#'what do you mean nothing has a gender and articles aren't a thing? i feel like there aren't enough words in this sentence'

[terresdebrume]

Favorite question I got this week from a student: "Do French people ever get [the gender of words] wrong?"

I thought it was a very sweet thought and a glimpse into the mind of someone who grew up with two non gendered languages^^

For anyone wondering, the answer is no. I mean, really little kids yes, but 1) adults correct you and 2) if a chair (feminine) is broken, the sentence in French would be "She's broken, we need to fix her" so like. We get reminders^^

[yanderes-galore]

Oooh what if wild Toothless who never got shot down by hiccup , toothless who can still fly , toothless who got attached very quickly to a injured human who stuck in his cove/nest❄️anon (yandere pet like concept/hcs/thoughts pretty please ) 

Yesss, here's what I got!

Yandere! Feral/Wild! Toothless Concept

Pairing: Animal/Pet-Like

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Kidnapping, Violence, Blood, Dragons killing dragons, Forced/Dubious companionship.

I really like the idea of the roles being switched!

Instead of an injured dragon befriending a human, an injured human befriends a dragon.

This no doubt takes place during the times where humans and dragons are still fighting.

Toothless is still the last of his kind, an elusive species.

You've heard of dragons, you've seen what they can do.

Many vikings tell you to fear them.

You didn't believe them until you were attacked.

You met Toothless as you were hiding from dragons who attacked you.

The Night Fury no doubt smelled your blood from your wounds.

You aren't injured too bad but certainly can't make it back home.

Not with the dragons in the area.

You aren't sure what to think when you see a Night Fury attack the dragons around you.

Toothless sustains some injuries but for the most part is fine.

You fear for your life when the Night Fury approaches you.

Both of you are covered in blood, the attackers are gone.

His eyes are in slits for a moment but he notices you're harmless.

Weak, even.

You could be easy prey.

Instead, the Night Fury doesn't kill you.

Instead he nudges you softly, maybe even tries to clean your wounds.

This Night Fury would be more scared of you than you are of him.

He isn't hungry, he isn't scared, he just seems curious... concerned.

You keep staying still, even as the dragon lays beside you to watch you.

Since Hiccup didn't find Toothless in this you would be the one to give him such a name.

Maybe as you heal more you fed him, allowing Toothless to show his retractable teeth.

The cool thing about this version of Toothless is definitely his flight.

He doesn't need anyone to fly, he's a regular Night Fury.

Yet despite this the dragon befriends you, an injured human.

He doesn't eat humans, it's actually not in the Night Fury diet (Look at the Night Fury article on the wiki)

So he isn't interested in eating you.

This would explain why he chooses to protect you instead.

The fact you're both "harmless" is what makes you able to relax.

That is until Toothless decides to take you away.

After all, you can't be safe here.

Toothless means well when he tosses you onto his back and flies to the cave he usually resides in.

The dragon hates that you give him the cold shoulder afterwards.

He brings you back all sorts of food to care for you.

He wants his human friend to heal.

He feels you're being hunted just as much as him.

You don't harm him because of a few reasons.

You wouldn't be able to go home... and you are admittedly attached to this dragon as your only friend and savior.

This is what makes you accept the supplies you're given.

You even allow Toothless to cuddle around you.

The issue is the dragon never lets you leave.

Nothing gets in the den, nothing gets out.

Toothless has taken the role of your protector.

Your family may think you've been killed.

You haven't.

In fact, you're really safe.

Toothless, as a Night Fury, is intelligent and powerful.

He understands your social queues and gets you what you need.

If you tried to leave then the dragon forces you back in the den.

If he lets you go... you'll die.

Dragons who try to sneak up on you are quickly attacked by Toothless.

Night Furies don't eat other dragons, but that doesn't stop Toothless from tearing into them.

Toothless washes off the blood of his kills before bounding to you.

Yet you know what he's done as you can smell the metallic smell on his scales and breath.

Toothless is loyal and will protect you no matter what it takes.

Why should you even go home? Home won't accept you anymore for having a dragon...

It's just you and Toothless now.

[pillarsalt]

Wikipedia anon here, i feel SO embarrassed for misremembering so much about that article. the concept of the cotton cieling and the reminder of the sheer amount of institutions/resources that have been taken over by tims/tras makes me so upset i didn't want to recheck the article again, even though i should have. (it was some time ago i saw the rb of your comic and did my first check, then saw your comic again and remembered about doing so, to clarify. yes i'm an absolute mess i apologize)

i appreciate you so much for not only getting what i was trying (and failing lmao) to explain but also looking into and linking the talk page because JFC!!! so sharing differing opinions for a topic (with cited sources!!) on wikipedia is a no-no, but it's totally fine when you and your friends retroactively decide pro-topic views make you look bad and so you delete the entire article and rewrite the definition of said topic to be about generically "being left out of spaces :.-(" instead of being honest about it being homophobic, rapist rhetoric (which is the reason you're trying to hide it in the first place) hoooooooly SHIT

if genderism ever blows over (with how long it's stuck around for, and with no one being willing to talk about objective/legal concerns like the WPATH files and Maya Forestater, let alone even have a conversation with a GC person, at this point i'm not hopeful...) everyone who contributed to the widescale abuse and trauma of women (especially lesbians), girls, gay men, gnc people, and tip (medicalized or not) could spend the rest of their lives begging for forgiveness and it wouldn't be anywhere near enough. not that i'm expecting them to do that, of course. it's not even blown over yet and we can see from the cotton ceiling article that they'll absolutely try to just gaslight everyone and pretend it never happened (and if it did, it wasn't that bad, and if it was bad it was your fault for not doing your research, etc etc)

ANYWAY i'd rather end on something positive, so thank you again for sharing your wonderful art on here!! seeing there's a talented, feminist female artist who's into pokemon and mlp but hasn't bought into trans ideology is so healing for me. hope you have a lovely day!!! :) :) :)

I wouldn't be embarrassed, I mean the article's not completely empty but it's obviously been stripped down to next to nothing compared to what it used to contain, and half the cited sources aren't really relevant at all. They briefly mention the MTF porn actor who coined the term but failed to mention the scores of other popular MTFs who were vehement proponents of the rhetoric (Riley J Dennis is the first one that comes to mind). And yeah that dude in the discussion page saying he's going to be watching the page and reverting any edits he doesn't like, isn't that very wikipedia illegal? I don't edit wikipedia but I'm fairly certain that camping on an article to make sure your edits aren't edited is not allowed.

It's definitely been a trend with "progressives" to flip the script on anything they've done and can see was wrong in retrospect, claiming "no actually YOU said this, not me." It's a very good reason to keep things documented, and I have huge respect for people who keep the receipts so we can hold people accountable for the harmful bullshit they've spread around. (Speaking of which, I think now is a good time to remind everyone that Eli Erlick is a rapist, another interesting fact that has been unsuccessfully scrubbed from the internet.)

Thanks for your wonderful words as well :) Have a great day too!

[arisuinsomniac]

She's a lighthouse

It's difficult to understate my relationship with the ocean.

Simply put, I am absolutely terrified of it.

I'm an entomophobe, and will absolutely panic when I am in touching range of the most harmless insect (we can add spiders there too, I know they're not insects).

The sea is different, it's not the panic of sea weed brushing against my legs after I was told we were in a jellyfish area that makes me scared. It's the deep dark depths of its vastness; it's control, or lack thereof, of knowing there is nothing you can do if it decides to swallow you.

I'm not afraid of deep sea creatures, although they can be creepy in the same way insects are to me. I love sharks, to the point of my scalesona (fishsona?) being one. I'm simply afraid of the darkness, of not being able to find someone else, no land in sight, no compass to point me north and nothing to illuminate my way home.

During my early gender questioning, while watching video essays and reading articles about the reality of being trans and what it means to be trans, my biggest companions were three games:

Dredge: a very fun and minimal (and deceitfully paced) game about dredging treasure from the deep sea and fishing all manners of fishes in an increasingly eldritch world.

Sea of Thieves: a surprisingly fun full loot game in the high seas where you are the proud captain of a pirate ship in search for booty (the doubloon kind).

And Raft: a game about building a raft and finding out why the world has been reduced to an ocean planet while fending off the constant threat, and eventually food source, of a shark named Bruce (they're all named Bruce, stop asking questions).

It was while playing those games that I slowly hatched into a barely functional girlboyfailure of an enby - and it was playing those games that I finally allowed myself to look into the vastness of me.

And the vastness terrified me.

Needless to say, it was formative.

Thus, when I invoke the imagery of the ocean, of sailing and of lighthouses, I feel I can put words to feelings about how things are going in my life.

"This room has four walls" talked about the incessant need to be looking for a place I can belong, and the unwillingness to leave the places I find myself comfortable in even if they bring me unbearable pain.

When I talk about land, it's the desired place of belonging - the place where I'll finally be safe and happy and allowed to grow and settle in without fear of it being taken from me; and somewhat paradoxically, the room is the ship (or raft) - a means to an end but still solid ground even if unstable and risking capsizing at any moment.

However... there is no land to be found anywhere.

Or at least, it feels like that.

Anglerfish have a reputation. Not the one they deserve, they're usually pinned as "that creepy fish with the glowy antenna and crooked teeth" by the people that aren't spending an unhealthy amount of time looking over sea critters - but their reputation among sea nerds like myself is of a lure hunter (thus, anglerfish, we humans are so good at slapping two words into one).

It's insidious tactics, to lure prey with the enticing promise of safety from hunger only to leap out out the darkness. By then it's always too late for a safe getaway - sometimes we cut out loses and hope to survive another day. Sometimes, we succumb to our wounds and become a meal.

Sometimes, in my ocean, anglerfish come to the surface.

Every single day, I struggle with feeling like there's two (four?) people inside me. I wake up in different skin every time.

They hate and love, self harming and harm avoidant, euphoric and depressive - sometimes there's nothing, the skin is empty, it's just meat.

Words I know I wrote feel "wrong", they make me uncomfortable, like second hand embarrassment for a cringe sibling. It's a feeling approaching dysphoria: to know you are the one that's meant to have written that but it feeling like it wasn't.

Sometimes, when things get too much, she likes to speak up. Thoughts that don't feel mine but are definitely mine. She aims to hurt me, or protect me - she reminds me that they abandoned us first, and that she'll do the same, and that she already did. "We'll remain by ourselves", she says sometimes.

I don't hate her. I don't think she hates me. I hate that she hates. She hates that I love.

We both remind each other that we'll never get to the lighthouse, it's just another anglerfish. We are both scared of being bitten again by those that promised us safety. We're terrified of the dark vastness of our ocean, but most of all we are terrified of the distant lights.

I remind us that it must be out there, a true lighthouse. She prepares us to flee from the anglerfish. We've both learned to scope it out, sail in circles, never too close, just far enough. Eventually, the light goes out and we're left in darkness, and we can't be sure what it was.

Whenever we sit in our room, staring at code due the end of the week that refuses to complete itself, nothing to distract, our head perfectly attached, we begin to wonder what that light is.

"We pushed her away. We push everyone away. Now she won't talk to us. She already has someone else, we are nobody's favourite person - we barely make second to last. She hates us, and we should hate her for it."

"A message came in. I want to keep talking more with her. I want to know all about what is happening with her, and I want to be able to help. I hate that we are so far away and I can't do anything. I love her and I'm sure she at least likes us."

We circle the light.

To me, she is a lighthouse.

To her, she is also a lighthouse.

We both want her to be a lighthouse. Even when we both think we know she is probably an anglerfish.

We already expect it, we have been on a losing streak since early in life.

But we want her to be the lighthouse. We want her to accept us, in all our violence and love, we want to give everything to her, we want her to appease us when we're depressive and match our energy when we're euphoric. We want all of her for us, and to give all of us for her - to shape in the image she finds best.

It's ok if she hurts us, as long as she doesn't leave. We don't care if the light is an anglerfish even if it bites us, as long as the light doesn't go out.

To us, even an anglerfish is a lighthouse.

[vintage-bentley]

You explained it so eloquently and easy to follow and yet I know there's people who would look at our opinion and label us as the bigots for having those boundaries in the first place. Gay men can get away with not being forced to sleep with people they aren't attracted to but as soon as lesbians say the same thing, we get labeled as some type of phobic person. It's been frustrating as a lesbian to see the difference between how lesbian and bisexual women are treated in the community versus how gay or bisexual men get treated. This also extends to the content. I'm sure you've seen the difference in reception of shows like First Kill versus shows out there about m/m couples. W/W content gets all these high standards and expectations and people say it's "honest criticism" when the same standards aren't used on the m/m content. At this point I can't even tell the difference between how straight people would treat me as a lesbian versus how my supposed own community treats me. But it gives me a little hope when I find people who also feel these frustrations because then I know I'm not alone in my experience and I have to believe that reason will eventually win.

Thank you! I'm guessing you're referring to this?

(Warning, this got long because I have Lots Of Thoughts)

It's sad, but you're right. Somehow it's become the popular take within our own "community" that boundaries are bad.

I wouldn't say that gay men are able to avoid the "cotton ceiling" rhetoric, since there's the "boxer ceiling" too. It's just that this has been happening to lesbians for much longer, and since nobody helped us fight back, homophobes felt emboldened to target gay men too. To be completely honest I'm not sure things would be as bad as they are now if people had just listened to lesbians.

Still, even though it does happen to gay men too, I agree that women (specifically lesbians) are still the most affected. I genuinely think the TQ+ community hates us, or at least dislikes us. They really do treat us just like regular straight homophobes do. Then again, I think lots of them literally are just straight homophobes who've convinced themselves that they can change gender and become gay.

I'll put my thoughts on the response to First Kill under a read more since again, it got long.

As far as the response to lesbian/bisexual woman content goes, I'll be honest and say that I'm probably not in the best place to judge right now. On my old blog I was following a ton of artists and blogs from different fandoms I'd been in since making the account, so I saw a fair bit of response to whatever new thing was out. I still haven't gotten around to combing through the blogs I was following there and following more people here, so I'm really only following the few blogs I remembered when making this one. I also followed a bunch of tags before and am following none here because I want to be at peace lol.

What I'm getting at is that I used to be seeing widespread response to media so I'd be able to see how people reacted to different things, but now I'm really just seeing a small circle of people. So while I could easily say that I saw a shit ton of Good Omens fan art before even knowing what it was, but am seeing hardly any First Kill fan art on my dash, and could blame it on different attitudes towards M/M and F/F...it's more likely that I was following far more people than I am now.

However, just to compare the little that I have seen...Good Omens was all "yay queer representation!!!!" despite nothing being remotely explicit. Our Flag Means Death seemed to have SO MANY articles about how amazing and "queer" it was. But I saw an article about First Kill is falling into the trope of teen lesbian vampires or something?? As if that's not a very niche genre.

The show is still fairly new so I'm not expecting fireworks and fanfare just yet...but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it didn't get the same attention and praise that OFMD or even GO did. Despite doing OFMD's kiss scene far more often and intensely, and GO's star-crossed-lovers trope as actual star-crossed-lovers instead of star-crossed-Not Gay Best Friends Who Could Be Queer (on tumblr/twitter, not on screen) But Certainly Not Gay.

Here's what came up when I searched the show up, make of this what you will.

Fairly positive, but I'm just skimming through the top right article and here's an excerpt;

Like First Kill, the queer love story [Heartstopper] was a whole season drop with only eight episodes. In Heartstopper, however, with its dreamy, melodic music and palpable longing, the romance felt tangible. Unlike First Kill it was able to pull viewers wholeheartedly into Nick and Charlie's love story in the most breathtaking way.

You really feel their wants, desires and their connection. You ache for their yearning so badly that some have to watch between laced fingers pressed over eyes because their agony and angst is just too much for some. (Us, we are some).

Yet despite the mortal peril and the forbidden nature of Jules and Cal's romance – the ingredients for a hot and steamy love story – it's just not believable.

So what I'm getting is that soft sanitised boys in love set to "dreamy" music = believable love story...but horny teenage girls in love = not believable. Ok. Sure.

The idea that Calliope and Juliette got together too fast is a critique I see a lot about this show...and to some extent I get it. Maybe people were going in hoping for a slow burn and are disappointed. It did move fairly fast, but I was okay with it. Personally, I went in wanting F/F romance so I got what I came for. It was nice to just be guaranteed a love story without dealing with all the tension first. With gay romance I'm very used to tons of build up despite straight romance happening right away, so it was nice to see a gay relationship get the straight treatment. And I really don't see what's so unrealistic about teenagers being quick to move things along...that's just the teen love trope for you.

I also don't get why First Kill, a vampire/monster hunter show, needs to be "realistic" about its romance. People certainly didn't care about realism when it was Jim from OFMD being canonically they/themmed instead of being a realistic woman disguising as a man, which is arguably the bigger stray from reality than horny teenagers (and a sexist one!).

People make excuses for OFMD all the time ("it's just a silly pirate show, they didn't care about historical accuracy! Look at the costumes!") but are harping on the fantasy show for being unrealistic? I can't help but feel that part of the enchantment with OFMD is that it's men, and part of the "honest criticism" with First Kill is that it's women. People seem to like F/F content much less than they do M/M. Ao3 tags prove it.

Despite the seemingly higher standards placed on First Kill, I've luckily seen plenty positive feedback about it! But just like I was curious what the reaction to OFMD would've been had it been about women...I'm very curious about what the reaction to First Kill would've been had it been about men. I almost wonder if OFMD wouldn't have been as big as it was/is, and First Kill would have taken its place.

[posi-pan]

I noticed the other day that on the Wikipedia page for bisexuality, it includes a part in the beginning about how bi can be defined as attraction to all genders/identities, and “that is also known as pansexuality” and it just… ugh. It bothered me. Not the fact that some bi folks define themselves that way or the fact that some bi/pan folks do use the terms interchangeably, but the fact that it’s written into the Wikipedia like it’s just A Fact and that’s that, because… that’s not just that at all lmao.

Some people use bi/pan interchangeably. Some in the community feel they are the same and define them the same for themselves. That’s totally fine and great for those people! But not all of us do that. I personally don’t. I know a few other pan people who don’t, and a few bi people who don’t. This stigma that pan and bi are basically just the same or constantly overlap has been shown to be untrue so many times but it feels like no one ever bothers to fix it or correct it, so it just keeps spreading and it leads to confusion and can lead to even more pan/biphobia between the communities. Just because they are similar or can share similarities doesn’t mean they’re the same!!

Like, idk. I could be reading waaay too into it but putting it down like that, in a way it feels like they’re just implying pansexuality is just another version of bisexuality, instead of acknowledging that they’re two different labels that can overlap, but don’t always. If the article had introduced pansexuality in that way, I wouldn’t mind it as much. But it doesn’t, and it feels like it’s just putting pan as a secondary version of bi, and I just… really dislike that.

i just checked it and to me it reads as saying "bi can also be defined as x, and that definition is also known as pan" not saying "bi is also known as pan" ya know? idk that was just how i read it. but the way you read it is totally valid too. i can see where you're coming from and how it might make people think bi and pan are the same or universally interchangeable.

but in general, wikipedia is not fact. the things on there should not be taken as fact. anyone can make an account and edit pages on there (as shown by the recent vandalism of the pan flag page by panphobes/exclusionists that resulted in not only the creation of the pan flag being erased all together -at one point it said "found online in 2010" or something- but also the page being protected so only certain people can edit it).

i'm more annoyed by how fucking trash the pansexuality page is. there is so much pan history missing and literal lies, such as pansexuality first being used in the '90s. just because there's a book that says that, doesn't mean it's true. especially when there are countless sources proving pansexuality existed before the '90s. the people who add onto these pages don't give a shit about facts.

there are also paragraphs and paragraphs about how bi is being harmed and stigmatized by pan/pan people, there are panphobic arguments presented as thoughtful contribution, and a section about how bi is an umbrella term. just so much of the stuff on there came from bi people or sources about bi.

and it's like....why is this on the pan page? why aren't you discussing the harm being done to pan and pan people? the erasure of our history? the vilifying of us and our identity? why aren't you quoting us? even the sources for jasper creating the pan flag link to other sources instead of directly linking to their posts about it.

wikipedia is garbage to pan people but this is nothing new.

(i wonder how they'd react if someone added my pan week to the section about pan awareness day lmao)

also i'm sorry i kind of just went off on a different topic than what you were talking about

[knowledgepowerandiamheretoteach]

how can someone be attracted to a gender identity lmao whats the difference between a cis het man and a masc trans woman? almost nothing ngl. you cannot base sexualities on gender bro + some trans men are okay with dating lesbians and lesbians will always be homosexuals not homogenders wtf ?? stop being fucking homophobic

Bra, firstly medically inaccurate:

https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/55/15/865

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/can-trans-women-get-periods

(I can link a hundred more if you'd like)

Sex is bimodal so that doesn't work either ☠️ Plus in what language in my native language gay was always used and the term homosexual wasn't a thing until 1920s which even than was used in medicine. "Saying homosexual means same SEX attracted" isn't the got you you think it since being gay has been referred to in differently in different cultures. The bioessentialisim was left in 1960s for a reason and western definitions aren't the only things that exist.

https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/

https://daily.jstor.org/gay-culture-ancient-wonder-or-modern-creation/

I feel like you won't read anything I give since you might think it's evil TRA propaganda but an example is trans woman from the Numba people in Sudan before colonization that married man being seen as a straight couple.

https://archive.org/details/TheNubaAnAnthropologicalStudyOfTheHillTribesInKordofan

Also my views on labels have changed but not do to the dumb system of TERFs. İt's do to the fact that sexuality is complicated and nobody has the right to gate keep labels. This also goes for trans woman and cis woman or t4t trans woman that date choosing the label.

Human sexuality:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexuality

Crazy how their is several things that go into it huh.

How about you stop saying "homophobic" to things you don't like and cheaping the actual meaning. Literally as someone how has almost lost their educational life and friends do to it seeing it used like this by TERFs is the most disgusting thing.

[lavendeerlesbian]

Ten stages to genocide which you haven't explained at all and you haven't linked me to any sources still. Which trans laws are you referring to? The ones that trample over women's rights to single sex spaces and sports? The ones that make it hate speech to even talk about sex-based oppression and eliminates women's free speech? The ones that make it illegal to even organize any kind of single sex gathering which harms lesbians and gay men on top of women? The laws that argue for genital "corrective" surgeries for children that intersex people have been fighting against for years? The ones that are allowing sex offender males into women's prisons so they can rape and assault female inmates and staff? The ones that are pushing for identity changes being allowed, even in the cases of men on sex offender registries which helps them avoid putting themselves on said registries and helps them to offend again? The ones touted as "trans healthcare" which has nothing to do with regular healthcare for trans people and has everything to do with affirming surgeries and hormones which goes against the Hippocratic Oath? The laws that fight for those procedures to be covered by health insurances which takes resources away from real disabled people that need actual life-saving medicines and surgeries? Those trans laws?

Saying "science evolves, sex is a spectrum because I say so" does nothing to convince me or anyone else on the planet. But yeah let's just ignore that sex-based oppression exists and erase thousands of years of oppression against the female sex! That is definitely how reality works. Intersex conditions also are literally medical conditions, there is no imaginary medicalizing going on.

So like just for the sake of clarity here, are you agreeing that the sex work industry is harmful and should be abolished? Also, even if you claim it's just because transwomen are in sex work (which is a lot less common in the US as opposed to say Brazil by the way), what about all the cases of convicted sex offender transwomen who are placed in female prisons, rape and assault female inmates and staff, serve their sentence, and as soon as they are released identify as men again? Are those women just acceptable casualties for you? Also I literally provided you with sites that log trans crimes and has news articles with individual names and faces attached... Which adds up to hundreds of examples (at least 300) of transwomen who aren't in sex work and who are commiting violent and sex crimes against mostly women and children. Which makes your whole point here moot.

Storme was a butch lesbian and did not identify as a man. She is part of LGB history which is not part of the T. And y'all are twisting the narrative, Fred Sargeant became a cop because he saw how awful cops were and wanted to help change the system. But I have to give you props for not mentioning Malcom as a transwoman who threw the first brick at Stonewall, which is what most of you TRAs lie about. Anyways, Fred Sargeant is protecting gay rights and if you consider his sign "transphobic", then that means the trans narrative is inherently homophobic. Crying transphobia at homosexual people for being homosexual is homophobic.

Okay so animals have neutral sexes and no gender identity which you agree with which is why we used sex based pronouns. And for some reason you cannot also apply that to humans (who are also animals by the way) because you care more about gender identity. You can't treat sex as a neutral thing that only describes what type of body you have. You have to make it about stereotypes or feelings. That is sexist. And also upholds gender and does nothing to abolish it, by the way.

Lol nah you said it in bad faith because you cannot wrap your head around actual rejecting of gender and come to the most convoluted and confusing conclusion which is anyone can claim they are anything instead of just recognizing reality.

How do terfs know that gender is purely a social construct, push the belief to get rid of it, and not see the irony of enforcing pronouns and other gendered terms?

They are legit a part of gender and gender expression. A butch lesbian can preferrably go by Sir and still call himself a woman as much as he can wear a tux and cut his hair short.

Like, I know it's probably because there's a focus on being anti transgender before anything, and when one of the common methods to show acceptance is asking for pronouns, they want to push against it. It's so contradictory though.

"They're based on sex!" Tell that to LGBTQ history and culture that was around before either of us were born. Might as well tell me that women can't wear pants while still claiming to be against gender roles.

[karls-writing-space]

『 Backstory 』

➵ Any TWs? :

➵ Subtle Mentions of Transphobia.

➵ Beau Romano - his deadname being Bianca - was born a year after his older sister, Faye. He lived with his semi-wealthy parents, Camilia and Dylan Romano in Manitoba.

When he was in second grade, Beau began to have a big sprout of creativity. He had drawn pictures of people and anthropomorphic animals, and create small little tales about these people/animals he has drawn. He Drew more and more of these as time slowly passed, and he enjoyed telling stories about these drawings. This had grown into a hobby, and something he enjoyed thoroughly.

His older sister came out when she was nine that she felt like a girl and that she was attracted to girls. Now, their parents are very accepting people and proceeded to assist and support Faye - who was formerly known as Lovino - get what she needed to transition.

Beau happily cheered on his big sister on, supporting her and showering her with love. He celebrated her transitions and her relationships happily, happy that he had such a prideful older sister.

By the time Beau was ten, he had begun to experiment with his sexuality by feeling some weird way towards a guy in music class. He talked with this guy more and more, and these feelings continued to grow.

After a couple of weeks, he felt the same way towards a girl in music class too. The feeling for the boy stayed, but now he had feelings for a boy and a girl.

One day, while walking to school with his mom, he heard two girls behind him talking about the people they liked. One of the girls had said that she was Bisexual, to which little Beau tugged on his mother's sleeve and asked what "Bisexual" meant. The woman explained that it was when someone liked two or more genders.

Beau put that into thought, and not even a minute later, he exclaimed "I'm Bisexual!"

His mom smiles and ruffled her son's - then daughter's - head. While Beau was still a kid, and she thought that Beau didn't know what he was talking about, the boy knew exactly what he was talking about.

Those feelings of the boy and girl faded over time. When Beau was twelve, he had fallen for another person. There had been this really cute girl in class who enjoyed drawing, and boy, what a talented artist she is.

Slowly, but surely, Beau began to fall in love with this girl, and spent time with her. Months went by, and the two had fallen in love.

The girl had confessed to Beau, which he accepted.

These two were a great, healthy Lesbian couple at the time. They were both very happy and loving. Beau had welcomed his girlfriend into the family, to which they welcomed with open arms.

The relationship lasted for two years until they fell out of love. The spark was gone. Their breakup wasn't nasty - they awkwardly stated that they lost that romantic spark on both sides. Beau had turned thirteen at the time. Beau and his ex-lover are on good terms to this day.

Once puberty hit, Beau looked at the body he had at the moment. He didn't quite fit with how it was. It made him feel like he didn't fit in a girl's body. He wanted to cut off his developing melons. So, he decided to talk to Faye later that evening, whom had fully transitioned. She was a beautiful woman. As he talked to her about what had been up, Faye stated that Beau could be Transgender, and even gave him a few articles on Gender Dysphoria.

Weeks of looking into gender identities later, Beau took the label "Trans Male" and used it to describe himself. With encouragement from Faye, he came out to his parents, who accepted him. He didn't want to transition as quickly as Faye, and wanted to take it slow. Testosterone and binding first.

As he grew older, Beau got bullied for being a Transgender Bisexual man. He was experiencing Transphobia from a few of his fellow peers. He knew that not everyone would accept him for being who he was, but this hurt quite a bit. Being bullied for this wasn't fair - he had every right to express himself! - but nooo, people were idiots.

His love for writing had grown more and more over the years. He began to write little stories that he presented in school and posted online. People loved his little stories. Whether they were fanfiction or characters and universes he had created in his head, they received a lot of positive feedback. Sure, there were haters, bullies, trolls, and rude people in general, but Beau didn't pay attention to them too much.

Beau had gotten top surgery when he was fifteen. He had been on testosterone for a year, and he had been binding for that time being. He loved his new, flat chest. Sure, he would have a scar on his chest from the surgery, but it didn't really bother him. He was happy that his tibbies were deleted. Now he could feel like a guy somewhat.

During the time passed from fourteen and fifteen years old, Beau had been watching a show known as "Total Drama" with Faye. The show was appealing to the young teen. The risky challenges were entertaining, most of the cast was likable, and it was really entertaining for the young boy. He'd talk about joining the show every now and then and would think about what his label or cliche would be on the show.

Timeskip to now, Beau and Faye are sixteen and seventeen respectively. After watching an ad to audition for the next season of Total Drama, Faye looked over at her little brother.

"Hey... You should audition to be on there!"

Beau, liking the idea, auditioned for the show. Once his audition was seen, Beau was invited to be on a season of Total Drama.

『 Voice Claim 』

『 Miscellaneous Facts』

➵ Theme Song

➵ Quotes

"O-Oh, hello...!"

"I'm Beau. It's nice to meet you!"

"It's too people-y in there. I-I'd like to stay right here."

"He's... Kinda pretty."

"Are you lonely? I could hang out with you if you'd like."

"I-It's not a diary! It's just a journal that I put my writing and ideas in."

"Sorry, I'd rather be by myself. I-It's nothing personal -- I j-just don't like large groups of people."

"Sorry... I'm rambling again, aren't I? Sorry about that..."

"He's a... He's a man. And I'm just a boy."

"Ciao, bello..!" (Hello, handsome..!)

"Aren't you guys a little too old for a bedtime story?"

"Fine, fine. Once upon a time, there were a few guys on an island who needed to go the fuck to sleep. G'night, guys."

"What do you mean that 'isn't a good bedtime story? I think it's a brilliant story."

"Fine... There was once this God named Fóllame de lado-"

"Hey - do you wanna fuck around with the others?"

"H-Hey! I apologize for interrupting what you were doing, but... I'd like to confess something if that's o-okay? Look, I'll cut to the chase. I... love you, dude. And not in some bromance way. Like... I have romantic feelings for you. I love you so much I could scream it to the world..! I hope you f-feel the same way. And if you don't? That's p-perfectly fine."

"Good morning, mio amore."

"Sorry, but could you like, shut up for five seconds? Thanks..."

➵ Ship Names (OC X Crush or OC X OC)

Duncan x Beau = BeauDun/ BeauCan

DJ x Beau = BJ / BeauJ

Alejandro x Beau = AleBeau

Mike x Beau = Meau/Bike

Lightning x Beau = Blightning/BeauLight

Topher x Beau = Beaupher / Beaupher

Shawn x Beau = Sheau / Bawn

➵ Random Facts

• If they're comfortable, Beau calls his male friends "Bello" (Handsome), and his female friends "Bella" (Beautiful).

For Nonbinary folk, it depends on what they prefer.

•Beau has learned how to play the ukelele from Faye.

•He would actually like to go windsurfing sometime!

• Speaking of his sister, she's a well-known acrobat/performer for her age. He admires her for being so talented in such a thing..

• His sister is an extrovert, and more outgoing than Beau. The two are opposites,,but yknow, opposites attract!

•Beau prefers to write stories that are/include horror, action, and supernatural/fantasy. He can write romantic stories, but he doesn't prefer writing things like that.

•He has written some shitty fanfictions when he was younger. He will share them among his friends and laugh at what he wrote.

•The languages he speaks are:

• English

•Italian

• (Some) Spanish. [Italian and Spanish are similar language-wise in a few ways. That, and Beau just wanted to learn Spanish.]

• Respectful boi when it comes to Pronouns, Names, People's likes and dislikes, etc.

•Beau has some family members that live in Italy. He has gone to Italy to visit them numerous times.

• Beau doesn't believe in soulmates. He thinks that it's just some fairytale thing that people believe in. He wants to love someone on his own accord - not someone who the universe was like "Oh, let's put these people together.".

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

[roaringroger]

Losing

( BenHardy! Roger x Reader )

Finale of Maybe the Night series.

Pairing: John and Reader. Reader and Roger

Summary: Roger finds out about your pregnancy.

------

" I'm sorry what? I didn't clearly hear what you said, bri " i said, Freddie in total awestruck.

The whole ride was.. Silent, and i can feel my chest getting heavier and heavier as the silence goes on.

" I said, they're expecting a baby deacon. " Brian said in all seriousness, sipping on his champagne.

" How could it possibly be his? "

" Roger, you're insane. You literally think that it isn't John's? Perhaps if you were being a man four years ago then that child would've been yours. " Brian said in a matter of factly.

'course, they're right. They always are, and it's getting in to my nerves.

" ah, by the way, John said that they'll be having a mini Engagement Party at theirs, nothing fancy, just us. " Brian once again spoke.

Engagement Party? no. This can't be happening.

" this isn't real, you know? i--it's just her way of paying back, h--her vengeful desire after all i did.. I just-- no-- it can't be real " again, and again, i tried sinking this idea in.

" ah shit " Freddie cussed, as he accidentally dropped the cork for the champagne.

10...

" Roger, you were the best thing that ever happened to me "

9...

" Why can't you try? We can-- we can uh-- we can work this out, Rog. Please don't do this "

8...

" Roger? it umm. Obviously it went on the voicemail again but uh, i just want to let you know that i love you, okay? I love you, Rog. I always will. "

7...

" uh, rog? If you aren't busy, can you call back? Please, a five minute call will do. "

6...

" Roger? Why are you doing this to me? Am i not enough for you? "

5...

" Roger, i love you. Please, call me back. "

4...

" Roger please. Why are you doing this to me? "

3...

" Are you seeing somebody? "

2...

" t--the article, on the paper. Is--is it true? "

1..

" Roger! You're seeing somebody?! Am.. Am i too prude for you? What do i lack of?! God! After all these c--chaos and.. and everything, i still love you! i can't believe you did this to me, you've hurt me alot roger, you won, alright? You won. We're done. "

" Stop! Please! Stop, Stop, Stop! " i yelled, tears falling down, my breathing uneven.

I'm hurt, but she's more hurt.

" Roger! Jesus! What's going on? Are you alright? " Freddie asked as he rubs his hands up and down my back.

Brian in the other hand, was making a call to deaky, saying that we'll be delayed for an hour because of my issue.

" Deaky says it's alright if Roger can tag along, he needs rest, look at him, riled up. " Brian half-whispered to fred.

" N--no, i'm.. I'm coming, you guys should head out first, i'll tag along but delayed a bit. "

The duo told me if i can't handle the pain, which is obviously, meant to happen to me as karma, i shouldn't go.

But my gut told me to atleast stay at the party for a bit, a glance won't hurt right?

So, i did. I went to the Deacon's. And i saw her in a plain baby blue dress, paired with sandals, and her jacket? The one i gave her, my faux fur coat.

She's so beautiful, the fact that she hugs the coat to warm her due to the cold wind of London, her cheeks flush red, her smile, God i miss that smile.

I saw her sat in one of the steps, and her eyes just, wandered. I followed what she was looking at, and i did see the beautiful, breathtaking view of the nightsky.

I walked up to her, her smile slowly fades, but atleast she's smiling, right?

" So um. A baby deacon? "

" Yes. It's been a month since i've found out. We haven't told anyone but you, and the boys. "

" I'm happy. For you, and John, of course,and i can't stop- "

" Roger, stop. I know what's happening to you. "

" I can't stop thinking about the--the wedding, what should i wear and--and what would the gender of your baby with- "

" Roger, please stop. What's going on with you? They said it has been going on for a while. What's wrong? Are you alright? "

" Y/N, i was never alright when everything fell apart between us. I was never alright when i found out that you're getting married to my mate, but i have to accept it either way because, you know. You're happy with him, and not me. "

She's listening, but i can feel my heart sink deeper and deeper and deeper as i was saying those.

" i--i was never alright when you called on phone, and i-i didn't pick it up because i was scared that you'll blow at me and just end things because i was far. "

Her eyes were brimming with tears, she puts her hand in her face to calm down. Her face was red, the fact that she was about to cry because of me.

" I.. I thought, um. Brian was joking when he broke it down to us that you guys are engaged and, having a child at the same time, i--i was hurting too, love. I was. And you have every right to hate me now, but please. I can't and i will not deny the fact that i'm still in love with you, and this time i am, in deep. "

" Roger, why? "

Of course, i couldn't answer.

" We're you too scared to tell the world that you're dating a lowly of a woman like me? Roger, all i did was just to love you, take many risks for you, and that is get? Heartbreak? "

" I.. I still love you "

" Stop saying that. "

" It's true! I still love you! "

" No, Rog. You are inlove with the idea of you, being in love with me. "

She stood up, she was about to enter.

No.

I kissed her.

Her soft lips moving in sync with mine felt better. She still loves me.

" Roger- "

" Please, one last time. "

" No, Rog. Please, let me go. "

" Always remember that you're my Miracle Aligner. "

-----

" Deaky? " you called. The party isn't nothing fancy. Just you, deaky and the boys.

" He's in the backyard " says Brian, tuning Red Special, and a beer near him. Freddie was busy enjoying the company of Aria, my beagle that i got from Roger two years ago as a birthday gift.

John was outside, beer bottle in his hand, as he sat down the bench we had, he pat down the empty seat next to him.

" Deaky? "

" What is it? "

" We're happy, right? "

" With our Cleia, of course. We're happy. "

" But you do know she's from Roger's. Right? I mean, she got her eyes and nose from him. "

Deaky doesn't speak.

" You still love him, don't you? "

He looks at me. My heart races, do i still love him?

" Y/N, hey love. It's alright. You don't have to answer that. "

" Deaky, do you think, i still am? I mean it's been so long, the pain he left me is still fresh. "

" You still love him, but i'm letting you go. "

" Deaky why? I can't just.. Leave you like that, just because i'm inlove with someone- "

" Hush down, love. I'm letting you go, because i know, that maybe one day, you'll learn to be happy again, to be yourself again. I don't want you to be with someone whom you thought you love. "

" Deaky. "

" I love you, alright? Please don't cry, okay? I'm okay. I promise. "

" I don't deserve you, i love you. "

" I love you, too. please stop crying. Now go, get your man. "

" You know that you'll always be my man right? "

" Always. "

Roger was still sat outside. Sitting down on one of the steps.

" Hey, i'm.. I'm sorry i wasn't thinking it just- "

The moment i knew, i crashed my lips to his.

Our mouths in synchronization, and so was our heartbeat.

" Roger, you know that i still love you, right? "

" Yeah, i do. "

" Mommy! Help! I dropped my carrots! "

Cleia tugs at my coat.

She got Roger's eyes, nose and hell even lips.

My precious angel.

" Alright, i'm gonna help you clean up, bubba. "

Cleia re-enters the room, and i saw starstrucked Roger.

" Please tell me that's my daughter. "

---------

BONUS

" She what? "

" Roger! Hurry she's giving birth you twat, hurry up! "

Brian's voice from the other line.

" I'm coming! "

I arrived at the hospital, and there they are, My wife, along with my five year old daughter, Cleia. Brian holds Cleia and Freddie was pushing down the wheelchair, afted several tries to pry people out of my way, i finally reached it.

I saw my wife, cradling a child in hef arms, lightly rocking it.

" Roger! Look at your son, he's so handsome " Deaky, hand in hand with his Fiance.

" I know, perks of being a Taylor, right love? "

" Shut up, Roger. " she chuckled.

" What did you name him again, love? "

" Richard Meddows "

------

FIN!!

[aish-rai]

I don't mean to trigger you or add fuel to the fire but I wanted to share with you, that for the people who just aren't grasping why what Ansari did was completely non-consentual theres this article from vice in which the author talks about how at first she didn't seem to understand the severity of this situation because it's such a common thing some women experience-- being pressured into having sex when they clearly don't want to, when they have not given consent, their body language is static

I really do appreciate your sensitivity in how you’ve approached this topic, and I’ll answer as best I can, but this is the last time I want to talk about Aziz Ansari and this entire incident (because by this point I’ll have said I’ll have to say and it’s exhausting beating a dead horse).

Part of the reason people are having so much trouble wrapping their head around this being predatory/maybe even assault is because it’s happened to almost every woman and almost every man has behaved similarly. The fact that it’s common does not excuse it, though. We need to move beyond the idea that rape/assault is a woman screaming NO and running out, that consent is the absence of a “no” instead of the presence of an enthusiastic “yes”, that non-verbal cues are not just as valid as verbal ones. It’s a very important conversation to be having right now, but we won’t get anywhere if we’re hung up on why the girl went back to his apartment or why she consented to some acts of intimacy but not others. Those things don’t matter, they’re akin to asking what she was wearing.

The first thing I’d really like to address is the incorrect notion that Aziz was not told verbally, more than once, to back off. The girl told him she felt forced, she told him she was uncomfortable, she told him he was going too fast. And even after this (and adding to it all her non-verbal cues like repeatedly moving away from him or withdrawing physically and mentally), he continued to periodically grab her hand and move it toward his penis, to ask for oral sex, to stick his fingers in her mouth and to try to remove her pants. He was told explicitly that she felt forced, and that she was uncomfortable, and to be honest that’s worse than a simple “no”. If someone tell you no, they mean they don’t want to do it. If someone tells you they feel like you’re forcing them, it means they don’t want to do it AND you’re behaving so aggressively that they feel like you’re leaving them with no choice.

And that is why we can absolutely accuse Aziz of being deliberately predatory. This is not some ignorant yokel we’re talking about, Aziz has built a career on social awareness and the politics of sex, dating, and consent. He knows where the line is, and he should/has to know when he’s crossed it. My guess is that, like most men who employ these tactics, the hope was he’d wear her down to the point where she’d eventually consent (and this worked, to some extent, since he did get her to perform oral sex on him). But that is STILL a form of assault. Is it as willfully violent as someone physically forcing themselves upon a person? No, it’s not, but that doesn’t make what happened consensual. It’s a form of psychological violence designed to wear women down to the point where they feel too cornered to object. 

The problem with reaching a consensus is that accepting this as a violation at best and a form of assault at worst means that most women (and many men, I’m sure) have to wrap their heads around the fact that if this is assault, everyone they know has been assaulted. And if you stop and really think about that, it turns your world upside down. It forces you to look back at all your sexual interactions and reexamine whether they were in fact consensual, and often you might come away feeling like they actually weren’t. It’s very painful, I can tell you from experience, to have put something away in a corner of your mind and to then be forced to unpack it and feel the rush of emotions that come from realizing you’d been harmed. Not everyone is ready to do that. Most women don’t want to be victims, and most men don’t want to think of themselves as perpetrators. But if we accept these facts, that means we can change. Because in cases like this, I don’t believe these men are irredeemably awful. They just need to be reconditioned when it comes to sexual interactions. What makes me less forgiving of Aziz is that he is more aware of these issues than other men, and when these allegations came to light, instead of even considering the possibility that he might have done harm, he doubled down on his innocence and refused to really address the way this girl felt. If you’re going to wear that Time’s Up pin and perform feminism, you need to walk the talk. And he didn’t. He absolutely didn’t.

The other component, of course, is that Aziz Ansari is someone that socially aware people actually like. If this were James Franco, or Mark Wahlberg, or Johnny Depp, or anyone else we saw as already problematic, we wouldn’t be making the same allowances. But that’s how “nice guys” get away with this behavior. We like them, we feel like they’re trustworthy, and so we give them the benefit of the doubt. We can’t keep doing that. I would this that if the Bill Cosby rape saga proved anything, it’s that public image is a facade and has no bearing on what someone is capable of behind the scenes.

What people are asking for here is accountability. They don’t want to destroy him and his career, they just want people to look at this incident as something that forces us to examine consent and gender roles more closely. They want him and men like him to make a commitment to do better, not shrug off the allegations as nothing more than “buyer’s remorse” (a disgusting term, by the way). They want this to spark a conversation that has nothing to do with why women go back to a man’s apartment, why they consent to some forms of intimacy but not others, why a woman would come forward with a story like this and lie about it for apparent “attention” (even though the story was told anonymously and the woman had nothing to gain by it). When you read this account, none of those things should be questioned. What we should be asking is, where are the boundaries and when have they been crossed? And if a woman feels like she’s been violated, does anyone have the right to tell her she hasn’t been? I don’t think that they do.

We have a lot of work to do as a society, and this could be a very profound teaching tool if we stopped questioning a woman’s truth and started simply listening and internalizing.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

>Also, just checking, but aren't those so called numbers, well ... Skewered ? Because, I'm pretty sure most male rape victims don't report it. Especially if done by a woman. So of course the percebtage is so low, right ?

Yes. Men consistently report rape, sexual assault, and other sexual misconduct victimization less than women. Same with abuse.

Partially because those crimes are heavily gendered as things men do to women. Including by feminists. One feminist on this website said feminists don't do that, and I showed her a post under her own feminist tag where she linked to a feminist website did precisely that.

She never responded. 

I like to think she was having a think about her beliefs.

>It's kinda like this "All Lives Matter" bullshit. Nobody (well I'm sure some did but let's not talk about them) said that only black lives matterred over everyone else's, but there was a subject at hand and we focused on it and saying "All Lives Matters" was just an attempts to hijack the topic away from it. And that's ... Bad, in many ways.

It's funny you say that. ALM was overwhelmingly used by BLM to attack a stereotype they made up, instead of addressing actual criticism. It was hardly ever used by actual people, and was supposedly created to address Mexican disappearances or some other Latino issue. 

It’s hard to find evidence, because of all the articles about it with the strawman version.

And during the 2020 protests/riots, many BLMers claimed the movement was about ending ALL police brutality, not just for black people.

Speaking of which, BLM has never proven racism was the cause of any incident, ever. Not in 8 years.

>Here, we have women talk about their experience, trying to spread awareness or find people like her, and there's a man trying to take back the subject from them and focus it on men instead. It's really bad too. However, invalidating their experience and hardships as inconsequential in front of women's really isn't the way to go.

What a lot of people are doing is trying to include men. To widen the focus, not to move it off women. But that means, proportionately, less of the picture for women, and it also complicates a great deal of mainstream feminist orthodoxy.

Such as calling rape and abuse "violence against women" (by men).

>Normalizing men talking about subjects like those on their own platforms without condemning them as being either mysogynist or a feminine crybaby

The best way to normalize it would be for feminists to participate in those discussions, and modify their own. Also, some feminists have gotten rather mad at women who discuss these issues too, including other feminists.

I mean protests and pulling fire alarms. The odd death threat. These were for talks people were having on their own, without “interrupting” feminists. Even when men and women talk about this stuff on their own, without criticizing feminists, they get hatred from many feminists, who will go out of their way to ‘debunk’ them.

I feel like the subject of men's issues is becoming mainstream without feminist help, and often despite their active efforts to impede it. Which means feminists can either try to smother the competition even harder*, or try and take over the subject despite the obvious ideological hurdles.

Some people try both. They claim feminists are and always have been the ones 'really' handling the issue, as an attempt to delegitimize MRAs. I once saw one male feminist try that while claiming it was okay for CDC rape stats to ignore men forced to penetrate.

He apologized later, but never explained why.**

* Which has involved incorrectly blaming at least one sexist mass murderer on MRAs, even though he had nothing to do with them. Maybe two. ** The mostly likely answer? There were a lot more of them than society and feminists think. The ratio was 1/1 to women raped in the prior year, and over the lifetime, it dropped to 1/4. 79.3% of men said a woman did it. (CDC NISVS 2010) The CDC has never explained why they use such a different definition.

A “Rape Culture” Tutorial for the Naysayers - Toula Drimonis, HuffPo Canada:

“Rape culture means that every time you discuss the topic of rape, a man will always – without fail – pop up to ask: “what about rape against men?” Not that those victims don’t matter (they most certainly do), but that somehow that miniscule percentage is supposed to overshadow and obliterate the overwhelming daily percentage of women who get raped. As if discussing rape against women is somehow deemed invalid because men aren’t the primary focus of the discussion…“

Translation: “People consistently pointing out that feminism fails to address certain rape victims is rape culture. Male victims totes matter, except that they really don’t.”

Class, note how Toula never actually answers the question, just strawmans it into a false binary of only discussing male or female rape victims, which is unfortunately common. Also, she’s sexist against women when she acts like the person objecting is always a man.

The funny thing is that I’ve heard several feminists say that ignoring male victims is itself rape culture. I’ve got to remember to point them to this.

Huffpo commenter Jaide B (emphasis mine):

Personally, I think that a lot of men just can’t understand the idea of rape. How terrifying it is. Thats not to say men are bad people/not empathetic to a rape victim (although there are MANY people who defend rape. The number of fights I get into on fb about what defines rape…its disturbing what people think), but I imagine its difficult to put themselves into a woman’s shoes and think about how terrifying it would be to have absolutely no control over what happens next. Are they gonna hold you down, use something on you, beat you, kill you, put things in places they very much don’t belong? Not to say that men don’t experience rape! But like the author said, the percentage of men raped vs women raped is drastically different.

There’s something ironic about someone claiming men can’t really empathize with women’s fear of rape, assault and murder while completely failing to understand that men are afraid of those too, especially in prison. In fact, Jaide, like many female feminists, seems to projecting her own insecurities onto all women, which is precisely the reverse of empathy. That’s narcissism.

[blastkat]

You don't have the right to tell someone else how to feel.

A very good friend of mine posted an article. His personal comment on the post says, "In case you haven't seen all of the "me too" posts... (Or you have ignored them...)

This sums up the experience of too many of my friends." He's a very kind person. He really tries to understand.

I did read the article. One thing that I actually completely agree with is the second to the last line that states, "Listen because nothing bad can ever come from listening." Of course this is true of everything.

For those who post, I understand that this is about your personal healing process or so others don't feel as if they're alone as well as to show those who aren't affected the magnetude of the issue. There's nothing wrong with that and it's good to give to give a voice to those without one.

However, there are those who have healed, who have moved on, or who are still healing. For these people, the constant, daily reminders of their darkest moments that they've already moved passed, worked hard to leave behind, or are still healing from has the potential to open old and best left forgotten wounds. Yes, best left forgotten because they've healed. One doesn't see an old scar on another and electively choose to reopen it with a letter opener, little by little every day. People don't owe you an explanation for how they feel or how you make them feel if you hurt them. Just realize that if your proactive, meant to help others actions cause other people pain, you don't have the right to tell them how they should feel because you aren't the same person. You haven't experienced what they have experienced. Everyone's story is different.

It's your profile. Do what you want to do on it. However, don't go to another person's profile and attack them for not feeling the same way you do. You don't have that right. What would be good of you, is to support others who are clearly wanting to move on with their lives and not having an easy time with the daily reminders of a painful past.

I apologise for singling you out Dave. It was a decent post. Out of everyone, I believe you have the best intentions.

I'm sorry Jennifer and Jess. I've been reading your posts. I don't disagree with the whole metoo thing. I believe they mean well. I do disagree with the way people treat you and the way it makes you feel.

There are a few others. I won't mention you by name because you haven't posted anything about this at all. However since I'm aware of how you feel and how this makes you feel, tonight I'll be your voice since everyone else has one except those who just want to heal and have some normalcy in their lives. They've already been deprived of so much, can you honestly say it's right to deny them this little comfort.

Yes. This post is intentionally gender neutral. This isn't just a women's issue.

[saveme-beforeifall]

The person I was responding to and basing my convo on, is clearly attacking BTS and their worth, remaining far from factual. Weird, awkward? Calling them unpopular. “What bts is good for is some views from their fandom or as a “weird asian gimmick”? Or that they aren't “huge” ((btw no one is claiming that)) because anyone can get on Ellen ((which is far from the height of their achievements and sure)). And Implying non-fluent speakers wont be taken seriously. You must be dense if you don't see the comment comes from a place of dislike.

Either way, you clearly are using your own narrative too because nowhere did I say media and isn’t running this because it's popular. Of course, they are. I literally said they're out for views. THAT’S HOW MEDIA WORKS! They take from you, you take from them. BTS gets the deals, contracts, connections, fame, coin and exposure many artist, kpop or western, would kill for. This talk of them getting “exploited” is so delusional and uninformed it's insane. Its a give and take in this industry, and bts as an idol group has played this game for a long time and the continue to play it to share their music and message to the world and without worries. And to built a fanbase through there unique msg and music. 

Also, I don't get why you are writing paragraphs about this when i never said BTS will be there or popular forever. Again, you're the one making up your own narrative. Nothing is forever, but that doesn't mean BTS won't or can't have a fruitful career. I do think BTS has something different, that appeals to ppl beyond idle teens, regardless of age, gender or language. They speak to the hearts of many, and that impact stays with ppl. thats why there in this position. Like I said, things will grow and change, and what I'm seeing is change until when and to what heights idk. And btw, how can you judge how media and interviews go when you dont even watch or read them? Because there's change and there's great articles and interviews out there.

I honestly don't get what you’re arguing with me because what i was arguing OP and the 2nd commentator's opinion that “BTS arent big/popular and “only good as Asian gimmicks” and that a gimmick is all they are to the media made a huge impact and a huge American audience that IS there for the music. The growing numbers and placements and achievements dont just fall from the sky. 

Them being a fad or not is a completely different discussion. I do think they can go beyond “the fad”. They've been around for 7 years already and still going strong and growing. Media behaving like media wont stop them imo. Ppl said a lot of things - that poor nobodies like bts would never be able to fill up this or that venue, that bts would never get a grand prize, that they would never get an all-kill in the charts, they would never chart number one in the US, that they would never be asked to perform in US awards, but against all the odds they did - even with no help. And I have a feeling they will continue to. No one believed a small Korean group could become known and make thing happen in their own country, let alone across the globe. What is going beyond the “teen star” curse? Nothing. They won't stay together forever or stay in the limelight forever, but like the Beatles, I believe they will put a mark as iconic artists in the music industry and their lyrics will continue to touch ppl - even without the media.

Either way, this is all speculation, so lets put to it to rest.

I feel like army created this bubble for bts where bts is huge in the west when in reality the american shows they were on aren’t difficult to get on, every meme these days can get on ellen so that’s not really an achievement, those interviews were all awkward and I couldn’t shake off the feeling that bts were simply weird asian gimmicks for the american audience, something they can’t and won’t understand but it’s weird enough to get views