#( at least in my opinion. and like i said. it's probably to maintain the censorship of his language )
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HEADCANONS - BOOTHILL & ACCESSIBLE TECHNOLOGY
this is one i've been meaning to write up for so long - it probably seems like a fairly minor topic, but it actually affects quite a lot of his environment, so at long last, let's get to it-
boothill cannot operate anything that relies upon a touch screen. similar to the way it can be difficult to use a smartphone whilst wearing gloves, the screens simply do not register his fingertips as touch - due to the material they're made from. the fact that all of his in-game text messages are labelled as "voice message converted to text" lends weight to this - and whilst i'm sure this is so they can continue to censor his language, i like to think there's been some more thought behind it than that. because, realistically, he wouldn't be able to text - at least, not without modifications to touch screen technology. (hsr could easily have this, but that's a topic i'm not diving into-)
his phone is, therefore, operated entirely by voice and/or gesture-driven commands (such as hand or eye tracking). the same is true of the computer systems within his ship - anything that isn't operated by physical buttons, levers or cranks has technology installed to allow him to engage systems using voice commands or eye tracking. the fact that his eyes themselves have been modified as part of his transformation plays a little into this, as his own systems can 'lock in' to that of his ship for certain operations.
most of these adjustments are things he has had to tweak himself - the technology itself already exists, but he doesn't want just anyone to be able to operate his ship (or his phone) if they somehow know or discover the commands. things like retina scans or voice recognition have been programmed into the computer systems as security - but he can, if required, temporarily disable them should he trust someone enough to take over the control of his ship (or to access his phone).
and some of these commands are silent ones - as touched on earlier, he can 'connect' to the computer system to operate certain functions - either through the eye-tracking interfaces, or through a literal connection between his body and the computer. this particular method was developed in order for him to use unfamiliar terminals he would otherwise struggle to operate. to that extent, he has a degree of hacking knowledge so he can bypass security systems to allow him to 'wire in', so to speak.
finally - and if i ever get around to talking more in depth about his ship, i'll expand on this a little - because of his needs, a lot of the technology within his ship has the appearance of being patched together because he's wired in old, clunky keyboards or older models of now outdated equipment in order to make everything more accessible.
#( personals DNI )#;it ain't a name meant for the living (headcanons; boothill)#( but lauri didn't you say his body has imitation nerves and can 'feel' things )#( yes i did - but i can feel things through gloves & still struggle to use a touch screen. same concept )#( also i feel like he'd definitely be made from a non-conductive metal which affects the use of touch screens )#( and listen )#( there are many arguments to be made against this particular hc but the fact he uses a voice-to-text system for his phone says it all )#( at least in my opinion. and like i said. it's probably to maintain the censorship of his language )#( but it also just. *makes sense* )#( me reading up on the workings of touch screens just for a silly little hc? you bet )
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A Post I should Have Made A Long Time Ago
Hello Spine and anyone who may be reading this at the moment. My name is Jerry, but most people know me as Gallowsfall. I am also well known - regrettably - for who I used to be: Burzgrim Blacksnarl/Gulghash back when I was associated with a group of habitual trolls/nazi shitlords in two guilds ran by the ringleader, Grom/Obombration/Scorching/Mooncakes/whatever he goes by now - and YES we are two completely different people. These guilds were called <Demagogue> and <Clergy of the Great One>, they were a small group of nationalists/fascists/trolls that enjoyed causing great amounts of harm and turmoil in the WoW RP community. I fully accept and HATE who I was at this time and all the fucking AWFUL things I did to so many people that I’ll never really remember or be able to properly apologize to or make it right again. Some of you I have met, we have reconciled and moved on. Some of you that I have met did not find comfort or reconciliation in confronting me or hearing my apologies - often because of the fact I can’t remember anything from those times beyond vague outlines of things I did but never to WHO and I’m sincerely sorry I cannot remember you to properly personalize a heartfelt apology to you beyond what I will say in this most likely very long post. I am sorry, from the deepest reaches of my heart, I am so fucking sorry. I now know the fullest extent of the horrible grief and fear I cultivated in all of you during those two to two and a half years I was lost and letting shitty people shepherd me down the entirely wrong path. I AM NOT TRYING TO EXCUSE MY BEHAVIOR OR SAY I DID NOTHING WRONG. I fucked up on a level no one should ever, EVER go to and every day since I’ve truly found myself I have HATED myself for it, I have PUNISHED myself for it. I have fucking WEPT in frustration and shame on a regular basis for having taken so long to figure out what I was doing to people and what I was doing to MYSELF. If I could go back and change everything and never have become that person, never had let that horrible fucking person manipulate me into thinking he and his cronies actually gave a shit about me - I would in an instant. I would give anything, even my own LIFE to try and take all of that hurt that I sowed into the world back… but I can’t. No one can. I can do everything in my power to try and put positivity and good vibes out into the world to try and make up for what I’ve done, but it doesn’t change and it doesn’t excuse and it doesn’t remove what I’ve done. I never expected it to, I have never expected to just magically be accepted by the entire community with open arms. The only thing I ever asked for was just a CHANCE. I wanted a chance to just let me be a part of the community again and prove I’d changed and to never stop trying to improve myself and help the community I once actively destroyed. But that was inherently wrong of me to want/think as well - not everyone is comfortable or willing to give me that chance and that is FINE, I accept that. My mother always told me, “Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay.” You have a right to feel angry, and I am sorry that I was the one who put that seed of anger, of hate into your heart from my abuse. I am sorry, I can never properly put into writing how sorry I truly am - but I hope this can at least give some kind of inkling of how sorry I truly am. But that’s not all I have to say here, and some of you will probably roll your eyes at what’s to come and sneer… but it needs to be said, and not just for me but anyone who’s been in my shoes and HAS GENUINELY MADE AN EFFORT TO BE A BETTER PERSON. If they have just made a half-assed apology post on twitter or here on spine, then continued the very next second to spew bullshit and hurt people - don’t you DARE try to have the audacity to compare them (or yourself if you the reader are one of these kinds of people) to me or others like me who are desperately trying to atone for the sins they’ve committed against their fellow human beings - not even just as roleplayers - to move past the oppressive shadows of their past. It can never go away, of course - it’ll always nip at my heels now and then... but I’d rather it be that than a darkened storm hanging over my head 24/7 until the day I die. It’s why I’m also here to make this statement that will no doubt incite more rage at me, but you know what? I’ll gladly take that abuse because I will stand up for others when others are too afraid to do so for fear of witch-hunts. It is absolutely toxic and abusive behavior to single out people anywhere and everywhere they go refusing to let them live down things they don’t do anymore - if they’re still doing bad things then only bring up those things that they are STILL DOING. It is absolutely toxic and abusive behavior to punish FREELANCE ARTISTS who are just trying to make ends meet for taking commissions from people who are “problematic”. If you do this kind of thing, YOU are in fact a piece of shit, and are effectively punishing an innocent person - taking away their LIVELIHOOD/INCOME in order to push your own subjectivity. This is absolutely unacceptable, and everyone should unanimously agree with this, no matter if it’s me saying it or some random person who isn’t taboo! I have lost friends, I have lost access to fantastic artists I LOVED to support with what little money I can come by due to this abhorrent practice and I gotta say it’s extremely fucking disgusting - especially when you consider that this behavior comes from people who CLAIM to support each other and support the working class/freelancers. Congratulations what you did is called censorship, and that’s a tool of the communist and nazi parties! THE MORE YOU KNOW~* Another thing I want to address is the very real fact that there ARE groups of very popular RPers/Artists who seem to be the unspoken kingpins of this community and if they decide one day that you’re no longer useful to them/become a liability for them to associate with - they will offer you up as the latest scapegoat for them to rile up the masses and send them after you with torches and pitchforks… ESPECIALLY if you so much as DARE to call THEM out for their own shitty behavior or business practices. Anyway, as no doubt many of our parents or parental figures have instructed us throughout our lives: “TWO WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT.” “IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.” “ANYONE WHO WILL GOSSIP TO YOU, WILL GOSSIP ABOUT YOU.” I am not trying to say “Oh, I am holier than thou! Truly I am but a poor victim!” No, I am just as guilty as anyone reading this of doing these things but every day I try to consciously remind myself more and more not to do them, that THEY DON'T HELP ANYONE - THEY MERELY CAUSE MORE PROBLEMS AND MORE PAIN. In conclusion, I would like to make it abundantly clear that I am completely and utterly, emphatically, sorry for anything I have ever done to hurt anyone - whether intentionally or unintentionally due to my own traumas and mental disabilities. I don’t WANT to hurt people anymore, any time I learn I am hurting someone I immediately want to do nothing but hurt myself and hate myself. But I’m not looking for pity, I’m looking for some reconciliation and the right to be apart of this community even if it’s just so much as being able to play the game and not have people whisper hurtful shit to me or post inciteful and extremely upsetting things about me on anonymous pages or even right out in the open.
I AM NOT A NAZI. I AM NOT A RACIST. I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE. I AM NOT A TRANSPHOBE. I AM NOT A BIGOT OF ANY KIND.
I am just one broken and maladjusted man trying to make things right and move on with his life - to try and heal, but I can’t do that with people lying about me or just constantly bringing up my past to me and everyone around me, this is only re-traumatizing me and anyone else that past involves. You’re not helping anything or anyone, you’re just making more problems and hurting more people and the cycle begins again. I shouldn't have to say this, some probably won't care or believe it but: While I was with those groups, I was constantly called a "Sp*rg" or "R****ded" I was ridiculed and bullied for liking anime or furry shit. These people ruthlessly bullied me and tore me down and apart everyday to maintain their influence over me. Some of you might say, "Why did you even stick around, why didn't you leave?" I was trapped, by own fear of being alone and my great flaw of needing/desiring validation from someone anyone - even if it was these shitty fucking people. Anyway, thank you for your time if you have bothered to even read this entire thing, I know some won't and that's okay. To those who do, whatever your opinion may be of me afterwards is completely and totally valid and fair - whether it be negative, positive, or indifferent.
-Gallows
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How bout a thaurens au in which john starts sleeping with thomas to help alex's career (I've seen a great art by @f-kotik-y ) but then slowly falls in love with him? With prompt 38, 57 and any of sexual ones? Pretty please?
(38: “Isn’t this amazing?” 57: “Is that my shirt?” 177: “You’re so beautiful.”)
John Laurens had one wish. But there was no way it was coming true anytime soon. All he wished was that the guy that he woke up with every morning actually loved him back. He sighed and moved a strand of curly hair from Thomas’ face, enjoying his peaceful expression for a few minutes before getting up and going downstairs to make breakfast. After a few minutes, someone joined him, strong arms wrapping around his waist.
“Good morning, sunshine. You know you don’t have to do that.”
John shrugged. “Yeah, but I want to.”
“Thanks.” He kissed his cheek. “Is that my shirt?”
“Yeah. I can’t exactly wear mine anymore…” Thomas had gotten a little rough.
He chuckled at the memory. “Sorry.”
Now, this wasn’t what most people would first think. This wasn’t a failed marriage or a stale relationship. This was a lot more… Taboo… Than that, to say the least. And it all began because John’s friend, Alexander, had gotten himself in another mess and, once again, John had to be the hero and save his skin.
“Alex? What are you doing home so early?” he asked his best friend and roommate.
“I… Uh… I kind of got fired…”
John groaned and dropped his bag. “Again?! Really, Alex?”
“Hey! It wasn’t my fault this time! Jefferson’s pissed because I said that people who have maids and stuff who don’t pay them support a family are hypocrites who are trying to simulate slavery.”
“… And you thought that was a good idea because?..”
Alexander tutted. “I should be able to say what I think in my writing. This is censorship!”
“Chill out. I’ll talk to him tomorrow morning.”
The next morning, John made his way to the newspaper where Alexander worked and went up to his boss’ office. He hated sharing a name with his father, but it had its perks.
“John. Nice to see you in my office again.” This was far from the first time that Alexander had jeopardize his job.
“Nice to be here again.”
“Maybe we’ll be able to meet up for reasons other than your boyfriend’s stupidity once day.”
“Not my boyfriend, but I agree.”
Thomas raised an eyebrow and smirked. “He’s not? Tell me, then: why is someone of your status always in here begging me to give him his job back?”
John shrugged and crossed his legs, leaning back in his chair. “Because you enjoy paintings of yourself as payment and I have to live with him. He may not be my boyfriend, but he is my best friend.��
“I see.” Thomas nodded and crossed his arms. “Well, I’m getting tired of firing your friend. Paintings just aren’t cutting it for me anymore.”
“I knew this day would come.” John rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the chance.” He glanced up and saw the way Thomas was looking at him. It was probably the same way he was looking back at him at times- with lust and want in his eyes.
“Maybe we can arrange something else…”
“And what exactly do you have in mind?”
“The same thing you do.” John smirked.
Of course, Thomas understood right away. Still, he had a reputation to maintain, making him a bit hesitant. “How do I know this isn’t an attempt at getting some blackmail?”
“Please. My reputation is just as on the line as yours if we do this, not to mention my family name. I have no reason to spill. If we do this, we both win and Alexander keeps his job.”
Thomas seemed to think for a minute. “My only hesitation is the part where Hamilton keeps his job.” John raised an eyebrow and Thomas chuckled. “Kidding.” He scribbled something down on a sheet of paper and slid it to John. “Meet me here at eight tonight.”
John looked at the address and nodded. “Done.”
That night, John did exactly as he said, going over to Thomas’ mansion and being let inside immediately by the Virginian himself.
“It’s nice to see you again, Laurens.”
“Just John is fine.” He stepped inside. “So, where are we going to do this?”
Thomas tutted and wrapped his arm around John’s waist. “Saying it like that makes this sound dirty. At least more so than it is. And my bedroom’s upstairs.” He led the smaller man upstairs.
John imagined that Thomas was going to have a lush bed or something over the top, but he didn’t expect it just to be in the middle of a hallway. Granted, that hallway was in a room, but still. The placement alone made it strange. John didn’t say a word about it, though. He began to strip, pulling his shirt off, but Thomas stopped him. “This isn’t a regular hookup, sugar. Let’s take our time with this.”
That was something that John certainly wasn’t expecting. He assumed that Thomas only wanted sex, not anything passionate. But he wasn’t about to argue. Thomas was an attractive guy and he wanted to enjoy every second of it.
Thomas stepped forward and wrapped his arms around John, leaning down as he pulled him into a kiss. John sighed contently and placed his hands on Thomas’ chest as they kissed, letting him move them back towards the bed as he pleased and only breaking the kiss when they got to it. Thomas started trailing kisses from John’s lips down his neck and pulled his shirt off, putting his hands on John’s hips and smiling. “Just as I imagined… You’re so beautiful…”
John couldn’t help but blush darky at that. Nobody had ever called him beautiful…
(Sex scene below the line. It’ll be italicized and it ends above another line.)
Thomas ran his hands down John’s hips and hooked his fingers in the belt loops in John’s pants, looking up at him for permission.
John nodded and lifted his hips, making it easier for Thomas as he pulled off his pants. He watched as the other moved down the bed to do so, tossing his pants and his shoes aside, just as he had with his shirt, before taking off his own clothes. Somehow, Thomas managed to get even more attractive than before, his abs making for quite a view from where John was laying.
Thomas leaned back down and kissed John again for a few seconds, then pulled away to sit up again, this time reaching for his nightstand and pulling out a condom and a bottle of lube. He slowly pulled down John’s boxers, giving him the chance to protest that he didn’t need. He tossed his boxers down with the rest of their clothes and ate up the sight, committing every curve and every inch of John’s skin to memory. Once he had it down, he poured some of the lube onto his fingers and lifted John’s legs, the other helping him carry his weight as he pushed one of his digits in.
John let out a low moan and let himself relax. It had been a while, too long in his opinion, but he wasn’t a one night stand person. He couldn’t help but wince a bit as he felt the second and third fingers, but the pain quickly subsided both times, pleasure replacing it. By the time that Thomas scissored his fingers in him and stretched him out to prep him, John was in heaven, moaning and writhing in pleasure.
Thomas chuckled. “We haven’t even gotten to the main event yet, sugar.” Still, he enjoyed seeing John react so well when they hadn’t gotten quite that far yet. “I think you’re ready.” Thomas pulled out his fingers and took a moment to put on the condom, John sitting up and watching eagerly. “Be patient, chickadee.” He kissed his forehead and pushed him back down against the bed. “Tell me if it’s too much for you.” He didn’t continue until John nodded. He pulled his legs over his shoulders and positioned himself at John’s entrance before gently pushing in, watching the other’s face for any signs of discomfort. There weren’t any. Just those of pleasure. Thomas smiled and started moving slowly inside of him, eliciting sweet moans and mewls. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting when he agreed to the arrangement, but this was much better. He slowly sped up until he set a good pace, groaning and panting softly at the feeling.
To say that John was in heaven was an understatement. He never felt pleasure like that before and he wanted it to last. At the same time, he wanted to get the most of however long that lasted and, for all he knew, Thomas was the type to finish and assume that John could finish himself off if he hadn’t. So, he started stroking himself and moaning louder, the pleasure unlike anything he’d ever felt before. John’s mind went blank and he forgot about everything else, simply enjoying the time as Thomas gave him the most mind-blowing sex of his life. It was maybe a half hour, but it felt like days before it was finally over. By then, John had orgasmed twice, a sticky mess covering his chest, and Thomas groaned loudly as he finished himself, cursing as he felt himself filling the condom.
“Wow… Isn’t this amazing?” he hummed as he looked down at John’s blissful expression. “You know, if all I have to do to look at this is deal with Hamilton, I’ll consider giving him a promotion.” Thomas chuckled as he pulled out of John. “I’ll be right back.” He kissed John’s forehead and pulled on his boxers before leaving the room for a minute. When he came back, John was already asleep, tired out from the intimate night. Thomas smiled and sat beside him, putting his boxers back on him and cleaning his chest with a warm washcloth before laying down with him and falling asleep.
That was the first night of John’s biggest mistake.
Six months later and John was in way too deep, emotionally speaking. Six months of waking up to Thomas’ arms wrapped around him and beautiful compliments coming from his sweet lips as they shared night after intimate night together led to John falling in love. It wasn’t supposed to be that way… It was supposed to be no strings attached sex to help John’s friend keep his job. He couldn’t just cut things off, not without any explanation. And he couldn’t tell this to Thomas. So, the only solution was for John to keep shoving his feelings down and just enjoy the sex.
But taking this route wasn’t all bad.
After all, John wouldn’t have been nearly as surprised when Thomas asked him out later that morning.
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People choose sides because it's easier that way. Easier to feel right about what they do and don't cater to on an every day basis. But as my understanding of this site goes most people are here for lip service, both giving and receiving, to justify view points and prejudices. No one is right, most people are wrong, but when favorites get attacked then people turn into white knights without getting all their facts straight. You always try to get all sides and that's why i respect your voice~
~in most matters and am readily educated on anything i may have had some oreconceived notions about. So let this hellsite block you as it burns from the inside out. You're doing just fine with cosmic and this blog as far as im concerned.
That was extremely well put… I’ll speak frankly:
I love social media and I love this website because you unintentionally learn so much you didn’t know that you didn’t know. I’ve been through MySpace and LiveJournal and a billion fourms and I’ve always found arguments to be the most enlightening things publicly shared.
You don’t just have to listen to both sides to join or lurk, you actually have to read and pay attention to what each person is saying, even if it’s just to make the most clever clap back. Order really appreciated good clap back.
Maybe it’s the longevity of the site but like you said, people have favorites. There are far less arguments going on around here, actual arguments and not moral accusations. I never misrepresent myself, I mean everything I say but most of the time when I comment on something myself I’m intentionally instigating anger. If people come to call me out that’s great and I’ll participate if people are willing to legitimately argue with me but more often people just tattle to people who they agree with and block me or other people they disagree with so they don’t have to see things they don’t agree with.
That mentality is frightening. It’s dangerous. It leads to things like a Trump presidency.
Worst of all, it’s being encouraged through fake allyship of the disabled through censorship like trigger warnings, through things that are real and matter but are so taken for granted and simplified that they become meaningless or joke. Typing Tr*mp instead of Trump which can be funny but it also reassures people that they are morally superior for agreeing with what they are told to agree with.
Like you said, people have their favorites and a sheep mentality is to be expected but over the years people’s favorites have become favorites of their own, fans of themselves. They don’t tell their followers, “this is why she’s a dumb bitch…” they say, “lol yeah, she’s a dumb bitch.”
I’ve always been good at playing the villain, but I’m becoming more and more frustrated that no one is playing the hero. Very few people go out on a limb to defend their opinions, they just bask in the attention and groups become more and more insular. More marginalized. More segregated. Utilizing and refining more dangerous techniques to maintain the status quo.
The marginalized communities that are harder to defend without changing at least part of your initial conditioning (like disability, bisexuality, asexuality, inter-sexuality, etc) become popularized by outrage, but people are so ignorant about them even if they are convinced to support those communities they know nothing about them and can’t actually support them in any real way as allies. They can do nothing that has any real world effect and seem to not realize that they should.
People re-blog posts that say, “this blog supports XYZ” or “ZYX don’t interact.” That does nothing but validate the people who are woke like a last bed confession; they go to Heaven through mere acceptance and not good deeds. No one is interested in educating themselves, they just want to parrot/re-blog people whose opinions they want to be associated with.
At least before allies received an education even if from an argument or altercation, reaffirming their allyship. Now it’s just a circle jerk.
I don’t believe anyone should be required to educate anyone, that’s not my point. I believe through personal experience that people become educated through participatory allyship, even if only digitally, and through witnessing the reality of what is said and done to marginalized communities they aren’t a part of. Their ideologies are refined by witnessing opposing ideologies facing each other and through the trial and error of joining the argument.
I can’t articulate how much I appreciate people who say they’ve learned a lot through following me, but I also can’t articulate how disappointed I am when people “favorite” me and don’t actually consider the other people’s opinions. Even if I think someone is dangerously wrong, or especially, then, I want people to consider their opinion because if one person has it that means hundreds of thousands of people do, and most probably do through passive ignorance and not an actual intent to be a bigot.
It’s a lazy of me to comment on things with the sole purpose of evoking emotion but so few people actually care about who and what they claim to care about. “I support XYZ” gets billions of notes but people tl;dr things that have real world application. Real information or the questioning of information that makes being an ally more than just a verb.
I obviously care about disability. Disability is objectively and statistically the least supported marginalized community. Our genocide comes first and our civil rights movements come last. Disabled people are actually starting to be recognized as a marginalized community not just online but in politics in academia but as always it’s emerging during the down slide of other people’s invested interest.
In my opinion, we don’t need people protesting Eminem for using the word retard. We need people protesting our murders.
I never intended to be a “popular” blog and I don’t care if I lose 10,000 followers or more over one flippant comment. I’ve dealt with incredible guilt of running a popular blog and not using the platform as I should and that something I really couldn’t live with.
There are a lot of nice disabled bloggers out there to follow. There are options now. I don’t feel like I have to or should keep taking responsibility to introduce disability to people; I feel like I can and should use my talent of being unlikable and infuriating to at least get people to feel things about our issues. If it no longer incites arguments hopefully it at least encourages people to consider the actual words and positions of their favorites as opposed to me.
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