#'nobody gives a shit' is a recurring tool that will help us later!!

[kymal]

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 07 part two

(Masterpost)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Lantern Lighting

Now we have the famous lantern scene, where everybody gets to express their character and have dates, ranging from disastrous to delightful, with the objects of their affection. 

Wei Wuxian continues to be ridiculously good at drawing. 

We’ve all seen Lan Wangji’s lovely first smile in the show a million times, so...let’s look at it again!

This scene is important not just because of the smile, but because there’s a distinct shift in the way they talk about their growing relationship. In the pond, it was “come visit me” and “never!” “I want to be your friend” “No need.” Basically Lan Wangji firmly saying no to Wei Wuxian’s offers of friendship.

This time, Wei Wuxian says “let’s do this together” and Lan Wangji says “I’m used to being alone,” which is not actually a No, just an explanation. And WWX says, you can change that. And then Lan Wangji DOES change it, sharing the lantern and the promise with Wei Wuxian.

Whoever painted this flower is even better than Wei Wuxian at plein air painting. 

(more after the cut!)

Everybody’s wishes

Nie Huasang makes a practical wish. Wen Qing prays for her brother and Jiang Cheng notices how she’s like Yanli. Jiang Cheng isn’t very intense about Wen Qing, which could be a sign of his shyness but could also be a sign of his gayness or aceness. After all, later in life he’s an apparently wealthy clan leader who is hot as fuck, and needs an heir, since his nephew is a Jin. But he’s still not married, 16 years after breaking up with and uh, helping to kill and cremate, the girl he liked in summer school.

The Promise We Made Together

Wei Wuxian makes an ultra-idealistic wish/promise while Lan Wangji watches and falls the rest of the way in love with him, and silently makes the same pledge inside his head. Later they will each refer to this as a promise they made together, which is a really super high level of face-reading by Wei Wuxian, to understand that he really is speaking for both of them here.  While making this promise, Lan Wangji brings out his Yin Iron Magic Bag and waves it around in front of everyone, but nobody notices. 

Let’s take a moment to consider *why* this moment is so powerful for Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is a boy whose emotions are always on the boil. He’s 100% upset all the time, at this age, and he keeps it clamped down all the time. His cultivation level is probably as high as it is partly because of all the work he does in emotion regulation. (note: if you haven’t read all the meta at @howpeacefulislwj​ , go read it; it’s awesome and hilarious)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t GAF about emotion regulation; he just expresses what he feels, all the damn time. 

He is openly bored, lusty, playful, hungry, whiny. He straight up tells Lan Wangji “you’re boring and you have a stick up your ass” as part of saying he wants to be friends; no deference and also no falseness.  

And he can see right through Lan Wangji’s reserve, barging into his loneliness and isolation without any regard for all of his wards. Wards are made to be broken.

(Unrelated note: Young Lan Wangji's rare moments of contentment seem to come from looking at something beautiful--the moon, falling petals, these lanterns, his mirror.)

But Wei Wuxian is also good. Lan Wangji desperately wants to be good. And here’s Wei Wuxian embodying this awful, amazing, tempting alternative path, in which all the interesting things in life get explored thoroughly, all the sweetness and beauty gets consumed unreservedly, all the pain and ugliness gets confronted and endured without hesitation. 

In this moment, Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji “you can change,” and then offers up this prayer/promise that is just pure chivarly, speaking straight to Lan Wangji’s heart. Very simply, I want to spend my life doing right. Not 3500 rules; just one.

This infuriating boy, who breaks rules and who flirts indiscriminately and who pushes and pushes and pushes, reveals himself in this moment to be a hero at the beginning of his journey, and Lan Wangji sees it, and his heart goes right over the cliff.

The Girls’ Room

The girl cultivators all rush over to Yanli to get in her business about her betrothal, inspiring Jin Zixuan to act like a jerk to her and get even further onto Wei Wuxian’s bad side. 

Talk Shit, Get Hit

Yanli’s wish was that Wei Wuxian would grow up and be good. He promptly launches his own personal Sunshot campaign, punching her fiancee so hard that the sun falls out of the sky and the previously well-lit scene transitions to full night.

So, in English, “don’t mention it again” is really mild, akin to “I don’t want to talk about it.” Wei Wuxian’s reaction makes it seem like Jin Zixuan said something really shitty, like “don’t you dare mention that woman to me!” So I’m assuming something is being lost in translation. 

Lan Wangji tries to calm him down. He grabs Wei Wuxian’s sexy arm muscle and basically holds it until the Jiangs exit the scene. 

Nie Huaisang has placed himself between the opposing factions, which is unusually direct of him. In the future he’ll stick to being an unindicted co-conspirator when Wei Wuxian starts trouble. 

Ants in my Pants

Lan Wangji thinks kneeling can make Wei Wuxian cry, which is adorable of him. 

He really relishes this opportunity to be a pedantic tool to his new boyfriend that annoying boy he hardly ever touches, and it really doesn’t work out for him, poor lamb.

Jiang Fengmian stops by to show exactly how deep his affection for Wei Wuxian runs, and to give him whiplash from constantly changing parental expectations. In a couple of hours he’ll be laughing over WWX & JC’s hijinks.

Wei Wuxian takes this opportunity to fantasize about bad things happening to the other boy in the fight, which is in no way foreshadowing of anything.

Douche Dads Conference

We now convene this meeting of the douchebag council. Jiang Cheng is also invited even though he’s a prick, not a douche. <--important distinction

This is our first time meeting Clan Leader Jin Guangshan. He's actually the most sensible and best parent in this scene, but his smug self-satisfaction hints at his true nature. This actor, Shen Xiaohai, has been active in cdramas for a long while now. I wonder what he looked like 15 years ago?

...Holy mother of god.

Jiang Fengmian is the worst dad and the worst husband here. His clan believes in letting children do what they want - uhh YOUR child wants to marry Jin Zixuan. “I wrote a letter to her mother, who arranged this marriage.” Uhhh she arranged for her sickly, low-cultivation-level, sweet and vulnerable child to marry the heir of a rich and powerful clan, with a powerful mother-in-law who’s looking forward to loving and protecting her. Basically she’s guaranteed her daughter’s safety and comfort, and even potential happiness, since her husband may learn to appreciate her (and in fact, does, thanks to soup and repeated beatings from WWX).

Mom worked hard and probably spent a fair amount of social capital to achieve this. And you’re going to toss that aside because the boy thinks he’s too good for her? What the everloving fuck, how are you a clan leader in the first place? 

You can see that Jiang Cheng understands all of this and what a terrible choice his father is making here. 

So do the other adults in the room.

Jin Guangshen: our wives are going to kill us

Lan Qiren: I'm looking at a couple of dead men

Jiang Fengmian pointedly won’t listen to Jiang Cheng or let him speak, showing that all his talk about being free is actually bullshit, that only applies to other people’s children.

Jiang Chang vaults off of the deck to tell Wei Wuxian about it. Hottt

Sorry Sis

Wei Wuxian goes to Jiang Yanli to sorta-apologize and sorta ask to be let off the hook for fucking up her engagement, which he absolutely did. He knows it, which is presumably why he bows to her in paperman form while hiding outside.

At no time has Jiang Yanli indicated to anyone that she doesn’t want to marry Jin Zixuan, as far as I can see, or said she wanted to be defended from insults with punching. Look how good SHE is at defending a person from insults, for comparison.

Yin Iron Blah Blah Blah

The senior Lans meet with Jiang Fengmian  to talk about the Yawn Yin Iron. Yawn. 

Jiang Fengmian addresses Lan Xichen as Lan Gongzi, which is adorable, since he is a big boy to everyone else. His family calls him Xichen and other people call him Zewu-Jun.

Farewell and Fuck You

The three Jiang kids come to say goodbye.

Lan Quiren says goodbye with a heap of criticism for Wei Wuxian and the horse he rode in on, and Jiang Fengmian basically says, yep, that’s what he’s like, all right.  

Good thing Wei Ying gets so much verbal abuse at home he doesn’t take it very hard when he finds it in the field. 

Wangji doesn’t say goodbye properly, which will be a recurring theme for the two of them.

I don’t know if this is because he has a problem with goodbyes, or is just being a jerk, or because he’s so bad at lying he doesn’t dare talk to Wei Wuxian lest he reveal his travel plans. 

Indulgent Dad Continues to be the Worst

Jiang Cheng complains at Wei Wuxian for wanting to say goodbye to Lan Wangji, and WWX says he likes him because he is equal to WWX in fighting, whereas JC sucks. JC hits him tries to hit him--gosh, he DOES suck, comparatively. 

Yanli, who has been keeping these boys in line all summer, sighs deeply at her Dad’s tolerance for their hijinks. OP has five brothers and this sibling-hijinks behavior is 100% accurate, except for the part where it is happening at someone else’s house in front of the hosts. 

WWX pretending to be Lan Qiren where Lan Wangji can see him doing it, in front of Lan Qiren’s colleague and supposed friend, and just earning a laugh from the patriarch? Good lord.  Dad Jiang tolerating this is shocking, particularly in the in-show culture where corporal punishment is as common as tea. 

We’ve tried Nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!

Uggghh why are you like this?

Here in the real world, OP uses “positive discipline” with her child, and encourages other parents to consider it, particularly if your child is neuroatypical or asynchronous.  That said, JF should be punishing the crap out of both boys for this behavior every time it happens, or should quit being a clan leader.  He’s relying on Jiang Yanli to keep them in line while he gets to just be amused by them. And he’s letting Lan Qiren discipline Wei Wuxian instead of doing it himself. He suuuuuuucks. 

Lan Wangji watches all of this. Lan Xichen reminds Lan Wangji that without Wei Wuxian, he’s completely fucking miserable. Lan Wangji still doesn’t plan to bring him along on his trip, though.

Time to return to our lives of crushing loneliness

Rabbits

At this same moment when Lan Wangji is staring down the barrel of future loneliness, Wei Wuxian is already deciding to leave the (forbidden) rabbits in Cloud Recesses “In case Lan Zhan gets lonely.”  This small decision by Wei Wuxian - breaking the rules of Cloud Recesses for the millionth time - is kinder than he knows. Because what is the job of these rabbits? Let’s have a desaturated flashback. 

Lan Zhan spent 3 years in the ice cave. The rabbits kept Lan Yi company in the ice cave. So...did the rabbits sneak in to keep Lan Wangji company in the ice cave as well? I’m going to say yes. By ep 43 they are following him to the gate of Cloud Recesses so they are very attached to him.  Well done, Wei Ying.

Where my bitches at? Seriously, our warren needs bitches

(Is Watership Down still a thing people read? If not, just go ahead and assume all of OP’s rabbit jokes are about Watership Down because OP ain’t going to stop making them)

While Wei Wuxian annoys the bunny he has a flashback to the scene that happened 4 minutes earlier. The Untamed editors assume the viewership has the attention span of a goldfish, and I personally appreciate that they understand me so well.

Wei Wuxian figures out that Lan Wangji is going on the road alone, and tells the bunny immediately. The bunny is very concerned.

Writing Prompt: What do next-generation cultivators Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi wish for at lantern-lighting time?

[ecotone99]

[RF] Deterioration

I don’t know how I ended up like this, lying here still as a lifeless statue, unable to express myself to those around me. I can’t remember what happened, or when, I just know something did. I've lost any concept of time and my mind has become devoid of hope. Why can't they fix me? Why don’t they try? I can only look helplessly at friends as they cry for me, the tears like daggers in my already unhealable wound. I cry with them. They leave.

People come and go on a daily basis like clock work, 2pm every day until 5. And as the gears of the clock turn them away, I look at the hands that push them, they reach for nothing, forever chasing the endless loop. They wish to slow down, they want time to be longer, but nothings stops Father Time. He is a juggernaut of continuous power.

The routine has become monotonous and I long for something more, some change. But I cannot ask, I cannot try. I am my body’s prisoner and there is no escape. I can only observe what they are saying from afar. Talk of recovery comes rarely and it is solely about my communication, or lack thereof. My capability to form a single word seems to have left me and I can’t tell why. It’s a distant memory now.

However, the doctor’s conversation has changed today. She seems to have an unbearable burden on her back, crushing her under its weight.

“Paralysis, from the neck down. He’s not coming back from this.” The black words spilled from her mouth like molasses . My heart sank to the depths of the abyss, no return, no coming back. My life was over.. Those words were all that filled my head, it was all I could think of. I couldn’t do anything for myself, I was a useless,worthless sack of shit, destined to lie in a bed for the rest of my life unable to do ANYTHING! Something nobody wants to realise. But it’s my reality now. My blood boiled at that reality.

Then it came to me; surely she’s wrong. Even doctors can be wrong, medical degrees don’t mean anything when is comes to human error. She has to be wrong, I can feel it, there's still some feeling in my body. I'm not paralysed permanently, this won't last too long. Oh how delusional I was.

Days later, still in that bed unable to move and still confused about what has happened to me or when it happened, I knew I needed a change. I wanted to be fixed and was determined to make it happen but everytime I began to form the words I would choke. Still incapable of communication, I began to deteriorate. I would give all I owned and loved just to be fixed, put right. Even my wife and kids. They still haven’t visited me, they probably can't bear the sight of me like this. I can’t blame them because I can’t either.

My downward spiral continued that night; I started to dream of an accident. It involved a car. Someone was with me. Their blood was on my hands, on my face, on my clothes and in my hair. Blood of someone I had killed. I awoke with a scream which brought a nurse through. She found me in a state of fear and disary, wide-eyed in terror like prey caught by its vicious predator, frozen, immobile as any statue. She wiped the tears from my face as she called for a therapist. But it wouldn't help. I still couldn’t speak.

The rest of that night I spent trying to decipher the riddles of my brain, trying to find the identity of the one I caused to perish with my reckless driving. But my memories were lost in a labyrinth and I was trapped in the centre. Where to look for answers and a way out? The tears continued to flow, pooling on my cheeks, my muscles beginning to waste from the effects of paralysis. There was another pool, the blood of my victim. Oh God! What had I done?

I didn't want to awaken that morning, that afternoon or night. The therapist’s efforts were futile at best. Nothing could fix me, I’m useless and broken. If I could have pulled the plug, the flatline would be miles long by now. I wanted to know more about what happened but I couldn’t bring myself to attempt my speech therapy that day. They can’t help me, no one can. I was so deep into the void that it might as well have swallowed me. I should be with whoever it was who lost their life to me, just to apologise to them, to make sure they have found peace. My life is worthless now anyway.

Weeks passed. In spite of my earlier impressions I began to speak in broken words and then in broken sentences. Once I finally regained my ability to speak coherently I began to muster the courage to ask what had happened. But I was still haunted by the thoughts of my now recurring dream, it drew me like a moth to light, forever present in my thoughts. One afternoon, while a nurse fixed needles into my arm, I managed to croak out my question. She gave me a look of fierce sorrow, and called for my therapist again.

“Tell me Mr Adams, what do you remember of the incident?”The familiar, cautious voice of therapy.

I didn’t know what to say, I knew I had a passenger, I knew they had died, but I struggled to admit my knowledge of the accident. My very bones shook as the words spilled out. “ I- I ca- I can't remember who but, some- there was-” I choked on my own words. “There was someone else in the car when I crashed”.

What came next was worse than a sword to the heart. It was the destruction of my entire world, of my everything. My world began to crumble around me, the walls seemed to shake, the floor fell from under me, I slipped into the depths of the void seemingly never to return. The words dripped from his mouth like blood. It was my family. I had killed them in the crash, they had lost their lives to my mistake. I had killed them all, my beautiful wife and our little babies. I remembered the wine, the whisky, the loud music. I was drunk. The accident, my family asleep in the car after a New Year’s Eve party was down to me. I had decided, in fact I had argued with my wife over the keys, drunk though I was, to drive them home… We went through a barrier at 70 mph and straight off a drop. An 80 metre plummet. I shouldn't be alive. I should not have survived. I can taste the blood on my tongue again, I feel its metallic warmth on my lip, unable to move. I scream as in my peripheral vision are the lifeless bodies of my wife and little ones. I close my eyes. But I see them still.

There is no return now I have fallen so far. Mind and body unwind like string and the knots holding it all together unwravel. And I am left dangling by that last thread, deteriorating and grief- stricken. The thread will soon break. I accept what I did. I accept this deterioration as my fate. It already burns before me, emblazoned on my soul. I deserve it.

Epilogue

“The five stages [of grief], denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or in a prescribed order.”

-Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, author of -On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss-

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[belphegor1982]

#'nobody gives a shit' is a recurring tool that will help us later!!#also scanlan dropping all his problems bc vex has a problem#yeah he fucked up with kaylie but hang on his other daughter is telling him to get his act together#sober up burt reynolds esq!! not time for the full mental breakdown yet!! (x)