#'little nervous' lmao no i'm actually highkey terrified

[pumpkinpaix]

hi sorry, wanted to ask a clarifying question if thats ok! your writing & yunmeng sibs tag imply that u see wwx and jc as brothers, but also on ao3 youve bookmarked chengxian nsfw? im wondering how you stand on that

hey there anon! that’s fine, though I admit I’m a little nervous haha

I do see them as brothers, and I love writing and reading them as brothers, but I also enjoy “problematic” ships like I enjoy anything else. I don’t see a contradiction in doing so.

I know that given the sort of personality I have, it might come as a surprise that I actually like a lot of shit that many people would probably consider fucked up, but that’s how it is. //shrug I’ve suffered enough self-flagellation and self-harm for it over the years, and I’m very grateful that I managed to largely surmount that particular mental hurdle before the recent wave of purity culture that’s sweeping the online fandom sphere right now really gained momentum, because, no joke, combined with the OCD, the self-hatred, the constant, constant fear of being bad and dirty and gross, the shame complex I have about sex in general, this could have killed me if it had come a few years earlier.

(if you or anyone else is curious how I stand generally on purity culture/shipping morality etc. in general, you can always check my purity culture tag, but do be warned there’s a lot of vitriol contained within and it can be stressful to look at all at once. also, I obviously don’t wholeheartedly agree with everything that’s in there because they are other people’s words, but I rb things that I agree with in essence general disclaimer etc.)

I don’t really want to get too deep in the weeds, even though that is my wont and my brand, but suffice it to say, yes. Both of the statements you made were true, and my stance is yeah! I think both are good. I understand if this means people need to unfollow me for their own brain’s well-being, and I encourage you to do so if you feel it’s necessary! knowing your limits and listening to yourself is an important part of curating your online space.

that being said, if you liked me before I said this and thought I was a pretty cool person, I would be happy if you decided to stay, even if this initially gives you pause. I’m the same person, after all, and I like to think that I do my best to put good into the world. (*´▽`*)

* as a general FYI, I also bookmark in a very idiosyncratic way due to my OCD ahahaha so I used to bookmark literally almost every fic I read that I enjoyed even slightly (I was basically using it as the kudos function?? I kind of still do that, but I’m trying to change so I can have an actual functioning bookmark system someday in the future), so there’s actually quite a lot of fic I’ve bookmarked that I didn’t actually like very much at all. my bookmarks actually say very little about my tastes LMAO. I’ve been meaning to go in and clean things up, but it hasn’t been a top priority for me.