#( AISLING OVERTHINKING HOW TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AND BEING IN AWE OF PHEE IS A VIBE )

[clochanam]

she's a highly self-aware hypocrite this evening. in fact, it had made for quite the energetic dish-washing session after dinner had concluded. scrubbing plates with such focus that kate had eventually decided to step back and help anthony put edward to bed. she'd spent twenty minutes bouncing between confusion, frustration, self-reflection, then back around, again and again until the last spoon was tucked away and she found herself facing the ultimate conclusion.

she'd fucked up.

she kept her secrets, too. the company, moira, eoin, fiachra. even ajay's existence, and edgar's brief sentence of imprisonment in the pantry, two key features in her life, had never been discussed with ophelia. and it was fine! better than, really, because relationships are allowed to have some secrets. especially when the truth could hurt the unwitting listener.

but that doesn't stop her from bringing it up when phee turns the key in the door. idiot that she is, aisling attempts to communicate the complexity of secrets and privacy in a bond as intimate as theirs. in fact, what she actually says is significantly more accusatory ( " i know you have your secrets. " i mean, jesus, aisling, seriously? she's content to kick herself for such a stupid introduction for at least six months. ) even though she stumbles frantically for a more reassuring recovery. but phee looks at her with that same steady tranquility that stops her from groaning and giving up on her stupid speech, and speaks with a simple, matter-of-fact tone that soothes the panic in her mind.

it doesn't concern you. that's why i didn't tell you.

" yeah. " relief floods her mind, and she instinctively reaches for her hand. incredible, how @theresastargirl finds a way to communicate so clearly in ten words what aisling failed to achieve with a thousand. thumb running over her knuckles, aisling raises them to press a tender kiss, then nods slightly. " just... you know you can come to me if you need help. okay? promise that you won't take it on alone. because you're not alone. and you never will be ever again. "