#( i give myself one (1) reply here before work; tomorrow.........i'm taking a final exam *sighs* )

[shymaidxn]

@barmeciide

There were certain things Berlin struggled with. Or, well, there were quite a few things he struggled with. If he were to actually compose an exhaustive list of them, he had little doubt it would go on for miles upon miles. However, he was always aware that turning people down or refusing to help someone would have been rather high up on that list, which was how he had managed to get himself into this situation in the first place. And, despite the fact that the idea of performing in front of anyone - much less in front of crowd and on a stage - was enough to leave him feeling physically ill, he still didn’t possess the courage or heart to inform the Captain that he had no desire, whatsoever, to sing alongside a few of the other members of the crew at a relief concert for an island that had recently suffered from a landslide. Truthfully, he had spent the last few days since the Captain asked him if he wished to take part, swallowing down bile and Bahamut knows what else just so he would, hopefully, not heave in front of a group of strangers and allies alike.

His racing heart wasn’t doing him any favors either, nor was the fact that he hadn’t eaten in the two days since he had agreed to the concert because he was so nervous. It had been utterly thoughtless of him to agree, but he couldn’t say no out of a deeply ingrained fear of upsetting the Captain, but now his other deeply ingrained fear of disappointing others was rearing its ugly head. It was enough to leave him sitting on the deck of the Grandcypher, clutching the various pieces of sheet music he needed to memorize for the event to his chest, and inhaling against the fresh air just to try to give his weak heart a break from the stress. But it was hardly enough to appease his anxious mind and body. Not when the only time he had ever sang for someone had been for…him. At least, willingly, until the Captain had overheard him one day.

Which is how this mess had happened in the first place, and he has to swallow the pathetic whimper that threatens to heave past as his lips as he pries the papers away from his chest to glance down at them once more. His fingers trembling as he crinkles their corners to keep the wind from yanking them out of his grasp. Lips pursing and brows twisting into confusion until he hears the sound of footsteps nearby, and spots Diantha. There’s a mixture of panic and worry in his eyes as he gracelessly rises from where he had been sitting, and clumsy rushes over to her with the sheet music. “Um…excuse me,” he pants, hanging his head low. “I-I’m sorry, but would you be willing to tell me what t-this word is?” He stutters, pointing at the paper. Reading happened to be on that horribly long list, as well, having only just learned how a few years ago.

{Berlin - For GBF/Your default verse!}

Truthfully, Diantha never thought she would be in a concert again after she was done being a maiden. But skyfarer life has of course made her think wrong. Lilele was eager to sing with her, she had taken quite a few quests from choirs and bands alike to help either fill in or teach, and there’s even been the occasional event where she was either volunteered or driven enough to volunteer herself. The lattermost reason was why she had new sheet music neatly tucked into her music binder, having been volunteered by the captain, and was both more than willing to help the island in need while also not being able to refuse their darling smile. Though she was sure nobody would really turn down the situation. Queen Orchis was more than willing to run the event to help any of her stricken people, and the Knickknack Shack was more than willing to offer all the supplies needed for the same reason, which just left the need for volunteers for the relief concert…Which left both ladies asking the grandcypher for help when they needed the extra help, which left the more musically inclined on the ship to practice up a storm. Everyone’s instruments echoed through the ship until it was louder than the engine, and everyone’s voices made her ears perk up more than the slight creaks in the hull at midnight. 

She of course wasn’t slacking, practicing in her room and on the deck whenever possible, and so many notes were jotted down in her own sheet music that there was practically no blank space left. Though, with practice comes past practices, if only because of the importance of this particular concert. Many more late nights than usual, filled with chiding herself back into her anxious perfectionist mindset from when she was a maiden, making sure she sang every note beautifully for hours on end so as to not mess up come performance day. Meals are skipped or micromanaged, only coming out of her room ever so often if her attention was absolutely needed elsewhere, and most of her free time and other hobbies pushed to the side in favor of concentration. A better performance would bring better prosperity, both for the island and for the ease of her heart, as is ingrained in her…

And yet she knew, deep down, that those weren’t the healthiest habits to maintain. That she was no longer shackled as the leader of the maidens; that one mistake wouldn’t be the downfall of an entire island. While this concert was important and to be taken seriously because of the relief efforts tied to it, there was no need to stress so much over something that was supposed to be simply a fundraiser meant to lift the spirits of the weary. It had taken her a night of confiding in those close to her, and those people very much urging her to get a good night’s sleep afterwards, for her to realize all this. And while her anxiety made her battle their sound claims and concerns, in the end she submitted, slowly feeling the shackles release her, at least for the moment, upon remembering how she was so cared for on this ship.

That good realization lulls her into a rem sleep, but the sun had barely prickled the horizon by the time she was up again. Always the early riser she was, yet not wanting unneeded worries hurled her way by other early birds, she decided it best to just take a small stroll on the deck after she knew she couldn’t fall back asleep. Even with the dark circles under her eyes that makeup couldn’t fully mask, she still felt much better than she had in these past couple of days, and some fresh air against the warmth of the rising sun would make her old habits hide further into their dark recesses. So, sluggishly dressing in casual clothes, she made her way to the deck as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb the other inhabitants - The soft scent of the first couple cups of coffee brewing in the cafe was so tempting to follow, yet she also didn’t want her morning to start with a worried scolding from either of the angel owners. She pressed on until she felt the morning winds whip her hair, all her dark auburn locks down to catch the flow, footsteps falling heavier with the confidence that there was no one else to disturb -

“Ah?!” Seeing the man looked so panicked makes her fully wake up instantly, arms instinctively coming out at his fumbling to his feet for fear of him toppling himself overboard, and the bright rays of dawn into her eyes makes her let out the near shriek as he makes his way towards her. Squinting, blinking, rubbing her eyes - it takes her a few moments of staring down at the wooden deck for the dots in her eyes to disappear. It takes a bit longer to let her eyes focus on the word he points to, a yawn escaping her before finally, “Rhapsody.” falls from her lips. One look up to capture who she’s actually speaking to makes her heightened senses ease a little. Berlin; she hadn’t interacted with him too much, but she’s gathered enough from being around him to know what was up. “It’s a noun meaning ‘an unrestrained enthusiastic or ecstatic expression of feeling.’.” she explained a bit because of that knowledge, hoping that helps him understand the word a bit better.

Looking down at the word again, her vision finally takes in the similar pieces of sheet music she had been pouring herself over. She recalls the captain going over the names of the people performing, though she wonders if she either didn’t remember Berlin being called out, or if perhaps he had joined a bit later. Whatever the case, it makes her feel awake once more, turning to look at Berlin again with a tired, soft smile. “Are there any other words you need help with? I can jot some examples of them down for you too, if you want.” Although she’s sure some of the crew would give her concerned or stern stares after they had just talked her down from overworking herself over this song, she could assure them that helping Berlin wasn’t the same as stressing herself into not eating breakfast.