#'golly gee how did i accidentally murder THE ENTIRE CREW'
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Omg, Ad Astra is the worst movie I've seen in FOREVER ahahahaha wtf. This is an MST3K winner. Tried waaay too hard. Good grief it was terrible. The utter pointlessness of almost every scene. You all should watch it. πππ
#they asked the question 'how can we get rid of the pilot' and they really answered:#'face eating baboons in space'#πππππππ#lolok#the only justification for face eating space baboons was to replace the pilot#wild#what did they do with the rest of the research station????#no body knows#then they really asked 'how do we get a guy inside a rocket about to lift off in 5'#and they really honest to God answered:#'through the trap door in the GD ENGINE COMPARTMENT OFC'#because that won't fry anybody or like rip all the air out or anything#because one dude and his scrawny arms can totally definitely still hang on AND open a door while the rocket reaches terminal without gettin#even a LITTLE crispy#dude whose heartrate nEVeR goes above 80 lolok#'i am not a threat to your mission' says the guy breaking into a f*ing rocket surprised that people are shooting at him#'golly gee how did i accidentally murder THE ENTIRE CREW'#'i still promise to complete the mission tho in ur honor'#dude the mission had literal NET ZERO GAIN FROM YOUR PRESENCE in fact the gain is at least NEGATIVE 3 LIVES#but ok#now we're stuck listening to your boring ass monologuing for the rest of the movie#also apparently you can just LEAN THROUGH SPACE and just go where you want#catapult yourself through SPACE ROCKS TRAVELING AT HUNDREDS OF MILES PER HOUR and NOT GET JAMMED AT FIRST CONTACT#let ALONE hang onto your flimsy metal shield#yes we'll just eyeball that THOUSAND MILE GAP I GUESS#like i do hanging pictures on the wall guess that qualifies me for spaceflight 8)#also why is this dude's father still flying in space in his 70s HE DOESN'T LOOK WELL#what an incredibly drab show#commentary#movies
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