#'oh i'll just write a short little scene of jyn going to see cass in the hospital'

[andorerso]

Rebelcaptain Trees for @rebelrainfall​: Firefighters AU (with bonus secret relationship and protective Jyn)

“I don’t care,” Jyn’s voice rang out loudly in the room as she tried to wave off Bodhi’s attempts to keep her lying in that goddamn hospital bed, “I want to see him!”

“The doctor told you to stay put — hey.” With lightning-fast reflexes, he caught her just as her legs began to wobble, then gave her a pointed look that said “See?”

“Then get me a goddamn wheelchair,” she growled through gritted teeth but allowed Bodhi to help her back to bed. Normally, she wouldn’t have caved so easily. But maybe he had a point… She hadn’t expected her legs to feel so wobbly or the room to start swimming when she stood up, and she wasn’t sure she could make it to Cassian’s room.

But she needed to see him.

Needed to know he was okay.

Or maybe he wasn’t. Bodhi said he had two surgeries while she was unconscious and he hadn’t woken up yet, but not much else. She was afraid of how much he was holding back in order to spare her while she was still in recovery as well. If anything was seriously wrong, he’d tell her, right?

“Jyn, you really should rest. I know you two are close, but —”

“No, you don’t!” she snapped, forgetting herself for a second. Of course he didn’t know. He couldn’t have, because they never told anybody.

There were reasons for that, once, but she was struggling to recall them now.

It was just so easy at first. They sneaked behind their friends’ backs like teenagers, making out in the alleyway behind the bar on drinking nights or holding hands under the table while everyone was preoccupied. There was some kind of thrill in the secrecy, in catching Cassian’s eyes across the table and seeing them sparkle with the same excitement, in knowing this belonged only to them and no one else. A room full of people, and they were all oblivious to the truth. Their little secret.

But they never committed, not really. They didn’t want to upset the team dynamic, they said. Didn’t want to be serious with someone who risked their lives on a weekly basis just as much as themselves. It was just some good fun. Or it was supposed to be.

But somewhere along the way, she’d fallen. Hard. And she never realized it, not until he pushed her out of the way of that falling beam in that crumbling house eaten by fire and told her to go. It hadn’t fallen on him, thankfully, but it had obstructed the only way downstairs and out of the building, and as Jyn looked at him, she knew they both had the same thought. He wasn’t leaving.

The crying child in her arms was the only thing that gave her strength to turn around and leave him there. Still, she promised him, “I’m coming back.”

But as soon as the little girl was safe outside, her vision went blurry and her knees buckled. She’d inhaled too much smoke. She’d wanted to get up, to go back, but darkness swallowed her instead.

When she woke up in the hospital, she thought he was dead, and for a shamefully long second, she wished she hadn’t woken up at all. But the floorboard on the second floor gave away, and Cassian fell through, landing in the living room and allowing the rest of the team to extract him in time. Bodhi said it fucked up his back, which was why he needed surgery, but it also very likely saved his life.

And she needed to see that with her own two eyes. Living and breathing. She needed to replace the last memory she had of him; standing on the other end of that beam, reserved to his fate but apologetic and his face behind his helmet shining with a thousand things he never said to her. Not aloud.

She needed to hear him say those things, and she needed to say them back.

Realization dawning on Bodhi, his eyes went wide. “You two are…?”

Jyn let out a small groan, taking deep breaths to try and slow her racing heart. There was no point in denying the truth; she wasn’t sure she wanted to anyway. Sneaking around was fun at first, but she wanted more than that now. She wanted the real deal. And the thought of letting Cassian go through his recovery alone while she pretended there was nothing between them made her sick. Nothing was worth abandoning him again.

“Please just…” She raised her gaze to Bodhi, pleading with him. “I need to see him.”

xxx

The rest of their team had congregated at Cassian’s bedside when Bodhi wheeled her into the room. Faces immediately turned in her direction, questions and well wishes on everyone’s lips, but Jyn only had eyes for Cassian. He was still unconscious, but his chest rose and fell with steady breaths, and her eyes welled up at the sight. Bodhi parked her next to his bed, close enough that she could reach out and graze her fingers along Cassian’s stubble.

Which she did. So what if everyone was watching? The truth was already out now that Bodhi knew.

Her hand still gently caressing his cheek, Jyn closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, willing the tears away. That suffocating weight on her chest began to ease a bit.

“Is he going to wake up?” she asked, turning to face the rest of their team watching her in silence. No one commented on the slight quiver in her voice, or the way her hand was now clutching Cassian’s hospital gown like a lifeline, but she could see the realization written on their faces. And she felt nothing but relief to have it out in the open.

“Doctor said he should wake up soon,” Melshi confirmed, his tone reassuring. “He might not be able to stay on the squad with his back but —”

“I don’t care about that,” Jyn cut him off, turning back to stare at Cassian again. None of it mattered as long as he was safe. “I just want him to wake up.”

She curled her hand around his, lacing their fingers together. She’d wait by his side until he did. And then she’d tell him how she felt and kiss him. And make sure he never got into so much trouble again.

Lifting their hands, she pressed her lips to his palm and whispered against his skin, “Come back to me.”

Cassian’s fingers twitched under hers, and her gaze flew up to see his eyelids fluttering with movement. The breath whooshed out of her in a shuddering gasp, and a couple of tears escaped her anyway as she squeezed his hand to let him know she was here.

She wouldn’t be leaving him again.