#'you can be a duke of hell' yeah like instead of you bestie?

[nightmanatee]

btw can't stop thinking about beez's "you find gabriel for ME" not for hell not for us. not anything. for me.

god it's so obvious.

[tobiasdrake]

One last task to take care of before we infiltrate Fort Fleshy.

I was twiddling them earlier when I was flying around the map just to see what I could find. This place is definitely an intricate combination lock.

Could be the key to releasing Duke Aventry. Might just be Roro's porn stash. Either way, we won't know until we've cracked it. Personally, I think we should forego the lock and just bring Yolande in to blow this support column to hell.

Sure, we can also do that. Yoyo knows everything and is loyal to no one, so there's no reason she wouldn't assist us but no guarantee that she would either. Worth a shot.

Your swamp is a maze and I hate it. Give me useful information or I'll make your other eye look like the one I'm wearing on this necklace.

...

I mean. Good afternoon, Yoyo. What a pleasant day we're having. Could you possibly help me break into your sister's porn stash?

Yep. Got it. Just like the Watchmaker. Not motivated enough to directly assist us but also not motivated enough to put up with the violence that's going to ensue if you don't. One whole "Not My Fucking Problem", served and delivered.

I've seen these runes before. I remember wondering what they were about. But the Roro Heist was so long ago, I'd forgotten.

Thanks, Yoyo. This was a fairly neutral level of non-assistance. Your cauldron didn't even tell me anything new; Just reminded me of answers I've already witnessed.

Here we go. The most closely-held secrets of the embodiment of evil incarnate....

...are a backdoor into this vault we've already been in. Okay but why tho.

What is even the point of this? The combination to the lock is written on the wall, and if you take that combination to an island off the coast and enter it into a secret crypt, it will open a passage to bring you right back here but now the treasure's unlocked.

This is the most roundabout key I've ever seen. Only a truly despicable mind would come up with something so needlesly convo-

...

Oh.

That's what the convoluted circuit loop lock is guarding? Roro makes this whole trip every single time she wants to write a new entry?

Well. We did not find her porn stash. Instead, we found her daily workout regimen. An awkward way to get your steps in but credit where it's due, it means she can't skip out on the routine.

Hold up, she repurposed your journal into her own? That is a whole new layer of domineering.

You need to get out of this relationship, my dude. Like. I think it's pretty clear at this point that she does not respect your personal space at all.

There is a vacancy. We butchered the creature that was occupying it, so if you want to go back, you can.

Oh cool, new Ferry ticket.

Honestly, not 100% sure why Aventry wanted us to come here. Unless this is the place he has fond memories of or something.

I dunno. We'll smash and grab first, then sift through the loot and figure out what we're supposed to do with it later.

Oh shit, it's Roro's private residence. That's what he gave us. I guess that other place was just her work office.

...do you think she'll be happy to see us? I guess there's really only one way to find out. *clears throat* HEY BESTIE--

How have you been? Raised any cool horrors lately? I saw your sister the other day, she seemed to be doing... adequately.

Anyway, we gotta talk about your boy. You're keeping the leash wound a little too tight and--

Okay, but was it really your journal? He had it first. How does that saying go? Two wrongs balance each other out and make everything ultimately fine.

But also that's lame and I prefer it when things are unbalanced in my favor, so now I need to rob you even more.

You heard her, team. We're looking for a locket. Fan out and--

Oh, yeah. We're old pals. It's just too bad she keeps her place in such a miserable state. Look at this place. Bones and flesh just lying strewn about.

I'd offer to help clean up but honestly, that sounds like too much work. Zale, you're pretty good with clutter, why don't you sweep the place.

There we go. Nice and spotless.

Ah, this brings back memories. There's something nostalgic about it. You never really forget your first armed robbery.

Pleasure doing business with you.

You know, we have to stop meeting like this. You going about your day. Me, beating the shit out of you and taking your things. It's getting stale. Why don't we do lunch sometime or something, just for a change of pace?

I think we hurt her feelings. Do... do you want to talk about it?

Uh, Roro says you're fired, by the way. Can't say I've ever been given a gift-with-purchase for a robbery before but she handed me the pink slip right along with the locket.

Yeah, I thought it was weird too.

Better luck in the next life, man. Hope the person waiting for you will treat you better.

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[knightofthecourt]

Love Bites - Chapter 8

Belatrice Gray was a TA at Belgrave University, working hard to stay on top of her marking and trying not to flunk her own studies, when a night out with her bff Randall and his roommates, changed everything.

Hamish Duke x OC fiction with fluff, romance and angst. OC description has been left out to allow for reader personalisation!

“Stupid, stupid, STUPID.” The vending machine shook as Bela whacked the side of it, earning her a dirty look from a young, blonde woman sitting at the table across from her in the student lounge. 

She gave the machine another thump and her packet of Cheetos fell forward a fraction of an inch, and then stopped. Bela didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or give the irritating box a good solid kick. 

“Wow, nothing gets a woman going like a faulty vending machine.” Randall joked as he joined his friend in front of the infernal device. “Don’t worry Bels, I’ve got you covered.”

He reached into his satchel and pulled out a Twix. As Bela took it with a small ‘thanks’, her eyes were suspiciously glassy. Randall grimaced, “Bad day?”

“Bad month.” Bela replied. 

“Still on for our epic film night?”  

Bela nodded. “When have I ever said no to The Princess Bride? We can grab snacks on the way to mine.”

As they walked Bela felt herself relax slightly, letting Randall’s easy chatter drown out the sounds of the students around them. 

“We thought we’d celebrate the end of finals but Jack was busy with Alyssa again, like always - must be a Tuesday, right? I wanted to go to B&C but Lil insisted on going to that new bar down the road, the one with all the bikers-” 

Bela nodded in sympathy, unwrapping her Twix. 

“And then we got SO drunk, Hamis-” Randall broke off suddenly.    

Bela looked at him. “You can say his name, Randall.” 

“I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Who’s upset?” Her eyes flashed. “It’s totally normal to sleep with someone who ditches you in their apartment and then ignores you for three weeks straight. The kids call it being ‘ghosted’ Randall, and it’s a normal part of the college experience.” 

Catching the look on her friend’s face she forced her expression into something she hoped resembled a smile. “Really,” she insisted, “I’m over it.” 

“Yes, of course you are - I’m totally convinced.” 

Bela had been trying her hardest to avoid drawing her friend into her little pity party over Hamish. She’d had her feelings hurt before by a guy - by a dozen guys, but this time it stung more than she wanted to admit. When Bela had woken alone in Hamish’s apartment with sore legs, a sore neck and, well, sore all over, she had been surprised. A few days and three unreturned texts later she’d been worried. After Randall had awkwardly confirmed over coffee, that Hamish was in fact, alive, she had been furious. 

Despite hitting all of the usual heartbreak remedies - romcom binges, a rather satisfying round of axe throwing at the hipster place round the corner, and just plain, wallowing - Bela’s feelings were as raw as they had been weeks ago. As much as she wanted to, she just wasn’t moving on. 

She’d quickly realised that talking to Randall was off the cards. He was her friend, but he was also Hamish’s friend. When she attempted to casually bring up the situation, his insistence that it was just a difficult and complicated situation (which he couldn’t explain to her), just made her feel worse. Besides, it wasn’t fair for her to put him in the middle of what was quickly turning into a bizarre and deeply depressing, failed romantic conquest.  

The final straw had been last Monday. She’d been walking home from class, distracted by the thought of another late night grading papers, when she rounded a corner and almost ran head-first into him. The countless nights spent imagining what she'd do if she saw Hamish did little to prepare her. There was no apology, no awkward exchange or attempt to excuse his abrupt absence from her life, Hamish had just turned on his heels and walked off in the opposite direction, leaving Bela, and a very confused Randall and Lilith in his wake. 

Once they’d all recovered from the moment, Lilith and Randall had offered to help carry the papers back to her apartment, but Bela politely and firmly refused. 

Instead she walked the 15 minute journey home, closed her front door on the outside world and then, after setting the papers neatly on her coffee table, burst into tears. 

“Bels,” said Randall, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

“Mmhm?” 

“I don’t think you’re fine.” He reached over and prised the mangled chocolate bar from her fist. “Blade and Chalice?” He suggested.    

“Yes, please,” Bela said with a weak smile. 

- - - - - 

“You’re gone and I gotta stay high, all the time, to keep you off my mind, ooOo-hoo, ooOoo-hoo.” Gabrielle warbled from a stage in the corner of the packed bar. 

“You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night.” Bela rolled her eyes as the brunette milked the spotlight for all she could. 

“She sounds like an angel.” Randall slurred, pouring himself another beer. 

Bela squinted at him. “Do you have a crush on Gabrielle?”

“Pffft,” Randall blinked a few times, trying to focus on the stage, “She does sing it well though…” 

“Right, I’m cutting you off.” 

“Nooooo, hells bells-ha! Bels. Get it?” 

“Yes,” Bela sighed, “I get it.”

Randall frowned. “But you’re not laughing.” 

“That’s because it wasn’t funny.” 

Randall grabbed his chest. “You wound me Bela. And to think I thought of you as my friend.” 

“A real friend would get us a refill from the bar.” Bela shook the empty pitcher. 

As Randall stumbled across the room she looked around. The Blade and Chalice was packed with students, regulars and - was that? Yep - even a few professors. They’d managed to snag a table by the door when they got there but as the hours ticked on the place had quickly filled up and was now almost uncomfortably busy. The promise of cheap beer and bad karaoke clearly drew a big crowd and though it wasn’t Bela’s usual idea of a good night, she couldn’t deny that sitting here with her friend, downing drinks and mocking the performances was actually proving to be a pretty decent distraction. 

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Is it more beer?” 

Randall placed the pitcher on the table between them. “No, well yes. But also I signed us up for a song.” 

“Oh great, so we can be the drunk idiots everyone’s making fun of?” 

“C’mon Bels, it’s just a bit of fun. Let’s do something funnnnnnn, for once in our lives! No one cares, they’re all at least five beers deep anyway.”  

Bela huffed. He had a point.

“Fine, but I’m not singing a ballad.” 

Randall did a happy dance and dragged Bella up to the stage. As the first chords of Now or Never by Halsey began, Bela grimaced. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Randall.” 

“Big smile doll, it’s showtime!” He launched into the first verse. “I don’t wanna fight right now. Know you always right. Know I need you round with me, but nobody waitin’ round with me.” 

Bela groaned as he smiled in encouragement. “Been through the ups, yeah the ups and the downs with me. Got a whole lot of love, but you don’t wanna spread it round with me.”

“Let’s take it to the chorus!” Randall shouted into the mic. Bela smiled at her friend, he was clearly having the time of his life.     

Randall’s voice joined hers as they sang together, “Baby gon’ love me now, now, now, now, now or never. I want you to hold me down, down, down, down, down forever.” Randall shook his hips, eliciting a chorus of cheers and whistles from the crowd. 

Bela giggled, for the first time in ages she was actually kind of enjoying herself. The beer gave her a fuzzy, comfortably numb feeling and as she watched Randall crooning into his mic, dancing provocatively in front of the crowd she couldn’t help but grin. When he noticed her smiling he grabbed her hand and twirled her round. They finished their song with a flourish and made their way off the stage. 

As they stepped down Gabrielle approached Randall. “Nice dance moves,” She said, leaning close to him and batting her long lashes. “Want to buy me a drink?”.   

He looked at her like a deer caught in headlights for a second and then remembered why he was in the bar in the first place. “Uh, I’m hanging with my bestie tonight.” 

Bela rolled her eyes and leaned over to him. “Are you crazy? Go have fun - I’m fine!” 

“No, I’m not leaving you alone”. 

“Don’t be an idiot. Tonight was awesome, consider me cheered up! Now go.” She gave him a gentle shove in Gabrielle’s direction. He flashed her a hasty thumbs up and mouthed wish me luck, before following her to the bar.

Bela smiled to herself, Gabrielle was going to eat that boy  alive. 

She was making her way back to the table to grab her bag when she bumped into someone coming from the direction of the bar. 

Lilith swore loudly as the glasses she was holding splashed over, catching the front of her jeans. “Seriously? I just got these, watch where you’re going, you drunk- oh. Shit. Hi”. Lilith looked up, her anger fizzling when she recognised Bela.  

Oh God, Bela thought, if Lilith was here did that mean…?

As if she could read her mind, Lilith raised the glasses. “Uh…I’m just here for a nightcap.” 

Bela eyed the drinks - a beer and a scotch. “Both of those for you?” 

“Yep. What? Now only men can be alcoholics?” 

Bela felt the effects of the beer evaporating quickly, along with her good mood. She didn’t really want to spoil her first good night in ages and the last thing she wanted right now was to start an argument with Hamish’s aggressively possessive bff. “Ok, sure. Have fun.” 

Bela grabbed her bag and coat and headed towards the door, just as the bell above it chimed. 

She noticed Hamish before he saw her. He was wrapped in a thick coat, buttoned up against the cold, distracted by the phone in his hand. Lilith shoved past her, approaching him quickly.

“Haim, sorry I didn’t realise - Randall said they were going to be at-”

He looked up to the sound of her voice, in confusion, before his eyes slid over past her shoulder and locked with Bela’s. 

Bela watched in shock as he snarled - actually snarled - at Lilith and then turned and walked straight out of the bar. 

Lilith huffed and slammed her drinks down on the closest table. “Really! Again?”

[hamiltalian-creates]

Brothers Will Be Brothers 2

Summary: Virgil and Dee meet Remus and Roman at the mall and learn something not so shocking about them. Remus wants to play matchmaker, but Dee isn’t so sure about it.

Pairings: Brotherly Anxceit, Creativitwins, queerplatonic Dukeceit, implied Prinxiety

Words: 2,633

Warnings: Remus is Remus

[Virgil: Hey, Roman, u free?]

[Roman: Unfortunately so. Patton and Logan are binge watching Harry Potter again and they kicked me out for criticizing it as much as I did :(]

Virgil chuckled to himself. Roman never did know when to shut up.

[Virgil: My brother and I are going to hang out at the mall with his bf and I don’t want to just third wheel it, so he’s making me ask you to join.] [Virgil: want to come?]

[Roman: Of course! I finally get to meet this mystery brother of yours]

It wasn’t that Virgil purposefully hid Dee from his friends. It was just easier to distract himself from his worries outside of the house.

[Virgil: Great, I’ll text you in a bit w the time]

Virgil sighed and put up his phone before heading to the shower to rinse out his hair. He hoped Dee wouldn’t embarrass him to death.

[D: Hey, Rem, Virgil wants to officially meet you. Meet at the mall in a few hours?]

[Remus: OF COURSE?!?!?!! IS THAT A QUESTION?!?!?!?!?!]

Dee smiled to himself.

[D: It might be a bit awkward, he’s convinced that we’re boyfriends.]

[Remus: romance... barf.] [Remus: I’ll just explain when I see him! Easy peezy, lemon squeezy!]

Oh, simple minded Remus. When were things ever that simple?

An hour plus a hair wash and conditioning later, the two brothers were off to the mall, their respective “dates” on the way to join them.

“Promise you won’t go full dad-brother and humiliate me?” Virgil asked as he slumped in the front seat.

“Oh, I promise nothing,” Dee corrected. “If he doesn’t love me at my dad-brother, he doesn’t deserve me at my cool brother.”

Virgil groaned. “Stop trying to meme! You’re, like, 30.”

“I’m not even 21 yet!”

“Yeah, but mom and dad would’ve been a little over 40 and since you’re taking their roles, it averages out. So, that actually puts you at mid thirties.”

Dee smiled and shook his head. “Faulty math, but okay.”

Virgil smiled to himself and scrolled through Instagram as Dee drove, feeling relaxed for once.

When they got there, the two headed into the Barnes and Noble and waited, Virgil taking the liberty to wander through the aisles while Dee sat at the cafe and ordered himself a drink.

While he waited, he felt two familiar hands on him, one covering his eyes and one on his neck.

“Guess who? Guess wrong and off comes your head!”

Dee smiled to himself. “Is it Virgil?”

“Nope! You know who it is, Dee-Dee!” Remus pulled Dee into a tight hug and kissed his cheek. “Where is that little emo brother of yours?”

Dee shrugged. “Probably browsing the horror section.”

“I knew I’d find you in the horror section!”

Virgil jumped as Roman appeared behind him, putting away the book he’d began thumbing through. “And I’d find you in the kids section if you were here. What else is new?”

“Uh, I am meeting this brother of yours and, apparently, his boyfriend! That’s new!”

Virgil couldn’t fight back his smile. Roman was always so excitable, like a child on Christmas Day. “Yeah, whatever. We can all meet outside, unless you wanted something from the cafe?”

Roman shook his head. “Me and caffeine in public? Honey, that is a recipe for disaster.” Instead, he grabbed Virgil by the hoodie sleeve and pulled him out of the store. “What’s with the hood? First, we can’t see your hair at school, now not even at the mall, where nobody knows us?”

“I just did something to it.. No big deal.” He pulled down his hood, revealing his new, purple hair, and felt himself get kicked into freeze mode as Roman let him go. “If it looks stupid, blame Dee. He was being all sentimental and wanted to dye it for me.”

“No!” Roman exclaimed, a bit too loudly for Virgil’s liking. “I mean.. No, it looks really nice, Virgil. It fits this edgy thing you have going on.” He vaguely waved at him, gesturing mainly at the patched hoodie and combat boots.

Virgil tutted. “Alright, princey, don’t be weird because I found a look you couldn’t pull off,” he said, a clear joking edge in his voice.

Roman rolled his eyes and laughed a bit. “Fine. Where is this brother?”

Virgil checked his phone. Dee saw his text, so where was-

“You?!” Roman called out as he turned around, mortified.

“You!” Remus called back as he came out with Dee, clearly excited. He went over and pulled Roman into a bone-crushing, not-exactly-reciprotated hug.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Virgil asked, trying to pry his friend away.

Remus let go and smiled. “Oh! Sorry, I guess I should introduce myself. The name is Remus Duke, half brother to this little drama queen!” He patted Roman’s head, who didn’t seem to quite hate the affection, but he clearly wasn’t a fan.

Virgil felt his mental jaw drop. This was the dumpster fire brother that Roman had described on multiple occasions?

“Oh, you did mention you had a brother, didn’t you?” Dee commented as he joined the three, pulling Remus away from poor Roman.

“Yep!”

“Half brother,” Roman corrected. “Same birth giver-”

“Different sperm giver,” Remus finished.

Virgil nodded. “Remus has his mom’s last name, Duke, and Roman has his second mom’s name, Prince.”

“Well, don’t say it like she’s any less my mama,” Roman added. “Mom and his dad broke up and mom found mama and they had me.”

Dee nodded, trying to keep up. “Well, isn’t this one hell of a coincidence?”

Roman nodded. “Yep.. Remus, I thought you were aro.”

“Still am! Dee’s my bestie, not my boyfriend, Virgil.”

Virgil hid an embarrassed blush behind his pale foundation. Okay, that explained that.

“Queer platonic partner! I finally found a name for what Dee is to me,” Remus hummed as he pulled said partner into a tight hug.

Roman smiled a bit. He and Remus were so different that they didn’t get along well most of the time, but he was still glad to see him this happy. “Well, why don’t we actually walk and talk instead of crowding the path?”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah, come on, you two are making a scene.”

Dee rolled his eyes. “Well, lead the way, then.”

Roman smiled and grabbed Virgil by his hoodie sleeve. “Hot Topic?”

“Hot Topic.”

Dee grabbed Remus’s hand and followed the two younger teens through the mall, stopping at Virgil’s favorite store. He preferred to wait outside, but Remus ran right on in to browse.

“What about that nerd store you like?” Virgil asked as he walked with his friend.

Roman shrugged. “Eh, I can go there later. You invited me, I figured I should ask you first.”

Virgil nodded and looked through a few t-shirts. “Thanks, Princey..”

Roman nodded and watched his friend. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he’d developed a certain fondness for the emo boy. He wasn’t sure if it was a crush, but it definitely wasn’t what he felt for Logan or Patton, not at all. But he wasn’t sure Virgil would appreciate being put on the spot like that, so he didn’t say anything for now.

“I think I’m going to wait outside. I’m not really interested, but you keep looking,” Roman said after a few minutes, leaving as Virgil gave him a nod.

Remus saw his brother leave and slid right on in beside Virgil. “Hey there, Virgil. I heard you wanted to give me the boyfriend talk?”

Virgil was still mildly mortified by how wrong he’d been. “I didn’t know you weren’t into him like that, you guys just do a lot of couple stuff. I know when he goes over to your place at night, he makes it totally obvious when he comes home in the morning.”

Remus shrugged. “What can I say? I know how to work with what I have.”

Virgil’s nose scrunched up. “That’s so gross.. That is my brother, you know.”

“I know, but what’s the point in hiding it when you basically know everything?” Remus asked, grabbing the shirt that Virgil had been eyeing. “Nightmare Before Christmas? Seems right up your alley.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and stared at the ground. “Yeah, whatever, I’m a dark teenager. It’s just technically still a Disney movie and that’s Roman’s thing. It’s not like I want to accidentally match him, that would look stupid.”

“Aw, I think it’d be cute!” He glanced around a bit before leaning in. “Don’t tell him I told you, but I think he’s got a little crush on you.”

Virgil felt his face heat up as he snatched the shirt from Remus’s hands. “Whatever, that’s so stupid, you’re probably just picking on me, Dee probably put you up to it, I’m just going to go,” he rushed out before starting to leave, only stopping as Remus grabbed his arm.

“Wait, I didn't to embarrass you or anything. I may be aromantic, but I can spy a couple of pining teenager when I see them. Roman’s too much of a geek to ask you outright, so do you like him?”

Virgil hesitated for a second before shrugging. “I mean.. He’s not completely gross or anything. He’s just such a weirdo, I don’t know if I’d ever-”

“So that’s a yes, then?”

Virgil grumbled and sighed. “Yeah, whatever, fine, but if you’re just picking on me, I’ll kick your ass.”

Remus bit back a laugh at that. “Sure you will.”

Outside of the store, Roman nodded at Dee as he sat beside him, only glancing over as the other began speaking.

“So, you’re no good at hiding your crush on Virgil.”

Roman scoffed and laughed overdramatically. “Crush on Virgil? Wow, he’s just a friend. As if I really-”

Dee raised an eyebrow.

“... Yeah, fine, I like him.. But it’s just a crush, I’m not trying to do anything to hurt him.”

“You realize that Virgil’s in a fragile place? That if you were to hurt him, I’d legally have to hunt you down?”

And, honestly, Roman didn’t doubt that he would. “Well... Of course, I’d never even think about hurting him, but Virgil isn’t fragile.. He’s a really tough guy..” And, for the scrawny emo of the group, it was surprisingly true. The two of them bickered like crazy and while Patton always rushed to Virgil’s aid, thinking he’d be unable to handle it since the death of his parents, Roman knew the truth. Sure, maybe some of those comments got annoying, but he could tell that they didn’t hurt him too bad, no doubt due to the fact that he had an older brother.

Dee nodded. Good answer. So this Roman wasn’t just looking to treat Virgil as a damsel in distress. “But he does do very poor in the spotlight, something I feel is quite different from yourself.”

Roman let out the tiniest laugh. “Okay, that is true. But it’s not like I’d force him into drama with me or anything. He can do what he wants and I actually enjoy quiet time with him and our friends. Of course, I’d adore the chance to act with him on stage or to tell the whole school how great I think he is, but I’d keep it toned down, if the idea freaked him out too badly.”

Roman also wasn’t planning on forcing Virgil out of his comfort zone. “One more question: What makes you think I’m going to approve of you as his boyfriend?”

And that one kind of stumped Roman for a second. After all, he has an older brother of his own, but Remus seemed so much less strict than Dee about his little brother. This wasn’t a question he’d ever really thought of, especially since Virgil had been so adamant about keeping his friends and his home life separate. “I don’t know... Honestly, I don’t expect you to, but that doesn’t make me like him any less. If I have to bend over backwards to get your approval, so be it, but I really like him.. Not only that, Virgil is my best friend, I’d never dream of hurting him.”

Dee couldn’t help but smile a bit. Roman was still an awkward teenager, but at least his heart was in the right place. “Alright, fine.. You do seem like a good guy, and you are Virgil’s friend. I guess I wouldn’t have to kill you if you asked him out.”

Roman beamed and let out an awkward laugh. “Thank you.. I promise, I’ll do my best to be a good boyfriend..”

“With your life on the line, I’d hope so,” Dee shrugged.

Roman let out another awkward laugh. “Right... I’d expect nothing less than for a big brother to keep making that joke..”

“Who said I was joking?”

“Dee, are you tormenting my brother? That’s my job,” Remus said as he came out from the store, Virgil trailing behind him.

“This is why I don’t go anywhere with you, you’re more embarrassing than mom and dad ever were,” Virgil grumbled, pulling his jacket hood down over his face with his free hand, the other preoccupied with his Hot Topic bag. “I only have three friends, could you not drive them away?”

“We were just talking,” Dee replied in a far-too-innocent voice. “If he felt threatened by my words, that’s not completely my fault, is it?”

“You are the worst..” Virgil stood beside him and sighed, pushing his hood back down. “Are you done embarrassing me or can we move on to another store?”

Roman smiled and stood up. “It’s fine, Virgil. I have Remus, I get it.”

Virgil nodded. “Right.. Let’s go to that nerd store you like so much.”

“Yes!” Roman cheered, grabbing Virgil by his sleeve and pulling him through the mall, Remus yanking Dee behind them.

Despite the chaos that just came with a friend like Roman, Virgil couldn’t help but have the time of his life. He loved Patton and Logan, but it was great to not have them treating him like he needed to be protected and Remus was there to make sure Dee couldn’t do the same, though he couldn’t be blamed, being an older brother. It was nice to be with someone who didn’t let Virgil’s anxiety define him, even if it meant that Virgil occasionally got overwhelmed. It was nice to have Dee there to help when that did happen. It was just... It was a nice day. A great day, even.

“You’ve been smiling since we got in the car. What happened back there?” Dee asked as the two pulled up at the house.

Virgil tried to shrug it off, but there was no hiding his tiny grin. “Roman asked me out.. And I said yeah.”

Naturally, Dee couldn’t stop himself from feeling at least a little bit of anger, but he hid it. That smile on Virgil’s face said it all, he didn’t need a parent right then, he needed his brother. So, Dee pushed back his protective nature. “I knew he liked you. When’s the wedding?”

Virgil scoffed and pushed him a bit. “You’re such a weirdo. It’s just a date, a first date. We’re talking about it later, though...”

Dee nodded and let them both inside. “Just let me know when so I can clear my schedule.”

“I’d rather date Remus than let you chaperone us, I’m too old for that kind of thing,” Virgil grumbled as he walked towards his room.

Dee chuckled and locked the door behind them, sighing. He didn’t know if it was being a brother or acting as a parent, but either way, Virgil was growing up too fast. And, as much as he hated it, Dee was just going to have to deal with it.

[skeletonwoman]

J is for Judgement

This is a part 2! Comes after a part 1, and a part 1.5!!

You smile at Dick when he darkens the pet stores doorway.

“Hey baby, hey baby,” he greets and you snort, coming around the counter to give him a hug. You’ve never been much of a hugger, but hell, he’s just the cuddliest.

Also he smells like a tasty man.

Pulling apart, he leans against your counter, an attempt at being casual and you hide a smirk.

“So, bestie,” he begins and you waver in place. Luckily the space is empty apart from the two of you. “I’ve got a thing tonight, if you’re interested in coming.”

“Going out on the town with my bestie?” You begin, about to rain him in stupid compliments.

“Ah- not, the town…” He cuts in and you hum, wrinkling your brow. “Dami is throwing the dog a birthday party,” his tone drags the words as if it’s a chore, even though it sounds like tonight might be the best of your life, “and it’s just a small gathering, family and close friends. I was wondering…”

He gives you a sneaky look.

“Yeeees?” you sing-song back and he licks his lips, trying to hide smile.

“If you were interested…” His mouth drags the words out and you feel like you’re vibrating from the inside out.

“Innnnn?”

“Coming with me to the party tonight?”

“Yeah!” You shout, throwing your fists in the air and bouncing around in a circle before pulling up in front of him, dropping your excitement and blanking your face. “Yeah, sounds cool, no biggie, if you want, no prob, Bob.”

Dick beams at you, still leant against the counter. “They’re going to love you.”

“You bet your ass they will, Richie!” Your bravado has his expression softening with affection, even as your stomach flips with a sudden and crushing panic. Hiding this, you catch his hand in one of yours and swing them. “I am excited to meet Barbaraaaa.”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes and grinning, before pushing off the counter and dragging you about the store.

“Help me get the damn dog a present, it can be from both of us, obviously,” he says, before muttering. “Dogs birthday party, Jason didn’t get a birthday party last year but the dog does?”

You don’t tell Dick about the guy today. You know he notes the scrawled number on your hand and he smiles a little, but when you don’t mention it, he doesn’t ask.

As you’re walking home, Dick having promised to pick you up later, you stare at your phone.

Debating.

Screw it.

Me: Hi, this is Y/N from the pet store, I didn’t get your name today

You wait ten seconds before shoving your phone into your pocket out of anxiety and instead focussing on tonights hellscape.

You have to make these people love you. You have to!

Ignoring the silence and stillness of your pocketed phone, you instead focus on reviewing what you know about Dicks family.

Surprisingly- little.

Honestly? You barely know anything about them.

Except:

               He has two dads, Alfred and Bruce

               He has four brothers, Jay, Tim, Duke and Damian

               He has two sisters, Steph and Cass.

               He has one not sister, Barbara, also his unrequited love

               He doesn’t have favourites between any of them.

Luckily, as you start up your stoop and your chest starts to heave, your phone vibrates in your pocket.

Unknown Number: I’m Jason

You wait. For something, anything.

After two minutes, you’ve entered your apartment and, phone still in hand, made your way to your closet.

After ten, you’ve set the phone back on your bed and are deciding between a red bodysuit and a yellow crop top.

After twenty, you’re in the shower and anxiously shaving your legs even though you’ve decided to wear long pants.

At the thirty minute mark, out of the shower with your hair wrapped but before you apply moisturiser, you pick up the phone and give in.

Me: What do you do, Jason?

Putting it back down, without much expectation, you pick up the moisturiser once more but pause when the device beeps again.

Jason: I’m a freelancer, mixed martial artist.

Jason: Do you like lunch? Or breakfast food.

You try to grin too wide at the messages. He seems a little… unsure, maybe. You’re into it.

Me: I love lunch, and breakfast- for lunch or breakfast. What do you think about dinner?

You nab your red bodysuit and slip yourself into it, then fight on your favourite pair of pink corduroy pants. Gazing at yourself in the mirror, you frown, look at your closet, frown harder.

No.

“You’re hot.” You growl to your mirror self. “I am hot. And I am loveable and tonight is going to be great and tomorrow you can go out with Jason and kiss that gorgeous face.”

His visage pops up before you, scarred and unusual.

You hope his scars are more innocent than- well, than other scars in this city.

Maybe he got them in the womb, or terrible acne that forms perfect lines.

Oh boy.

Jason: I usually work nights, late, and I’d hate to cut our night short because I need to get to work

Your lips purse.

Oh shit!

Dickard: I’m coming up, you better look hot

Shoving away your awful, awful, just awful realization, you look back up at yourself in the mirror and grimace. Throwing on a light coat of lipstick and a layer of mascara, finishing off the makeup you’d been wandering through while texting with-

No.

Leaping up, you grab your jacket- that guys jacket-

Oh hell, you’re so dumb.

Pushing out every thought to do with night time activities and vigilantes and, worse, villain criminals, you throw on the jacket, put your phone and wallet in the pockets, slip on some shoes and snatch your keys.

“Shit,” you murmur, spinning around and nabbing your perfume from the table and spritzing yourself and the jacket. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Bounding for the door, you wrench it open just as Dick raises his hand to knock. You stare at each other, for a moment, while you pant.

“Running late?”

Shoving Dick backwards into the hall, you lock up behind yourself and turn back to him with a cheesy smile. “Show me your Daddy, Dicky.”

His expression goes blank and you hiss out a breath.

“No. No! Don’t-”

“I think maybe-”

“Oh shut up,” you growl and he laughs, throwing an arm over your shoulders and leading you out of the building. “Y’know, I’ve don’t know that much about your family. Like I know the cast, obviously but you’ve literally never told me where you live, and you’ve never-”

Dick grimaces, and you can tell he’s unsure and maybe embarrassed.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll figure it out, I doubt they know much about me, anyway!” You laugh, your throat tight and panicked and he offers a weak smile and a quick squeeze.

  “Oh, f*ck me, Dick.” You stare at the gates.

The Gates.

Not to heaven, or arkham, or anywhere so pedestrian, oh no.

“F*cking Wayne Manor, Grayson? As in Dick Grayson, adopted son of Bruce Wayne?”

Dick shrinks in his seat, driving up the lane, since the gates had opened automatically, for him.

“I’m going to kick your god damn ass, Grayson, I’m going to end you, you’re the worst, literally the worst,” the car stops, “you’re so f*cking dead, you dumb bitch, I can’t believe you’ve done this,” your door opens, “and I’m just so excited to meet your family, Dick! Hahaha!”

You take the hand proffered through the car door and rise to come face to face with- shit- Tim Drake.

Recognisable, famous Tim Drake.

“Hi! Dicks brother Tim! He’s so proud of you,” you greet and Tims lips twitch upwards at the sides, though his slightly warm, slightly protocol expression changes little beyond that.

“Welcome, Y/N, Dick’s mentioned you a lot and we’re all so excited to finally meet you. In the flesh.”

You try not to frown at his weird phrasing, only for it to get worse.

“Oh. Did Jason leave his jacket in your car again, Dick?” Tim asks, his gaze moving from the jacket on your shoulders to Dick, who is sidling up beside you.

Jacket. Jay. Jason. Phone number. Freelancer. Night time work.

Shit, shit, shit, please be a coincidence, please be a coincidence. F*cking Dick, f*cking shit, damn, heck.

You smile absently at the pair.

“Oh, no, this one is apparently very similar to Jasons but Y/N has assured me she found it in her building,” Dick assures him, and you look between the two, gauging their reactions.

Tim grimaces, and Dick frowns at him.

A vigilante gave you this jacket. You just got the phone number of a possible vigilante named Jason. Dicks brother Jay is named Jason and he’s got a jacket like this.

Please.

Hell.

You spot others emerging behind Tim, from the gigantic Wayne Manor doors.

Dick’s eyes dart to them and he slings a comforting arm over your shoulders.

“Let’s get in and out of the cold, hey Tim? C’mon, lead the way.” His voice is jovial but he holds you back a second as Tim sends him a look then starts toward the doors. His face tilts toward yours, a soft whisper coming through your hair to your ear. “I’m so sorry, I should have said something sooner, it’s a- it’s hard to explain, you know I’m adopted, we’re all pretty adopted around here and it’s such a difficult situation and its not like I have the greatest relationship with Bruce and- I’m sorry, Y/N, I should have said something sooner.”

The apology brushes over you and you tilt slightly against him, your forehead setting against his shoulder and he presses a kiss onto the top of your head.

“Thanks, kiddo.”

“We’re two years apart, you galumphing oaf.” You growl back, just as you step through the doors and come face to face with a group of people staring at the pair of you.

Your eyes lock on a beautiful red haired woman, her face stark for a long moment as she takes in the pair of you before everything on her face is hidden with a blink of an eye.

Oh crap.

You step out of Dicks grasp, pointedly, and offer a weak smile to the red haired girl. Barbara.

Shit, hell.

Everyone stares at the movement and it takes you a second before you see him.

“Is that Jasons jacket?” A kid asks loudly, Damian, hopefully, but your eyes don’t stray from the man at the back.

Jason from the pet shop.

“Relax everyone,” Dick laughs, his eyes moving from you to Jason and the pair of you stare at the obvious expression on his face. Dicks voice trails off. “It’s not Jasons…”

“Jesus and the Joker,” you gripe, your eyes darting from Barbara to Jason to Dick.

“So this is your jacket?” Dick asks, gesturing to the beat up brown coat on your shoulders. “How’d she get it? How’d you get it?”

Jasons head twitches in a shake, eyes locked on yours and you squint at him.

“No! Jason. Don’t make her lie. How’d this happen? Why’s she still got it?” He glances at the staring group and sighs. “She got it like a week ago.”

“Three days.”

You grit your teeth, glaring at Jason.

“Shall we, everyone, head into the living room? Alfred, dinner?”

Your eyes dart to Bruce Wayne, his voice and face clearly recognisable from several television segments, and you watch as the group silently and with thick tension move single file through a door. Beside Bruce, another man, Alfred, you guess, steps up close to him and murmurs something before Bruce nods.

Beside you, Dick tangles your fingers.

“Hey, best friend?”

Your eyes slide up to his and he offers you a pathetic smile.

“Dick,” you say softly, as the others exit, leaving the pair of you a moment. “Cards on the table, a group of those people who run around at night visited me and then that night you were out with Jay one of them visited again and he gave me his jacket and then he took it back but then he gave it back and then Jason came into the pet shop today before you did and I got his number and I texted him and I realized that hot guy Jason from the store was some kind of vigilante guy because of what he said and now I get here and they’re the same person and your brother Jason is the Red Hood? And he’s running around with other vigilantes who have hair the same as these people we’ve just walked into and please call me crazy, Dick, that I’m a big ol’ loon, please?”

You don’t mess with the f*cked system in Gotham and you certainly don’t get involved with someone involved with the f*cked system.

“I’m Nightwing.” Dick says in a rush. “And kinda Batman.”

Your nose wrinkles as you try not to burst into tears.

Just… One thing after another.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Dick pulls you into his chest and you don’t resist. He’s Nightwing but he’s still your Dickie, your platonic soulmate. “I was going to tell you soon, but I know how you feel about all of it and I didn’t want you to hate me or my family before you met them.”

“Dick!” Someone yells obnoxiously before being loudly hushed.

“I didn’t know about this Jason thing, I wish he’d have spoken to me, this is my fault for mentioning you to them.”

You hug him tight before pulling back and shaking out your hair. Pasting on a smile, you beam at your best friend.

“It’s a party, Dick, for a dog, I think we should focus on that for now and hope I haven’t ruined any chance to make Barbara like me.” You laugh half-heartedly, before taking his hand and stepping purposefully toward the doors everyone else waits behind.

Heck this was a heck one like just definitely took a while and quite stressful to write idk what was going on