#'sssshhhhhhh' i say

[blindmagdalena]

Heeyy a bit of a self indulgent ask here but I had a phobia/trauma trigger today and it caused me to have a messy sobbing panic attack. Do you have anything on how Homelander would deal with his s/o having a panic attack like that? almost completely inconsolable. I know this is self serving and indulgent and I’m sorry for over sharing homelander is a comfort character for me and you write him exquisitely. If you’re not comfortable with this just ignore

Homelander was sixteen when he had his first panic attack. He'd flown further and faster away than he'd ever had the freedom to and collapsed in a dense woodland, sobbing and rocking his body against the cool forest floor.

He'd pulled his hair so hard it should have come loose, grit his teeth so tightly they should have cracked, and choked so badly on his own constricting throat that it should have caved in.

They didn't. He's invulnerable, after all. As solid as marble.

It was the first attack, but not the last.

That's how he recognizes it so quickly in you.

"Hey," he says, ears attuned to the rabbit-like pound of your heart. "Heyy, hey, it's okay. I'm right here, you see me? Hey." He's only just found you, he doesn't know yet what your trigger was, but he can ascertain that later.

Your staccato breaths and sharp sobs, the sea salt smell of tears streaking your cheeks, are nearly enough to rouse his own panic by proxy. He needs it to stop. He needs you to stop. He cares about you too much for you to scare him like this.

"Hey, you hear me?" He asks, cupping either side of your face. You can't answer through it. Your tongue is gnarled with panic and you're sobbing so hard he fears you'll choke yourself on it. He's not even sure you see him.

He takes you into his arms, one moving smoothly around your waist while the other cups the back of your head. He holds gently at first, grip gradually tightening, compressing your body against his in the hopes that the hammer of your heart will meet and match the steady beat of his own.

"Sssshhhhhhh," he shushes by your ear, lifting you just enough to keep you on your feet, but take from you the weight of your own body.

"I've got you. Whatever it is, it's okay. It's okay. I've got you. M'gonna take care of it, alright? Ssshh," he says, rocking you the same way he used to rock himself in the corner of the bad room, soothing himself with the thump of his own skull against those sterile white walls.

He knows it's working when you slip your arms around him in turn. He continues to hush you, whispering more honeyed assurances in your ear, the core sentiment always the same.

I'm here. You're safe. I love you.

It's everything he can think that he always wanted to hear in these moments of raw, horrifically human weakness.

Eventually, your breaths begin to even out, though your heart continues to thunder in his ears, still convinced that the danger hasn't yet vanished. He tries not to take that personally and scoops you up the rest of the way into his arms.

"That's it, just like that," he coos, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead. "Breathe. Breathe. Good... Light as a feather now, okay? Like you can fly," he tells you, sharing the greatest comfort he's ever known. His only real escape has always been his weightlessness, the ability to shed gravity at will. He uses his strength in an attempt to share even a sliver of that sense of freedom with you.

Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. All he knows is that your heart starts to slow alongside the flow of your tears. He kisses your wet cheeks, the bridge of your nose, your forehead. He whispers praise and love with each one, voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry," you choke out. He's appalled that would be your first instinct.

"Don't," he says firmly, though his voice is still low. "Don't. I can carry it for you. Carry you. What's the point of super strength otherwise?" He murmurs, a smile playing at the edges of his lips.

You almost smile back, and that's enough for him. He kisses the crease between your brows until it smooths, and the highs of your cheeks until the tears dry up, and your lips until they're ready to speak again.

He'll hold you for as long as it takes your body to realize the threat was only ever in your mind, and that there isn't a thing in this goddamn world he would ever let hurt you.

[siremasterlawrence]

Captain America: Karmic Justice

“Where….where am I?” Steve Rogers wake up in a groggy state in his eyes as he rubs them awake and he shook his head in utter disbelief.

“Mr. Roger’s my name is Lawrence…I am a very huge fan.”

“Tell me what’s going on…why am I tied down?”

“Relax! Please settle down”

“Fine! I explain all of this.”

“I was on a Shield Carrier stopping The Red Skull and then it exploded.” He says trying his best to remember.

“Yes you were! I saved you from the water and rebirth it.” 

“Rebirth me! No that sounds like nonsense Stark would spout.” He says wagging his finger at me.

“Sssshhhhhhh! Not quite! “ I say putting my finger on his lips.

“Be a good boi and close your eyes as I 

will explain to you.” I say closing mine channeling my energy into him. 

“Go to sleep and let me assume control.”

I am whispering into his aids then kiss his cheek as he falls a sleep.

“Your body collapses to the floor giving me all access to this sexy as fuck body I will use and consume.

“In reality you reached home, you are laying in your bed staring at spiral hypnosis video as your mind molds to mine.” I continue to tell him.

“Uuuugggghhhh….fuck” 

“What the matter Captain? Have you kindly learned your lesson?”

I disrobe my clothes quickly getting dressed in some scrubs as I approach the bed in his room and I lay both of palms on the sides of his head as my energy surges through both of my hands. The energy charges up toward my shoulders down my arms into his palms as I sent a wave of electrical current into his head I watch his body jolt up into the air as he pops. His body so electrocuting through all sides he goes wailing out of control in a sea of heat shooting upward into a strong stirring cock and his semen shooting up covering his pants. 

I giggle a bit letting the current take the form of hands sliding down into his crotch area letting them enter into his pants and into his underwear playing with his cock. I plant my lips on his as I kiss him giving in to my urges as I rubbing his shoulder’s so hard,then the same thing happens with more hands appear playing with his pecs then nipples. I smile climbing on top of him crawling upward till we reach each other in face value connecting myself with him skin to skin and I knew I deserve him more than anything in the world the man of my dreams on a whole new level.

“Can you hear me Captain America?”

“Mmmmhhhmmmnn”

“Answer me”

“Yes!”

“Can I call you Steve?”

“Call me Steve”

“Excellent! Let me explain something to you”

“I am listening “

“We are best friends”

“No Bucky!”

“We are best friends not you a who? Bucky”

“Who is Bucky!”

“I am so perfect! We are best friends “

“Who do you love?”

“Peggy?”

“Ugh! Why do you love that woman? A woman period.”

“Yuck why! I hate Peggy”

“You are madly in love with me Bucky”

“Your body is Godly!”

“Oh! It’s nothing”

“Are you ok with this?”

“Feeling me up?”

“So solid! So strong “

“Steve! I love you “

“You do? Oh My God!”

“Are you shocked?”

“Who are you ?”

“I am your God! Hero! Lover!”

“I am in your every thought and you can’t deny it.”

“Totally you are biting your lips and squirming m.”

“ I can’t help it !”

“You guess?”

“I know”

“I mean, I swear”

“May I kiss you Steve”

“I am begging you too”

“Steve do you remember me?”

“Yes! My love”

“I am your Master”

“Yes Master”

“Address me properly “

“Sir Yes Sir”

“Good boi”

“Mmmmm”

“It feels intoxicating “

“Like a dream “

“So freaking…”

“Sweet “

“It’s addictive “

“100 percent “

“You’re all that matters”

“This body?”

“You’re playground “

“I want to play “

“Master Lawrence “

“Yes boi”

“As you kiss me”

“It is essentially life “

“It brought me back”

“The only life that matters”

“Cope with us”

“Hold me”

“Big man like you “

“Who am I?”

“My slave “

“What am I?”

“A slave “

“A pussy “

“A bitch”

“My property”

“A work horse “

“Take me”

Steve’s eyes popping open staring into the ceiling as he comes to with such excitement that overtook him in a sea of utter joy and happiness that revolves over me in lust of undulated desire.I can see his weakened mind finally go in to overdrive breaking his mind as he sits up on the bed rising his back onto the pillow in a fit of heat and he spun about of face me his one true love. I can swear my heart to steal his last love Peggy from him and he wouldn’t even care that I would or notice that I am etching even closer to her and taking her by my hands as she swoons.

Cupping his chin I yank him a bit closer to me slowly, softly and with more love than I  have ever mustered for any single person or thing in my existence till now and he leans in to my body. Our lips smash onto each other so softly as they glisten, wet, sexy and total flappy in the light and my arms wrap on his muscular muscles and groping his ass tight right now. He smirks kissing me pinning me to the table climbing onto me as he kisses me a bit more and more rubbing my body.up he has fallen in love with me and all I can do is accept my absolute rule,

The end

[guiltygearconfessions]

the thing with dizzy and sin is easy to explain. guilty gear wanted legacy characters without aging up their established cast. that’s literally it. it’s why dizzy’s 8, and sin’s 5.

dizzy’s entire existence is canon breaking. people have been debating about her origins and her parentage for decades at this point. old fandom debates like justice is a mom?! how?! is kliff or sol dizzy’s dad? how could justice be dizzy’s mom when she was in an interdenominational seal in between the end of the crusades and missing link’s tournament? was dizzy born in the seal? if so, how did she escape the seal??! if sol is dizzy’s dad then when was dizzy conceived? is sol only dizzy’s dad in the sense he’s the prototype gear and kinda the “father of gears” the way justice is the “mother/juno”? justice is a woman? good for her! rip queen

her storymode intro in ggx+ claims that “she’s three but mentally and physically equivalent to a 20 year old human,” and that doesn’t make sense! she looks like baby’s first deviant art oc but guess what this is guilty gear! all the characters are like that to some extent! sometimes you gotta suspend your disbelief for the sake of the story.

dizzy was created to a character that is a peer to the rest of the cast, but because of her backstory the writers had to BS an origin that does not conflict with the rest of the established cast and setting.

but honestly, if the writers retcon her into to being 40 years old by strive i wouldn’t bat an eye. though some might say, wouldn’t that be a plot hole because that would mean dizzy was alive during the crusades making there be two command gears?!?? to that i say sssshhhhhhh-shut up! just wave it off has her fucking off in the demon forest. her backstory is held together by duck tape and string what’s a little retcon gonna do?

sin is a similar case but with a different intention. the story needed a rebellious teenager that’s in conflict with one of their bio parents like rock howard. but again they can’t age up the established cast too much off screen, though they did give ky a beard in concept art. doing that would make overture even more controversial than it once was. (back then some people straight up thought overture was an AU that was going to discarded when arcsys regains their IPs.) as a result a lot of development happens in such a little time. also fandom estimates of sin’s age in overture started at 5, then as xrd and strive progressed it went down to 3. Like we are just now getting a clear timeline on these guys. we keep aging them back to fit things in.

there’s a reason why barely any of the guilty gear characters have their ages listed as ??? or unknown and it’s the same reason why ky, one of the only characters with a canon age, is now a gear. the franchise wants to avoid aging their cast as much as they can. canon will bend itself over to justify keeping these characters at their current age.

-

[always-andromeda]

hiiiii oh my gosh it's story time!! (I'm taking a very un-deserved break from grading tests to write this but sssshhhhhhh, no one need to know)

my school district was pretty large, so both my middle and high school were really big, so it's hard to say if there was one controversy that united everyone, since it was more like you would have your little circle and then within groups there would be controversies

for the crazy academic kids (which I was only a little involved with, but I had a friend who was much more personally affected), the ability to take AP Euro in sophomore year absolutely divided the group. like, those who took it became insufferable snobs and the fact that they were taking AP Euro became a Personality Trait and it was all they would ever talk about. my friend who was more involved called it a "cult," which honestly was pretty accurate. anyway, it totally wrecked that friend group bc the AP Euro kids were kinda mean to everyone else and had this weird superiority complex

oh and I don't think this was really all that much of a ~controversy~ but I will shout out my high school for being one of the first in the country to do a gender-neutral prom court/prom royalty. it was something we had to sign a petition for, but it passed, which was fantastic! so then instead of electing 10 women and 10 men, we just elected 20 people regardless of gender identity and the two with the most votes became the "royalty." courts and dances were something I had like negative 100 interest in, but I still think it was a great step and a really awesome message to send about inclusivity

honestly I feel like there has to be some other ones but I cannot think of them right now, so if any come to me in an epiphany, I will annoyingly send in another ask 😅

really curious to hear everyone else's!

and, as always, thank you for hosting ☺️💙

Ahhhh, hey again, Charlotte!!!! 🥰 I’m gonna give you your own tag on here because uGH I always love hearing from you lol. I’m bestowing you with the little palette emoji since I always love to see your art posts!!

I’m sorry but academic kid drama is always SO funny to me because it’s like. GOD. Aren’t y’all busy enough without worrying about beefing over your fuckin’ GPA or what classes you’re taking?? 🥲 Like I was taking essentially AP classes and bro I was so busy that I didn’t have the energy nor the want to be all cocky about it??

And while that second one absolutely shouldn’t be controversial, I still think it absolutely fantastic!! I was never super into the whole prom thing when I was in high school either, but I still love when I see those little steps being made just to make inclusivity more normal? Because I don’t think many folks truly realize how prevalent cis-normative and heteronormative ideas are in everything. So I love to hear that tidbit. ☺️❤️

[ladychraelix]

wip twwwwwmmmmmmmmmmwednesday :)

close enough

notable yarn wizard stephen west is back at it again and released the first clue to this year's mystery knit-a-long, "twists and turns", last thursday, and this is my progress up to this point, including a lil pic of what those ladders are actually for.

(i've been holding off on actually doing that mostly just so it's easier to knit, but i think i can leave that much done up)

now, to finish clue one i need 14 tan stripes.

i have done seven. :^)

still,,, still got a ways to go here,,,,,,,,,

[ashintheairlikesnow]

A thought:

Paul and Ronnie with tiny new Tristan, Ronnie on the phone at midnight with Paul's mom crying because she doesn't know how to make Tris stop crying and Paul's mom saying that Paul used to be just the same if it was too quiet at night.

"I used to hum," Paul's mom says, sleepy but trying to help, knowing Ronnie can't go to her own parents for assistance. "Hum until I lost my voice, until I was hoarse. Just hum and hum, or whisper 'sssshhhhhhh' over and over again. He needed the sound to feel not alone."

Paul's mom coming over to watch Tris for a few hours on Paul's day off, while Ronnie takes a test for her GED.

After the test, Ronnie and Paul going out and buying a little white noise machine shaped like a dinosaur.

"That isn't shaped like any real dinosaur," Paul says, but he agrees that it is better than the other choices.

They plug it in and it's the first time Tris sleeps peacefully.

Ronnie wakes up in a panic, sure something has gone terribly wrong, and looks with her heart in her throat to find baby Tris awake and looking calmly around, staring with fascination at his own fingers.

[fuck-customers]

“Hello-“ no “could you-” absolutely not “how are-“ go away “check in-“ no❤️ “I’m the customer here and-“ shhhhh quiet baby it’s okay to go to bed sometimes just sssshhhhhhh…… I just….I simply don’t wanna listen to it anymore. I don’t even care if they’re nice. Just don’t look at me. Don’t perceive me. I don’t work here anymore. I do not work at all. I am a mere figment of your imagination and I’m gonnnna jump off the roof if you say one more word….❤️ thank you for understanding ❤️

Imma still work because ya know…late stage capitalism and slave labour but I do not want to anymore

[mystic-kitten-writer]

We know zukos fav position is concubine... but yue??? I feel like when she's not being dominated and zuko let's her do her thing... probably reverse cow girl??? I'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

Sssshhhhhhh

Don't spoil the "Yue tries to dom Zuko" bonus chapter 👀

[fandomsumthing]

I got this advanced teacher, really nice guy, and he’s teaching me shit. Like how to tell directions in your head instead of going “Boop and a bop and sssshhhhhhh” so I can draw more accurately. But where’s the fun in that? Where’s the SHAZAM in saying “Now left curve”? It’s so much fun going “WE SWERVING BOYS!” While drawing a nose. Or “And abooma and a ban! He can see!”

[nomorelonelydays]

I matched with a russian dude on tinder and 2 seconds later he sent me a message saying "hello sweetie" i'm laughing so much i feel kinda bad but also who wants to make this a sidgeno au

listen sidney is SO CHARMED by that “hello sweetie” 

Flower: he sounds like my grandmaSidney: sssshhhhhhh

[purple-spring]

"Cole LIVED with Debby Ryan at one point " sssshhhhhhh dont tear down the otp of my teenhood(?????)

Cody and Bailey! ❤️ They were indeed super cute but I dare say Debby (and her cats) are huge supporters of SH. *cries while remembering “happy birthday angel babe” on Debby’s birthday post for Lili*

[elitaxne]

┊❛ CONSPIRACY ❜

♖. }

       ❝ If history is anything to go by I predict you will all be severely disappointed... Were something SUBSTANTIAL to have happened to either of them we would have heard by now, ❞ Councillor Merga drawled, taking another puff of his third cygar, flicking the ashy end into the collecting bowl. ❝ It is most likely the result of the virus that has been going around, and since she is BONDED with the Prime they rushed to Emergency to assure it would not affect him... ❞ he finished, expelling the bitter smoke from raspy vents.

❝ But, Merga, you weren’t there with her --- you didn’t see her. She looked like the Pit, worse than I’ve seen anyone afflicted with any virus, ❞ the younger mech continued, fidgeting with his stylus, ❝ If someone would’ve said she was dying I’d have believed them... ❞ he shivered, quickly taking a gulp of lukewarm mid-grade, trying to clear his processors of the sickly image.

❝ I do not think we would be lucky enough for that... ❞ a slightly older femme whispered to the same-aged Councillor beside her, who chuckled lowly with a knowing gaze. While their bets remained on a sudden spark-attack they knew better than to get their hopes up, Elita and Optimus remained unfortunately healthy mecha; plus hard to kill, they had survived the war after all...

Neon optics rolled at his colleague’s commentary, and Merga continued reading through his data pad with a dull even BORED expression. Everyone at the Towers had become mindlessly obsessed with the First Chair and Prime ever since Elita’s sickness a few hours ago. While their meeting had the intention of discussing the latest international trade proposal, it had been placed on hold --- along with the entire PLANET for that matter --- Cybertron came to a complete stop ever since news broke. And he couldn’t escape the madness despite his best efforts.

❝ Sh, sh, sh, quiet it’s back on !! ❞ an older mech cut in, waving the end of his cygar to Starburst at the opposite end of the table, ❝ Hey, Sweetspark, turn the volume up a bit will you? ❞

The red femme begrudgingly complied with a scowl, dragging a digit tip over the control screen just as the broadcast credits came to view. It took every ounce of strength NOT to leap across the table and defend Elita, but doing so would only make things worse --- her duty was simply to take notes for Elita if the meeting ever did occur. At least Merga remained civil, oddly enough, dutifully working on the trade proposal like they were suppose to be doing... at least, that’s what she assumed. Whatever it was he was reading and writing he seemed more invested in than the newscast.

[ Anchor ] >> For those of you just joining us here is the developing situation: Just before mid-day today Councillor Elita-1 fell violently and suddenly ill while in the Council Towers, and was promptly admitted to the clinic alongside Optimus Prime via Emergency Ground Bridge. <<

❝ Yeah, yeah, get to the good stuff. Is she offline or--- ❞

❝ SSSSHHHHHHH--- !! ❞

[ Anchor ] >> ... We have yet to receive any word on the Councillor and Prime’s condition, but sources close to the case report they have been moved to a private wing, specializing in spark health and safety, with Doctor Atria and her team. Again, if you are just joining us, we cannot confirm any diagnosis nor the Councillor and Prime’s condition, and have yet to receive confirmation on any current speculation. <<

Resounding ‘Awws’ filled the large meeting room as the frustration seeped from nearly every EM Field and filled the air like a thick fog. Starburst shifted in her seat, sharing a brief glance with Councillor Merga before peeling her gaze back to the screen. Hopefully, the silence on Optimus and Elita’s end of things was a good sign, but even then she didn’t know for sure. They had a healthy sparkling last time as well, but upon emergence was when things took a turn for the worse...

[ Anchor ] >> In the meantime we have our panel of experts weighing in from across Cybertron. On behalf of all of us at the station we thank you all for joining us. To start, what would you say given the current situation? <<

[ Expert 1 ] >> Thank you for having me. First off I would like to say that from a Medical standpoint, it really is rather obvious what could have caused this. If we look at this not as an isolated event but over a course of time it’s easy to piece together the puzzle. There have been multiple reports speculating the Councillor’s slow decline in health. Colleagues have gone on record stating she has been working less and less, public appearances have declined from minimum to non-existent, and both her and the Prime have been frequenting the clinic for months leading to this event. <<

[ Expert 2 ] >> Pardon the interjection, but to your point: it’s also no secret that the First Chair had health problems prior to this. On her public records she is listed to have a degenerative disease --- stemming from the T-Cog --- but in some cases have been reported to link back to the spark chamber. <<

[ Expert 1 ] >> Yes, exactly. But also keep in mind, being bonded to Optimus, who currently acts as host for the Matrix of Leadership, there was a rather large concern that the relic’s energies could prove benign, and over time, cause adverse affects on the second half of the bond. Mixed with pre-existing health defects it is not impossible to believe that perhaps the spark, over time, has simply dwindled on its own accord. <<

Merga swivelled in his chair to glance up at the large screen. ❝ Primus... ❞ he sneered, turning incredulously to his colleagues, ❝ Of course, you all realize that is HERESY, do you not? ❞ Immediate shushes met the strange words of protest and the elder mech went back to smoking his cygar, reading over his newest messages with a prickling field. He had at least done his part and tried to speak against things...

[ Anchor ] >> By those measures then, would you all say the Matrix itself is rejecting the bond and in doing so, inflicting the sickness? <<

[ Expert 3 ] >> I certainly would, it’s the only logical explanation. No one knows the full breadth of the Matrix power, nor the intricacies, and certainly being sparkmates with another is an unprecedented occurrence One that has NEVER before happened in the history of the Primacy. But here is what we DO know about the Matrix from the teachings... <<

Merga had completely tuned out the broadcast by now, tilting his data pad closer to the navy and gold chassis to better read the new message from his contact at the clinic.

          CONTACT > [ Preparing to move from observation room to surgery. ]           CONTACT > [ Our team has everything blocked. Press can’t get through. No leaks. ]             MERGA   > [ Is it as we suspected? ]           CONTACT > [ Yes. Medical team wheeled in two protoforms. ]

Ridges narrowed as neon optics flicked across the screen, fighting the sudden SPIKE in his spark-pulse though he was sure the apparent shock spilled briefly into his field.

           MERGA   > [ Singular extraction? ]          CONTACT > [ No. Overhead Atria; twins. ]

Merga felt his own spark LURCH into his intake, and he choked on his cygar --- though hardly anyone else in the room noticed or offered to assist in the wheezing, shushing him to listen to the broadcast. Slowly regaining his composure he managed a reply.

          MERGA   > [ Are you certain? ]         CONTACT > [ Affirmative. ]

                                Of all the unfortunate news to hear...

Merga stifled another hoarse cough, grinding his denta behind a hardened jawline with a force that nearly threatened to unhinge the joints. TWINS. Not one but TWO spawns of the Prime now sat between him and the Primacy, likely by purpose --- an extra addition to make up for the number they lost with Saiph. He certainly had to hand it to Optimus and Elita, assuring a safety cushion to their legacy with kin. A clever political move, and even larger commitment.

He --- and his trusted circle for that matter --- had all been banking on the possibility Elita had been carrying, but never did they think such would come to fruition with DOUBLE their expectations. Finishing off his cygar he blunted the end in the glass collecting bowl, taking it upon himself to dismiss the meeting, not that it mattered.

Neon optics flashed up at red plating, finding Elita’s young Assistant frozen in place, worry and apprehension etched on smooth fascia. Merga let his mouth twitch into a crooked grin, tipping his helm to the side as her large sapphire optics met his. She would be of use to him later, so of course, he remained cordial. The less she suspected him the better ( though he highly doubted such. Working so closely with Elita likely tainted her view of him ). It was a pity, really... Starburst seemed to be so competent and intelligent, he would’ve rather loved to have offered her a job in the future when --- Ah, well, in time perhaps...

Once out of the room he tapped at his comm, a familiar frequency, one that was expecting word from him...

                    ¦ ¦  The usual. One hour. I have a story for you...  ¦ ¦

[choisgirls]

n O love it's not gonna be okay this is a crisis!! ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д

toraod said:ooh also i forgot to say ‘xará’ is someone that has the same name as you fjsklajfals

*eye emoji* someone else has the name 4???????????????

sssshhhhhhh shshsshsh its okay i know its a crisis but the best way to handle a crisis is /calmly/

and dO IT. DO IT. TEXT ME PICTURES THE WHOLE TIME. PLEASE. YOU WILL SEE A FULL GROWN 4 CRY 

[pastime-shipping]

Hi! I loved my last ship and was hoping that if I could get a blurb ship with BTS? I'm a 5'2, brown eyed, curly haired, chubby, ENFJ, Latina that comes off as rude at first. But is considered unique (4D 👽), smart, and caring by friends. I love kdramas, kpop, anime, music, teaching, and learning. My ideal type is someone who can make me laugh but can also have a deep conversation with. And can handle me getting over excited about almost everything I love and can relate 😂. Thanks love 💕

Hi, thank you for requesting again @musiclbr!!

From BTS I shipped you with… V/Taehyung!

It was a boring day until Tae showed up. He had bribed you into marathoning some anime with you, despite you wanting to have a lazy day. The anime he picked made you want to have a lazy day even more. Though he said he didn’t, you think he picked the lamest anime he could find.

“Why are we watching this again?” You question, while the show drags on.

“Sssshhhhhhh,” Tae says as he pretends to be super into... whatever was happening. You stopped paying attention a while ago.

“How are you still watching this? Can’t we put on something else yet?”

“Nooo, it’s getting to the good part!” You could tell his tone of voice that he was lying.

“The only good part this show has is the ending.”

“Rude, but isn’t that what most shows want? To have the ending be one of the best parts?” Although Tae is being deep you could tell he was trying to hold back a laugh. You give him a look, it’s a valid point, but you want to be entertained right now not question life.

“Yeah but... this show... is terrible,” you say slowly. Tae tries to hide his giggling but just as you say terrible, the show goes silent so you can hear it clearly. “What’s so funny? Did you just want to hear me insult this show?” He nods at you right before he becomes a giggly mess.

// I hope you liked your ship, sorry for the wait!! //

[insomniac-arrest]

We Deserve a Soft Landing Love

pairing: lapidot

words: 4k

genre: angst

summary: Astronaut Peridot is at the International Space Station where she gets a transmission from a girl on a dying ship.

Ao3

warning: some questionable science, blood, puking; I’ve never done anything like this before so I’m really trying to flex my muscles as a writer! Angst.

2036

Astronauts really weren’t supposed to be alone. Not at the space station, it wasn’t made to run that way, three permanent residence were assigned at all times, and they were rarely alone.

But mistakes happen. A gash the size of her forearm down his side, red perfectly round droplets hanging in the air like ping-pong balls in suspended animation. A face as ashen as the grave and yelling, they never yelled.

Peridot was chosen for her composed personality, composed in theory, less so in practice. She watched her coworker burst open and heard NASA ringing in her ear: what would you even do with a dead body in space? But he wasn’t gone yet.

They pressed a template they never had before: cрочный спуск, the Soyuz computer sprang to life, emergency.

NASA kept ringing in her ears. Some young women named Janet was talking to her now, she was talking back.

Rod wasn’t going to make the journey if he went back alone. His eyes were barely open, red blooming droplets still swam in the room like liquid party balloons, Peridot never liked the word helpless.

She looked to Nikolai and told him to ‘get the fuck down there,’ someone needed to take the CRV shuttle down with him. Nikolai’s heavy-lidded eyes studied her, he pursed his lips, and she said it once more in Russian and then again in English.

They secured Rod’s bandage a second time, his warm face a distant star on the horizon. She grabbed onto his hand and told them ‘to get the fuck down there.’ They pressed cрочный спуск, the shuttle launched down with Kazakhstan readying down below, God, they had to be ready.

And she was alone.

Astronauts were not supposed to be alone.

The quiet was as engulfing as the urgency was before, Janet had apparently gone to take a break, they were on the sun side of the planet. Peridot started counting. It would take them 3.5 minutes to get back to earth. It would take three days for a shuttle to come back to the state. It would take three hours for the shuttle to be attached to the station.

It would take some undisclosed amount of time for them to sort out the politics down below. Astronaut's don’t just burst open. And Peridot was alone.

She continued as normal, there was nothing else to do, she had at the very least three days to herself, and there was cleaning to do. Maintenance, communication.

It turned into four days.

She was talking to a young man named Ted on the telecom now, she sort of hated young men named Ted at that moment.

Politics were messier than space and no one was even set up to relieve her yet. NASA was in some sort of limbo, Russia wasn’t talking. Peridot was alone.

It was the sixth day when the shuttle finally launched, a crew of three, Peridot had already forgotten their names, but she would have months to memorize them anyway.

Peridot was turning off the intercom whenever Ted buzzed in, but she didn’t notice the static until it started echoing off the hallways like a ghost. Though, Peridot didn’t believe in ghosts.

No self-respecting scientist believed in ghosts. They were on the planet side of the sun, dark, alone, dumping heat back into the square hallways through the vents.

Peridot heard the hush of static in her sleep, strapped down and frowning deeply as she screwed her eyes shut. It felt like she was getting tinnitus. For a moment she refused to wake up, she had to keep her schedule, or else what the fuck else was she going to have up here.

The static breaths again and her thoughts break off and on; finally, she sits up, after all, they don’t know what to do with dead bodies in space. She ripped her sleep mask off and cocked her head to the side.

Ssshhhhhh

She squirmed out of her restraints and floated to the side of the room, “It’s probably just Yulia messing with the frequencies planetside,” She mutters to herself, nicely hearing her own raw voice in the dark, “Just Yulia…” She pulled herself up and out, going to the communication bay while passing the wide yawning emptiness of the station. It could technically suit ten people, the size of a five-person house, but apparently, earth was still arguing. Two more days.

Sssshhhhhhh

She sighs and follows the noise, she really wasn’t in the mood for system malfunctions. She tapped on the screen of the newly installed video chat. It sprang to life with the headquarters of NASA asking who she would like to get ahold of today.

Peridot blinks. But no one was hailing her.

Sssshhhhhh

She looks around, her skin crawling slightly. None of the devices in the room were lighting up or winking at her. None of them were making any sounds at all. She scratches the back of her hand and accepts the fact the noise really wasn’t coming from this room.

Peridot turns around in circles, she leaves a message to the NASA night crew that there was a possible technical issue on the ISS. Two days before any crew was set to land, Peridot groaned, and just her.

She takes deep breaths and pushes herself off toward what she could only assume was the source.

Ssssshhhh

She cringes as she crosses the ‘unity’ room into the Russian side of the station, empty as a ghost town and twice as unnerving. But Peridot doesn’t believe in ghosts.

Ssssshh-he-sssshh--ll-ssh-o

“Ah!” She clutches at her own heart as something, a voice something, echoes off the halls. She takes a rasping breath and turns in every which direction.

Ssh, hello?  It comes again.

Peridot’s mouth hangs open, she finds herself outside of a room that had been used as the old communication hub, back when they had separate ones instead of a ‘bubble of trust.’

Peridot cocks her head to the side, one of the radios attached to the wall and ingrained in the system was making a soft but distinct buzz. Most of the old pre-2025 devices had been removed or repurposed but this one felt like she was reaching backward in time.

Peridot looked at it, she should go report this. Houston would want to know one of the 2000 models was acting up.

Shhh-h--ssss

Peridot reaches forward, her fingering hovering in midair and her eyes glued to the intercom, there was definitely something bubbling underneath the static.

And of course, she did believe in aliens.

Peridot presses down on the feedback button and wets her lips, she leans down into the speaker, “Is someone there?” Peridot holds her breath, watching the blinking red light of the transmitter in the dark center of the room. It had been repurposed several years ago to be another storage and business room.

She blinks and waits a minute, suddenly feeling a little silly, she should really be sleeping right now. Or reporting it. She watches the blinking red light and counts.

Sixty seconds, 180 seconds, three minutes, Peridot is about to take her finger off the feedback button when something comes back in a clear audible articulation.

“Oh thank God,” Peridot’s mouth fell open, it was a woman, she leans back down to reply, but the voice kept going, “Can you hear me? Is someone there? I am Lapis Lazuli of the Argus, Landing Mission One, ESA. Can you hear me?” Peridot gasped, “Oh my god-” Lapis talked quickly, “We have been pushed out off route and...Can anyone hear me?” “Yes!” Peridot returned as soon as she got ahold of her voice, perhaps yelling into the speaker a little too loudly, “We thought, I, are you safe? We thought the Argus was lost, what’s your status?” Peridot did the math in her head, it would take four to five minutes for radio waves to transmit between Earth’s orbit and the Argus. The Jupiter moon’s mission.

“I can’t see our location, but I think I am stranded near the atmosphere of Jupiter, repeat I can see the troposphere...I don’t know where I am.” “Lapis,” Peridot spoke into the speaker, hoping they could balance out their conversation, “I am Peridot of the International Space Station, NASA, I can hear you loud and clear. What’s your status?” She waits. Counting, sixty seconds, two minutes, three minutes, God, she needed to tell someone about this. But she hears the sharp intake of breath on the other end.

“ISS?” Peridot exhales as the woman responds, “Thank God, okay, this is Lapis Lazuli, reporting again from the Argus. The...the life support system is sustaining it looks like but none of the ram’s are responding, I think we’re disconnected from the rockets.”

“Lapis,” Peridot hunched over, “What is the status of the crew? How much oxygen do you have left? What...what happened?” She remembered reading about the Argus a week ago. About the radio silence on the other end of one of the most ambitious human-manned missions into their solar system.

One minute. Two minutes. Three. Four.

“I,” She heard the other astronaut falter, “I have the full amount of oxygen left that we had carried with us for the return journey.” She paused a hitch of static filled the air, “The crew is incapacitated.” The voice says emotionlessly, “We were hit with an unexpected projectile and pulled into Jupiter’s orbit, we didn’t calculate the full effect of the mass of planet on our ship it seems,” She chuckled, one of the most surprising sounds Peridot had ever heard, “I guess we are still making scientific discoveries.”

“Do you have your satellite? Where is your telecom? We can-” The delay continued to confuse their conversation, “It’s acting like a black hole, we tried to fix the rockets to propel us back to Io but there wasn’t enough power, everyone else,” The young women took a deep breath, “They tried to get back to Io without the ship. Some of our jets were still working for the suits.” “Oh my God,” Peridot whispered.

“It didn’t work.” Peridot waited, making sure Lapis was finished and the full four to five minutes passed so Lapis could get Peridot’s message.

She heard another laugh on the other side, “We really need a better system than this. How about we say over when we’re done talking?” Peridot’s shoulder’s tensed, she sounded so young. “Anyway, to answer your question, our telecom was damaged when the projectile thrust us off course, I just recently jerry-rigged this device in order to be picked up on low frequencies.” Peridot nodded, Lapis took an audible breath, “Over.”

Peridot leaned her head up against the cool metal of the side panelings, she clears her throat, “Lapis,” she said quietly, “Do you need me to contact anyone?” It had taken that crew six years to get to Jupiter’s moons. “Over.” Peridot squeezed her eyes shut.

She heard the next notes like a deflating balloon, “So you’ve figured it out too?” She said back with a controlled tremor to her voice, “Well… I have a few people I would like to message if you could write it down.” Peridot found a pen and paper and wrote down the women’s mother’s name, her college professor’s email, and her ex-lover’s phone number.

“Do you want me too,” Peridot cringed, “uh, write down messages for them? For me to say to them. Over.” She waited, she heard a sigh when the four minutes passed, “Just tell my mom I love her. That sort of thing. Tell the professor I wouldn’t be here without her, I mean, not here, in space, in a bad way, shit, actually don’t tell her that. Tell her her intro classes are still making freshman wet themselves and I love it.” Peridot laughed.

“And the last one?” Peridot asks as she waits for Lapis to come back to her.

Lapis gave a snort, “Flip her off for me. Maybe subtly infer she’s been skipping arm day and is looking a little noodly. That would make my night. Over.” Peridot laughs and it’s hard for her to take this all in, she should be writing it down. “You know,” Thoughts ran through Peridot’s head, “Are the rockets really not working? Because a simple continued jerry-rig of the thrusters back to the navigation might, hmm, help.”

The response takes longer than usual, “Don’t do this me.” Comes the hushed reply, “I’ve tried, Peridot, don’t you think I’ve tried? Whoever you are from wherever. Don’t do it.” “Peridot Farid.” She returns slowly, blinking into the dark. “I’m from Minneapolis.”

Lapis hummed, “Oh...I’m from Belgium. Ghent. Nice to meet you.” Peridot’s insides felt like they were turning all over the place, “I’ve been to Belgium, it’s very beautiful.” “Not underwater yet?” The other girl joked, slightly off time due to the time lapse.

“They’re trying their best,” Peridot says with a sniff, “And they never invented a statute called ‘the Twinkie Law,’ so they did better than my city.” She heard a strange groan from the other end of the line which made Peridot sat up straight, “I would honestly give anything right now for a twinkie. Anything.” Peridot ends up laughing, “Alright, top ten food goos and then worst goos, go.”

Lapis made a choking sound, “Nooo, Peridot Farid, all I want right now is some ripe cherries, a medium rare steak, fuck it, a rare steak, and ten twinkie’s, one for every finger. No goo.” Peridot was snickering, “Well I want a nice hamburger and maybe a salad with ranch dressing. Kleenexes. Running water.” She smiles to herself, “And a proper toilet.” The silver sound of a laugh comes back from the other end, “Wrong answer! The whole reason I went to space was for suction toilets.”

“Oh come. on”

“What we all really need is at least one beer each.” Peridot snorts, Lapis bemoans, “A margarita, two loggers, some vodka, good vodka, the kind the Russians would give to their moms.” Lapis lamented and Peridot shook her head.

“Why did you go to space then?” She asks fondly at the other end, “It’s the last dry county in humanities jurisdiction Dutch girl.”

Lapis laughed on the other end, “We’re getting personal now? Well, you first, why are you in space hurtling above the earth developing poor bone mass?” Peridot let herself float up a little higher, using the next minute to think about her answer, she leans toward the speaker, “Height.” The five minutes pass and all that comes back is a confused, “What?” “I gain two and a half inches every time I come up here. Eventually, I figure I’ll hit five feet.”

A loud guffaw comes back, “Taller! Of course, but what is that in human measurements?” Peridot rolled her eyes, “Old habits. 6.35 centimeters and 1.524 meters, happy?”

“Woof,” Lapis says back cheerily, “They really do bring them in smaller each year. Over.”

Peridot exhaled dramatically, “Back to you then Miss Lapis. How tall are you? I don’t know, what’s your favorite, hmm, tea?” Two minutes, three, four.

“Tea? Boring. You know how close Jupiter’s atmosphere is to me right now? Ask me about my childhood nightmares and favorite sex position.” Peridot opened her mouth to respond with a dismissive sniff, but Lapis adds quietly at the end, “...it’s mint by the way. Mountain mint.” Peridot smiled and her eyes bunched up into themselves, “Well, my childhood nightmare was santa having claws and strangling me.” Peridot says good-humoredly as she drums her fingers on her leg.

“Is that your favorite position as well?” “Lapis,” She says warningly, Peridot considers turning around, the next five minutes left her contemplating if it was a crank call. Houston did have some annoying interns.

“Strangling is perfectly natural, no need to be ashamed. I did it to my barbie dolls and everything.” Peridot rolls her eyes, “They really do send them up crazier each year.” Lapis laughs, it’s a strained laugh and Peridot purses her lips, “Peridot?” Lapis says, barely audible over the static this time. “Yeah?” She waits.

“Can you see earth?” Peridot’s shoulder’s slump over, she nods before taking her finger off the feedback button and floating back over to the observatory. Two hours had passed.

She looks out over a deep brown storm cloud over China and the darkness of the earth side of the sun, she goes back to the transmitter, “We’re over the Bahama’s. It’s blue right now, very, very blue.”

She hears the softest of sounds over the radio, “My haul is made of titanium.” Lapis says carefully, “But I’m not sure if the radio waves will be disturbed by the planet’s magnetic field.” “Oh.” Peridot says back, squeezing her eyes shut, knowing Lapis was still talking.

“And then the radiation will begin anyway,” Lapis made something that was almost a laugh, “remember those numbers okay? Tell my mom. You know. Tell my teacher I wasn’t going to make it without her, but not in this way. And tell Jasper to, you know, fuck off.” “Wait,” Peridot says breathlessly.

“I’m about to be sucked into the atmosphere, wait a little for me, k? We can see if this mess of a radio might hold up. Just wait a little. Then go tell the world I went out fighting a space octopus, tell them there are definitely space octopuses and the Argus went down swinging.” “Okay,” Peridot rasps, holding the button down until the tip of her finger bleached. “Okay!” She racks her brain for what to say, what eulogy’s people ended with or last lasting sentiments that maybe meant something, “I’ll eat some twinkies for you. Ten. One for each finger.”

Peridot waited. Two minutes. Three minutes. Five. Peridot was shaking, this isn’t what she expected when she woke up this morning, they orbited into the sun side of the planet. What was she even going to tell Houston? How do you start that report?

Peridot rubbed her stinging eyes, “I’ll put them on my fingers too. Eat them in some Dutch coffee shop and kick your ex in the shins.” She pushed at her palm into her sockets, “Oh God, oh my God.” Her legs felt numb, she took her finger off the button. She was still glad she didn’t believe in ghosts, she didn’t need this one.

She turned back to exit the room and float to somewhere far away and cold and curl up for a little bit.

Shhh--What’s up loser?!”

Peridot jumped and turned around instantaneously, “Lapis?!”

“Can you hear me? I can’t see out my window right now, but the magnetism might not be messing with my radio as much as I thought. More discoveries for science, yay, have them name a cockroach after me or something. Unless, of course, you can’t hear me and this is just, you know, the death chasm I’m speaking into-” “I can hear you!” Peridot yelled as her finger jammed into the switch, the red light flaring like a fog horn. “I can hear you, it’s still working!” She didn’t know why she was excited, this girl was entering into one of the most radioactive places in the solar system, Peridot kept her eyes on the speaker.

“You waited after all.”

Peridot bit her lip, “Yeah. I waited.”

The four minutes felt excruciating, “I figure I have around forty-five minutes... Anyway, if you’re curious, it is incredibly hot. If I didn’t have any decency left I would be naked.” Peridot sniffs, “No one can see you you know. And I imagine it’s burning up.” The next transmission was garbled, but she could still make it out, “Dying in the void of space is one thing, dying in the void of space butt-naked is another.”

Peridot couldn’t get herself to laugh this time, she tried, “Well, I’ll tell everyone you were wearing a full suit of armor. Pearls. The octopus didn’t have a chance.” Lapis made a soft sound, “That’s really all I ask, heels too, I miss heels. I felt tall, like one of those small dogs on top of tables? Or the fact you enjoy getting 5 centimeters taller in space?”

Peridot made an exasperated noise, “I don’t suppose you mock all the people you share last words with.” Lapis gave a chuckle, “Just you darling.” A long pause follows, Peridot doesn’t move to fill it, Lapis took her time with another slow breath, “Tell me about something.” Peridot blinked, “I have a collection of coins from the Ottoman empire.” “Okay,” Lapis sounded faint, “Who was your first crush? Besides like 16th-century Sultans or something I mean. What was your first book? What was your favorite kiss? Come on,” Lapis snickered, “I’m dying here.”

Peridot’s skin felt too tight, itching in the dark, “Martina Rodriquez. Fifth grade, she punched me in the face once after I told her to leave my school. I learned to read when I was three so I don’t really remember the books, accelerated learning and all. I learned to speak in full sentences when I was six. My first kiss was,” Peridot sighs, “Don’t laugh okay? In my college’s chemistry lab, age 23.” She says all of it quickly, fast, time was measured in fours and fives.

A laugh came back from the other side of the universe anyway, “Chemistry lab? God, you’re the one giving astronauts a nerdy name.”

“Hey!”

“And it’s cute. You sound cute. I’m sure you’re very smart too, can probably name way too many numbers of pi.” She could, “I guess I was like that too…Why I’m up here.” Lapis trailed off.

“Why you’re up here?” Seven minutes.

“I saw Cassiopeia one night... my grandpa told me they hung her upside down in the night sky to punish her. I fell in love,” Peridot clenched her jaw, “I guess you could say that’s how it happened. Love or whatever.” “Lapis-” Peridot put her face next to the speaker.

“You know, I always thought this is what I wanted to do.” Lapis was faltering, “And it is.” She repeats, “I think it was always what I wanted to do.” They came a pause and Peridot hears a strangled retching noise on the other side.

“Lapis!” She yells into the intercom, “Lapis, are alright?”

It took a very long time before she got a response, she was back to waiting, “Yeah,” A voice finally said hoarsely, “Just...puking. You know, when you get to see food goo all over again? That feeling.” Lapis sounded like she was trying to laugh, “Peridot?” “Yeah?”

“Who was this first kiss?” Lapis asked quietly before sniffing, “Was she cuter than me? I hope not...And, then, what’s, what’s your favorite tea?” Peridot squeezed her free hand closed, balling it up into a painful fist, “No. She was a Ph.D. student and thought that Potato Poots was a good pet name. She…” Peridot snorted, “Wasn’t cuter than you, promise. My, my, favorite tea is Black tea. I used to drink it with my aunts.” Two minutes. Three minutes. Six.

“Potato Poots? Take that back, that is a wonderful pet name and now I’m going to date this girl that was your first kiss,” Peridot chuckled, “Black tea is a good choice. The closest one to coffee. My brother owns a coffee shop,” Lapis was talking quickly now, “Visit him too. Tell him...I’m sorry. I’m sorry we fought so much, God, for everything.” “Yes, yes, I mean-” “Tell all of them I loved them. Dammit, even Jasper, tell her to get her shit together. None of this...none of anything else. Nothing else matters.” Peridot sighs and her entire body is shaking, “I can do that, yes. Lapis, we won’t forget.”

“That I died naked in the void of space?” Lapis returned back after seven minutes, “Because that’s a thing now.”

“Naked, fighting an octopus, right?” Peridot says with her face straining into a smile.

“Yeah.” Lapis was constantly panting on the other end now, but her voice came through. “Who was your first love Peridot?”

Peridot felt her mouth go dry, she hadn’t drank anything in hours. Houston would be furious. “I’ve never been in love.” She whispered back, “I just wanted to do...this.” She flinches at the wording.

Lapis took eight minutes to respond, “Yeah?” She said breathlessly, “Well. Do that for me, k? Being in love is nice. It’s like this, except no one is riding into the next layer of Jupiter’s helium.”

Peridot gave a weak smile, “It’s like this?” “It’s like this.” Wheezing, “Go do that for me.”

“How’re you feeling?” Peridot tried to get her to keep talking, Lapis told her that she threw up again. Peridot could hear her audible breathing through the speaker, she was gasping.

“We weren’t really over the Bahama’s were we?” Peridot frowns, she looks out toward where the window would be, “It was dark out., yeah. But the cities are bright. Like stars, we always liked stars, right? People like us.” “People like us collect Ottoman coins and cover their hands in twinkie’s Peridot.” She smiled, “Good. I hear that’s what being in love is like.” Lapis coughed, a deep gurgling sound that filled the air, “Sounds dumb.” “It is.”

Peridot could hear her fading out, “Lapis? Lapis how’re you-”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” A sob responds. “Lapis.” “FUCK, I don’t want to die.” “Wait, wait, no, it’s going to be okay.” “Quick, tell me something nice to say, something good, God, GOD, I wish I had been good.” “Lapis! Lapis, wait, not yet,”

“Peridot,” She could hear the crying now, the silver wet tremor in her voice, “Peridot I can’t see anything. It’s so hot, oh my god, I can’t do this, PERIDOT-” Peridot screams back into the mike, “I’m here! I’m here! Lapis, wait!”

No sound comes back from the other side, Peridot’s eyes go wide, she counts back up to a thousand. She can’t feel her teeth.

“One thousand and five, one thousand and four, Lapis? Lapis can you hear me?” Five minutes. Ten minutes.

Peridot curled up into herself and pulled on her hair, her finger still on the transmission button, the room bathed in the one red light, “Lapis, LAPIS.” It was a wretched, animalistic scream, but it wasn’t for the radio, it wasn’t for her.

She wished she believed in ghosts.

----

Peridot went back to earth within the fortnight. She told them she wasn't feeling well. She told them about the Argus. They told her to take some time off, she told them she wasn't coming back.

Peridot went to Belguim, she gave a very nice older woman a hug, she got a lifetime's promise of free coffee, and she looked at painting after painting of people who were dead. She smiled at the nice girl across the street, she didn't say hi, but she did wave this time. As a place to start, Lapis wanted something like that.

[that-quiet-girl-who-writes]

Broken~Part 10 (Jughead Jones)

 A/N: I told everyone that I’m doing science homework sssshhhhhhh. Also I was listening to a bunch of songs by Death Cab For Cutie while I was writing this, which is a band I just discovered and LOVE. Gif’s not mine.

Summary: End of the first day of school (I’m not even trying to write good summaries anymore, I’m sorry)

Pairing: Jughead x Andrews!reader

Word Count: 928

Warnings: Swearing 

Taglist:

@latenightbooknerd

Masterlist

“Right, see you later.” he said, turning around and disappearing into the crowded hallway. When I looked up at Betty, she seemed suspicious, but didn’t say anything and I never told people things unless they asked very specific questions.

Our next class was cut short for an assembly. Cheryl Blossom stood at the podium, dressed in all lacy black, like she was at an actual funeral and not a small memorial at her high school. She looked around the room with a sad look on her face, speaking of her beloved brother, while I sat back on the same bleachers Jughead and I had been on, except this time, I was with Archie.

I looked over and saw Archie exchange glances with his music teacher, Miss Grundy. I couldn’t help but get a little angry as they both looked away from each other quickly. This woman had some sort of hold on my brother and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Archie hadn’t told me exactly what was going on with them, but I had the idea that they were probably fucking. It was illegal, yes, but I wasn’t going to do anything unless I knew Archie was in some sort of immediate danger.

I was jerked out of thoughts when I heard applause and cheering from the students around me. I could just make out what Cheryl was saying through all the celebrating.

“...but rather, let us use it as a way to heal, collectively, and celebrate my brother’s too, too short life on this mortal coil.”

I looked around the stands to see Jughead way in the back. I wanted nothing more in that moment to go and sit with him. To get away from the noise and the people. To let him wrap his arms around me, like he had done almost every night this summer. I wanted it to be just him and me, in my bed at home, where I could touch him and not have to worry that anyone was judging me or making sure I was okay. I wasn’t okay. But with Jughead, it seemed like I could be.

As soon as school was over, Archie was at my locker, asking what I was doing that night. As I told him I was going to Pop’s, I looked around the hallway. I wasn’t one for a lot of eye contact and Archie knew that so he didn’t bother trying to see what I was looking at. As I scanned the crowd, I caught the eye of a certain writer who was at his locker, further down the hall. He smiled at me and I smiled back.

“What?” I heard Archie ask. I turned my attention back to him.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?” I just shrugged my shoulders and told him that I had to go.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Pop’s. I already told you.”

“With who?”

“Why do I have to go with someone?”

“You know why.”

“There are plenty of people at Pop’s, Archie. Someone will notice if I walk off. Pop knows not to let me start walking away without anyone with me. I’ll be fine. If you’re worried about me, than drop me off and I’ll call you when I’m ready to come home ‘cause I know you probably don’t want me to walk home alone either. Okay?”

“... fine. Are you sure you don’t want any company?”

“No. I need to be alone for a bit. Besides, I’m sure you have something better to do. What with football and music and… certain classes… certain teachers.”

“Y/N, don’t bring this up here.”

“I won’t. I didn’t mean to, I just was talking and it popped into head.” I said. He looked at me, worried.

“Arch, don’t worry. It’s a secret and I’m not willing to give it up without a good reason, okay? You can trust me. You know that.”

“I know… it’s just got me paranoid.”

“Okay. C’mon, let’s go to Pop’s.”

We walked to Pop’s and Archie left me in a booth with a milkshake and fries. As soon as he left, I stood up, taking my food and walking to the booth in the back of the diner and sitting down across from the same writer who had caught my eye in the hallway just half an hour ago. I swung my legs up onto the table and began to eat, as Jughead typed on his laptop. I assumed he was near the end of a thought or something because he typed for a minute more before looking up.

“Hey.” he said, leaning across the table to eat some of my fries. “So, how was your first day back in hell?”

I smiled, “Awful, how about yours?”

“I avoided human contact for most of the day, so it wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be. You’re the only person I talked to other than the teachers.”

“I wish, I could say the same.”

He smiled at me. A real smile. A smile that I rarely saw out in public. That I only saw late at night, when neither of us could sleep but we were okay with that because we got to enjoy the little bit of time we had together before the sun came up. I had learned to hate the sunrise this summer. It meant that Juggie was leaving. It meant coldness from the disappearance of his body in my bed. It meant i was alone again. No more beams of light from the flashlight on my bedside table swirling across the walls of my room. No more little jokes and muffled laughter. No more sweet short kisses (or loving long ones). It just meant no more Juggie.