#( also omg i like. COULDN'T help myself from responding w/ a literal novella pls do not try to match this length if u don't want to 😭 )

[hiisheart]

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ♥︎ . *. ⋆ 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥'𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐩𝐨��𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. his friend had always been a bit on the harder side to read , even when verbalizing his emotions in a 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈 𝙳𝙴𝙴𝙿 && 𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙲 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴𝚁. just like this scenario. mike knew he had to exercise patience ; he'd always been a bit on the more 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 and hard-headed side of things , needing to know the meaning of something right away so he could get straight to work on decoding it if need be. but this was will ; this was not only a person he was working with , but someone who probably meant more to him than 𝙰𝙽𝚈 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽 he'd ever met. sure , lucas and dustin meant the world to him too ... but there was just something 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 about will. he was always so sweet , so kind , always presented himself as having such a 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙱𝙻𝙴 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 with mike. he was the one person he felt like he could rely the most on , over everyone else , and made him want to strive be a better person.

he had to wonder , for a brief moment , if these feelings of his own were 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 of will's for him. could it be possible that will's feelings , of all people , were being reciprocated ... ? hidden for probably a long time , but 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝚄𝚃 during this intimate moment between the two of them ... ?

he was always told that feelings between two men or two women were nothing more than 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭. that if it got any further than that , then it was just a delusion , a perversion , something that needed to be fixed. but mike never really believed that. perhaps he internalized that messaging due to 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙾𝚆𝙽 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙸𝙲𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂 about other boys he thought he'd feel during summer camp or years in late elementary and middle school , complicated feelings that may have been more than just the 𝘳𝘩𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘮𝘴 of puberty and sudden life transitions. he wanted to deny them , to fight to suppress them for as long as he possibly could. he didn't want to be 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙹𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳 && 𝙱𝚄𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙴𝙳 than he already was.

but with will by his side , it seemed as though he'd already lost that battle. 𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘩𝘦'𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘨𝘰.

he briefly wondered if he'd regret this later , but 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙲𝙴𝚁𝙽 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚆 when in that moment , he knew there was only one thing to do to solidify his own feelings , and to truly show will how right he was all along. how much of an 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 he'd been having on mike for all these years. he tried to move slowly as to not freak will out , but the moment his fingers 𝚂𝙻𝙸𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙳 𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙺𝚂 , he couldn't stop himself from briskly leaning forward , closing the gap between them lips-first. he held on to the kiss for at least three seconds , a 𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦 he had overheard nancy discussing over the phone with her friends , before slowly peeling away. a dark blush was painted over freckled cheeks , shy brown eyes unable to meet hazel.

❝ ... s-sorry ... ❞ he mumbled out , biting his lip to stop 𝙰 𝚆𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚁𝙰𝙼𝙱𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂 from flooding right out. ❝ i just , um ... felt 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 to ... do that ... ❞

Will didn't answer the first question. Maybe he would one day when he could get his thoughts in a true order. Maybe Mike would figure it out. He was smart. He was so smart it was scary sometimes, but scary in the good way.

He felt relief that Mike accepted him. He still had his best friend. Mike still wanted to be his best friend. He hadn't lost the most important person to him who wasn't his family. But all those thoughts came to a screeching halt.

I'll always love you.

Mike couldn't mean it. Not the way Will wanted him to mean it. Not the way Will dreamed he meant it. He meant it as a friend. And that was okay. Will still had his friend. Friends loved each other. He could love his friends, he loved Dustin and Lucas. But they weren't Mike. But even though Will knew all this, thought all this, he had to put Mike in that category. He had no option. There was no alternative. It would be weird if he didn't. And he had Mike as a friend, he had to maintain the status quo now. That's all he had to do. Just because what he said was out in the open, did not mean he couldn't be Mike's friend. He did it for years hiding his feelings. Nothing had to change.

Will closed his eyes when Mike dried his tears. It didn't stop them. This wasn't his heart breaking, it was Mike taking it and doing what he wanted with it. It wasn't in Will's hands anymore. And that was scary. But he knew that it was safe with Mike. It hurt because he didn't have it, but Mike would save it from being broken. It was just there, maybe neglected, but always a reminder that his friendship, was worth Will's heart even if it hurt Will to give it and not receive Mike's in return.

Will thought he had been ready, been prepared, but he wasn't. Heartbreak might have been easier, but it felt like Mike cradled his heart like he would Holly when she was a baby. He nurtured it, and Will had to watch knowing he would never know what it was like to hold someone's heart like that.

It had to be okay. That was the only option. He did it before, and he'd get used to it again.

"Thank you," he said in almost a whisper his voice just breathy as he held back sobs. "I'm glad," he paused and collected his thoughts. Because no matter what Will felt, and he had no idea how Mike was feeling, he had to reassure his friend.

They were still friends, a relieving thought. He still had his best friend.

"And, it goes both ways. You're safe with me."