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#'i havent made a doctors appointment for this possibly life threatening issue yet' im actually going to start sobbing .
gaytoddhoward
·
3 months
Text
i kind of need to be like skinned or put into a meat grinder or something . lol .
#personal
#vent
#vent in tags
#maybe i can just boil myself alive instead
#im so SICK of being the one to be actively concerned with all my friends' health & having to tell them to take care of themselves
#'yeah i threw up from a hangover on the way here and i havent eaten in like 3 days and i dont do anything other than work and sleep'
#ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME
#'i only shower once a week' we can tell 'and i dont ever use shampoo. and im still surviving off a diet of just top ramen and dr pepper'
#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST. TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF
#'i havent made a doctors appointment for this possibly life threatening issue yet' im actually going to start sobbing .
#IM NOT. MAD AT ANY OF MY FRIENDS TO BE CLEAR
#but god its so fucking tiring. to be one of maybe two people to actually go 'hey that is really concerning please take care of yourself'
#and then i cant fucking. take care of myself & i dont have the energy to think about my friends health anymore and i feel bad about it
#i am NOT the pinnacle of health. but got damb !! if ur gonna not take care of yourself please do not tell me about it i get so so worried
#& then my mother . god. waves vaguely at any interaction i have with her. doesnt make it any better
#im so sick i need out of this house & out of this town get me outta here ! id thrive in pokemon put me in the pokeverse or some shit PLEASE
#if ur the one person who i mentioned in tags thats also on tumblr pls pls know i am not mad at you im just so stressed always
#& i care for u so deeply & it worries me so bad that u/ur family havent made more progress towards getting the issue solved .
#(u probably won't see this post anyways but if u do. i just want it to be clear)
#ANYWAYS it just crazy how i can bounce so rapidly from 'im not even human' to 'i am Too human'. and iam so so sick .of it.
#if a single customer even makes eye contact with me at work tomorrow im going to gnaw my left pinky off in front of them i stg
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