#'i'll never be you' <- curse/blessing. despair/resistance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rearranging-deck-chairs · 6 months ago

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ive written a number of thasmin scenes that echo the 12x7 "ive been where you are" and sea devils beach scene from a number of slightly different angles on yazs emotional position in it, but what i havent done yet is give it a fleabag "it'll pass" sorta vibe where we repurpose "moments change" to turn it into an expression of disillusionment

#am i making sense #thinking of karvanista's 'i wouldve done anything for you'#and of yazs headspace in this fic im writing which is not quite at this point #or more accurately. not deeply at this point. superficially it's close but in the foundation she still loves the doctor #thats where the frustration comes from #but she is very tired and not hiding it 'i adjusted my expectations ages ago'#but like it's not too hard to imagine pushing yaz to a place where this exhaustion is not just like the surface expression of the fear of #losing the doctor #but instead goes down deeper than that and turns out to actually be this realisation that maybe she'd prefer losing the doctor #you know what i mean?#future yaz meeting present yaz and being like 'ive been where you are (in love with her still). moments change'#present yaz being half 'can you promise?' and half 'i'll never be you'#'i'll never be you' <- curse/blessing. despair/resistance #very much echoing 13s attitude to 15 in this fic #i wonder if i could write another sequel with yaz like that #i dont think so but it'd be cool #despair/resistance really feels like. thesis statement of yaz and 13 a little bit #theyre an anti-suicide pact and theyre also a shared self-destruction

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