#'you cant make a single mistake or else you will incur massive financial damage on the family and will be shamed about it for years'
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resolution for the year is to, if absolutely nothing else, look into job training programs i might be able to make use of. If Fucking Nothing Else
#personal#or any other program that might be able to help me get up with some kind of start#having no degree and being out of school for so long has decimated my self confidence in my workplace competency#if not that. then maybe seeing if there is literally anything for getting over my fear of driving#which is honestly more financial than anything#we only have one functional car rn and my mom is the one who needs it most (dad cant drive for health reasons)#when my brother was a teenager and just got his license#he made a stupid teenager mistake and accidentally rear ended a schoolbus-#no damage to the bus but apparently the car was totaled#and that was the last time we had two working cars#for YEARS afterwards my dad WOULD NOT LET GO of it and would lament the loss of such a nice car#and it made my brother miserable ngl. he already felt bad. and i mean YEARS#i dont think its much of a mystery why the idea of driving is deeply unpleasant and anxiety inducing#'you cant make a single mistake or else you will incur massive financial damage on the family and will be shamed about it for years'#isnt a great motivator for wanting to be anywhere near the wheel of a car!
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