalissima.

Luckily, you didn't have to wait very look and soon enough your cousin was leading the team onto the pitch. Your eyes met with Ella's and she shot you a cheeky wink before proceeding to grin at you throughout the national anthems. You then watched as her face transitioned into her serious, 'game face' ready for kick off.

The game kicked off and England were dominating possession and had a few shots on goal, but it wasn't until the 23rd minute that England had their best shot. You could see Lucy running down the wing with the ball and then she managed to pass it through to the one and only Ella Toone.

You shot out of your seat with excitement and everything seemed to slow down around you as you watched Ella take the shot.

It went in. 1-0 to England. Ella had scored.

As soon as you saw the ball hit the back of the net you were jumping up and down, screaming at the top of your lungs. Your girlfriend had just scored at Wembley yet again.

"y/n,' you cousin Jacob said to you, frantically hitting your arm to get your attention, 'look at Tooney!"

You looked over and were surprised to see that your girlfriend had brought the celebrations of her goal over to the friends and family section and was grinning widely at you. Once she saw that you were looking at her she made a heart with her hands and blew you a quick kiss before running over to restart the game.

She had dedicated the goal to you.

———

Three hours later, after watching a very chaotic game that consisted of a 90+3 minute equaliser from Brazil before a penalty shootout that resulted in England winning the Finalissima and Leah lifting yet another trophy, you were sitting in the large party room with your family waiting for the Lionesses to arrive and celebrate the win with their loved ones.

Leah was one of the first ones to come out of the changing rooms, so you were busy chatting when you felt an arm wrap around your waist.

"Hey gorgeous," whispered your girlfriend.

You turned around and threw your arms around her, bringing her into the biggest hug and telling her how proud you were of her.

"Oh yeah Tooney what was your celebration about?" asked Leah as she seemed to finally begin to notice the love between her cousin and her teammate.

"I wanted to celebrate with my girl," replied Ella, looking at you saying, "I hope you don't mind but the moment just felt right."

"Of course I don't mind babe," you replied, kissing her cheek softly, "I'm so proud of you."

"Wait, are you two together?" asked Alessia, also finally noticing you and Ella as she walked over to see her best friend.

"Yeah Less," said Ella, "we've been together since the Euros, you were all just too stupid to notice."

You turned to look at your cousin. She was your hero, despite her only being two years older than you, so you desperately hoped that she would be okay with your relationship.

"Wow," she said slowly before pulling you into a warm hug, "we are all idiots. I've been telling everyone you two are just friends. I'm so happy for you y/n."

"Thank you Lee," you said smiling at your favourite cousin, "i didn't think it would take you all this long to notice."

"Well I was a bit suspicious when you were telling me about all the United matches you had been to," she laughed.

Ella wrapped her arms around your waist again before joking, "She's a United fan now Leah."

"Never," you replied stubbornly, "As much as I love you Ella I will never be a United fan. Arsenal for life."

She pouted before kissing you gently, "you're lucky I love you too."

"Okay," interrupted Alessia, "we're happy you guys are happy but we don't need to watch you kiss."

"Shut up Lessi," muttered your girlfriend, before pulling you in for another kiss.

———

Later that night you arrived back at your house after celebrating with the Lionesses. You had spent the entire evening with Ella and it was wonderful. But sadly she couldn't come back with you as she still had to stay at camp for another few days before the next match.

You got ready for bed before checking your phone and seeing that Ella had posted on Instagram. You opened the notification before smiling to yourself, your heart swelling with how in love you were.

@eIlatoone

liked by leahwilliamsonn, alessiarusso99 and 7358 others

ellatoone Finalissima Champions 🏆🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Always a pleasure to score at Wembley, even better to score in front of my girl. I love you y/n💕

———

[idle-compy]

jwct season two review!! spoilers below!!

to start off, I really enjoyed this season! it definitely had some weak spots, but overall wasn't a bad season

the animation is definitely the first thing I want to bring up. it was absolutely beautiful. the colors and lighting were stunning, and the way everything moved made it feel a bit more real. I'd like to give a special shout out to any scene involving water because, one, the water was animated extremely well, and two, the way the characters looked after getting wet was a huge upgrade to jwcc

speaking of the characters, I want to talk about them a bit! this is going to be a bit of a mix between good and bad

darius: unfortunately, darius felt kinda flat this season. before the initial release, the show was advertised around him, and he shone his way thru season one. he had conflicts, he had emotions, he an arc. in season two, he felt kind of like a side character. only watching the season once so far, the only memorable moments I remember are him trying to bond with zayna and that extremely awkward flashback of his confession (which is a whole other thing I will get to). other than that, he didn't really have much going on. there was no actual story; no arc. maybe when I do a rewatch, something else will stand out to me

sammy: unfortunately, sammy's story this season also felt kinda weak. for starters, she didn't get to kick a single ass. I feel like her whole arc was just being attached to zayna. she clearly got very emotional about the mballo family, so I guess I was just hoping they would elaborate a bit more on what's going on with her own. I also definitely do think she saw a bit of herself in zayna, so I was hoping that would go somewhere, too. I was really happy about her being a canon vegetarian, though

yaz: yaz, as always, was an icon. she was THE character this season. she was so good at reading people and noticing they weren't okay, and then she tried to help her friends, no matter how much they refused to communicate. a moment of appreciation for her patience when dealing with kenji and ben, because they were not making it easy for her

also her solo episode!!!!! was insane!!!!!! it was literally never ending tension, and good god nothing was going right for her, and yet she kept going. she kept fighting. that episode was also a really good example of how much she's grown. no matter what was thrown at her, she didn't let herself fall into a state of panic and irrational thoughts

ben: I loved his arc. he was put in such an insanely messy and complicated situation, and mixing that with his anxiety and paranoia, of course he'd struggle with it. they did a good job at making the audience understand his thought process. he had to choose between telling the group their dead friend is actually alive because he saw her in the background of one video, or holding back this info until he got more solid proof. then, said dead friend video calls him and begs him not to say anything. that only made it more difficult for him, because he was 100% sure she was alive then, but was asked to not tell. watching him fall deeper and deeper into a state of panic absolutely crushed me

kenji: oh kenji, kenji, kenji. I don't even know where to begin with him, so I guess I'll start with the overall character. to be completely honest, there were moments (especially in the middle of the season) where he just did not feel like kenji. he was abrasive and just seemed off somehow. I'm not gonna go too much into that, though, because most people aren't the same person at 22 that they were when they 15. he has also been through an insane amount of stuff and was at a point where he was overwhelmed with emotions, but was trying to convince both his friends and himself that he wasn't

now his arc is a different story. I like where they took it (in a way that added complexity to an already complex character, not in a yippee!! kenji wants to kill himself!! way). the arc itself was hard, and absolutely depressing, to watch. the way he kept throwing himself in danger's way as if he had a death wish was absolutely heart wrenching. then when he realized what he had been doing and how it affected others, and when he said "I don't know how much more I can take" I wanted to rip him through the screen and give him a big hug

brooklynn: loved loved LOVED her storyline. I was so happy to see her side of the story and how she ended up where she did. the first scene I want to talk about is when she wanted to see her family and friends, she wanted to reach out, but realizing that it could potentially put them in danger, she solidified her decision to stay "dead." I loved that scene so much because it knocks out all of those "heartless brooklynn" theories. she faked her death for them, not to hurt them

I loved that they had moments of focus where she adapted to her new limb difference, and that she was allowed to grieve her missing arm. it felt real and human. also watching her ability to manipulate others and make her way into those different situations was so extremely fascinating. like she is an amazing investigative journalist

also the final scene, where she went with soyona. as agonizing as it was to watch, I'm actually glad she made that decision. it wouldn't have felt realistic for her to choose her friends, not after everything she had gone through to even get there. she was in too deep, and it was very brooklynn of her to continue the investigation instead of going back to her old life. I feel that giving bumpy's egg to the others was her little sign saying "I'm still in here"

ok moving on!

there's also some good and some bad when it comes to the way they told the story

for the good, I really liked the way they switched back and forth between brooklynn and the others. it was a good way to keep up with the timeline while also filling in gaps (ex: the crate moving into the pen just long enough to get them out only to find out brooklynn was on the controls)

on the other hand, the story in the middle of the season (more specifically eps 4, 5, 6), felt like it was moving a bit slow at times. certain things seemed dragged out and there was a lot of filler time. the first episode and the last four did a really good job at avoiding that. the stakes were high and the scenes were so full of tension and ominousity that I was drawn in just about the entire time

now for random little things

I loved the inclusion of the mballo family. it was so refreshing to get new characters that didn't have bad intentions, and I feel like they were exactly what the five needed in that moment

going off of that, I absolutely adored zayna!! she was such a good inclusion. she was determined and strong-willed while also still being a kid. her sarcastic personality (towards darius specifically) was a good way to bring in some light humor too

geba!!! that's all just geba

also the eyeless leucistic baryonyx. I felt so bad for the poor thing knowing that she was intentionally created to be that way. her interactions with the characters were absolutely terrifying, though, and when she communicated with the acrociraptor???? I didn't think it could get more intense

I was actually losing my mind when the baryonyx and red were hunting the nublar five with all the lights turned off. that was another extremely well done scene

the darius confession flashback was..... something. definitely NOT how I was expecting them to go about that scene. season one made it seem like she had been staying with him for a while and he slowly developed feelings that way and eventually she caught on. but that flashback threw all of that away. like she clearly hadn't been there very long and darius had already fallen HARD, and it just seemed out of character for him to insist kenji didn't love her that much. the whole thing was just ugh

the video call flashback was great tho!! it was nice to see they still continued those calls

ben and kenji!!!!!! no but I was actually obsessed with what they did with their relationship this season. the bickering, the divorced couple vibes, and of course the heart to heart. I've been waiting years for that to happen and it did. just for their relationship to go to shambles the next episode 😭

but on that note I will say the reveal to kenji was set up so extremely well. being able to see and hear ben and brooklynn but they don't know he's there, and then everything he does witness is out of context, so he builds up his own conclusion. him confronting ben was so intense like godddd. I couldn't stand the pain in both of their faces. when kenji cracked the glass??? imagine if he had actually aimed for bens face

on the other hand, the reveal to the rest was kinda meh. I just felt like they could've done more with it, but hey, I guess it's realistic. not everything is going to happen under dramatic circumstances

speckles ❤️ (just call me kenji the way I'm attached to that egg)

I loved to see some behaviors from nublar come back!! like yaz going for casual runs through the forest with dinosaurs and darius creating another field guide. I missed dino nerd darius

also the roar identification competition they were having in the beginning was so funny but also such a them thing to do

wish brooklynn would've kept her grey graphic tee (I think it said kroxic??). I liked it more than the plain navy one (/lh)

speaking of clothes, why did they change for that one episode then immediately change back??? felt like a waste of those models (/lh)

anyway I think that's all!! I might come back and edit if I think of anything else to add

[fanfiction4sooya]

yeojin her as a camgirl

I'm slowly getting back into my writings, so hope you like it anon! thanks for your request by the way!!!

tw: +18, smut, size kink, strapon use, exhibitionism, hair pulling, etc; Minors do not interact.

It was an awkward start, specially since the Im Yeojin directly contacted you offering a deal for you to appear on her only fans.

You laughed, a bit taken aback by her bluntness as her eyes scanned you and she began explaining that she overhead your conversation with a friend about your family's money problems and that she could help.

"So, what do you say?" She leaned on your dorm's doorframe, her small figure seemed way too intimidating for you. "I'll make sure to cover your face, no one will ever know that you are the one with me" She stared at your face, impatience eating her insides with each second passed.

"I still have to think" You said, gulping and lowering your eyes. That whole ideia was ridiculously insane and so out of pocket.

She was somewhat famous, didn't care about people's opinions, drop dead gorgeous and she wanted to have sex with you? Like, you knew you weren't ugly, but no one knew you. You were just happy to go through life without anyone noticing you.

That's why her offer, 10k just to let her fuck you live, was way out of anything your mind has ever thought about.

"I searched about your site..." You told her, licking your ice cream after she took you shopping for lingerie just to "make friends" as she explained. "I saw you are one of the best selling content creators..." You timidly said, trying to avoid her piercing gaze. She hummed in response, leaning back on her chair.

"So now you know I make a lot of money" Her voice sounded always so cheerful that it never seemed like she was talking anything near the 'Sex on camera' thing. "Are you still not convinced?" She leaned forward very close to you, boldly licking a stripe of your ice cream. You shivered.

"Well it's not that like... about money and stuff..." You stammered, your eyes locked on hers. "I just feel shy on showing myself to..." You cleared your throat. "All of those people" She smiled up at you, clearly a predatory one. "What if I don't like women?" You whispered to her ear and she nodded.

"You don't have to like me..." Her small hand brushed a hair strand out of the view of your collarbone. "You just need to keep quiet and let me fuck you on live" You gulped. How could such an angelic face have these dirty things to do and say?

"What do you gain with this?" You managed to ask, trying hard not to let your cheeks get redder than they were.

"I gain..." She clicked her tongue. "I want it to be you" She bit her lip. "You seem perfect for what I want. You are taller and bigger than me, which is definitely...exciting"

Your eyes avoided hers again, your mind running wild for a lot of reasons.

"I want 15k" You licked your ice cream one more time, eyes locked on hers now. Her small smile opening wide and her eyes twinkled with excitement.

"Deal" Was her response.

🌸🌸-

You got in her car and she drove you to the hotel room she rented for the two of you. It was fancy and everything was carefully set, the camera, notebook, lighting, everything.

You heart was beating fast as you carefully put on a set of white lacy lingerie, your hair was down. You stared at the mirror, shame and excitement eating your brains.

She was wearing a red set, that color giving her a more sexy look to contrast with her angelic face. She fucked you with her eyes the moment you stepped out of the bathroom, a robe carefully put on over your taller frame. She reached her hand for you and sat you on the edge of the bed with her.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her hand carefully on your thigh. Hot and so inviting. You hummed, nodding. "She fixed your hair a bit leaning over you, her breath hot on your cheek. "Can I kiss you?" She carefully asked and you nodded, squeezing your thighs in an anxious, horny way.

Your heart jumped on your chest when her lips touched yours. Smooth and soft at first, but you could feel on the way she pulled you into her how she wanted that, how she thought about it over and over. Her tongue immediately massaged yours when you parted lips a little and your breath hitched, melting into it. Her hand went up and down on your thigh, making you shiver and you grabbed the sheets under you as she took off the robe from you. When you finally parted ways you felt as if you were on cloud nine, whimpering in a more needy way than you intended because you knew that as long as the live kept going you wouldn't be feeling her tongue on yours because of the mask.

"We are about to start" She said lowly, her pupils blown. She placed the mask on your face, tying it up behind your head. It was a kistune mask, white with red flowers in it. It was picked carefully by Yeojin because it covered your whole face, leaving only your beautiful eyes to be seen.

You felt a little suffocated, but you felt the need to do that. No just for the money but honestly because Yeojin wanted to and you were kind of into the idea of being seen. Just kind of, of course.

"I told you guys I had something special for today" She gleefully said starting the live, pulling you to her lap as if you were just a doll.

Your heart was beating loudly, not really paying attention to what she was saying, just to her hands on your waist and how her small boobs were pressing on your back.

"I know, I have a pretty doll right?" She smiled to the camera grazing her index and middle finger on your covered nipple. You tried really hard not to squirm, but it was almost impossible.

The comments were wild, from asking her to take off your mask to them asking for her to manhandle you, to fuck your ass and do all sorts of unthinkable things to you.

"Oh you want me to fuck her in the ass?" She said, turning you around and laying you across her lap, your ass towards the camera. She massaged it, still talking to the viewers.

You felt yourself growing aroused with all that dirty talk and her hands roaming your ass, massaging it.

"Fuck, don't worry" She said reading the comments. "I get horny just by speaking to her..." She lightly slapped your ass. "This beautiful thing makes me crazy everyday" She sounded a bit out of breath. "Oh is it?" She sounded surprised, turning to your masked face. "They say your panties are getting wet" You wanted to respond but she specifically oriented you not to.

She slowly pulled your panties down and they were sticking to your wet cunt, the cold air hitting your exposed intimacy. You bit your lip, gripping the sheets again.

"Look at this..." She touched your slit to gather your wetness on the tip of her finger, creating a thread of that sticky fluid between your cunt and her hand to show on camera. "Her pussy looks pretty, yes. The prettiest..." She dipped one finger inside you, making you moan. "Oh, I think she likes that..."

She dipped it in again, but this time she pushed it further inside and you clenched, closing your eyes. She started pumping her fingers at a strong, rapid pace and almost losing control over her own actions. She was trying her best to put on a show for her viewers, but she underestimated how badly she wanted you.

She wanted that since she first saw you on the hallways with your cute shy smile and amazing body. Since then she knew she needed to have you.

She grabbed one of the vibrators she placed nearby where she wanted you, turning it on and grazing it from your back to your thighs and next to where you wanted it the most. You were shaking like a leaf on a windy day. She took off her fingers from your wet pussy, licking them and mumbling how delicious you tasted.

"Isn't she such a cute doll?" Her voice dripped with arousal, and you could feel by how her free hand grabbed your hip that she was hitting her breaking point. "I'll fuck her good, don't you worry" She said.

Next thing you knew the vibrator was on your clit.

"yeojinie..." You whispered, taking her off guard. She gulped and exhaled sharply, pulsing hard. No one else could really hear your voice or what you said, and honestly she didn't want them to listen that part. She wanted to keep that cute way you said her name engraved on her mind and her mind only.

Without a warning she pushed it inside your hole and you could feel how thick that thing was, hitting your walls repeatedly as she kept talking to the camera as if nothing was happening. You were staring to feel yourself getting wetter, the pink vibrator coated on that thick white liquid coming out of you.

Suddenly she stopped, leaving a warm kiss on your hip and lightly pushing you off her lap, pulling the vibrator out of you. You whined when she pulled you entirely onto the bed, carefully placing you on all fours with your pussy still displayed on camera. You heard the notifications go insane with the chat and donations, but yeojin wasn't even paying attention to that anymore.

The only thing she could see was you. And she wanted you.

Getting on her knees, she kissed the back of your thighs admiring how beautifully exposed you were for her. That feeling of ownership was growing alongside with her wish to make you feel good. She looked back at the camera and the laptop to make sure both of you were on the frame, smiling and then licking a long wet stripe from your clit to your slit. Your scream muffled by the mask made her grin and grab your thick thighs to push her face further onto your pulsing cunt.

"God, your taste is so addicting" She told you, moaning while taking one hand to her own pussy and lightly rubbing it over her red thong. She shook, knowing damn well her viewers were going insane with that little action of hers.

They liked to see how her petite self fucked you hard and good and honestly? She did it too. Yeojin was honestly used to the fact everyone loved to manhadle her given her smaller frame, but she wanted to experience that too. She thrived on the idea of making someone her doll to play with.

She let go of your swollen pussy with a pop, putting on a show to make them see how wet she got you.

"Stay like that, don't move" She told you, massaging your folds then getting up to the bedside table. You could see when she put on the leather harness, a big dildo attached to it. You gulped, moaning and swaying your hips unintentionally to the camera.

'Fuck, I'm so aroused' Was the only thought inside your brain as she approached you, positioning your body in a way they couldn't see your pussy anymore, only your arched back and the profile of your bobs.

She picked up the camera from her tripod to film herself stretching you, her mischievous tone dripping lust. Your hips were in the air and your face down and she felt herself go weak, her heart also beating fast as hell inside her chest.

"Look at this..." She said, tapping your slit with the tip of the strap and making you jolt. "I always dreamed of doing this... fuck" She slowly pressed the tip to your aching hole, entering you little by little as you squirmed. "My little fuck doll" She cheerfully said, zooming in on your stretched hole.

Her free hand held your hip tightly, roughly pulling you into her and knocking the air out of your lungs. You moaned, your left hand instinctively seeking hers and scratching her arm as she pounded into you.

"Yeojin, oh my god" You loudly said and she slapped your ass, pulling your hair next and lifting your masked face from the mattress.

"I didn't knew dolls could talk" She continued her hard pace, placing the camera on the mattress in an angle that your body could be seen. She held both your wrists behind your back as she kept slamming her big cock inside you and you rolled your eyes to scream into the mask.

You were sure you came, but the way she fucked you felt so fucking good that you didn't wanted to stop as the arousal was still there.

"Fuck, I need to kiss you" She said onto your ear and you shook your head negatively, still very conscious of the fact that you were the one that couldn't be recognized. "I'll stop the live then" The rhythm was slower now that she was speaking to you, only that wet sound was more audible than your voices.

"You'll lose m-money" You managed to say between sobs and she scoffed.

"I don't care" She pulled it off, picking up the camera. "I am sorry babies, we had a slight inconvenience now but soon we'll be back" She immediately turned it off on the laptop and went back to where she left you, turning you around and ripping that damn mask off.

That kiss was rough and needy as your tongues sloppily battled against each other, she placed you on your back on the edge of the bed and slammed the fake cock inside your pussy one more time, her breath was heavy and there was sweat dripping from her forehead to her chin but she looked absolutely beautiful.

Animalistic, but beautiful.

"You have no idea how many times I pictured your pussy stretched out for me like this" She growled, kissing you.

"Please please, keep doing that" You held her face with one hand and the other pulled onto the harness, kind of guiding her hips into yours. "y-yeojinie, don't stop please p-lease fuck" She kept that hard pace, her eyes locked on yours and her tongue deep inside your mouth.

"If you call me yeojinie one more time I'm going to fucking cum too" She said smiling against your lips as her eyes rolled, her clit extremely stimulated by the strap as well.

"Yeojinie... yes baby, argh" You did it on purpose, your pussy clenching hard against her dick as you felt your climax wash over you, your body beautifully arching off the bed as she kept fucking you. Her orgasm hit as well, her eyes closing. Your moans and hers mixed up in a beautiful harmony.

She kept bucking her hips into yours with her eyes closed, kissing your lips kind of in a haze, hypnotized by the way your body felt against hers. You and her slowly stopped the kiss, her wet body against yours in a delicious way.

"I think you turned the live off too soon" You said, feeling a bit guilty for not wanting to take off the mask.

"I don't care" She rested herself against you. "They've seen you enough" She kissed your neck. "But don't worry mask girl..." Her thumb playfully grazed against your nipple and you hissed. "If you are that worried about my viewers, we can do this a second time" She kissed you in the lips and you returned it.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

[metal-mouse]

Dad!Ominis is the best fucking thing ever.

Crying, screaming rolling on the floor

What about Seb?

You know what, I have a lot of opinions about this one.

Under the cut because mentions of pregnancy and childbirth <3

I want to start this off by saying that Sebastian Sallow would be an amazing father.

When MC reveals they are pregnant, he goes on a roller coaster of emotions.

At first Sebastian would be over the damn moon that he's going to be a father. Like, MC has never seen him this happy in the entire time knowing him. He's excited, he gets started on a nursery right away, he tells the neighbours before you even have a chance to tell any family.

However, as the weeks go by the doubt starts to settle in.

Perhaps Sebastian doesn't deserve to be a father. Not with his past. Not with the things he has learned and the things he has done.

How could hands that have taken life hold new life? It seemed wrong. Sebastian was certain his touch would taint someone so new, innocent, and pure.

MC notices that Sebastian withdraws a little bit. He goes from constantly touching her belly and talking to his child, to just straight up avoiding her and avoiding talking about the baby.

Sebastian starts working more, taking on more cases and staying longer at the office in some attempt to buy his redemption. He had become an Auror to try and make up for what he'd done, and to try and prevent others from doing the same thing he did - why not try a little harder.

MC sits him down one night when he gets back from work very late and finally coaxes him into confessing his fears. MC reminds him that she too has killed, and she asks him if that would make her a bad mother. Sebastian is appalled at the notion, insistent that MC will be an amazing mother.

MC reminds him that the past is the past - it's not possible to undo what had been done - all she and Sebastian can do is learn from their mistakes and become the best people they possibly can. Sebastian is crying. He loves MC so freaking much.

Anne is happy for Sebastian. Five years after Solomon's death, the twins had spent a long time talking and had formed a tentative relationship again. Despite a lingering rift, the two were quite close again.

Or, if Anne has passed away, Sebastian visits her grave and lets her know she's going to be an Aunt.

He visits Solomon's grave as well.

Sebastian is convinced it's a girl. MC thinks it's a boy. They're both right. It's twins.

He reads to MC's belly, and MC is amazed that the baby always seems more active whenever Sebastian does so.

Cries the first time he feels the baby kick. It embarrasses him so much, but he's just so so so happy.

He'd be so obnoxious during the pregnancy, insistent that he'll do everything and MC should just sit there and look pretty and make their child. It drives MC insane, and it takes some sharp hexes to get him to relax a little bit.

Pre-parental panics like he's a sim in the Sims 4 when MC goes into labour.

Obviously they have twins. I'll play into that cliche so hard. A boy and a girl. Sebastian has a mini crisis over this. They name the twins after Sebastian's parents and Eleazar and Miriam Fig.

As they grow, the girl looks exactly like MC just with Sebastian's eyes and freckles. The boy is literally just Sebastian. MC wants to know where the hell her genetics went - until he gets an attitude and she understands that the poor boy has her temperament.

Sebastian is literally the most fun dad. He helps the twins play pranks on their unsuspecting mother. He takes them to Quidditch games all the time. He teaches them to fly on those mini-brooms.

He continues reading to them, this is something he does well into their early adulthood. The twins find it very relaxing.

Still has his doubts. Still has his bad days. Still is uncertain every step of the way, but he tries as best as he can - and to be honest, he's a wonderfully supportive and patient father.

I'm sorry but he's the stereotypical introduces himself to any of his daughter's male friends with a threat and always asks their intentions with his daughter.

Splits discipline with MC evenly, neither of them are the good parent/bad parent. Also helps with EVERYTHING. Often takes over and tells MC to go sleep because raising twins is a lot of work.

They're such a happy little family.

[charmixpower]

So I've been asked what my ideal relationship timeline is winx would be like for the canon relationships (on discord), so here it is!!!

Bloom/Sky:

This fucking relationship was a mess! Not even a mess in the way Rivusa was a mess, I mean them both imagining a kiss at the end of s1 fucking mess. Help what is wrong with them

For them I would like them to get in a relationship before the Trix try and convince Bloom that she was made by the ancestral witches (Valtor foreshadowing?) and then they break up during the Diaspro event. He gets his ass DUMPED!!! Consequences for your actions you little asshole!!!

They make up during the s1 finale and Sky is like "can we start dating again 🥺" and Bloom is like "No💙". The imagined kiss can still happen, it was so insane, you can keep it

Then s2 happens and Sky is trying so hard to be a good bf "plz take me backkk" and then hes like "I hate Avalon. I'm not even like doing this bc I want you back, that man is CREEPY. Riven agrees and we had an entire civil conversation about it. Baby plz." Bloom is not listening 💙💙💙 and then the dark Bloom thing happens and Sky fights tooth and nail to save her and they make up form like everything from s1 and s2!!! Yaya

After all that they are dating now, good for them, good for them. WAIT? WHATS GOING ON?? ITS VALTOR WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!! SKLOOM IS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR!!! God they are such a fucking mess goddamn

Riven very quickly points out that Sky was under mind control and Bloom feels bad and she goes to save him and they talk about it and they're fine mostly. They talk about it, it hurt them both but it doesn't fuck them up completely

The first movie is the same except they don't get engaged, please calm down both of you, think about this for a little longer, but they're happy and good for them

Stella/Brandon:

Literally the only thing I would change is that they are obviously in a relationship early in s1 and they DON'T break up after the reveal, even though Brandon thinks they're broken up

That's it, aside from that no notes

Musa/Riven:

The show ends after the first movie, the later seasons don't exist and can't hurt me (<- are currently hurting me)

In season one it's established that Musa and Riven met before the season and Musa remembers the interaction a better than Riven does, instead of her seeing Riven act like a dick and then suddenly liking him. She's already seen the soft side of him and she wants the "mean to everyone but me" relationship bc Musa is insane too ❤️

S1 and s2 should vibe most untouched aside from this and Riven and Musa should both acknowledge that they like each other at the beginning of s2 but don't get in a relationship bc Riven isn't emotionally ready 4 another relationship so soon after Darcy and Musa is nomral about it (she's not).

S3 except the golden Kingdom is slightly different, the worry Riven is feeling is shown over anything else. Yeah I'll keep the motorcycle thing in, Riven can't communicate and Musa has a mood disorder they're gonna get into a couple dump fights at first. That's just being mentally ill they're fine. They should like immediately make up tho, like as someone who knows people like this the apologies for being insane bc you had a mood swing or can't read social cues are like so quick

Keep the first movie but Riven doesn't have to relearn any lessons, he is simply vibing and in love with Musa and breaks out of mind control bc of his resounding guilt after being forced to hurt her

Tecna/Timmy:

TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE TO PROVE HIMSELF IN S2!!!! EVERYTHING STAYS THE SAME BUT THAT

Okay and Tecna doesn't explicitly state she doesn't want a relationship bc then it feels weird when she gets into one

But like in s2 when Tecna gets pissed at Timmy for not intentionally picking a fight he can't win that could get him killed?? She's treated as the one in the wrong and has to learn to be more chill than Timmy having to do anything, he literally wasn't in the wrong

S2 was so disrespectful to Timmy I SWEAR

Flora/Helia:

GIVE THEM MORE THAN ONE CHARACTER TRAIT!!!!!

Flora stops having a personality after this, please let her yell at people in begging you. Give Flora a character arc I'm begging you

Helia doesn't have a personality!! He has a bunch of implications and he's literally never around in s2 OR s3!! So often it's the winx and specialists except Helia!!

Let them like express different sides of their personality and give Helia more screen time, that's all I ask

I'm on my knees begging you

I can't even say anything because there's literally nothing to go off of

Take the shab stone comic and put it into the show

Aisha/Nabu:

Please imagine a world where Aisha is arranged to marry someone and that person and her love interest are two different ppl

Keep it the same except Nabu isn't her arranged partner, they meet while fighting on Andros and Nabu keeps showing up because he ran away from home and has no idea what the fuck he's doing without all his servants and he's asking Aisha for help djwbdbwjsbwnwbs

That would be MY ideal for them but if have to keep the large plot points the same I wouldn't change anything, like my problem is the inciting incident of their relationship the development itself is cute, but id want them to become official in s4 instead. Only Florelia (sane people) and Brella (soulmates) can get away with the one season romance and make it feel natural, Aisha would not get into a relationship that quickly, but that's a nitpick if anything

No other Aisha relationships exist and if they did they'd be with Roy and not Nex shut up

[fizzyapplecandy]

The one with the female vampire

Ateez Yunho X Fem vampire reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Strangers to Lovers

6.7k words

There are lots of stories featuring the boys as vampires and other supernatural creatures, so I decided to spin this story around. I'm not sure if this will be a one shot, or a few additional chapters. I'll look at the feedback and see if you want some more. :)

This is also my first story, so be prepared.

Enjoy loves X

Myths were always supposed to stay just that - myths. Made up stories to scare children when they refuse to go to bed on time. Legends, depending on the era they are told in, make people behave and follow rules so that they don't end up doing things they aren't supposed to.

I was once a firm non - believer. Those stories only served as a laughing stock. It was different in 1855. People were getting more and more convinced in the presence of the supernatural.

Werewolves, witches, and most of all - vampires. If you asked me back then what I thought about those bogus stories, I would call you insane and laugh right at your face.

However, now, in 2024. I'd kindly remind you not to get on my nerves unless you want me to bite the crap out of your jugular vein.

I was a normal person up until 1855. One day I was walking through the snow, gathering whatever wood I could for a simple fire, the next I was tearing apart an innocent farm house owner along with his wife and two kids. Morbid, I know.

I've learned to control my urges over the 169 years I've been around. Nowadays, I feed from bloodbags and a couple furry animals I find in the forest. It's less tasty, but hey, it keeps me from going on a murderous rampage.

Being as old as I am, I got around the world a lot. From America to Africa, a decent amount of Islands, as well as the cold, hard Arctic. Now I find myself in my own library in Seoul, South Korea.

The perks of being a vampire is the unlimited amount of fortune I've accumulated in the Swis bank. It was more than enough to open up this place and fill it with my collection of antique texts. There are a few knick knacks from museums as well, borrowed (with the use of my compelling charm) from various museums over the years.

I'm quite proud of this place, as I've established a good clientele. I'm even more proud today, as a handsome man enters through the door.

He walks past the counter, going straight to the supernatural section of the library. Twenty minutes later, he is still going around in circles like an idiot.

"Hey there, need some help with something?"

He jumps a bit and turns around. He's even more charming up close with his big brown eyes and plush lips.

His slender fingers push up the rim of his glasses.

"Hey, yeah... I seem to be a bit lost. You see, I'm trying to find this book for my friend, but I have no clue what I'm looking for. So, yeah, help would be appreciated."

I could hear his heart beating rapidly, along with his veins pulsating. He was nervous. If I was a normal person, the rubbing of his sweaty palms on his pants would be a dead giveaway.

"Shoot away then. What are you looking for exactly? I see you went straight to my supernatural section. So, what will it be?"

He took out a crumpled peace of paper from his pocket and cleared his throat.

"Well, my friend Wooyoung wrote down some things this book should contain. We don't know what it looks like. It should have something about the first original vampire, as well as ways to control the transformation. Something like that. I know it sounds crazy, but he's been hellbent about finding this."

He hands me the paper.

"I think it's because he's been watching too many scary movies. He gets obsessed easily. So, yeah, that's it. Do you have something like this here?"

I looked at the scrambled notes and nodded. I knew what he was talking about. There is only one book that contains the original story about the first vampire, and although vague, it gives an insight about the history. The only copy of it is one the top shelf in my library.

Don't ask me how I got it.

I turned around on my high heels and reached above me to pull it out. It's leather bound, kept in pristine condition for centuries with the help of a little witch magic.

"This is 'The Original Story'. It contains everything your friend wants to know. Give this to him, it will settle his curiosity."

As I reached out to hand it to him, our fingers brushed. The spark of electricity was undeniable. I saw it on his face too. The wide eyes, the opened mouth. I quickly retracted my hand and cleared my throat.

"All we have to do now is get you into the system and you'll be able to borrow more books in the future. Come with me."

I stepped around him and bolted to my desk. He followed after with a starstruck expression. It took him a second to compose himself. He fumbled around his backpack and took out his ID, handing it to me.

"Jeong Yunho, is it? It fits you." I smiled and handed him the ID back after putting everything in my computer.

"Yeah, that's me. And you are?"

"Y/N. Y/N Y/L." I could see the surprise on his face.

"Wow, haven't heard of that one in a while. It's really pretty. It kind of suits you."

If I had the ability to blush, I probably would.

"Thank you, Yunho. Enjoy your light reading. I hope it has all of your answers."

He smiled and turned around. Hit the door at a high speed as well.

"Are you okay?" I chuckled.

"Yeah. Embarrassed, but okay. Bye now before I do something even more stupid."

With that, he was out of the door and speeding down the sidewalk. My smile wasn't gone though.

.

.

.

A few days have passed since my encounter with Yunho. Honestly, I haven't been able to stop thinking about our almost magical touch. It was something I haven't felt before, and I've fucked my way through life.

None of those touches could compare to our fingertips touching. I've ransacked my library in hopes of finding an answer, but I came up empty handed.

Just as I was sipping on my coffee (blood concealed in a takeaway cup), somebody cleared their throat. I seriously have to instal a bell above the door.

"Hey there Y/N. How's it going?"

"Yunho, hey! Not so bad. What are you up to?"

He took out the book he borrowed out of his backpack and put it on the counter.

"Well, I've spent the last couple of days trying to find my answers, but this book confuses me. Wooyoung hasn't been helpful either, given he only reads ramen instructions and the occasional porn magazine. Oh..."

I chuckled and watched him turn as red as a tomato.

"Yeah, that was stupid of me to say, sorry. Anyways, I was hoping maybe you could help me? You seem to know your way with books better than I do. Given the library and all."

"Don't you worry buddy. You've come to the right person for this, believe me. Follow me to the sofa."

The library wasn't as full given then we were an hour before closing time. We sat next to each other, and he pulled out a notepad along with a pencil.

"So, there are a few questions in particular he is curious about. He wants to know the begining of the story, and the first vampire. How they feed, how they live, how they supposedly die. Those were the main points of interest."

He flipped through the pages and sighed.

"I've tried getting an answer but everything is so confusing."

I took the book and opened the first page.

"You see Yunho, the book won't help you if your thoughts are scattered. Lucky for you, I have it memorised. You want to hear the legend about the first undead creation?"

He nodded and opened a blank page.

"There was this noble man a couple centuries ago. He had an assortment of wives, as well as an obsession with drinking their blood. He thought it would make him younger and prolong his mortal life. He was stil human at the time."

His eyes widened and I could see him try to swallow a lump in his throat.

"Well, one day after being fed up with acting as a blood bag, one of the wives poisoned his food. He died shortly after in his sleep. They held a burrial deep in the woods, left the grave unmarked and continued on with their lives. Funny thing is, he aimed for eternity, but went to his early grave. Even funnier, his name began with 'Earl' something."

He let a small smile grace his face

"Until one day, a group of hunters witnessed something unbelievable."

I flipped the page and it showed a vague representation of what those pore hunters had seen.

"They couldn't believe their eyes. Right there on the hilltop was the deceased nobleman, drinking blood from one of his wives. Well, ex wives. Eyes as red as the liquid trickling down her neck, and his mouth."

I flipped the page again.

"Three days after, half of the village was dead, the other half turned into vampires."

I sighed and prepared myself to answer another one of his questions. He was immersed in his writing, listening to my every word.

"The only way for a person to become a vampire is to indigest some of their blood before they die. The villagers were attacking him with knives and pitchforks, breaking the skin on his hands and letting the black blood flow freely. He grabbed them by the mouth, and it got into their bloodstream before he drained them."

He stopped for a second and looked over his notes.

"Okay, I get the story. I assume the other vampires made other ones and it went on like that?"

I nodded.

"They figured out how to turn people along the line. They made up covens and separated around the world. At least, that what the legend says."

I had to put in a bit of reality for him because it was getting too believable at this point.

"I get it. But how did people not know about them? Don't they shine in the Sun, or burn? How could they miss it?"

I shook my head in disbelief.

"You humans and your vampire movies. This is not a Twilight fantasy novel where Edward sparkles in the Sun. Be realistic. The Sun doesn't affect them as much as it did in the begining. Vampires only weaken in the daylight. They can easily blend in. The only way you would recognize one is by looking into their eyes when they let the dark side out. Stronger ones have pitch black, newer have a distinct shade of crimson."

He diligently took down every word I was saying. I could tell it piqued his interest as well.

"Okay, got that. Tell me, how do they eat? Is it strictly human blood? Do they... Die, if they don't eat? Like humans?"

I sighed again. Those TV shows and movies got it all wrong.

"A vampire is a living dead person. According to every book known in the world, if you are dead you don't eat. The main source is blood, it only keeps them strong. Animal or human, it doesn't matter. Although, animal blood can't fend them for long. They can eat human food, but it won't mean anything."

"Then how does a vampire die? How do you... Kill it?"

That was the question I dreaded the most. It kind of hurt how much he was interested in the answer.

"Well... There are two ways to take down a vampire. The obvious one is by taking a wooden stake to their heart. The other doesn't kill them, more like incapacitates them so that you can land the final blow. There is an herb called vervain, and it's tough to find. It was used in older times to figure out who wasn't human."

I showed him a picture of the faded purple plant and he nodded.

"I get it. Okay, I think that's about it." He turned towards me and smirked a bit. "You know your way around vampires, it's impressive."

I chuckled and closed the book.

"Well, when you own a library mainly based on supernatural fiction, you find yourself full of knowledge about it."

Our eyes met briefly and I could still see the curiosity running through them. I stood up and went back to my counter.

"Oh my God, look at that. It dark outside. Sorry Y/N, I've overstayed my welcome here. This was really helpful."

I glanced at the clock and was shocked to find it was almost two hours after closing. The place was empty besides us.

"Hey, it's no big deal. I love to be of help in any way. I hope your friend will be satisfied with the answers."

"I hope so, too. He hasn't been himself lately. I find us growing apart day by day, and I don't like it. I know I'm rambling about something that doesn't interest you probably, sorry."

He put his head down and I could sense his unease.

"I want to know what bothers you Yunho. I consider you an acquaintance now. That's one step closer to friends I'd say."

The laught he let out sounded like one of relief. He notices my coffee cup (full of blood) and points at it. It was now my turn to feel uneasy.

"Your coffee got cold because of me. Sorry about that. I'll make it up to you."

I waved him away.

"No big deal, I like it cold anyway. By the way, if you need anything else, you know where to find me."

He nodded and grabbed the doorknob, without hitting the door like last time.

"Thank you Y/N. You're an angel, really. I'll see you around."

It almost felt as if my heart started and stopped beating all over again. Angel? Oh Yunho...

He was out of the door in a second, and I knew he was flustered again. Nevertheless, I waved as I watched him walk down the street for the second time this week.

Only this time, I knew I was in deep trouble.

.

.

.

The next morning I was browsing through the old book Yunho returned when I heard my newly installed bell ring. The man was handsome, abeit a bit short. His long black hair fell over his eyes and there was a little mole underneath one eye. Not a bad sight to see at ten o' clock.

"Hey there, how can I help you?"

"Hi. I'm looking for Y/N. I assume that's you. Listen, you may know me as Yunho's friend. I know you as the only other vampire in town, aside from the lunatic that turned me."

My hand flicking through the pages stopped.

"What in God's name are you talking about?"

I stood up and he hurried to the counter.

"Please Y/N. I don't have anybody else to talk to. I'm going out of my mind here."

I looked around the sitting area, fortunately sparce with customers. I turned towards him and grabbed his hand.

"Come with me."

I dragged him to the back of the supernatural section and tried to compose myself.

"How on Earth do you know what I am?"

He took a moment before he answered.

"I hoped you knew more about vampires than you told Yunho. Calling you one was a shot in the dark. However, when you count in all of the things you told him, some not even available on the internet, I knew you were different."

He took another deep breath.

"I need your help with controling these urges. Yunho probably hates me because I've been avoiding him for two months. That's pretty hard because we live together. We've known each other for twenty years, but I have this incredible urge to tear his neck appart with my teeth."

My eyes bled black and my hands were holding him by his throat against the shelves in an instant.

"You haven't done anything to him, have you? Believe me, I will rip your heart out and shove it down your throat in a second."

Wooyoung tried shaking his head, but he couldn't from my grip. I let him go and he crumbled to the floor. He started coughing, clawing at his throat in the process.

"No... God no! I had to bite three homeless people just last week so that I could come home and avoid him. I would personally kill myself if I let anything happen to him."

I nodded and crouched down to meet his gaze.

"What do you want then? I don't want him in danger, you've gathered as much."

"Okay, this may sound crazy to you, but I need you to come with us to a college bash on Saturday. I can't go there myself, not with too many people around. Yunho and I are at a breaking point. This anual bash is our tradition, this is the last year we can attend. He told me if I don't go with him he'll take that as the ending of our friendship. I can't let him down anymore Y/N. Please."

"Listen, and listen good pretty boy. I'm doing this for Yunho. I could care less if you went on a rampage, I just don't want him caught in the crossfire. Tell me the place and time and I'll be there."

He smiled as he stood up. I followed his movements.

"Believe me, I get it. I finally know why he hasn't stopped talking about you. You're hot as fuck when your mad."

I rolled my eyes and went around him.

"Keep dreaming, pretty boy. As you can tell, my cold heart has been stolen by your best friend."

If he wasn't a vampire, he would be classified as a puppy by the way he was following me.

"Yunho will deliver you all of the important details, don't worry. And hey, a guy could only dream. Besides, he's my best friend, I don't fuck with that."

I nodded as I watched him put his hood up before he opened the door. He pointed at it.

"The Sun is a pain in my ass. Anyways, see you on Saturday Y/N. Expect your boyfriend to stop by soon."

"He's not my..." He was out of the door before I could finish my sentence.

.

.

.

True to Wooyoung's word, Yunho showed up the next morning holding two coffees, one iced, the other hot, in a cup holder.

"Good morning Y/N. How have you been?"

If my heart was still beating, it would stop seeing his smile, directed right at me.

"Hey there. Not bad I might say. How about you? What brings you here? Antoher supernatural adventure?"

He chuckled and put the cups on the counter.

"Believe it or not, I don't want anything to do with the supernatural for a while." My smile dimmed a bit, but I brushed it off quickly.

"What is it then?"

"Well, I'm here to deliver you a new coffee, iced as I remember you liked it cold. And, um... I know Wooyoung's been here. He told you about the bash I assume?"

I took the coffee and held it in my hands. Vampires can indigest human food, but it mostly tastes like concrete. Don't ask me how I know to compare the two. Nevertheless, I took a sip, not wanting to make it suspicious.

Yep, cold, hard, concrete.

"He did. I was surprised at first, but I heard it means a lot to you. To be fair, I was waiting on you to fill me in. That's what a date should do I suppose?"

He flushed a bright red and adjusted his glasses.

"Well, yeah. I, um... I didn't think you would consider it a date, to be honest. I thought Wooyoung might one up me with that. But, yeah. I want you to go as my date, if you don't have anything better to do."

"Well, buddy boy, you're in luck. Aside from this library, my social life is pretty boring. And I won't oppose to a date with a handsome fellow like you."

Yunho got progressively more red as I kept on talking, or flirting my way around him. It felt good to see my impact on him.

"Well then, it's settled. It's on Saturday, which you knew already. It's at the big mansion a couple of miles from our campus. It's been passed down in the family, and our friend Hongjoong is the owner now."

I nodded as I scrabbled my address and phone number on a piece of paper. Handing it over to him I could see the confusion in his expression.

"This is my address and phone number. How can you know where to pick me up, silly? And I need to know more details by Saturday. I have to plan the best outfit for a college bash, God knows I haven't been to one in ages."

"You graduated already?"

I opened and closed my mouth. "Something like that."

"Okay then, it's settled. I hope you won't mind having Wooyoung come with us. I'm the one with the car."

I shook my head. "I don't mind at all, as long as I'm in the passanger seat."

His wide smile matched my own. "That can be arranged."

We looked at each other for some time before his flushed cheeks for the better of him.

"Well, I'll get going now. Enjoy your coffee Y/N. I'll see you on Saturday."

With that he stumbled his way out of the door, basking in the morning sunlight.

It's a shame my cold body couldn't join him in the pleasures.

.

.

.

Saturday rolled around faster than I expected, and here I was obsessing over what to wear. I haven't had this problem for litteral decades. Then again, I haven't been infatuated with a person as much as I am with Yunho.

He's used to seeing me in heels, jeans, sweaters and tight tops. However, tonight I'm pulling all of the stops.

With my blood-red dress, black strappy sandals with a killer heel, and the most expensive golden earrings on, I was more than ready. The perks of being a vampire is our natural beauty is enhanced after we turn. So, I know I'm radiating even more.

Yunho has been texting me non stop for the past couple of days. Texts turned into calls, which later became FaceTime calls. It was nice seeing him all relaxed, with his comfy pyjamas and black rimmed glasses.

What I also enjoyed was flustering him with my lacy tanks and satin nightgowns. I could see his flushed cheeks even with the bedroom light off.

Thinking about our late night talks almost made me miss the doorbell ringing. With one last look in the mirror, I was ready for this wild, college bash ride.

"Coming!" My heels clacked against the floor as I picked up my black handbag from the rack.

The door swung open and there he stood in all of his handsome glory, alongside a grining Wooyoung.

"Well hello there Y/N. You almost made my heart stop. Baby, you are on fire!"

Wooyoung winked at his own internal joke, but it made Yunho snap out of his trance. He ran his hand trough his brown locks and cleared his throat. He was wearing a black button down, top three buttons off, sleeves rolled up. The sliver of skin was enough to make me salivate. The veins on his arms were enought to make me go hungry.

"Hey Y/N. Wow... You look.... Just wow."

"Way to go big boy, your vocabulary is immaculate." Wooyoung jabbed him in the ribs and Yunho looked down at his shoes.

I glared at the shorter boy and smiled and Yunho.

"Thank you, buddy boy. I got dressed up all for you. Now, boys, we have a party to go to. Come on!"

Before he could react to my comment I was out of the door and down the steps to the exit. They followed after me as we stepped outside.

Yunho took the lead and opened his passanger door for me.

"Here you go Y/N."

"Thanks.... How nice of you to... -" "Hey that's my seat!"

If it weren't for my strength, I would be on my ass glaring up at this stupid, stupid boy.

"Knock it off Woo, it's hers for tonight."

The tone in Yunho's voice surprised the both of us. Shy, demure Yunho, being all manly? That did some things to me, not gonna lie.

"Okay, okay. I'll let her have it, but just for tonight! The things I do for young love!"

With his hands in the air, he let our a laugh before climbing into the backseat. Yunho shook his head and helped me sit as well. He walked around and hopped in beside me, turning the engine on and putting one hand on the wheel.

"Okay so the plan for tonight - get there, get drunk, then... Well that's all I've got."

The three of us laughed together.

"That's a smart and well thought out plan Woo." Yunho shook his head and turned on the radio to drown out the sound of his best friend.

"You do look really beautiful tonight Y/N. Sorry about my word vomit before. You kind of caught me off guard."

Getting shy is not my thing, but hearing him say it like that made me question if I, in fact, am bashful.

"Thank you. I must say, you look dashing as well. Black really is your colour." I winked and enjoyed his already flushed cheeks.

"Not to interrupt you lovebirds over there, but I think you missed a turn."

"Shoot."

After some driving around, we finally got to the place. I must say, college kids nowadays go all out on these things. The house was lit up and there was music blasting to the max. I could see couples making out along the walls, underaged teens sneaking their way in, and oh is that a beer keg thing? Boy, I'm too old for this.

"Come on people, let's party!" Wooyoung was out of the door before the engine was off.

"Is he always this energetic?" I turn to Yunho as I point in the direction his friend went in.

"Always. I think he was born a nuisance and stayed like that. You know, for once I'm glad he's like that. He hasn't been himself lately, and seeing him so enthusiastic gives me hope."

I smiled at the poor boy, feeling sorry he had no clue about the truth. In the end, this is why I'm supposed to be here. I need to keep an eye out for Wooyoung.

"Well then let's join him. You only live once, after all."

He smiled and we went up the steps leading to the grand entrance. It was packed with half-naked, grinding bodies. One of those bodies belonging to a person I hoped to never see again in my immortal life. He was still the same as 50 years ago. It didn't help that he noticed me, too. With a grin in his face,he made his was through the crowd and in front of me.

"Y/N Y/L. What a pleasure to see a familiar face."

"Seonghwa."

His black hair was longer now, bound by a hair tie. But his expression was the same as I remember. Same smug smile, droopy eyes and red painted lips.

Yunho stood confused for a second, noticing my trance. His hand took mine and if he hadn't squeezed me, I would still be as still as stone.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Seonghwa's eyes went to our hands and he smirked.

"My, my... You with a human? I must say, you surprise me Y/N."

Yunho for even more confused.

"Do you know this guy? What is he talking about?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Can you go get us some drinks? I promise I'm okay. Seonghwa's an... old friend of mine. Haven't seen him in ages."

"You're sure?" He squeezed my hand and I finally looked up at him.

"Yeah... Yes. Go buddy boy, I'll be right behind you."

He nodded, and with one last glance at Seonghwa, he was gone.

"So Y/N, baby. What is this about?"

My hard gaze caught his mischievous one.

"Do not call me that. You lost that privilege when you abandoned me to chase your own ambitions of becoming vampire royalty. And what the hell are you doing here anyways?"

He frowned for a second before putting himself together again.

"Hongjoong is a good friend of mine. I turned him a year ago when some freak stabbed him in an alley. Since then we've become like family. He has a hard time adjusting to vampire life, so I'm here to help."

He looked into my eyes.

"I know you are here on babysitting duty. That Wooyoung guy was collateral damage on one of Hongjoong's feedings gone wrong."

My eyes widened.

"You turned him? Is this what you do now? Turning innocent people for fun?"

Seonghwa's gaze hardened.

"You know I hate doing that more than anything. You know that best. I had to help them, I couldn't leave them be."

I was about to say something nasty to him when Yunho cađe back with two cups. He handed one to me.

"I didn't know if you liked alcohol so I got us some punch. Which is heavily infused with alcohol, a mistake I noticed right now actually."

He scratched at his head and gave me one of those bashful smiles again.

"Thank you, Yunho. I love punch...- " "Actually, she prefers red wine over anything else, but I suppose this will do. Enjoy yourselves kids. Glad seeing you again Y/N, you're as beautiful as I remember."

He out his cup in the air as a greeting and he was gone before I could blink.

"Wow, he's an asshole."

My eyes widened at the insult coming out of his mouth. How didn't I notice before...

"Yunho, did you have some punch before you came back?"

He nodded, a bit sloppy.

"Yeah, well... My nerves got the best of me so I chuged two cups. Did I mention I was a lightweight? No, probably not. Did I also mention that you look like an angel tonight? A red, hot, angel."

His bloodshot eyes reminded me this wouldn't be a conversation we'd be having if it weren't for the punch. But hey, a girl's gotta work with something.

"A red, hot angel? Can't say I've heard that before. Come on buddy boy, we need to find your pretty friend before he does something stupid."

"Hey how come you call him pretty? All I get is buddy." His little drunk pout was irresistible.

"Don't you worry. Wooyoung has got nothing on your handsome face. Don't get me started about your body." I winked and took his hand to lead him through the house. When I turned around all I could see was a goofy, but satisfied smile.

Not long after we found the troublemaker drinking from a vodka bottle, perched on top of the counter. He smiled widely when he noticed us.

"Well hey there lovebirds. How's it going? I drank my bodyweight in liqour but I can't feel a thing. Crazy, right? I suppose this is what comes with being..."

I put my hand over his mouth before he could finish the sentence.

"Hey Wooyoung, why don't we all head out for a bit. Since I know alcohol can lower your tolerance for different... Things."

He nodded and hopped down to his feet. My 'loverboy' was fast on our trail, although a bit pouty I let him go.

Once we stepped outside, the music wasn't so loud on mine and Wooyoung's poor ears. Yunho was in the background singing along happily. At least someone could enjoy it.

"I don't feel so good Y/N. I thought I could handle it, but I can't."

"You have to learn to fight it Woo. It won't be easy, but you have to resist. Remember that this is something you'll have to live with for eternity. It should be something you can control, not what controls you. You can do it, I know you..."

There was only one thing that could stop me mid sentence, even after a hundred years of practice.

Blood.

And by the smell of it, Yunho's.

"Aw man, I scraped my elbow on the wall. Clumsy me as always. Hey guys, you don't think I can die from this?"

Now, I've had my fair share of temptations, but I've got years of practice. I could see Wooyoung's eyes turning a crimson colour.

"Y/N. I want to bite him. I have to. The smell..."

"No, you don't. Listen to me Woo, you have to turn around and run. Please. You have to listen to me."

He shook his head and grabbed at his hair.

"No, no, no... I can't. Oh my God, I want to kill him."

I slapped him across the face.

"Listen to me you big baby. You think this is going to get any easier? It won't! You have to learn to control it. Ground it. Step on that desire. This is Yunho we are talking about. Sweet, funny, clumsy Yunho. Your best friend."

He closed his eyes and gulped. I could see the painful grip he had on himself.

"Y/N? Hey, is everything okay with Woo? I know I stumbled a bit, but I'm okay. Here I'll show you!"

"No, Yunho stay where..."

Everything happened in a second. Yunho took two steps forward and Wooyoung snapped.

He pushed past me at high speed and grabbed Yunho by the neck. I could see the shock sobering him up.

"Wooyoung! Let him go, now!"

"I can't Y/N. I can't! I have to eat!"

"No, please, Wooyoung! No!"

Before long, his fangs went into Yunho's neck. I pulled him off as quickly as I could and Yunho's body slumped to the floor.

"Let me go, please! I have to eat!" There were tears flowing down his face as he pleaded with me to let him go.

I could hear Yunho's shallow breaths as he laid on the ground. I couldn't let go of Wooyoung, but Yunho's situation wasn't any better. I was about to panic when Seonghwa appeared before me.

"Go save your boyfriend Y/N. I'll handle Wooyoung."

"He's not my... You know what, thank you. Please, be careful with him."

"I will, I promise."

I quickly ran toward the boy who got my cold heart beating and saw his face. He looked like he was asleep.

"Hey buddy boy, it's going to be okay. I'll make sure you're safe. Come on baby boy, you can do it."

I picked him up and leaned his weight on my side. Seonghwa and Wooyoung were long gone.

.

.

.

The night was hell. I took Yunho to my apartment and hooked him up to an IV I kept for when I accidentally fed on someone too much. He was laying in my room, covered with a blanket. He looked peaceful like this.

I couldn't help the guilt eating away at me. If I hadn't moved to this town, then Seonghwa wouldn't have tried to find me. It's always like that with us, but I think even he knows after last night, we are officially done.

I was too deep into my thoughts to notice Yunho's eyes opening.

"One hell of a party, was it?"

My head shot up to look into his eyes. He had a small smile on his face.

I sat beside him and put a hand on his cheek.

"Hey buddy boy, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. A bit tired and sore, but I know how I am when I drink. I didn't ruin anything for you, did I? I don't remember much after..."

He got quiet all of the sudden.

"After what Yunho?"

He swallowed.

"After Woo bit me."

The room grew cold in an instant.

"I saw you throwing him off of me. I also heard you talking about blood? It's all jumbled. Although I get it now. Your knowledge about the supernatural, it's beyond any book we've found."

I couldn't look him in the eyes. I was too scared, for the first time in my immortal life.

"I... Yunho... You are too smart for your own good."

He nodded.

"Yeah, I know that."

He saw my hands had gone back to my lap, so he reached over and grabbed them with his warm ones.

"I'm not mad at you, or Wooyoung. I get that you couldn't tell me. Doesn't mean I'm not butt-hurt about it. I am more upset that our night was ruined because I wanted to tell you something."

I locked eyes with him and instead of hatred, all I could see was...

"I like you Y/N. You and your brain, full of knowledge. Your strut in those heels. The way you smile, the way you smirk. Your big eyes, which apparently change colour. But most of all, I love that you helped me even with my awkward self almost crying of embarrassment."

"Oh, Yunho. You have no idea how much I've wanted to tell you the same thing. I like your smile, I like your big round, kind eyes. I love your clumsy nature. You've become someone very dear to me."

He squeezed both of my hands and sat up in the bed.

"Y/N. I'm going to kiss you now."

All I could do was nod.

His plump lips were on mine in a second. If our simple touch contained sparks, this kiss was full of fireworks. I couldn't stop myself from pulling him even closer by holding his face.

He seemed to have the same idea, and put me in his lap, arms circling around my waist.

We got a bit carried away, and the kisses soon turned desperate. Only when I heard him wince did I stop abruptly.

"Sorry baby, my neck hurts a bit more than I thought."

"Baby? Oh my... Sorry, yeah, we'll stop."

He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I guess I'll have to get used to having a vampire girlfriend from now on."

Wait, what?

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, well, unless you don't want that?"

"Oh hell yeah I want that!"

He chuckled and pulled me closer, laying my head on his chest.

"Thank you Y/N. I can't wait to take you out on a real, not so bloody date."

I smiled into his chest.

"Yeah, me too."

.

.

.

One year later

"Woo, I swear to God, if you as much as drop one book I will snap your neck."

"Okay boss, I get it. Precious antiques and all."

"Don't make my girlfriend mad Woo, she's stronger than you."

"Yeah, yeah I get it."

He left to rearrange the new books he brought back with Seonghwa after their last trip. My ex has been helpful in training the newborn, because I have my hands full with another one.

"Baby, where do you keep your coffee cups with the lids?"

"Under the desk Yun, you know that."

He came up behind the desk with three cups and a bag of blood.

"Yeah, but you know me. This newborn brain gets me muddled."

He begged me to change him after our six-month anniversary. I had to think about it for a while, but I eventually accepted.

I can't imagine a lifetime without this giant, clumsy boy next to me.

And now, with his arms around my waist while we drink our daily dose of B positive, I don't have to.

"I love you, buddy boy."

"Love you too, my angel."

[theawkwardsiren]

Toxic - Veneer x F!Reader (angst/fluff) part 4

summary - you've been abducted, will Veneer find you before your ex tries to kiss you? part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.

warnings - your toxic and insane ex, angst (little bit)

The house that used to once be comforting and safe for you now felt cold and hostile, filled with dread and unsung threats. The couch that once held so much warmth and love now felt like you were sitting on ice, hard and devoid of heat.

Where you once felt happy, you now felt sick and afraid.

Food he'd provided over an hour ago sat stale on the coffee table in front of you, although you could have warmed it up with the heat and intensity of your gaze. You couldn't look anywhere else.

You wouldn't.

"Oh come on, don't be like that."

Your head didn't even move as he sat down next to you, driven by your refusal to cast your eyes on something so horrific.

"You should eat."

"No thanks," you replied flatly. "Might just throw it back up."

He chuckled, "There's that sense of humour." He shifted closer, but paused when he noticed the way your body tensed up at his proximity. "Seems like you've forgotten how close we used to be."

"Happily, yes."

"You know, I was nice the first time around, but you didn't want to listen-"

"As if that's an excuse to become crazy and psychotic-"

"I'm not crazy, I just love you. I do, you know."

"Uh huh. I suppose you didn't say that to your new toy?"

He grit his teeth hearing you say that, "She's not important. I just needed her help getting to you. But after all of this, I'll make her leave and we can be together again." He leaned in uncomfortably close, hand coming up to touch your cheek. "I really want to kiss you."

You flinched away from his touch and gagged at his words, "Don't touch me."

"Hmmm, I think you need a few more hours. Then you'll be ready."

Unlikely, you thought. But if he was going to leave now, you didn't want to say anything that might extend this disgusting conversation. You let him get up and leave, burying your face in your hands afterwards and letting the tears fall.

"Where are you, Veneer?"

-

"Okay she's not at her house."

"They wouldn't take her there, too obvious," (Friend's Name) shook her head. "And I know where he lives, so he wouldn't take her there." She sighed, then her eyes lit up. "Or maybe he would."

Veneer looked at her sceptically, "No one's that dumb."

"He is," she argued. "I don't think he'd take her to his bimbo's house, she doesn't seem very happy about his fixation on (Name)."

"She's not the only one," the green-haired singer grumbled.

"But obviously we can't just pull up and expect him to just hand her over," (Friend's Name) went on, "So we're going to have to figure out how to trick him into bringing her out."

"You could always just set up a fake meeting with him, tell him you'll act like you're walking by while they kiss, and fake break up with her when it happens," Velvet suggested, earning looks from your friend and her brother. "What? You won't actually do it, when he brings her we just surround him and force him to give her up."

"And call the authorities," (Friend's Name) finished, "I like it. Best idea we've got."

Veneer wasn't so convinced, "What if he doesn't believe me?"

"He will," (Friend's Name) assured him. "He is that stupid."

"But I'm only helping on one condition," his sister stood up, "I am going to strangle that sorry excuse of a man."

"No complaints here," (Friend's Name) conceded, "I might even help."

'"I feel sick," the male twin admitted once his sister had left the room.

"That's normal," (Friend's Name) assured him, "You're just really worried. But we're going to get her back, I promise."

"The thought of her with him..."

"Don't think about it, she won't let him kiss her. No way. She'll delay him as much as she plausibly can, so we just need to hurry with this plan. She's so obsessed with you, you know."

"She is?" Veneer's eyes widened.

"Oh yeah! She gushes about you after every date, talks about you first thing in the morning, and frees up her schedule for all your performances. I've never seen her so in love, actually. So I'm really grateful to you, you helped her get over that scumbag so she could find real love."

Veneer's eyes glistened. He had no idea he'd had that effect on you. he wasn't used to hearing such good things about himself, he was rarely complimented by Velvet.

He glanced down at your phone, turning it on to look again at your lockscreen. It was you and him, hugging and laughing as you kissed his cheek. His heart ached at the thought of how you might be feeling at this moment, and he clutched the device to his chest.

"Let's go get our girl."

-

"Really? And why should I believe you?"

You tried not to listen in on his conversation, but other than staring at the wall you didn't have much to do.

"I see. I'm glad you're finally seeing reason."

You wondered who it was, and what they were discussing. Some part of you hoped it was Veneer trying to strike a deal for your return, but you knew that the conversation wouldn't be so calm if it was.

"Let's do it this afternoon. I want it done as soon as possible."

He hung up then, and footsteps told you he was coming into the lounge where you were sitting stubbornly.

"Looks like you really don't know your boyfriend after all," he taunted, sounding amused - and suspiciously smug. "I guess his fame and reputation mean more to him than you."

"What are you talking about?" You hissed, finally looking up.

"He just agreed to let me kiss you in public, and then break up with you afterwards. Isn't that great?"

Your heart sunk to the bottom of your stomach. Bile was quick to form in your throat as a sick feeling overtook you, dread and disbelief making your stomach churn unpleasantly.

"No...you're lying," your voice cracked, "He wouldn't..."

"I was on the phone with him just now," (Random Name) flopped down beside you. "We're meeting this afternoon. Need a hug?"

He opened his arms invitingly but you pushed him and got up, running to the bathroom with your hand covering your mouth. It wasn't long before you were retching into the toilet, tears flooding your eyes and streaming down your cheeks.

Was everything you knew about him wrong? Did history really just repeat itself, a boyfriend betraying you? You found it hard to believe, but (Random Name) was so smug you knew it must be true.

Were you doomed to never be happy with someone you loved?

-

The afternoon came a lot faster than you wished it would, fear and dread gnawing at your insides. You felt weak and dizzy as you were escorted out the house and into his car, your knees wobbling as you walked.

"Don't worry honey," he kissed your cheek, much to your disgust, "This will all be over soon, and I'll make sure you're never unhappy again."

You didn't think you could anymore sick or creeped out. You had reached your limit, and now slumped back against the seat dejectedly. There was nothing you could do, so might as well just accept it.

"I hate you."

"Oh quit being dramatic," he glared, "Your supposedly perfect and loving superstar boyfriend just tossed you aside like it's nothing. I'm trying to help."

"Help?" You laughed in exasperation. "None of this would have happened if not for your obsessive and creepy behaviour!"

"You're going to thank me!" He raised his voice, hands tightening on the steering wheel. "You belong with me. Always have, always will. And one day, you'll realise that. I can wait."

The conversation stopped there, because soon the car stopped outside a familiar public area. The restaurant that you had originally made a reservation at for his and your date, but had gone to with Veneer instead.

Despite it only being a month and a half ago, it felt like forever. So much had happened.

You spotted a familiar white limo, and your heart crawled into your throat. Was this really happening? You barely had time to pinch yourself before the door was opening, and you were pulled out of the car. Immediately, you heard gasps and saw people pointing.

"Is that Veneer's girlfriend? With another guy?"

"Is she cheating on him?"

"How could she? No, how dare she?"

Your head automatically lowered as you took in their harsh and accusing words, biting your lip as you stared at the ground.

"Look up, sweetheart," (Random Name) whispered, tilting your chin up. "It's time."

"No," you uttered weakly, so soft nobody heard. You were broken.

As his arms slithered around your waist - he was clearly enjoying himself and making a show of it, the limo door opened and a familiar figure stepped out, right as (Random Name)'s lips met yours.

The kiss didn't last long, because your ears picked up the unmistakable sound of someone being punched. You opened your eyes to see (Random Name) had been ripped away from you, a pale fist hanging in the air where his face had just been.

"I'm getting really tired of saying this," Veneer snarled, tone laced with fury that chilled you to your bone, "Get away from my girlfriend."

"Veneer," you sobbed, getting the teen's attention.

"(Name)!" He rushed over to you, pulling you flush against him and bringing a hand to your cheek. "Hey, princess. It's okay, I'm here. It's going to be okay."

You only sobbed harder, your body shaking so violently it hurt Veneer's heart. He was quick to push your face into his neck as his arms engulfed you, kissing the top of your head. He held you tightly, cradling you against his chest and turning you away from the sight of Velvet screaming at (Random Name) while strangling him as she promised.

"It's over, baby."

a/n - i hope this doesn't disappoint! we are now done with the angst, so expect a buttload of fluff in the fifth and final part!

[hermitw]

Jjk theories / opinions / thoughts part 3 uwu (they are becoming more stupid and less coherent, let's go)

-Gege began the rumor about sukuna drinking his own milk. It is TOO MUCH OF SOMETHING GEGE WOULD SAY I cannot be convinced otherwise

-Gojo's twink death happened in the prison realm

-kenjaku was involved in founding the star religious group. He's already been making pacts with sorcerers for a thousand years, so putting him in the Nara era isn't a stretch. We already know he made several attempts to interrupt the star plasma vessels. (yes I blame him for every thing ever. His fault. And I think he'd rather watch things crumble than do the work directly bc then it's like a game, unexpected things happen and it's more interesting. Bro is always playing games even with curses smh)

-Hakari would have started a fight club to fund Kirara's transition. Idk if the higher ups would have had issues w trans students or just with Hakari's unconventional domain and methods (not hesitating to lose a foot bc he'll get it back, for example), but Gojo called them a lot of variations of conservative idiots so it seems likely I think. And they left the school before she even came out, bc Panda didn't know.

-kinda unfair that Yuta gets to transfer into Gojo with his best outfit on, he didn't have to dress like Edward Cullen for years to get there (pls don't get offended I swear to God it's a joke but also I do kinda feel this way lmaoooo)

-how the fuck do nanako and mimiko's technique work? They're twins right? I get the feeling like Mimiko can't use one on her own, but she likes to threaten people with her doll and Nanako can hang people with it. I rly wish we got to see them more (I want to believe they survived sukuna bc Geto would have prepared those girls to stay safe, maybe there's just a time lag or something pls)

IN THE AIRPORT SCENE there's even Toji but those girls are not there so that gives me hope I kajahxkakdn (I get that maybe it's Gojo's mindscape but how would he have known that Haibara showed up to Nanami? It's not just his imagination imo, those girls are alive, I need them to be.)

-I miss rainbow dragonnnnnnnn I'm so sad and still mad at toji (despite my theory that he lost himself bc the worm is banana fish I'm just bitter lmao)

-I'm so fucking sad that we didn't get to see Hanami's domain. So I made one up myself but I don't have a name for itnkajsxjskmax I just think Hanami needed a redemption arc like Choso got :(((

-the other dubs are so fkn good that when I'm tired of it I'll just play that shit in another language. The first minute of the series in French tho made me laugh so hard I had to change it. But the exchange event in German was so good

-remember when Megumi brought out Max Elephant against Noritoshi Kamo? It's like. He knew that the blood manipulation weakness was water. Maybe that's a benefit of growing up in one of the 3 major clans.

-I feel like no one ever talks about how Megumi lost Orochi AND one of the demon dogs that was with him since he was a kid when he also watched Sukuna rip out Yuuji's heart. Like we all talk about how he gets more upset over losing animals than people but all 3 of those events at once... I was rly sad at first bc I wanted to see the snake more too.

-Megumi's head bleeding in every fight for most of the anime is meant to represent that his weakness is in his head.

-when it's raining, that shows that the characters are up against something bigger than they are prepared for. (I made a whole list of every use of water and its symbolism but God I feel insane)

-the shibuya arc hurts less to watch after the first 5 times (I think? I'm on My 9th watch and I think 2 1/2 read. It's hard to keep track at this point)

-I want to see the extended mahoraga vs sukuna fight in theaters I'm so jealous oh god

-I cannot be convinced that a single character in this show is heterosexual. Everyone is gay except for hakari ig but he's an ally so

-I think that Miguel and Larue might be together but idk

-kinda weird that no one mentioned nanako or mimiko (like how no one mentioned todo and he was fiiiiiine I knew he was having fun in the culling game the whole time)

-despite how much I love hanami, my favorite animated Gojo scenes are when he is exorcising them. The English dub especially oh god

[darkkitty1208]

on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?

So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.

I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.

Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?

Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.

You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.

Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.

(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)

I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.

In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.

Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)

So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.

When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.

...

Can I?

...

Yeah, no. Definitely not.

See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.

I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?

Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.

So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)

But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.

Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.

[wikitpowers]

”memories” by conan gray. kit and ty. CHANGE MY MIND OH MY GOD

Please don't make it harder than it already is I'm trying to get over this

I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that

Now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night You see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning Over and over again I promise that the ending always stays the same So there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again

I can't be your friend, can't be your lover Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love With somebody other than me

Since you came I guess I'll let you stay For as long as it takes

NO STOP BC I JUST LISTENED AND IT IS SO FUCKING GOOD AND INSANELY KITTY CODED NOOOOO WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME :'(

u already typed out the lyrics so i won't go into too much detail analysing but i just wanna say:

the start really made me think of kit and how hard it is for him to get over ty, how every time somebody mentions him, it gets harder and harder to stop thinking about him. and the part where conan sings about showing up and ruining things is CRAZY bc we know that will link so hard to the cirenworth reunion scene and ahhhhBsahjsz. plus when trauma was mentioned.... let's just say kitty!coded...

"now i can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night" is making me think of ty sleeping outside kit's room in tda and him definitely doing it again in twp when he wants to protect kit :( and the lyrics "there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again" are so freaking heartbreaking (💔) like just stop stop stop make it stop god. it heavily links to them both being convinced they will never work.

and then the bit about not being anything to each other anymore, how they're like strangers now *breaks down* and then to top it all off, conan had to nerve to sing about falling in love with other people, which ty for sure thought kit did when he heard about his relationship with hazel, when he saw the photo of them two together (bc i hc that he did). and then the song finishing with lyrics about letting each other stay, accepting that they're still in love with each other and the fact that they aren't gonna stop being in love. god my heart broke :(

[trans-queen-administrator]

One year ago, give it take a few days, I started reading Worm. I finished it in a week. I don't think I'll ever read a story that affects me as much as Taylor's did, and since it's the anniversary of me reading Worm I think I might as well get sappy and emotional and write out how much Worm impacted me.

Tw: talking about suicide

I was in a terrible spot before Worm. Behind in every single class, failing to eat or drink or even just get out of bed for entire days, ghosting all of my friends and family just because I couldn't work up the will to talk, I just rotted in my dorm all day and let the tasks pile up higher and higher because I didn't know how to dig myself up, so I just gave up. I found Worm from some stupid meme that I saw while scrolling through social media for 13 hours a day in an attempt to drown out thoughts, and for reasons I still don't know I started to read it instead of returning to my blank inertia. I hadn't had the mental willpower to read or even feel anything in months, and it was completely out of character to immediately read it instead of just saying I'd do it later.

My sleep schedule was already fucked, once I got started it wasn't really a shock that I stayed up until like 5 am.

The week went by, I got to Leviathan, the Nine, Echidna, countless incredible interludes, and somewhere early on I think Worm became some sort of last hurrah. I'm not totally sure if I would have done it, but I had rough plans for methods of killing myself. Worm is a long work, impressively so, I was telling myself I'd finish it so I had something to be at least somewhat proud of before I went. It was a means of procrastination for the end since I didn't want to leave it unfinished, and also a road to it since once I was done reading then it would be time.

I became completely closed off from the world, even more than I had been previously. I dropped any pretenses of passing or attending class, what would the point be when I wouldn't be around for the grade? My meals became even less frequent, and when I had them it was always accompanied by reading. My sleep time was cut in half, I was waking up earlier and going to bed later all to read Worm. It was a week long fugue where I ceased to exist except for my ability to read the text. Once I was done reading, that would be it for me, and since I had closed myself off from pretty much everything there were no outside sources to convince me to change my mind. Just Worm. And it managed to do it.

Something about Taylor's absolutely insane amount of willpower just hit me hard. I remember when I read Speck and was reduced to a sobbing wreck for a day that was one of my strongest thoughts about her. She just tried so hard for everything, and absolutely never gave up as long as there was some way she could try to do something. I never learned how to put all my effort into stuff, but Taylor was inspiring enough that I wanted to at least try to learn how to try. It sounds cringey to write down, but if she could try so hard that she united all of humanity to kill an omnicidal god, then I could at the very least try to eat lunch.

Speaking of lunch, I read 90% of Speck in the corner of my college dining hall. It was like 4:00 and I was the only one there somehow, which is great because I was breaking down the entire time as I read Taylor fall apart. I don't think I'll ever read anything that hurt as much as Speck.

Another part of Taylor that was just as crucial to making me want to live was showing how much her self destructiveness hurt others. How could I justify killing myself when I just read how much it fucking tore at Taylor's friends when she became Khepri? When Lisa scrambled to just barely save Taylor from a suicide attempt in the first chapter of Gold Morning? Even when she just left them behind, Rachel's anguish was palpable, so who was I to ghost my friends because I was too scared to text anyone? I always knew on a logical level people would be sad if I died, but seeing such solid depictions of hurt from similar situations just... I dunno, I couldn't justify it when it was so much clearer to me how much it would hurt people I love.

I took a day to emotionally recover from the mental rewiring that comes from finishing Worm, and then I called my parents and told them how poorly I had been doing. I hadn't done it before because I didn't want to be a burden. They were happy to help. I dropped all my classes and went home. Worm stayed with me, it gave me some sort of substance to my life, something to latch on to. Making ideas for fanfics that I'd never write, talking with friends I'd made through Worm, rereading Speck if I needed a good cry, all of it kept me going and made my life feel less flat. Like five months later I started posting to this account and that was another outlet. It was just fun to analyze the text and make up theories about this work that did so much for me, and when I finally started posting them online that was good fun too. Thank y'all for reading my dinky little rambles, somehow I've cracked 400 followers on what was originally just a place for me to write down my thoughts during lunch hour at a mental hospital. Whenever I get a detailed comment in the notes, or I see someone like/reblog 20 of my posts in a row as they scroll through, or I see the names of people I always see in my notifications it just makes my day. Y'all are lovely.

And well, now it's been a year. Worm was supposed to be the final story I read, a countdown to the end in 1.7 million words, but it managed to convince me to keep going. I didn't think I'd make it to the next year or even the next month, but it's November again and I'm still here. I'm not doing great, but I'm here and I have Worm to thank for that.

[sillypiratelife]

The more I think about it, the more insane the first Mihawk and Zoro encounter is.

Mihawk adopted Zoro right in front of Zeff and went directly to tell Shanks about it???

No, but seriously. There's no way Zeff didn't feel a bit invested in the chaos. He saw Zoro giving his all for his dream and he knew that's how Sanji was too, it's just that Sanji gave up for some reason guilt. It was not only Luffy who convinced Zeff that he needed to kick Sanji out of the Baratie and sent him sailing with those idiots, but also freaking Zoro.

Zoro addressing Luffy as the pirate king in front of everyone??

Fever whenever I think of how you could say Mihawk proclaimed Zoro as Luffy's first mate on the spot. He really said "you two came in the same pack. good". It's like? Oh look, the kid I just adopted is besties with the kid of one of my friends. How convenient.

Mihawk's tiny baby knife. It reminds me of the knife Luffy cut his cheek with when he wanted to prove to Shanks that he was ready to sail with him. Except both Zoro and Luffy gained their mentors' respect, meaning that Shank left Luffy with a hat that identified him from there on, while Mihawk left Zoro with a giant scar all across his chest as the promise Zoro must fulfill to Mihawk.

The fact Mihawk identified Luffy from Shank's stories and he judged Luffy also based on his compatibility with Zoro??????? Sure, only the pirate king would be worthy of having the greatest swordsman in his crew.

Sanji. Sanji's reaction to the whole thing. The desperation in his voice. I still can't believe it was the way Sanji was truly introduced to Zoro. Of course they are not normal about each other. Sanji was screaming for Zoro to give up so he wouldn't die and Zoro was asking for death so he wouldn't be defeated.

"Why are the fighting all the time?" MAYBE BECAUSE THEY STAND DIRECTLY ON TWO OPPOSITE SIDES IN THAT MATTER???

There were already two swordsmen following Zoro?? Calling him big brother?? There were five young men around Zoro's age there and he absolutely didn't disappoint in guiding by example? It was a Zoro masterclass on how to be a strawhat. What a time to be alive.

I just love that everyone was losing their mind over Mihawk and his powers and Zoro just. Jumped to face him. Mihawk told him YOU ARE A KID and Zoro proceeded to impress Mihawk so hard, the man became a fan. It's? Simply?? Idk, idk!

Sanji's family remembers Zoro and Luffy like that. Do you understand what that means? Ussop was kinda there and Nami didn't make the best of first impressions, but Luffy and Zoro made a total show. At that point, Zeff was the kind of dad who almost forced his kid to befriend the other kids he thinks that will be a good influence.

Which again. Insane.

Luffy ready to throw hands over Zoro did not surprise me. The intensity of his panic? The hurt on the way he screamed Zoro's name? He was sweating, using all his willpower to control himself and not interrupt Zoro's fight, he was cursing Mihawk and going wild and— I cannot breathe whenever I remember how Luffy met Zoro, how their friendship started. No one else knows that Zoro was on a Marine base CRUCIFIED. Some freaking pulling this Jesus out of the cross and taking him with me to see the world shit going on here.

The whole Zoro basically crucified image and the whole cross imagery with Mihawk and— I'm not going that route today, sorry.

THE VOW. THE VOW. THE VOOOOOOOOW.

WERE YOU WORRIED ABOUT ME?

AND HE WAS.

The way Sanji calls back to the vow when he criticizes Zoro in Alabasta for being worried about Luffy losing. The Zoro Sanji knows is the one who raised his arm and called Luffy the pirate king, the one who vowed to never lose again to not worry Luffy. Sanji was not happy to see Zoro so out of himself and in a weird (their) way, he was reassuring Zoro. Ugh. My brain hurts.

But then again, Zoro was acting exactly how Luffy acted before. The first fight of Luffy vs Crocodile is clearly paralleling the Zoro vs Mihawk first encounter. I'll need a therapist after this.

I'm just now reading the version of the manga and not the anime and wjdnkdbfjej I just—

The end(?)