#'love me like neither my mama my papa nor he can' also a good line for floyd

[merakiui]

azul’s bedroom really looks like what xyz’s yubisaki sounds and feels like!!! the vibes from both are just so alluring. (/ω＼) 

the soft, dreamy lighting… the pretty purple and blue hues omg… have i stumbled into octavinelle love hotel?!?!?! (´⊙ω⊙`)

[haitaniapologist]

THE SUN.

pairings — bonten!akashi takeomi x female!reader.

warnings — fluff, omi is a dad, one of his daughters is a menace and sanzu is trying to be a good uncle, omi is 38, reader is in her mid 20s.

word count — 2.3k

notes — aria my baby, my love. no words can describe how grateful i'm for befriending you in this site, and all the aus and the other things you introduced to me. i hope you'll like it as much as i liked writing 🤍 also a big credit to aria because emiko and anzu are a creation of hers !! this is a repost bc the original post isn't showing the tags :(

tagging — @aetheriaess @tooweirdforyou @etheralyonn @sincerelyraylene @chronic-claire-universe @aqualesha @winterv-black @softbajis @dai-tsukki-desu

you still remembered the first time you saw takeomi as if it happened a few hours ago. 

it was a sunny afternoon. you had just returned from your lunch break with some of your friends to your workplace — a small and cozy café that you battled hard to work there — when you spotted two young girls, petting what seemed like a cat. they looked like relatives, maybe even siblings, and you looked around to see if any adult was near them, as they seemed not to be older than five. there wasn't one, and you sighed, already worried about their safety. it wasn't a violent neighborhood, but they were still little girls. 

you were surprised as how quickly they warmed up to you — maybe it was your offering of getting free pastries? — but you enjoyed their company. the black haired one introduced herself as emiko, the youngest twin, and said the brown haired one's name was anzu, her older sister. you smiled at their cuteness, and asked what they were doing all alone in the street. emiko explained they were shopping with their uncles when they saw the stray, and went running to it when their uncle haru let go of their hands. 

she told you that with a smile on her face while her sister was having the time of her life eating the sweets you provided for them, and you wondered who their parents were for leaving them with such an irresponsible uncle like their uncle haru seemed to be. but you smiled, asking if she knew the number of her papa or mama — you noticed how anzu's eyes became sad at the mention of their mom, and your heart clenched — and emiko promptly gave you a paper, with the number of akashi takeomi, who seemed to be their father. 

the moment takeomi entered your small cafe, you knew you were doomed. he was too handsome to be an actual person — black and white hair, scar on his face and designed suit adorning his shoulders — and you wondered what woman was foolish enough to let him go, if the sad look in anzu's brown eyes meant their mother wasn't around. 

but you weren't like her. and when the opportunity to have takeomi in your life came, you grabbed it as if your life depended on it. and it was the best decision you ever made. 

not only did you became mother to two beautiful little girls, but takeomi was the best boyfriend you ever had. of course, his line of work wasn't the best in the world — your grandmother would faint if she knew her beloved granddaughter's boyfriend was the advisor of the most powerful gang in the country — but takeomi always made sure that neither you nor the girls were tainted by it. his top priority was the safety of you three, and you were okay with the fact that dates or going out to have fun with anzu and emiko weren't a routine for your little family. 

but from time to time he treated you to dinner in a fancy restaurant owned by one of his colleagues, and that was exactly what he was doing. you two were honoring the opening of kokonoi's new restaurant, and takeomi took advantage of the situation to do something he should've done the first time he laid his eyes on you. he gave you his black card, and you took the girls with you on a shopping trip, so they could help you choose your date's outfit — they made you buy a pastel pink princess dress with white heels, because they knew their dad would like to see you wearing it — and treated them to ice cream before going back home, to get ready and wait for both their dad and haruchiyo, who was going to be their babysitter.

you weren't the best fan of haruchiyo's babysit ways — kakucho or ran would be your first choice, but the youngest akashi brother wanted to spend time with his nieces, so you agreed to his offer. but you were worried, and checked your phone every two seconds to see if anything happened. 

“you don't need to worry your pretty head about them, darling.” takeomi reassured you while you two were waiting for the desserts to come, his fingers intertwined with yours on the table. “he's probably hiding from emiko now.” you giggled thinking about haruchiyo, a twenty-eight year old man, hiding from emiko — a five-year-old girl, that was born with his exact same personality. 

“well, now he knows the trouble he put you into when he was a kid, doesn't he?” you said with a glint of mischief in your eyes, and takeomi playfully rolled his green orbs. 

“probably not.” your boyfriend answered, smiling politely at the waiter, who was putting the desserts in front of you — yours a chocolate cheesecake, his a lemon cake. “as he keeps putting me in trouble. but now it's worse.” you nodded, mouth stuffed with the sweet. it was amazing, and takeomi smiled fondly at your expression. he loved to take you out like that — you always looked like a curious child seeing the lights of an amusement park for the first time, and he was happy to know he was the one who could provide such experiences for you. 

the conversation over dessert was mainly focused on the girls and haruchiyo, with takeomi occasionally saying some things that happened in the headquarters. he always had amusing stories to tell, and you loved to hear every single one of them. you giggled loudly when he told you about a bet the haitanis did with kakucho, which ended with the brothers on their knees, getting scolded by bonten's number 3. you liked to see takeomi acting so carefree. when you worked as the babysitter of the girls — after they made you quit your job in the café with their puppy eyes that you couldn't say no to — you noticed how tensed he always looked, and to know that, now, you were one of the reasons he allowed himself to relax, made your heart flutter with butterflies. 

dessert ended, and you thought you two were going home, but takeomi said koko suggested you two go to the last floor of the building — if the weather was fine, it was supposed to be one of the most beautiful sights in the whole city. it was a bit chilly, and takeomi draped your form in his suit jacket, but the view was breathtaking. the stars seemed to be closer than before, and you could see the light of the whole city from there. you always knew kokonoi was a man of taste, but he really outdid himself when buying the whole building. 

you felt takeomi’s arms circling your shoulder and bringing your body closer to his, but your eyes were glued on the sight before you. you weren’t used to such things — before dating takeomi, you were just someone who was graduating from college, who worked part-time in a small café, and the luxuries he provided for you were things you only dreamed about having.

“penny for your thoughts, pretty girl?” takeomi asked curiously, seeing how you were biting your lip — a sign you were in deep thinking. he was, too, but he was thinking about how he would drop the question without scaring you off. he knew it was a big step that he thought you two were both ready to take together, but he wasn’t in your mind to say he was a hundred percent sure. what if you wanted to wait a few more years? you were younger than — a lot younger, actually — and he wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t want to spend the rest of your life with an old man like him. takeomi wouldn’t blame you if that was the case. 

you hummed, nuzzling your face on his chest. “just thinking about how i love you.” you were still a bit shy saying out loud how deep your affections for him were, but you needed to make sure he knew how much you loved him — because you knew what people talked behind both of your backs. that you were probably with him just because of his money, how you would babytrap him when the opportunity came. nobody could at least think that you were with takeomi because he made you safe, because you loved him, because he was a good father and a good man, despite everything. 

the hand that was resting on your shoulder cupped your cheek, and you closed your eyes when you felt his lips pressing against your forehead. “you’re my whole world, you know.” takeomi smiled seeing how flustered your face became when he said that, chuckling softly when you hid your face on his chest once more. 

“i thought it was the girls.” you argued, stubborn as always. 

he gently manoeuvred your face again, both of his hands now holding it as if you were the most precious jewel in the world. “they are too, yes, but i like to think of our little family as the solar system. i’m the earth, and they are my moons, but you are our sun.” the puzzled look you gave him was too adorable, and he needed to restrain himself to not pinch your cheeks. “you brought warmth and life to your home.” takeomi remembered how dull and lifeless his penthouse was before you moved in — the girls were the main source of life, but the walls were plain, and the decoration was too simple before you. now, his house looked like a proper home, the home he always wanted to give his siblings while they were growing up. 

“you’re gonna make me cry.” you murmured, vision a bit glossy already. 

“then i’ll be short: i love you.” takeomi’s hands let go of your cheeks, and you watched dumbfounded as how he got on one knee, his hands holding a small black velvet box. 

“and because of that, please, marry me.” 

—

the house was too quiet. 

you and takeomi were walking hand in hand, the diamond ring shining on your finger — you obviously said yes to his almost command, and you couldn’t wait to be called akashi y/n after you two signed the papers. it was a dream coming true and, in the way back, your now fiancé said you didn’t have a budget for anything in the celebration, you could do anything you liked, and your mind was spiralling with ideas. and, of course, you two were excited to tell the girls about the news. you were already their mother, but it would be official in a few months.

you exchanged some worried looks with takeomi because of the quietness. the girls couldn’t be sleeping, not when haruchiyo was babysitting them. you thought they were either watching tv, or baking cookies, or even running around chasing their uncle. 

“mama! papa!” it was anzu who greeted you both when takeomi opened the door for you, her tiny legs making her run towards you, and you picked her up, kissing her cheeks. takeomi kissed her hair, and the little girl giggled in your arms. 

“where is your sister, baby?” he asked, and anzu looked anxiously to her dad. emiko was a force of nature to reckon with, and she tried — she really did — to stop her younger sister from using their uncle as her guinea pig, but emiko never listened to her. but before she could answer, anzu caught a glimpse of the ring on your finger, and she gasped loudly. “i’ll just confirm what this means when you tell me where emiko is, sweetheart.” 

“okay, papa.” anzu answered, her tiny arms encircling your shoulders. “she’s with uncle haru in her room! she wants to be a hairdresser, and he is her first client.” 

you and your fiancé shared a worried look. “emiko! mama and papa are home!” you called the youngest twin, hearing her giggles and the sound of her running. she promptly jumped in her father’s arms, smooching her cheek against his. you smiled at the sight, patting anzu’s head — who started to do the same with you. you and takeomi walked towards the living room, putting the girls on the sofa. 

you showed them the rings and they squealed. “anzu, do you see this? mama will be our official mama now!” the older twin nodded excitedly at her younger sister, and you kneeled in front of them so they could hug you. takeomi smiled down at the sight in front of him — allowing you into his life was the best decision he ever made. 

hearing the sound coming from the living room, haruchiyo stumbled out of emiko’s room, his hair full of shiny butterfly clips, his nails painted with different colors and his face painted with makeup — and a look of pure terror on his eyes. but they softened when he saw the ring on your finger, and he awkwardly patted his older brother’s shoulder. takeomi smiled at his brother, knowing it was his way to show how happy he was for both of you. he and haruchiyo still had a long way to mend what was broken, but step by step, they were rebuilding what they lost. “i swear.” he whispered at takeomi’s side, both of them watching as you excitedly told the girls about your plans for the marriage. “emiko is little gremlin.” 

takeomi chuckled. “as you were.” haruchiyo rolled his eyes in annoyance. he couldn’t be like his niece — he was an angel. 

“uncle haru!” emiko squealed again, running towards her uncle, and you snorted seeing his appearance. “mama and papa are going to marry! you, me and anzu are going to be the flower girls!”

the look on haruchiyo’s face made you and takeomi to laugh as hard as you two never did before.

—

tagging the ones who interacted with the first post too, so you guys can have the final post in your likes/reblogs !!! but thank you, really <3

@nanamis-wifey-reye @lonnie19 @twochainsandrollies @joxuke @s-hera @danceafternoon @sanzus-katana @lunarie-e @randomblogie @manjirosgrl

[montrealmadison]

t'étais réel parce qu'il t'aimait

or, “you were real because he loved you”

i work at a place that accepts children’s book donations, so when “the velveteen rabbit” came across my desk the other day, the beginnings of this popped into my head. then the lovely lau at @weneedtotalkaboutfic​ posted this and also this about ftm!bitty and my brain just took off! enjoy <3

“Has her fever gone down?”

Bitty blows out a long breath and twists around to look at the clock, on the off chance that it’ll give him a better answer than the truth—but all it tells him is that it’s 8:07, and he’s exhausted.

“No.” He pins the phone between his cheek and his shoulder so he can dry his hands. “Hasn’t budged all day.”

On the other end, his mama hums sympathetically. “It will, baby. Y’all are doin’ everything right.”

“Thanks,” he sighs, folding the dishtowel over the oven handle. “It’s just—I hate that she’s so uncomfortable.”

Bitty used to think that he’d made his peace with chaos. He’s moved schools, changed sports, reinvented himself half a hundred times. He’s come out on national television and transitioned publicly on the Internet. He’s written a book, is in the process of drafting another. He’s married to one of the most prominent NHL players in the league, for crying out loud.

But sick toddlers, Bitty is learning, are a whole other hockey game.

read more below or on ao3

Thankfully, at least the kitchen routine is muscle memory at this point: pots dried, dishwasher started, dog fed and watered for the night. The mess in here isn’t too bad, all things considered. He checks the lock on the back door and then lets himself sag against the counter, just a little. It’s been a day. A week, really. He's barely slept for the stress of it all.

“Dicky, honey, you sound like you need a break.” He can picture the frown on his mama’s face when she says it. Funny how her voice still feels like a hug from seven states away. “How’s Jack? Is he alright?”

“Mhm,” he says. “Upstairs puttin’ Ellie to bed, bless him.”

“Good. Well, listen, y’all call anytime if you need us, alright? Your daddy and I will be up, we’re goin’ to the Callahans’.”

“Ooh. Save the good gossip for me?”

“You know I will,” Mama promises with a laugh. “Now go on and sit down for me. I love you.”

“Yes, ma’am. Love you too,” Bitty says, almost absently, and flops onto the couch as the line clicks into silence.

He tries to relax—promise, he really does—but he only makes it about five minutes before the worry wins out and he has to get up again. He just can’t sit still today, especially when he hasn’t heard anything from upstairs in so long. He climbs the stairs and starts down the hall towards Giselle’s room, but pauses and peeks around the doorframe at the soft sound of Jack’s voice.

In the dim light, he can just make out Jack’s giant form carefully folded to fit into Ellie’s bed, one foot planted firmly on the floor to keep him balanced. Bitty presses a hand over his mouth, trying to resist the sudden urge to laugh at the sight of his husband trying to fit in a bed made for a toddler. Thankfully, it works, because neither Jack nor Giselle notice him—their daughter’s curled up next to her papa, tired and sleep-soft, with her flushed little face on Jack’s chest and her slow-blinking eyes fixed on the book in his hands.

The dog’s on the floor in here, too, tail thumping away against the carpet. He huffs, looks up at Bitty with big, understanding eyes as if to say: We got it in here.

Which is clearly the case—they’re already in the middle of a story. Jack is reading in soft, measured tones: “And when the Boy dropped off to sleep, the Rabbit would snuggle down close under his little warm chin and dream, with the Boy's hands clasped close round him all night long.”

It's the French translation, but Bitty feels himself melt almost immediately. He’d recognize The Velveteen Rabbit anywhere. It’d been his favorite as a baby, part of the reason his mama had come home one day with Señor Bun, and—well, the rest is Bittle family history. He leans in the doorway, closes his eyes and drifts while Jack reads.

He’s had a lot of time, now, to learn the differences between French Jack and English Jack, and why each language is important to him—especially where teaching his children is concerned. In French, his voice is softer, lilting, expressive in a way that transfixes Giselle and Bitty alike. Bitty himself has fallen asleep to the sound of that voice many times, and is mostly impressed that Ellie can still fight her own exhaustion just to listen a little longer.

Jack turns the page, and Bitty watches as his face and his voice soften with emotion at the next line: “And then, one day, the Boy was ill.”

Oh. Bitty remembers this part well, too—remembers the feeling of his own mama curled around him when he was sick as a kid. Remembers Coach’s shadow in the doorway, his quieter concern, his gentle hand on Bitty’s shoulder. Jack goes on: “But the Rabbit snuggled down patiently, and looked forward to the time when the Boy should be well again, and they would go out in the garden amongst the flowers and the butterflies and play splendid games in the raspberry thicket like they used to.”

Bitty remembers Señor Bun, equally patient, snuggled up under his chin, and has an idea. He backs quietly out of the room and retreats down the hall to their bedroom, where the bunny himself is propped on the pillows, waiting for them to come to bed. Bittly inhales the familiar scent of the fabric, looks into his bright embroidered eyes. He swears they look understanding somehow.

“You ready to work your magic, buddy?” he asks. “Let’s go.”

Jack does notice him this time, eyes crinkling in acknowledgment when he sees Bitty in the doorway. His voice is getting softer now, the words slowing in time with Giselle’s blinks, and Bitty crosses the room to lay Señor Bun in their daughter’s arms.

Neither of them move until they’re sure that Giselle is asleep at last; even then, Jack extracts himself from the bed as quietly as possible, smoothes the covers over her with a feather-light touch. When they meet in the hallway, Jack presses his face into Bitty’s neck. They stand there in the quiet, breathing together, for a long time.

“How is she?” Bitty finally asks.

“Hot,” Jack says, frowning. “I gave her another Tylenol.”

Bitty sighs deep, presses his forehead into Jack’s chest. “Mm, okay. Let’s hope she kicks this soon.”

“She will,” says Jack. “She’s our kid, that’s gotta count for something, right?”

“Oh, yeah.” Despite himself, Bitty finds that a smile comes easily enough. It always does with Jack’s reassurance. “Gotta be tough in this family.”

Jack laughs lightly. “Yeah.”

They retreat to their bedroom, turning off lights as they go. Their nighttime routine, too, is as comfortable as breathing now. When Bitty comes back from brushing his teeth, he finds Jack in bed, reading glasses on, still flipping through The Velveteen Rabbit.

“I’m glad you picked that one for her,” says Bitty slowly. “That was my favorite book as a kid.”

Jack turns it over in his hands, looks up at Bitty with warmth in his eyes. “This one?” he asks, smiling. “That explains Señor Bun, eh?”

“Yeah.” Bitty has to swallow around a sudden lump in his throat, and almost immediately finds himself blinking back hot tears. He bites his lip. “Well, and I, um—no, it’s stupid.”

“Bits?” says Jack, concerned. He closes the book and sits up. “Hey, no it’s not. Why else was it important?”

Bitty looks down. “I used to want to be Real,” he says, all in a rush. “Just like the Rabbit. Used to wish there’d be a fairy that would see how unhappy I was, and come and—oh, Lord—”

It’s like a switch flips in his brain; all of a sudden he’s crying in earnest, days of pent-up stress and fear rushing past the floodgates at once. Jack makes a soft sound and holds Bitty close, letting him cry it out, rocking him just a little. His hands are big and warm on Bitty’s back.

“Shh, bud, hey,” he says. “That’s not stupid at all.”

Bitty sniffles and scrubs at his eyes, lets out a burst of slightly hysterical laughter. “I—God. I don’t know what it is, I was looking at you and Ellie and—I don't know, I just wish the person I was when I first read it could see me now. I wish that little kid hadn’t had to go through all the shit I did to get here.”

Jack doesn’t say anything at first, just pulls back a little. Bitty looks up, confused—but Jack’s just reaching behind him to grab the book off his nightstand, flipping through it until he finds the page he wants. Then he puts an arm back around Bitty’s shoulders and pulls him close, kisses his temple.

“Generally,” he reads, in English this time, “by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

He fixes Bitty with those bottomless blue eyes. "I hope you'll let me keep telling you," he says slowly, "that it all meant something, bud. You made yourself real. You gave us our daughter."

Bitty laughs, watery. "I did."

"You did." Jack kisses him again, soft and full of meaning. "And I promise I'll never stop trying to understand."

[wrenhyperfixates]

Of All the Places

Chapter 3

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: Washing up in a small town in Oklahoma was definitely not part of Loki’s plan when he came to conquer Midgard. There is one good thing about it, though: No one recognizes him as the one who just wreaked havoc in New York. So, Loki plans to recover from the battle and move on with his life. The only problem? He’s not sure he can leave you. Chapter Summary: Loki battles with new thoughts and feelings as time goes on. While trying to convince himself to leave, he does his best to stop his growing connection to you and Matt. Chapter Warnings: some angst, but also fluff A/N: Third chapter done! For anyone wondering about James, there’s some more information on him in this chapter. And for anyone who saw that other post, this isn’t the super long chapter yet, sorry! Updates every Friday. As always, hope you enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiantfavs​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​

✥ Start at Beginning ✥ | ← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

One week later, Loki was ready to leave. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He’d done his best to keep his distance, and yet he kept getting roped into conversations with you. Surely, though, that was wholly due to your persistence and in no part because he was drawn to you. And this family breakfast he was at yet again? Simply because he was addicted to pancakes. It had nothing to do with you, or your family, or your kind eyes. Okay, maybe it had the tiniest bit to do with your kind eyes. The way you looked at him was like nothing he’d ever known before. Frigga had always done it with a gentle love, but it was always reserved and hidden behind a queenly mask. With you, he could see every thought that passed through your mind reflected in your eyes. He shouldn’t have enjoyed being seen as a bird with a broken wing, but the care you gave him was something he quite liked.

“Hey,” you whispered, nudging him in the side as the rest of the table laughed at something. “You ok?”

“Yes. Just lost in thought I suppose.”

“I hate to interrupt,” Mama curtly interjected, “but whispering at the table ain’t polite.”

Ah, now if Loki was looking for a reason to leave, he could certainly find one in Mama. Though you’d been the one to start the hushed conversation, she was looking pointedly at Loki as if he was the instigator. Then again, she acted like every bad thing that happened since his arrival was his fault, even things he had no control over. Maybe spiting her by staying was reason enough for his delayed departure.

“Sorry,” you said before he could deliver a withering insult. “It’s my fault.”

Mama just made a little humming noise in reply that obviously showed she neither blamed you nor appreciated you taking the fall. In the time that Loki had been at your farm, she either avoided him like the plague or dealt thinly veiled insults his way. It was grating on his nerves, but there wasn’t much he could do bar revealing himself as an all-powerful god. Or leaving. That was always an option, he reminded himself.

“Son, I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Papa started, ignoring the tension like always, “I’ve misplaced that dang camera again. I’ll find it again soon though, don’t you worry.”

Little did he know, that camera’s disappearing act was entirely due to Loki’s magic. He’d hidden it around the house a number of times, never anywhere too outrageous as to avoid suspicion. Perhaps this time he’d just keep it in a dimensional pocket. Or let Taffy knock it over. Maybe if it was broken, you’d give up on the missing person ad idea. He’d worried that you would just use your phone cameras instead, but Papa was convinced that the quality would not be good enough.

“It is quite alright, sir. Your hospitality is more than enough. In fact, I really ought to be on my way soon,” he finished, throwing a glance at you to gauge your reaction, feeling an odd spark of happiness when you sank down in your seat.

“No!” Matt cried. “I don’t want you to.”

He crossed his arms as if that solved everything. It did, however, soften Loki a little. As it turns out, he was very fond of the little guy. On Asgard he’d never had much time to spend with children, but it seemed like he had inherited his mother’s natural ability to be good with them. Inherited is the wrong word, actually, he bitterly thought to himself. She’s not your real mother, after all.

“Matt, if he wants to leave, we really should let him,” Mama scolded, with an almost hopeful expression.

“Actually, I do not see why I shouldn’t stay a bit longer,” Loki said, flashing a false grin at the woman. “There really is no rush, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” she muttered. “No rush.”

“Well, Loki, since Matt has taken to you so well, maybe you’d like to watch him this afternoon?” Ana asked, pretending she didn’t hear Mama’s latest remark.

“It would be my pleasure,” he responded, surprised by the sincerity of that statement.

The family had still been avoiding giving Loki strenuous tasks, believing that he was just incredibly good at hiding his ailments. To keep up appearances, he pretended to have a particularly bad ache or pain every once in a while. Whenever he did, you’d instantly appear at his side and usher him to a seat. He’d try to get up, but you would tell him to stay put in your best stern tone, which he found rather adorable, though he’d never admit it. Then you’d fetch him a glass of water and watch over him for the next hour, or until you decided he was well enough to get up again.

Fifteen minutes later, it was time to start the day and everyone helped clear the table. Your family had made the process as efficient as possible. Mama and John would bring the dishes to Papa in the kitchen, who would hand them to you to put in the dishwasher after rinsing them off. Ana and Matt would put away all the leftovers and toppings from whatever had just been on the menu. Loki helped out where he could, but most days everyone besides Mama insisted he should take it easy, that he could help when he was fully healed. It was odd, he realized, that you were all planning on him being around that long. He felt that familiar, nagging, guilty feeling he’d been getting ever since he arrived. He was not a fan.

By the time Ana and John were ready to leave, Loki had already collected the eggs, the only daily chore he was given, and was ready to watch Matt. It was only as the boy was hugging his parents goodbye that Loki realized he wasn’t really sure what to do with the child for the next few hours. He was thankful that you seemed like you were planning on sticking around, too. It did make sense, he supposed, that they hadn’t completely trusted the boy with a near stranger.

“Aren’t you healthy, mommy?” Matt asked, clinging to Ana’s leg as she tried to get away. “Why do you have to go to the doctor?”

“Because you’re going to have a little brother or sister soon,” Ana explained in a sweet tone as she gently pried her son away. “Mommy and Daddy have to go to the doctor to make sure the baby is healthy.”

Loki’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He had not yet realized that Ana was pregnant. She must not have been very far along because she wasn’t showing much yet. Though, now that he knew to look, the god could see a small baby bump. Based on Matt’s reaction, he was already aware that he’d have a sibling soon, but he still couldn’t quite grasp the concept of everything that went along with that.

“Will you be back soon?” Matt questioned, finally giving up his efforts to keep his parents where they were.

“In the blink of an eye, small fry,” John said, placing a kiss on his head.

That seemed to satisfy Matt, who wandered over to Loki and put his arms up, clearly looking to be picked up. He hesitated for a second before scooping up the boy. It wasn’t that he was afraid of dropping him, in fact he was sure he wouldn’t, but he’d never held a child before. Up until a few days ago, he wasn’t sure he even had the slightest inkling how to be nurturing. And then there was the whole problem of Matt becoming too attached. Not to mention the way you looked at him when he did held him. That soft gaze was a problem for sure.

“Alright,” you said once Ana and John were gone. “What do you want to do, buddy?”

“Hide and seek!” he shouted. Then he put his small, chubby hands on Loki’s cheeks and used his most serious tone. “You’ll never find me. I have the best hidey spots.”

Loki let out a nervous chuckle. Truth be told, he didn’t know how to play this game. When he and Thor were kids, they played run and attack, but he felt like this was probably not very comparable. Midgard was a very different place, after all.

“Just count to sixty and then come look for us. We’ll stay in the house,” you informed Loki as he passed Matt off to you. “Oh, and just shout out when you’re starting to look.”

“Thank you,” he replied, turning around to face the wall.

It was odd, he thought, that he seemed to have said thank you more in the past week than he had in the last century of his existence. He’d never meant to let himself get so bitter, but here he was stewing in that awful feeling. When the flash of anger receded, the God of Mischief realized he was face to face with a framed family tree. Highest up were pictures of couples he could only assume were your grandparents. Next line down was Mama, Papa, and their siblings. You and Ana were in the next row, and it struck him just how much you and your sister looked alike. Matt and John were there too, but the person that most captured his attention was your brother. The middle child, he guessed, since the picture was in between those of you and Ana. He gently ran his fingers over the looping gold cursive of James’s name. Loki loved a good mystery, but he needed clues and evidence to solve one. He knew next to nothing about the guy, other than that he’d been wearing his clothes for the past seven days.  

“I am starting to look now,” Loki awkwardly shouted, feeling self-conscious about seeming like he was talking to no one.

He thought he heard a small snort coming from one of the upper levels at his gawky declaration, so he headed up first. It felt odd to go rifling through things, so he mainly tried just to peer under furniture, though he did open a closet once or twice. He huffed and considered if he should venture into any of your rooms. If you weren’t there, though, he’d feel like he was intruding on something private and sacred. Hesitating with a hand hovering over the doorknob to your room, he noticed the attic hatch out of the corner of his eye. Standing still, he could hear a very subtle shuffling noise coming from above him, so either you were there, or you’d better call pest control.

As soon as he climbed the ladder, Matt started giggling, but Loki pretended he couldn’t hear. He loudly walked in between the boxes littering the floor, every once in a while dramatically peering around an old piece of furniture. It only made the laughs louder.

“Now where could they be?” he sighed in mock exasperation. “Maybe, they’re here!”

Then he jumped around the couch you were hiding behind and started tickling Matt. The boy squealed in delight and squirmed away. When Loki looked at you, he saw something shocking on your face. Admiration. It was something he’d longed for from so many people in his life, and here you were giving it so freely to him. He moved his gaze elsewhere before his mind could wander any further.

“What’s all the ruckus up here?” Mama asked, her head appearing from the door. After spotting Loki, her eyes narrowed. “Oh. It’s you.”

“We were just playing hide and seek, Mama. Don’t worry,” you said.

“Indeed. I must say, it is much fun,” Loki added, though more to annoy her than ease her mind.

“I’m sure,” she replied before taking Matt by the hand. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

You shot Loki an apologetic glance as you headed out after her. Once Matt’s snack was finished, Loki partook in some coloring. He was oddly pleased to know the little boy’s favorite color was green, and you seemed fairly partial to it, too. Ana and John returned roughly an hour later, and Loki finished the day by doing chores around the farm. Another thing he’d learned about himself was that he really didn’t mind doing manual labor. Growing up in the Royal Palace Valaskjalf, he never had to lift a finger to help cook or clean or do anything much besides training and lessons, really. Now he found himself almost eager to get into the kitchen for a cooking lesson with Papa or help out in the fields, the latter of which definitely had nothing to do with showing off for you.

He’d been on his way to the kitchen that evening sometime after dinner, his infamous sweet tooth bugging him again, when he heard Mama’s hushed voice.

“I’m telling you Earl, something about that boy just don’t sit right with me.”

“Come on, honey. He can’t even remember nothing. It’s our duty to help him out,” Loki heard Papa reply as he hid just outside the door.

“He may say he can’t remember, but I ain’t buying it. We should get him out soon as possible.”

It shouldn’t bother him as much as it did, but there was nothing to stop him from feeling the sting of those words. He really should just leave; it had been his plan after all. As if they had a will of their own, Loki’s feet carried him away from the conversation, out the door, and off the porch. He never should have taken advantage of your family’s generosity. He regretted thinking about you, though, because it made his steps falter a bit. And then there was sweet little Matt. It hadn’t really hit him until now, but Loki actually enjoyed himself today. He couldn’t recall the last day he could say that about.

“I hope you weren’t going to leave without saying goodbye.”

The trickster god whirled around at the sound of your voice. He’d been too caught up in his tumultuous thoughts to notice you leaning on one of the porch’s posts.

“Certainly not,” he lied. “I just needed some fresh air is all.”

“In that case, I know the perfect place. Come on.”

You took his hand and led him away from your land. He tried not to pay attention to the feeling of your hand in his. In fact, he tried to block it out altogether, but to no avail. Eventually, you reached a peaceful creek and picked up a rock to skip.

“If I was going to leave,” he began after a few minutes of contemplative silence, “I really would be fine. I appreciate all that you and your family have done, truly, but perhaps it’s best if I go.”

“Look, I know you’re pretty much all healed up, but you still don’t remember anything. I cannot in good conscience let you out into the world like that.”

“I suppose that is fair. Your mother certainly does not agree with your assessment, though.”

You sighed. “If Mama’s the reason you feel you should go, please just ignore her. She means well and all, but... Well, let’s just say she has her reasons for acting this way,”

Loki said nothing but raised his eyebrows at you. One part of him felt bad to press you for more information, even if it was done without words. The much larger part of himself, however, was entirely too curious to not know.

“Okay, so remember when I told you about my brother?”

Loki nodded eagerly, ready to get some answers about what exactly had happened there.

“Well, he was... He was killed in an accident with a drunk driver a couple years ago,” you recounted, tearing up a little bit. “Mama had trust issues even before, but they’re much worse now.”

“I am so sorry, darling,” Loki said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, but not daring to go any further than that.

He felt bad for your loss, but right now there were major alarm bells going off in his head. He’d just called you darling. It wan’t even something he’d thought about doing, it just happened. That, coupled with the fact he cared how you were feeling, had him panicking. His plan to leave after a week was already out the window, but leaving at all was becoming harder to fathom by the day.

“It’s ok,” you replied, wiping a few errant tears off your cheeks. “It was a little while ago. I’m alright now. Really.”

Neither of you said anything for a moment as he awkwardly pat your shoulder, not really certain of the correct way to comfort someone. He wanted to say something else, but he wasn’t sure what.

“I think I had a brother!” he shouted, giving in to his desire to confide in you, but his web of lies making it impossible to tell the whole truth.

“We have to put that ad in the paper then. So he can find you.”

Little did you know how awful that situation would be for everyone involved. Still, it meant a lot that you cared, especially when you’d just been saddened at the memory of your own brother.

“Maybe, but I do not seem to think we had a very good relationship.”

“All the more reason then. You never know how long you have, so you should try to make amends.”

“Perhaps.”

You lapsed into silence again, not really sure where to go from there. By now, the sun had been down for a while and a chill was settling in the air. Loki noticed you shiver and shrugged off his hoodie.

“Here,” he embarrassedly mumbled, holding it out to you.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t,” you refused. “You’ll be cold then.”

“Nonsense,” he insisted, “I will be perfectly fine.”

You reluctantly agreed and pulled it on. Though it had only been in his possession for a short time, his scent had already claimed the soft fabric. He acted like his attention was averted elsewhere, but was actually watching you out of the corner of his eye. You didn’t notice his gaze on you as you took a gentle sniff, trying to take as much of it in as possible. Sandalwood, leather and something otherworldly that you just couldn’t name, other than to call it heaven. He turned his head ever so slightly and you started sheepishly picking at your nails, hoping he hadn’t caught you. He expected to be appalled by the notion, but just found himself confused. Why would you enjoy something that was so distinctly him? Then he remembered you didn’t know the truth. That’s why he had to get out as soon as possible before he, or anyone else, got hurt.

“We should probably head back before it gets too late,” you said after a bit.

“I agree,” was all he replied.

As you walked away from the creek, he tried to leave the new feelings bubbling in him by the water, but they followed him all the way back to the house, and into his dreams that night.

[casualcatte]

RP Journal: 08/10/2020

Gods, it was good to finally get out and hunt again!  Granted, I was bringing Edgard Beaumont with me that might prove to be a mixed blessing, but I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He /was/ a Knight Dragoon, after all, surely he’s got some fighting skill and ability to track things.  How else does a dragonslayer slay dragons? Surely they don’t just laze around til one flies by them, that would be silly.

(( Courtesy cut for length.  Also, sorry about the lack of screenshots, this was all during maintenance. ))

I had Edgard meet me out in Yanxia at noon and he arrived precisely on time, he even carried some rope and a quarterstaff, instead of his usual spear. We weren’t out to kill these birds, only subdue them for an artist in Kugane. He wants to paint them, then will release them back into the wilds. Live-capture hunts are always a bit more of a challenge, it would make a fine test to see what Edgard was worth in the field. After all, I have no doubt he can fight, he’s fought dragons, for pity’s sake!  But taking a non-violent means to dealing with a problem? I think it would say volumes about who he is both as a person and a fighter.

I outlined my plan and he declared it sound, so we took ourselves out to the Glittering Basin where it was known for these bi-fangs to roam as their territory. Setting up a lookout point, it was just a matter of sighting the birds and seeing where they went to roost. 

I don’t think I’d been this relaxed in a long time. The day was warm, and Edgard -- while still very much Edgard -- was good company. He listened, followed directions, didn’t try to put me behind him for protection, or treat me like I didn’t know what I was doing. He trusted me and I trusted him.

Gods be good, we needed that trust today. No hunt is ever flawless, there are always unexpected things that happen that you have to adjust to or you either lose your quarry or you get hurt. That’s just the nature of the beast. I absolutely wasn’t expecting these bi-fangs to be a mated pair, much less a mated pair with a clutch of eggs. I think I’ll make it a point to mention that to Tetsuyo when I return to the Bounty Call. Most hunters I know have a great respect for nature, granted, we weren’t killing the pair but it was still taking them away from hatchlings that might otherwise die without them and their protection. 

Anyway, the hunt first. Edgard was probably the most serious I’ve seen him since I’ve known him; he was studious and attentive, asking questions about what to do or what to look for. He seemed genuinely interested in learning, so I did all I could to help him. It was here that he said he trusted me and for a moment I had to wonder why. What good will had I garnered with him to be someone he trusted with his life? I doubt it has anything to do with how skillful I am at evading his spurious advances. 

Knowing what I know now, I found it easier to be, well, at ease around him. To even play and flirt with him, give him a taste of his own medicine. It was fun and we laughed; I’m almost convinced I nearly made him blush a couple of times, but that’s neither here nor there.

The hunt!  Once we sighted the bi-fang pair, Edgard used his dragoon ability to jump us up to the cliff where the birds had made their roost. Naturally, I had to climb on Edgard’s back and he had to make a bunch of insinuations about it. Still he got us up to the roost in short order and that’s when we learned that we were facing two very angry parent bi-fang and their clutch of half a dozen chicks.

Thankfully, the chicks weren’t that grown, so they weren’t much of a threat. I used one of the Darkness arrows to blind the Papa Bird while Edgard kept Mama Bird busy until I could use one of my Net arrows. Edgard got scratched once, but didn’t seem any worse for wear for it. I’ll really have to thank that magitechnician for the arrows, they are the most clever thing I’ve seen in a long time. A pity I don’t remember his name, how will I ever have these made again once I run out?  As it stands, I’m out of the Net arrows after this.

I was just about to use my second Net arrow on Papa when he came flailing at me blindly. That’s also when one of the chicks in the nest decided I was a tasty snack and /bit/ me on the ankle. It was enough to startle me that I dropped the arrow and that split-second distraction won me a wing to the face as Papa Bird sent me flying off the cliff.

I won’t lie and say there wasn’t a moment of panic, because there was, but I’d prepared for this eventuality.  You fight aerial opponents, you’d best be prepared to take a long fall. Another of those magitek arrows deployed a light filament line that was stronger than any rope I’ve ever seen. I fired it into the cliffside and swung to safety, albeit the impact into the cliffside will leave me sore tomorrow. Even as I was dealing with my own plight, I saw Edgard get shoved off the cliffside as well by a headbutt from the Papa Bird. I know I didn’t have much time and that, for the moment, the dragoon seemed to have no way to save himself.

I gathered myself and ran back and forth along the cliff face to build momentum, then I swung out to catch him. Thank every God that he wasn’t wearing anything heavier than leather and chainmail. If he’d have been in drachenmail or full plate, we’d have been doomed. Or at least he would have.  I don’t think I could have held him. We only had moments to rest there, however, as Papa Bird began diving toward us, enraged enough to want to eviscerate us. 

This was the biggest moment of trust in this hunt. Edgard told me to let go of the rope and grab onto him. I knew he was about to /dragoon/ us out of there, but it was still a daunting proposition. Still, in for a penny in for a pound. It was either fall or die to the talons of the angry bi-fang. Falling seemed the least fatal of either option. I let go, still clutching to Edgard’s hand from where I’d caught him, I wrapped my other arm around his neck and squeezed my eyes shut. The way dragoon’s jump makes my stomach turn a flip, but it cleared us of the predatory swoop of the bi-fang and sent it sweeping past us. 

Edgard landed us on the ground and looked to me for a new plan as Papa Bird rounded on us to attack again. I was out of Net arrows by this point and none of the other arrows I had would do the trick. So, I opted to go with an alchemical solution. I pulled a sleeping draught from my pouches and waited. I couldn’t afford to miss. And I waited. 

Behind me, I could hear Edgard yelling my name. Was he worried? Frightened?  No, not Edgard. I stood there, letting the bi-fang get closer and closer, I could see the wicked curve of its talons, eager to rip me to shreds. Closer still.  I could feel the waves of … nerves?...emanating from Edgard. Still, I waited.

At the last possible moment, I threw the sleeping draught right in the beast’s face. It only took a matter of moments for it to clumsily land and fall over in a sleepy stupor. Edgard made his way over, unbidden with the rope to tie it up.

Hmph. He’d outshine me. Hunting has been my life for over twenty years, dragoon. You’re not going to outshine me at my own game.

Banter with him came easily now that I knew there was nothing to it. I teased him, I gave him as good as I got. There were moments I rendered him speechless or left him a stammering fool. I enjoyed every minute of it. Turning the tables on Edgard might become my new favorite pass-time. 

While he finished binding the bi-fang, I tended to the wound on his shoulder. It wasn’t much more than a scrape, but it was best not to leave it to fester. He’d done well, all-in-all, so I couldn’t really discredit his efforts as a hunter. With a bit more seasoning, he could probably hold his own. I told him as much, though he only very begrudgingly accepted the compliment. Under any other circumstance, Edgard would preen and claim it as my undying love for him, but on the matter of his skill as a hunter and his contributions, he wouldn’t.

He was in my world now, I couldn’t tell if the thrill of the hunt sat well with him or not. Gods only know I enjoyed every minute of it.  I even told Edgard he could soak in the hot spring with me, I’m sure he was convinced I’d hit my head somewhere along the line. 

This was a really good way to end his time in Kugane. He goes on to Ishgard the day after tomorrow and said he expects to see me there soon. I’ve some things of my own to wrap up before I leave Kugane, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t threaten to bypass Ishgard altogether and just go straight to Tailfeather because he /expected/ me in Ishgard. 

I tasked him with sending the Mama Bird back to the client via some magical aetheryte-like crystals we’d been given.  Activate them on the birds and they would appear in cages where the client waited with payment, better than trying to haul them back by hand. Once done with that, Edgard planned to go back to Kugane and I headed to Yanxia to hire some locals to tend to the chicks until Mama and Papa come back.

All-in-all, it was a good night and a fun time. Sure, I have a few bumps and bruises, but I can’t name a hunt I’ve gone on and come out completely unscathed.  I either get scratched up by brush and trees, injured by the beast, or /something/.  It’s just part and parcel of the Hunt. It reminds me I’m /alive./

My friendship with Edgard, at least for my own part of it, feels as if a great weight has been taken off me and I don’t feel the need to be so guarded. He has no further motives than just having a moment’s distraction. Like me, he has issues of his own to deal with before he seriously considers anything with anyone, which I’m honestly glad to hear him say. Primarily that he /plans/ to deal with them. I could care less who he sleeps with.

It was a good day, it really was. I needed it after a week of indolence. It felt /so/ good to get back out there and do what I love. And the best part of it is that it’ll have garnered me enough reputation with the Veteran Centurio to get the information I need. 

One step closer... Mentions @therpperson​ for Edgard Beaumont

[believingispowerfulmagic]

“The Dark Legacy” Chapter 3: The Naming Ceremony

           People packed into Granny’s until every inch of tile was covered and there was not a seat to be found. Granny set out a buffet, bringing out tray after tray of food as everyone helped themselves and enjoyed the meal. She had also brought in her best bartenders, who were constantly pouring and handing out drinks. Music filled the diner though it was barely audible over the conversations and laughter filling the space as well.

           Regina smiled at the sight, taking in the pink decorations that covered the diner as well. Banners and streamers hung from the ceiling as some balloons that had come loose floated up there as well. Most were tied to chairs and other surfaces, all celebrating the newest member of the Mills-Locksley family.

           The guest of honor started to fuss in her arms, flailing her arms as she kicked her legs under the voluminous white dress Regina had put her in that morning. Her face started to turn red as she screwed her eyes shut, letting out a cry that her mother recognized as hunger. Feeling the first drops of milk, Regina withdrew from the main room and headed to one of Granny’s rooms in the bed and breakfast, which the older woman had said Regina could use if she needed to nurse or change a diaper or two during the party.

           Slipping into the room, Regina laid her daughter on the bed as she cried. “One moment, sweetheart,” she cooed as she opened up her dress. “Then you can suckle to your heart’s content.”

           Once her breast was freed, she sat down on the bed and picked her daughter up. The girl latched to her breast eagerly, swallowing gulps of milk as she curled against Regina. Her little hand splayed out over the breast and Regina held her close, relishing the connection between the two.

           The door opened as Robin entered, carrying Haven into the room. He had the arrow-pattern diaper bag slung over one shoulder as he bounced her a bit. Robin smiled at Regina, pointing at Haven. “Diaper change.”

           “Look at us—the Evil Queen and the legendary Robin Hood, covered in spit up and up to their elbows in dirty diapers,” she said though her tone lacked any bitterness or malice. She loved it.

           Robin chuckled, laying Haven down as he prepared to take off her dirty diaper. “They tend to leave these bits out of the stories, love,” he told her.

“Sadly,” she replied, running her finger along her daughter’s cheek. “These are the best parts.”

           “Agreed,” he said, wiping Haven up before placing a clean diaper on her. Once he was done, he threw out the dirty one and picked her up, kissing her cheek. “Right, sweetheart?”

           Haven giggled, cuddling against him as she babbled happily. He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, you understand.”

          The baby finished nursing and Regina wiped her mouth before burping her. She looked up at Robin. “Do you think you can juggle two while I fix my dress?”

           “I think so,’ he said, shifting Haven into one arm to hold the other out for their youngest. “I’ll take her.”

            Regina slid the back into his arms and he cradled her close. As she adjusted her dress, Regina watched Haven. She still didn’t seem to know what to make of the newest member of the family and hadn’t been too happy that her parents were now focused on the baby. Haven studied her with a frown, a little line appearing between her brows as she stared at her sister.

            “Do you want to say hi?” Robin asked Haven, holding the baby up a bit more. “Can you say hi to your sister?”

            Haven reached out, cooing as she patted her sister’s stomach. She smiled as Robin kissed her cheek. “Good girl.”

            With her dress in place, Regina smiled and held out her arms. “I’ll take one of them from you now. Doesn’t matter which.”

           He looked between the two girls before handing the baby back to her. Robin wrapped his other arm around Haven. “I’ll keep this little one with me for now. We can switch later.”

            “I don’t know if I want to let her go,” Regina said, smiling down at her baby daughter as she drifted off to sleep in her mother’s arms.

           “I remember when you said that about Haven,” he told her, bouncing their older daughter again.

           She smiled, remembering days spent cuddling Haven. “And how long did it take me to let go of her?”

           Robin’s smile dropped away and he looked at the girl in his arms. “Papa loves you...but he probably should’ve given you to Mama.”

           Haven let out another peal of laughter, pressing her hands against his mouth. Robin pretended to eat her fingers, smacking his lips on them as she laughed even more. It was a beautiful scene Regina considered herself blessed to witness.

           The door opened and Zelena popped her head in. She smiled at them, setting Regina on edge. “Oh good, this is where you are.”

          “What are you doing here?” Robin asked, stepping in front of Regina. He used his magic to send Haven to sit on the bed and she wrapped her arm around the girl to keep her safe.

           She glanced around Robin, noticing that Zelena remained in the doorway. Zelena kept her head high as she answered: “I just want to talk to my sister.”

           “Really?” he asked, sounding incredulous. “Or do you just want to try to get Haven, just like at the hospital?”

           “This isn’t like the hospital. And I did want to see my sister then too. Did you even tell her about that?” Zelena asked, almost snapping at him.

           Regina didn’t like her sister’s tone and scowled as she peeked around Robin. “He did. I was not pleased.”

           Zelena frowned. “You hate me that much that you wouldn’t want me there when you gave birth? You were there when I did. I could’ve supported you.”

           “I had plenty of support,” Regina replied, doubting those were really her sister’s intentions. “I had Robin and Mary Margaret.”

           “But I’m family,” Zelena protested.

           Regina rolled her eyes. “You only wanted to play the family card to get access to Haven. Robin told me that too.”

           She scowled as she tried to glimpse at the older infant, who was trying to crawl around Regina on the bed. “Haven is my daughter. You can’t keep her from me.”

           “We don’t want to keep her from you either,” Regina replied, rubbing the girl’s back. “But we don’t trust you not to steal her away.”

           “And how would I do that? There’s another curse on the town line and I can’t use magic because I have to wear this!” She held up her arm to reveal the black cuff on her wrist. “As you can see, I’m wearing it. I’m complying and yet you still won’t let me see her!”

           The baby in Regina’s arms began to fuss, curling closer to Regina as if trying to get away from the loud noise Zelena was making. Even Haven grew quiet, drawing closer to Regina for protection. “Zelena, you’re scaring the girls,” Regina scolded as best as she could while keeping her voice soft and soothing.

           Zelena’s scowl grew worse. “So now you’re saying I’m scary?”

           “I’m saying you need to lower your voice,” Regina clarified, trying to comfort her mewling daughter while Haven covered her ears. “It’s even louder to their developing ears.”

           Robin approached her. “I think you should leave. This is neither the time nor the place to discuss this.”

           “And when will that be, Robin? The twelfth of never?” Zelena asked, stepping closer to him. Her eyes blazed with her anger.

           Enough was enough. Regina let down her mental walls to allow Robin to read her mind. Let me handle her. You comfort the girls.

           No, he replied. His voice echoed throughout her mind. I don’t care if she has the cuff on. You’re still recovering from birth and your magic is unstable from the changes going on inside you. Right now, I’m stronger.

           Your points are valid but I’m not planning on fighting her. Please, trust me, she pleaded with him.

           He sighed, stepping back toward her. Robin took the baby from her arms and then picked up Haven as well. Leaning closer, he warned her: “Be careful.”

           She nodded, standing to approach her sister. “Zelena, Robin is right. This is neither the time nor the place. We are welcoming our daughter and sharing her name with our loved ones. This is a day for celebration, not for fighting and negotiation.”

           “You think I’m going to take a dismissal better from you than from your forest-smelling lover?” Zelena asked, sneering. “You think I will cower before you? Just go away?”

           Regina shook her head. “I’m not trying to dismiss you.”

           “Really? Then what are you trying to do?”

           “I am trying to tell you that while this is not the right time or place, we do need to talk about this. So I want to set a time and place to show you that we are acting in good faith,” Regina said, trying not to let her anger get the best of her.

           Zelena stared at her, stunned. “You what?”

           Regina sighed as she conjured up her datebook with a flick of her wrist. “You heard me, Zelena. So, let’s set a date and time.”

           “I want it to be as soon as possible,” Zelena replied. “I am off Tuesdays…”

           “Off? From what?” Regina asked, confused by what her sister meant.

           Zelena scowled. “My job. I got one. It’s not much. I work in a shop but it was the only place willing to hire me though they watch me like a hawk. We sell children’s clothes and accessories.”

           That surprised Regina but she also felt proud of her sister. She smiled. “That’s great, Zelena. We can meet on Tuesday to accommodate you.”

           “I can do around noon,” Zelena replied. “We can have lunch, if you don’t mind.”

           “We can meet at Granny’s then,” Regina said, pulling out a pen and writing the appointment into her calendar.

           Zelena’s eyes widened even more and hope filled her voice as she asked: “So this is really happening?”

           Regina nodded before adding: “But this is just to talk. Don’t think we’re going to hand Haven over to you because we’re not. Understand?”

           “I do,” Zelena replied, her eyes dimming in disappointment. She then glanced at Haven. “Could I hold her now? Just for a few minutes? Please?”

           Regina turned to Robin, knowing this was something they had to decide together. She had her reservations about letting her sister hold the little girl, not before they talked, but she also was still caught in the rush of post-pregnancy hormones. It made her a bit softer than usual and she was tempted to let her sister hold the girl. However, she knew Robin didn’t feel the same and didn’t want to make a decision he wasn’t comfortable with. They were a team and had to present a unified front to Zelena or else she would try to play one against the other to get what she wanted.

           I don’t feel comfortable letting her hold our girl. He met Regina’s eyes, holding Haven close. She snuggled against him happily.

           I know, she replied in her mind, but maybe we need to compromise as a sign of good faith. She will only hold her here, in our presence. We’ll be able to intervene before she tries anything.

           “Are you two talking telepathically?” Zelena asked. She gasped. “Can Robin read minds?”

           Regina gritted her teeth but Robin replied: “Only Regina’s. Soulmate connection and all that.”

           She narrowed her eyes at him. Why are you lying to her?

           I don’t want her to have another reason to be suspicious of us…but I also don’t want her to block me in case I do have to snoop around her mind.

           Regina knew he had a point so she nodded. Fair enough. So, what do you say to her holding Haven?

           Only for a few minutes and we watch her like a hawk.

           Deal. She reached out and picked up Haven, turning to Zelena. “Try anything and you can forget about that meeting on Tuesday.”

           “Understood,” Zelena replied, her eyes lighting up as she held out her arms for Haven. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

           Regina placed the girl in her arms and then pulled back. She reached behind her and felt Robin slid his hand into hers. They held onto each other, both no doubt feeling the same sick feeling as they watched Zelena hold Haven. She held her breath, counting down the seconds until she could take her daughter back.

           Robin squeezed her hand and she nodded, letting go of his to reach out for their daughter. “Okay, Zelena. I’ll take Haven now.”

           “Must you always be so literal?” Zelena asked, annoyed. She glanced down at Haven before looking back at Regina, pleading: “Can’t I have a bit longer with her? Please?”

           “We have a party to get back to,” Regina reminded her.

           Zelena gave one last longing look to Haven before handing her back to Regina. Her stomach started to settle once her daughter was back in her arms and Regina nuzzled Haven as she said: “Thank you.”

           “Hey, you two, everyone is wondering where you and the guest of honor went. Is everything okay?” Emma stepped into the room as she opened the door further, frowning when she noticed Zelena in the room. Her eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”

           “It’s okay, Emma,” Regina assured her.

           Zelena started to inch toward the door. “I’m guessing this is the part where I’m asked to leave, huh? You do have a party to go back to. One I’m not invited to.”

           Regina knew her sister was being manipulative and trying to guilt her for not inviting her to the party. Ordinarily, she would’ve just ignored it and let Zelena leave without getting her way. But there was an underlying sadness to Zelena’s tones that gave her pause, making her decide just this once to relent.

           “You can stay to hear our daughter’s name,” Regina replied, “but you stay with Emma. You try anything, she has to the right to throw you out. Got it?”

           Zelena nodded. “Thank you, Regina.”

           Regina turned to Robin, taking a deep breath. “Kid swap?” she asked him.

           “Sounds good,” he replied, easily passing their daughter to her as he took Haven from her. He held their older daughter close, kissing her head. “Hello there, sweetheart. You’re back with Daddy now.”

           He kissed her forehead as Regina turned around, finding Zelena scowling again. She took a deep breath, knowing she had no more time to try to manage her sister’s emotions. It was now all about the newest Mills-Locksley family member, even if she was asleep.

Continue reading on FFN, AO3 or Wattpad. 

[ourmanifestoisfun]

4x16 episode thoughts

I have thoughts! And also possibly a rather unpopular opinion at the conclusion.

Rebecca...no creeping on Dr Akopian!

“I’m retired from stalking but you never lose the skills”

Loving “The Bachelor” shade and that Dr Akopian’s advice is just, no catfights

Also really amused by the “big chairs” thing because, well, yeah. Coffee shops be like that sometimes.

I will forever be confused about how much money Nathaniel is meant to have access to

Shirts stay on LOL - but Skylar is so ripped though! Maybe just the arms.

Mm yeah, taking one dollar off breakfast specials does tend to make people bonkers

Paula’s new job is actually, gasp, A JOB! Must be an adjustment from Whitefeather

Also her and Scott have a four times-a-week marital sex quota? DAMN they’ve come far.

While the gurlgroup’s opinions are definitely just meant to reflect the fandom rather than what they probably would think, I’m still amused

Paula is probably a good example of ‘even when you try to give it up, those damn OTP feels come back’. Also, I can buy that she would be suspicious of Nathaniel re: infidelity

Heather flipping from Team Greg to Team Nathaniel just amuses me. Then again, she did also date Greg. 

Calling him Armie Hammer hot definitely made me laugh though. And I really hope there is a video of Nathaniel singing Etta Mae’s Lament just floating around out there, because that would be great.

Greg being a different actor in a “moral, political sense”, hah, that’s good

And now they’ve actually kicked off a betting pool. Whoops!

WHIJO SONG AND HE’S KILLING IT

God love those outfits. Valencia’s especially, damn

Damn Father Brah, also “priest school” callback!

They finally got Donna Lynn tapdancing! And Valencia’s pirouettes!

...oh they called back to the Group Mind!

God that was some awesome choreography.

Okay, they are lampshading Greg being the underdog already.

That is quite a cut of the number of times that Paula has said she doesn’t like Greg...but on the flip side, she has described him as sexy multiple times as well.

I like that they are trying to make a point that Josh isn’t trying to live in the past with this date, because I could see that as an easy write-off, but the fact that this is the well he returns to is still a little concerning for me.

Oh, they did bang in summer camp! Well, did stuff. I’ve always gone back and forth on that point.

God I am a sucker for stars, that was lovely

Valencia I hope your finances are okay after all of this

Noted: Paula works at Eastbriar Law Group

“So you don’t disappoint your son again” GREG NO BAD you still have not improved on your words.

Also yeah, being in Paula’s good graces is probably still a good thing, but she’s still not Rebecca. Still, that was a lovely gesture, Gregory.

“I’ve been hoping that the San Andreas fault will open up and swallow Nathaniel” aldkfjskdfjdk this was cute

But this is so awkward, with Josh living at the house. I hope that whatever next week’s decision is, that he chooses to move out on his own.

Nathaniel’s date location is gorgeous. Isn’t that the spot where Rachel and her husband got married? I can totally see why.

That is very clever about listening to the concert, Nathaniel, though I do love that his date went a little bit wrong. Going with the flow is part of your new mantra, dude.

GOD THAT WAS CUTE

...Though the fact that the aerial shots came from a drone is prettyyy creepy. Y’all are being kind of scary here.

I do love that Darryl bet on Nathaniel. “Papa’s got a winner!”/“Mama’s got a winner!”

WEIRD AL OMG!

WHERE’S THE BATHROOM REPRISE OH MY GODDDDD

poor Weird Al balloon guy. Do not shit in his balloon.

Rebecca, stop stalking Dr Akopian!

The Love’s a Game reprise is very bittersweet, because it’s too true: everyone is going to be hurt in some way, whether she chooses one or none of them. And THAT’S why people hate love polygons!

The thought of Nathaniel betting on himself really amused me

I like how the theme of games keeps coming up - they are supposed to be fun, they are not supposed to matter, even if you lose you're meant to just shake it off and go back to your everyday life...but those things aren’t always true. They can matter and they can hurt. None of these guys are treating these dates like a game, even if they use the lingo and the people around them are placing their bets, because at the end of the day, they all care.

“Death by lightning bolt. It’s quick, it’s painless. I do like the guy, after all.” - idk I just found this line really, really funny.

I hope Valencia didn’t lose too much money, poor baby.

Greg and Rebecca’s end banter is really sweet.

So...this may be an unpopular and even wrong opinion, but I think that Greg’s date puts him even with the other guys, rather than necessarily ahead of them. Greg being able to tell Rebecca that she is the love of his life is absolutely character development: he’s come full circle from his fuck-up at Jayma’s wedding back in season 1: even back then, Rebecca didn’t need trappings of true romance (at least not by the end of the night) to stay with him, she just needed him to tell her how he felt about her. Given her mental health at that point, there is a very good question as to how long that would have been enough before she tripped back into obsession with Josh, but it would have meant something.

However, I think I will be very annoyed if it is played as the “truest” romance. Neither Josh nor Nathaniel said anything like that admission on their dates because it isn’t something they are afraid of because they have already told Rebecca that they love her - Nathaniel by his own admission has done this several times. Instead, their dates highlighted the qualities about them where they have fun with Rebecca. And it isn’t that Rebecca doesn’t enjoy the dates - it’s the ticking clock at the end that is freaking her out, because love is not a game.

That doesn’t mean that there isn’t the set up for it: they have paralleled Josh and Nathaniel a lot this season in regards to Rebecca, which does make Greg the odd one out and they would be able to have him be the endgame with that justification that he’s different...but given that and the way this episode is structured, as well as the consistent lampshading of Greg as the underdog, that really feels like the straightforward solution and this show...doesn’t do that.

And look at the wording of how the guys tell Rebecca that they care:

Josh: “It’s always felt like someone is writing a story about us” Nathaniel: “I think we’re meant to be together.” Greg: “You know you’re the love of my life, right?”

All of these lines, even Greg’s, with his lowkey, domestic date, are about the incredible narrative importance of Rebecca in their lives, in the past, present, and future. For Josh, it’s how she’s kept returning to his life. For Nathaniel, she made him imagine a new life going forward. For Greg, it’s how just being with her has such an effect on him. And, frankly, those sentiments aren’t exclusive to each guy - you can apply each one to all of them. But that’s also why I felt the dates turned out more even keeled, despite the structure. And at this point, I really doubt they’ll try to pull the ‘oh it isn’t genuine love’ for any of them.

In addition, People have been making the point for some time that having her pick one of the guys might end up feeling weird, because it would turn the show into the “Rebecca & _____” story, instead of it being Rebecca’s story. The most likely scenario to me is still that Rebecca ends up alone/possibly with Jason, while the other guys are shown to have moved on with their lives. Everyone who has followed this blog will know that I very much have my bias, and I always will. This episode did not change that one whit. But beyond that, given the spoilers for next week, I think everyone will get a little fanservice with their favored guys, but that ultimately, she will not be choosing any of them. But I think they will all be happy, and that means a lot.

I love this show, guys, and I’m going to miss it.

[douxreviews]

Arrow - ‘My Name is Emiko Queen' Review

“I’m not Oliver Queen.”

While that quote is true in the strictest sense, Emiko Queen is doing a damn good imitation.  

From the cold open it was obvious The Powers That Be were going for an OG Arrow esthetic.  From the voiceover,  and (camera) shot selection to the little book of names, and a wounded Emiko going to Rene for help as Oliver went to Felicity.  The similarities didn’t end there.  She has just as many trust issues as Oliver and a stubbornness that up till now I had associated more with Moira’s side of the family.    

There is one profound difference between Emiko and her half-brother.  Where Oliver sought to bring justice to the people his father had wronged, Emiko wants justice on behalf of the wrongs done to her.  This is neither surprising nor unexpected.  Oliver grew up with every advantage.  His time in “hell”  taught him humility and gave him an appreciation for those without silver spoons.  Emiko grew up with little except the unconditional love of her mother.  Her loss would drive anyone to desire vengeance.  

That is what we are talking about here.  For all Emiko’s talk of justice, her war on crime in The Glades is not born out of benevolence.  She has systematically eliminated everyone who had a hand in her mother’s death as she searches for the person who pulled the trigger.  She can wrap it up in as much talk of the downtrodden as she likes.  Revenge is not justice.  I'm not judging.  I'm just stating facts.

That knowledge aside we are left with a host of unanswered questions.  Chief among them why would a woman abandoned and forgotten by her wealthy father imitate her half-brother?  Unlike Oliver, she’d always known about the existence of her half-sibling and the “other” Queen family.  And considering Oliver’s checkered past, he seems an odd choice for emulation.  And how?  I can see her learning to defend herself out of the necessity of growing up in a rough neighborhood.  But I can’t imagine archery being her weapon of choice.

Oliver must come to grips with the fact that the latest person to don the Hood does so out of more than just admiration.  Even after all the suspect deeds committed by Mama and Papa Queen, this is a new low.  To know his father severed all ties to his own daughter makes Oliver question all of his father’s motives.  Especially when he did so while knowingly raising another man’s daughter as his own.  Although I doubt that realization has hit Oliver yet.  Moira’s behavior is just as bad.  It’s not surprising she resented Robert’s other family.  But the idea she would go out of her way to ensure that Robert’s child was not only discarded like an old toy but deliberately kept poor is unbelievably spiteful.  So why is most of Oliver’s anger directed at his father even after Felicity and by extension the writers repeatedly lay the blame for Emiko’s abandonment at both Robert and Moira’s feet?

Speaking of marriage issues, what is up with Diggle?  After years of questioning Lyla’s morality, in large part due to her involvement with the “Ghost Initiative” AKA The Suicide Squad, he unilaterally decides to bring it back? And to force Lyla to defend a policy he knows she disagrees with is unlike him. Is his hatred of Diaz that intense or is his moral fiber fraying?  Does Dig really believe Diaz will flush out Dante.  And is that be before or after Oliver and Felicity find out that Diaz is alive and “free.”

While Diggle’s motives may not be clear, we clarified a few unresolved issues.  Deputy Director Bell is indeed subordinate to Lyla.  However, her superiors at The Pentagon have appointed him as their watchdog which not only explains his apparent autonomy but also the deference that both husband and wife have been giving him.  It also explained Ben Turner’s appearance in Slabside.  He saves Lyla’s life at the risk of getting his head blown off and she repays him by scrubbing The Suicide Squad and sending him to a Supermax prison. No wonder Ben was pissed.

That brings us to Rene, both present and future.  In the present, Emiko’s pursuit of her mother’s killers dovetails with his desire to protect his neighborhood and Lord knows Rene can relate to her anger issues.  Besides, partnering with her fills the void left by his former teammates and offers him the means to make a difference.  However, the fact Emiko is neither part of the flash-forwards nor mentioned as part of Oliver’s Mark of Four pact leads to the suspicion that their partnership is short-lived.   So it is not hard to draw a line from the current iteration of Rene adrift from his former teammates and frustrated by his inability to protect his home to the future Mayor bent on protecting The Glades at the expense of Star City at large.  What is still in question is the identity of future Rene’s mystery friend and murderer of Felicity (IMDB has him listed as Kevin Dale)?  Who does he represent and are they pulling Future Rene’s strings or do they just think they are?

To be honest, this episode left me with mixed feelings.  I appreciated the old-school feel.  And the explanation of Emiko’s abandonment gave more depth to the Queen family dynamics years after Robert and Moira’s deaths, and Walter’s departure.  Yet Oliver’s anger troubled me.  Not only because of its one-sidedness but because his anger on his own behalf felt petty and his anger on Emiko’s behalf felt unearned.  More important than that, the episode meant to introduce us to Emiko gave us more questions than answers and spent far more time on the people affected by her existence than on the woman herself.  

3 out of 5 quilt forts

Parting Thoughts:  

How is Emiko bankrolling this little enterprise?  Bribing mobsters ain’t cheap.

In that same vein, did Curtis borrow an A.R.G.U.S. van or does a tricked out van come with the secret lair and the Hood?

We won’t discuss the whole chain of custody issue of giving crime scene evidence to the wife of an SCPD deputy.  Can we say inadmissible in court, boys and girls?

Emiko threatened to put an arrow through Rene.  Oliver’s been there and done that.

It was a nice touch having Jamey Sheridan read Robert Queen’s letter.  It was bizarre that it was the only time my close captioning specified who was talking - wrongly stating it was Oliver.

I could find no mention of Talis Global in the world of DC Comics.  However, William Glenmorgan definitely exists. So does Santa Prisca.

Future Rene doesn’t have his scar.  Did The Glades Mayor get plastic surgery?

The Archer program wiped out crime in The Glades.   And somehow Zoe almost ruined everything when she got her hands on it.  Color me curious.  

And I meant to ask this in Unmasked.  When did the Queen Mansion get destroyed?  Was Isabel Rochev so vindictive that she burned the place to the ground?  

Quotes:  

Rene: “I guess stubbornness comes with the suit.”

Diaz: “Let me be real clear for the cheap seats.  Screw you.”

Felicity: “Some husbands bring their wives home flowers, and mine brings me blood from a crime scene.  They say romance is dead.”

Oliver: “My father was always very good at burying secrets.”

Felicity: “One more thing.” Oliver: “Just one more?”

Lyla: “Are you questioning my decision, Deputy Director?” Bell: “Of course not, Madam Director.  That kind of radical out-of-the-box approach is exactly the shot in the arm A.R.G.U.S. needs.  I’m sure the Pentagon will be very excited to hear about this.”

Emiko: “People can’t let you down if you don’t let them in.”

Rene: “At least as mayor, I’m actually getting things done, not wasting my time running around the city in a hockey mask pretending that it mattered.”

Lyla: “And here I thought I was the one in danger of becoming Amanda Waller.”

Curtis: “I can knock out the whole system – cameras, motion sensors, the whole shebang.  But it’s up to you guys to deal with that army of terminators yourselves.”

Emiko: “I’m still not looking for a team.” Rene: “Ok, fine.  Then how about a partner?”

Dale: “Star City is a cancer.  The only way to get rid of a cancer is to destroy it.”

Diaz: When I agreed to this deal, no one said anything about sticking a bomb in the back of my head."

Shari loves sci-fi, fantasy, supernatural, and anything with a cape.

[vixx-otps]

VIXX-OTPS’s second survey results

This survey took place from October 30, 2017 up until November 30, 2017

Most people who participated in this survey are this blog’s followers/people from Tumblr. Therefore, it would not be representative of everyone in the fandom. This is just a fun event within this blog~

This would be a really really long post (I mean it. It’s VERY LONG). It contains graphs, charts, and reasons why people like a pair the most or like them the least. Whatever you read beyond this are simply the results of what you guys have submitted

There were a total of 532 responses

To all of those who have participated or at least shared the link to the survey, thank you very very much~ ♥ I wish I could repay you more than just saying thank you >//<

1) Who is/are your VIXX Bias(es)?

(Responders were allowed to choose as many members as they want for this question)

If you want to compare the results from the last survey (2015), I made a bar graph for it:

As you can see, the results are pretty much the same except that there seems to be more fans for all of the members in 2017 than in 2015~ ♥

2.) If you were to choose ONLY ONE MOST favourite VIXX pair, which pair would it be?

(Responders were only allowed to PICK ONE pair for this question)

Again, to compare the results with the last survey’s results (2015), I’ve made a comparison bar graph:

3.) Which VIXX pair(s) do you like the MOST?

(Responders were allowed to pick as many pairs as they want for this question)

The results are a little bit similar to that of the second question, isn’t? o - o Anyway, here is a comparison from 2015′s survey~

4.) If you were to choose ONLY ONE LEAST favourite VIXX pair, which pair would it be?

(Responders were only allowed to PICK ONE pair for this question)

This is kind of different from what I expected and I’ll show you why:

You see what I mean? o - o!!! A huge difference...

5.) Which VIXX pair(s) do you like the LEAST?

(Responders were allowed to pick as many pairs as they want for this question)

The results are somewhat different from the last question >< By the way, this is a new question that I’ve added for this survey so I have no results to compare it with...

6.) How would you rank the VIXX pairs from:

I like them together very much / They are my most favourite

I like them just fine / I don’t mind them

I don’t like them but I don’t dislike them either

I don’t pay much attention to them / I do not see them interact enough

I dislike them / I do not see any chemistry

(I’ve made bar graphs for each ranking but if you scroll down some more, I’ve made charts for each pair~)

Reasons why you guys like the pairs the MOST or the LEAST:

1. N/Leo: Why do you like N/Leo the MOST?

Just because / It just is

Neo is life / Seeing them together gives me so much fuzzies and the world is right again / Cannot be put into words / They are so damn perfect!

Sexy couple

Parent line / Mom and Dad of VIXX / The mom and dad of VIXX / They’re like the mom and dad of VIXX and I think it’s adorable / They are the real definition of VIXX’s parents / Parents are to be loved together / Parents / They are like a married couple. N is the wife seeking attention from her shy awkward husband Leo / Mom and dad of the group! / Because mum and dad! / The parents of VIXX who would always be lifelong friends / Because they act like the parents of 4 hyper kids and it warms my heart to see them call VIXX “kids” / The mother and father of the group / Mom and Dad of the group / They’re like the mom and dad of the group / Parents…?

Mutual support, care and trust / They support each other / Take care of each other really well / Understand and support each other a lot / They’re a great support system for each other / They adore and take good care of each other / It used to be more like Leo relying on N to help him overcome his shyness and to help him express himself but now, it’s more of a mutual reliance on each other. Leo relies on N as their leader and N relies on Leo for support as the other oldest member, therefore making decisions for the group and giving advice and care to the other members

N takes care of Leo / Love how N helped Leo out of his shell / N brought Leo out of his shell / Because N has always helped Leo

They have great chemistry together / Their dynamic is really interesting to observe / They are so perfectly matched / They are so wholesome together / They complement each other well / They balance each other / I enjoy their dynamic / Their relationship / Their personalities balance each other so well / Their friendship is amazing

Cute / Adorable together / They’re just so cute! / They look so cute! / Too fucking cute / They are both just so precious / Hella cute / Look extra cute together

Love how N sometimes manhandles Leo / Love how N can control Leo and Leo listens to N even though Leo is not the type to follow someone else

There’s something about their friendship that makes me adore them very much / They’re so close / All of VIXX are close but there’s something about the 90 line / Since the beginning, Leo and N have been very close.

The way they behave towards each other / Love their interactions / Their interactions are the best in my opinion / They have a way of speaking without words

They are my top 2 biases

They are lifelong friends / Lifelong friends / Because they are lifelong friends / Lifelong friend! / Lifelong friends so close and comfortable with each other / Lifelong friends

Loud and energetic with quiet and cuddly is my secret favourite / They have a love&hate relationship / The classic hate-love dynamic I’m weak for / Complete opposites but love each other very much / Loud and soft / Because they are opposites

Love the way Leo always reacts badly to N’s skinship but seeks it sometimes / Leo calls N when he wants something / Leo shows affection towards N in a cute way

The dynamic that they had in their early debut days was something I found compelling and has stuck with me to now / The first pair I had in the fandom so they have a special place in my heart / Even though it hasn’t been seen as much these days as the other pairs, I still believe in Mama Cha and Papa Leo of the VIXX Family / They were the first ones that I fell in love with

It’s a classic

They are the eldest in the group

N/Leo: Why do you like N/Leo the LEAST?

Do I still need to answer this after 4 years?

Less not liking and more bored of oversaturation / A little overrated / Too typical / It’s way way overdone and fandom cliches abound / I see it everywhere

Actually liked the pair when people remember that: a) for all his pestering, N does let Leo be Leo, b) N himself is also an introvert

I don’t like the “mom & dad” concept / It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just people force N into this mother role and I’m like, you can take care of people without being a mother / I don’t like how N always has to be the “mom” or whatever like, people always feminize him and it always comes off as degrading to N

I feel that they work much better as friends

Even though they get on well, I think that they should be paired with someone who seems to be their opposite

I keep finding them when I look for another pair / Interferes with my favourite pair

People trying to force me to like it which kind of ruined the pair for me / Shippers love to shove it down your throat

Doesn’t necessarily see them as a pair that interests me

Leo was really mean to N a lot earlier in the career and I just didn’t like it

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on N/Leo:

2. N/Ken: Why do you like N/Ken the MOST?

They make each other laugh

They have fun together

They are really affectionate with each other

They’re just two soft floofs who want the other members to love them so they’re perfect for each other / N is clingy af and Ken is so used to getting all the affection of the group / Absolute dorks around each other / N always wants to be near Ken, like holding his hand or poking him

They are supportive of each other

The cutest dynamics

When N smiles because of Ken, it just seems so genuine and pure / N just always has so much fun with Ken / N dotes on Ken and Ken looks up to N

They stare at each other like they’re the sun or something equally cheesy

They’re very comfortable around each other

They’re the ridiculous ahjumma and diva line

N/Ken: Why do you like N/Ken the LEAST?

I don’t see content for it

I don’t pay much attention to them / I have paid zero attention to them

I think I just like them better when they’re platonically bickering at one another / They’re both too loud, combined they would cause chaos / Sometimes it seems like N does not have much patience for Ken

I chose randomly / I HAD NO CHOICE

Neither N nor Ken are my favourite

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on N/Ken:

3. N/Ravi: Why do you like N/Ravi the MOST?

They’ve been close from the start /

I love their dynamic / I really like their chemistry whenever they are paired together for anything / they are close and complement each other

They always turn up for each other’s solo activities

I like reading about N being taken care of by his members. Ravi has the biggest tendency to do that

N has mom vibes and Ravi has dad vibes and together they have these boring parent vibes

Because I like N with everyone and want Ravi for myself so I’m giving him to N. Very generous of me, isn’t it?

I have something for dancing, I suppose? Their chemistry when they dance is great

Leader and deputy, steel and marshmallow

N/Ravi: Why do you like N/Ravi the LEAST?

I don’t know the reason why I chose them / No reason in particular / Answer was required / I had to choose a pair

I don’t pay much attention to them / I just don’t really see it. It’s more like Mama Cha supporting his son

It’s not my cup of tea

It was cute, but it’s starting to die

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on N/Ravi:

4. N/Hongbin: Why do you like N/Hongbin the MOST?

Hongbin rejects N’s affection in public, but I know that he is whipped for N. I love their friendship so much / Hongbin gets a lot of crap because of how he approaches affection (towards N or anyone at all), but if you know about his personality, you can easily see how much he cares for N / Hongbin is so low-key protective of N / They make me happy, especially those rare occasions when Hongbin shows his love for N / Love how Hongbin tries to hide his love for N, but they have so many sweet moments and so many HOT moments

I love their love/hate relationship / Love the cute banter (Hongbin is a tsundere) / Tom and Jerry ftw / The push and pull is awesome

I think of them more platonically than anything, but I enjoy their dynamic / Enjoy watching their interactions

N babies Hongbin / I like that N is a mom to Hongbin and Hongbin totally acts like a defiant son

Love that they mean the world to each other / They are soulmates

The sass-fest is just legendary

N/Hongbin: Why do you like N/Hongbin the LEAST?

They seem awkward and uncomfortable around each other (more on Hongbin’s side) / they don’t fit well together sometimes

I feel like N and Hongbin aren’t portrayed very well as a couple

Hongbin is always teasing N and I prefer seeing N being loved / I don’t like how Hongbin tries to deny his feelings for N when the camera is on them / Hongbin (at least in the beginning) hated everything to do with N

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on N/Hongbin:

5. N/Hyuk: Why do you like N/Hyuk the MOST?

Love their dynamic

On camera, Hyuk pushes N away, but off camera, he’s such a dependable person and obviously respects and cares for N / The push and pull is so cute

Love how N complains that Hyuk doesn’t act like a maknae

Love how N beats the crap out of Hyuk if he made a comment about N / Hyuk being that lil’ shit of a maknae and N hitting him in response. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is

They are my favourite members

It’s easy to see how genuinely N cares about Hyuk and how happy he makes him

Their interactions are so sweet

Chasang is life

N/Hyuk: Why do you like N/Hyuk the LEAST?

Hyuk always ignores N when he tries to be affectionate and acts like he doesn’t want to be paired with him and it’s annoying / I love Hyuk but why does he have to be a little devil all the time. I just wish we could see more soft Hyuk / I don’t like the way Hyuk bullies N

Their relationship feels too much like a parent and child for me / I can’t really see them as a couple / I feel like N treats Hyuk like a little brother so it’s strange to see them in a romantic way / They seem to have more of an older brother-little brother relationship / Mom N / I see it like a young brother/son and older brother/mother and it feels kinda weird, I don’t know / I don’t think their dynamics are that strong, just good friends / N is Hyuk’s mother and it just feels so wrong, he practically raised him / Feels weird, like mother and son / I just can’t see them together romantically / Their relationship seems more like relatives, with N being the trying-too-hard uncle and Hyuk being the embarrassed nephew / Too parent and child

I see them interact the least

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on N/Hyuk:

6. Leo/Ken: Why do you like Leo/Ken the MOST?

Best chemistry / They complement each other’s personalities well

Cute / Sweet and cute / Because they are too cute

Leo is head over heels for Ken

Ken had brought out the cutie in Leo

Their subtle way of supporting and caring for each other makes me so soft

They are both my ultimate biases

They are like real brothers

Love the puppy-kitty couple / Opposites / They’re like black and white contrasting yet they are harmonious / They’re complete opposites but they work so well together / Their opposite personalities

Leo/Ken: Why do you like Leo/Ken the LEAST?

I don’t pay a lot of attention to them / I tend to focus on other pairs more / Just don’t think much about them / Haven’t seen a lot of interactions with them off-stage

The shippers. I had quite a lot of annoying encounters with their shippers. I love them but the fans just irk me

I feel like they work together as just friends / Just can’t see them together / I never really thought about putting them together

I had to choose one / No idea… / I just had to choose one

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Leo/Ken:

7. Leo/Ravi: Why do you like Leo/Ravi the MOST?

They have great chemistry / They complement each other well / Their dynamic is really interesting / Their chemistry on and off stage / They have chemistry / Their chemistry / They just seem to fit together well

They seem to care about each other very much / They rely on each other / They understand each other quite well / They’re always quietly supporting each other / I feel like they reciprocate each other’s affection the most

Do I need to fill this in? / [Ravi voice] We started from the bottom but we just do it now / They make my kokoro go doki-doki and dokun-dokun / Because Wontaek is love / LR is life

These two are so quiet and awkward and it’s completely different when they’re performing. It’s astonishing / They are the awkward kids, and since LR debuted, they just started being dumb and more like each other and giggly. / LR did wonders with bringing Leo out of his shell and show a side of him that I can’t say I don’t love, but that is driving me crazy / They’re a relationship that I’ve seen growing since their rookie days. It just seems that with Ravi, Leo really comes out of his shell more than usual

They are so legit. So much evidence / LR is real or out lmfao / They’re really sailing their own ship

Extrovert-Introvert / Their opposite chemistry works very well with each other / I like how their opposite personalities work together to bring out the best in each other / They contrast each other very well / Awesome and opposite vibes / Opposites attract / Because of the different personalities that they carry

Despite them being so popular now, it’s still the little things between that keeps me so happy with them, as it always has / Just how easy they are with each other / Ravi is quite chill with Leo and doesn’t really make him have to express himself if he doesn’t feel like it, often speaking louder to attract attention to himself and save Leo from further embarrassment. This happens both during VIXX as whole and LR promotions. Even though Leo was the leader, Ravi did take the lead quite a bit. / Ever since predebut or MyDol, Ravi seems to be the one who Leo seems most comfortable around with and Ravi has consistently tried to make sure to include Leo and bring him into the conversation, but also protect Leo when he would rather stay quiet /

They’re my biases / They were the first two people I ever memorized in the group. I saw how they interacted and totally liked them from then / My first VIXX pair

VIXX LR / Whisper MV / Two words: Beautiful Liar / LR is a blessing / Because it’s an official pair from Jellyfish. Check VIXX LR MVs for proof / When Whisper came out, I discovered that they were a sub-unit and started liking them from then / Because of VIXX LR / During LR promotions, they seem at their happiest / *coughs* VIXX LR

Their interactions are the cutest to me / They’re really cute together. / Their skinship is soft and natural. They don’t cling to each other too much and is sweet / Sometimes their skinship is suddenly really all over the place / Mostly cute. Really really cute. Soft. Protect / They’re so cute / Skinship

They are dorks / Silly boys acting cool

They are sexy / Their tension / They gay. Very very gay / Their sub-unit’s MVs make me want to write gay fanfiction too much / They’re really sexy together / Hah… GAYYYYY / The pair that I’ve written the most about / That one VLive where it looked like Leo was seconds away from kissing Ravi if N hadn’t said anything

Hamster and owner

They are the composing pair. Ravi really goes far and beyond to bring the best out of Leo, changing melodies over and over again / Ravi loves Leo’s high notes / They’re both artistically similar, as their sub-unit keeps hinting

Leo is fond of Ravi’s extra self and finds him funny / I love seeing Leo smile because of Ravi / Like how Ravi makes Leo laugh a lot / Leo always smiles the brightest when looking at or speaking to Ravi

They love animals

Diamond bracelets / The matching bracelets that Leo felt the need to inform us that Ravi bought for him and that they both wear regularly + including in the Whisper MV

Leo/Ravi: Why do you like Leo/Ravi the LEAST?

I am a fan of another pair / Ravi be cheating! / It ruins other favourite pairs

Leo’s and Ravi’s personalities are a complete 360 of each other’s and I don’t think it would fit well / They are too different

Annoying fans / I hate their shippers. I hate when people ship them like lovers when they are close like brothers

Overrated / Never understood the hype

Completely platonic / I see them as brothers too much so I can’t imagine them romantically

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Leo/Ravi:

8. Leo/Hongbin: Why do you like Leo/Hongbin the MOST?

They’re my biases

Shy bebes / They’re introverted

So cute / They’re cute as heck

Leo is so soft for Hongbin and I love it so much / Love how Leo always cuddles up to Hongbin because he’s very comfortable in his presence and love how Hongbin lets him / Leo’s soft spot (obsession??) for Hongbin is soft and pure / Leo adores Hongbin the most / I think Leo has such a soft spot for Hongbin and it’s the cutest thing / Hongbin can make Leo smile, which is a big deal for him

Forever playful together

Those moments where they’re just quiet and enjoy each other’s company

It started with that fart episode on MTV diary where N was gathering everyone and then Leo and Hongbin were watching stuff together

I think they’re beautiful together

Lil petty shits who like to judge people for their own amusement

I really love their friendship / They’re really good friends

Because Leo mentioned that Hongbin used to be more rambunctious and rebellious during his trainee days and often skipped his training sessions, but Leo taught him well and helped him, which I think is cute

Leo/Hongbin: Why do you like Leo/Hongbin the LEAST?

I could not skip the question and chose one with my eyes closed / Had to choose one / I just had to pick one

Just never took a liking for it

The shippers are something else

I don’t see them interact that much but maybe that’s just me / I feel like I don’t see them together too often / I don’t see much of them on my dashboard

Tsundere + Savage = that’s no no~

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Leo/Hongbin:

9. Leo/Hyuk: Why do you like Leo/Hyuk the MOST?

The manhandling / How Hyuk always bullies Leo

I think they are just so cute together / Because they look so cute together

I like that they are both so different but at the same time compatible / They show their affections differently to one another

They’re my two favourite members

I like their dynamic

Like a true sibling relationship

Like how their relationship has progressed

I find Leo doing to Hyuk what N does to Leo and it’s cute

Leo/Hyuk: Why do you like Leo/Hyuk the LEAST?

I don’t like that Hyuk bullies Leo / I don’t like how they’re mostly portrayed as Hyuk being the dominant one, always teasing poor Leo

I personally don’t see them interact much / I don’t see very much content of these two so I never developed a liking for the pair

Didn’t read any fics about them to boost my ideas about them

I just don’t see it

Weird

I’m sticking to my three favourite pairs, I don’t really cross-ship

I just feel like their personalities are very different from each other

They don’t click as much as an OTP to me / I don’t vibe with it

They just seem like father and son to me

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Leo/Hyuk:

10. Ken/Ravi: Why do you like Ken/Ravi the MOST?

They ship themselves / They practically hang off of each other 24/7

Because it’s so obvious how crazy Ravi is about Ken? Can anyone even deny it at this point? / Ravi is so warm for Ken / Ravi touching Ken and calling him cute / The way Ravi clings to Ken is just… Hehehe / Ravi loves Ken so much and Ken loves being loved / The way Ravi fanboys over Ken all the time is like, the most precious thing I’ve ever seen

They are cute together / They just always seem so cute together / Very cute and pure / They’re the cutest and purest / I think they’re really cute

Love how close they are to each other / They’re so fond of each other / Giggly and loveable pair / So sweet, so amazing / Their chemistry is just so good / They get along with each other really well / They kind of remind me of kids, in the pure and sweet sense, when they’re together / They’re very affectionate and supportive or they look out for each other — that’s the relationship that I want with my friends or boyfriend / Because of how comfortable and affectionate they are with each other / Their friendship in general is super adorable / I love their dynamics / I find their interactions fun and sweet /

They’re lovers, jk jk / The Rose lyrics have me convinced they’re probably secretly dating / They’re actually married / They honestly look like a real couple to me sometimes / JUST LOOK AT THEM OH MY GADDD / Boyfriends legit / THEY’RE SO IN LOVE ALREADY HOW CAN I NOT LOVE THEM. IMAGINE KEN. WITH RAVI. FIGHTING FOR ATTENTION. OVER BUTT. GOOD CONCEPT.

Their skinship / The way they look at each other makes me cry, it’s so sweet and loving / I love how clingy they are / They show so much love and happiness but still play around with each other / You can always tell how much they mean to each other by the looks they give / They’re always giggling and having a happy time together / Their skinship!

Too soft for words / They’re soft

They’re very silly together

They would make a good sub-unit

I love my sons

Ken/Ravi: Why do you like Ken/Ravi the LEAST?

Because of the shippers. They started becoming popular and they kept talking about them and it kind of annoyed me. / I can’t stand the shippers. They make everything about them all the time and it’s so annoying

I don’t find it as interesting / Just a preference / Just don’t think about them all that much / Dynamic that I’ve spent the least time invested in / Just don’t care all that much

They bring out the annoying in each other

I just picked one / I was forced to pick an answer

I’ve seen it around too much / They’re overrated

Ravi treats Ken exactly the way he treats Butt, but people see a pair. I don’t get it.

Too many moments that I hope the other pairs had that much too / They give me diabetes / They just scream fanservice / Too much skinship

I see it more like a brother-brother relationship

They haven’t grown and changed. They’ve pretty much always been the same lovebirds

Feels too one-sided on Ravi’s part

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Ken/Ravi:

11. Ken/Hongbin: Why do you like Ken/Hongbin the MOST?

They are the brightest and funniest pairing to me

Ken/Hongbin: Why do you like Ken/Hongbin the LEAST?

I feel my IQ lowering when they’re together

They just don’t interest me together / Not much chemistry / I don’t really notice them together / I never really see them interact that much / I don’t know, I just don’t see them together / They click the least to me / Don’t seem to interact a lot / Not my favourite dynamic / There’s never enough of it / I don’t see any chemistry for them other than platonic / I haven’t really seen much content from them / I don’t really ever think about them as a pair / I haven’t see much about this pair

Their personalities seem like real opposites / Have little in common / They just seem like an odd match / They look awkward

They have more of a only-friends vibe to me

I had to choose one / Had no choice

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Ken/Hongbin:

12. Ken/Hyuk: Why do you like Ken/Hyuk the MOST?

Fun dynamics! Fun dynamics everywhere! / They’re the funniest together

Because one is the real maknae and the other is a fake maknae, I think it’s cute

They’re perfect

Immortals fic / The Immortals fanfic

They’re adorable together / They just seem soft and compatible / The cutest together / They are the cutest boys ever

They’re a mess, but a good mess

They actually have many genuine moments together (a.k.a not just purely fanservice)

They are also so talented and have amazing visuals

Ken/Hyuk: Why do you like Ken/Hyuk the LEAST?

I had to choose an answer / I had to choose / An answer was required / I closed my eyes and chose / I don’t know / Had to pick an answer

As an OTP, they don’t grab my attention / They just don’t seem super ship-y / They don’t interact as much / Haven’t seen much from them

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Ken/Hyuk:

13. Ravi/Hongbin: Why do you like Ravi/Hongbin the MOST?

Their overall friendship is really admirable

Despite seeming like polar opposites, they’re actually super close to one another and I think it’s so cute / They have really contrasted appearances and interests but they look really good with each other

They’re so cute when they work together

They act like those womb-friends

Ravi/Hongbin: Why do you like Ravi/Hongbin the LEAST?

A weird pairing

I don’t know

I don’t really see a match here

I haven’t seen many gifsets or I’m just not paying enough attention

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Ravi/Hongbin:

14. Ravi/Hyuk: Why do you like Ravi/Hyuk the MOST?

Their moments are so rare, yet they’re so beautiful

Roomates!

I think their dynamic is very fun

Ravi/Hyuk: Why do you like Ravi/Hyuk the LEAST?

They give more brotherly feels than a pair sort of feel

I don’t see a lot of them

They just kinda don’t fit in my head, I don’t know / Just don’t really see anything there / Never appealed to me / Just don’t have any memorable things with the pair at the moment / I’ve just never seen anything related to it

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Ravi/Hyuk:

15. Hongbin/Hyuk: Why do you like Hongbin/Hyuk the MOST?

They’re partners in crime / I love that they’re two mischievous kids together with the most contagious smiles and laughter, they’ve never failed to bring a smile to my face / They are also the demons of the group that harass the others together / Evil duo / Best evil duo ever / Evil maknaes. They make me smile

They’re often joking around, but they genuinely care for each other and get along very well / I love their sense of humour despite them being two little devils to their hyungs / They are idiots and that makes me happy

They have such a great relationship with each other / Their interactions are always so pure / Their chemistry is honestly the best / They secretly care about each other

They’ve grown so much since MyDol

There’s no need to be obvious

Evil gaming geniuses

They look nice together / They seem super fun

They’re cute

Hongbin/Hyuk: Why do you like Hongbin/Hyuk the LEAST?

They seem like brothers in my eyes

It makes me go >:^(

I’m not aware of their interactions

And here is the chart for the 6th question. It’s the same except that it focuses on Hongbin/Hyuk:

AND THAT’S IT~ AGAIN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED ^^

[youniversify]

WEEK 6...?

"To meet this one in all the lifetimes I will be given. In every life, in every chance, in every small opportunity that I will have—let the earth and heavens move so I can see you, meet you, and if it's not too much to ask Fate, I hope I get to love you." - writingcap

In the recent turn of events, this entry is currently optional. To be honest, I was slightly disappointed because I already loaded some possible topics in the entries. Result? This incoherent and self-indulgent rants about the topics I couldn't let go of. Some unfinished. Mostly drabbles because I spitball a lot and my attention span for it barely holds enough—I switch frequently. 

So I made this prompt of two people finding each other over and over again in even in different universes and in different lifetimes because they're soulmates out of whim because my head was swimming with thoughts of this so I manifested into writing it. Although I doubt I'll continue it given that it's farfetched to become a music video (maybe at the greatest, only a school project film), my friends still hyped it. They're wonderful. 

MV IDEA (Ben&Ben's "Araw-Araw")

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Don't laugh."

"Wala ka pa ngang sinasabi."

"Iiih kasi, my tanong is serious!"

"Ge pagbibigyan kita."

"Naniniwala ka ba sa soulmates?"

Umaga na sa ating duyan 'Wag nang mawawala

"...Like yung multiverse theory eme?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Oo naman."

"Really?"

"Oo ngaaaa. Ang sakin lang, hindi lahat tayo may ganun. May pwedeng dalawa lang sila, may ibang tatlo. Yung iba romantic, iba platonic."

"Ay. Seryoso siya."

"Gago eh malamang seryoso tanong mo 'di ba?"

"'To naman, 'di mabiro. Pero sa tingin mo magkikita sila sa lahat ng universe na 'yun?"

Umaga na sa ating duyan Magmamahal, oh, mahiwaga

-- [CUT TO:]

Their eyes widened. But it followed a retracted confused pair of eyebrows, touch of an unfamiliar thread being prepared. They forget they're not the only ones in the room when someone else interrupts.

"Magkakilala kayo?"

— Parang?                                 — Yes?

The studio lights flicker with anticipation, but neither of them say anything.

[intro instrumental]

Action! The two pretend to bump into each other, the collision of shoulders (albeit choreographed) emitting an unraveling of the thread. Growing familiarity.

They look into each other's eyes, and in them are emotions of...

-- [CUT TO:]

...hatred, envy. Self, why did you agree on letting this damn childhood friend acquaintance stay in their own house again?

Matang magkakilala

"Hanggang ngayon nambabangga ka parin?"

Pota, family friends nga pala magulang namin.

--

Two strangers meet for the first time. "Magkakilala kayo?" And they lose the words they're finding to say.

--

https://youtu.be/5uQLDRlp0xI

I'm actually quite glad I put off watching this when it first released during the week of our Preliminary Examinations, because now I get to marvel at the ingenuity. Extraordinary talent pulsing through the screen. Silent films aren't my cup of tea so going into it, I was doubtful. After watching, I shouldn't have doubted the expression of the 19-year-old dancer and choreographer Sean Lew who wrote, directed, and produced this. I realized I shouldn't be so wary of art that I don't understand fully or those of non-linear stories, seeing other fans' reactions of (albeit it's in our human nature to) breaking down and comprehending the meaning of the scenes. Ika nga, "art—you don't have to understand everything. Mas mahalaga yung nararamdaman mo." And I felt pain, anxiety, turmoil, misery, longing, fear, hope, tranquility, peace, and love. I've been a fan of him since 2018 when I discovered them competing in World of Dance and his partnership with Kaycee Rice—which coincidentally enough, is also the time he started creating this dance film. The juxtaposition of words in each Scene: Peace & War, Harmony & Noise, Give & Take, Hopes & Doubts, Fear & Acceptance; and the choice of music deliberately fit to the abovementioned concepts: Billie Eilish's ocean eyes, Panic! at the Disco's High Hopes, Dermot Kennedy's Glory, etc. And for an experimental film, it has a clear resolution! All of the main character's pursuits of piecing together the puzzle throughout his (what seems to be a coming-of-age) journey actually gives the audience the full picture. He's able to reunite with the one he loves, and though frightened by the possibility of that love leaving again by pushing her away, they eventually get to each other's heads and settle. 

I've been reading audience feedback about how they think it's badass for a character to smoke. Squinting, I read more and learned that herbal cigarettes are what actors use during shooting. Then relieved, I searched deeper. Unfortunately I found out that even though herbal cigs are marketed as safer, they produce tar which is an active agent for causing cancer in regular cigarettes. So, ekis parin sakin if one day I produce any screenwork to have my actors use them. No smokers as characters I guess. I still have to think in special cases though, like if it's more of a plot device than a character stylistic choice. 

So I tried to watch Big Bang Theory with a friend and I just found myself conflicted. Sure, I could make a video analysis essay about misogyny played for laughs and other numerous problematic comedic tropes used throughout the series, but what caught my eye in particular is the character Sheldon Cooper Ph.D., Sc.D. Played by the brilliant Jim Parsons, he's presented as the autistic-coded (that is, not explicitly confirmed by the showrunners nor canonically diagnosed) nerd scientist whose ego is too inflated to make room for tact. Which leads me to my main point: why are stereotypically intelligent fictional characters have low emotional quotient (EQ)? You'd suppose some writers have done research and stumbled upon the IQs and EQs of people. No. Instead, they completely disregard that a person with high regard for the technical sciences wouldn't be kind in the same breath. Realistically, they would value the social sciences because these are what built civilization in the first place and have successfully created and bridged human connection. They would take to heart the value of Psychology as well! 

I discovered this podcast from the online fandom of Gaya sa Pelikula. Remember when I said they're critical thinkers? Well, one of the podcast's hosts sent this article on Parasocial Interaction to one of the lead actors himself. He then replied, grateful, with keeping himself in check as to how he views Karl.     

He did admit in a question from Direk Takes exclusive paid episode that he sometimes doesn't "banlaw" his character Karl Almasen. Banlaw in film context is the act of washing out one's own character by personality traits, attitudes, behavior, and perspective. Common reasons are because (1) playing morally tainted characters can personally affect your mental health, and (2) blurring the lines between that and other types of dangerous characters (abusers, rapists, murderers) could start to take a toll on you and make you fall into the trap of, "Huh. Maybe my character has justifiable points for genocide." In line with this, he says he doesn't banlaw because Karl is inherently this innocent, wide-eyed freshman who sees the good in everyone without malice—says he could use some of that in his real life.     

And that's so valid! He will make you kinder. But because of the fan-suggested article, he took a step back and reevaluated if there should still be a line drawn between him and Karl. In the podcast, we find the answer: Yes. Although Parasocial Interaction is defined as the audience forming a psychological close relationship with those of media personalities, it can still be redefined in the context of the media personality forming a psychological close relationship with his own formed character that may be lead to the constant interaction with his fans, myself included. "Gaya sa Payaso," the aforementioned podcast, tackles this conflict head on as the two main hosts break down situations and discern acceptability. It's an intelligent listen. I am reminded to still create distance between myself and the celebrity, no matter how close we could get. 

https://open.spotify.com/show/7mg92j83PtjmbNnQNWVr8x?si=GMEbSF9TQryQANV3xf6Xqw

Full circle moment: after watching an amazing 3-hour interview about the trials and tribulation of sports (specifically cheer), at 1 am I told Paolo that I wrote about him in my Understanding the Self entries. He responded.

A sight to see: mama and papa sitting outside at a table, eating with my sister. I hand over a slice of chocolate cake from Red Ribbon. She takes it with a full smile, and after I've stood there gaping, she shares a laugh with papa. Though the speakers blare in the garage, the noise is drowned out. 

Mundane. 

Yet unfamiliar. 

Do you ever see your parents' mortality hang over their head? Today, I did.

“Makikiisa tayo sa rebolusyong atin. Uuwi’t uuwian.” - Atria Pacaña

[sesl2020]

The Details: are they God’s or the Devil’s?

I don’t care; I just love them.

Pick Stitching

Suit Linings

Interior Pockets

Flat Piping

Contrast Collars

and OMG the feel of the fabric.

In 2007 while working at Harry Rosen as Visual Coordinator for Alberta, the new spring season of Etro arrived. I almost cried. The jackets were so beautiful. Colourful mix-matched tweeds, luscious paisley satin linings and contrast lapels to die for. The guys thought I was crazy and not for the first time. (I had recently lost almost 100 lbs with Jenny Craig and was not quite sane) But…

Please excuse me while I rip off my shirt. I’m having a Chinook. This talk of menswear is making me hot. Yes ZZTop, there really is nothing sexier than a well-dressed man. Not necessarily expensive, just well. In the late 70’s/ early 80’s young men made a point of being grubby. Not even cool, like grunge, just grubby and unkempt with the absence of style. It was supposed to be Macho. Or Poetic. Hmmmm. Yes, this is the way I tell a story. Bare with me. He-Heh.

…But, the fresh new offerings reaffirmed my love of all aspects menswear. Back in the day, the mid 80’s, I remember the guys at Jack Fraser Menswear in Winnipeg where I was the Regional Display person (or Displaced Person as the called me)  teasing me at my excitement over a new box of ties. Not just any ties. New Bosa silk paisley ties. Yes, it’s supposed to sound like Boss. I got so sick of polyester neats and stripes. It was like Christmas when something new came in to go with all the pink dress shirts. Oh the 80’s.

And then again yesterday evening…. André, my hunnybunny, had gotten paid in Brooks Brothers Gift Cards. $1800 worth. Go figure. Very sadly, during the apocalypse our local Brooks Brothers closed their doors and, as far as we know, permanently.  So, unable to order online in Canadian Dollars, as usual I ended up calling them in the States where they manually entered my order and Gift Cards. Very Helpful, Thanks Michael!

Less than a week later and after paying $150 in taxes and duty Fed Ex delivered an oddly small box containing 5 pairs of dress pants, a windowpane suit jacket, and a $100 belt.  I says to André: ‘why did you order another black belt?’ He says: ‘I’ve never owned a $100 belt before.’ Fair Enough.

Eeek! forgot to do my 500 steps this hour. Back in 3.

Pant! Pant!

As he modeled them, he has a very cute butt and he knows how to strut, I was carefully taking all the tags and labels off, the feel of the fabric and the precision of the stitching brought me back to my happiest career hours picking out coordinates for the windows and dressing bust forms.  One of my weirder skills is being able to unpackage a dress shirt with all its itty bits put neatly in the shirt bag with my eyes closed in less than 5 seconds. If only there were Retail Olympics…

Anyhoo, it was the Grey Windowpane Jacket that really made me smile. The contrast red felt collar lining, the one red threaded button, the red flat piping along the interior lining and pocket. It even has a strip of lining to hold the double vents from flapping. Classic design well-executed is Nirvana. And makes me drool. 

But, don’t forget to undo the Vent stitching. It makes you look…..inexperienced.

Subtlety and Restraint are two excellent ways to describe menswear in general. Well, British and North American menswear. The Europeans are much more outgoing. As I possess neither subtlety nor restraint these are things I admire and covet. Nothing makes me happier than a faint blue, red, or bronze stripe hidden in charcoal flannel. Pick it out with a blue or oxblood tie, cognac shoes and belt and it’s sublime. Step back (5 foot rule) to see if it works. If the suit is striped add a plaid Windsor Collar shirt or if it’s plaid add a yarn-dye stripe. And a pocket square if you’re feeling impish. 

Ah the fabrics, and the ties, and the patterns and styles all with their unique lingo. Mmmm Lingo. 

Whisper with me:

Bespoke

Epaulet

Haberdashery

Collar Roll

Sartorial

Pinstripe

Sprezzatura…..

Definitely the Devil.

I’ve bought a lot of menswear over the years. For myself. My former partner would have nothing to do with anything that wasn’t an old dirty fedora and a dusty ripped trenchcoat. God, he sounds like a Flasher.  It was kind of the same thing as buying myself a present on Father Day because on Mother’s Day even after 3 children I still heard ‘you’re not my mother’. Not that I’m bitter. I gave the man Twins. What more can I do.

Having never been petite of stature or nature, sometimes menswear was my only option. 5’8, size 11 feet, and superbly curved I did not fit the skinny, big haired lollipop girl ideal of the times. Not only did they not offer any kind of fashion in a size 14-16, but all the pants were too short and all the sleeves were ¾. Ok, I had to take in all the waists in men’s stuff, but, as if being one of the only women working in menswear wasn’t enough, wearing it was my own personal rebellion against the female stereotype. That, and I loved the Jackets. Shoulder Pads reigned supreme at that time and they who had the shoulder pads had the power.

And, in any case, it was suicide to wear anything sexy or revealing. Sexual Harassment was rampant. And expected. And a man’s right. I almost stabbed a store manager to death with my wire cutters one day when he grabbed my ass and I automatically back handed him. Any job you applied for you had to have a professional answer ready for ‘How badly do you want this job?’ The things that were said to me on a daily basis even from my bosses would make your hair curl.

‘Do you know what would look good on you? Me.’

I remember a guy at the St. Vital store that kept trying to get me to go to his place for a quicky at lunch. One day I got so tired of it that I finally grabbed my tape measure and told him to whip it out ‘cause I wasn’t going to waste my time for less than 9”. He declined. And left me alone from then on. 

I digress, it’s so nice to be older and wiser and not care about being taken seriously. And people go to jail now for being…. impolite. I dress like a sexy bamf on a daily basis, embrace my curves and still have more balls than most men I’ve known. And I still love menswear.

Omg! Chinooking again. Why? Why do I wear lycra pants? Oh ya, they make my butt look almost as cute as André’s, but so hoooot. And not in a good way. Excuse me as I take them off also. That’s better.

Despite the handicap of his father, I managed to raise my son to be a well-dressed individual.  I think a lot of it was my Father’s influence as well. My Father came of age in the 50’s wearing khaki’s, Dack’s, golf jackets on the weekends and suits to work every day. And, of course, he taught me how to tie a tie. He was left-handed, but forced to be right-handed in school so he batted and tied his tie from the left. Which was awesome because I was right-handed so it all worked out when he showed me.

This is also the man who refused to by a new pair of jeans for the entire 70’s. He wouldn’t wear flares. He had a pair of twill demin pants in narrow white, yellow, and brown stripes that were so recognizable that my Great Aunt Vera recognized him from her moving vehicle as he was filling up at a gas station. It must have been the ’69 Biscayne*. She had just arrived in town from Winnipeg and hadn’t seen him for a few years. Those were some pants. But they weren’t flares.

The ‘80’s on were a big relief for him. He spent the rest of his life, we lost him to Cancer in 2005, in khakis and neat plaid short sleeved shirts and polo shirts. I kept his Grey Flannel Pants and Navy Blazer for years.

We also called him Sir…

And Again! Forgot to do my 500 steps this hour. Back in 3.

….When we would call him at the office, (in Grade 2, an avid reader, I called him every time I finished a chapter in Alice in Wonderland) you couldn’t just ask for Dad. Everybody was a Dad. So we asked to speak to George. When he came on the line he would say ‘That’s Sir to you, kid.’ And it stuck. Even our friends called him Sir. My sister’s kids called him Papa Sir. Kinda like Papa Smurf only more respectful. My youngest niece, Courtney, called him Papa Sewer, but that was just the way she spoke as a toddler. We found it very amuuuuusing. As did he.

Aaaaand, back to my son. I actually enlisted him to work part time at Rosen’s when he was 16. He wanted (or did he?) a part-time job and we needed a Saturday merchandiser. I’d already taught him and his twin sisters how to fold their clothes properly, iron a shirt, and do their laundry. I also taught them that when they look at clothing in a store they need to put it back exactly they way they found it. Respect for Retail. It was sooo fun to dress him and see him get measured for his first suit. Staff Discounts Rock! We never actually worked together at the same time, but it was cool to work at the same place.

I also told him, it being his first job, that ‘If you’re late, screw up, or make me look bad I will let them fire you.’ I also told him ‘Don’t forget we work this lifestyle, we don’t live it.’ Entitled is not a good look on anybody. He chose his Boss suit for Grad, slim fit with pointy shoes and put his long blonde hair in pony tail for the occasion. This was way before man-buns which he would have scoffed at anyway.

I was so proud of him at the first Christmas Party and and at the 2nd he wore his made to measure Tilford purple velvet peak lapel Jacket. As he danced with his girlfriend on the dancefloor I couldn’t help shouting ‘Shake what your mama gave you!’ He got me back when we did a company paintball tournament. The pic of us two in our guns an gear hung in the staff room for ages. But, kept he shooting me. It hurt.

‘William, we’re on the same team. Stop shooting me!’

‘Then stop being a pylon.’

If anyone has pics or memories of the things I’m describing, please feel free to share with rest of us!

*more on Dad’s Vehicles. ’64 Pontiac Stratochief ’71 Chevrolet Impala Custom and the Volaré Station Wagon Woh-oh. Volaré! Woh-oh-oh-no! Not a GM product. ‘Nuff Said. Stay Tuned.

#welldressedmen #menswear #devilinthedetails #metoo #haberdashery #merchandising #display