#'t is so scary what if you turn out all bald and fat and old' what if that's how i want to turn out?

[circus-k]

sometimes transgenderism is tearing up at the thought of being a middle aged guy with a dadbod and a receding hairline

sometimes transgenderism is seeing people use old age and balding as a way to "scare" transmascs away from going as far as they'd like in their transitions and seeing those as positives. as proof that you're alive and you're here and you made it

i want to be that old trans guy who's hair has thinned out. who's body softened and filled with age.

i want to be happy.

[obsidianarchives]

The Mane Thing About Nova

A puddle was beginning to amass under Nova’s right side as she pulled out the map Angelina shared with her. It was two hours before dinner in the Great Hall, so the corridor of the seventh floor was empty as everyone unwound from classes and prepared for the meal. As she tried to remember the instructions Angelina had given her, she could still hear Pansy Parkinson’s taunts during Quidditch practice.

“Oi! Sweettrickle! Next time maybe don’t land in the lake! What an absolute loon! You look like a wet poodle! Here girl! Here!” Pansy made kissy noises at Nova as the other Slytherins laughed while she pulled herself out of the lake. The kind of noises you would use to call a dog to your side. 

“Do you want a treat, girl?” Pansy and the Slytherins roared with laughter as she held out her hand with an imaginary treat.

Clearly, Nova had not meant to land in the lake, but she was so focused on chasing the Snitch that she hadn’t seen the tentacle of the giant squid as it emerged from the water. The collision bothered the squid very little, but knocked poor Nova clear off her broom and into the lake.

“Looks like a bit of water has done that nest on your head some good, Sweettrickle!” Pansy teased. 

If she could have, Nova would have cursed Pansy bald, right then and there. But she didn’t know how, so punching the little snob in her throat would have to do until she could learn. Nova balled up her fist and made a beeline for Pansy who was too busy laughing to see what was about to happen. Before she could pull back to hit her, a tall girl with skin the color of deep sepia, a head full of tiny black braids, and Gryffindor Quidditch robes stepped in between them.

“You’re one to talk about hair Parkinson, with that stringy mess you’ve got!”

“No one was talking to you, Johnson!” Pansy hissed.

“Well I’m talking to you, Parkinson!”

Another girl stood next to Angelina, hair slicked back in a sleek and sexy ponytail, also in red and gold robes with S-P-I-N-N-E-T on the back.

“Ok so her hair is a little wet because she fell in the lake, Pansy! But you always walking around looking like Snape with titties, so what’s your excuse!?”

Two other girls — clearly twins, in robes of yellow and black, with caramel colored skin, freckles that actually sparkled (that had to be an enchantment, right?), and hundreds of bright red curls held up on opposing sides by Hufflepuff bows — laughed.

“Yeah Pansy,” the twin with the left bow said, “all this magic...”

“And you STILL look tragic!” the other finished.

The group of girls laughed. Pansy turned red as a howler. She was clearly outwitted and outnumbered, so she went for the jugular.

“Right. Like I even care what you people think!” 

She hissed the insult, hard and fast, careful to make eye contact with each girl so they could feel the weight of her words. The pitch went quiet like the moment just before a Dementor’s Kiss. The joyous laughter left Angelina’s face as she stepped up into Pansy’s personal space. The girls followed her lead and flanked her sides, making even more of a wall between Pansy and Nova. Pansy looked to the group of Slytherins on the side of the field. No one was coming to her aid. She had gone too far. They knew it and so did she. She was on her own.

“Probably a good idea if you headed into the castle to get ready for dinner, Parkinson.” Angelina’s voice was steady and low, but the threat it carried was loud and clear.

“I...I...I don’t take orders from you, Johnson!”

A sly, half smile slid across Spinnet’s face. 

“No, Ang. Let the trick stay. Hermione just taught us that new spell and I would LOVE to use Pansy as my guinea pig!” She lunged forward, but the twins held her back.

Pansy jumped back in surprise and rushed to compose herself.

“Whatever! I have more important things to do!” and she stomped off in the direction of the castle. 

Nova stood there, still wet, a bit in a daze. Pansy had been making fun of Nova for the last month. Enchanting paper airplanes to fly into Nova’s hair. Constantly bumping into her and then commenting in a poorly acted stage whisper how she “found” a “gross curly hair” on her robes. She had really been the absolute worst. Everything in Nova wanted to strangle her, but every time she tried, she remembered her Aunt Quinta.

She had taken her in when her parents disappeared. Nova was eight years old then and Aunt Quinta raised her and loved her like she was her own. When Nova turned eleven and got her Ilvermony letter, she was so proud of Nova, even though she hadn’t done a thing to earn it. When her Hogwarts Student Exchange Letter came a year letter, Aunt Quinta smiled for days. This all made her aunt so happy, so she promised that she would behave and do well. But Pansy never let up no matter how nice she was. In fact, being nice almost made it worse. 

Then today, this group of girls who she didn’t really know came to her rescue. They stood up to Parkinson. Most of the kids in her classes just pretended they didn’t see, not wanting to earn Pansy’s attention. But these girls didn’t give one lick about her. They were amazing!

“You ok? Uh…” 

Nova hadn’t realized anyone was talking to her. 

“Huh? Oh! Me? I’m...I’m Nova. Nova Sweettrickle. Ravenclaw, second year,” she answered Angelina.

“Oh wow! Oh cool!” Right Twin said.

“We’re also in the second year of school!” Left Twin finished. 

“Do they always do that?” Nova asked Angelina.

“What? Rhyme? Or finish each other’s sentences?” 

“Both?”

Spinnet laughed. “Finish each other's sentences? Yeah most of the time. The rhyming thing…well SOMEONE thought they could cheat their way to rap fame.” She playfully eyed the twins.

“Thank goodness this is only temporary!” 

“If we stayed like this, it would be so scary!” They nodded in unison. 

Angelina smiled and shook her head. 

“Left bow is Charli. Right bow is Cyn. I’m Angelina and this is Alicia.” Alicia, the girl with SPINNET on the back of her robes, who had lunged at Pansy, quietly nodded as she pulled her long ponytail over her shoulder. “I don’t remember seeing you last year.”

“Oh, well, I’m an exchange student for Professor Dumbledore's Magic Abroad program. I did my first year at Ilvermorny. My grandfather was actually a Hogwarts alum.” Nova shivered as she answered. 

“Damn Ang! You see the girl is shivering. Maybe less third degree and more drying off?” Alicia said.

“Oh yeah, sorry! Of course!” Angelina apologized. 

“Uh… let’s see…” she pointed her wand toward the lake soaked girl…

 “Aer calidus totalus!” and a gust of hot hair wrapped itself around Nova. 

Suddenly her socks were dry. No…wait... just her left sock was dry. Also the left half of her skirt, her undies, her top, her robes. Everything was suddenly dry on one side! Even her hair. HER HAIR!? Oh no! All that water, then just a hurricane of hot hair. She could only imagine what a poofy frizzy mess she must be. The girls' faces really said it all. Quick as she could, she flipped the hood of her robes up. If Pansy saw this…Merlin’s beard! It would never end! Hard as she tried not to, the tears started to well up.

“Oh, hey girl, please don’t cry!” Alicia begged, “Sometimes Ang is a bit more powerful than she realizes.” Angelina nodded and shrugged. 

Alicia looked back at Angelina, “Ang, how the hell did you dry one side of her!?”

Nova was really having trouble controlling the tears and each tear seemed to panic Alicia more. 

“Hey, it's ok, really. It’s not that bad, right girls?” The twins whistled and looked everywhere but at Nova. “It’s nothing a smoothing spell won't fix. Do you know any good smoothing spells?”

“No.” A huge tear fell and Angelina began to look a bit sheepish.

“I know it might not sound like fun,” Cyn started.

“But what about a spell for a ballerina bun?” Charli finished. 

Nova just shook her head this time. Her face was getting hot. Every suggestion upset her more and more. 

“My Aunt Quinta says my curls are too much...so she uses this straightening potion. It’s supposed to last for 3 months and then she re-applies when she visits. But I don’t know how to make it. And I’m not…I’m not...I’m not…” Nova was fighting back the tears as hard as she could but it seemed to be a losing battle. Angelina finished her thought.

“Not supposed to get it wet? Yeah. We all been there.” All the girls looked at each other with embarrassed expressions and nodded. “Hey Nova...would you give us a second?”

Angelina’s question caught Nova off guard. 

“Uh...yeah,” she sniffled. “Sure.” 

The girls walked away, just out of ear shot. They huddled and immediately began whispering fervorously. After about a minute, Cyn giggled and Charli whooped, Alicia shushed them both, and Angelina stood up straight, crossed her arms and nodded, as if a very important decision had been made. They walked back to Nova, surrounding her in a little half circle. As always, Angelina spoke first.

“Alright, Sweettrickle! Executive decisions have been made!”

“Believe it or not,” Charli started, “cause it true...”

“You’ve got spunk,” Cyn finished, “so we like you!”

Alicia spoke next.

“You were ready to knock Parkinson on her ass and anyone who wants to punch Pansy in her fat, racist little nose is a friend of ours. Plus…we gotta stick together.” 

Nova understood what the “we” meant. It had not escaped her attention that Hogwarts had far fewer wizards of color than Ilvermorny. She thought she was prepared for how few there would be, but she was so shocked by the reality. It hadn't really bothered her too much until Pansy started in on her and she felt more isolated than before. 

“You should sit with us at dinner, Sweettrickle. But first, we gotta handle that hair.” Angelina pulled what looked to be a folded piece of parchment from inside her robes. "Being friends with 'The Chosen One' has its advantages…"

And that was how Nova had found herself pacing the seventh floor corridor, just opposite an odd tapestry that looked like trolls doing…ballet? She looked at the map again. Hundreds of tiny footprints moved across the map of the school, including the girls, whom she could see where near the Quidditch pitch with a few other kids she didn’t know. In a bathroom on the third floor, she saw two sets of footprints squished into a small wash closet. She didn’t know who “Dean Thomas” was, but his foot prints were awfully close to whoever “Hermione Granger” was. She regained her focus and tried to remember what Angelina had told her. She just had to think of those words while she paced this corridor three times. 

"I need Aso’s help," she thought to herself. She could already see the evil smirk on Pansy's face at dinner if this didn't work. Two first year Hufflepuffs scurried by her with wide eyes.

"I need Aso’s help.” Her thoughts became more frantic. This was stupid. They hadn’t even told her what was supposed to happen. They were probably having a laugh at her, just thinking about how gullible she was. The dumb American…but they seemed so nice…and they rescued her from Pansy…stood up for her. They were the only ones who had helped her in all this time.

She took a breath and tried to steady her nerves. Without realizing what she was even doing, she wished the girls were right and honest and wanted to be her friend. She wished it with every fiber of her being. Then she paced the corridor one last time.

“I need Aso’s help. Please,” the final words actually spilling from her lips in a whisper of desperation.

She opened her eyes and waited for several beats before the disappointment set in. For the second time today, tears began to well in her eyes. There was nothing. No one. She was still there, alone, hair still dripping wet but also a giant frizz, in partially soggy robes in the same corridor as before. Same dumb statues at the other end. Same dumb tapestry of the same dumb dancing trolls in their dumb tutus. Same dumb door. 

Wait. Door? Was that door there before? Nova was pretty sure it hadn’t been. But now here it was. Was this why the girls had sent her here? Was this what would help her?

She cautiously reached for the door, turned the knob and opened it. As soon as she stepped in, her jaw dropped. 

“Whattha, whattha...”

The scene laid out before her was strange and yet familiar to Nova all that the same time. 

To her left, three young witches of various shades of brown, magazines in hand, sat with their heads under floating bubbles that looked like sparkling plastic. Inside the bubbles, though not touching the girls, little orange and red fire salamanders ran round and round, chasing each other, creating an orange cloud of heat that was drying the hair of each girl. 

To the right were three small waterfalls that looked like they were pulled directly from nature (how was the water flowing directly from the wall!?). They spilled into small whirlpools but there was no water on the ground. It was like the whirlpools were just…there. Nova could see the soap bubbles disappearing into the water but where they went Nova couldn’t say, since there were no drains that she could see. Two young ladies sat back, an empty station between them, hair in the whirlpools beneath the waterfalls, while two ladies, bare foot with dresses of finely woven kelp and faces that more resembled seals than humans, washed their hair.

In the back of the room, atop a large wet rock (where was the water coming from?) sat a chubby girl with a head full of big, brown curls, a round face, and a joyous smile, flute in her lap. She sang a song Nova had never heard before but already liked.

“I do my hair toss, check my nails! Baby how you feeling!?” The lyrics seem to speak to Nova. She was almost drawn to the girl beyond her will. But the sight, center stage, had distracted her. 

In the middle of everything sat the largest spider Nova had ever seen! Atop the head of the large, black creature was a beautiful yellow head wrap covered in bright blue peacock feathers. At the end of each of its eight large legs were three fingers (Nova didn’t know what else to call them) and each finger had a little claw that was painted hot pink. Two ladies sat in front of it, one on each side, floating mirrors directly in front of them. The first two arms on it’s right ran a hot comb through one client’s hair. The first two arms on it’s left were parting the other woman’s thick, fluffy hair, preparing it for large braids. Around the spider’s mid section, two arms worked quickly, almost faster than Nova could see, creating a beautiful silk magenta bonnet with dragonflies. As soon as a dragonfly was knit, it would shake, as if coming to life, and turned from magenta to a sparkling gold, before settling back into the weave of the bonnet. The last two arms (or were they legs?) took the silk coming from it’s iridescent backside and quickly worked it into the thread the middle two arms used to knit the bonnets. A second spool of silk from its backside hung in a mass from the ceiling, keeping the creature floating and able to reach freely around the room, which it did from time to time, checking in on the other shop patrons, and grabbing tools and supplies from around the shop. This was NOT like any salon they had back home.   

“What cha here for, girl?” An accent she couldn’t quite place spoke to her. “Girl,” the spider said, “what cha here for? Braids? Curls? Press? Weave? I’m a busy lady, Sakuri.” Nova suddenly realized all eyes, including the spider’s eight, were on her. 

“Oh, uh, just a press please.” 

“A press, eh? And who sent you, chile?”

“Um. Angelina Johnson.”

“Aye. I should have known. That girl…” Nova missed the last words she said. The girl on the rock had begun singing again and for a reason Nova could not quite place, she was mesmerized. 

“Boss up and change yo life...” If Nova could just touch her, maybe she would be her friend. Maybe they could hang out all the time…forever. Forever? What a weird thought. Was it weird though? What was so wrong about her being the girl’s friend?

“Let me simplifyyyyyyy…” Gosh she was so amazing. Nova was just thinking about how she could listen to this song and nothing else for the rest of her life when the music suddenly stopped. A voice cut in...

“Melissa, sweetie,” the spider said, “The song is coming along nicely, but how ‘bout we take a break, eh?” The girl shrugged, picked up her flute from her lap, placed it to her full lips and played a quick melody, before saying “BYE BITCH” and poof, disappeared! As soon as the girl was gone, it was like Nova had released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. She could think again. Everyone laughed. 

“Sorry, chile. Melissa is half-siren and sometimes has trouble controlling her powers around newcomers. I’m Aso.”

“Huh…oh uh…yes. It’s nice to meet you…uh...ma’am. I’m Nova.” Without thinking, Nova curtsied. Everyone laughed again. 

“No need to bow to me, chile.” 

Nova felt stupid. Of course she didn’t need to bow, but in all honesty, she had never seen anyone like Aso, so she wasn’t really sure what to do. Not that she should have been surprised. Since learning she was a witch, her life had gotten so freaking weird that a giant, hair-styling spider really should have been expected. 

“I suppose you’ve never seen anyone like me?” Aso asked. While the spider removed her cape, the lady on the right was admiring how smooth her hair was. 

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but no.” God, did she really need to broadcast how out of place she felt even when she wasn’t speaking!? Aso laughed. She had a nice laugh, one that calmed some of the nerves in Nova’s stomach.

“Well, no worries, girl. I don’t plan on eatin’ ya. I enjoy making money too much. You have money, don’t cha?”

Nova pulled a purple, velvet bag from beneath her robes. 

“Yes, ma’am, I do. My aunt gave it to me for school stuff and a little extra for emergencies…”

“Well your head is definitely an emergency, if I do say so, myself. But I’ll get you fixed up, no worries, Sakuri. Go see Rian.” 

One of the girls beside the small waterfalls waved to her with sharp nails atop webbed hands. Nova nodded and headed toward the girl. She wasn’t sure what “Sakuri” meant, but hearing Aso call her that, it reminded her of her Aunt Quinta and made her feel safe somehow. Almost like she was at home. 

As Rian washed her hair, Nova tried to settle into the atmosphere. Rian’s little claws felt amazing on her scalp and the shampoo smelled of fresh rain and pineapples. Nova’s hair tingled right down to the root. Suddenly, she could feel every strand on her head and they were thrilled to be caressed so delicately.

Rian washed and scrubbed and rinsed Nova’s hair as she gossiped the other girl, whose name Nova learned was Siobhan, talking in a way Nova barely understood. It wasn’t exactly English. More like Spanglish, except instead of Spanish, the two girls spoke a language made up of growls, barks, and grunts mixed with heavy Irish English. Most of what Nova understood was from Aso’s responses. What Nova understood, she laughed along with. What she didn’t, she waited for Aso’s response and responded in kind. 

Once her hair was washed, Rian took her over to the fire salamander dryers. Only one girl was there now. The girl who had been getting large braids was done and gone now and two new girls sat in front of Aso. One was getting what looked to be a neon green bob, and the other, a finger wave. Rian, took out the two small salamanders that had been in the dryer when Nova had arrived. She gently placed them in a small tank. Inside, a small rock glowed red with heat and they both ran to lay on it, falling asleep coiled around one another. Two new salamanders were placed inside the dryer as it was placed atop Nova’s head. Nova looked up to see them through the bubble. As soon as they saw each other the chase began and the heat built up. 

Nova watched, mesmerized as Aso worked quickly. Aso, Rian, and Siobhan worked in sync, fluid like dancers who changed partners often. Aso had already finished the girl with the finger wave. With skin like obsidian, she admired her hair in the floating mirror. The silver color really suited the girl, but Nova noticed what was truly unique about the girl’s hair. Along her hairline, her baby hairs had been slicked down in beautiful intricate designs, like lace and every few minutes, the design of the “lace” changed. One moment it was soft waves around her face, the next it was a quilted pattern with tiny crystals that sparkled at the intersections. Nova had never seen hair like this.

As she took a last look in the mirror, the girl next to her was running her fingers through the fresh, neon green bob.

“Ok, Monae,” Aso said, “Now shake it.” Monae gave Aso a look like she didn’t quite understand. “Oh for heaven’s sake, girl. Will ya trust me and shake ya head!”

Monae shook her head as she was told. Slowly, from the tips up to the roots, her hair went from green to bright blue. Both Nova and Monae’s eyes grew in surprise. Aso laughed. She had a rich laugh that felt like all the ancestors, past and present, laughed with her. 

“Again!” Aso commanded. Again, Monae obeyed. This time, her hair went from blue to hot pink. 

She turned to Aso and smiled. Now understanding, she shook her head once more and her hair was back to neon green. Monae was overjoyed. 

“Oi! Aso! This is brilliant, mate! I’ll be the talk of the common room for days!” Monae handed several gold coins to Aso. Aso handed her and the other girl a bonnet each. The girls thanked her, put on their yellow and black robes, and headed for the door. 

“Ok missy...your turn!” 

Nova stood up and sat in one of Aso’s chairs. 

“So, Little Miss Nova, tell me how you got to be such a mess in the first place.” 

As Aso parted and combed her hair, Nova told her about wanting to be on the Quidditch team like her grandfather, who had been a Hufflepuff Seeker before he opened his sweet shop and moved to the States… about the squid and Pansy… about how she always struggled to get her hair right, so Aunt Quinta had relaxed it and how that almost made it harder. So many rules to keep it “tame.” Before she knew it, she was crying a bit and telling Aso everything. 

“Oh now chile,” Aso wiped a tear with one massive spider hand, “no need to cry. Aso has just the thing for you.” Before she could see herself in the mirror, Angelina, Alicia, Charli, and Cyn popped in. 

“Hey Miss Aso! Over there looking like an eight legged goddess!” Alicia playfully bowed.

“Hush yo mouth, girl!” Aso dismissed Alicia’s silliness with a half smile that showed her top fangs. ��Angelina, you send this girl to me!?”

“Sure did, Miss Aso. She needed your magic hands and I see you did your thing.” Angelina’s compliment made Aso blush. 

“Oh hush girl.”

“Wowie, wow!” Charli said. “Lookie here girls…”

“Our Little Miss Nova has a head full of curls!” Cyn concluded. 

Nova had almost forgotten to look at herself. Charli and Cyn were right! She suddenly had curls. Hundreds of them, honey brown with red highlights that brought out her brown eyes. They framed her face like a fiery, golden halo. She almost didn’t recognize herself. 

“Now I know you wanted a press Miss Nova,” Aso said, “but it would be a shame to hide such beauty. This is special, just for you. Rian!” 

Before Nova could ask what she meant, Rian splashed a small stream of water directly at her! Instinctively, Nova put up her hands, trying to protect her hair, but the water never even made contact. Siobhan tossed a small pebble from the base of the waterfall. 

“Hey now!” Nova said, but like the water it never made contact with Nova or her hair. Four inches before it reached her, it just lost momentum and fell to the ground. Nova was amazed. 

“Whattha, whattha…”

“It will take a lot more than that girl to mess up your hair now.” The way she spat the word “girl,” Nova knew Aso meant Pansy. “You just trust Miss Aso, now, ya hear?”

“It's so beautiful, Miss Aso! Thank you so much! Honestly I’ve never seen it like this before. Aunt Quinta is gonna flip.”

“You tell Quinta I said hello, ya hear.” Before Nova could ask what she meant, Alicia read Nova’s look. 

“Girl, our Spider Goddess knows everyone! Ain’t that right, Queen!?”

“I done told ya to hush now, girl!” Aso playfully batted at Alicia. 

Angelina gently elbowed Nova. 

“Give her 1 Galleon and 10 sickles. Give 3 sickles to Rian and Siobhan as well.”

Nova did as Angelina said, leaving Aso’s payment last. 

“Miss Aso,” Nova said, “thank you so much!” And before Aso could respond, Nova gave her a hug where she could reach around her exoskeleton. 

“Of course, girl.” The giant spider patted her head, hair bouncing right back into place. 

“Don’t forget your bonnet, Miss Nova,” Aso said as Nova pulled back to see Aso had placed a beautiful, peridot green bonnet, with gold dragonflies in Nova’s hands. 

“Oh! Miss Aso! This is my favorite color! How did you know!?”

“You heard the big mouth, girl! Miss Aso knows everything, chile!” Alicia feigned a hurt look. 

“Come on, Sweettrickle. Can’t wait to see Parkinson’s stupid little face when you walk in looking like that!” Angelina and the girls made their way to the door. 

“Yeah yeah it’s time for dinner!” Cyn said. 

“When Pansy loses, you’re the real winner!” Charli finished.

“Thank you again, Miss Aso.” Nova said.

“Of course, chile.”

As they stepped through the door, back onto the seventh floor corridor, Aso’s Salon disappeared. The girls started down the hall, and Nova took one last look at where the door had been.

“Come on you guys!” Angelina lead the pack, “Let's go show off Sweettrickle!”

Alicia teased and mocked Nova, “Oh Miss Aso!” She laughed as she mimicked Nova with a comically high pitched voice. “You’re such a goodie goodie, Nova!”

“Shut up, big mouth,” Nova said playfully. 

The girls all froze and turned to Nova. Had Nova gone too far!? The girls looked at Nova and a look passed between them. Suddenly, they burst into laughter. Relieved, Nova laughed, too. 

“She got you, Alicia! You took her for a dummy!”

“But it turns out Nova is really quite funny!” The twins laughed. 

And as they walked down the corridor to the Great Hall, smiling and laughing, five carefree Black witches, Angelina looked to Nova and shared a smile. 

“I think you’re gonna fit in just fine, Sweettrickle. Just fine.”

[rin412]

Love Ballad (Prologue)

~ A Samurai Love Ballad Party Fanfiction ~ ~Warning! Samurais x OC pairings! If you don’t like my pairing, I don’t care. lol~ ~Future AU~ ~Definitely OOC so please prepare yourself to vomit~

Okay, so, I made a... thing again. After I was on hiatus for quite a long time. I’m still trying to collect my muse, so please spare me ;;;;

Again, I warn you before you read. These are my own pairings and my own AU. I don’t care if you don’t like it or disagree to it, I’m the ruler of my own world. lol

ok jk or maybe not

Anyway, please enjoy!

Spring….

Sakura petals are everywhere, accompany me while walking through the front gate of my school.

Today is the day of my new semester in second grade in highschool. To be honest, I kind of looking forward for this day because I hope I can meet new friends. Hmm, I can’t say that my first year was all that good, yes. Because… uhh… I just… couldn’t socialize well enough. No, it’s fine. Something ridiculous like bullying didn’t happen at all. It’s just… most of my classmates were quite… fashionable ones? They were always talking about make-up, newest trend, etc. And I guess I’m just… not really used to that kind of thing.

Ahaha…

Well…

I know, I was the one at fault…

But still, I want to live my life however I like. I have to enjoy it! Why, you asked? That’s because I—

“Shut up, old man!”

“Huh?” before I even step into my school ground, I see a looking-expensive black car in front of the gate. There’s a boy with yellow hair shouts loudly to an old man that just closed the car’s door for him.

The boy wears a hard expression, I can practically see his face full of wrinkles here and there. He looks so angry. I wonder why…

“But, Master. If something happens to you, I suppose I can hel—“

“No need.”

“But this is your first da—“

“I told you, just go home already, Sakai! I can do the rest here by myself! I’m not a kid anymore!”

“But, Maste—“

“I said go home, you deaf!! Are you trying to embarrass me on purpose?! Treating me like a kid all the damn time?!”

“I’m just worri—“

“No need. Now go.”

“But—“

“I said GO! Before I pull your hair and make you completely bald!”

“Y-yes! Please! Spare my hair! N-now if you will excuse me—“

“Hurry!”

“Y-yes!!” the old man looks so scared of that boy and quickly get into the car. Then he opens the window and says, “I will pick you up here after school, Maste—“

“Yeah, whatever. Now go!”

“Y-yes..!”

And there he goes….

My, what a scary boy. Judging from the way that old man’s way of calling him, I bet he’s a rich one. Maybe that old man is his driver? Well, who knows…

Before I realize it, he already walks into the school ground. Probably he noticed that I’m looking at him intently, he stops himself in front of me and looking down at me with such arrogance and scary smile, “Listen.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t say anything to anyone about what just happened before. Got it?”

“Why should I—“

“GOT…. IT….?”

Whoa, he peers closer with a really cold and scarier smile ever!! I quickly nod and he let out a satisfied grin, “Good. Now get off my way.”

“You can just walk over—“

“I said get off my way, stupid wench!”

“Wha--?!”

Before I can even spits out a complain, he shoves me away to the point I fall on the ground. How rude!! But look at him! He doesn’t even care and just walks away while humming a song.

Ugh, great. My first day of second grade and I’m already facing this kind of worst luck ever. Look at my skirt. All dirty now. I will have my revenge! Just you wait—

….

Uhh..

What’s his name again?

…..

Okay, great. You forgot to ask….

“Sigh…”

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?” I look up and I see a cute girl with a black ribbon on the left side of her light brown hair. Oh dear, look at her smile. What an angel.

She offers her hand and helps me stand up. What a nice girl…!

“Did you hurt yourself?” she asks, worried.

“O-oh no, I’m fine! I just… uhh….” Oh right, I can’t say anything about that boy’s evil side. Remembering that, I decided to just say, “I just… a-accidentally tripped….? Ahahaha!”

“Ah, I see. Please be careful next time, okay?” she seriously worries about me? Oh my god, she really is an angel!!

“Y-yes! I’ll be more careful! T-thank you for your help!”

“No, it’s fine. Oh right, it’s almost the time for the ceremony! Let’s hurry!”

I take a look at my watch, and surely, it’s almost the time. Oh dear, my head was so full about that boy, I almost forgot!

The cute girl who was walking ahead of me suddenly stops herself and turns back to me, “Your name?”

“Huh?”

“What’s your name?”

“Me? O-oh, my name is Rin.”

“All right, Rin!”

“Whoa…!” she suddenly holds my hand and pulls me along to run with her through the school ground.

While running with all our might, she says with a cheerful smile, “My name is Ane! Nice to meet you, Rin!”

“A-Ane! Okay! Nice to meet you too! Haha!”

Well, maybe my first day isn’t so bad at all. I hope I’m in the same class with Ane!

*later, after the ceremony*

I just saw on the notice board that my new class is in 2-E. Hmm, I wonder what kind of people that are waiting for me. I’m looking forward to it already.

Then, before I realized it, I arrived in front of my class. A bit nervous, I take a peek inside. There really is no one that I know here. I guess Ane isn’t in the same class with me. Aw…

“Rin?”

“Huh?” I turn to the source of voice behind me, and I quickly put on a cheerful smile again, “Ane!!”

“I guess we’re in the same class then? I look forward to it!”

“Y-yes! Me too!! I hope we can be a good friend!”

“What are you talking about? We’re a good friend already!”

“Aah, you don’t know how happy I am to hear that!” I hug her excitedly.

Yes!! I can see a bright future of my new life ahead!

*then, homeroom time*

We finally start our first homeroom, and the homeroom teacher’s name is Uesugi Kenshin. Hmm, if I take a look properly, he looks so beautiful for a man. Ugh, I feel like I just became a failure woman. I wonder where did my beauty go….?

“Hm?” I sense a shadow is moving through the slightly opened class door. I take a look, and I see a girl is peeking through the door’s window. Who is she? Why is she not in her class?

Also….

Look at that expression….

She’s… blushing?

I wonder if she’s looking at her crush here. Aw, too bad that they are in separate classroom.

I follow her gaze, and suddenly I realize that she’s not looking to the student desks. She’s looking to the sight in front of our class, Mr. Uesugi.

Whoa…

To think she even ditched her class to see Mr. Uesugi…

I guess someone will do anything for love, huh. I wonder if there will be a time for me to be like that girl too…?

*then, lunch time*

“First day of school is still light and fun, huh.” I say as I stretch my arms out after sit on a hard chair for a long time. Ugh, I suddenly miss my sofa.

“Well, we should prepare ourselves for the upcoming homeworks and tests. So we better have fun now. Haha.” Ane says with a wry smile.

“I suppose so.” I say with a chuckle, “Hey, Ane. Let’s go buy breads in the canteen!”

“I have my own lunch today, so…”

“Whoa, as expected. Let me see!”

“Sure. Here!” Ane opens her lunch box and there, at that time, once again I feel like I lost my beauty and pride as a woman.

I mean, look at this cute lunch box!! How could you even dare to eat these food babies?! Starving sounds better rather than have to eat these cuties!!

“I-I wonder if it looks weird….” Ane seems worried when she saw my reaction.

“No!! it’s the best lunch ever!!” I say with an excited voice.

Ane looks shy and she’s blushing a little, “T-thank you…”

Huhu, she’s so cute…

Wait, the lunch will be over if I don’t hurry!

“Ane, I will go buy my bread and milk first, okay?” I said as I get up from my seat.

“Sure. Want me to go with you?” she offers with a smile.

God!! Go to the canteen together with someone!! I feel like my real youth just started now…!

But wait. Ane has a lot of kind of foods. I bet she needs time to finish that. And, we know what kind of hell school canteen is, so…

Yeah, it will take time…

“I can go by myself. You go ahead and eat your lunch, okay?” I said with a grin on my face.

“Are you sure? Are you going to be okay?”

“Why are you so worried, though? I only buy bread and milk.”

“Well, you seem like the type who eat a lot, so…”

Are you saying I’m fat, Ane? Are you saying that I’m going to buy TONS of foods?

Okay, good. Rin, I guess it’s the time for you to go on a diet.

*a while later*

I guess I was too late. No, I guess the school canteen has became a worst hell ever.

I mean, look at this empty box….

I REPEAT! IT! IS! EMPTY!

Great, I see no breads! SOLD OUT!

Now what to do? Geez…

Looks like I have to skip my lunch.

“S-Saizo, are you sure you’re going to buy THAT much?!”

“Hm?” I hear a familiar voice beside me, and I see the famous duo, Sanada Yukimura and Kirigakure Saizo. I heard Saizo is so popular that he actually broke the record for got 500 chocolates in Valentine Day last year.

“Dear, this much of dangos aren’t problem at all. Now you go ahead and pay for me.” Saizo said while leaving Yukimura behind.

“Wha--?! Mmrrgh, damn you, Saizo! Always, and always!” though, Yukimura paid Saizo’s dango in the end. Yeah, Yukimura is so popular too thanks to his opposite side from Saizo. He’s such a shy boy, and he’s very kind. Meanwhile Saizo doesn’t seem to care about his surroundings and always keep that coldness of him.

“I can see the reason why Yukimura is so popular, but… Saizo…?” I mumble to myself, until…

“I know, right?”

“Huh?” someone agreed to my opinion and I quickly turn to face the source of that voice, “E-err…”

“Oh, forgive me, I forgot to introduce myself!” she laughs with such beauty and elegance. Whoa, does this girl really exist in our school? I didn’t know, “My name is Kobayashi Chiaki. And you?”

“Me? Ah, I’m Rin. Nice to meet you, Kobayashi.”

“Nice to meet you too, Rin! And please, just call me Chiaki. Both of us will get confuse after all.”

“Both?”

“Oh, I was talking about my twin sister. See? She’s over there.”

I follow her gaze, and I see a girl with a low twintail stands in the middle of busy and noisy canteen. Apparently she’s staring silently at Saizo with an unreadable expression. Though, I wonder why…

That small back of her…. looks so… lonely.

“I hate that Saizo, you see.” Chiaki suddenly mumbles.

“Why?” I ask her in curiousity.

“Before we met Saizo, Chise was a cheerful girl. She didn’t has this kind of flat expression. I miss her laughs.”

“Chise? Oh, so that’s her name.”

“When we met Saizo, Chise suddenly became like this up until now. I don’t know what did happen between them, but I surely hate Saizo for taking my sister’s soul…!”

Whoa, that’s a dark expression you have there…!

Also, Chise is still alive, oi…!

*later, in corridor*

“Ugh, in the end I didn’t get to eat anything… I guess I will just ask Ane to share her lunch? Will she even give it to me, though?”

As I’m wondering what to do about my empty stomach, I see our another popular student is currently….scolding….another student, I guess? I mean, it’s him. The famous one-eyed student council president, Date Masamune. He’s holding a… ah… adult magazine…

The owner of that magazine is no one but his own cousin, Date Shigezane. Masamune is likely your image of a full moon in the cold night, and Shigezane is the sun in the bright and clear blue sky. These two are so… unique, I think.

“Shigezane, how many times do I have to remind you, stop bringing this kind of magazine to school!”

“Sorry, Masa. But you see, my friend asked me the other day—“

“I don’t care about your friend. Just stop breaking the rules at school. Don’t bring shame to our family.”

“I know, I know… but Masa—“

“No buts.” Masamune hits Shigezane’s head with the magazine lightly.

“Masa, you’re no fun! I am fine with all the scolding, but I can’t let you not enjoy your highschool life!”

“Why are we talking about me now?”

Then, I see a young teacher walks in the corridor and approach those two. That teacher is still in training, or so I heard. His name is Katakura Kojuro.

“I personally agree with Shigezane about you should enjoy your highschool life.” Mr. Katakura said with a smile, “But I disagree about enjoy it by reading an adult magazine at school.”

“Ugh….” Shigezane pouts, “Kojuro, you’re so harsh…”

“Call me Mr. Katakura….!”

I chuckle a little at their conversation as I continue on my way to my class.

*finally, classroom*

As I sit down on my chair, I let out a very long sigh. Ane who just done ate her lunch is looking at me, worried, “Are you okay, Rin?”

“I don’t think so… ugh… I’m hungry…”

“How about your bread?”

“Sold out…”

“That’s too bad. And I just finished my lunch too… I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s fine.”

I guess I just have to hang in there a little bit. Ugh, I hope I can survive this.

Oh wait, this could be my chance to start on my diet!

“Your face…”

“Huh?” I look up, and I see a girl with right sided ponytail is looking down at me in front of my desk.

“Your face looks terrible. Have you had your lunch?”

“Uhh, not yet….”

“The bread that she wanted to eat just sold out.” Ane added and explained my horrible situation. Okay, that’s a bit exaggerating.

“I see…” the girl suddenly holds out a skewer of dango in front of me, “Here. At least have this. You don’t always have to eat bread to fill your stomach, right?”

“Ah, thank you. Then, I take your offer, err…”

“Shimizu Ryuu. Just call me Ryuu, okay? We’re classmate after all.”

“I see. Okay, Ryuu. Thank you!” as I eat the dango, I suddenly realize, “Wait, didn’t Saizo just buy…”

“Ah, I got this from him.”

“What? He shared his dango?!”

“Err, it will be a long story, but to make it short… yes? Hahaha.”

“Wow, that Saizo is actually sharing his dango.”

Ane seems confused, “Why are you so surpised? Sharing food is normal thing, right?”

Ryuu answers with a wry smile, “Well, not for Saizo, you see. You can say he’s quite a stingy when it came to dango.”

“Then why did you…?”

“Like I said, it will be a long story, so let’s just assume he happened to be in the mood to share? Hahaha.”

This Ryuu girl…

Could it be… she’s Saizo’s girlfriend?

Maybe she’s hiding it because she afraids Saizo’s popularity will go down. Also, maybe to avoid that bullying stuff and all…

Whoa, that’s an exciting love story, indeed. I wonder if that’s true.

*then, afterschool*

On my way to my home, while walking on the side of the road, I feel a sudden cold breeze is hitting my skin. Ugh, I guess it’s still a bit cold after all. I should have brought my jacket.

Hm?

Though, not long after I said that, I feel a cold water droplets on my cheeks, and gradually it became the rain that pours down heavily.

Oh, shoot! I better find a shelter!

I run as fast as I can, until finally I arrive in front of a traditional japanese sweets store. Okay, good. At least I find a place to—

“Stupid wench?”

“Huh?” I know that voice. Yes, I know it pretty well. And that rude way of speaking. It belongs to no one but, “You!! The rude guy in the morning!”

“Now who is the rude one?!” he glares while eating his strawberry daifuku.

“Ugh…. I guess my first day isn’t really that perfect after all…”

“…..”

“I got shoved by a rude guy in the morning, my favourite bread sold out, I only ate one skewer of dango, and now I’m stuck under a heavy rain with YOU out of all people…”

“I really wonder who is the rude one now…”

“How sucks.”

“How noisy.”

“Why are you even here?”

“And what’s the point of telling you?”

“Okay, forget it.”

“……”

“……..”

Urgh, this guy, I swear. He’s such an annoying and arrogant brat! My first step of my passionate and beautiful youth isn’t as smooth as I imagine—

“Achoo!” oh, great. Why does it has to be this cold anyway? What a bad timing.

Though, not long until I feel a warmth over my head. I touch and try to feel it, and I realized it’s his coat. This is quite a big one. Is a guy’s body really this big?

Wait wait wait wait!!

What are you even thinking?!

W-well, at least now I know that he has a good side to—

“Don’t make such annoying face.”

“Huh?!”

“I just don’t want you to spread your virus to my daifuku.”

“Now I won’t.”

“Great. And I suppose you know how to watch your attitude, right?”

“Grr…”

“What do we have to say again?”

“…an… you…”

“What? I can’t hear you~”

“….tha… ou…”

“Louder~”

“T-thank you!”

“Hmph.” He quickly puts on a satisfied grin on his face.

Urgh, I take my words back! He’s seriously the worst guy ever!!

To be continued

P.S: do expect a very slow update. Huhu, sorry.

[ecotone99]

[MF] Pink Roses

For a while, the sky was the same colour as the roses. A warm pink. Ahmad blinked. He knew pink was a girly color, but he quite liked this color. The best bubblegum was also pink, he reasoned. So is strawberry ice-cream, which is easily the best flavor. His favourite shirt was pink on the inside. Whenever he had to write or draw something, he would use the pencil which was blue but was striped with pink. The eraser perched like a crown on top of it was also pink. The pencil was almost a stub now, but the eraser remained curiously new and unused. This was because he treated it carefully, and secretly made sure to always use a separate eraser to preserve the fresh pinkishness. Guava juice, was also pink. He looked up at the dusky sky. In all of his 6 years, the color pink had consistently made it into his favourites. He looked at the roses fondly. He had only recently been allowed into the garden, and had fallen in love with it. He would go out in the afternoon sun in shorts and a loose T-shirt just after the gardener left. He would go and lie face up in the corner, arms beneath his head. The air smelled of freshly cut grass. In the shade, the sun didn’t sting and he could look in wonder at the sky. The clouds floating by, his imagination soared as he conjured creatures which would match their shapes. He was grateful bees buzzed, because then he knew he had to go in the opposite direction. But he didn’t mind bees, at least he knew to stay away. They minded their business, and he minded his. “The honey business is getting very tough these days, beta.” ,his father has said to him while looking for sugar to add to his tea, “ You see they’re closing down the nests because they don’t have enough money to pay the bees with and now all of them have to work extra-hard and bring more nectar so they can make more honey so that they can keep their jobs. All the nest cares is about making honey.” “But what about the queen of the nest wouldn’t she let them stay if they-‘’ ‘’Yeah no, she doesn’t care.” said his father curtly while stirring his tea and looking for phone “ All she cares is that she gets lots of nice, golden honey so she can get fat’’ His mother loudly cleared her throat across the table and looked at her husband. He gulped, and in added in small voice ‘’uhhh, and, umm, keeping the pollen count low for weak kids with allergies.’’ Ahmad looked at him confused. Her mother shook her head. However sad bees losing their job was, he didn’t really feel anything towards them. Butterflies were nice, even though he never really got why they were called butterflies. There was really nothing buttery about them. They were the least buttery thing he had ever seen. He thought about the yellow chunk of fat in the fridge, and looked at them fluttering about. He concluded naming was a bit stupid. But of all the insects, flying or grounded, he hated flies. They always disturbed his cloud sessions by sitting on his nose or the tip of his ear or his neck. The sky had started to lose it pinkishness, and he knew his nana abu (grand father) is going to come out for his evening stroll. He avoided him carefully and vigilantly. He was stern and old and scary and angry-looking. He had told his mother this, she had said stern and angry-looking is the same thing, and that it’s rude to call him any of that. So he didn’t. But he stayed wary of him, always in the shadows whenever he was around. Thankfully, he didn’t care. He would come to stay for a few days every month. He looked like professor out of a movie. This was mainly because he was, in fact, a professor. Skinny and short, he would always wear a tweed coat with a scowl and shoes and a belt that was either brown or black, and a bush shirt which was either green or blue. He had messy white hair which had no discernable direction, standing up at odd ends. They were long and were a lot considering how most old people had little hair. He had told his father this, and observed his bald head go red as he fumbled with his phone. His nana abu terrified him. His mother had asked him how long will he continue to avoid his grandfather. He made a thoughtful expression, and her mother looked at him hopefully. “Till the end of time.’’ he concluded. Her face dropped. And then one day he saw his nana come back home during midday. He knew, of course, that he was going to come and had made arrangements to wait by the large windows of the drawing room. He casually looked out and saw the professor take small steps towards the main door. Ami had said his knees were getting weaker by the day. The sun made his face look older and his scowl more prominent. But then stopped, and looked at Ahmad’s pink roses. His eyes narrowed, he bent forward and slowly and picked put a rose. It was one of the smaller, weaker rose of amid the pink healthy ones. Ahmad knew because he made sure that he gave them extra water with his water bottle so that they could be like the other ones. The professor put two fingers under the bud and held it like people hold wine glasses in films. Ahmad was looking curiously when suddenly, to his horror, the professor squeezed the fingers together and turned his palm over and effectively beheading the rose. Ahmad gasped as he threw the limp, dead flower on the driveway meaninglessly. His short walk to the main door had turned into a menacing reign of disaster as he continued to do the same across the flower bed, flinging them with disregard onto the gray lifeless pavement. As he came inside and went upstairs, Ahmad bolted outside. He picked up the mangled pink roses. He looked at them sadly, and decided to give them a funeral. He went inside and got an old shoebox, a green and pink marker. He drew a rose on it, put them inside and decided that he would bury it someday when his mother would buy him they shovel he had been promised. The one in the garden was far too heavy. The next day, to his horror, the professor did the same thing. Ahmad quietly picked them and put them in the shoebox. It was half full already. He decided the professor must be stopped. He told his mother that her father is a killer. Her husband chuckled while using his phone on the other side of the room, but quickly gulped apologetically when she glared at him. Very soon, they were in a heated discussion with each other that had very little to do with flowers or the professor. Ahmed quietly left the room. He looked at the half-full shoe box, and decided action must be taken. The next day, he localized all weak flowers. He wondered if he could tell them to shoot their thorns at the professor when he comes, but reasoned that could seriously injured him and that they could go into his eyes or his nose and then he would kill all of the remaining flowers in an angry rampage. So he decided he will put ribbons around the weaker ones and that way he would know that they are special. He looked carefully and tied ribbons on all of the ones that weren’t full bodied and were weak-looking. He didn’t know many knots, so he just wrapped them around many times. The ribbons were his sisters and, like most things she owned, pink. The professor came around, and without any hesitance, proceeded with the massacre. Later, Ahmed filled his shoebox and saw it nearly full. The ones from before were becoming smaller and crispy and turning a brownish gray. At least that would free up more space, a perverse silver lining. He shook his head. The man scared him, but he decided that he must face the professor. He had run out of ideas. He contemplated putting up a sign which specifically asked to not pluck the roses but that too, he figured, would be ignored like the ribbons. Tomorrow, he decided. And so tomorrow came. Ahmad waited, his stomach churning and his forehead beaded with sweat. He had decided if the professor walked straight across the drive way to the door, he would not approach him. He would not need to. And so the professor came, and made straight for the door. Ahmad sighed in relief, he might actually not have to deal with him today. But suddenly, as if something caught the corner of his eye, the professor turned and deftly approached the flower bed. Ahmad ran from his vantage point by the window. ‘’AAAAAAAARGHHHH!’’ The professor turned at him and blinked, equally surprised and confused. Ahmad’s face was burning, but his mouth went cold and his tongue dry. He noticed, for the first time, the professor had a very intense gaze. He had never experienced it directly because, well, he had never been in front of him directly. “Why do you kill roses every day?’’ he blurted. The professor registered the young boy, tanned and sweaty and awkward. He realized this is the first time he is seeing his grandson properly in a long time, and he strangely reminded him so much of his own daughter. He was, of course, a boy. But the look of defiance was the same. His voice, and his expression, softened. ‘’What do you mean?” he asked politely. Ahmad hesitated for a second, looked side to side uncomfortably. Whatever he thought, he believed with reverence, and found the idea of explaining it bizarre. “ I mean…..you come home and you kill roses every day and you throw them away….’’ The little boy looked towards the roses sadly. The sun shone at an angle, and both of them were separated by long shadows of roses. For every delicate stem and creamy flower, there lay a long expanse of darkness. ‘’I remove them. It’s sort of like pruning, it makes the entire patch look better. And more beautiful ones grow instead of the ones I remove. Gardeners do it too, cutting of odd angled stems and dead wood and the defective roses.” He had been careful not to use the word kill. ‘’It makes everything more beautiful’’ he reiterated, somewhat pathetically. ‘’But why?” Ahmed asked, his eyes narrowing. ‘’They are already beautiful.” He was right, the professor thought. The were luxurious and tall, somehow pale and vibrant at the same time. But he quickly saw a browning, small odd looking rose and quickly said: “The ones I remove aren’t really very beautiful you see. Like this one here,’’ he moved towards it and pointed “ it ruins the view see so, umm, you have to remove it.’’ ‘’Kill it, you mean’’ Ahmad said icily. The professor remained quite. Ahmad felt his courage grow. ‘’It’s going to die and fall off after sometime either way. There’s not really any harm in letting them be. The roses still look beautiful.” The professor was about to start how dead and dying roses become a nidus for disease and more than ugliness they affect the health of the plant but quickly stopped himself. The years had taught him to reconsider everything he said before he said it and sometimes even while he was saying it. He saw that his grandchild was operating on a gentler philosophy of love and life. Pure and innocent and untarnished by the conveniences of life. He has not yet learned the hard lesson which all of us learn about the futility of so much that we do in life, and he is seething with aliveness. If he can love a rose so earnestly, the professor did not want to tarnish his pure concern with pitiful gardening advice. He beamed at his grandson, proud of him. He felt his eyes sting a bit. Age had made him curiously sentimental. “You’re right.’’ he said to Ahmad warmly. ‘’ I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.’’ Ahmad was dumbfounded. Never ever had an adult apologized to him, let alone the sternest man he knew. He asked his nana abu whether he would like to bury the roses with him, who looked quizzically back at him. He showed him the shoe box, and told him how he had tied ribbons too and he intended on giving them a funeral. The old man’s eyes widened and he told him that he didn’t notice the ribbons at all. Ahmad conceded they were a bit hard to notice. Ahmad noticed his eyes were shiny, and his expression was no longer stern. He could not believe he had been afraid of him for so long. He took his nana abu’s hand, and the two went to the bury the roses.

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