#( answered ) / ✦ do i make myself clear ?
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okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"
and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)
whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character
if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me
i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal
and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid
i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him
i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really
(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#person that send an ask about this in just as i was writing this- this isnt about you- i promise you#its soemthing thats been stirring in my mind since yesterday#and seeing so many of those comments- and even aonuma himself say it#just strikes a very very personal sore spot#also to that one commenter on a different post-#no- wanting female characters being allowed to wield a sword is not “badass female character mysogyni” (idk how to spell that rn)#the hollywood badass female character thing is annoying but thats bc-#its a super model woman (bc shes ALLOWED TO BE FEMININE you KNOW) fight people in high heels- bc you can be feminie AND badass-#and then does a cringy one liner 'what you thoguht a FEMALE couldnt kick your teeth in'#which comes with alot more baggage of tropes and hollywood etc etc#i long for the 'women are jsut as capable as men' in a very agender way#why do you think i intentionally design alot of female characters non tradtionally feminie or masculine#again this is a very pseronal thing to me#BUT i do think it IS questionable that its her that isnt allowed to fight with a sword#like i dont think thats much of my personal dislike there- but a valid thing to point out no matter the explanations you can come up with#anyway- i dont hate it- but its not for me- i dont want to talk much about it#i hope you can excuse me not answering the asks i got related to this- id just repeat myself#(i guess i should be glad that its the top down one that gets her as the protagonist-)#(i dont think i want to live through seeing her be animated like the typically girly feminine butt wiggle in your face tehehe)#(the botw/totk cutscnes were enough of that for me PERSONALLY)#i dont know how many times i have to say its my very biased personally personal opinion and no a judging of others#to make it clear that no one has to agree with me and i dont want to be convinced of the other opinions of this
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I was posessed by the sudden need to pony
#mlp fim#mlp#mlp redesign#my little pony#twilight sparkle#art#ink arts#my art#bad moon rising au#TO BE CLEAR. this is not an infection AU. though i think those are neat that is not the idea that had me in its sudden grip#im making no promises with this one because I KNOW MYSELF but idk. it was fun to attempt to do some slight redesigns to twi#idk if im satisfied with it or not but it was fun#anyways. idk maybe if people like it i'll answer questions or do more
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For the ask game! 3 and 21 please ✨
for the choose violence ask game!
3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
i won't screenshot bc i'm not thinking of one post specifically but a couple i've seen- the idea that Tim should be from Crime Alley, not Bristol. which firstly: i need people to understand Tim isn't Bristol rich. Tim is a millionaire and not nearly as high a tax bracket as Bruce is. his family goes *bankrupt* at one point and it's his stepmother supporting them with a job as a physical therapist. like he's not as rich as some ppl thing he is. but that said, he *is* still upper middle class and it's very important to who he is and how his history as Robin is shaped. it shapes how he interactions with other characters. you just... can't make him from Crime Alley? like why would you want to when we *have* a Crime Alley Robin. it changes so much about Tim that he's no longer then same character. and the idea he could just lie about being from an affluent family with a seven-figure company is? i do not get it. like the entire mess of "Tim pretends to be a Drake" is a headcanon that is so bad to me and just tries too hard to make Tim' backstory more interesting to make him the main character. the entire point of Tim Drake was for him to be a *normal kid* becoming Robin. and all that is ruined when you add all these weird things to him. i'm begging fanon to just enjoy Janet and Jack Drake. please <3
21. part of canon you think is overhyped
oooh, i already talked about Joker: Last Laugh and Deat In The Family. is it... bad if i say the entirety of Wayne Family Adventures?
i think i'll be nice and narrow it down actually: the Wayne Family Adventures episode where Jason has a panic attack because a noise reminds him of the crowbar and he runs and hides until Bruce finds him. that episode... oh it haunts me. i think it really fucked up how most of this fandom understands Jason's relationship to his trauma. and the fact that it's *so* popular makes it even worse bc it can often be the only "canon" content some fans have consumed about him. it makes Jason feel incompetent and it misunderstands what his trauma around his death actually is. it paints him as afraid of the Joker and not full of such a violent rage. i just. oh i can usually understand the merits to WFA even if it's not For Me, but that episode i just... don't get it. i don't get how someone can honestly enjoy Jason's character and still think that episode does him favors and is in character. i'm baffled and angry and rolling my eyes all at once.
#necrotic answerings#ask game#listen okay for the first one right#you can think janet and jack are bad parents#you can write fanfic with them as shitty parents#(well to be clear you *can* do anything this is about my opinion yk? do whatever you want it's okay)#but to keep adding all theses weird “what if actually tim was-” things to tim just. sort of frustrate me#he's a normal kid! that's the draw of the character!#once again this fanfic totally has the right to exist#this is just my opinion on it#if you make tim cool in your fics i support you#but i'm going to yell like an old man from my porch. that's all#the yelling can be ignored i will not be offended#i feel like all my answers for number 3 are tim related.#i can't contain myself#feral tim drake is a tag that haunts me#same with chaotic tim drake#those tags are. well. if you don't like fanon you should *probably* block them is the kindest i'll say.
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🌷
#‘If you don't want to answer’ anon#yeah it’s a bit to early to talk about it and knowing this fandom it probably will never be the right time either#i tend to agree with you because I’m that sort of person that stands up for others when I feel there is something wrong going on#i like to confront people and I like to make things very clear#knowing this about myself I always struggle when the others dont do the same#and yeah if you keep Louis out of the equation#as you said he suffered from it too but still took the chance to speak up#(even if his fans are nasty and mostly stupid and i tell that with any possible intention of sounding rude and pretentious)#so you know his words fell a but unheard because that rage and hate kept going#i tend to agree with you on that#but they don’t ever talk or take any position like ever#it’s frustrating because you can’t take actions and try your best to soothe such strong negative emotions#and the fact they didn’t and never do… yeah it’s disappointing but also not really?#cause i don’t expect them too yk?#i think that if they were aware of what was going on now they are now already guilty tripping#i hope they’re taking care now but also i hope this is some sort of wake up call#to stop such waves of criticism and anger towards someone unreasonably#and just show support and do whatever you can to protect humanity#with kindness and respect. not only with words you know
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technically alan wake 2 final draft (spoilers ahead) is a Happy ending for the characters, but the spiral writers room video calling his enlightened self a possible demiurge or demon unsettled me far more than the original ending. that version, by his nature, already existing and overlapping with past loops, influencing and manipulating things without known reasons (to us and the Alan we play). it really makes that Alan out to be something else entirely through ascension and that this is inevitable. this could partially be because I kept seeing people say that the final draft was the happy end with a happy resolution for everyone, but I can’t stop thinking about what this means for Alan—and Alice!—going forward. That, along with the direct parallels to Yötön Yö playing out. It’s SO much to unpack
#final draft spoilers#alan wake 2 spoilers#alan wake 2#I’m repeating myself in my aw2 posts about the ending but I reeeeaally love the first ending#and I’ve come around to liking the final draft but trying to wrap my head around it#and would love to know if anyone has specific thoughts on the yötön yö callbacks or master of worlds/demon thing#I’ve seen some interpretations that alice literally is the bullet of light coexisting with alan. or that maybe he’ll become an antagonist#but idk if I agree with those. but there’s a lot that the final draft opens up#and it is a Little funny to me that it’s considered the more positive or conclusive ends#apart from Logan answering the call—everything else leaves far more to question#the first end is very ‘Alan is stuck in a spiral and needs to ascend w the help of saga and Alice’#but the final draft. all the worlds are Alan’s oyster. who is he and what will he do. i have no idea#and all the ascension and becoming something else while playing the roles of yötön yö still make the entire thing feel slightly off#in a way that’s good btw. i like that the final draft is less clear and not a generic happy end than I assumed from all the buzz around it#like maybe aw3 or control 2 will roll around and he’ll just be like Mr Door and he’s just more aware of his powers#but for now I enjoy the questionable aspects of this happy end for alan and alice#😃 <- me after discussing the endings of aw2 extensively over multiple posts#also feel like i should say that I don’t think alan will be. evil or anything#it’s just the aw2 of identity and change that fascinates me with what ascension means for alan :’)
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Revelation: my whole life, when I've responded to sarcasm seriously, people have been like "uh...why you so serious... I was being sarcastic..." and it makes me insane because like... duh? Why am I not allowed to respond to sarcasm seriously? Why does it have to be treated as hOw DiD yOu MiSs ThAt I wAs KiDdInG? Basically: why is it framed as me failing when I absolutely knew it was sarcasm?
Anyway, this just happened with my wife (no shade, it's very rare with her as compared to like, my uncle, and I told her it made me uncomfortable, we're good, it was just the spur to the revelation) and I think I've realized why it happens and why it bothers me so much.
It's always framed as me missing something, but it's not.
I knew they were being sarcastic, and I chose to respond seriously.
THEY failed to interpret MY response.
Or: damn boy (genderneutral) sorry my Yes, And game is just SO FUCKIN SUPERIOR yall should work on recognizing deadpan. Skill issue.
#unforth rambles#ive always blamed myself for this like i was missing a social cue for making it clear that i was riffing#or that i was choosing to answer seriously instead of laughing or whatever the fuck they expected me to do instead of what i did#my uncle used to frequently make me feel like shit about this to the point that i just stopped acknolwedging his sarcasm at all#but having the exchange with my wife who its usually not an issue with#helped me recognizr that what really happened just now was#she made a joke and i made a bid to yes and that joke#because also i would be fine with a pink roof actually#and she just completely missed the big#er the bid#this has never been my skill issue#it is the skill issue of the other person#im feeling extremely vindicated right now for the lifetime of people whove made me feel like shit over this common type of exchange#next time someone does this to me imma just stare them down and say skill issue and let them figure out wtf i mean 🤣
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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross#but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i can’t help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me#i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
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"you'll be fine at school you just need to answer people when they talk to you!" yeah sorry its always my fault somehow isn't it
#mole talks#i do answer people#if i dont answer somebody then that means:#a) they did not make it clear they were talking to me#b) they were being mean towards me#c) i could not physically answer them at the time#d) they never fucking talked to me in the first place#and honestly. most of the time its reason D. most of the time people don't say ANYTHING to me and then expect me to answer them#like i'm some sort of mind reader#hahaha i'm so excited to go back to a school where nobody respects what i am#i'm so excited to be called the R slur! i'm so excited to lock myself in a bathroom stall and cut myself! i love school!#i'm so excited to not be able to hear a word the teacher says because all of my classmates won't stop talking#seriously how can i understand anything if i can't hear it being explained to me#and when i ask for help nothing changes#oh thats another thing. so excited to see the school counseller#and just lie to her#i don't evem want to lie to her. oh my fucking god dude#school is a good concept. i love to learn and i want to learn#but i just cannot do this#theres no way#why does it have to be like this#:[#i just need to draw gay cats and listen to music#that will cure me
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Imagine a world where people actually fucking listened to me.
#personal#work shenanigans#daisy rages#i am so deeply dedicated to communicating clearly and thoroughly#(not out of ego i swear; but out of responsibility I feel)#that when people respond and it's obvious they didn't comprehend my initial communication#it actually makes me doubt myself deeply#like....did i not make things clear enough? What did I do wrong? How can I change my communication style to make it more clear?#and there is a lot of rage mixed in there#like...do you just not respect me at all?#do you not see the value in reading the information i gave to you?#do you just not care enough to read everything?#is your time so much more valuable than mine that you shouldn't be expected to read and analyze?#I am trying to SAVE time here#i am trying to give you all the information and answer questions pre-emptively so we don't need to go back and forth#if you just fucking READ what I asked initially it would make all of this easier
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Finish watching Playboyy or Wedding Impossible?
At this point, I think you know me too well. Incredibly rude.
Anyway, I'd rather finish watching Wedding Impossible. For a few reasons:
The ending might suck but at least it has an ending
The audio production doesn't make me want to end the world
Even if I hated the characters and how they went about the relationships and how the show framed them, they at least made sense in Wedding Impossible.
Please never give me two gay wrongs again this was so hard.
#ask game#thanks for the ask!#<- that's just my tag i'm not actually thanking you just so we're clear#alsooooo to anyone that might like one or both of these shows i am happy for you i'm glad you like them i just could not get through them#so i suggest you scroll on by#but if you come to ask me questions about them you might not like the answers so this is your warning#i need to go make myself dinner now but i do not want to cook
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damn bro you good?
I'M OKAY TY FOR CHECKING IN. i think it just got slightly overwhelmed, both by the amount of asks i received, as well as struggling to find a personal life/tumblr life balance. i love this blog, but as i've alluded to in tags, i'm a live-in nanny for my infant nephew. and i'm very lucky to have this living arrangement and i certainly have a lot of free time, but bc babies have no schedule and like to fight god, it's hard to get into the groove of writing when at any moment, i might have to help with him. it took me a while to get used to it, but i'm still here i promise!
i think as for future housekeeping, i will continue answering the fun asks i get, but at a much slower rate. and i want to go back to posting more serious comic metas as well, as well as just the things i want to post here. i got a little in over my head and i'm very very pleased to have found the fellow freaks in this fandom, i just did not expect to get so much interaction on such a new blog! so while i did not mean to vanish for a month, i do think it helped me adjust a bit and figure out a personal balance! i should be back for good now tho! <3
#necrotic answerings#I'M ALIVE I SWEAR#also it doesn't help that lately the baby has had some health issues#nothing big! but serious enough that it's just making life rough for him#and life is already rough when you're four months old so you can imagine the stress he's under.#I will say i've got a lot of personal experience with infants now so. if you ever need advice writing a kidfic- /hj#i wanna be so clear I do love the asks#and I will get to them all!#I just got bamboozled. this blog has only been around since August. how are there so many of you#I got descended upon by a flock of crows#also. I fear the stupid firefighter show got my ass. I plan on making a 911 blog tho that one won't be nearly as active as this one#that fandom also doesn't have nearly the dead dove presence. by God. they're all vanilla. they scare me.#no one is inspired. I've heard of migratory slash fandom but good GOD I've never experienced such a potent example firsthand.#anyway! I plan to write at least one whump fill tonight#baby has an appointment so i'll have a couple hours to myself at least#three stressed adults vs one itchy baby who will win#(it's the baby. he wins.)
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i do have my sexuality pretty firmly figured out at this stage it just irks me sometimes bc it doesn’t fit as neatly into the box i’ve assigned it & i like when things in my brain r tidy so i don’t have to rehash them 500 times……
#i’m gay but my relationship with sex is such that i would have sex with almost any of my friends/trusted ones regardless of they’re never#*their gender. & i can’t do certain things bc of dysphoria which makes it relatively hypothetical#and sometimes i might be attracted to women but Never the way i’m attracted to men#so i’m gay. but you see how the ‘but’ bothers me#it’s a little bit abt communicating it to others but it’s mostly abt like. if i don’t have a clear and concise way to describe an aspect of#- myself i will overthink it for the rest of my life even if i know the answer#ted talks
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I've been hunkering down in Gundam Seed JP Twitter and it has been extremely enlightening, especially since I haven't rewatched the main series in a while. Things I forgot, things I actually remember but see in a new light...
Some people love/hate the new movie on there, but I've seeing a lot of people find it good - because it makes the point that 'Kira didn't actually heal from the events of Gundam Seed, and now that he's back on the battlefield without Lacus his sanity is hanging by a thin thread'.
A bunch of people pulling receipts on the discriminatory behaviours/opinions even Kira's friends had possessed unconsciously (in Sai's case, kind of... A bit more blatantly than most back when Kira didn't even pull shit, which had me hissing through my teeth...), the things that isolated Kira into thinking he has to handle things on his own (Tolle's death when he tried fighting by his side, for example), a comparison of behaviours between Murrue who gave him a bow of respect vs his friends who tell him 'we'll distract ZAFT as EA soldiers while you're on the refugee shuttle!' oblivious to the actual dangers because they were only ever on the bridge (haha,,,,, the fact this saved them even if it backed Kira into a corner,,,,,,,, ffffffuck)
Back to the movie, I've seen some mixed reactions about the second half, but!!! I'm generally seeing a lot of people looking at first half Kira and going 'my sad baby. my poor meow meow. get whumped.'
Again, this is all JP twitter, not EN, and definitely not the actual movie - but seeing people's reactions have been an entertaining ride.
#gundam seed#gundam seed freedom#spoilers#not to mention tidbits in the novel#i went onto twitter because i was doubting i would ever watch it for myself/wanted to see what i could understand of jp on my own so far#(the answer to that second bit is; not a lot but i do understand somewhat)#and found a whole lot of meta...#one of the most interesting takes i saw in there is 'the first half of the movie feels like Gundam SEED'#so that's fun#seeing a lot of people come out or convert into shinnkira addicts#and mobkira addicts.... oh boy#he's apparently got a very cute tortured face#i am having such a great time looking through seed jp twitter guys#i've never been able to connect all that strongly with en fanworks so this has been a blast#also very important: it makes a point of making kira and lacus both more human!!! lacus is given more focus!!!!!!!#i couldn't connect with lacus past 'she seems sweet' back then with the sole exception of being interested in her political savviness#so there's a clear attempt to shine a spotlight on things the series itself didn't get time to zoom in on#is what i have been able to parse#what i was able to get from en posts made it seem like it was just a het nightmare whether you shipped anyone or not#but it's nice to hear otherwise#the canon ships will canon and all of them were made with enough intent to be actually good#kira and lacus felt like the weakest of the main pairings once upon a time which sucked because i liked them individually#so now#you get the idea jvuvuvuv#i'll still ship what i like but this gripe at least is put to rest#gundam seed freedom spoilers#islea's words
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@littleblackqrow: "You know, getting a shovel talk from your sister sure was interesting," Qrow said casually. There was a smirk on his face.
As usual, Qrow has opened his mouth and Winter has no idea what he's saying. Shovel talk? She knows it can't be as simple as it sounds, and that damned smirk--
"I know I'm going to regret this, but... what?"
unprompted
#( littleblackqrow / qrow branwen ) / ✦ never met a strong person with an easy past .#( answered ) / ✦ do i make myself clear ?#/ *wheeze* winter no
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Useful seal!
#YANG WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE POOR ANIMAL#kururun#yang xiao long#rwby#rwby spoilers#rwby v9 spoilers#and to be clear#there was a point where i asked myself#“how exactly am i going to make this work?”#and my answer was#“badly~”
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there's something to be said about the very specific feeling of frailty you feel when you come face to face with just how little you've experienced. twenty-odd years on planet earth and you haven't really watched all that many movies. an unlived life facing an uncertain future. i do not know where to point the finger of blame because i live untethered from my past, floating in the present with no clear point of reference no clear definition of who i am or what happened to me and how i turned out the way i am (fucking. can you guess why five is my favorite game. insert that one lyric from that one modest mouse song.) but you're still here, and you can still learn, and you can catch up, but it still feels like you're a pitiful little nobody looking for excuses trying to explain why you're still new to the whole being alive thing. i've got a good head on my shoulders, though, for all that's worth, so i think i might be fine.
in other news, i watched scarface tonight. it was certainly a movie. don't really understand how the movie made it big, but it did have some damn good music. i mean, i don't know. i'm still learning about the world i live in. maybe it really is as much of a masterpiece as people make it out to be and i'm too dumb to see the reason why it's considered a classic. maybe i'm right. i can't tell at the moment. it's kind of a beggars can't be choosers situation - if you ain't watched that many movies, then you can't really be a good judge of quality. but, oh, well. it's one more movie watched. it's a win because i watched a movie. and i'll watch more movies.
#i mean this extends to things like world politics also i'm still learning and i'm eager to learn beyond what i am offered but that doesn't#make the process any less fucking terrifying. like sure fuck yeah i'll be a big shot and do it alone and i'll be proud of myself but the#thing is i really really really don't know how to be alone without feeling empty#and it's funny because the thing i yearn for the most is to be free and to create myself and do things on my own and i can do that i've#learned how to be an adult very early on and people say ah you've yet to face the worst but every time they tell me that i tell them i can't#wait#but at the same time sometimes i sit and i wonder why i haven't watched that many movies. was there nobody to watch them with? could i have#asked? could things have been different? is it my fault for never having really wanted things or somebody else's? and i'll never really have#a clear answer to any of those questions or at least not anytime soon because my cranium is messed up and unreliable but i won't get the#answers anywhere else. shrugs. i've yet to start living a life. i don't know when i died but i do know but maybe that's just an idea and#maybe i've been dead all along until some point in the past two years but then what are all those memories i have where did they come from#why are they so far apart why do they feel mine and foreign at the same time. can you guess who my favorite mg character is.#well okay i have like what four or five of those but read the text again and think really really hard about it. i'm just kidding i'm goofing#around at this point. i mean no not really but i am smiling about it. :]#logs
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