#( but no problemo right?? there's a coffee machine at work )

[my-happy-little-bean]

Do The Cooking By The Book

pairings: LAMP/CALM words: 6013 warnings: swearing, alcohol, implied panic attacks, small burn mention, general angst summary: patton bakes when he’s sad and nowadays, no amount of chewy chocolate chip cookies would be able to cover that up.

or: the five times patton bakes something for the others and the one time he can’t.

a/n- hello! welcome to part 2 of that series i mentioned before called  ‘let’s indulge bean in their slightly low quality, very personal fics’ (maybe i should actually make this an actual series on ao3 lol) :’)

i have been having a bit of writer’s block between this patton/janus one shot and golden slumbers (there's just o n e more scene i need to figure out, trust me it's haunting my every move), so i decided to write a bit of a fresh warm up instead! and by warm up, i mean i started writing it in the beginning of july and it somehow spiralled into a big thing, like they always do :’)

inspired by my declining mental health and my unhealthy obsession with baking focaccia at 2 am :)

p.s – later there's a [1] that's supposed to be a footnote but the formatting just said no so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

read on ao3 ~

enjoy!

----------------------------- 

~ patton’s chewy chocolate chip cookies ~

ingredients: 

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

0 teaspoon club soda

2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened (or melted, like my heart around my honeybees <3)

1 3/4 cups packed dark brown sugar (must be working out ;) )

1/4 cup granulated sugar sugar, honey honey (except no honey :P)

2 large eggs, room temp.

2 teaspoons vanilla extract (and not any extra-ct ;) )

2 cups Virgil-esque chocolate chips*

 *semi-sweet! ^v^

 –– 

“Holy shit, Pat.”

Patton smiled, all toothy and wide. He was still standing beside the couch Roman was lounging on, holding up the tray with his pastel blue oven mitts.

“You like it?” he beamed. Roman nodded, scrambling over the armrest to grab another.

“Umfh,  yeah,”  Roman replied, crumbs spilling out of his mouth. “Ovfiously.”

“...What?”

Roman quickly swallowed and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Patton laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “No worries! I think it’s a- dough -able.”

“...If you weren’t holding cookies right now, I'd say that you suck. But you're holding cookies, so..."

There was a pause that Patton quickly filled with laughter, even if it suddenly felt like he was struggling to carry the sound out of his chest and into the air.

Luckily, Logan walked into the room before Patton could say anything that was affected by the spontaneous pang in his chest. His eyes lit up upon seeing him. 

“Logan!” He cheerily dashed over to the other side of the room, holding up the tray to Logan’s face. “A treat for my smart cookie?”

Logan reeled back slightly to avoid getting hit by the edge of the tray. He pushed up his glasses.

“Ah, thank you, dear. But I do believe it is too early for copious amount of sugar consumption–”

“Just try one, cookie-tita,” Roman cut him off, “you and I know that you want one.”

Logan frowned at him over Patton’s shoulder, then looked back at Patton. He gave Logan the widest smile he could muster, which made him sigh. 

“While Roman’s reference was a bit of a stretch–” He eyed the cookies one more time, then looked back at Patton– ”I suppose I will agree to half a cookie.”

“Goody!” Patton said brightly. “Or should I say, gooey?”

“You shouldn’t.”

Logan picked one cookie up and took a small bite. His eyes softened, which made Patton’s heart melt. 

“...Oh sweet Einstein,” he muttered, grabbing one more cookie off the tray before making a beeline to the coffee machine in the kitchen. Patton just smiled to himself, admittedly a bit proud. 

Before he turned around to go see if Logan needed help, he heard shuffling coming up beside him. He looked over and smiled. 

“Virge! You’re awake!” Virgil pulled one side of his headphones up as Patton presented him the tray. “Cookie?”

“Uh, sure.” He took one and nodded when he had a few bites, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks, Pat.”

“No problemo!” he chirped, wandering back to the living room. Virgil trailed behind him, now slipping his headphones around his neck. 

“Did you bake these this morning?” Virgil asked as Patton set the tray on the coffee table in front of Roman, who readily lunged at it. Patton turned and smiled brightly at him. 

“Yeah! I mean...it was technically morning, heh.” 

Virgil blinked in that knowing way Patton was all too familiar with. Patton mentally cursed.  

“What do you mean by technically–”

Before he could say anything else, Patton clapped his hands together. 

“Well, I’m glad you all liked the cookies.” He tried not to think about how loud his own voice suddenly was. “Feel free to finish them!”

Roman frowned, mid-bite of his third cookie.

“Don’t you want any, sweetheart?"

“No no! I chip-ed in so much effort in baking them that I tired myself out, heh!” He faked a yawn. “I’ll just go to my room!”

Roman just laughed, stuffing another cookie in his mouth with a shrug. Logan wandered back from the kitchen, conjuring a book as he walked and nodding at Patton. He grabbed another cookie and sat on the couch beside Roman, leaning against his shoulder.

Virgil just looked at him as he left, eyes narrowed and steely. 

They’re so perfect, Patton thought as he sunk out to go to his room, leaving the three of his boyfriends alone with a wave. Perfect just the way they are.

 Without me.  

----------------------------- 

~ ‘i got ya’ focaccia ~ 

ingredients:

for the garlic-infused mixture

1/2 cup extra-virgin, PG-rated olive oil

2-3 minced garlic cloves

0 garlic gloves (haha i’m hilarious)

1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried

1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary or 1 teaspoon dried

1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

for the bread

1 cup warm water

2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast (1 packet)

1/4 teaspoon honey honey, you are my candy girl–

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt (maybe it’s wearing some nice clothes!) (sea what i did there? i’m funny, aren’t i?) 

–– 

Virgil heard a soft ‘ shit ’ coming from the kitchen. 

Don’t panic, it’s probably all fine,  he thought, slowly walking towards the entrance to the kitchen.  It’s totally not some burglar, ready to steal all our spices and blow them into my eye, making me blind. It can’t be, we’re not even real so how could there be a burglar–

As he neared the dimmed light coming from the kitchen, however, a quiet sob broke through his thoughts.

A chill ran through him. The sob was muffled, squeaky, and admittedly a bit pathetic in terms of how there was an attempt to cover it up. Almost like the sound a puppy would make when someone accidentally stepped on their paw.

All too familiar.

“Patton?” he murmured, turning on another light in the kitchen. 

Patton was hunched over the counter space beside the oven, next to a saucepan on a burner; which was emitting a strong garlic and herb smell. 

That wasn’t what Virgil was focusing on, though; but rather the way Patton held his hand close to his chest.

Patton spun around on his heel when his name left Virgil’s tongue, his eyes wide and glazed over, like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Sh– Virgil! Hi!” He laughed nervously. “What are you doing here? It’s like, 2 am!”

Virgil dug his hands in his sweater pockets. “I’m always up at 2 am. What are you doing here?”

He watched as Patton’s smile forcefully tugged at the corners of his lips.

“I’m baking focaccia! Wanna join?”

There was a slight crack in his cheeriness. Virgil took a step closer. 

“What happened to your hand?”

Patton looked down at it, then held up his index finger, which was slightly red. 

“Just accidentally brushed up against the pan!” he chuckled. “It was still hot. ”

“How could you brush up against the pan,” Virgil deadpanned, hopping onto the kitchen island. “Roman’s asleep.” 

Patton blushed as he ran his finger under cold water.

“Grab the flour and pour a cup of it in that bowl,” he said, shaking his hand dry and going back to the stove. “I think that the yeast and honey had enough time in the water. I’m just about done with the garlic stuff.”

“Okay, honey,” Virgil hummed, already scooping the flour in the measuring cup.

Patton turned to face him over his shoulder with a smile.  

“Gosh, you get funnier at 2 am, kiddo.”

Virgil shrugged. “It’s easy to cater to your humour, babe. Though no one does it as good as you do.” 

Patton’s blush intensified, and it made Virgil feel a little more at ease that he could still make him flustered like that. 

“So really, Pat,” Virgil asked, stirring in the flour as Patton went over with a smaller cup of the garlic-infused mixture. “Why are you up so late baking focaccia of all things?”

A pause. Patton finished pouring in his cup before turning his back away, his head low. 

“No reason!” he said brightly, though Virgil suddenly felt edges of darkness to each word. “I thought it’d be nice. Plus Roman loves my focaccia. Thought I could surprise him!”

A pause. Virgil wanted to press him more, but there was something about Patton’s cracked smile that advised him against it. He knew a warning when he saw one. 

“He likes anything you bake him, babe,” he said instead, adding salt and the rest of the flour before beginning to knead the dough in the bowl. “You could bake him a frog and he’d be grateful.”

“Now Virge, I think you’re mixing the twins up again,” Patton giggled. Virgil smirked, even if he felt like he shouldn’t. There was such heavy air in the kitchen; a positive emotion wouldn’t last a second. 

“You sure you’re okay, Patton?” 

When Patton finally faced him, it felt like the air was sucked out of him. Now that he was standing under the light, he felt like he saw all of him more clearly. There were dried tear tracks running down his cheeks. Did he always have those? And under his eyes were bags of purple, dark and stormy; clear evidence that maybe Patton had been late-night baking before. 

However, that broken smile was what haunted Virgil the most.

“I’m just peachy, Virge!” he chirped, conjuring up a towel and covering the bowl of dough Virgil probably over-kneaded. Patton’s eyes seemed to drill right into his own. “ Positive.”

Virgil numbly nodded as Patton clapped his hands. 

“Well! Now we wait!” He smiled again at Virgil. “Want some coffee?”

 ----------------------------- 

~ mushy gushy marshmallows ~

ingredients:

marshmallow base

2 cups of sugar 

1/4 cup corn syrup

1 cup water (1/2 for for dissolving gelatin)

7 tsp / 3 packets of gelatin

1/4 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract

 dusting powder

1 cup confectioner’s sugar

1/2 cup cornstarch

*note to future patton: don’t make these, actually. they suck.

–– 

“Fuck!” 

Logan heard the curse from the kitchen, lifting his head from his book and immediately smelling for any smoke. 

“Patton?” 

There was no smoke. Instead, just another string of curses. Logan sighed; it was not like the moral side to swear. But reprimanding him didn’t sound like a wise idea. 

Instead, he set his book down on the coffee table in front of him and wandered to the kitchen. 

“Is everything oka–”

He stopped mid-sentence and looked at the sight in front of him. 

Surrounding him was a sugary mess, with many bowls of gelatin and water littering the entire counter. Logan could only assume they were failed attempts at whatever was being made today.

In the middle of this mess was Patton, holding the hand mixer up in the air with tears streaming down his face. 

“...Let’s put the hand mixer down, shall we?”

Logan moved forward before Patton could even respond, slowly lowering his hand that held the mixer. Patton just sobbed, dropping it on the floor in defeat. Logan tried not to panic at the suddenly broken hand mixer. Logically, they could summon a new one. It was extra energy, sure, but it was fixable.

However, he wasn’t quite sure he could fix the sight in front of him.

“Is there something wrong, starlight?” he murmured, ushering Patton toward the kitchen table. Patton just sighed. 

“It’s the stupid marshmallows.” Patton threw his apron onto the floor as he sat down. “I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong. I tried everything.  And they– they just suck.” 

Logan blinked, almost dumbfounded. In all the years he spent together with Patton, he had never seen him so distraught. Not even his arguably-worse decisions elicited a response similar to the frustration he was currently witnessing. Patton always wore a smile and carried on. Any mistake was just a mistake; nothing more to it. 

So what was different here?

“I even tried summoning a candy thermometer,” Patton continued. Logan tried his best to be present, even if his worry was slowly overtaking all of his senses. “Those things are stupid! I thought–”

“Hey,” Logan finally said, cutting Patton off by holding his hands into his. “Let’s slow down for a minute, okay?” 

When Patton looked up at him, his heart broke. 

Patton’s eyes were glassy with tears, some kind of foreign look not too far behind his irises. The absence of his smile was even more unsettling. 

He looked completely different; as if someone took one of the loves of his life and replaced him without even leaving a trace. 

Suddenly, he was filled with what he only assumed was longing. 

“Patton,” he said slowly, looking down at their intertwined hands, “please don’t worry about the marshmallows. They’re just marshmallows. Clearly there is something else that is–”

He cut himself off as he heard Patton’s breath hitch. When he looked up, there was a faraway look in his eyes.

And that was when it clicked. That foreign look…

It was fear. Fear and guilt, all wrapped up in one. 

The face of someone who just got caught.

Patton quickly pulled his hands away from Logan’s, stumbling onto his feet and muttering something about cleaning up later under his breath as he sunk out. 

Logan blinked, taken completely aback. He quickly re-evaluated every word he said that could have led to him leaving. 

“They’re just marshmallows.” 

Logan winced. Shit. Perhaps Patton was still in his ‘in his feelings phase; not his ‘in need of rational solution’ phase. He should have known better and now, Patton was further away from him than he was before. 

Logan then thought about the guilt that struck Patton’s face before he could confront him; the fear in his eyes when Logan dared to dig a little deeper. 

Patton wasn’t far away, actually.

Patton was just gone;   and Logan didn’t know where to look to find him.

----------------------------- 

~drunken    bitter    butter rumcakes~

 ingrdents:

for the cupcakes:

1 cup of choped picans

1/2 cup coconut flake

yellow cake mix, lots of it probs

some vanilla puddin apparently? i dont know why

eggs i dont care how much fuck it

1/2 milk

vegetable oil (optional cuz it sounds gros)

rum

for the bitter rum glaze:

some butter and sugar

more rum

rum 

 for the frosting

confictione confecion confectioniser’s powdered sugar

soft buttter

vanilla extract

rest of the bottl eof rum probably

 ––

It only took a crash from the kitchen for Roman to realize that Logan and Virgil were right: something was wrong with Patton. 

Virgil had been the first one to express his concern, and it was right on the day Patton baked them all cookies. Patton had since baked many more cookies; which for some reason, only intensified his worry. Roman didn’t think much of it at first. Virgil, bless his soul, always held a bit of his paranoia close to his chest. Plus, Patton’s cookies were the best! There wasn’t much to complain about. A few days later, Virgil mentioned something weird about Patton’s focaccia; but even that admittedly didn’t raise any concern from Roman. 

It was when Logan mentioned the marshmallow incident that Roman knew something might be off. 

The two had warned him that going to the kitchen late at night could possibly bring some less than ideal sights, but that only drew Roman closer; like a beautiful moth attracted to light. If Patton was truly upset, Roman had to be there! He knew that the others didn’t know much about navigating the small crises Patton would have every now and then, but Roman did! It was Patton, after all! Roman had experience — and he just had to play it by the book. 

But when he finally walked into the kitchen upon hearing the source of the crash, he was greeted with something he never quite saw before. 

Patton was on the ground, holding a long, glass bottle by its neck and a bowl—with all its contents—was splattered on the floor beside him. 

Roman stood there, almost dumbfounded. Patton didn’t even realize he was there before he looked up and blinked a few times. 

Then, Patton started to cry. 

“Oh, sunshine,” Roman murmured, sitting next to him on the floor. The strong stench of alcohol filled the air beside Patton, and Roman saw a glimpse of a rum label on the bottle. It was half empty. 

“M’sorry,” Patton mumbled under his breath, immediately resting his head on Roman. “Didn’t–” He hiccuped– ”Didn’t mean to make noise.”

“Shh, mi amor, it’s okay.” Roman stroked his hair slowly, going through the familiar motions of comforting his boyfriend. “I understand. Let me help you, okay?”

Another sob wracked through Patton’s body. 

“I– I don’t deserve your help.” The words came out in a slur. Roman had a slight feeling that Patton didn’t use all the rum in his bottle for baking.

“Nonsense! Of course you deserve help,” Roman whispered, twirling a strand of his hair. “I’m here to help you. I always am.”

Patton leaned into the touch, though the weight of his head seemed heavier than usual; like he was unintentionally pressing himself onto Roman, limp against his shoulders.

“S’fine,” he said after a few more teary hiccups, trying to push himself onto his feet. “Gotta– gotta finish cupcakes. Tryna new recipe.” 

Roman frowned. “The cupcakes can wait until tomorrow, Patton; I’m going to bring you to bed and clean up–”

“No!” 

Roman jumped at the sheer volume of Patton’s voice, suddenly nervous that he’d wake the rest of them up.

I can handle this myself,  he thought.  I always have been able to, this isn’t different. 

“No, I don’t– I don’t need your help.” Patton stumbled up to his feet, leaning his arms on the kitchen counter like it was a life raft. He buried his head in his hands.  “I don’t need your help, I don’t need anyone’s help, I just need– I just need to finish this, then–”

“Darling, I don’t think–”

“No thinkin!” He pushed his index finger onto Roman’s lips. “No thinking, that’s for Logan. Tonight, we’re not thinking of anything– not thinking about anything anymore.”

Roman was taken aback. 

“Patton, we can continue,” he said gently, “but only if you sit down first and let me grab you some water, okay?”

Patton lifted his head to face Roman, his eyes red from the tears. 

“Why do you take care of me?” he suddenly asked, his voice a small whimper. Roman froze as he continued. “Why do– why do any of you care?”

“Patton, I–”

“I don’t do my fucking job right anyway,” Patton hissed. “I’m– I’m broken junk in Thomas’ brain! I can’t even do the right and wrong thing, I can’t– I can’t make him happy. I can’t make you guys happy– ‘n I  love you guys! God, I can’t even make stupid cupcakes–”

“None of that is true, Pat,” Roman tried to protest. “You make us extremely happy, you make me– ”

“You’re a liar!” Patton cried, turning on his heel to stare at Roman, whose heart dropped. “You’re– you’re a fucking liar, Roman.”

The air suddenly felt too thick for both of them to be breathing. Patton must have noticed that because as soon as the words left his tongue, he covered his mouth with his hands with teary eyes. 

“...Patton, please sit down. You’re not thinking straight.”

“M’not–”

“I know.” Roman tried to keep his voice levelled as he spoke. “Just...just sit down, okay? We’re going to talk it all through.” 

Patton just stared at him blankly for what seemed like an eternity before finally speaking up. 

“I’m sorry.”

And before Roman could plead for him one last time, Patton sunk out, the bottle of rum still in his hand.

Roman blinked at the spot Patton once stood in, all shaky and teary like he was facing an inky, twisted nightmare. His words echoed in his head and while Roman knew it was best not to take it all to heart, he still felt the sting of each curse. 

What kind of a hero was he?

He then looked at the splattered mixture on the floor and sighed. It looked a lot like cake mix. And if there was rum in that, it probably would’ve been good. A shame, really.

His eyes then spotted a book on the kitchen counter, open to a page that had a bit of rum on it judging by the smell. Roman frowned, going over to grab it. He closed it to look at the cover. 

It seemed to be Patton’s recipe book, judging by the baking-themed stickers littering the blue cover. When he opened it, he was greeted with pages of ingredients and instructions to make some of Patton’s signature baked goods. The first few pages made Roman smile; there were puns besides some of the ingredients and even cheesy references to him, Logan, and Virgil. It seemed very Patton-esque. 

But as he went further through the pages, the tone seemed to shift. There was an absence of puns for one of the recipes, and Roman knew he could’ve at least hit a few. And when he got further than that, he just stopped writing measurements all together. The rum cupcake recipe, which seemed like a recent entry, was barely decipherable. 

He flipped back a few pages and saw words scratched out; sentences that didn’t belong in a typical cookie recipe. And the corners of some of the pages were crisp, as if water dried on them over time. 

Roman’s breath hitched as he closed the book. Something was wrong, and for the first time he didn’t know what to do.

----------------------------- 

~ whats good-berry muffins ~ 

ingredients

who

cares

theyre

just

stupid

muffins

berries, probably

––  

“Roman, he did not mean what he said,” Logan said as Roman paced in front of him. “Perhaps you caught him at a bad time.” 

“A bad time?” Virgil echoed incredulously, turning around on the couch to face Logan. “Dude, he was wasted. That’s not a bad time, that’s a ‘code red’ time.” 

“Besides, shouldn’t you be advocating for intervention,  lo -ve of my life?” Roman asked, still pacing. “You seemed pretty upset about the now-called ‘marshmallow incident’.”

Virgil gave Logan a look and Logan looked down, almost embarrassed. 

“...I have since realized that my actions were not ideal, but that is to no fault of my own. Holding guilt does no good, and neither does intervening when one does not want to be...intervened upon.”

“Okay first off, even Janus lies more subtly than that.” Logan didn’t make eye contact with him, but stiffened at Virgil’s words. “And second of all, Patton  needs support. We’re supposed to be there for him – not just waiting for the most dire sign. The plane is crashing, Logan; you can’t just put your seatbelt on and wait. You have to do something.” 

“Actually, if an airplane is crashing and you are instructed to put your seatbelts on, it is of your best interest that you–”

“For Odin’s sake,” Roman groaned. “I love you, my nerd in shining armour; but you got to learn what a metaphor is.”

Logan fell quiet as Roman continued. 

“We need to do something. This isn't a typical Patton dilemma. And I know he doesn’t want to talk about it just out of the blue so we can’t confront him. We have to figure out a way for him to trust us.”

“He loves us,” Virgil grumbled, though hints of anxiety singed the edges of his words. “Shouldn’t the trust be there already?”

“Virgil, he loves us an infinite amount,” Logan said reassuringly, finally settling back into the chair. He pushed up his glasses. “In fact, he probably loves us too much to want to worry us or cause us any emotional strain.”

“But it wouldn’t cause us– well, whatever you said!” Virgil protested. He slumped over, his elbows pressed into his thighs. He looked defeated. “I just want to help him. I can’t stand seeing him like this.” 

“I know, stormcloud,” Roman murmured, sitting down beside us. “But...but we can do this. Together. We always have and now, we will.”

Logan nodded, tapping his shoulder so Virgil could rest against it. 

“Roman is correct. Besides, we do not even have to confront him. Perhaps confrontation is where part of this issue stems from. The trust is there, we just have to remind him that we are willing to, given that we are his partners. We just need to make a comfortable environment for–”

Suddenly, Virgil felt a small tug in his chest; as if something was pulling him downwards. His eyes widened and his breath hitched at the sensation. He knew where it was coming from. 

“Guys, it’s Patton. Something’s wrong.” 

In a flash, he sunk out, Logan and Roman soon following suit. Roman pulled out his sword just in case.

When they rose, they found themselves in Patton’s room; though it was less bright than usual. The fairy lights were flickering and swaying against the walls and the frames were all askew. It looked as if it was struggling to keep itself together. 

And in the middle of the room was Patton, on the floor and tugging at his hair as he cried, heaving into each sob. Surrounding him were boxes of half-summoned muffin mix, as well as some sugar slowly fading out of existence. In front of him was his recipe book, tearstained and ripped at the edges. 

Virgil immediately went to Patton’s side, scooping him up into his arms. Patton made no effort to protest, his body still clenched up from all the energy he was spending summoning the ingredients into his room. In the corner of his eye, he could even see the beginnings of what would be an oven.

“Patton,” Virgil heard Logan breathe out, still standing in the same spot behind them, almost in shock. “You are spending too much energy summoning all these things, your room nor your form cannot handle it. Why don’t you just go to the kitchen?”

Patton sobbed even more, tugging at his hair and curling up into Virgil’s chest. Virgil looked up at Logan over Patton’s hunched shoulders and just shook his head, his eyes flickering between him and Patton. 

Logan then made a small ‘o’ shape with his mouth, slowly approaching the two on the floor and sitting cross-legged beside him. He made an attempt to lower Patton’s hands from his hair. Eventually, it turned into him rubbing small circles in Patton’s back with the palm of his hand, softly whispering “it’s okay” under his breath as he moved closer to him and Virgil. 

Roman dropped his sword onto the floor and followed suit, grabbing a fluffy blanket from Patton’s bed and going behind his three boyfriends, laying the blanket over their shoulders as if he was shielding them from the unstable room surrounding them. He hovered over their shoulders for a while before kneeling down and hugging all three of them. 

And as the ingredients slowly disappeared around them, the room began to fix itself. Patton could breathe a bit slower now, yet the others curled up into him like the warm blanket they were surrounded by. 

Eventually, Patton realized that he was no longer crying;  yet everyone stayed. 

And then, Patton fell asleep;  and they stayed for that too. 

----------------------------- 

~ Don’t Forget-ti That We Love You Funfetti Cake* ~

 Ingredients:

 For the cake

1 and 2/3 cup (210g) all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda (because so-da one for us!) [1]

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (1 stick or 115 g) unsalted butter, melted

3/4 cup (150g) granulated sugar

1/4 cup (50g) packed light brown sugar

1 large egg

1/4 cup (60g) yogurt

3/4 cup (180ml) milk

1 Tablespoon (15ml) pure vanilla extract

2/3 cup (90g) sprinkles (nonpareils not recommended**) 

For the buttercream

1 cup (2 sticks or 230g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

3–4 cups (360-480g) confectioners’ sugar

1/4 cup (60ml) heavy cream

2 and 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

salt, to taste

 *Virgil actually came up with this and thinks its so lame so thats why that’s the name LOL ~ Roman

[1]  Roman wrote this pun but I am making the executive decision to retract this comment from the original script because it is not a necessary part of the recipe.

**can you tell that lo was the one who wrote the recipe ~ v 

–– 

Patton tried his hardest to fight the pull coming from the kitchen. 

It’s been a few days since the others found him in his room after his failed ‘bake muffins in isolation’ mission and Patton hadn’t dared to bake since. After all, if that incident wasn’t a good enough warning, the other times they found him in the kitchen were. He couldn’t let them see him like this again, what ‘this’ was. 

The others thought they knew he was upset about something, but Patton didn’t know how to tell them that he didn't even know what he was feeling. He wasn’t upset, he wasn’t stressed; he was just feeling every feeling, all at once.

And he didn’t know what to do. 

Baking was the only thing he could do when he felt like this. He longed to see a smile on Virgil’s face; to watch Logan actually eat and enjoy it rather than talking about how it didn’t matter that they ate; to laugh as Roman scarfed all of it down and ask for the recipe. The recipe book was actually going to be Roman’s gift for their anniversary. It made his heart ache even more knowing that it wasn’t good enough for him anymore. 

When he felt everything or nothing at all, he would just bake and watch as the people he loved were filled with joy; and Patton, selfish as it is, would bask in the sunlight they radiated. If he kept baking and kept making them happy? Well, their light could never disappear. 

But then, it did.

And Patton couldn’t bear to stand in the darkness of that kitchen anymore. 

Still, the tugging persisted. Patton secretly hoped that him pitying himself would guilt whatever force was summoning him to the kitchen into giving up its pursuit. 

Patton sighed, tugging the strings of his cat hoodie a little tighter so that the hood with wrap around his head. Maybe if he didn’t show his face, no one would see that he had been crying for an hour or so. 

When he sunk out, he was met with a warmly-lit kitchen and a small cake in the middle of the dining table.

Patton frowned, walking towards it curiously. It was a very...rustic cake, if rustic still meant ‘messy’ in baking terms. The icing was a bit rough around the edges and he felt like the writing in icing was supposed to say “WE �� U” but the heart looked a bit like...well, Patton didn’t want to say. 

Still, it was rather cute. There was a small plate beside it with a fork and a slice of the cake, dots of sprinkles baked into it. Patton smiled; it seemed to be a funfetti cake! His favourite!

Patton took a bite out of the cake without really thinking about it, his smile only growing at the sweet taste. 

That was when he saw the book. 

It laid neatly beside the plate, open to a page he didn’t quite remember writing. On it were various scribbles of bright red ink mixed with blue ink, along with a note written in pencil at the bottom of the page. He recognized the handwriting immediately as he picked up the book and began to tear up. 

“Virgil, if he does not want to be summoned you cannot–”

Patton looked up from the book and saw Logan and Virgil suddenly at the entrance to the kitchen, stopped in their tracks with their eyes wide. They stared at each other for a brief moment before Virgil huffed, breaking the silence.

“See, Lo?” He kissed Logan's cheek and went on his tip-toes to ruffle his hair, much to Logan’s dismay. “Patton always comes down for cake.” 

Patton dropped the book on the table and went over to sweep the two in a big hug, warm and tight and filled with love. Virgil fell quiet, but hugged back as Logan chuckled, patting Patton’s back. 

“I sincerely hope the cake is to your standards, Patton,” he said as he pulled back. “I know that the aesthetics are not...well, they are not ideal; Roman spent so much time planning that he forgot to take into account the amount of time we’d  actually have–”

“Logan?” Patton said, his voice still scratchy from being close to tears. “I love you. It’s perfect.” 

Logan smiled brightly, the light from it almost blinding Patton. 

“You guys didn’t have to bake for me!” Patton rubbed at his eyes with a small laugh. “I know baking a cake is no easy task, especially a funfetti cake!”

Virgil shrugged. “Logan led most of it. I kinda just made sure the kitchen didn’t explode. You know how those two can get."

Patton giggled. “Of course.”

“Roman should be on his way shortly,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses. “He is acquiring a few blankets and pillows from his room.”

Patton perked up at the thought. Roman’s blankets were made of the softest, most delicate velvet. The idea made his chest warm up.

“You guys did all of this for me?” Patton asked, his voice small. 

“Of course we did, Pat.” Virgil held Patton’s hand and kissed it softly. “We love you. And we want to be here for you; even in the less-than-ideal times. You would do the same for us.”

“But we do not expect you to dwell on your emotions if you do not feel comfortable doing so,” Logan continued as he went over to the dining room to grab the cake. “If you would like, we can watch Disney movies and eat cake and provide a distraction. However, we want to reassure you that we are here to listen to whatever is troubling you, so whenever you feel comfortable, please do not hesitate to reach out.” He paused. "We do not have to find a solution right now. We can metaphorically 'sit in the feelings' for a while."

Patton smiled as Logan arrived at his and Virgil’s side. He kissed Patton’s shoulder softly before making his way to the living room, where Patton could hear Roman rambling about what movie would be the best to watch; and he heard Logan’s rebuttals come after. 

And walking out of the kitchen and into the living room could only be described as a slow-moving blur. Patton watched as Roman spotted him and swept him up into a big hug, startling Virgil who was later brought into the hug as well. He watched as Logan gave them an amused smile, patting the blankets Roman arranged under a pillow fort in front of the TV, the opening to Tangled—Patton’s favourite—playing on the screen. 

“I love you guys,” Patton murmured as he sat in the middle of the pillow fort, a plate with cake in front of him. Logan sat beside him with a nod, kissing his head as he summoned four forks with a smile. Roman and Virgil found their way somehow into the tangled mess of each other, cuddling against Logan and Patton until they were the closest humans, or sides, could ever get.

And no one complained when Patton paused the movie when Eugene got stabbed, crying a bit and telling them about how that scene sort of reminded him about what he felt the night before. No one left when Patton began to spiral a bit from that and sob into his cake, finally admitting to them his thoughts and how he had just been feeling everything. 

And then, everyone stayed; even after that. 

[lionaut-blog]

[freakyninjaboy]

Fiction Coffee

First Excerpt:

I sit before the counter, a coffee cup on the said counter. Obviously filled with coffee, I'm generally a hot drink drinker. As I sit, gently have my hands around the cup. Nursing its warmth.

   My eyes look around the room. Rolling over the shelves of books, all of which I've read countless times. Over the stools and chairs arranged around tables all over. The posters hanging the walls, each showing a different creature. A griffin. A dragon. A Unicorn. Some mermaids. The heroes. I tick each one off in my head. I glance at the counter before me. The marble's swirling design, grays, whites, and blacks dancing with each other. The cash register all ready for the day ahead. Everything in place. Where it should be.

   I finally stare out the big front window, watching as a few people pass. It's not quite time for the morning rush. Light is slowly getting brighter by each passing minute. I wait patiently. The sign on the glass door says 'Closed' until I flip it over. The painted decal on the front is backward, made for the people passing by. But I know the words by heart.

   "Saoinn's Fantasy Coffee Shop"

   I watch as a certain figure pass in front. They are running past. I sigh and take one last sip of my coffee. They must have realized they passed the place they were going and I saw them run to the front of my door. I shake my head and walk to the front, reluctant to leave my coffee. I open the door for them and flip over the 'Closed' sign so now it says 'Open'.

   Here comes the chaos.

Second Excerpt:

I sit in the store. It’s a slow day and it’s a slow hour. An elderly couple sits at one of the tables, chatting softly.

I drink in the scene around me. It felt strangely still. My employee working in the back, Felicia Nadiya, stocking up things. For a fairy she is quite strong. I faintly hear her singing along to her music. I shake my head and look out the front window.

There’s a hot person.

Standing outside my door.

Reading my sign.

Now I’m alert.

My heart skips a beat. They look perfect. They might be the mate I’ve been looking for, since leaving the sea.

They enter my coffee shop. I plaster on my best smile, which instead feeling fake, it felt genuine. I say in the calmest voice I could muster, “Hello! Welcome to  ‘Saoinn’s Fantasy Coffee Shop’ I’m Saoinn and I’m here to assist you in any way I can.”

“Yeah!” Their voice sounds like a nice medium between deep and high pitch, I suppress a shiver. “I heard I could check out books here. The library doesn’t have the books I’m looking for, so I wonder if you might do.”

My heart does a flip, “I can look for you! I have a wide selection of different fantasy books, obviously, and science fiction. What are you looking for?” I move out from behind the counter.

I put my arm around his shoulders and led them to the shelves. I mentally slapped myself, why did I do that?

A blush rose to their cheeks, “I uhh, was looking for books about Selkies.”

My mind now races, one prominent question in my head. ‘Do they know I am one?’

I clear my throat and remove my arm from their shoulders, “Yeah! We have quite a few in here, are you looking for historical mythology or a generalized story?” I start looking for the titles.

“I’m looking for a good story. I wanna see human’s interpretations of them.” They shrugs and then their eyes went wide.

I tighten my jaw. This person must be a mythical creature as well. Only mythics call people ‘humans.’ But a faint smile play at my lips. They are so perfect.

“I have a few!” I pull them from the shelves and carried them to the counter.

They visibly relax and walk over to the counter with me, “Awesome! May I borrow them?”

I nod, “Yeah! I just need you to fill something out.” I lean over the counter and stretched to get my clipboard of ‘check outs’. Unfortunately for me it’s a little far beneath the counter hanging, but I managed to grab it.

I straighten back up and see the person’s face a few shades of red. At first I was confused then I realized I wore tight pants today. I just gave them a show of my ass. Now I’m red too.

They cough, “What do I need to fill out?”

“Oh! Yeah! Just write your name and phone number and the books you are borrowing. Also I need the date.” I point to each section where they need to write.

They nod and took the clipboard from my hands and the pen I offered. Then they sat down at a nearby table and started filling out the spaces.

In effort to fill the silence, I blurted out, “What are your pronouns?”

They looked up at me with surprise. Another mental slap to myself. They smile, “He/him, you?”

“They/them please.” I smile slightly relieved at the sight of his smile. Man, that was an incredibly smile. It makes my heart melt just a little.

“You are a cute person.” He says. Is he flirting? I’m not good with this.

“You’re handsome yourself.” Was that good? I can’t tell, I need my Wing-woman.

“Thank you.” He says.

I smile at that and say, with finger guns, “No problemo.”

He laughs. Oh sea’s palace, that laugh is melodic. I’ll listen to it all day if I could.

“You seem to be quite the interesting being.” He gives another smile. One that melts my heart, again.

“If you ever want to hang out here, you are welcomed.” I blurt out. Another burst of words? What is wrong with me?

“I would love to. Unfortunately I have to go, thanks Saoinn. You’re the best.” He winks and picks up the books, leaving the clipboard on the counter. And walks out.

“See ya!” I say after him.

He nods his head, “See you soon.”

I pick up the clipboard. I see his handwriting, it’s so pretty. Every words seems to flow into each other, each letter distinct.

I see his name.

‘Quasn’

Third Excerpt:

Everyday, my mind wanders. It could be to my past life. Or it could be to the strange future. Well, since meeting Quasn, he is all I can think of.

I just imagine him hugging me. Speaking kind words in that wonderful medium voice. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I’ve never thought these things before about anyone.

My mind also wanders to our only interaction. Analyzing every detail. Reliving it.

“Hey! Saoinn! Are you there?” Felicia waves her hand in front of my face. Snapping me out of my musings.

“Sorry Felicia. I was just...  thinking.” I stare out the front window. I place my head on the counter, still staring.

“Lemme guess. It’s about Quasn.” She draws out his name in a teasing tone.

“Shut up!” I sit straight up, “I was thinking of stuff.”

“And it was about Quasn, I know you too well Saoinn.” She’s right. That’s why Felicia's my best friend.

“I give up. Felicia, he just seems like ‘the one’ you know?” I say laying my head back on the counter, this time looking at Felicia.

“Remember what happened last time you said that?” She gives me the ‘look’. The look is just this certain face she makes when she expects me to say one certain thing.

I sigh, “I know, she turned out to be extremely homophobic.” I shiver, “She even called me one gender saying I had to be it. But he’s definitely different! I just have this feeling.”

“Saoinn, I just don’t want to see you hurt again. Please be careful.” Felicia smiles softly, and pats my head.

I nodded, “Can you make me some of your specialty coffee?”

She laughs, “Of course.”

She goes to the coffee machines to make the coffee. I’m still sitting on the stool and my head is still on the counter. I stare at the empty space where Felicia was. There’s a poster on the wall, it’s the one of the dragon.

The dragon is flying above water, a boat just below it. On the boat is some pirates, and some human selkies. How I can tell, I don’t know, I just can. The dragon is purple and black scaled one. Marking the dragon as a shadow dragon. It’s my favorite poster. I got it from a Ren-Fair.

The front door opens, and I sit up and start my mantra, “Hi, welcome to ‘Saionn’s Fantasy Coffee Shop’ I’m Saoinn, and I’m her-“

It’s Quasn. He’s carrying my books into the shop.

“Oh! Hey Quasn!” I smile wide.

“Hey, Saoinn! I’m returning the books I borrowed!” I suppress a shiver, and he walks up to the counter placing the books on there.

“Thanks! I’ll take care of them for you. What did you think of them?” I pick them off the counter and walk to the shelves. Placing them in their respectful places.

“I loved them all! I especially liked the one about the Selkie that risked his life for that dragon. It was so wonderful and daring! I was hanging on every word!” He said with such enthusiasm, I would be willing to hear anything he says.

“HEY SAOINN! YOUR COFFEE IS DONE! So stop flirting with them and introduce me!” Felicia shouts from behind the counter.

My face turns bright red, “You don’t have to be so rude about it! I’m sorry Quasn. She’s a handful sometimes.”

Quasn laughs. That melodic laugh. “It’s quite alright.”

I walk over to the counter with Quasn and Felicia hands me my coffee. “Now Saoinn, who’s your buddy here?” She gives me a knowing look.

“This is Quasn. Quasn this is Felicia.” I say while still blushing lightly. I take a sip of my coffee to help calm my nerves, because they are shot right now.

“Nice to meet you, Felicia.” He sticks out his hand and gives her a smile.

Felicia shakes his hand, “As it is to you, Quasn. I’ve heard a lot about you. Saoinn just loves to-“

I cover her mouth, “Nope we’re not doing that. If you couldn’t tell Quasn, Felicia is my Best Friend.”

He laughs at our interaction. “Well it definitely looks like it. I hope it’s all good things Saoinn talks about.”

I blush harder and Felicia nods. She removes my hand from her mouth, “Would you like any coffee? This one is on the house. I can make you some of my specialty.”

“Yes I would love to, if It’s alright if Saoinn can join me.” He winks. Felicia nods, it’s as if they are speaking in a code I can’t understand. Plus I’m blushing even harder.

“You betcha! Saoinn, take a break. You need it.” She says and turns around to make the coffee.

Quasn wraps his arms around my shoulder and leds me to table. I blush even harder and I stammer out, “You- um you didn’t have to, uh say that. The thing. I, dammit, sorry.”

He gives me a heart warming smile and rubs my shoulder, “It’s alright. You look so adorable doing that anyways. Take your time.”

My heart leaps. No one ever said that to me before. “I, thank you. No one’s ever told me that before. It’s just. I uh... Words don’t ever want to -uh- work! For me.”

We reach a table and we both sit down. His eyes look so soft. They are the blue as the ocean. A pang of loneliness stabs my heart.

He reminds me of home.

“Well, Saoinn,” it sounds like he is purring my name, I suppress another shiver, “I would love to hear more about you.”

My eyes brighten, “What would you like to know?” I take a sip of the coffee.

We just started talking. I felt at ease with him. Anything can go. At one point Felicia gave Quasn his coffee, but we were deep in conversation. It was great. I learned so much about him. He had just move in town. His favorite animal is Dragons. He enjoys Ren-Fairs. (Score for me, and a date idea.) It was perfect. He’s perfect. We didn’t realize it but we talked for hours. I’m glad Felicia let us talk for that long.

But it felt too soon when he had to go.

“I’m sorry, but I have to get back home. My cats need me.” He says getting up. Our coffee cups are empty, we finished them without realizing it.

“Well, do you have any plans tomorrow?” I ask, holding some hope.

Quasn shakes his head, “Not at all do you?”

“Nope the shop is closed tomorrow, that’s why I’m asking.” I say with a playful laugh, “I was wondering if you would like to do something with me tomorrow.”

“I would love to.” That sentence right there made my heart skip a beat.

“Great! Meet you here? Out front? Around 2-ish?” I say.

“It’s a date.” He gives me hug.

Oh ocean above, that hug was better than anything I could ever imagine. It was over too soon.

“See you tomorrow, Saoinn!” He waves and walks out the door.

“See you then!” I call after him. I watch him go then do a little happy dance.

“Great job Saoinn! But you owe me for that.” Felicia walks next to me.

I hug her, “You are the best! I promise I’ll get you something at the next Ren-Fair.”

“Yeah yeah I know. Don’t worry I’ll help you get ready for your date.” She smiles.

“Thank you so much!!” I hug her tighter.

I got a date! With the most perfect boy ever! Tomorrow is going to be the best.

Fourth Excerpt:

Today’s the big day! I almost didn’t get any sleep last night. Just thinking Quasn and I. On a date. Together. I just get so giddy, and eventually Felicia called me and told me to go to bed. I woke up early getting a total of 4 hours of sleep. The shop’s close, thankfully.

I start getting ready, while doing the daily tasks to keep the coffee shop running. I skip breakfast, hurrying for I don’t know when Quasn will arrive. I sweep and mop the floors; wipe down the counters and tables. I decide to let things wait, the finances and stocking. Felicia can do the stocks while I’m gone.

Speaking of Felicia, she’s here! She enters the place and sees me. I’m in my pajamas still, hair a mess, and frantically cleaning.

“Saoinn! Stop, you leave this stuff to me. You need to focus on your date!” She shakes her head and takes the mop out of my hands. “Now go jump in the shower!”

I nod and bound up the stairs into my apartment flat above the shop. I hear Felicia muttering about how I’m slowly going mad. I smile a little at that.

After my shower, I walk into my bedroom to find Felicia sitting on my bed. I thanked whatever higher power that I had a towel on covering the essential bits. “What are you doing in here Felicia?” I ask calmly while walking to my closet.

“Obviously to help you pick out a bomb outfit! Honestly you don’t have a sense a fashion at all.” She smiles and I notice her wings are out.

“Wait, did you walk here without transforming?”

“Uhhh,” She looks off to the side sheepishly, “maybe…”

“FELICIA! You know why you can’t do that!” I feel my face go a little hot with anger.

“Well, no one was out!”

“It. Doesn’t. Matter.” I sigh and shake my head, “I can’t deal with this right now, I need to get ready.”

I hear her giggle and I roll my eyes. For the next hour she and I went through at least a dozen outfits. We finally settled on navy blue jeans, a black graphic tee with green dragon on it, a navy blue flannel wrapped around my waist, and a black jean jacket. The next hour was my atrocious hair. I eventually got some of the curls to calm down and get into actual decent looking hair.

Then we went downstairs into the coffee shop and as soon as I smelled a wonderful coffee scent, my stomach rumbled. Loud enough for Felicia to hear.

“Saoinn. Did you eat breakfast?” She gives me a glare.

I wither a little bit, “No…”

“How much sleep did you get?” Still glaring.

“Four hours…” I wither a little bit more.

She grabs my hand and drags me over to the counter. I sit down, knowing she would yell at me if I didn’t. Felicia silently made some coffee, my favorite, and grabbed some food for me. She placed them in front of me and commanded, “Eat.”

I nodded my head and ate the food. After I was done I felt slightly better. My nerves aren’t too active and my heart feels light.

Felicia enchanted the coffee.

“Felicia, did you use a spell?” I ask sweetly.

A panicked expression goes on her face, “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

I give her a hug, “Thank you. I don’t think my nerves would of made it through the day.”

She hugs back tightly, “Anything for you bestie. Now get out there and knock him dead!”

I smile and look out the front window. Quasn stands there, back to the window. He wears a leather jacket and black jeans. My heart flutters.

“Felicia, while I’m gone the stocking needs to be done. Wish me luck! Thank you so much for everything!” I give her one last squeeze and walk out the door.

“Hey, Saoinn!” He sees me walk out and smile at me. Suddenly he hesitates, or falters. The next sentence startled me.

“You look fantastic.”

I blush heavily and stutter out, “You- You look incredible and, and wonderful yourself!” I see the rest of his outfit and he’s wearing a navy blue graphic tee with a orange dragon on it, he is wearing a studded bracelet, and he’s wearing a grey lanyard around his neck with, I assume, his house key on it.

He smiles and gives me a hug, this one lasted longer than the one before, but nevertheless ended too soon.

“Ready, Saoinn?” He smiles so wonderfully at me.

“Ready as I’ll ever be Quasn.”

He takes my hand and we’re off. Both excited for the day ahead. Wait, I didn’t even plan the day. Does he have a plan? Well I’ll never know unless I asked.

“Hey, Quasn, do you know what we are doing today?” I ask kinda shyly.

“No idea, I was thinking of following your lead, Saoinn.” He chirps happily.

Well, crap.

I’m gonna improvise.

“Alright then, I know where we are going!” I think.

I started to lead him to the Arcade, I used to go there a lot to find dates. Nowadays I’m too busy with the coffee shop, so I haven’t been there in a while. The town is small, thankfully, and we got there quickly.

“Welcome to the Hydro Arcade! I used to go here a lot.” I flamboyantly point to the arcade, trying to make him smile.

He smiles, his heart warming one, and giggles, “Why stop?”

I shrug, “Too busy. Come on let’s play!”

I drag him into the arcade. I watch his eyes go wide of wonder and he seemed to want to look everywhere. I smile wide and pull him to the front counter. I get out my power card and bought him one. I made sure to fill both up with enough credits. I smiled and handed one to him.

“What’s this?” He looked super confused. Like he legitimately didn’t know what it is. Well… if he is a mythic, maybe a really doesn’t know.

“It’s a card, that I paid for, so we can play games.” I pull him over to a simple game to show him how. “To play, you just swipe the card and the number of credits stored on the card goes down a little and you can play.”

He nods along as I shown him. He must of truly not known. Interesting.

“So it’s that’s easy?” I nod. “How much to I need to pay you back?”

“Don’t worry about that.” I stick out my tongue and start playing the game so my credits aren’t wasted.

After a little bit of playing so many different games, and replenishing the credits, we come across one last game we haven’t played yet. I’ve been avoiding it.

“Hey Saoinn! We’ve haven’t played that one yet!” He points to Dance Dance Revolution.

I smile, “You want to play?”

“Of course!” He drags me over and swipes the card. He jumps on the platform, and asks, “How does this one work?”

“Well, you select a song and follow the dance steps on the screen.”

“Can you show me how?”

I sigh, welp, why not? I don’t have to anything to worry about. The arcade is a little empty. I nod and swipe my card and jumped on the platform with him.

After a moment I settle on a song and start showing him how to play. I’m horrible at it but he seems to get it. I start focusing to get the right moves.

Then I missed a step. By going too far and crashing into Quasn. We tumble into a heap of sweaty limbs and off the platform.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry! Are you ok, Quasn?” I scramble to get up.

He lays there on the ground laughing. That wonderful and melodic laugh. I start laughing too. I feel free, more happy than I’ve ever been in a long time. Once our laughter died down to light giggles, I asked again, “You ok?”

“Yeah,” He breathes out a small laugh, “Thank you, Saoinn.”

“For what?” I tilt my head to the side.

“For an amazing time.” He gets up and hugs me.

“Hold on it’s not over yet!” I didn’t want him to leave too soon, “We, still have go to one more thing. It’s my favorite spot in this whole town!”

“Alright then, lead the way.” He stops hugging me and with a burst of confidence, I held his hand and led him out of the Arcade.

Out on the street I started walking back towards the way we came. On our walk we passed the Coffee shop and I see Felicia dancing to her music. I focus on the road ahead leading him down the road. To the beach. As we reach there, I veer off to an unknown path on the beach. The sun is slowly gets lower. I didn’t realize it’s so late. We soon reached my special spot. I haven’t been here in a while.

“Here we are! My favorite spot. Would you like to watch the sunset with me?” I faced Quasn.

He softly smiled and hugged me, whispered in my ear, “I would love to.”

A shiver went up my spine and I hugged him tightly back. This time the hug lasts way longer than I expected. It felt amazing.

It sadly ended when he broke the silence that came between us, “Saoinn I have to tell you something, especially if we continue this relationship.”

I nod and I sit on the sand gesturing for him to. “Go ahead, take as much time as you need.”

He sits down next to me and our hands overlap. He takes a deep breath and continues, staring at the water’s edge, “I think you are incredible and adorable, Saoinn. I like you, a lot. A bunch. I feel I have to tell you this important secret.”

He takes another deep breath, “I’m a mythic. I can turn into a dragon.”

I knew it. “Quasn,” I pause for dramatic effect, “I’m a mythic too. I’m a selkie.”

I seem him visibly relax and let out a relieved laugh, “Thank the gods.”

I laugh too. “So what are you doing way out here dragon boy?”

“The last town I was from found out I was a dragon and ran me out. I came here to escape all that.” He smiles warmly at me, “What are you doing on land, Selkie?”

“Trying to find the perfect mate. So far I think you are doing quite nicely.” I wink at him. I think it was sexy enough because I saw him blush ever so slightly.

“Well I hope I can please the wonderful Saoinn.” Now it’s my turn to blush but with the intensity of a thousand suns.

“I- Quasn, you… Um… You are just so fantastic, and and perfect. I, can’t, just can’t believe we-we found each other.” Really? I just did all that? I mentally smacked myself.

He tips my chin towards him and says, “Neither can I Saoinn. May I kiss you?”

I nod.

He then kisses me. It felt amazing. My heart fluttered in my chest, then beats rapidly. I feel a twisting and burning sensation in my stomach.

He closes his eyes and I close mine.

The sun sinks below the horizon.

Fifth Excerpt

Quasn and I cuddle on the couch at Quasn’s place. It has been a week since my first date with him, so far it’s amazing. He visits the coffee shop everyday, even helps a bunch when he visits, especially when it’s rush hour. This is my first time at his house. In my opinion it’s a really nice apartment, it has a small kitchen, a full bathroom, and semi-small living room. I haven’t seen his bedroom, not yet. We are watching a scary movie together, which I hate, though I’m suffering through it for him.

When we get to an especially gory part I look away, burying my head in Quasn’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry Saoi, the gory part will be over soon.”

“Oki. Tell me when it is.” I say a little muffled in his shoulder.

He nods and continues to watch the movie. When the gory part was over, we continued watching the movie together, soon it was over and we sat there snuggling for a little while longer. Both of us didn’t want the night to end.

I finally broke the silence. “Quasn, I should probably get home before it’s too late.”

He nods, “That should be for the best, though may I have one last kiss before you go?”

“Of course.” We kissed, a soft and gentle one, that lasted a little longer than it should.

We then untangled ourselves from our little cuddling pile on the couch and I went over to the door to get my shoes on.

“Do you want me to walk you home? It’s seems to be too dark outside for you to go alone.” Quasn asked, worry faintly there in his voice.

I smile and shake my head, “I think I’ll be alright. I’ve got a little self-defense in me, if need be.”

That seems to soothe him a little bit. He nods and gives me a tight hug. “Text me when you get home.”

I nod and hug back. “One quick kiss please?”

He presses a small peck on my lips and we released from the hug. I smile softly, and whispered, “I had a wonderful evening, thank you.”

“It’s only the best I can do.” He squeezes my shoulder and I open the door.

“See you soon.” I walk outside his apartment.

“See you soon.” Quasn closes the door.

I then start walking towards the street, towards my home. Quasn lives a 20 min walk away from my place, so it’s gonna take a little bit to get home. I notice that it looks a lot later than I thought, so I look at the time on my phone, it’s 11 o’clock. I walk a little faster because normally by now drunks are out.

About 10 mins after I left Quasn’s house, I see a drunk man walking across the street. Towards me.

I start to freak out a little but I’m trying to stay calm. I walk even faster.  

He reaches me and calls out, “Hey Bitch, why don’t I take you home and fuck you!”

I ignore him, trying to walk a little faster. My head looking down at the ground.

That proved to be a mistake.

He comes up right behind me and pulls me into an ally. I struggle against his grip, he’s really strong.

“Don’t ignore me freak.” His voice a dangerous low whisper.

“Let me go!” I struggle more.

He pushes me against the wall, forcing me to spread my legs.

“Maybe I should do you here.” His voice slurs ever so slightly.

Now I start crying. “Let me go! Please!”

He does things to me and I felt so defiled. I screamed and screamed. No one seemed to hear me.

Once he was done, he left me on the ground. Then kicked me, hard. In the stomach.“That’s what you get bitch.”

I sobbed more.

He leaves and I just lay on the ground, clothes tattered, wondering how this could happen.

After what felt like hours, I pick myself up and start my trek home. I feel disgusting, a piece of trash. Everything hurts.

I avoid the mirror when I arrived home. I don’t want to see what I looked like. Tears ever so slowly make their way down my face. I peel off the clothes and throw them away, I don’t ever want to see them again. I jump in the shower to feel a little bit better but everything hurts, so bad. More sobs come out.

Once I was done I got dressed for bed. I doubt I’ll get any sleep.

I finally look at my phone, skipping over the time as I text Quasn, ‘I’m home.’

Then I collapse in bed, sobbing more.

Sixth Excerpt

I wake up to my alarm the day after and just stare at the ceiling. I still felt utterly terrible. Somehow I fell asleep last night, though I have no idea when or how.

I drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day. I feel so empty, like my heart has turned into a black hole and sucked up all my emotions and thoughts, leaving me as a numb empty shell. Though I'm emotionally numb, my skin feels too tight around me and I feel like I'm about to vomit.

I finish getting ready and my skin is red from three great of the shower and me scrubbing at it until I thought I'd bleed. I walk downstairs in just a baggy sweater and baggy jeans. I didn’t even attempt my hair today. I just threw on a beanie to cover it up instead. I start the daily chores before opening and making sure everything was in shape.

Once done with that, I flip over the ‘closed’ sign to say ‘open’. Today is Felicia’s day off, so it’s just me, myself, and my dangerous thoughts.

I just went through the motions of the day, trying to steer my thoughts away from last night. I feel like I'm there, but not really there. It's as if my mind is in a different universe observing through my body.

Business is slow throughout the day. I don’t mind, for once.

Around 4 o’clock, right before the evening rush, Quasn walks in, a smile bright on his face. I try to give one in reply, try not to let him know that something horrible happened.

He must notice the pain in my face, because his smile falls and it’s replaced by worry. “Saoinn, are you ok?”

Then I broke down crying.

He rushes over to me and holds me up, hugging me right in his arms. Quasn rubs soft circles on my back as I try to sob quietly into his shoulder.

There had been a few people in the shop when he arrived, but they seemed to sense that they needed to leave because I heard them get up and leave out the door.

Once I calmed down a little, I croakily said, “I’m sorry. S-so so sorry.”

“What for, angel?” He keeps holding me.

Flashes of last night go through my head and I shake my head. Sobbing once more with more intensity as I shake, unable to breathe in anything but hiccupped inhales.

We just stood there, with him holding me and me sobbing into his shoulder.

After a little bit, once I calm down enough to simply breathe, he asks, “Do you want to call Felicia?”

I shake my head and he continues, “Ok, let’s get you upstairs, I’ll close the shop for you ok?”

I nod my head and he gives me one last squeeze. I slowly walk upstairs, sniffling and trying not to burst into tears again. I sit down on my couch and curl up into myself.

After 10 mins or so Quasn comes up, and he sits down next to me. I was curled up, my face buried into my legs.

“Do you need me to do anything?” He places his hand on my shoulder.

I shake my head, “I just need some time alone. Please don’t tell Felicia. I’m not ready yet.”

His gives a light smile, “Ok, I promise I won’t. I’ll leave you be, but I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you ok?”

“Ok…” I look up and give a half-hearted smile.

He gives me a light peck on my forehead and drapes a blanket over me. Then he leaves silently, leaving me to my thoughts.

At one point I fall asleep. I had felt so drained, it was welcoming. If Quasn came to check on me, I had no idea. By the time I woke up, it was dark outside.

I blearily sit up, wondering what woke me up. Then I have a gut feeling that something bad is going to happen.

I hear a crash down stairs. Now I’m wide awake and i can feel my heart climbing into my throat. I hear quiet shuffling, like someone is coming up the stairs.

I quickly get up and put myself into a self-defense stance as I prepare to fight.

The person reached the top of the stairs and I gulp; it’s not Quasn nor Felicia.

I feel my fear spike high. “What are you doing here?” I shout at them.

The person looks at me, they pull out a knife. I feel my fear spike even higher and curl tight in my stomach.

“Get out or I’ll call the cops!” I try to keep the fear out of my voice, but it wavers ever so slightly.

They move towards me and I try to dodge out of the way, but they manage to slash my arm. It feels deep and throbs as blood starts dripping down my arm.  

The next few moments go past in a blur and I find myself on my back. They stab the knife in my stomach, leaving it there. I groan, fumbling to grab it before I remember that you're not supposed to pull them out. I'm cold and everything hurts. Am I going into shock?

I don’t move, making the person believe I am dead. I can hear them shuffling around, looking through my stuff. Soon I can't hear anything beyond the ringing in my ears and my vision starts to waver. Before I knew it, everything was black.

Seventh Excerpt:

I wake up, though it feels like more of a daze. My entire body hurts and I can hear beeping. I look around and it dawns on me. I’m in the hospital. Quasn and Felicia are sitting on a bench that’s in, what seems, my hospital room.

“H-hey.” I croak, my voice hoarse and my throat dry.

Both of them jump up and Quasn is the first to speak. “Saoinn, thank the gods above you are awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was skinned then ran over by a truck.” I give a light chuckle then I wince. Laughing hurts my stomach.

“Hey, bestie, do you need anything?” Felicia asks gingerly.

“What the hell happened.” I look them both dead in the eye.

Quasn looks down, almost like he feels ashamed. “Well I came back to check on you, a second time after you fell asleep. I saw the coffee shop was ransacked and I ran up to see you on the floor. Bleeding. I-“ he falters.

“It’s alright. You had no idea what was going to happen.” I close my eyes. Flashes from last night and the night before go through my head.

“Saoinn, you were out for a week. We-we weren’t sure you’ll wake up.” Felicia gets up and places her hand over mine.

“What? It was just...” I look down. This has been the worst, couple days? No, week.

Quasn walks over to the other side of my bed and places his hand over my other hand. “I can’t bear to lose you, Saoinn.”

I sob. Just like a baby. It hurts so bad but I can't stop. I just can’t hold back the tears any longer. Felicia and Quasn hug me tight while I cry.

Once done crying, I faintly get out, “I’m sorry. So, so, sorry.”

“What do you need to be sorry for? Saoinn, we love you no matter what. There is nothing to be sorry for.” Quasn gives me a small kiss on my forehead, and continues, “We can only imagine what you are going through.”

“Don’t worry Saoi.” Felicia smiles softly.

“Thanks guys.” They give me one last hug and then Felicia returns to the bench. Quasn remains next to my bed, worry etched into his face.

I am about to say something but then the doctor walks in.

“Hello Saoinn, I am Dr. Chen. I am aware you are a selkie. I take care of all mythical creatures that come into this hospital. I myself am not a Mythic.” They shake my hand and continues, “Now Saoinn, what is your gender?”

“Neither.” I stare off, not wanting to hear the usual montra that I had to pick one.

They surprise me by saying, “Ah, ok. I’m guessing your pronouns are they/them. Mine are he/him.”

I nod, “Yeah.”

“Now, you had a stab wound in the abdomen. It ruptured your some of your major intestines. There was a lot of internal bleeding. Good thinking not to pull out the knife.” I nod waiting for him to continue. “You were out for a week because of some pretty hard blow to the head. You seem to be doing ok now. We ran a bunch of tests and your lucky. It could of been much worse. Now I ask you two”- he indicates Quasn and Felicia-“to leave. I need to speak privately with the patient.”

Quasn gives my hand a squeeze and leaves the room with Felicia.

After the door closes, Dr. Chen looks to me, “Now this may not be an easy answer, it’s a hard question to ask. While we were doing tests we noticed some bruising in some areas that aren’t caused by a simple scuffle. Were you raped?”

I hold my breath, thinking for a second. I don’t want people to know. It-it hurts to think about it. I nod, “Y-yes. The night before.”

The doctor nods, satisfied. “I suggest telling someone. Other than me.”

Dr. Chen leaves, and Quasn and Felicia re-enter the room. I smile softly and we sit and chat for a while. It turns out both of them have been taking care of the shop for me. As we are talking it dawns on me, they care so much about me. That thought brought tears to my eyes.

“What’s wrong, Saoinn?” Felicia asks, of course she noticed the tears threatening to spill out.

“You, you guys- care so so much about me. I-I never had that before,” Tears roll down my cheeks, “I love you guys. So damn much.”

“I love you too.” They both say in unison, leaning in and hugging me.

I sob, again. I’m not ready to tell them yet, but for some reason I believe they’ll help me through anything.

Eighth Excerpt:

Over the past few days, it’s been utter hell. I haven’t healed up yet and I am just itching to get out of the hospital. I hate the stark white rooms. I hate the food. I dislike a few of the nurses; they obviously don’t know I’m a mythic and they keep saying stuff when they think I’m not listening. They keep saying things like, “She must be a girl, I mean she has a boyfriend!” or “He has to be a guy, I mean he looks so masculine!” It just makes me sick to my stomach hearing that.

Quasn helps a lot though with these issues. He never leaves my side, until the nurses and doctors kick him out. When he comes back each day, the first thing he does is kiss my forehead, then my lips. He tells me all about the coffee shop, Felicia’s little stunts she likes to pull, how the customers have been asking about me, and how much he loves me.

Today Quasn walks in with a big smile on his face and a bag in his hand. “Hello, Love!” He says cheerily while placing the bag next to my bed, then he gives me a kiss on the forehead.

I smile, “Hello Dragon.”

He gives me a light peck on the lips and pulls the bench next to my bed. He grabs the bag and pulls a book out of it. He smiles wide and says, “I was thinking, perhaps instead of me talking about mundane stuff all the time, I read you a book instead?”

“Which book did you grab?” I ask smiling as well.

“The one about the Dragon and the Selkie.” He gives me a knowing look and I give him a crooked grin; of course my dork of a boyfriend would choose that one.

“Well start reading! I want to hear the story! I haven’t read it in awhile.” I give him a goofy smile, my eyes scrunching.

“Alright, alright! I’ll start reading! Jeez, you selkie are so demanding sometimes.” He smiles and I stick out my tongue.

He opens the book to the first page and clears his throat, “‘Living on this boat isn’t easy…’”

I close my eyes and listen to him speak,  his voice melodic and soft; he reads wonderfully.

Over time, I hear his voice starting to get hoarse so I stop him, “Quasn, honey, why don’t you take a break? I don’t want you to lose your voice.”

“You seem to be enjoying the story, I don’t mind.” Quasn says in response.

“Yeah, and I don’t want your wonderful voice to be ruined, we’ll pick up the story tomorrow.” I reach out my right arm to place on his shoulder, but a sharp pain went through it. I grimace and made a noise.

“Are you ok? What’s wrong Saoi?” He asks as soon as I did that.

“I’m, I’m fine.” I force a smile and place my arm back down, it was the one that got cut in the scuffle. It really hurts, I haven’t noticed until now.

“You sure? Do you need me to get a nurse?” Worry still etched in Quasn’s face. I shake my head. He stares at me skeptical but backs down.

We sat in silence, letting stretch out. My arm throbs, and I have no idea why. Maybe because they haven’t changed the bandaging in a few days. I don’t see any blood seeping through, but I can’t really be sure. I hope it isn’t infected. A nurse saunters in, interrupting my thoughts. It’s one of the ones I dislike.

“Ok, Miss. I need to check a few things.” She emphasized Miss and I was about to slap her.

“Ok, Sir.” I snap back.

The nurse stops midstep, “I’m not a Sir.”

“Well neither am I a Miss, but I thought everyone here misgenders everyone else and shows no respect for preferred pronouns, so I thought it was fine.” The Nurse gaped, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water, obviously trying to find something to say.

“Sorry, what may I call you then?” She sounds annoyed, probably because I am calling her out on her bullshit.

“Mx or just my name please.” I say curtly. The nurse nods and gets to work, making sure everything looked alright. Quasn gives me a reassuring nod, I have a gut feeling he knows what it is like to be misgendered. The Nurse starts changing the bandages on my arm and I hear her gasp.

I look over at my arm and see it is turning a sickly yellow and clear puss is slowly oozing out of the wound, I almost threw up. With a wavering voice I ask, “What’s wrong with- with my arm?”

“Mis- Mx, your arm is infected, we need to treat this right away.” The Nurse says quietly.

Quasn looks at my arm horrified. I guess he’s never seen something like this before. He goes to the other side of my hospital bed and places a hand on my shoulder, it felt very reassuring. The Nurse puts new bandages on, obviously not sure on what else to do, and tells both of us, “I’ll speak with Dr. Chen. He’ll know what to do.”

The nurse walks out of the room at a brisk pace. I hope she can reach the doctor soon. Quasn looks at me and gives me a soft smile, I can see the worry embedded in his eyes. To try and reassure him I say with the best smile I can muster, “Don’t worry, it’s probably not that big of a deal. It’s not like my arm will be cut off due to a simple infection.”

He relaxes a little but is still very very worried, “Yeah, hopefully.” He squeezes my shoulder and I place my hand, that’s on my good arm, over top his hand on my shoulder.

In a few minutes, Dr. Chen arrives. He bustles in and says as getting gloves, “Let’s take a look at the arm. I’ll take some samples and get them tested. Mx. Saoinn, what is your pain level?”

“About a 5.” I say truthfully, there is no use lying to him.

He frowns but continues. Dr. Chen peels away the new bandages to get a look at the arm, it doesn’t look any better. I watch him work, trying to find any indication something might be seriously wrong. He presses his lips in a firm line and quietly replaces the bandaging.

“What is wrong Doctor?” Quasn asks, stealing the words that I was going to say. Dr. Chen glances to us both and busies himself with packing things up.

“You caught a severe infection, out of what I can tell from looking at Saoinn’s arm. I’ll prescribe some antidotes, the tests done on the samples I took will give a good indication on which ones I should prescribe. If the wound doesn’t get any better-” He pauses and looks me straight in the eye, “-we may have to amputate the arm.”

I glance down solem. If that happens I won’t have any use of my arm. I’ll be limited then, I can’t do things as well as I did before. I-

“Hopefully that won’t happen.” Quasn interjects, interrupting the downward spiral in my thoughts, “I believe Saoinn here is strong enough to pull through.”

The doctor nods, “Selkies have different immune systems than humans, stronger in fact. They also have different physiology then humans. It could be where humans couldn’t survive this but selkies can. We just have to wait and see, but I'm optimistic. The pus is clear, only lymph fluid. Just be aware of the possibility of amputation.”

Both Quasn and I nod in agreement to that.

Ninth Excerpt

The infection didn’t get better. It only got worse. I hoped, and hoped, and hoped, it just didn’t get better. Now, we have to look at amputation. Dr. Chen, he is so kind. I can tell he doesn’t want to do this either.

“Now during the procedure you will be under anesthesia, and you will also have painkillers in your system so you won’t feel any pain. After it is over, we are often told by people who get arms or legs amputated that they have a phantom feeling of the appendage still being there. Overtime, you’ll get used to not having a right arm. You'll find ways to adjust and continue living a normal life,” Dr. Chen explains. Quasn and Felicia are listening intently, as well as I. I need to distract myself from the dark thoughts circling and threatening to pull me under and crush me.

“What can we do to help?” Felicia asks.

Dr. Chen smiles, but it seems so fake, “Help them out, offer any assistance if they ask for it. Don’t mother them and especially don’t make fun of them for it, but I know for sure you guys won’t do that. One last thing Saoinn, are you left hand dominant or right?”

“I’m ambidextrous.” I say, proud of myself for teaching myself that at least.

“So this will be less of a struggle for you than most amputees. Just take your time and take it slow, ok?” Dr. Chen smiles warmly, but the smile still isn’t reaching his eyes.

“Ok.”

“We will have the procedure tomorrow. Until then rest well. Quasn, Felicia, you both have permission to stay overnight if you would like. When I come back here we’ll move you to the operating room.” Then Dr. Chen leaves.

I close my eyes tight, willing myself not to the cry. With a shaky voice ask them both, “Will you guys stay? The whole time?”

“Absolutely.”

“Of course.”

Quasn and Felicia say at the same time. They look at each other in surprise. I laugh, they act so much alike and they don’t ever realize it. I smile wide at both of them, “I love you guys.”

“I love you too, Saoi.” Felicia leans in to hug me.

“You know I do as well.” Quasn also leans to hug me.

They both wrap their arms around me and I close my eyes, content. I would love to just stay in their arms forever, letting the pains from the wound and pains from before just fade away. I just wish things are much more different then they are, I wish so many things. Tears start to slowly slip out. I don’t want to cry but I can’t stop the tears. Soon enough I’m sobbing. Quasn and Felicia stay silent, knowing I’ll tell them what’s wrong.

After a seemingly endless minute, I slow down. Sobs ceasing. I collect myself. My breathing is raspy and shuddered. They are still holding me and I cling to them. I whisper out, “I’m so sorry. Everything has just gone bad so suddenly.”

Felicia rubs my back, “It’s alright Saoinn. All this couldn’t have been avoided. Getting attacked by the robber, the infection getting worse, it’s all things to help counter balance the future.”

“Was getting raped fair then?” I snap. Then realizing what I said I covered my mouth, sinking back into the bed; I really had not meant to reveal that.

Quasn and Felicia pull back and I struggle to hold back tears. Felicia’s face is full of horror and Quasn... I can’t read his expression. I look down to avoid their eyes and wait for their reactions. I don’t know what to expect.

Quasn is the first to speak, “I’m so sorry Saoinn. I didn’t,” he takes a shuddering deep breath, “I didn't know…” he trails off looking to his side, seeming conflicted on what to say next. After a long moment he picks up again and whispers, “When did it happen?”

I look down squeezing my eyes tight and I twist the blankets in my hands. I don’t want to tell them, although I know I should though, “The night before the robber attacked me, when I was walking home from your apartment.”

Quasn nods, his expression still unreadable, Felicia’s horrific expression has gone away but it’s replaced with anger.

Felicia hugs me again, “Who did this this to you? We need to prosecute them. I don’t want my best friend or anyone else going through that ever again.”

“It was a drunk guy, I don’t know who he was nor where he was going. All I know is that he was drunk.” I say quickly, but I agree with her, I need to prosecute him.

“Saoinn, I’m sorry.” Quasn finally speaks again.

“For what? It wasn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t go with you, I could of protected you, I could of-” His voice cracks and tears slowly slip out.

“Quasn. It is not your fault.” I place my hand on his shoulder, “It was my decision to go home alone and there is nothing to be done. I assure you it’s not your fault.”

He nods as tears flow softly and he wraps his arms around my waist and places his head in the crook of my neck. I feel him shake as he sobs and I rub his back gently, placing a kiss on top of his head.

I notice Felicia sitting back trying not fangirl a little bit. I give her a glare and continue holding Quasn, comforting him the best I can. An idea pops in my head.

“Hey, Quasn, did you bring the book with you? It's called Horizon, right?” I softly say.

He nods and lifts head out of the crook of my neck, “Of course.”

“I would love to hear you read it.”

He smiles wide, grateful for the distraction most likely, and goes and grabs the book. He sits down on the bench and Felicia joins him there.

Quasn picks up from where we left off last time.

I don’t know when I feel asleep, but someone woke me up. I look to my left and it’s Quasn, softly shaking me awake.

“Good morning, Love.” He says softly.

“Morning.” I drag out the word, still sleepy.

“Dr. Chen is going to be here soon to take you to the operating room.” Quasn then he goes over and wakes Felicia up. To my slight amusement, it's hard to be fully amused when you know you're about to have an amputation, she didn’t take too it kindly.

After we all finally wake up, Dr. Chen walks in, towing behind him a nurse. It’s the one that I don’t like all that much. “Are you ready, Mx. Saoinn?” He asks.

I nod my head and the nurse pulls in a wheelchair, “What’s this for? I can walk on my own.” I ask.

“Due to protocol we have to transfer patients this way if they have been hospitalized for a little bit. Sorry, but you have to go in the chair.” Dr. Chen says, “I understand that you may not like it, but we don’t have a minute to lose.”

I sigh but comply and get in the wheelchair. Dr. Chen starts leading us and the nurse follows, pushes me out the room while Quasn and Felicia trail behind.

I look down at my hands folded in my lap, then the realization fully hits me. This is the very last time I’m able to have both arms. The last time I’m able to look normal. The last time I’m able to do anything on my own for a long time.

I sigh softly as I really don’t know what to do. For the last time, I lift my right arm and run it through my hair. It’s a small thing really. It hurt like hell, but I want to do something with it one last time besides feel just pain.

We reach the operating room and Felicia and Quasn have to wait outside in the chairs set there. Dr. Chen introduces me to a different doctor. I don’t catch his name. My mind is million miles away. I manage to give a faint nod to the questions I'm asked. I feel detached from my emotions, like I’m observing another body. One that isn’t mine, one that hurts so much. I get placed on the operating table and the rest becomes a blur. I fall into a sleep. I feel nothing.  

Tenth Excerpt:

I wake up back in my hospital room. It's night and I can see the Stars outside the window. I blearily look around and no one is here. It’s just me, myself, and I. I morosely look at my right arm. It’s gone, from the shoulder down. I wiggle my stump, that’s what I’m going to call it, and it’s bandaged. This is going to be hell. I don't realize that I'm crying until the first tear hits the blanket. I softly let the tears out trying not to make a sound as I sob. My hand covers my mouth as an extra effort not to scream. Everything hurts, inside and out. Why has all of this happened to me? What could I have done to ever deserve this?

After what seems like hours, I hear footsteps in the hallway and lights coming on. I quickly dry my tears, forcing myself to calm down and smile, burying all of the pain that I feel; I don’t want anyone to pity me. A nurse walks in and doesn’t look at me, just turns on the lights, looks at the monitors and my bandages then leaves. I don’t notice that I tense up until the door closes and I relax, letting out a sigh of relief. I wish Quasn or Felicia were here.

Then, as if the gods heard my wish, Quasn walks in smiling his soft, warm smile. I give a pained one back. It’s nice to see him, despite everything. He walks over to my bed and gives me a kiss on the forehead then my lips like he always does. “Hello Love,” He says softly.

“Hey darling,” I croak out, my throat very dry from crying, “Here so early?”

“Yeah, I slept in the waiting room. I wanted to be there when you woke up but the nurses wouldn’t let me. How are you feeling?” He sits down on the bench, reaching over to grab my only hand.

“Would you like the honest answer or the one I will give everyone?” I say slightly sarcastically.

“I want the honest truth.” He says very seriously.

“Everything hurts,” I sigh, “I just want all this be over. I-“ my voice cracks and my eyes water, “I... it feels like I can’t do it anymore. It’s like hell on earth, but only for me. I’m scared, Quasn…” although I don't tell him that my greatest fear is that he will leave me.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he lays a hand on my cheek and strokes my cheekbone with his thumb, “Saoinn you have every right to be upset. I love you no matter what, I loved you before I knew you were a selkie. I loved you before all this happened,”He leans over and gives me a soft peck on my lips, “And I’ll keep loving you through anything.”

Tears do slip out, surprising me; I had thought I cried everything out, but apparently not. I dry them quickly and choke out, as my throat is still dry, “Thank you.”

He hugs me and I give him a hug back the best I can. It felt weird, only being able to use one arm. Suddenly, all of the little things I won't be able to do anymore hit me. I can’t do by myself anymore; I can’t sweep; I can’t wash dishes; I can’t read without using something to hold my book. Eating is going to be very hard; I can’t cut up my food. All of the failed possibilities start to feel like they're overwhelming me.

Before I could think of anything else, Dr. Chen walked in, talking to another nurse, “Please go get the documents, and make sure to let some of my other patients know I’ll be coming soon.” When nurse nods and leaves, he looks to me. Quasn has already sat back down on the bench and I say, “What is it Dr. Chen?”

“Mx. Saoinn, as you can tell, the amputation was a success and next week you will be discharged from the hospital. I have some documents you need to have detailing information of the struggles of being amputated and how to overcome it. Are you in any pain?” Dr. Chen says.

“Yes, a bit.”

“We’ll prescribe pain medication and antibiotics for you to take. They'll be available for you to get from the pharmacy as soon as possible. I hope you feel better soon and best of luck.” Dr. Chen then suddenly leaves before I can get a single word out. A few seconds later, the same nurse comes in and handed me documents. One of them is the discharge referral and I fill it out. The nurse then leaves.

The week flies by, nothing felt real. I go into this state of depression, feeling as if nothing’s going to get better. The day came to get discharged and Quasn is with me the whole time.

I walk out of the hospital with Quasn next to me. I feel slightly bewildered but mostly depressed. I’m glad I can write with my left hand. Quasn is holding the documents in his backpack that I assume he had the whole time and I didn’t notice. He holds my hand and guides me home. Neither of us have a car. We idly chat, about the shop, Felicia, and his cats. Anything but my arm.

As we walk I see people staring, children mostly but quite a few adults. I felt so awkward. I know they are looking at my stump, bandages and all. I try to ignore them. I fail. Mostly.

Soon enough we arrive at the shop. It’s dark because the shop is closed on Saturdays. We walk in and Quasn leads me upstairs, into my house. It’s clean, and there seems to be no evidence of the burglary. I really didn’t have much to begin with; I had to start from nothing when I left the sea, the only thing I brought with me was some clothes I had found from shipwrecks. I close my eyes, flashes of those memories going through my mind.

Then a sudden question pops in my head, what will happen if I turn back into a seal? Will I get my arm back?

Quasn has me sit on the couch, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Do you need anything?” He asks me.

“Love and affection.” I reply sarcastically. He rolls his eyes and sits down next to me and puts his arm around me, “You wanna watch a movie?”

“Anything but a scary movie.”

Quasn nods and pulls out the remote, and turns on the TV. We surf the channels a little bit and finally settled on watching The Princess Bride. As we were watching it, I managed a few small smiles and a couple chuckles. Quasn, meanwhile, laughed and smiled a bit more than I did. I think it was an attempt to lighten the mood.

After the movie was over, Quasn suggested staying the night and I agreed. I don’t feel comfortable being alone quite yet. We got ready for bed and Quasn borrowed clothes to sleep in because he didn’t bring anything to wear. They were a little big on him and it made him look like an older child. I giggled a bit at that. We both decided to lay down on my bed. Quasn insisted sleeping on the couch but I pulled the ‘I don’t want to sleep alone’ card on him. With a wet shake off his head, he agreed.

After a while of staying awake, I faintly hear Quasn snoring. I can’t sleep. It feels so weird sleeping in my bed. I’m expecting anyone to break in any moment. I get up and walk around the house, making sure all the doors are locked, the windows closed, and the security alarm is on. Then I grabbed my baseball bat and place it next to my bed. After all that is done, I crawl back into the bed and wrap my arms around Quasn. I don’t want anything to happen to him. I slowly drift into sleep.

I’m surrounded by the burglar and that man. Both of their faces are distorted, advancing towards me. I back away and then I feel myself hit a wall. “Go Away!” I scream. They both seen unfazed by this as they still are getting closer. I feel tears come out as I panic and scream, “NO!” I wake up to Quasn shaking me gently. It seems like he was holding me down.

“Saoinn? You ok?” He asks frantically.

Hot tears go down my face. I shake my head. Quasn then unrestrained me and pulled me into a tight hug. I’m sobbing now. Clinging onto him. Quasn mummers softly in my ear, “It’s alright. They are not here. You’re safe.”

His words ring in my head as I sob.

[words-are-my-existence]

Tea and Coffee

Introduction Part I: Picturesque

Note: Contains fluff, comedy, and angst. May have course language and mature themes but mainly softness.

*The title image was taken from Pinterest and edited with Pic Collage

~

The red string of fate has ways of tying many souls together but sometimes it to can become tangled and make it unclear to who exactly, ones heart is destined to be with.

“No, I’m not putting bubble tea on the menu,” Eliza firmly stated in answer to the suggestion her friend had put forward. It was a quiet afternoon, the two young adults trying to brainstorm new items to serve at the cafe they both ran, The Curious Cat. It was opened a year ago, the twenty-two year old Eliza managing it with help from her friend Jai who was a few years older. Originally Eliza started the store up to help her save up money to continue travelling around the world, though the cafe had begun to make a place in her heart within the year of running it. It was a quiet but simple place, she made various teas while Jai worked on the coffees. They sold some sweets like cookies and muffins but mostly it was a well brewed cup of English Breakfast that brought customers into their small abode. It was beautiful and peaceful home away from home,

“Come on, they taste so good though! I’m sure maybe we could figure out how to make them?” Jai pushed, bringing Eliza back to the present moment of the pair inside the cafe debating over what to add to menu. Jai was seated by the counter opposite to the chocolate haired Eliza, who was in the process of wiping up cups that had been used earlier in the day,

“Jai we can’t. It’s expensive as well as complicates things further, there being so much to making bubble tea. I think as well our customers are happy with the beverages we already have. We need to think up food, not drinks,” Eliza explained to the blue eyed girl, who in turn scratched her head in thought,

“I mean, if we were licensed we could add alcohol to the tea, but then that would bring about more issues needing security in case anyone were to become intoxicated,”

“Jai, foooood,” Eliza sighed grabbing a choc chip cookie that was on display, the older girl’s face lighting up upon seeing the delicious treat,

“Ooh thanks!” She smiled gratefully, taking the cookie and joyfully nibbling on it straight away,

“Seriously how can you be the older one when you act so much younger,” Eliza laughed lightly at her friends’ antics. The two adults had become quick friends after meeting at a music festival, still keeping in contact when Jai went away for a few years doing school in Canada. She was a unique person, standing at 6’1” inches tall and having long brown almost red hair. She was the kind of person that many would think is gentle and sweet though if you wronged her she would literally kick your ass, as Eliza had witnessed many times when someone rubbed Jai the wrong way.

As Jai was snacking away at her cookie a jingle of bells rang out as the door to the cafe was opened, a tall man with dark black hair walking in with a small smile. He held a large professional camera in his hands, his coffee coloured eyes focused on the screen of the device and analysing the images in it,

“Afternoons Johnny,” Jai piped up between bites of her cookie, giving a wave before quickly finishing the biscuit off and leaving her chair to go back to her work station,

“Jai don’t eat with your mouth full ges,” Eliza scolded her before turning to their customer, ”Hi Johnny, looking to have the house blend?”

“Hey guys, and yes please,” Johnny greeted back, taking Jai’s previous seat by the counter and placing his camera down to watch the two go about preparing the coffee,”Oh Liz I got a few good photos today of the river, I was wondering if you wanted to have a look through them and tell me your opinion on them?”

“Of course, still trying to get that perfect shot?” She asked while frothing some milk, Jai already onto tampering the ground coffee beans,

“Heh yeah, can’t blame me when there’s always such beautiful scenery before me,” Johnny replied with a small chuckle, glancing at Eliza momentarily as he spoke.

Johnny was one of their casual regulars who always tried to come in when he could between his adventures of film and photography. He enjoyed the art of capturing sights and scenes through a lens, his photos always breathtaking. But to him there was something that he lacked in each image, so he kept taking practicing, trying to find that ‘perfect shot’ as Eliza and Jai had conned it. He was a gentle and humorous man, seeming to not even hurt a fly. Though some days he had came into cafe covered in scratches and bruises, one evening before closing he once stumbled in with a black eye making both girls worry and fuss over him like mother hens as he would call it. Though he did appreciated the free coffee and biscuits they gave him after bandaging him up, he refused to give up the details to what had happened besides saying,

“Just a small disagreement I had, that’s all,”

Still it gave them a fright and even though he plays it off as mere accidents Eliza and Jai can’t help but worry,

“One house blend sir, hope you enjoy!” Jai cheerfully served Johnny his coffee after Eliza had poured the milk into it and finished it off with some chocolate dusting,

“Thank you very much, hey how is the spicy coffee coming along?” Johnny asked as he rested his camera on the counter and started sipping his drink,

“Still a work in progress, one day maybe we’ll get the recipe right. Or Jai will just keep drinking the duds,” Eliza explained with a laugh, Jai poking

her,

“Hey cinnamon is good to use. There’s no way we’re going to use the spice you added the last time we tested the tea,” She added in with a shake of her head, Johnny looking up at them curiously,

“What kind of ingredient are you talking about?” He inquired, Jai scrunching her face up as Eliza giggled lightly,

“I thought chili would be a fun thing to add. And I didn’t really tell Jai till after she drunk the tea and well, you can guess she didn’t have a great time,” She tried to hide a smile as Jai massaged her forehead with a painful expression,

“Never have I ever experienced such a horrifying moment where my mouth was numb and burning at the same time,” The brunette shivered at the memory before continuing to clean the coffee machine,”Anyways it’s all trial and error, we’ll get something good eventually, oh,” Jai pauses for a moment and turns away,”Give me a minute, I think I heard my phone go off,” She explains before moving away to the staff room,

“Ever the eccentric one isn’t she,” Johnny commented as he sipped at his coffee, Eliza nodding with a smile,

“She is, with a big heart at that to. Oh yeah do you want me to have a look at those photos now?” She remembered and asked, Johnny grinning as he passed his camera to her,

“Yeah, if you have time of course. I know the cafe has been getting more popular recently. There’s a part of me that just wishes it was quiet like it used to be so I could spend more time with yo-“ A buzzing sound cut Johnny off, the normally calm man sighing in frustration as he took his phone out of his pocket,”Dammit seriously, I thought that was taken care of already. I’m sorry Liz, tell Jai I said thanks for the coffee,” He apologised and placed the money for the drink on the counter, standing up and exiting the cafe before Eliza could say bye,

“That was...sudden, hopefully it’s nothing too serious,” Eliza thought out loud to herself before realising she was still holding Johnny’s camera,”Oh crap! Johnny wait!” She rushed around the counter and to the door, opening it and looking around outside only to see no sign of the tall photographer, just the bustling streets of Seoul,

“Well, I’ll have to keep this in a safe place until he comes back for it,” Eliza noted as she headed back inside, almost walking into Jai who was making a dash for the door,

“Sorry Lizzy, I just got a message from our supplier about the blue mountain beans being back in stock as well as a few other new additions, so I just wanted to go and pick them up before they run out again,” Jai explained, already with her bag on and ready to go,

“We’re pretty quiet right now so it should be alright if you head out while you can, if there is any new teas try to get those to please,” Eliza reminded, Jai nodding with a thumbs up,

“No problemo, I’ll be back before you know it,” She replied as she walked out, picking her pace up to get to their supplier as quickly as possible,

“Hopefully she doesn’t get distracted,” Eliza thought out loud, returning to behind the counter and picking up from where Jai left off on cleaning the coffee machine.

~

[allebooklover]

Playing Postman (of Love)

@girls-with-boys-names - Thank you for waiting, I’m your Secret Santa! Happy New Year!

This is for the @voltron-ss! Apologies for the delay, I had trouble figuring out what romantic love is like. Tbh I still don’t entirely get how it feels, but I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: When Keith’s long-time crush leaves a package in his room, Keith’s decision to return it brings more than he bargains for.

Tags: Keith, Lance, Klance, college au, slowburn?

wordcount: 6234 words

Disclaimer - I don’t own these characters, they’re all from Voltron Legendary Defenders, all I own is the situations I cast them into.

It begins with a party.

To be more precise, it begins the morning after the party when Keith wakes up and heads to the kitchen for something to drink. He’s certainly not expecting that his first step into the kitchen would result in something papery crinkling under foot - with a yelp, Keith steps back, hoping against hope that it wasn’t one of Shiro’s books.

Fortunately for Keith, it’s not one of Shiro’s books - it’s a parcel, dressed in Red wrapping paper that’s decorated with cute little reindeer. It’s around the length of half his arm, and when Keith carefully prods it with a finger it’s soft, a barely audible crinkling noise that Keith Recognizes as wrapping tissues. Whatever is inside it is thankfully undamaged by Keith’s wrong foot placement.

Carefully, Keith places the package down on the table, transferring beer bottles and empty cans to the ground. The entire room is a mess now that Keith’s more alert to notice, actually - there’s obvious attempts at tidying up, as evident by a full plastic bag at the corner of the room, but it’s half hearted. There are pillows and books strewn around like the remnants of a pillow fight, and underneath the table is an open bag of chips and, surprisingly, the remaining half of what seems to be a pack of bud. Shiro must have been feeling really bad to leave it undone, but Keith can take care of the rest. Grabbing the pack of chips, Keith flops onto the sofa, hands clasped loosely together in thought as he stares intently at the parcel.

It’s not his. Keith doesn’t remember buying anything that’s covered in Red wrapping paper. It’s also not from his roommate - Shiro would have told Keith of it if it was. But whose parcel could it be then?

Maybe it was one of the guests from last night. Closing his eyes, Keith tries to recall who’d been at the celebration party. The memories appear like a string of bubbles, one after another - Hunk experimenting in the kitchen what beer could fry while they all acted as test eaters, Shiro and Allura and Matt patting themselves on the back for surviving finals, Pidge tipsily mumbling complex equations about space, Lance laughing as he leant against the sofa, cheeks flushed red, One warm arm around a two-glasses-more-than-he -should’ve-drunk Keith and the other on -

-On a red parcel with tiny deer decorations that was the length of Keith’s arm.

Keith’s eyes snaps open. Bingo.

A quick hunt confirms Keith’s suspicions - there’s a post it note containing ‘don’t forget’ in Lance’s handwriting a few feet away the parcel. It must have fallen off when Keith slipped on it. Lance must have forgotten about it while he was heading out with the others. Another quick search results in Keith’s phone - how the hell did it end up under the sofa? Keith’s barely finished sweeping it out from where it lay (alongside a small variety of dust bunnies) before he’s typing in Lance’s number.

“Hello!” Lance says after what feels like forever. Keith’s heart quickens. “This is Lance, if you’re hearing this I’m not capable of using my phone right now so leave a-“

Keith jabs the ‘end dial’ button with slightly more force than necessary. “Oh C’mon!” He yells when he reaches Lance’s voicemail for the third time. One repeat call later and that’s it - With a growl that only reveals the surface of the boiling vat of irritation inside him, Keith grabs the parcel and heads for his room.

Rationally, Keith knows that he can just wait till the next day to hand it over. Too bad that he doesn’t like to owe people things. Besides, Lance would probably accuse him of stealing if he waited too long, like the Bean Snake Incident of last year, and Keith absolutely refuses to go through that again so fuck it, if Lance can’t be reached through the phone, Keith is going to reach him in person. They all go to the same college - it’s how Keith met all of them (minus Shiro), and he can still remember Lance complaining about morning classes yesterday. All Keith has today is a lecture in the afternoon, but that doesn’t mean he can’t go there early to hand Lance his things back and get lunch in the process. That’s all there is to it.

(And if it means seeing Lance smile and getting more time to hang out with his long-term entirely secret crush, well, that was Keith’s secret and nobody else’s.)

Reaching the college is easy, even with a little detour for some coffee. Getting in touch with Lance is, unfortunately, a little more harder.

“What do you mean, he’s not here?” Keith demands. The great stream of bodies that had flowed outside when the clock struck forty-five has dissipated into mere trickles by the time Keith had made it to the lecture hall, and the only person he’s managed to spot is Pidge, with her short stature and large round frames. “It’s his class! He’s supposed to be here!”

“It’s been seven minutes since class ended, Keith.” Pidge says, deadpan. “Lance is long gone. What’d you expect?”

“Ungh.” Keith groans, shoulders slumping in dismay. When he’d set out, he hadn’t exactly thought about what to do in case he missed Lance. “I don’t know, I guess I’d expected to - to run into him or something. Do you know where he is?”

“Well.” Pidge hums thoughtfully. The gaze she directs at Keith is one part amusement, one part analytic and three parts burning curiosity. Keith crosses his arms and tries not to feel like he’s a bug under a microscope. “I might, and I might not. Why’re you looking for him?”

Keith pulls out the red package. “He left this at my house. You remember the Bean Snake Incident in first year?”

“Oh yeah.” Pidge grins. “Aisle three in the supermarket, the pineapple-”

“That wasn’t my fault!” Keith interrupts, cheeks blazing red. “That was Lance! And the pineapple too!”

“Sure.” Pidge’s smirking now, eyes gleaming with amusement behind the glasses she wears. “Suuuure it wasn't your fault. Just like that time in class where everyone had to evacuate because of burning paper aeroplanes."

"That was because-"

"Yeah, I know, I was there." Pidge cuts in, and Keith wonders if Matt would forgive him if he punched his little sister in the shoulder. "But yeah." The smile slips away into a serious look. "Yeah, I understand why you don't want a repeat of last year."

"Exactly!" Oh thank whoever was up there for Pidge to understand so easily. "So will you finally tell me where he is?"

"Hmm." Pidge trails off, hands stroking her chin in thought as she leans against the wall. Keith can see the gears rotate over her head as she thinks - from the look on her face, it's as if she's half curious to see how things play out without her help. One minute passes, then two, and just as Keith is about to - barge off on a hide and seek chase around campus, shake Pidge by the shoulders, pull out the chit of favors she owes him, who knows just anything but standing around and waiting - something flickers across her face. "Alright, I'll help you out. Block fifty-two, level one, room one-oh-two. Hunk asked Lance to come by during free time - that's probably where he'll be. Mind you, I dunno if he's still there, but it's a good place to start."

Keith grins, eyes lighting up. "Thanks, Pidge." He says, turning. The campus map flashes through his mind - block 52 isn’t that far away from where he was right now, he could make it in five minutes if he ran. "See you later!"

"No problemo, lover boy. And eh, I’ll pass." Pidge grins, eyes sparkling with anticipation. "Professor Slav is teaching about parallel universes today, don’t wanna miss it -”

Keith’s jacket was already disappearing around the corner with its owner before Pidge could finish her sentence, heart pounding lance, lance, lance in his ears at a steady rhythm.

The room Pidge directed him to turned out to be a mixture of science laboratory and relaxation room. One side was filled with engineering equipment and what looked like a bunch of half finished work projects, and an open doorway leading to the other side had an empty spot which was furnished with a bunch of chairs and desks. Hunk was at one of those desks, sketching something out on a scrap of paper with a pencil beside a bunch of machine parts Keith didn't know the name of - the screech of surprise Hunk emits when Keith barges into the room almost makes him skid into a table.

"Aaagh IswearI’mnotsle - Oh, it's just you Keith. Jeez." Hunk rested a hand against his heart as Keith pants for breath, hands on knees. "Jeez, you scared the quiznak out of me! Never do that again or I swear no peanut butter cookies for you."

"S-Sorry," Keith wheezed. Oh god, running here had been a mistake. One he was never going to make again. "Just - huff - looking for - pant - Lance. Is he here?"

"Ohhh." Keith's hope wobbles at Hunk’s tone. It crashes into the rocks with the force of a meteor when Hunk shakes his head apologetically. "Sorry dude, he left ages ago. Why're you looking for him?"

"He left this at my apartment." Brushing sweaty hair out of his eyes, Keith reaches into his bag and pulls out the package. "I wanted to give it back because I don’t want last year happening again. Know where Lance went?"

“Last year?” Hunk takes the package before Keith can stop him and lifts it into the air, examining it with a broad grin. “Ohh. You mean the time when you and Lance -”

“Hunk.” Keith’s glare could evaporate water.

“Right, right, sorry.” Hunk says not-so-apologetically, giving the package back. “But yeah, let’s not go through that again. And sorry, man, I dunno where Lance went.” Hunk’s shrug syncs perfectly with the shattering of the remainder of Keith’s hope. “The only reason he came here was because I asked him to help me out with my project. He left ages ago. Sorry.”

It's official - Keith's heart drops through his boots and into the center of the earth. "Great." He groans, collapsing onto a chair. "Just great."

"Hey, hey, it's not that bad." Hunk says sympathetically, patting Keith on the back. “No worries, my dude, we can just call him - oh wait he was complaining about having no battery and forgetting his charger at home, guess that’s out of the question.”

Keith’s head lands on the table with a thunk.

“But!” Hunk continues hastily. “I do know where he is.”

Keith’s butt is already launching out of the chair by the time Hunk finishes the sentence. “Where?”

Hunk beams like an angel. He’s holding a round container now, and he thrusts it towards Keith. “I’ll tell you after you finish drinking this.” The spicy and savory smell that wafts out of the container has Keith salivating like a dog. Inside is an creamy sort of soup, little bits of onions and croutons mixed into it, and Keith has never been hungrier. “You look like you need some hydration - whoa!”

Keith is vaguely aware of Hunk jumping back as he lifts the bowl towards his mouth, but he doesn’t care - it’s lukewarm, almost cold, but the flavors mix together in blissful harmony down his throat and oh god, why hadn’t he realised how dry his throat had been? The container is empty almost before Keith realises, and he places the container down carefully on the table, almost regretful that there hadn’t been more to consume.

“Whoa.” Hunk’s staring wide eye at him as Keith turns to face him, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “Man, I hadn’t realised you needed it that badly - ok, ok, don’t look at me like that, Lance left for the gym on the other side of campus to see if Allura had a charger since I forgot mine too.”

“Got it.” Keith strides across the room. The soup is already doing its work - it rests comfortably in his belly, warming him up and calming him down, and Keith hadn’t realised how hungry and irritated he’d been until then.  At the door, Keith pauses and looks back over his shoulder. “Thanks, buddy.” he says, grinning, and he doesn’t just mean for Lance’s location. Hunk’s food truly is miraculous, right down to the effects on the soul.

Hunk grins and waves back, and Keith has never been more grateful in his life. “No problem, buddy. Good luck finding him!”

Keith tries. Truly, he does.

He reaches the gym in record time. Only the quick reflexes he’d trained in tae-kwan-do saves him from a nasty collision with Allura when he pulls open the door just as she’s about to head out - Lance isn’t there and Allura doesn’t know where he is. Trail gone cold, Keith heads to the dance studio Shiro’s at -

Which isn’t where Lance is either.

Science lab? No Lance to be seen.

The pool? All Keith gets is a story about three dozen roses, a Sasquatch costume and the teacher’s dog, but there’s no Lance to laugh it over with him.

The study halls beside the pool?

“Lance!” The relief that shoots through Keith’s heart at the sight of that familiar green jacket is almost sharp enough to make him double over. A small grin spreading across his face, Keith begins to make his way through the crowd as Lance whirls around. It takes him a few seconds to see Keith. When their eyes meet, Keith’s heart quickens up almost unwillingly, and he gives a small wave.

Keith is expecting a wave back, maybe a small chat, definitely a smile of acknowledgement that he was there. Secretly, he hopes for a light to shine up in Lance’s eyes like how Keith feels whenever they’re laughing with each other instead of engaging in passionate debate.an affectionate tone to his greeting; but Keith is alright with the former.

What he does not expect is for Lance’s eyes to go wide and his face to flush up like an exploding tomato and for Lance to pat his classmate on the shoulder before turn tail and run away.

It’s like seeing an optical illusion in 3D, except it’s happening in the real world. For a moment, Keith’s world goes off beat, a rock in the boat that almost sends him staggering. By the time it uprights itself Lance is out of sight before Keith can even consider yelling.

What the fucking hell.

No matter where Keith goes, he can’t find Lance. It's like trying to find Waldo while Waldo is on the move and the finder wearing an eyepatch and looking through the wrong side of a binocular. With each passing location and no familiar tall lean figure appearing, Keith's heart sinks lower and lower. Desperation and misery swirls through him and hardens into rocks that weigh him down into the sea of despair with each passing step, and it's only through sheer stubborn tenacity that Keith manages to keep himself afloat.

Why was Lance avoiding him? Keith’s been looking everywhere and he still hasn’t found him - was Lance deliberately hiding from him? It has to be something from last night - they’d been buddies until then, but try as he might Keith can’t remember much. Questions swirled around in Keith’s head like woodpeckers carving into Keith’s heart, and try as he might, Keith couldn’t dislodge the nagging doubt that sprouted thorny vines in his heart which squeezed in pain.

And just as always, the misery and desperation slowly transforms into anger. Anger and anxiety that bubbles under Keith’s skin like molten lava with no way out. Gritting his teeth, Keith makes his way through the plaza. It’s on the way to his next destination - the almighty cafeteria, center of chaos and noise, homing beacon to generation upon generation of hungry students, the bane and salvation of Hunk’s domain (Keith still doesn’t know how Hunk managed to strike up a deal with the Drink Vendor Grannies and Sal). It’s his last resort to finding Lance - if Lance isn’t amongst the hundreds of students lounging in the cafeteria, Keith is officially giving up and heading back to the gym to punch his grievances out onto an unfortunate training dummy.

Fortunately for Keith’s heart and the training dummy, Keith spies a familiar tall lean figure exiting the cafeteria.

Keith blinks in disbelief. Then he blinks again. Nope, Lance is still there - wearing his dark green hoodie, talking casually to a girl Keith vaguely recognizes from science class, waving his hands animatedly in the air as he grins brightly as the sun. If Lance is the sun, Keith is the moon - just seeing that cheerful grin causes Keith to be overwhelmed with emotions and two thoughts smal into his head with the force of duo meteor.

One of those thoughts is ‘oh fuck he looks hot smiling like that I want to kiss him.’

The second thought, which is actually more of an afterthought but still extremely prevalent, is ‘I am going to punch that smile off his face. And then kiss him after. But first imma punch him.”

Eyes narrowed in irritation, Keith makes his way over with all the stealth of a ninja - he even crawls behind a bush in case Lance spots him.

Lance doesn’t spot him. Unfortunately, Lance’s classmate does.

“Hey, Lance.” She points at Keith’s direction. “Isn’t that your friend?”

“Oooh, who?” Lance turns with a grin, eyes shining. “Is it Matt? Cause I really need to-”

Lance’s jaw snaps shut when he sees Keith looking up from the floor. Their eyes meet.

Keith can see the instant Lance’s face goes from ‘hello!’ to ‘oh shit its Keith and he’s pissed’ to ‘engage emergency escape program’. Which is why when Lance abruptly turns on his heel to run like the wind, Keith is already scrambling to his feet to chase after him.

“Laaaaance!” Keith runs with the speed and power of a rampaging rhinoceros. Lance might have longer legs but Keith has more stamina, anxious rage pumping a machine gun staccato through his heart and determination fuelling his lungs and legs. “Get back here!”

“No way you’re gonna kill me,” Lance screams back. His leg pumps even faster and somewhere in the back of his mind Keith is appreciating the form of his run and the lines on his back but as the rest of his mind is focused on punching Lance’s face out Keith simply moves faster. “I’m too young to die!”

“I’m not gonna kill you I just-” Two familiar figures in front of them, chatting to one another. Keith’s eyes flashes. “SHIRO!”

Almost in tandem, Shiro and Matt’s heads whirl. It takes them only a moment to register the situation before they’ve spread out like footballers in the final round. Matt sprints the five yard dash, he dives -

- and misses! Lance swerves like a frightened gazelle as Matt bellyflops onto the ground - right into Shiro’s arms.

“Wha-SHIRO NO,” Lance screeches betrayal as he tries to struggle free, but Shiro holds fast. Shiro and his ridiculously solid arm muscles have reigned as the arm wrestling champion for 3 years running before Allura had knocked him off the throne, and they withstand Lance’s wriggling with the ease of a vet holding a cat. “I TRUSTED YOUU,” Lance wails as Keith jogs up to them, wiping sweat out of his eyes.

“This is for the green paint last year,” Shiro says primly as Matt rightens his glasses and asks, like any other sane person would, “Why’re we catching Lance?”

Lance goes limp, clearly giving up on any chance of escaping. “I dunno, he was chasing me so I was running!”

“You don’t know?” Keith growls out breathlessly. His lungs are on fire and his throat is parched dry with smoke, but the answer is like oxygen to the flames of his rage. “What the hell d’you mean you don’t know - You were avoiding me!”

“False accusations, mullet for brains! I was totally not avoiding you I just - just had a uh, a few places to go to cause of Professor Coran-“ Lance pales as Keith draws himself up to his full height, eyes blazing. “Oh god please don’t kill me I swear I’ll keep it a secret-”

“I asked Professor Coran where you were today and he didn’t know you lying s-“

“Alright, calm down.” In situations where tensions run as high as a star in the sky and can turn into a falling meteor of regret and destruction faster than a popped balloon, Shiro’s voice has a particular tone that never fails to send the tension flying back into the stratosphere, and that tone is definitely present now. Lance and Keith immediately fall silent. “What is going on? Keith?”

“I’ve been trying to find Lance all morning.” Keith blurts out. The words rush out of him, water finally freed from its dam and taking the heat of his emotions with it. “I spotted him once but then he just - ran off. For-”

“Wait, secret?” Matt asks just as Lance squawks “That was because,” face blushing red, and even though his heart hurts Keith can’t stop his heart from skipping a beat. People’s heads turn at the noise, eyes going wide before dismissing it as yet another weird part of college life before heading back to their routine, and Lance lowers his voice accordingly. “That was because - just - look.” Lance sighs, scratching his head. “I know you’re mad at me, and I’m sorry. I’ll pretend it never happened and we can continue.”

Keith blinks. The apology is gratifying after all this time, but - something doesn’t feel right. Lance looks resigned like he’s about to get hit by a train and there’s nothing he can do about it, like he’s terrified, and oh shit. It was his temper, wasn’t it, his fucking violent temper messing everything up again. Keith’s heart twinges with guilt - yeah, he’s definitely not punching Lance now, not when he looks like that.

“Ugh,” He forces out, voice painfully stuck in his throat. His arms dangle uselessly at his sides - Keith folds them across his chest and out of the way, not quite looking at Lance’s face. “Look. I’m not mad at you - ok, I am mad at you,” he amends with a scowl at their disbelieving looks, “but not to the point that I want to just. Forget everything that ever happened. It wasn’t even that bad, anyway - I should have tried calling you again.”

(Behind him, Matt turns to Shiro. “Was it just me, or did Lance say secret?”

Tilting Lance to the side so that he can turn his head to the side without mushing Lance’s back against his cheek, Shiro nods. “No, I heard too.” he whispers quietly, directing his eyes away from the redness of Keith’s cheeks. He frowns. “Do you think..?”)

“Nah, that wouldn't have worked, my phone battery’s dead.” Lance waves his hands dismissively. “I forgot my charger and Allura lent hers to Shay. But you really mean it? You’re not mad?”

“Uh.” Keith gulps. Lance doesn’t look like he’s going to cry anymore - his eyes are wide, light falling softly across dark brown eyes that gleam with hope and relief and emotions Keith can’t quite decipher. His lips are slightly curled up, the beginnings of what looks like a smile about to sprout on his face and his cheeks are dusted a dark red for some reason - maybe it was from Shiro squeezing the life out of him. Yep, that's probably it. Keith is only thankful that the sudden wave of affection that’s swamping his heart hasn’t completely taken away his ability to utter words. “Uh. Y-Yeah. Yeah, I’m not mad.”

(“Yeah.” Matt mutters back decisively, grinning. “My bet’s on Lance. Five bucks to the winner?”

“Mine’s on Keith.” Shiro’s eyes glint. “You’re on.”)

“Sweet!” The smile that bursts out on Lance’s face is like seeing a flower sprout, blooming in all its glory. Keith quickly looks away before it blinds him. “Oh thank god,” He says happily as Shiro finally lets his feet touch the ground. “I thought you were going to be so mad that I confessed to you last night-”

What.

Keith freezes. The words echo in his head.

Kissed you last night.

Kissed.

Last Night.

Kissed.

“- thought you forgot because you passed out on me after that but you didn’t, thank god-”

His crush confessed to him and he doesn’t even remember it until said crush brought it up. Inwardly, Keith is screaming, inner world cracking and rebuilding as the words echo in his mind. Why does the world hate him so?

“- so I ran and - hello? Earth to Keith? Dude, anyone there?”

It takes a herculean amount of effort, but Keith finally manages a hoarse, strangled “What.”

“Uh.” Lance blinks at Keith, smile slipping off his face. “What’ as in ‘yeah Lance I’m listening’ what or ‘what the hell is going on’ what?”

Keith’s face is on fire. “What.”

“Oh.” Lance’s face falls. “It’s the latter what, isn’t it? Oh no.”

Behind them, Shiro presses his prosthetic hand over his eyes with a silent groan as Matt raises the green bill in his hand with victory.

“Ok, so let me get this straight. You,” Matt says, pointing a straw at Keith, “Were trying to find Lance because he forgot something at your house after the drinking party and didn’t want things to turn out like the Bean Snake Incident. And you,” He says, straw swivelling over to Lance’s direction, “Thought he was out to turn you down after you confessed to him last night, but he actually didn’t remember and after our lovely little game of Tag you both misunderstood each other epically until Lance confessed again. Right?” Keith nods, still lost for words. They’re in a secluded corner at the student cafe, Matt and Lance on one side with Keith and Shiro on the other. The exits are woefully far away - Keith is under no delusions why such a table was chosen. If any of them wanted to run, they'd have to not only make it past Shiro and Matt, but make it to the doors before the duo caught up. Like it or not, they are having this conversation. Which is, honestly, fine with Keith. A quick pinch to his own wrist has convinced him that he's not dreaming, but he's still not quite sure what's happening. All he knows is that Lance has just confessed to him (to him! Keith internally thanks whoever's up there for a requited crush) and Keith wants to know, well, about everything. If it means remaining in one spot for half an hour while they're eating lunch, Keith is more than willing to do so. Lance, on the other hand, seems less willing. "I still can't believe you betted on us," He's grumbling, leg shaking up and down as he sips his drink restlessly. "Is it revenge for the snowman competition? Because that was totally valid betting, everyone else was doing it!" "It’s not about the snowman competition,” Shiro says calmly over a cup of hot mocha, but it’s a little too innocent to be genuine. “Professor Coran covered for us all in the end anyway. And before you ask, no, this isn’t revenge for the Bean Snake Incident. We’re just worried about you two, that’s all.”

“And what’s in the package?” Matt pipes in. The package Keith had been carrying around all morning was at the center of the table, and Matt pokes curiously at it with a finger. “It must have been a really important present for Keith to run around that much. What’s in it?”

At Matt’s questioning glance, Keith shrugs. “I don’t know.” It has occurred to him to open the package to check it himself, but it felt a lot like losing. “Lance?”

“Ugh, fine.” Lance sighs. “You can open it, Keith. It’s for you, mullethead, so go on, open it already.”

The present was for him? Heart in throat, Keith carefully opens the package.

It’s a scarf. It’s a dark burgundy red, soft wool knitted with a criss cross pattern, and when Keith picks it up it’s soft to the touch. Eyes wide, Keith’s head snaps up, lost for words.

“You remember how you lost your scarf after the Bean Snake Incident?” Lance explains anxiously, scratching the back of his head. “I know you’re still looking for a scarf, so I bought you one. It was my fault after all.” He looks away, cheeks blushing a dark red. “It’s ok if you don’t like it, I know it’s pretty shit, you can just toss it or whatev-“

Lance stops mid-tirade when Keith wraps the scarf around his neck. “Are you kidding? I’m never going to toss this,” he says, affection spreading through him, and he’s not quite sure what expression he has on his face but it’s enough for Lance’s to look like his crops have been watered and they’ve grown a bumper crop of strawberry blushes. “This scarf is perfect, I’m going to wear it until my funeral.”

(Behind them, Matt tilts his head at the two. “You think this is a good time for me to ask what the Bean Snake Incident is?”

Shiro sips his coffee serenely. “Maybe we should wait for them a little more. Or I could tell you while we give them some privacy.”

“I think it’s better if you tell the story,” Matt scoots away from the two with a grin, elbows resting across the table as he leans forward. “There was this mention of paint..?”

“That happens later on.” Shiro leans forward too, grinning conspiratorially as he keeps his voice low. “It begins with…”)

“Are you sure?” Lance asks anxiously. “Because I can get a new one if you don’t like it-“

“The only way you can take this scarf back is over my dead body,” Keith states baldly, but he’s smiling, lips curved up in a slight grin. “This is perfect, Lance, thank you.”

Their eyes meet for a second as Keith glances up. Lance glances away, cheeks reddening, and Keith can feel his cheeks reddening too at the sudden rise of affection and nervousness. Taking a sip of his drink to recenter himself, Keith leans back against the chair, the taste of apples sitting cool on his tongue as he tries to decide how to get to the meat of the conversation - the confession.

He knows that Lance likes him now - how has he never noticed the blushing and lingering gazes before, the way they seek each other out? - and that this is the perfect time to confess, but with Lance sipping at his frappe like he hopes it’ll deter him from any conversation Keith is at a loss on how to approach.

Insides tingling like the butterflies of anxiety are beginning to hatch, Keith takes another sip from his cup in what he hopes is a cool and totally not nervous manner. It takes 8 sips for Keith to give up hope of Lance starting the conversation, and 2 more sips to brace himself to start what is probably going to be the most awkward conversation in his life. Keith's only thankful that Matt and Shiro are too absorbed in their conversation to make it even more awkward. "So." Keith says, clearing his throat. He clutches the edges of the scarf, fingers fidgeting restlessly with the wool. "You uh. You confessed to me last night?"

He's fully prepared for Lance to laugh it off or try to flee, but Lance doesn't do that. Instead, he hunches in on himself, an uncharacteristically serious look spreading on his face as he puts down his drink. "Yeah." Lance says quietly, looking down at his drink. "Yeah, I - I did, ok? Look, it was the alcohol making me talk crazy so you can just.” Lance gives a jerky one shoulder shrug. “Ignore it-“

“No.” Keith puts his drink down and leans forward, eyes staring intensely into Lance’s. Lance freezes. There’s something warm bubbling in Keith’s gut that isn’t the drink, and when Keith says ‘tell me what you said last night,” something in Keith’s voice makes Lance talk instead of clamming up, low and stuttering, face heating up with each word.

“I-I like you, ok? My heart beats faster everytime we talk and it feels like my heart is fluttering and - well, I just." Lance smiles helplessly, almost resigned, and something in Keith’s heart twinges. “I like how passionate you get when you’re debating and how you cross your arms when you’re nervous and how your eyes gleam this weird violet when you turn just right and ok I’m just going to shut up now but yeah I just really like you a lot ahahaha.”

Keith blinks. Something warm spreads in him like warm cacao on a cold winter day, satisfying and spreading heat all the way down to his toes. "Oh." "Oh?" Lance's echo is almost indignant in a way that sounds designed to hide hurt. "Oh?' That's all you have to say? I confessed my heart out to you, man, at least sound a little more impressed before you reject me-" Keith's cup lands on the table with enough force to stop Lance mid-tirade. "Oi," he says fiercely, panic and affection rampaging a whirlpool in the undertone. Rejection?! Nonono Lance is not going to pull that crap on him, not if he can help it, "Who said I was going to reject you, you beanpole?! I like you too!" It takes him a few seconds to realise what he said. The second he does, Keith’s face immediately lights up with the red of a blazing bonfire. He almost tries to take back his words, burning them into illegible ashes blown away by the wind, but Lance - his face is light up with every source of emotion; eyes gleaming like he doesn’t quite believe its reality, and so Keith slouches back into his chair and turns his head away instead, willing his blush to settle back down.

“Really?” Lance finally asks, as if he’s not quite sure that what Keith said is true. A quick glance out of the corner of Keith’s eyes reveals a fragile unsure happiness, glass that’s halfway cracked. “Do you mean you like me as a friend, or that you - you love me?”

“I-I.” Keith takes a gulp of his drink for fortitude, scarf gripped in his fingers like it’s a rock of stability. This is not how he imagined his love confession to play out, but Keith is perfectly willing to do this if it means Lance will believe that his crush is reciprocated. “I. I like you. Ok?” He shoots the words out like bullets, aggressive and unstopping despite the embarrassment flushing his entire face red. “I love your laughter, the way your hands move when you’re talking, how excited you get when you come across the latest game and how you talk to people so easily.” Keith smile is gentle, his heart finally free as he pours all the emotions that he’s bottled out into words. “I’ve liked you ever since you gave me a concussion during open house. I love you, Lance, and if it’s ok with you, I want to spend the rest of our days together.”

Silence. Keith’s entire body is on fire, static crackling restlessly through his bones, but he waits. Lance is looking at him like he’s never seen him before, mouth agape, eyes wide like Keith is stardust shining in space, and Keith wants to shrink away from that gaze but instead he stands tall and meets it with a look of his own, honest and full of the love he feels.

Lance’s smile is radiant, burning bright, blinding light that outshines the sun. “Can I kiss you?”

Keith’s reply is immediate and heartfelt. “Oh god yes.” The words are barely out of Keith’s mouth before Lance is leaning over the table. Lance’s lips feels soft, smooth with what feels like lip balm, and even though the kiss is short and chaste it sparks what can only be called an electrical outage of emotions in Keith’s mind; heat radiating contentedly from the whirlpool of love in his heart as he commits it to memory.

They’ve just barely pulled away when they hear a familiar click. Keith almost gets whiplash from his fast his head turns - Matt is beaming like a monkey with his phone out in front of him. “Pidge and Hunk are going to be so pleased,” He cackles gleefully.

“Matt!” Keith’s about to lunge for the phone when Lance laughs, while and heartfelt.

“Let him,” Lance says happily, and Keith’s heart skips a beat as Lance’s hand clasps his own, fingers intertwining. “They can’t handle the amount of love that we have, they’re gonna regret how lovey-dovey we can get!”

Shiro wipes an imaginary tear from his eye. “Ah, they grow up so fast,” he says mockingly, but he’s beaming like a proud parent, and his next words are sincere. “Congratulations, Keith, Lance.”

“Shiro.” Keith looks away, cheeks tinted red, but he grins and lifts Lance’s hand in his own like they’re champions. “You’re right, Lance,” Keith’s grin is almost devilish. “Let’s make them regret ever asking for photos.”

With his friends supporting him, Lance by his side, beaming and happy and love reciprocated, there is nothing that can bring Keith down.

(Naturally, the pictures are deleted after the congratulations and betting money have been passed around, but Keith keeps two - a picture of him and Lance holding hands, beaming their love at each other, and the picture of Keith surprise kissing Lance on the cheek in his phone.)

[akidinparis]

eliza’s guide to paris!

before i do a lil wrap-up post & reflect on my time abroad, i wanted to put together a little guide of my favorite places! i know some people going to paris in the coming semesters for studies or just for kicks, & if this can give you a bit of a boost going into a new city, i’d love that! plus, i tend to trust recommendations from people who have actually lived in the city for a while (shameless self-plug)

bakeries:

maison thevenin: okay this is my favorite bakery in the city. it’s right at the top of rue daguerre (for all of you going on the ies paris french studies program) & it’s both freakin adorable & heckin delicious. their croissants amandes are to DIE for, but their regular croissants au beurre are incredible as well. i also like their chaussons aux pommes (pastries filled with apples).

maison lohézic: my other favorite bakery! it’s in the 17è arrondissement, so it’s a little off the beaten path (not in the touristy parts of the city), but their baguettes are the best in the city (in my opinion) & they also have amazing croissants! they also have a whole bar of fancy desserts that are more expensive but also beautiful! my favorite one that i tried was an opéra (a dessert made of layers & layers of chocolate. i think. not totally sure tbh). 

du pain et des idées: iconic parisien boulangerie. a little overrated, in my opinion (i try to stay away from bakeries with more than one location) but they have good baguettes & their croissants were pretty good! (can u tell what i normally buy from bakeries bc it’s croissants)

restaurants:

bistrot victoires: a quintessential french bistrot, right in the middle of the 1è arrondissement. a classmate recommended this to me & i brought stephen & tara there & then the rest of my family! reasonably priced, really nice servers (a rarity), & their daily specials are always excellent. good desserts & wine too! they also sat my entire family (six people) in their tiny little space. so nice of them. 10/10. (photo creds to macaela)

pho 13: i went to this pho spot with tara & stephen when they visited & it was super good! fairly inexpensive & generous portions. really really good spring rolls too. they only take cash, so come prepared!

holybelly: a bougie & super popular brunch spot, but their savory stack (pancakes with eggs & bacon on top) is incredible. i have it on good knowledge that their hash browns & black rice porridge are also very tasty. also, super good coffee. yum.

study spots:

anticafé: i think i went here with various friends at least half of the weekends i was in paris. coffee shops in paris are different than american coffee shops, in the sense that you can’t really bring your computer to do work. cafés there are for socializing & eating, not working. enter co-working spaces! you pay an hourly rate (usually somewhere around €5 an hour) & you get access to the wifi, the snack bar, & all the coffee you could want. anticafé beaubourg was our favorite, but unicorners café near the arts et métiers metro stop is also good.

café lomi: one of the few american-style coffee shops i found! it’s in a weird neighborhood (not the prettiest in the city) but their coffee is stupid good & the vibes in the actual coffee shop are so so good. it’s not too too far from the paris iv campus, which makes it convenient for students studying in that center. also lots of dogs come in. bonus. 

craft coffee: another co-working space! right off of the canal saint-martin (one of the hippest spots in the city) & while it’s not total free access to coffee (one drink per hour) the quality of the latte i got made up for it. delicious. & really good wifi & lots of seats. 

miscellaneous: 

picard: for all you students out there! picard saved my butt! it’s expensive to buy groceries & it’s expensive to eat out, which presents A Dilemma. my host mom recommended this place to me! it’s basically a frozen food store, so you can get all kinds of frozen veggies & meat & desserts & stuff, but the real star are the frozen dinners. listen, i know frozen dinners have a terrible reputation, but that’s because american frozen meals are CRAP. i ended up really liking the stuff i got from picard! i’m mad the french even do frozen food well. literally each meal is like, €2 each & you throw it in the microwave for five or six minutes, & then it’s ready. the ingredients are pretty good quality too. i liked the chicken teriyaki & the salmon with veggie & potato purée the most! 

monoprix: an obvious one, but it’s really like the french version of target. grocery store, drugstore, & clothing store all in one. literally you can pick up anything you need here. & they have squeeze-your-own orange juice machines! WHAT. 

marché aux puces de saint-ouen: a giant flea-slash-antique market on the northern side of paris. there’s a bajillion little stalls with all kinds of stuff, from furniture to paintings to old newspapers. it’s pretty cool to go wander around! you have to walk past another market full of knock-off designer stuff to get to the good stuff. i didn’t buy anything, but it’s still really cool to go explore. 

honor: a SUPER RAD outdoor coffee shop! the baristas were super nice & i had the best, strongest espresso of my entire life. i can also vouch for their food; it’s super super good! i mean, dude, they gave me ESPRESSO BUTTER for my banana bread??? amazing.

unity factory: one for the gym rats. you can’t join a gym in paris unless you have something called an RIB (don’t ask me what it stands for i forget) which you can’t get unless you have a french bank account. if you have one/are opening one, congrats! no problemo. for those of us who didn’t do that & don’t want to (me), unity factory gym in the 14è arrondissement will accept payment from american bank accounts if you say you’re an american student! it worked for me & a few others, but it’s not a guarantee, but it’s definitely worth looking into! it’s small, but fairly-well equipped, & pretty reasonably-priced. 

jardins des serres d’auteuil: this botanical garden is SO RAD. a little far away from everything, but so worth the trip. it has a bunch of different greenhouses with different plants (the big tropical one is the best) & it’s a great place to go spend an afternoon! 

salon de bulles: this is a tiny little comic book shop that i found on rue daguerre (not sure if there are more throughout the city) but in addition to comics, they have a bunch of french-authored illustrated books! it’s so cool. i spent a whole afternoon browsing. 

le petit palais: paris has so many museums. like, so many. & obviously musée d’orsay & the louvre are iconic & must-sees, but my favorite museum was le petit palais! it’s small enough that i didn’t get bored, & there’s a really cool little garden on the inside. the building itself is awesome & the ceilings are painted beautifully. really really cool museum that you could go through in an hour or so. 

wild & the moon: a bougie, mostly-raw-food lil place. they press their own juices & while it’s a lil on the pricier side, they’re all really good! i didn’t try the food there, but from what i saw, it looked freakin delicious. also lots of plants & stuff on the inside! not an everyday sort of place, but it’s pretty cool nonetheless. 

[allcheatscodes]

grand theft auto iv xbox 360

http://allcheatscodes.com/grand-theft-auto-iv-xbox-360/

grand theft auto iv xbox 360

GTA 4 cheats & more for Xbox 360 (X360)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Achievements

Get the updated and latest Grand Theft Auto IV cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, achievements, guides, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for Xbox 360 (X360). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the Xbox 360 cheats we have available for Grand Theft Auto IV.

Check PC cheats for this game

Check PlayStation 3 cheats for this game

Official Title: Grand Theft Auto IV

Also Known As: Grand Theft Auto 4, GTA 4 and GTA IV

Genre: Action, Third-Person 3D Action

Developer: Rockstar

Publisher: Rockstar Games

ESRB Rating: Mature

Release Date: April 28, 2008

Hints

Ton Of Money

If you happen to be driving around and see a truck that looks like a bank truck, steal it. There are two cool things about this truck, first you cannot gain stars. Hit police cars, run over people, skip a toll booth and you will not gain any stars. Second is find a quite place and blow it up, money goes flying everywhere. Be careful not to get too close though because you WILL burn, and if you don’t move fast around the time the fire goes out the money disapears.

Get Some Action

Drive around and find a hooker. Honk your horn at them and wait until they enter your vehicle, then drive somewhere and you will begin receiving head and she will get on top of you. All you have to do is drive around.

Annihilator Helicopter Location

There is an Annihilator helicopter landed on Francis International Airport in Dukes. When you enter the airport, go all the way to the north-west side, the helicopter is there most of the time, not always though. Make sure you get there quickly, since you’ll get an instant 4-star wanted level once you enter the airport.

Letter Codes

For some who don’t want to look on a phone, and since some tv’s have bad graphics and you can’t see the letters, well here they are.

A, B, C=2 D, E, F=3 G, H, I=4 J, K, L=5 M, N, O=6 P, Q, R, S=7T, U, V=8 W, X, Y, Z=9.

Fix Motor On Your Car

On your phone dial 911 and your motor will be fixed, also you can call the cops, hospital, and fire department.

GTA 4 Weapons Guide

Pistols:Glock 17 PistolDesert Eagle Combat PistolSMGs:Micro Uzi (Micro SMG)SW MP-10 SMGShotguns:Winchester 1300 Pump ShotgunBeretta 1201 Combat ShotgunAssault Rifles:AK-47 Assault RifleM4 Carbine RifleSniper Rifles:PSG-1 Combat SniperM40A1 Sniper RifleRocket Launcher:RPGExplosives:MolotovMk2 GrenadeClose Range:Baseball BatKnife

Dwayne’s Speacial Ablity

When you hang out with dywane alot he can give you backup on missions and stuff.

How To Rob Money From A Store

Go to a store and check that it have a cash register if it didin’t worked go to a internet and go where they put the food. After that get in it and you will see a cash register and it will tell to open it.

Ghost Hospital

When you die the hospital you can go in to go there. Then go to the hall ways, there shold be 2 girders in front of a window. Throw a gernaid until it moves away from the window, then you should be able to jump into the the thing bloking the window. Then go to your left ther should be a door opened go throw that and walk around if you want out you go to a light that apears some were HAVE FUN!

One Man Army Tip

The Achievement ‘One Man Army’ is a difficult one, requiring you to survive 5 minutes in hell (6-star wanted level). This is almost impossible to do by getaway, may it be with a car, a boat or a helicopter. The easiest way to do this is, yes, on foot. First, get a 6-star wanted level, then head into the subway station, into the tunnels. The police won’t follow you into the tunnels. Once you’re far between two metro stations, just stay there for five minutes and the achievement should pop up. (Now you could cheat to get rid of your 6-star wanted level, or you could become the best GTA IV player ever and try to get rid of it the hard way! ).

Multiplayer How To

Video Review

Get Fire Trucks Galore

To get lots of fire trucks, go to the hookers strip club and into the parking lot. Then turn around exit to the left. Take the last right before the end of the road. After that to the left there will be a fire station. Go in and you will see fire trucks galore.

The Heart Of Liberty City

First, you’ll have to have access to Happiness Island. Once you’re able to go there legally, find the Helicopter Tours (which is directly east of Happiness Island) and steal a helicopter. Fly to Happiness Island and over the Statue of Liberty, then jump out of the helicopter at the statue’s feet. You should land on the topmost tier of the statue, which is basically a square platform with a door in the center of each side. Run around the platform until you see a door with a plaque on either side of it that reads, “No Hidden Content Here.” It may seem like you cannot go through the door, but you can– it doesn’t open, you simply walk THROUGH the door. Inside, you’ll find an empty room with a tall ladder. Climb it, and when you reach the top, look up; there is a gigantic beating heart, held in place by chains.

FBI Most Wanted

To get an achievement for 6 stars wanted level go to ocean find a turbo boat and make sure you have a life jacket and ride the boat around a blocked island and get 3 stars after shoot at some boats until you get 6 stars after try to survive for at least five minutes and after try to loose your wanted level trust me your going to have to be slick.

Safehouse & Outfit

In the mission where you have to kill either Dwayne or Playboy X, killing Dwayne will give you no benefits, while killing Playboy X gives you his penthouse as a safehouse, as well as a hidden easter egg: the clothes that Clyde wears in GTA III.

Easy Money

Go to an ATM, then cause a traffic jam to the area. Wait for someone to take money from the ATM, then kill him or her. Make sure to block any nearby roads so the ambulance cannot get to the murdered victim. Take the money they dropped on the ground. Then, run a short distance away, and go back. The money should have respawned on the ground. You can repeat this as many times as desired. You can also kill more people taking their money from the ATM to increase the amount of money that respawns.

Phone Numbers

Dial one of the following numbers on Niko’s cell phone to call the indicated business or person:

Businesses

Bean Machine Coffee: 555-0110Emergency Services: Dial "911" to summon the police, fire department, or an ambulance. Express Car Service: 555-2222Express Car Service: 555-3333Fire Proof Doors: 555-5700Hero Shop: 555-8575LCPD Recruitment: 555-RECRUITLiberty Construction: 555-1274-73No Problemo Bail Bonds: 555-945-733-92Storage: 555-221-3877Superb Deli: 555-4674The Serrated Edge: 1-800-555-5555Used Auto Parts: 555-7300Vinewood Laundromat: 555-5123Zit Song Identifier: Dial "948-555-0100" if you hear a song you like on the radio, dial this number to get a text message with the name and artist of the song.

People

Blackmailer from “Call And Collect” mission: 843-555-0124

Drug dealer from “Lure” mission: 545-555-1022

Roman Bellic: 718-926-7215

How To Make Two Girls Fight

This how to make two girls fight. You have to be in any car and if you are driving around and you see two girls in a car, pull up and hit the driver side door and block it so the driver can’t get out that door. Once the driver gets out the passenger door, she will start hitting the passenger and the passenger will hit back. The cops however wiil NOT come arrest tthem because police are lazy in the game. It only lasts for a few minutes because eventually they will get hurt and tired and they will walk away in pain.

Keeping The Engine Running

While in a vehicle, quickly tapping the Y button will cause the engine to keep running while you head off to do something on foot. This way, you won’t have to start the engine again if you’re in a hurry. If you’ve done this correctly, you will still hear the radio station playing inside the car.

Pump Shotgun

First, unlock bohan then go to strip club. Go in and when you do look to the left and there will be a door. Go inside and there will be a pump shotgun.

Alarmed Car

If you see a car that you really like then take it but wait what if the cops come? After you activate the car alarm run away as fast and as far as you can crouch down and get your gun ready just in case then wait until you can’t hear the car alarm any more and take the car.

Perform a Great Stunt

Go the the International Airport and get anairplane (this stunt requires 2 people) and get ahelicopter. When you do bring a fast car over tothe southern or northern end (it doesn’t matterbut the south end is closer). Find the 2 yellowsmall signs that have a small path between them. Take the airplane and carefully place it in thecenter of the pathway staying on the pathstraight. When ready have the other player driveat a high speed and ramp the yellow signs. If youhit the propellers then you will be flying!

Free Taxi

This trick requires patience because you need to sit through most of the cab ride. It also requires a pistol, or smg. When you are close enough that you don’t mind running or walking to the destination break the window as you would if you were driving a car and shoot your pistol or smg. The cab driver will be scared and run out of his cab not costing you any money. Don’t try this with a grenade because it will blow up before you have time to run away.

Easy Health

If you are running low on health get in anAmbulance and your health will be restored.

Repairing The Engine

If the vehicle you are driving breaks down and the engine will not start, call 911, and your engine should start again.

How To Find Sultan RS In Alderny

This is how to find the Sultan RS racecar. If you have completed the stroy or already passed the mission “To Live and Die In Alderny” and you know where the old mansion is in Alderny then you should be able to get it. Go to the old mansion and there should be another building next to it. Go behind that building and it should be there and partially covered by weeds.

If You Need To Refresh Your Health . . .

If you need to refresh your health, take a boat or helicopter over to Happiness Island and the corner in the very front of the statue, there is a thing of armour and if your health meter isn’t full after that, then go downstairs and there are soda machines and you can buy and drink soda and should fill up your health meter. If you need grnades, go out the entrance door to the left you will find three grenades. If you need a gun, press start look on the map of Happiness Island and on the end of the western dock in the little cop office will be a Micro Uzi you can pick up.

Helicopters No More During Wanted

When you have your wanted level up and the helicopters are after you, get to a high point near a body of water. Shoot the pilot of the helicopter so the chopper goes down, if the helicopter falls into the water the icon on your map of a helicopter will not go away as long as you stay in the area. Only two helicopters will spawn at a time so if you shoot them both into the water no more will spawn. NOTE: This is also possible on land, however it is much more difficult because the helicopters will most of the time blow up when hitting the ground. Sometimes though, it is possible.

Free Internet Access

In your safehouse in Algonquin, there is a laptop on the bar for you to use. You finally don’t have to pay 1$ for it anymore!

Soda Is Good For You

If you find a soda machine and you are a bit low on health, buy a soda using the LB button. You should get some of your health back. A can of soda only costs $1.

Police Cruiser Location

If you are looking for an unguarded cop car, there’s usually one parked on Mohawk Ave in Hove Beach.

Start A Stalled Car

If your car stalls, go to Nico’s phone and dial any number (while in the car). It doesn’t have to be a real number. Then call and hit the gas while it’s calling and it starts every time.

Free T-Shirt

Go to Happiness Island once you’ve unlocked it. Goto the Statue of Happiness entrance and go up thestairs. When you get up there there should be agood amount of people there. Go to your left orright. Once you’ve done that go up the stairs.keep going up all of the stairs till you reach thetop. Go around until you see something on theground glowing red. Go up to it and pick it up.After that you should be wearing a HappinessIsland T-Shirt.

Grenades

In Meadows Park on the center of the GlobeFountain there are 3 grenades.

Repair Without A Cheat

When you are in a game and your car breaks dow what to do is go on the phone and call anybody on your contacts then immediately hang up. Your car will still have black smoke but it will start back up again.

How To Stay In The Back Of A Taxi Car

First dial this number cop-555-0150. That gives you a wanted level. Then hold Y to get in the back of a cab car. The cab driver should run out. There you go! The wanted level will not go away.

Get A Helicopter

Find a taxi and get in as a passenger. Find and Select Helitour. When the taxi stops turn Niko around and you’ll see a building. Go behind it and you’ll see helicopters. Go up to one and shoot the driver. Get in the helicopter and there you go. ENJOY!

How To Finish A Mission Quick And Stay Alive

Somtimes this works so go with it. On every mission if you have the (HEALTH&WEAPONS) cheatcode get the shotgun begin to soot every enemy you see till the enemy wave is over sometimes on missions enemies have you in a sticky stuation. All you have to do is get run as fast as you can to a safe place turn on your phone and go to cheats and pick the (HEALTH&WEAPONS) cheat. It will heal you up and give extra ammo for help. Thats why I said pick the health&weapons cheat to give extra ammo and heal you up at the same time. Now this is in order if you have to kill a person or a buisness.

Get Your Statistics Up

Idea 1:First get a RPG out, and go find a cop car and shoot a rocket at it. You should have at least 2 to 3 Wanted Stars shown. Next sprint to a safe alleyway. The cops should be at by you now. Then start shooting at the cars and helicopters. Next RUN (NOT sprint), and go to your phone and go to Cheats (if you have them). Now select Heath and Weapons and Wanted Level Down. Idea 2: First go to Playboy X’s Mansion that you now own. Go to the balcony and pull out a sniper. Now start shooting at the civilians and cops. Finally get your phone out, and go to Cheats and select Wanted Level Down.

Easy 6-star Wanted Level

When you first play the game, you sart off in Hove Beach. After the mission when you take roman to the hardware store, He gives you his old phone. Use this phone because you can’t use the other phone. Either diel 486-555-0150 witch gives you just a Knife, Glock, Pump shotgun, micro uzi, ak-47, berrit, rpg, and moltoves or you could diel 482-555-0100 and body armor, a desert eagle, auto shotgun, ump-15, m4a1, barret, rpg and gernades, however if you diel the second number, it blocks an achivment called “clean the mean streets”. Now go to a subway station and fallow the tracks till you go into a tunnel (It should take while unless you spawn a car. The number for a comet (Porsche) is 227-555-0175. ) After you go in the tunnel, drive until you get a 6-star wanted level. Last at nleast 5 minites just waiting in the 6-star wanted level, and you should get an achivment.

Instant Wanted Removal

Whenever you walk through an arrow that triggers a mission while the cops are looking for you, your wanted-level will be cleared completely.

Under The Radar Tip

The ‘Under The Radar’ achievement is unlocked by flying your helicopter under all main bridges in Liberty City. The easiest way to unlock this achievement is to steal a Maverick helicopter from the helitours, since they’re the smallest type of helicopter. Once you’ve flown under a bridge, trophy items should appear on your map. Pause the game, and place a waypoint on any trophy icon that’s left. This should make finding those bridges easy.

Free Health

If you are getting low on health, call 911 and call the paramedics. When the ambulance gets there, hijack it! You should get more health. Repeat if necessary.

Taxi Refund

After a taxi takes you to your destination. Steal the taxi and run the driver over or get back out of the taxi and beat or shoot him down. You sould get your money back. And sometimes more than what you paid.

Free Tollbooth

If you have a police car you don’t have to stop and pay the 5$ dollar toll. You can just drive right through them and you will not get a wanted level.

2 Strippers

All you have to do is, go to a strip club and finda girl to have a private dance with. Then when sheis done with her first dance don’t leave but getanother dance. After that get another dance butanother stripper will walk in and start dancingwith the other girl together.

Loose Your Wanted Level

First of all you must have the ability to travel to Algonquin legally. Log onto the dating site and find a girl named LAWCHICK. And date her for a while and soon you can call her to clear your wanted level only ounce per day though.

Baseball Bat & Shotgun

There is a baseball bat in the alley across from your first apartment, in the grass. You can find the shotgun in the “Fun Fair” mini car racing track near the building, it’s right across from your crib off the boardwalk on Firefly Island.

Fixing Your Ride

If you already have the heath cheat and your car, boat, helicopter, etc. is damaged you can use it while in your vehicle and it with be fixed.

Cheats

Spawn Police Chopper

FLY-555-0100

Charger

CAR-555-0100

Health And Weapons

GTA-555-0100

New Car

Car-555-0100

Motorbike

At the phone, type mbk-555-0100.

Weapons Pack #1

Enter 4865550100 on Niko’s phone. It should giveyou weapons including Baseball Bat, Handgun,Shotgun, MP-10, M4, Sniper Rifle, RPG, Grenades.WARNING: Some of these cheats may preventachievements. It is recommended that you do notsave your game after using these cheats. Pleaseuse them at your own risk.

Weapons Pack #2

Enter 4865550150 on Niko’s phone. It should give youweapons including Knife, Molotovs, Handgun,Shotgun, Uzi, AK47, Sniper Rifle, RPG. WARNING: Some of these cheats may preventachievements. It is recommended that you do notsave your game after using these cheats. Pleaseuse them at your own risk.

Video Cheats (part 1)

Weapons

GUN-555-0150

Spawn Turismo

CAR-555-0147

Spawn Annihilator

Spawn an Annihilator in front of Niko. 3595550100

Advanced Weapons

GUN-555-0100

Remove Wanted Level

Dial “2675550100” into the cell phone. Note: This phone number translates to “COP-555-0100”. This code prevents the “One Man Army” and “Walk Free” achievements from being earned.

Spawn SuperGT

CAR-555-0168

Full Health

Dial 3625550100 into Nikos cellphone cheat codes disable achievements

Map Locations

Enter “www.whattheydonotwantyoutoknow.com” into the in-game computers.

Spawn Jetmax (Boat)

WET-555-0100

Spawn Comet

Dial “2275550175” into the cell phone. Note: This phone number translates to “CAR-555-0175”.

Change Weather And Brightness

Dial “4685550100” into the cell phone. Note: This phone number translates to “HOT-555-0100”.

Spawn FBI Buffalo

Dial “2275550100” into the cell phone. Note: This phone number translates to “CAR-555-0100”.

Spawn Cognoscenti

Dial “2275550142” into the cell phone. Note: This phone number translates to “CAR-555-0142”.

Wanted Level Up

Call on your phone cop-555-0150 and you will get one star and you can keep doing it till you have 6 stars.

Repairing Your Car Free

When your vehicle is damages instead of going to Pay’N Spray Press Up on the 360 controller go to cheats or dial this Number: GTA-555-0100

Increase Wanted Level

Dial CAR-555-0150 on Niko’s cell phone.

Morning

To make the game be early in the morning type in your phone 468-555-0100

Spawn A Sanchez

Enter MBK-555-0150 on the phone.

Spawn NRG900

MBK-555-0100

Armour

Enter 3625550100 on Niko’s phone. It should giveNiko armour.WARNING: Some of these cheats may preventachievements. It is recommended that you do notsave your game after using these cheats. Pleaseuse them at your own risk.

How To Completely Fix A Car

If your ride is broken or if you are delivering cars for Brucie or Stevie and the car is damaged, just pull out Niko’s cellphone and punch in the cheat code for full health and armour which is 482-555-0100. When you use it, it will not only give you full health and armour, the car you are driving will be completely repaired. Although the cheat will block the achievement “Cleaned the Mean Streets”.

HOT (weather Changer)

Enter HOT-555-0100.

this changes the weather and the lighting in the game.

To activate the cheats use niko’s sell (hit the D-pad up two times) then enter the nummbers.

Song Information

At any time during the game, pull out Niko’s phone and dial 948-555-0100.

Health

Enter 4825550100 on Niko’s phone during gameplay.It should restore Niko’s health.WARNING: Some of these cheats may preventachievements. It is recommended that you do notsave your game after using these cheats. Pleaseuse them at your own risk.

How To Get Dirt Bike

Pull up your phone and press the d-pad up to type in the code:625-555-0150.

Unlockables

Assassin’s Greed

Complete all nine assassin missions.

Annihilator Helicopter

Kill all 200 Flying Rats

Remove Ammo Limit

Get 100% for game progress.

Easy Wheelie Rider Achievement

First go to Meadows Park where The Giant gloge is.You spawn or steal a motorcycle (nrg 900) and drive it into the water. Hold the Gas and just drive around in the water. You should have a steady wheelie going without holding down on the Left stick.

A lot Of Infernus

If you got a infernus and you are on bohan, Go with your infernus to Algonquin give him a spray that you like and then go back to bohan on the end of the brigde go right and you see there sometome’s alot of infernus 😉

Wheelie Rider 30G

Do a wheelie lasting at least 500 feet on a motorbike.

Finish Him 15G

Complete 10 melee counters in 4 minutes.

King Of QUB3D 15G

Beat the High Score in QUB3D.

Off The Boat 5G

Complete the first mission.

Rastah Color Huntley SUV

Complete 10 Package Delivery missions.

Off The Boat

Complete the first mission. GS 5

Easy Wheelie Rider Achievement 2

While riding a bike, go to the broker bridge and do a wheelie at least halfwayacross the bridge. To earn the achievement, you’ll need to land it withoutcrashing into anything.

Fed The Fish

Complete the mission “Uncle Vlad”.

Rolled Over 30G

Do 5 car rolls in a row from one crash.

Driving Mr. Bellic 10G

Unlock the special ability of taxi.

Gobble Gobble 10G

Score 3 strikes in a row, a turkey, in 10-pin bowling.

Genetically Superior 25G

Come first in 20 single player street races.

Pool Shark 10G

Beat a friend at pool.

One Hundred And Eighty 10G

In a darts game score 180 with 3 darts.

Lowest Point

Complete mission “Roman’s Sorrow”. GS 5

Easter eggs

Statue Of Hapiness Easter Egg

First, you have to get a helicopter and fly to Happiness Island (or you can get a lift from Brucie). Then, land on the very top of the statue and you should find a sign that says “no hidden content beyond this point” (which is a complete lie). Then if you can get inside the statue from there, you will find nothing but an actual beating heart, with nothing else around it. It’s sick but then again it’s cool!

Glitches

The Water / Air Port Glitches

The Water- when you get a chopper (need a shoot first), then were the alien water easter egg is jump out of the chopper aim for the alien head, and before you hit the water (must be at lest 5ft above water) pull you’r shoot then you glich under the water. It takes a wile.

Air Port pt. 1- (must be on multi player) get in a four set car then go to the plaines that are moveing get in frount of the weel’s and you glich under ground (don’t get out or you come back up).

Air Port pt. 2- go to the air port go to the back of the main station then pull you’r fist out and jump in the thing that looks like a ramp beside the station, then keep jummping and you get inside of it. HAVE FUN!

Playground Glitch

Go to South Slopes. Then there should be a playground. Now, get a car or a motorcycle (i would prefer a car). Bump into the swings. Keep accelerating. Then, you should be flying away.

1000 Bodies In The Water Glitch

Go to the river between the 1st and 2nd city find a lot of people a just kill and kill and kill it may take an hour or so but keep killing and making the bodies go it the river after youve killed tons of people you will just be swimming/driving a boat in dead bodies.

Guides

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Achievements

Currently we have no achievements or trophies for Grand Theft Auto IV yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.